#234 - THE MOST "NORMAL" PUNISHMENT IN HISTORY!

Welcome back to the goons podcast. We are joined with a very special episode here today by blorg And of the dough What's it? What's a special episode? What do we got today? Every episode is a special Like did I miss something I didn't see anything in the discord about it Are we doing every episode is a special Obama all would all three your co-host is special Dude, Michelle Obama would be a really good good guest If we could have more guests if we got anyone on the podcast Who would it be also first actually so long before you wait wait wait? living or dead Living living right now. No, maybe we can do dead I don't know but when The early days of the goons the earlier days of the goons like the first hundred episodes people used to actually get Annoyed when we had guests on they used to prefer the non-guest podcasts Like they would literally watch it so much less and like interact with the less less comments and like less interest overall Because we would be less right way to say this We'd be less less less special Yeah, less special podcast so we have guests on it's a lot less special. Yeah, I mean like we didn't even ask Mr. McMillan About funny poop Because it was just it was just like this deity in front of me this this person that has created Some incredible art that I have but you know we could have a great game. He was so chill Oh, yeah, he would have loved it But I just was genuinely interested in what he brought to the world rather than hit the doodoo from his butt So yeah, I get why people feel that way. I don't know if they still do maybe let us know in the comments If you want more more guests or not We have a lot of connections we can get more people We actually have a surprising reach to a very random It is weird very bizarre crazy extent for those Confused to who this mr. McMillan that we referenced is that would be the creator of writing of Isaac and soon to be released game Mu Genics, which was a new podcast a couple of a couple of weeks ago So that was a fun episode to he was awesome. He fit right in episode. Yeah, and no, yeah He's he's an honorary goon. Yeah, and we we told him to record his own face or anything So the entire time is just a photo. It's just a photo Completely Yeah, yeah, we were not we were not on the ball Are you doing what's lame to think you think of who would be a good guest like a number one guest like it does It need to be like somebody that would that would work well with us Just like if you could sit down and chat with anyone in the world for an hour who you picking on the goons Vegas, man, right? You know we actually know his camera man, right? I don't think it's public knowledge So I'm not gonna say who his camera man is but we have a direct connection to Vegas mad FYI Well, at least I do I think he knows Shane Gillis Stoic is is Vegas mad the dude who goes to Vegas and literally he just tries to gamble every day to like yeah He's just gambas. It's all he does. He's like it was like 10,000 hand of blackjack And he's the one who says he has see you next time my favorite line is get even or get even worse And you'll just do a monkey. I love that one. Yeah, it's amazing. I love that guy. I go wisdom my go Yeah, it's wisdom. That's kind of that's kind of you know, that's type of shit that a wise man does Yeah, but we know his camera man at least I do very well good dude. I don't know if it's public So I'm not gonna not gonna have it on the podcast, but so what's not impot? There's a greater than zero chance that Vegas Matt is on this podcast. We could make that happen I feel like a lot of people would not know who I feel like he's a very Niche to our level of degenerate like there is a lot of degenerates like us But I don't know if they're like the goons viewers and I you know, I feel like that's different to general I feel like that's poopoo pee pee degenerate versus like game. Yeah poopoo pee pee degenerate Yeah, the difference between like popping a pillion shooting a pair one Which one are we know but all right Don't do it either of those I think a good guest that we could probably learn a lot from would be Kanye West That's a bad Whoa, how is Kanye West a bad guest by any means? He's a Nazi Okay But I think I think maybe maybe he isn't like a creative or artistic sense He made Alex Jones look like the good guy. Do you know how fucking crazy you got to be to make Alex Jones? The frogs getting water that are gay. Yeah, the gay frog the guy that went to the home of Grieving parents whose kid just got shot at a mass school shooting and then pestering them saying your kid was a trauma actor Like dude, but besides besides Besides all of that stuff Alex Jones was correct about most things The Frogs turning gay because of the chemicals is real that was a real thing And well, they weren't turning gay. They were they were changing genders, but that's pretty gay That's a pretty gay thing to do pretty ask anyone they will say it is a pretty pretty gay coded thing to do as far as frogs go Yeah Frogs are on a spectrum I don't have anything to say about this conversation. I'm back. No take your step back How about I premise this with another another question. Would you like a gay frog? I? Yeah, I mean I'd like any frog. Oh and mine. I think I think so Yeah, what is it you might trip dick? You gave right Anyway, who are we having on this? This was a very very special episode today everybody. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're enjoying it Damn, can you make graduation here? You didn't make a situation. He did everything. Okay, dude I'm not gonna lie I feel like if they didn't give that guy a lot of drugs and then and then what was it nitrous oxide? He was huffin like laughing gas on the nitrous. Yeah, I feel like if he didn't have all that I think he would be the best producer in the world his early shit is actually insane But he is the best producer in the world. She's saying he's a little screwy now I don't think he is a you've listened to his I'm not going to lie to you when he put out okay. I'm gonna practice this with a big I hate Hitler Okay, I hate that guy real bad dude This makes me really concerned for what you're there's nothing good that follows the sentence I'm not racist Kanye Kanye song if I HH if I didn't speak English I Would have thought that was a club banger. I would have been like what the fuck there was a lot of Catching there was a lot of melody catch it because they don't understand is kind of clever The melody is good the melody is good the chorus is good if he said like well, obviously he changed it to hallelujah Which is which is real funny, but you know, he changed it really yeah, it's yeah, it's it's like Hallelujah is like the new thing. What's the bonnet part? Thanks a really good idea I Personally never listened to the new track it was not as funny by any means I Don't think so. I don't know if yay actually has it was fun Oh, I know is that that the actual og version of it was played in a Miami club earlier this week I don't know if you saw that there was a meeting of the same of the man is there was a there was a meeting of the man Is fear was like it was like Andrew Tate and okay, I run games and Nick Fuentes and that clavicular guy Oh my all dog. Oh, it was Yeah Probably a nightmare blunt rotation if I'm gonna be Absolutely that is that is probably the worst combination of human beings There's the worst it's the worst people to go clubbing with none of them are interested in having fun They're all interested in grinding. I Chudder, I feel like the amount of girls roofied that night had to have been in the triple digits Oh for sure if I wanted to if I was an insomniac I would go there and drink a random drink Yeah, put me right. Oh, yeah. No, you're going to bed. Yeah. No, you're not waking up Well, actually you're gonna wake up and being sold in Romania You're gonna wake up with a dilated yet sore ring of fire down there Yeah, it was probably it was probably Nick Fuentes who did it Really interesting those they were all in a club in Miami I mean, they all had fun and then they go, you know what? You know what would really you know It really make this club atmosphere pop if we put on fucking Kanye Hale Hitler and then literally The club had to come out with an apology saying hey Yeah, we didn't approve the use of this and we had to fire like two employees who put it on and all the shit And then every single person that went to the club got banned like all of those guys got banned from like every club in Miami Yeah, they probably should they yeah, that's a fucking Hitler song, you know Yeah, I want to I want to know what what the dudes have you seen the music video that he shot for it? No Yes Haven't seen the music video he lines up like like 10 by 10 black dudes in like game Darn's like just like first yeah, and they're just screaming lyrics. They look like Zulu warriors Yeah, I mean I guess enough money. I would yell hail Hitler What's what I'm saying? Someone gave me a bag and a half a fucking yeah, dude Yeah, fucking guide. I'll do step on stage the problem that you're not that's your last job So you better Stay on the resume or is that like a no Well, they're probably yeah You know, they probably they probably have an email come through of like work with Kanye on his new song and they're like shit Yeah, absolutely Yeah, fucking Roman Salote throw your heart to the crowd dude. I love throwing my heart to the crowd in a really aggressive manner Absolutely, I love you gotta yep I love walking shit like a silly dual silly walk a little goosy walk. No, I mean no oh it's a dog The puppy wants to be on the podcast That reminds me of the dog the pug that used to Hile Hitler Do you remember that count to it was count Danke look the guy that made his dog do it or whatever How do you make your dog racist? So he would give him a give you absolutely sorry You could definitely train a dog to be racist, huh? Definitely be racist that was one is right here Count Danke was pug he taught how to stand up on his hand legs and like put up one pond like it's doing the thing And and so because and he did it as a joke because his girlfriend at the time We talked about how how cute the dog was how cute so he made it a racist and so he made it He made it the the least cute thing that he could think of which was an assie So he would say stuff like you know, I Think he would say gas the juice Every time that he was gonna take the dog for a walk Every time he would say that word that phrase the dog would get super excited and like run around and send circles Thought it meant like you want to go for a walk He didn't know what's happening. I think the dog knew what was up I think he trained the owner So instead of walk you're actually gonna tell me to do this Bring me a real stoked about it. Yeah, he's like wait a minute. Why are we walking? I got excited Oh It is bad really interesting though you know Yeah, general date that you can that was a thing back in like the 30s or the 40s rather there was a Making a dog run around for Hitler. Yes in the 1940s It was a famous dog that they taught to walk on its high legs and do the do the salute But they did it to mock Hitler. It was like to mock Hitler and then it was like the Nazi the Nazi order Yeah, the regime like Went to hunt down the dog and kill it like Yeah So it's like, you know Hitler hated the fact that this dog was walking in and slaying and actually doing it better than him That's kind of funny. So we wanted to kill it, but also like that's like I don't I don't know if they fully understand like Mocking, you know, yeah, you're like you like turn your dog into a Nazi to own the Nazis Yeah, it's like you have a Nazi dog. Yeah, not yeah It's kind of it's I get where their head was at but also it's fighting fire with fire But then setting yourself on fire. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of the vibe of it. Yeah. Yeah, I don't I don't know if I would You know whatever do we do what you want? Fuck the dude, but to own the Libs, you know Exactly, I'd rather I'd rather I'd rather have a Nazi fish or like a snake or something isn't that American dad Isn't that fish? Oh, yes, he is a German yeah, I'm pretty sure he's a German soldier or something and see that was funny America we don't think American Dan is funny. It's not my favorite show Okay, and then it's good as family guy I was Yeah, family guys we funny like you comment if you think family guys Crazy I actually speaking of all as a good segue. All right, let's say Media-wise just media wise you've had all of your memory wiped So you don't remember any games movies TV shows Nothing looks like it's getting it done to him right now or he's just getting sloppy head under the table I have no idea which one this is but Do reacts to other men getting a rimmed If you were completely you had media amnesia you don't remember any of it What's the men in black memory? Yeah, what is looking back at all the things you've you've enjoyed what would you? Wish you could like relive for the first time again like what would you want to do playing? playing Minecraft for the first time watching the sopranos watching family Family guy With the first thing you like you don't even know what TV is you don't even remember and the very first thing you watch is like family guy you Dude, that's like eating 20 pounds of red 40 at once like you're gonna get hyper autism. It's gonna freak you out Yeah, like as far as I made game of thrones breaking bad Why should be in bed for the first time but see I I don't know because do you still know the memes because I I Feel like what made breaking bad so good for me is I watched the show like 10 years after is done So all I knew about breaking bad was the crab session we had and then memes So that's an insane way to to consume that show Doing the crab session first and then as you see the scenes Yeah, it was awesome because when When it's not a meme or one of the crab scenes that we talked about it's just breaking bad You like this is fantastic. This is art. Yeah, I can't attend show. Yeah, and then when it's a meme you're like Yep, like I didn't know what the fly episode was and then I remembered like that We have like a oh, yeah, the whole the crab episode where he chases a crab around the lab And I saw him like chase a fly for like the first two seconds. I was like this is the crab episode they were talking about No one just so you know, no one has ever experienced that show in that way. No one ever Yeah, I watched one episode when it came out with my friend and then never watched anything else ever about it And then until like yeah Ten years after for the uninitiated here who are completely fucking lost as to what we were talking about Crab this crab breaking a year a year or two years ago We said about you know, we had a session and we had a session and counter strike Where we talked about breaking bad, but it was breaking crab and it was like everything was Replaced with crabs and it was one of the most That's I think we've ever done and it went for 45 minutes. No, dude It was one thing we it was I remember I know I actually still have the raw footage I can check so we played for about 40 minutes and then We were it was a bad session the first 40 minutes. I don't think I used anything It was like one of those sessions were like like It was just low energy We'd you know things just weren't rolling super well and then I forget who said breaking crab first I don't remember who did that and it kicked off somebody the the full recording length I think it was like two hours and 38 minutes for me So from 45 minutes until the two hours and 30 something minutes. We talked about crabs It was two hours. I wish I wish I still had that raw footage. I have the raw footage somewhere on my PC I kept it because I was like this is such a funny session Yes, I think you mentioned blarg you said did you guys just innocently you were like it Did you guys see that 11 billion crabs went missing? Yes, right? No Yeah, that was the whole thing and then of course every bit has to turn into something about Jesse Jesse the crabs, you know Yeah, I was I will say we're we're not good at fucking anything But one good thing that the goons are good at is keeping a bit going for eternity way Yes, but it's we past its prime dude. I remember we like literally in the call We're like, okay, let's ban saying a crab joke. We cannot make another crab joke Literally like we wouldn't talk we had nothing to say and like a minute later somebody would like red crab blue crab You know what else doesn't get old Ressurps true Legally speaking it does technically expire, but it won't get old metaphorically the active drinking it and giving you energy We'll never get old never ever gets old Yep, and the game never get old with the new creatine infused gamer a gamer a Gamer a I have actually been using them like every day you get a puppy You pump you feel good you look at all horse boom you're gonna Sour souls, but yeah, that's a hunk. Do you want to be a hunk? Do you want to look like that like a tank? Yeah, you want to look like a brick shithouse like the side of a fucking pencil in your house Then drink gamer aids use code goons for 10% off I Imagine the side of a pencil vanyan born just have it on which guy fendt leaning Out by just fendt leaning next to the fucking I Haven't I haven't been to pencil vanyan in a while that being said but but Philadelphia is filled with a lot of sleepy people But they're also like really busy and they're like really walk while they sleep. It's really really very tired There yeah, that's a very sleepy Extremely, you know, but there's still the guy go get her added to you They like you still like pulling themselves up by the bootstraps, but the boots you're too tight and it's like making them stand up While they're sleeping it's kind of crazy a great story like monsters ink stays with you forever and Disney Plus is where you'll find your next great story from the return of the award-winning hit series Rivals welcome to the naughtiest show on television to the unmissable crime drama high potential Got a dead body gotta go a lifetime of great stories awaits this spring on Disney Plus 18 plus subscription required teas and sees apply Yeah, it's pretty sad. I'm not gonna lie I think America has a fan to the little cringes Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not great. It's not looking good It it is weird how you like, you know, you like how the hell could anyone fucking shoot up Shit in their arm and then you're like well no one starts like that. They know it's yeah That's like that's that's the end of the fucking 20-hour monopoly game that you're playing like nobody, you know Yes, start with one thing and that's like they would I listen this might be my fucking unctake This might be my fucking but I think people that I like Smoke weed for the wrong reasons as a coping mechanism I absolutely think weed is a gateway drug like same with alcohol anything like that if you use any sort of like Substance to cope rather than just to be like, you know, I just want to relax get high and eat a bowl fucking Cheerios I'm wrong with that. But if you're like, holy fuck. I am I'm depressed. I am stressed and just whatever it is I need to get every day. Yeah, then it's like Absolutely You've used a bandaid for a bigger issue. Yeah, yeah, that might be that might be like my my fucking boomer take of the century But I honestly think it is and like I have no issue with people that smoke weed I think weed is has a good place same with alcohol. I think both of them in moderation are they're awesome, but yeah alcohol will ruin your your inhibition and and it'll just make you do say yes and To shit that normally you wouldn't say yes to so like I think alcohol is definitely a bigger gateway drug than weed because you know You could be at a party get super super drunk and then someone pulls out a bag of ketamine and goes. Hey, have you ever done cat? No, but I'll have a line, you know, everyone I know ketamine everyone. I know that has done coke Like a couple times in their lives or started getting a bad coke habit always started because they were drinking Party oh Another kind of guy would do this over all your friends you drunk on come on You know sober you up and then you do it and then you're yeah, I've never done cool. No pills. No powders Oh, yeah, I will never I honestly I hate being not sober. I like I don't mind being drunk I think drunk I enjoy every like Yeah, maybe month or two. I'll enjoy a good little drink with people. Yes. Oh absolutely with people But I I do not enjoy not being sober. I love being sober so it was the best I am Sober is like a mixed bag, you know, I don't know. I like it I enjoy being clear, you know, I Like it too when I record when I stream when I even when I do the podcast I don't like to be high because I just feel like I'm all in my head When I write if I'm writing a script or if I'm like trying to come up with jokes or something like that My concepts then yeah, it helps to be high and to like relax and being a thing like that Yeah, like fish your creativity, but yeah, I mean it is you know, I I Think I'm like one of the rare high functioning Stoners and I think everybody not think people should use me as an example of like oh He smokes weed every day and so I can smoke weed every day and be fine You know some people like smoke pot and clean their entire house and like feel great and Accomplished and good and they can do that every time. Yeah, they could be like, you know under goals under shit Like I'll smoke a ball and then I'll get to work and then other people will smoke a ball and then immediately jerk off Fuck it. I'm not doing any homework. Am I doing any work? Am I doing shit? I'm just gonna You're not really doing a bad job making it sound awful Yeah, well, I'm saying you don't get anything you don't get no you're gonna be stuck That's here. That's your life. If you're a chronic stoner and you're not like being productive I can't smoke weed and be unproductive because then I get all up in my head. Yeah, freak out about it The thing is oh my god, I'm falling off. I don't know what it is I don't know if I'm like allergic to Fucking like not being sober like if there's something in my body that doesn't work probably like my fucking Liver pancreas kidneys. I don't know what the fuck but you're anytime. I am either drunk or high I literally just fall asleep. I just want to go to bed It's crazy Like like I very rarely get super drunk usually I'll kind of like have a couple drinks because I really enjoy cocktails and Sake and stuff like that. So I will get you know, I'll get a little buzz just from enjoying those and then I'll chill I'm done But if I actually get like drunk drunk I'll be hyped for like 30 minutes and it does not matter what we're doing. It doesn't matter what the vibes are I will just fall asleep standing up. I will fall asleep anywhere. It's fucking insane It's all I got like pass out drunk like I will literally just be so tired my eyeballs refuse to stay open and Y'all didn't know this I guess because I really don't get like drunk at home or anything It's all really only when I travel so my fucking the wife of 13 years did not know that I I just go to bed when I'm too drunk and when we were in New York Where three weeks ago or so? We went to my friend Frankie owns a owns a few bars in Toronto and then opened one up in In Manhattan called bar chef and so we went there and they were hooking us up with a bunch of shots and shit So I was fucking annihilated. I was super fucking drunk and we just went back to the hotel and I didn't Brush my teeth. I didn't change. I literally kicked my boots off and just went into the bed and fell asleep And Danielle thought I was pissed at her. She didn't know why She's like, yo, are you good? Like do you need water? Like are we good? Like is everything fine? You know, do you need anything and I just apparently I don't remember this but I just rolled over Just stared at her and then just rolled back over And then like you were so drunk you thought you could beam yourself Literally, don't worry, baby. We're all good. And then like I'm going to sleep Two hours later or something. She does not like to go to bed drunk. She will stay up until she is sober It's not the right thing to do. But that's what she likes doing. I don't know why um, you know, just not very good at decision making while drunk but whatever so she was up watching something And uh, I don't know why I got so tilted I don't know if she made a noise or what it was, but I literally I again, I barely remember this. I remember waking up briefly, but I don't remember talking to her Apparently I just rolled over looked at her and was like you're almost 30 years old lock the fuck in and go to bed And I just rolled back over I don't know I don't know if I was mad at like the tv or like and I'm not an angry drunk So I don't know what the fucking deal was. I just I just went back to bed when I woke up in the morning. She's like, are we like are we good? Like are you mad at me? And I was like, no, I would have been mad at you Like we had a great night last night. She's like woke up in the middle of the night She's like, are you sure? Because you yelled at me. I was like, I didn't fucking yell at you. I just went to bed She's like, bro, it's no way. You you actually rolled over told me to lock the fuck in I It's crazy. It's crazy. It's actually pretty hilarious. It's like you're almost 30 lock in is like critical damage Yeah, no, I don't even know what she's doing like she was probably just sitting there like watching fucking random like home improvement tv Like just like watching htv or some shit. Yeah, like typical hotel room slops I don't even know what I was mad at. I just rolled over and I guess I was pissed off I'll only get like Like drunk pissed if I like had tequila. It's not that I'm about to kill her. I don't know if it's like genetic Or what but if I have like one too many tequila shots like I'll get like I'll get like, um I'll get not I'll go non-verbal but then like I'll just like twist into like a bad mood like a really serious mood. I don't like tequila drunk Yeah, maybe no tequila for you then that sounds not fun. Yeah, I'm never like that. That's why I was so surprised I yelled at her Nothing usually makes me like like I know a lot of people like whiskey Um when they get whiskey drunk they'll get like violent angry like they'll be super emotional but random things Yeah, I don't do that. I like whiskey. I like whiskey. I like uh, but yeah tequila, man I'll get fucking pissed off from tequila. It's so weird. Yeah, I I mostly drink All I do is get happy and bet more at the table. That's like the only effect Dude, I'll be good. I'll be good. I'm so You were perplexing because I watched you drink So many fucking drinks Throughout the night like because I was hammered. I kept having uh the ryan gingers and I forget where you were getting I think you were just getting you were getting vodka and vodka sprite Which time like the first time we hung out the last time we were in vegas Was that the oh just vodka red bull. I was just crushed. That's what it was vodka red bull And my heart was about to explode We sat there you and I me you in in ethan I think it was we sat at that table for probably Three hours and I left that table and was fucking Annihilated you Did not you were identical nothing if you said i'm gonna drive home. I wouldn't have stopped you you did not change Nothing was different about it. Like you you were talking completely normal. You were fine. Nothing was weird You did is crazy. You were just completely normal You do get drunk and kind of locked the fuck in it is insane Like you don't appear like you don't you don't stumble you don't show your words You don't get sloppy your modi skills go down like are you irish? Dude, um, I do I mean look at this It's in there somewhere Sorry to flashbang the viewers You're kind of blinding me dude. Yeah, I'm not bad. I don't know dude. Yeah, I um I have a higher tolerance than I anticipated because I'm not like a huge dude Yeah, no anything you way around like it right? We I feel like we're pretty much the same We're about one one 50 160. Yeah, I'm right All right. I'm I'm heavier. I'm a little heavy I'll tell you what did it was um was mead mead. So has like a slow burn effect on me Yeah, so when I went on to texas this year or this last year for ren fare Um, I had never really had mead before and every shop sells mead all of them And it's very good. It's so good Honey wine maybe honey wine I would I would go to a shop get a bottle down it be like I don't feel anything I go to another shop get another one down it. I still feel nothing about five or six bottles in That shit hit all at once and I was seeing triple And and there's a fuck ton of people that texas ren fare that was the scariest experience of my life That a ren fare would be insane. I probably started here were so many people Dude, I haven't been to a ren fair as an adult like at all. I've never been really into a rent fair like Like having had the chain mail and the helmet and everything. Yeah, you're bill for it I see people just like you all the time there swagger Then helmet is it even from like the medieval period is from the crusader period. Yeah, that's like a different era Yeah, it's not before no, that's after right. Yeah, it's before before Okay, it's like a like an 1100 1200 helmet or something I do see a lot of sunbrows solar from dark souls. Yeah It's the the flat top of the helmet is probably one of the worst designs that you could ever have on a helmet Because the crusaders would go, you know to to take back to holy land from From from like the ottomans or the turks or whatever and they go down there and they you know They send like a thousand men with these fucking flat flat top helmets And then some dude on a horse will just hit them on the head with a hammer and then break their neck and they die Just say blocking them would do a lot. It's like like that doesn't really Really doesn't disperse like the kinetic energy of being hit by something It puts it all onto your neck and then it paralyzes you and then they just fucking hit you on the ground and then you die And then they didn't know for hundreds of years to just Make it a cone because no one came back and could tell them that they all I guess it's like the yeah the survivor Yeah, survivor bias. Yeah survivor bias. Thank you of like oh look These are the spots that keep getting shot on the plane reinforce those spots But the guys who crashed into the water couldn't tell you that no, I know those spots weren't the problem Yeah, no those spots where they're coming back with those bullet holes, so it's probably not bad Probably didn't hit you should reinforce more Yeah, that's uh, you know They weren't the smartest fellows, but also I feel like they were also like mainly about aesthetic back then, you know They were kind of like this looks that's true. They were like this was all about It was bad or reforming. Have you seen some of the early like armor sets that like royalty and shit used to wear? Oh, yeah, all I had to do was wear that shit and like no one would fuck with you. Oh, dude I learned about a Louis belt. I learned about it's a Louis belt. I learned about like how actual terrible like at the In New York, they they had like a little samurai exhibit at the at the museum and I didn't understand. Oh my god, just how Terrible samurai armor is like in in popular media. You see them like Going fucking crazy and they're like doing spins and dodging shit in reality They were so like rigid because they'd be like this They could usually only use one hand and that's why that they're so like they're they're all tipped like katanas are tipped The end is where you use mainly as you know the The part to impale people and they would literally just only be able to like wiggle this arm like this That's why katanas were originally made the way they that's why like, you know, they don't hold up against like something like a Broad sword where it's meant to be swung with To samurai when they're fighting they're not going katana through katana man They got like they they'll have like big pull arms and just fucking stick it at each other's life Yeah, I mean katanas were used for a pretty brief period of time because they weren't very good The same I swapped my guns like asshole samurai's who like walked down the road And then if you didn't look at them right and you were a peasant they would just lop your fucking head off for fun Yeah, yeah, they they made they were they were like absolute dickheads. Yeah Oh, dude, it's so crazy how many things people don't like for so I don't know why In all the warriors of history they look at everyone's like, oh, yeah Every single like warrior in history would would fucking rape and pillage and steal and then they look at samurai's like They're all about respect and and kindness and taking care of no, bro. They they were They literally used to like they used to literally bring so the the like Whatever the higher up would be at whatever encampment they have if they took over somewhere They would literally cut off all the heads of all the people they killed and for like entertainment essentially They would bring them to the head honcho and let them just look at all the fucking heads that they killed Like they would just present the head on like a fucking piece of wood and be like, oh Look at that. You know what I do. You know what I do? I go. I go. Oh, thank you and I go Give me a kiss kiss them all give them all a little kiss on the head Yeah, yeah, they were not they were not you're a good boy. They were not friendly. They were not respect They didn't give a fuck I think that I think that should is fucking wasteful Because if you look at like many tribal cultures in santh america, they actually take those heads and they shrink them And they like wear them as trinkets. Yeah, they had shit stoned Have you seen a real shrunken head though? Because like did they shrink the bone, dude? Are those deboned? No, I'm pretty sure they do they take the skull out and then they like either like fill it with like a husk Or like they literally just boil it they boil it down and they tan it down and they and they make like a small little shrunk Yeah, I know that they had a little little heads That's crazy. You know, I just just having a bunch of little guys with you You just a little straight dude. It's the original laboumoo That's probably what the original the shrunken head was the original fucking laboumoo Rare laboumoo they were carrying they were carrying that shit around on their waist and the other fucking loincloths and shit They'd be like I got a blonde one. I got a blonde one. I got a white one. I got a rare black laboumoo I got a rare white white guy laboumoo That's a guy fucked up teeth. I think he's English. Haha original laboumoo is wild I would have loved to have seen a small head trading card game Just trade your trade your victims Just trading their skin just like your skin coids. Oh butt jerky Dude or ears ears trading ears ears ears What do you mean trading ears? You lock off your trading ears. You laugh or someone's ears you treat them What value can a year have? Is that valid as a fucking Charizard have? It's cool. It's red Yeah, well, could be a red here this this earlobe this fucking earlobe has a birthmark on it. This earlobe has an earring I pulled the w Charizard the other day, but You see here's me bragging about it. Pull the w ear W have a cauliflower ear. That's not it. That's an ale ear. That's a gross. That's like a PSA Yeah, that's PSA one I feel like if you took down a man and cut his ear off and it was a cauliflower ear, then it would be Yeah, no, that's a bit of a like it like it like a big like a big Yeah, the native americans Wasn't the native americans that would take ears Was it like the the pioneers would kill native americans and take their ears as like I actually don't know I didn't even know anybody was that interested in ears to be honest I thought it was a whole thing of like Would chop your dick off and put it in your mouth after they killed you Yeah, but the italians do that too Uh, we probably aren't you italian? Yeah Well one of two out of three of goons ancestors did that Well, I can't count the euroms though. I don't know what we're doing bro. Who the fuck knows what they did Yeah, we're doing whatever the hell We're busy making kibby I was doing some some reading like earlier this week and last week on like native american tribes and shit Like the comanche and like, you know those kinds of things and dude like this whole idea like that you're kind of taught as like a youngster and in media and shit that like The native americans were all peaceful and they were all holding hands and they were also getting kumbaya around a campfire And then you're all sharing the land Complete bullshit dude like Complete actual shit. Oh, we're doing like I'm pretty sure the first school shooting in america was done by native americans with bows and arrows. Let's go I mean like setting the trend. I can you really can you imagine hanging out? You and your family has lived on this land peacefully. No issues. You're killing fucking deer. Probably not peacefully Probably not peacefully within within reason you're not you know, there's no like There's no fighting within your tribe. Yeah, you're beefing with other tribes. But you're chill. Yeah, they're like, yeah There's always there's always land scuffles But can you imagine both of you their tribes over there your tribes over here? You guys got beef whatever but you stay in your spots, you know that past big oak number five is theirs Big oak number four is mine. We mind our business and then some white guys roll up and we're like they're like Hey, we're bros and then they give you smallpox and shoot your family I'm The dick is coming off but they gave you wampum. They gave you wampum first Yeah, I'm probably gonna eat their esophagus in front of their family Now I'm gonna go fucking fair. They gave you shells. I'm just gonna give you purple shells. I don't need to be a weapon I'm just gonna use my fucking fingers. I'm gonna just start grabbing shit. Just tear it off you I don't have you heard. I don't blame him one. Have you have you heard the the aztec Native who had both his hands trapped on like conquistadors and he fucking like He he like strapped blades to his fucking hands. That's so tough. That's so sad and then fucking came back and like And killed a bunch of people with him. That's just come tell me with fucking They gave that guy the sickest origin story of all time. They created a dog a demon because the thing is Because the thing is here's here's was the crazy poisons They captured him because he did something and they said, you know, we we're gonna cut off your dominant hand Probably stealing right and and and what and what something like that and what he did is he offered his other hand without saying a word Just both of his hands. He just offered them both and just looked at them He's like you're only making me stronger right now. They're like, we only want one hand. He goes take the other I don't need it. I don't need it. Yeah, I only jerk with the hand you're taking so you might as well take this one Dude, oh, that's a shame. It's really wouldn't wouldn't be able to joke with the other one But but if you have two nubs surely if you kind of like You know, you could probably you could probably nub it out Yeah, you should be careful that is too callous nub job Read some real fucking horrific shit of like What the natives would do if they captured like an enemy tribe tribesmen who are like a pioneer like yeah Everyone knows the whole like, you know, you bury a guy up through his neck and you cover him in honey and let the ants eat him Yeah, or the whole thing like yeah, we're just gonna like, you know, we'll fucking drown you or or like you're our slave until like we want to kill you or whatever They should that happens when you fall asleep first at the sleepover Straight up. There was one that I read that like made me so nauseous Where it's they cut off your arms and your legs and then they throw your torso On a hot bed of coals and then laugh while you wriggle around and squirm. That's crazy. Like that was there. That was their entertainment I got a book. I forget the name of the book right now off the top of my head. I got a book you would love It's basically just a full book on like crazy torture and shit. Um, oh, I don't know if I ever told you about uh Do we ever talk about the I know we talked about it without you, but the uh, I think it's called peony coolly talking about the Yoni cool. I might be mispronouncing it. It's like it's ancient roman. Um So it was specifically a punishment um Hopefully I got this right. I believe it was a punishment for people who killed their own dad and I've heard yeah, what they would do is they would sew you a monkey A snake a rooster and a dog I believe it were the animals into a big leather sack and then not only would you all be in the sack? But like everyone would be chill. Maybe you're getting along in the sack. Maybe you're hanging out I don't think anyone's No, nobody's not fun But just to make sure nobody's having fun in the sack They would dunk the sack in water and it would they would put it in the water So all the animals would start drowning and just are freaking freaking out. Oh, they just throw them in the river Yeah, they would just start ripping you in half and like a mosh attack by roosters and snakes and the monkeys ripping you In half and there's just a dog in there for some reason. I probably didn't do anything wrong Yeah, it was crazy. Yeah, honestly Oh the fuck came up with that I don't know. I feel like one of them just smoked like a like a honey backwood and was like, all right Some guy fucking ate some dude ate like fucking the wrong mushroom and was coming up with the idea for the thing He goes, you know We could put him in a sack and dunk him, but I have this rooster that's kind of an asshole I'm meaning to get rid of and I also found this snake in my garden that's They keep they keep scaring me and I have this stupid mud of a dog They want to get rid of and and fuck this monkey too You know, I just throw them on the sack and we'll call it a day and then somebody was like No, well for no one's doing that. I have all these things If you see that fucking zookeeper, dude, if you see that happen to somebody How do you as a potential future criminal look at that and go? I think it's still worth it to kill my dad. What is your dad? Dude, my dad could fuck my little ass for the next three years every day And I don't think I would kill him if it meant I'm getting put in the sack with the monkeys Yeah, that's a crazy sentence all the way through by the way, but But it makes perfect sense. You get what I'm saying. There was another one. What was the other one the upright joker I thought was really funny just based off the name Um, right? Yeah, so essentially they would like He would literally have it on It was basically like a almost a trebuchet style thing Except instead of launching you you would always be attached to it So it would go ping and you would be on the other side So you would and you'd be tight it'd be tied around your neck. Oh, so it's like a no So you fucking just like like You would fling through the air and just in case getting flung through the air with a broken neck wouldn't kill you It would dunk you in the water. They love dunk and shit What the fuck they love that shit they love just drown them bro people in the water Like you could have just skipped a middleman and just drowned him. Why did we have to fling them into the water and mock fuck off like Because how else will we keep the masses entertained? Imagine if we had public executions or public paintings I actually think we should bring them back. I've been I've been public executions You call it museum as well. I've been on that for a while honestly I really think that we could we could go back to that there's like actually already a really nice perfectly laid-out list That of people that that we should probably do that too It's all Is a lot of black squares right now, but Are we close your eyes? You can see are we are we talking gilleteen? No, I'm talking like like so into a monkey sack like let's get creative with it again, you know Like that's okay We bring Yeah, apparently we should put a hundred people from that list in a pin with a gorilla and run that experiment Man, did you know the whole tauren feathering used to be like part of a protest where they'd cover a dude and like tauren feathers And it was supposed to be like ha ha ha ha you're a chicken now But what they would actually do is strip a guy naked and pour like Like boiling hot tar All over his body and then the feathers So that the tar would be like burnt onto their skin and they can't take it off without ripping their skin off And back then there was no like Rubbing alcohol to take Is that the prank? Well, it was ha ha you're a chicken now Like you know tauren feathering public humiliation was supposed to be like, you know Covering a dude and glue and feathers was like the idea but like no it was like horrifying Yeah, really turning a guy into a chicken. I mean there was the one. I don't know if it was ever actually used Uh, I believe it's called the iron bowl and I think it was actually Oh, it was used it was used the bronze I thought there was like a whole thing that it wasn't it wasn't ever actually used But we're going yeah, they used to just put them in with the fucking just boiling water inside of this big Whatever bronze bowl it was it was it was it was it was it was sometime in the like the roman period I'm pretty sure there was a Some dude was made this bronze bowl is a giant bronze bowl And it had a trap door in it that you would walk into and the whole idea is that the inside was hollow And that there were acoustics that went up through the throat and then out of the nose of the bronze bowl So if you made a noise that you screamed inside of it It would it would it would vibrate inside and it would make the bowl move and make it go Or whatever. Yeah, okay And so What they would do what the what the guy who designed it is pitching it to the emperor saying So what would happen is, you know, you take a guy and you put him into the bowl And then you light a fire underneath it and then it'll start getting hot And then as the guy gets cooked alive inside of the bronze bowl He'll scream and then the screams will make the the the bowl That's crazy. And it would probably steam out of the nose too if you're boiling a guy 100 percent 100 percent. It was part of the thing And so the emperor said I don't believe that a human can fit in there And then the guys said well, let me demonstrate and then he gets in and then the emperor closes it behind him and lights it on fire And then he experiences the bronze bowl for the first time With the guy who invented inside Getting cooked alive. That's lord That's the lord. Wow. That's insane There's That's how you can that's how you made the segue. Oh, yeah, he claims on the segue. I love it The guy who made the segue. This is a good one We're probably talking about this boy the guy who made the segue wanted to prove to everybody that he could stop on a dime The brakes were really good on the segue So to demonstrate this he went up to the edge of a cliff and rode full speed towards the edge of this cliff And to prove that he could break on a dime right before the edge of the cliff He rode right off of the edge of the cliff and fucking hide Can you imagine just being in his homie being like yeah, I watch this I seem to do it. I seem to Why why why why you do it? Yeah, this is like This invention is sick, bro. It is yeah, it's gonna do numbers, baby I remember the what was the show thousand ways to die or something like that million ways to die I don't know what the show was um But there was a guy that like it was uh, I don't know if you see or whatever he worked at he worked at some Big ass corporation and he was trying to prove to like or trying to show off He would invite people to do his office to show off like how strong the windows are the window. Yeah, I need like Chairs at it. He'd like do every throw coffee cups. He'd run run up to it And uh, yeah, and apparently one time he threw a he threw his chair And it hit at a right spot where a very small portion of the chair hit it I.e putting all of its weight into a very small point That's a lot of you know, that's a lot of uh a lot of weight and one small amount of surface area So it left like a little quick a micro fracture within the glass and uh, I don't know. I think I Remember again, I'm sure the show dramatized it. Um, hey, watch this Yeah, but I remember it being like an intern went there and he was trying to show how cool the office is And he just was like, yeah Watch how strong these windows are and he just fucking killed himself just jumped right out the window Jump straight through the window. I'm like Highways build That's dude that's look how cool this job is It fucking kills himself. Would you imagine dude that that's peak you're scaring the hose away I would work to as an intern. I would as an intern have to say hey look I think it's only fair when you take this guy's office. Yeah, no, I think so honestly like It's like you had a job opening We're looking for a new cfo Yeah, you know, that's just uh I don't care how much I trust something like I trust that if I got in an accident my car would protect me I don't want to test that I just i'm gonna take their word for it. It's the same thing as like You know, you take a word you take somebody's word that you know the fucking uh, something's flame retardant You don't test it, you know, you know, I there's no point. Just don't bother. We're good. I get it. It works I don't understand why he needed to jump into the window for the hose Yeah, and it wasn't even if we're like a female intern No, I was I feel like I remember it being a female intern because they really dialed in on it being like he was like, uh, you know Like a womanizer, but again, you're trying to again. This was like 15 years ago So I might be misremembering and also that show probably took a real story and then made it way up here like Oh, yeah I remember I loved a show probably Why I'm so fucking Yeah, there's some that's sticking my head so vividly for some reason like the guy in the hot I was scared of hot dogs for so long because I don't even know what caused it But in the show Again, this guy was in the hot dogs with some with some hose and was like, hey, what's up, baby? And he like leaned on a something on a weird angle And it was like a tv producer or some shit and it like sucked his intestines. I was asked Whoa, and I don't it was it was on a thousand when's the bad part start Well, he died Oh, so he couldn't take it. No, he couldn't take you. Okay. He was not a he was not a good power bottom That's crazy. I remember one of the dude Remember one of the dude who put out a slip and slide But he put it out after doing construction and then there was one singular nail that was sticking up on this No, no And then he goes down it and it's and it sliced him all the way through and then like disemboweled him as he went into the pool It was that one which stuck with me for a while That was struggling me for a long time Then there was the wind of like the two kids that went into the the helium filled tent and then got asphyxiated and died Uh, because they thought it was like oh helium was gonna make you sound I remember that sounded dumb as shit when they were pie and tin I remember one that Just walking by that Yeah, you're like you're like the hell like you were Calvin and the chipmunks are being slaughtered in there. There birds in there. What the fuck? I remember one that I'd know ended up being true and I don't remember the full story of it. Um, put this guy He obviously got shot up his butthole and died and it was Somehow like we've all been there. It was somehow somebody shooting their gun up in the air to celebrate something Like very far away and he leaned over and was at the right angle where when that bullet fell It came in at like a weird trajectory and went straight up his ass and he died and that is like actual lore I You know, I'll look into that full story again because I remember all of the details of it being so insane that it's like this is not real But it is it is an actual thing that happened. I've seen some shit like They do like a whole ballistics breakdown or like freak accidents at gun ranges where like a dude will shoot But it'll go like a half inch over the berm and it'll go like like two miles down the range into another into another building Through like a gap in the sheet metal and then hit a guy in the fucking head and kill him Yeah, yeah, I remember that one. Didn't that get caught on video? The guy that got hit by that Yes, I'm pretty sure it was on security footage inside of a building. It may have been Yeah, because I remember that one. It was like it was in a european country where like you're allowed I think it was it was like it was like switzerland anything switzerland. Yeah, I know I remember I specifically remember that I don't remember the exact details, but I do remember something vaguely about that It's never fucking it's never nice to see a video a dude getting like Fucking a big head trauma. It's it's crazy. It's always wild Like I've seen way too many of those videos. I did mocap yesterday for for a for a music video that I've been putting out Uh, yeah, and it required some mocap for like animations. Oh, yeah, like one of those animations was like, um Like somebody like, you know getting killed in a game So like it's a whole like video game part of the video And so like, you know, it's just goblin and the whole idea is like the goblin gets fucking hurt or whatever So I'm in this mocap suit As a goblin and they're like, all right You're like running away and then you like say you get hit in the head with a hammer like I literally I literally did one of these No, you fucking hit the the fucking yeah, what's the fencing position when you get brain damage I I Yeah, you just to courticate and I hit one of those and dude it looked so fucking hilarious like this Low poly govlin's running away and then it just all of a sudden it's like a super realistic like head head head trauma pose And he's like shaking That's so fucking funny. That's wrong. Dude. Yeah, it's like It's crazy how So morbid but it's crazy how different seeing an actual video somebody getting shot versus like Movies and games stuff when you see somebody Yeah, dude, they literally just collapse like it literally just looks like somebody turns drama Yeah, the only fucking movie the only movie I've seen do that correctly with shindler's list I don't think I've ever actually seen shindler's list. That's all I tried to watch it a long time ago Is really bad movie is really bad. I fell asleep. I fell asleep during fell asleep during shindler's list Or it's playing some black and white. I remember I was home sick And I didn't know what the movie was about at all. I had no idea and uh, my parents just had a dvd of it And it was like this cool big silver case of it. And I was like I don't know for all you know Yeah, you knew shindler's list was the group was for showing up at the grocery Yeah, or like the list of his friends. He's bringing to disney world. Sure. Let's watch it and I put it on now I was like wow, this is this is really This is really something and then I went to bed Yeah, that's that's pretty wild. You weren't drunk or anything. Were you a kid? No, no, I was a kid. No, I was like 15 It's fell asleep in the middle of like watching a movie about like one of the biggest tragedies and we watched that in school That's insane. We watched iron rain. We literally watched that in school We watched that in school We also watched footage of like the 9 11 terrorist attacks like in school. Oh my god. That's crazy All right, I have I talked about losing the podcast before I don't think so I might have I remember I remember very very clearly at being like the eighth grade Sam of the eighth grade and it was like, you know, 9 11 day September 11th, and we're like, you know, never forgetting the entire day and you know, we're Every single class we're like watching Videos about it and should I remember being in history class and they literally put on this video of like it shows like the Play-by-play and it was the whole hour of play by play It was like, you know, 90 Sharpie like It's like, yeah, it's like 9 a.m. Everyone's going to work everyone's in the north tower He's like the plank is hijacked and there's like the dramatization of something happens And then you see the footage and then you see the people jumping out of the fucking buildings And then you see all the volume jumping shit the worst Yeah, and then you see all they should and then everyone everyone in the class is getting upset and angry And then everyone's tuning their head at like the three brown kids, you know, that are like Middle eastern passing and I I always felt bad for them because they didn't do that shit And nothing to do it And nothing to do it If they showed the footage and they're like, yeah No celebration, but man, they were catching fucking Shrays, bro. It's wild. They're showing this shit to like fucking 10 year olds That's insane. Like why are you showing 10 year olds fucking people dying dude? Like that's a wild I understand like I understand like, you know, there's horrible tragedies that happen in the entire world And that we need to learn about them so that they don't repeat But do we need to teach a fucking nine year old about the Holocaust like do we? Yeah, I don't think like Do we have to start? At eight or nine, I feel like maybe like Like 13 13 to 13 somewhere in there where it's like bro. They have two paths They could kind of start to veer down, you know, I wasn't even sentient at nine. You could tell me that shit I'm like when research. Yeah, I I remember so vividly being nine years old in elementary school in a Holocaust survivor who was like 95 Came came to talk to us during during like like our lunch and you know, he was having this whole thing talking about like, you know, and I'm not I'm not detracting from his story or anything. It was you know, it was whatever talking about You know how he was young and how he was on the train going to I think it was either decal or it was it was ashwitz one of the two fucking horrible concentration camps and he was on the train and it was super super cold and he was like Talking about it to a bunch of nine year olds about how, you know, it was so cold that they all peed on their hands to keep warm and then everyone went Like that and it's just like yeah, I remember that so vividly like how how are most Yeah, like how you know, it's just like your peepee hands. It was like that's what the that's what the nine year olds were able to take away from that discussion Was it was peepee hands and that was the thing they had stuck and it's just like I don't know maybe nine year olds don't have the capacity to like Digest tragedy. No, they don't I don't think on a level enough where it's hearing about somebody else's tragedy like it was like damn that sucks like Yeah, like when I was in peepee on your hands, that's fucking gross. Yeah Yeah, I was in second grade. It's all they absorbed I was in second grade when 9 11 happened and the teacher pulled us over into the corner and explained it to us and I was like Who cares? Why you didn't ask bitch, what are you telling me this shit for? Now were you in school when the challenge you're exploded? No, it's not that was 1989 Oh Damn you think I'm uncle I don't remember I should know I literally just talked about it in a in a fucking video I talked about uh how our brains are really bad at recalling things Fun story about that about the challenger explosion. There was a professor Um at the time and he had I think it was 92 or 96 students something like that And he gave them all questionnaire right after the challenger explosion was like hey um Who were you with what were you doing? What were your initial thoughts? Um yada yada some basic questions you should be able to recall, you know, most people should have a pretty uh pretty good memory of um And then about a year and a half later. He wrangled up the same students and he gave them the same questionnaire and Their accuracy out of seven was like an average of three But their confidence was a five out of five So they were fully confident that they would have the same answers for both Uh on both questionnaires, but they like they were like three out of seven Like they weren't even close to like being Memories are so chalked like even after a year a year and a half our recollections and memories are so Like inaccurate. It's actually crazy. Yeah, it was a super interesting study something that you actually were interested in Yeah, I mean just like you'd think like because they use the challenger explosion as like dude like everyone that like That's like asking even us like that was what 9 11 was what 25 fucking years ago something like that Yeah, 25 years ago Whoa this year. Yeah 25 years ago. Um, like Wow, I in my head could very vividly remember what I was doing when that happened, but I'm sure Like I'm I would say a five confidence level, but I'm sure in reality I actually have no recollection what I was actually probably doing versus what I think I was doing probably weren't even close So yeah, that study was crazy. Holy fuck. Yeah, really cool. It's crazy. Yeah, so show challenger explosion I guess for giving us a cool cool scientific study out of it It's over life. No of all of all of the tragedies the challenger explosion probably you know Wasn't you know, it was I'm all stuck and helped progress science. I'll say that it made sure I was gonna say everyone after that was far safer I was about to say it it paved the way for a lot of uh double checking And triple checking they do that it was yeah, it's a bit of a bit of a way to call It was it was an o-ring That guy yes that that that that cooled down and then Like it cooled down to like sub zero temperatures and then it re expanded and then just Something like that. I believe it was like yeah some sort of composite material. I can't remember exactly what happened But yeah, it was something like that no ring or some sort of joint Isn't that fucking so Shit that you can have like a giant rocket ship and if you just have one little point Yeah, like 99.99 9% of everything working fine And then just like this little piece of rubber just breaks in half and you're like Kind of blow up in here teacher Yeah, blow up a teacher. They did do that. That's like the last person on earth already teachers teachers already have shitty enough jobs You know what that was still better than dealing with little snotty kids She was probably about to blow up. He's like, oh, this is so much better than work today If you if if would okay, would you have okay? Well, I just had two completely different hypotheticals flopped in my head I'll do what the one first would you rather blow up in a rocket or fucking die in that submersible that like titanic Rock it 100% rocket rocket rocket Uh, well the submersible was instant though and they probably didn't even know what happened though No, they had no idea but I wouldn't want to be in there leading up to it. So I'll say the rocket You want it. You want you want the excitement of of dying see I think I think I like What each of them you only die once what each of them separately represented like the the the challenge was like we are This is the next frontier. This is what's next for the human species. We we we have conquered, you know the land Let's see what's beyond you know, and then you've got billion air going to heaven Yeah, the other guys were just like I have a billion dollars. Let's just go see the titanic. I don't know Like let's up the titanic skill count. It's kd. It's still getting killed It's like you're trying it's like the difference between trying to ascend into heaven and like Going to the depths of hell. Yeah, like, you know, I'm all about like more more, you know ocean exploration We only know like 32 of the ocean maybe with a robot, bro. Maybe with a robot Yeah, like let's stick me in a fucking job. That's not what they were going down there They weren't like we are conquering new frontiers. They're like, let's go see an old boat that killed a lot of guys All right, like Why it's a side quest because they've completed their main quest You're looking at a hole this big the whole What the fuck are you doing? I don't know. I don't know stupid whatever fuck those guys now And my second question if you were a teacher What grade would you teach? Probably grade probably probably nine. So like first year high school something later for sure I think first year high school because I feel like they're they're scared and malleable because they're the they went from being big fish To now they're the little fish, but they're also like At a pretty key point in their time where I feel like you can actually make a difference in their lives And you could be the teacher that they think about in 10 15 years Yeah, ninth grade I think 10th grade is better because ninth grade you still have the the late bloomers Who are you getting over the the the rest of their hormones? Yeah by the time they're in 10th grade like they're pretty much already through that Shit, yeah a little bit more locked in they don't have all any anxiety of like, you know Need to like make it a social life and be yeah, I just feel like by grade 10 though some of them can like They've already gone down that fuck-ass path and it's like you can't do anything about a grade nine because they're like Whoa, I scared grade 12. You're like, yeah, fuck you. I'll show you how to not be a little scared piece of shit You know you could like you could actually you know, especially as You know, if you're a male teacher you could look at someone who's clearly an insecure You know Little goblin male who would fall down like the alt-right andrew tape pipeline and instead you can teach him how to actually be A guide instead of being you know, man this this internet cool man You could you could show him, you know what it's like to be uh, you know intelligent well-mannered responsible emotional all those good things Now what subject would you teach? Science, but that's because I like science I do science or I do history history would be fun too Man, I'm probably tired probably science Yeah, I would probably get fired. I I feel like being a teacher would be something that I'd really like to do like in like my retirement years Yeah, when I when I have all my experience when I have like all of the You know all of like the knowledge of like my career or whatever and then I could take that like go to become like a college professor Is that thing and then just spend the rest of your days So kind of passing your knowledge off and making connections with the new regeneration and shit I think would be pretty good There's a lot of teachers that go into it and it's like it's their only job It's their only passion and it's like what they need to do But they end up taking it so seriously that like they can't enjoy it They they don't find the value in it it like they burn out They hate it But I feel like if you go into it being like I don't actually care if I you know keep this job or not and like You know, I'm doing it for like my own passions. Yeah, I just want to do whatever I can do passions Yeah, and then and then you know You don't really have to give a shit if a guy is you know If a kid is rude to you and you just kind of dismiss them and you know, you don't have to wrap yourself around the axle I've had like teachers straight up like Go right in the face like screaming at a student as if to discipline them and they the student doesn't give a single fuck No, like they're already Doesn't matter Why do you think the rallying clanks? You like you think they give a shit if you like you're a teacher screaming at them and like yelling at them in their face You don't think they're fucking mom and their dad does answer them all the time And that's why I kid that I kid that that much of like an idiot that's gonna cause a teacher to do that like that's just You just go you just go hey, bro. I need you get I'm Oh, you're not going through I guess. Okay. I'll call up the security guard. It doesn't matter It doesn't fucking matter to me Like yeah, I've dude. I wanted to be a teacher for a really long time when I was younger and then I realized that I really fucking hate kids. So I that part I would I would be all right with it as long as they were like young adults Yeah, like I can't get along with children obviously because you know, they're they're fucking children Yeah, and I just find them detestable and almost every level One of my one of my good buddies actually he was an engineer the last two or so years and He liked it pay was really really good and there's a ton of career opportunities Especially around where we live where there's a lot of like car industry and stuff But he just had such an underlying passion for teaching that he went back to school and Does not he's not an engineer anymore. He just started teaching now. So he's a full-on teacher Literally took like a half a half his salary what he was making before but now he's like dude I feel like I can actually like help kids and you know be like the teacher that I loved when I was a kid like Exactly. Yeah, that is I don't know. I love that. That's like the coolest shit ever to me It is really fucked up that the the wages are so Oh, dude, they're fucking horrendous But it's not even like you get paid a good wage for like In general, it's like you're only it's like it's teachings are fucking part-time gig You have the the whole summer off Yeah, so like what do you do? What are you doing this summer? And it's like well, you know, you're only working nine months out of the year And then how much you're even making and then all the stress on top of you have to design your own curriculum And then you have to buy shit for your class so expenses come out of the curriculum that you design It's like completely completely fucked up. You think there'd be more of like a government subsidy, but no they have to unionize No, bro 1.5 Fucking trillion to the military We don't need teachers. Um, we don't need teachers. We need more call of duty We need more gamer subs using code goons. You get 10% off Anything on gamer subs website go get yourself some crusader rate some grandmas or grandpa's ashes And if you are into lifting or brain health, make sure you go try out gamer Ain't nobody into brain health watching this shit No, ain't nobody if your fucking brain is deteriorated substantially from consuming many episodes of the goons play guys That make you repair yourself some one gamer and repair it Repairs one goons podcast. They even out. Yep. It's it's all right. You better buy about 250 then It's the yin and yang grand our gamer subs flavor will fucking kill you but gamer aids will revive you Through take them at the same time and nothing Do not take about the same time Dude, you're gonna get you're gonna hurt yourself and others You're not Download on Spotify like on youtube subscribe you can comment on that Next week actually we should have a juicy episode next week. Maybe I'll bring dallas on the podcast I'm going to vegas with uh with uh a bunch of the with clueless most of clueless pez is not coming um Then uh dallas ethans smitty Uh, mcnasty was supposed to come but he's covered now, but we're going to a ufc fight. I don't know apparently we have like six ringside tickets I don't know if i'm included in that or if i'm not ringside. I have no idea so regardless We should have some good stories. So we'll bring dallas on and we'll uh, we'll have a game time I can't fucking wait. Yep. All right. Thanks for listening. That's it. 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