We all need advice, but it's not always clear who to ask, even in 2026. Sometimes even I don't know where to go for advice, which is why I recommend checking out How To, the long-standing advice show, and 2026 Ambi Award-nominated Best Personal Growth podcast. It's hosted by my friend and award-winning journalist Mike Peska. You might be familiar with Mike's work on the just the longest running daily news podcast. Each week on How To, Mike tackles a listener question, including one of mine, ranging from mental health and finance to relationships and beyond. And he gets help from world-class experts who actually know what they're talking about. Think of it as eavesdropping on someone else's therapy session without the copay or the awkward silence or the stairs. No question is too big or too specific. I was happy again to appear in a recent episode of How To, focused on the topic of how to emigrate as a threpple. How To is a great companion to our show and you will learn something new listening to How To. I always learn something new every time I listen to Mike. So follow How To with Mike Peska on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts, and let him know the Lovecasts send you. You're listening to After Action Report at Savage.Love. Welcome to After Action Report, where callers tell me stories of their new sexual experiences. Last week, we heard from a woman who experienced something she didn't like at all. And this week, we're going to hear from Lewis who experienced something I wouldn't like at all. If you want to hear what makes me, Dan Savage, uncomfortable, squeamish, squirmy, just keep listening. Lewis, welcome to After Action Report. Hey, thanks, Dan. It's great to be here. So tell me about you. Who are you? Position yourself, situate yourself for the listeners. Who is Lewis? I am a man in my 50s and I live on the East Coast. And I am Polly Emmeres. Been so for the past few years. I have a wife, a girlfriend, and some other partners as well. People can't see you because we don't use video for After Action Report. I can see you. Being Polly must keep you young. You do not look like you're in your 50s. Oh, well, thank you. I appreciate that. So what is it that you did? What did you try? Well, someone who I played with once told me about this thing called Liquid Love. And it sounded amazing to me. It goes by several names. I think now the official organization is called Touch and Play. But this was not sponsored by that organization. It was just someone in their house was sponsoring an event. And what it was is it's an event where you get down to your level of nudity that you're comfortable with. Most of us were naked. And we got in someone's basement, we lay down on the floor that was covered in tarps. It covered us with oil, blindfolded us, and then we rolled around each other for the next hour. How many people total were in this serial killers basement? There was 16 of us. It turned out to be eight men, eight women, and I'm bi, so I was happy to roll over everyone. And it's called Liquid Love, not slip and slide? I guess you can call it whatever you want to call it. I googled Liquid Love, and it seems like there's events in London, Berlin, many major cities, but this is in a smallish place that someone in there was offering. And it wasn't someone who I hadn't known before. This is by invitation only, so it's not like I just randomly answered a Craigslist ad or something like that. He only invites people that he knows or connected to, so I met him at a festival, he vetted me and got to know me, and then he said he'd be happy to invite me to his house. A festival where they burn a man? No, no, it was actually a Tantra festival. Oh, okay, okay. Usually when someone's at a festival and something like that, it's like all roads lead back to Burning Man, except this experience. Why did you want to do this? Why did you want to be naked and covered in oil and blindfolded in a basement on a tarp rolling over 15 strangers? Why not? I can make a list of why not. I have a long list of why I wouldn't want to do that. You're not a big fan of public nudity. I'm an exhibitionist for one. When I started getting into poly, I went to a lot of touch-based events where cuddle parties or sensual parties where you could make out with people, and there was a lot of touch involved, and I found that I really enjoyed that. So I'm a cuddle slut or sensation freak. I really like touch, and I enjoy meeting new people and consensually touching new people, and I find that really exciting. So when I heard about this event, I thought, if I get an invitation, I am going. This is going to be something I'm going to do. We, the two of us here together, having this conversation, a perfect example of different strokes for different folks, because this thing, a cuddle party, oh my god, I'd rather go to Turning Point USA and have to sit in the front row. The scene that you described that you wanted to talk about here in After Action Report, if Dante designed a pit in hell just for me, it would be that guy's basement with 15 strangers covered in oil, sliding around on top of each other. But that's your jam. It is definitely my jam. I go with my wife or other partners to kink events, but I look for the people who are interested in sensuality and like to be touched, feather play, very light touch, that kind of thing. I'm not an impact person or pain person, but light sensation play, that's my jam. So something like this was really exciting. Now, part of the, do you want me to go over the rules of what they explain? Yeah, yeah, yeah, tell us all about it. Yeah, so we first met in his basement all with clothes on and he kind of went over consent, and the rules of the event. And the rules of the event were that no one had to get naked, you can get down to the level of new to the era comfortable with. I think everyone at the end of the event was totally naked. So I would have been in one of those deep sea diving suits from the 30s with a screw on helmet. No, the outer space one. Right. Well, you probably wouldn't even, you would have heard that and just read out the house running. But he went over the rules of consent and most of the events that I've been to verbal consent is really important. Like, you don't touch someone on their shoulder or their elbow without saying, Hey, can I touch your arm or your leg or whatever? You get very explicit consent. Well, we're going to be blindfolded. So we couldn't even see who we were touching. And we're going to be covered in oils. We're going to be bumping it against each other anyway. So he encouraged us to reach out to people kind of with the back of your hands. You're not like groping people. But also, it was a quiet event. So we're going to not talk to people and ask for consent. We were just kind of rub into people. If they would roll away from us, well, then we didn't, we didn't have their consent. If they would roll toward us, then it seemed like they would want more and then we could try to to move in such ways that we would be rolling over each other or touching each other more. The other thing is it wasn't a sexual event. So like, there was no penetration. You weren't allowed to stick generals in each other. The rule was no like stroking of each other. So, you know, no one was jerking each other off. No one wanted to seem in mixed up in this, this oily space. You don't want to have too many fluids in there. I could see there being an accidental emission. I don't know. I don't, I don't, I don't think so. And boners were forbidden, right? Definitely not. I had a boner the whole time. So, so it was, it was great. So I was very turned on. They would have had to open my chest cavity to find my deck. It would have been pulled so far. It had no body, which is not to shame you or your pleasure in this. It's just like, no, it was amazing. Things that I enjoy that I'm sure would send you running to the hills and just like vice versa, different strokes for different folks. When it was just the 16 of you before the event started and you were looking around the room, were you like down to touch all of these people? Or is there a certain way in which this touch is different? It's sensual, but not necessarily sexual or erotic. It's communal. Is it a sibling hood of touchy, touchy bodies? It kind of depends how people respond. So, we all started, you know, rolling into each other. We all lay down in a circle, faces towards the center. So our feet were all sticking out. And once we were blindfolded and covered in oil, we were encouraged to slowly start moving towards each other and finding people that would want us to touch each other. And it started going pretty quickly, started accelerating pretty quickly, so that people were very receptive to very sensual touch, which means that you might start grazing boobs or you might start grazing genitals. You know, weren't stroking anybody, but if you happened to come across a dick or pussy or some boobs, you could kind of roll gently over them. Using the back of your hand, so like flippers. Using the back of your hand at first, but then if someone wanted, you know, or seemed to want, you could then start caressing with the front of your hand. So this was a by event. You weren't the only by person there. And it was sort of like implicit in the experience that men would be touching men's bodies and women would be touching men's bodies, and men and women would be touching each other's bodies. Exactly. Although I got to say, it sounds like the rules that had to be made explicit for this mixed group of men and women down for a by or by light experience. The rules remind me of the rules of the gay dark room, whereby entering you have consented to some degree of touch. If somebody reaches out and touches even a dark room and you don't particularly want that person touching you, you're not feeling, you don't want to get touched right now, you just want to soak up the vibe, you move their hand away from you, but they haven't violated you by initiating that first touch because you were in that sex. Yeah, exactly. And the same thing applies to this basement in this house. You never know what's going on in the house. You can walk by a million houses in the suburbs. You never know what's good. For all you know, you walk by a house and there are 16 people blindfolded, driving around in what was it? Motor oil, canola oil, seed oil, coconut oil, warm coconut oil. Not beef tallow, so we know that RFK Junior wasn't there. No, no, definitely. And in worst case scenario, if you didn't like the touch, they said just do a double tap on the hand, just like tap the hand twice, and that way the person would back up and back off. And it was cold. You didn't know anybody else there. You were invited and there was nobody there you knew. Well, I knew the host and I knew maybe two other people. I had seen two other people maybe from that festival where I met the host at. So it wasn't like, oh my God, Uncle Marv. It wasn't like that kind of knowing since the party. But there's other people that I had seen in another sexual context. So good experience or bad experience? It was a bad experience for me. I want to center myself here. A bad experience for me vicariously, but for you in actuality, was it a good experience? It was amazing. So one of the interesting things that happened was, I was blindfolded so I couldn't see who I was interacting with necessarily, but people's bodies are different. And I started getting to realize some of the people who I was interacting with. And there was one woman in particular who we kept on finding each other. And when she realized it was me, she kept on pulling me on her. And so I interacted with her a good maybe 20 or 30 minutes out of the event, such that when we finished, we were next to each other and kind of cuddled with each other at the end, we were very much into each other. So at the end of the event, you were all supposed to shower off. I was going to ask you how this, everybody walks into the yard and gets sprayed down with an industrial hose. How do you clean this up? Yeah. So he said, everyone, go, don't get oil all over his house, but you would go into one of the bathrooms and shower off. So I invited this woman to shower off with me. And she thought that was amazing that I had invited her. And we kind of like made out in the shower a little bit together, which is really fun. And then- While five people are banging on the door saying, hurry up in there. We're like, whoa, you're so ugly. Well, there's two other showers, so it was fine. But I got her number and we were flirting ever since afterward. And now she's one of my friends with benefits. The two last questions we always ask kind of don't apply here. Would you do it again? Obviously, yes. I can't wait for another invitation. I was traveling, so I was not able to go to the last two events, but I'm hoping to go to maybe an event next month. And we always ask people for tips that you would share with anyone who might want to try this. If your dance savage don't come. I'll ruin the vibe for everyone. People would be sliding toward my body and I would be so tense. The oil would congeal around me and it would just ruin the whole party. Yeah. But if you like sensual touch, this is definitely a good vibe for you. And touch and play is an organization that runs these events at a larger scale. There's one happening in Massachusetts in June. They have them in Europe. There's, they're happening in numerous locations. So it's something you could do at a large scale, but private events like this, you could kind of have to find somebody and get an invitation somehow by going to munches or events or festivals or something like that. But I would definitely repeat and recommend it. In my own defense, I do enjoy sensual touch. I enjoy my husband touching me. I enjoy my boyfriend touching me and select a few other guys. But just like the strangers touching, people hugging me, strangers touching me. I don't know what it is. It fills me with anxiety. Like I would be, yeah, there would be a Dan shape hole in the wall of that man's basement when they told us what the rules of the party get. I would have been like, I thought it's here for twister. What is this? What is this? I gotta get out of here. I've listened to your podcast long enough to know that you would not like this event. Well, I'm glad that you called to share this event and your experience at this event with us. And I want to highlight again, these events are out there. People can find them. If you were going to, there's somebody listening who is curious about going to an event like this, where do they start googling? What are the search terms you would recommend to find an event like this in your area? To find a basement like this in your area? Either liquid love, touch and play. That's like the large organization that has official events like this. But maybe on FET, you can FET life, you could find, you know, small local play parties that people might do things like this. So Google liquid love, touch and play and Dan Savage would never altogether Google those phrases and these events will pop right up. Yeah, but FET life is a great resource as well. You can find small local events. Lewis, thank you so much for coming on After Action Report and sharing your story. And this was the first time you went to a party like this, right? Yes, yes, totally. And it was a great experience. Awesome. I'm so happy for you. Thank you, Lewis. If you've had a new sexual experience, if you want to talk about it, whether it was a good, bad, met or mid sexual experience, come on After Action Report and debrief with me. To come on After Action Report, you just have to write up your new sexual experience and send it to us at qatSavage.Love with After Action Report in the subject line. And then maybe we will call you and you will be the next guest on After Action Report. Thank you for listening. This episode of the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Load Boost by VB Health. Load Boost is a supplement designed to improve the taste, the volume and the overall health of your semen. 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