Conan Vs. Edibles Part II

Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hello, Conan O'Brien here. Normally this would be a fan interaction of some kind. This is the drop, I call it the drop, where I talk to somebody in the world and those are fun. Today we're gonna do a little something different. And this is called fan service. I know my fans are anxiously awaiting word on my gummy situation. Now, let's recap for anyone who didn't hear that and doesn't know the situation. Not long ago, Sona, you got me some gummies. Sure did. And they're lovely looking. It's these canisters that are just gorgeous. Yeah. And they're gummies, you got me all kinds of gummies for all kinds of occasions. Isn't that true? What were some of the gummies that refreshed my mind? Some of them were to liven you up, maybe put some pep in your step. I'm gonna say they're all Camino brand. They have not sent us anything yet. It's probably in the mail. It better be, because I just said it again. Also, maybe they're on brand and they're taking their time. They can't cut off the couch. Like they're all stoners there. It's a fun little riff. Okay, what if you say so? Yeah, pretty funny. Anyway. You have to say that your riff is funny. Yeah, bro, we didn't send those. I forget, man. He... No, they're never sending you anything. I sent ones for sleep. They all different flavors. You know, I gave you a bunch, thinking that it could help you. You gave me a bunch and I was excited. I was looking at them all and I thought this could really change my life. Maybe, you know, a lifetime, a lifetime of being on it. Well, you can fill in the blanks here. Type A. Follow the rules. Follow the rules. L7, weenie. Yeah. I don't know what love, but the... When you go love. I gotta do it, but the... Follow the rules. I can't do anything. Oh, it's not. What is this part? Love, but the... That's how I... I don't... That's my impression of you. It's like, oh, gosh, guys, don't do that, guys. Guys, it can fry your brain cells, everybody. Yeah. So you're just... You're a straight lace. A straight lace. I think that's what I say. Yeah. It's not a bad thing. Well, after what you just did, after that whole run, I think it's a terrible thing. It's not bad being a cyborg sent from the future to destroy humankind. Yeah. So I need to come clean. People are probably... We think fans are saying, oh, my God, Conan got these gummies. What happened? Because he promised he was gonna go off and do them. And this is the hilarious part. It's now been, I think, two weeks. Yeah, it's been a minute. Yeah, it's been a minute. Well, I just said two weeks. So I don't know why you're having it. But it is a cooler way to say it, I think. All right, yeah. Well, factual. Two weeks is the appropriate times, man. All right, here's the update. And I think this is gonna have to be a work in progress. And I have turned taking gummies into a chore. I have turned taking gummies into a... I'll get to it. I just have to slot it in. I know. That's what I've done with gummies. And apparently the best gummies one can get, Camino. Camino, yes, yes. He me and they mentioned this, man. Cheech and Chong work there? Yeah, they do. So I'll come clean. I have nibbled on the corner of the sleep one. And... Nibbled on the glory. Literally, I want to say less than half. First of all, they're delicious. They are. They are really... They taste great. And I think paired with the right wine, fantastic. OK. So anyway, I had... I want to see maybe I had a quarter. I'm like... That's a little quarter of one. We'll get to you, Eduardo. Eduardo basically... Eduardo looks so disappointed. Eduardo famously called me a little bitch on the podcast. Because he heard me being squeamish about taking my gummy. And so anyway, you're being proven right, Eduardo. Because what I've managed to do in two weeks is, I think on two occasions, nibbled on maybe a quarter of one. And it looks like a very tiny mouse got at one. That's what it looks like. I mean, the smallest mouse that ever... A mouse embryo lived long enough to nibble on the corner of a sleep gummy. And I'm a redhead, so I'm very tolerant. So of course, I've felt nothing so far. And that's nothing on Camino, big supporter. He means, thanks, man. But, you know, I haven't gone whole hog. Now, there's another one that gets you... It's called... It's called... It's called... No, there's one called Chill. Oh, yeah. Chill, Chill. I don't need to be exhilarated because let's face it, I was born kind of leaning into life. In the fair. Yeah. And I don't need that. I don't need to be sped up. Chill is the one that interested me. I have not tried one yet and I'll look at it and I'll go, well, I'll check and get to that tonight. I don't know. Yeah, go ahead. When you said that you're treating it like a chore, I did. I think we were on the phone on Friday. David was there. Yeah. I begged you to take them to try it over the weekend. And you were like kind of grown. Oh, because Adam is like, we need this. The fans needed Adam is always wielding his whip. And Adam is like, you need to get to this. This needs to be a segment and the fans are waiting and you're about to leave for your next travel show and you'll be gone for two weeks. And I started to go, OK, so I've got a guy on the phone nagging me. And he could have been someone from the IRS saying, do you got to file your return on the 15th? And I'm going, I'll get to it. I just haven't had it. I've got to go find the shoebox of receipts. That is my attitude about taking a gummy. Where does this come from? Is this something like you want us to put in your calendar? Like take, take gummy. I think you have to. OK. People be put it in my calendar. Oh, wait, wait, wait. So I'm a side. Is that it? I'm like, I think you're just you're overthinking it. Look, if you don't want to do it, that's fine. We're not peer pressuring you. Are we peer pressure? That's the dictionary definition of what you're doing. Yeah, we are. You are. I thought you were a little bit. You are my peers. Yeah. And you were exerting enormous. Eduardo called me a little bitch. That was just an observation. That wasn't peer pressure. That wasn't just an observation. Between your little bitch, Adam calling me anxiously and saying, we got to get on this. Yeah, I guess I'm feeling a little bit of pressure. But I'm going to I'm going to do it. I'm just if we can be real here for a second, I come from, you know, as you know, my dad, a doctor, and he, I mean, I just grew up. He was against us taking anything. I mean, you know, aspirin was like a big leap. Do you know what I mean? And so that's why that's probably. I think he was high all the time. My dad. I don't know. Yeah, he was. You know, my dad was you know, my dad was Jamaican. He was Jamaican. He was in a ska group in the 50s. He was. My dad was in a very good ska band in Jamaica. And then he emigrated to Boston in the late 50s. And his stage name was O'Brien. And then he cut his hair and became, you know, microbiologist at Brigham Women's Hospital in Boston. Well, I think your dad would have been more on board with you, you know, taking an edible than doing like taking an antibiotic, for instance. So I think he would have been on board with a little bit. He would have been OK with the correct antibiotic. My dad was, you know, leading authority on antibiotic resistance. This is the stuff the fans really want to hear about. After his ska band. Yeah. His I'm sorry, his ska band was antibiotic resistance. And it was a name that really was unpopular in Jamaica. And Jimmy Cliff was telling him he got to change that. And he was like, hey, man, you know, it's a whole thing. I mean, I. So anyway, he he would have been in favor. He was in favor of antibiotics. This is OK. My dad was not like an RFK junior. He was in favor of the right, correct antibiotic. He just didn't like it when people took the shotgun approach to antibiotics, which is a major problem and has caused a lot of resistant bacteria and been a huge issue. And I bring that up in my dad's memory. And I think he was correct. Obviously, he was correct. But anyway, get back getting back to the fun part. I think that no, my dad would have been like, what? You don't take something that you want to relax. That would have what Zubid has said. You want to relax? You want to you want to not be on guard for a second? What are you talking about? So that's the culture I come from. OK. You know, we we've got to go to Catholic Church. We've got to we've got to stay on it. And that's been my that's been my way. OK. But I think it's it's only because you've expressed some interest in it. That's why we we think it'll be nice to just do a little dabble. I just say that. Again, no peer pressure. I'm also I'm also do it. I'm also intrigued by the thought of an orgy. I mean, there's a lot of things that there's a lot of things that intrigue me, but I don't think I'll try it. Am I intrigued by the idea of there being nine naked bodies? All of us rolling around on a massive bed. You know, and there's the ladies, but there's also the fellas and things are flipping and flopping. You know, sure. Sure. Am I curious? Yeah. Have I made several appointments sometimes? Yes, I have. If you grow up Catholic the way I did, there are all these things. The notion of it titillates you. I just said titillate that the same titillate intrigued me for a long time. And I just said it for the first time. You things excite you, but you, oh, God, for, you know, it's forbidden fruit. You don't go there. So for me, that's the chill gummy. Now, I think I made a big step by eating a quarter of a sleep gummy. That is true. And you felt nothing. Well, yeah, I have to say, and that's not on the gummy brand at all. That's on me. I'm six for, you know, one hundred and ninety three pounds of pure beef. I'm also a redhead. So your beef. Well, I'm sorry. I am very muscular. Yeah. And people are surprised when they, you know, you are in great shape. And that's why I thought, you know, maybe half or even a full five milligram would be. I'm not ready to do that yet. That's OK. Baby steps. Also, I'm always operating heavy machinery. That's a regular part of my life. I bought a I bought a forklift about a year ago. And one of my ways of relaxing is just driving it around the neighborhood. And lifting things and storing them in a warehouse. So, you know, you can't. No, you can't take medication or gummies before you operate the forklift. Yeah. But no, I'm going to get to it. I promise. But I think it's this is unintentional. It sounds like a bit, but it really isn't. You gave me gummies. I was excited and I've turned it into something I need. I need to carve out time for that, which is so hilarious. It is really funny the way you're over. Oh, here we go. Well, can I just ask a question, which is you? You're doing it right now. Let's go, which is which is you've had beer and wine and alcohol and it wears off. I mean, this is the same thing. It's not like you're going to take a gummy and then forever you're going to be. OK, let me let me address that. Let me address that issue. I know exactly what you're saying. And I think it's a fair point. I really don't, you know, I try not to drink a lot these days. And but yeah, I've been in an altered state. And boy, am I funny. Very funny. I'm really, really funny when I've had a few. But but I mean, God, it's like whole next level. And if you think this was good, you know, we should do a thing where Conan has a couple of glasses of wine and then people are. But you know, it's going to be like, you know, often hires, often times we're seeing the big light. People can't handle it. We're going to have to put on. No, seriously, we're going to have to tell people who listen to the pod. Conan's going to have a couple glasses of wine. Everyone needs to get into some kind of a shelter. You can watch through a little slit. You have to have glasses made of lead, because it's going to be that kind of thing. It's fun. And then Sirius is going to call and go, you know, our whole system is down because of the energy you emitted with your comedic ray. I'm like, oh, what are we going to do now? So any hoots, be that as it may. Yeah, that is a true thing. I think I grew up in that era where I mean, I grew up in a dry house. My parents didn't drink. There was no liquor in the house. There was nothing. So I took a brave step by having some red wine. You know, I didn't. So that was my big excursion into the wilderness. Then. But then you add gummies, marijuana. And it's it's what's that? Yes. You add glad you're here. No one adds to a story like you. I'm the ham and you just dropped one little clove into it. I I come from that era where if some I remember my uncle Gavin calling them like jazz cigarettes. My uncle Gavin came to Saturday Night Live and he was he came to a taping of Saturday Night Live. And afterwards he was amazed. He saw it live. He got to sit on the floor right in front of where they do the monologue. And he saw a G.E. Smith and the band play. And he came out afterwards. And I remembered Bob Odenkirk and I were standing there and he went, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, that band. Tell me that guitarist doesn't have a jazz cigarette jammed down his bootleg. Oh, my God. That's the era I come from. You're you're going to the Netherlands. You're going to the like weed capital of the world. Yeah, but that doesn't hold any water anymore, because I think LA is the weed capital of the world. I mean, it's legal. Well, they have cafes there. It's a big part of, you know, why a lot of tourists go there. So are you not going to come? Coming at all. You know, who's coming on this trip, who never comes on trips? Who? My wife, Liza. Liza. Yeah. But she, you know, if I say, hey, let's hit a cafe and I'll have some wiki tobacco in my boba tea, she's going to say, you will not. You know, I don't know. I think she'd be into it. No, she's not a Bobby McFerrin, you know, she's not a. What? She's not a don't worry, be happy person. She's a you better told the line. See, and I'm like, yes, dear, no, dear, yes, dear, no, dear. So and trust me, that is the most spot on impression of my wife. Absolutely. Now you listen to me. You think you're going to relax and have fun? Not on my watch. No, dear, no, dear, no, dear. How dare you? Yeah, I'd so insane. I know I won't take this Liza Blast. She is the mother of my children. She is an angel and I just totally portrayed her. You did. Maybe there's a grain of truth. Who knows? I don't think she's going to be the one saying, hey, you better go get fucked up. That's not Liza either. So look, if it was me going on this trip, sans my wife and Jeff Ross is there going. Let's go. Let's get fucked up. Just going to have the best time on this trip. Yeah, well, you're going to enjoy it. Yeah, we're going to have some fun. Yeah. Well, OK. Well, you get fucked up in most places we go. Snappity dappity. Yeah, yeah. In even places where he shouldn't be. He may not just have a good time. That's not the point. The point is, I love to say that's not the point. The point is, even when no one's disagreeing with me. Nobody. I love it. It's one of my favorite things. But that's not the point. The point is, wait, Conan, you're the only one talking. Who are you talking back to? This is why you need a gummy. You just put it. This is what it's like inside your mind. Yeah, this stops. This you just sit. You'll just sit. It's OK. Look, on your own time, don't feel like you have to, but you should. Oh, no. Go ahead. I did this on Kimmel. People loved it where I froze my face. Yeah, it's good for an audio medium. Yeah, everyone listening. Yeah, he's so I'll get to it. I'll get to the gummy. But, you know, that whole thing of, hey, Amsterdam, I don't think that holds water anymore because literally this street lights here in Los Angeles are made of marijuana. That's true. You know, tightly packed woven marijuana. I partake from time to time. If you miss a day, come on, be honest. No, there are some days where I can't because I have to mother. That's very different from I partake from some. Hey, occasionally there's a moment when I can't. It's very different from I partake from time to time. I'm time to time I partake, but if I ever went to Amsterdam, I would definitely enjoy doing it there. You take gummies the way a person with terrible diabetes takes insulin. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Constantly. What are you talking about? You inject yourself with gummy, liquid gummy. I'm not a total. I don't wake and bake. I'm not a total potted. I have children I have to take care of. That's true. But at the end of the day, after a long day, yeah. Sure. You've got, is it called gum it up? What's the cool way to say to take a gummy? I don't know, but I don't think it's gum it up. I don't know what it is. What do you ride? The gum train. What do you do? Yeah, I ride the gum train. This is, you know what? This it'll help you with all of this. And I think do we want to help me? That's the other thing. What if I'm going to propose something? What if I take the chill when I really like it and I take a little more and I really like it? And suddenly I come in here. I don't have any of my psychic wounds. I don't have any of my old neural grooves. I don't have my weird spasms and my flights of fancy based on neurotic madness. And then suddenly all of this ends. Oh. All of this ends. I'm in and I'm going to come in and I'm like, hi, Sona, how are you? What about it? Are you okay? Oh, are you talking to me with respect? Yeah. How are you? Oh, I hate this. What are you talking about? This is nice. Are you okay? I'm doing really well, Kordyn, how are you? I'm very well, thank you. Oh, good. David, how are you? Are you lowering your... Yeah, but how are you, David? Scared. Yeah. This is the new Conan. I just had some chill and... Blazorazing his hands. I was going to talk about, well, I guess just the news today, I guess. Okay. A lot going on in the news, so let's discuss that. Yes, what's up? That's never going to happen and I would also say... Wait, how are you? No, I'm... And you know what? I welcome you on, Mike. I'm going to tell you... Oh. That's definitely not going to happen. My favorite quote, I've said this before on the podcast, my favorite quote of yours you ever said was, we were on a flight going on an international trip. It's in the middle of the night and I was up reading and you come back to my seat, you're like, hey, how's it going? I'm like, hey, man, what's up? And you're like, good. I'm like, you should get some sleep. We have to shoot as soon as we get off the plane. You're like, I took an ambient and it was like throwing a tic-tac into the sun. Yeah. And so let me tell you... I burned through meds. I mean, they go... They are not going to do anything. When meds meet my system, they just go... Yes. You know, except pro-foal, which is why I get... Oh, God. Which is why I get a colonoscopy every week. I tell them, don't even put a camera back there. I said, don't just sketch from memory. You don't need a camera. But, you know, I'm always in there. And sometimes I get a colonoscopy and then I sit out there and then I come back in and I put a mustache on and say, Mr. Jones. And then I put a mustache on my bare ass. So it looks like someone else's ass. And they go like, I go like, that's... And this is my ass. Mr. Jones' ass. And then I have my ass go, Hello, I've never had a colonoscopy. And they're like, why is your ass talking to us in a lower tone? And I say, just let's have the pro-foal and get going. Oh, my God. I have the most photograph colon of all time. Seriously. They're thinking of running them all together and having its own channel. A streaming channel. 900 hours of all Conan. I loves the probe. Loves the probe. I loves the probe. But, yeah, so there will be another episode where I update you because I am going to do it. Oh, Mark, my words, I promise you, I shall take the chill gummy and I'll take a whole sleep gummy and we'll see what happens. You know what I mean? No pressure. All right. Well, listen, I look forward to this and it will be the end of the podcast as we know it because I've relaxed Conan. Not a fun Conan. That's all I'm going to say. Who's the little bitch now, Eduardo? Conan O'Brien needs a fan with Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Sessian and Matt Gorely. Produced by me, Matt Gorely. Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Frost and Nick Leaugh. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer, Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Byrne. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up at SiriusXM.com slash Conan. Please rate, review and subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a fan wherever fine podcasts are done.