Sal Vulcano Is Shocked This Is On YouTube | Your Mom's House Ep. 845

Welcome to your mom's house. Hi everybody. Thank you. Welcome to your mom's house with me is Sel Volcano everybody. Thank you. We were talking about Kevin Leonardo who shaves his ass and douches himself and it's considered educational on YouTube and you have two children now. Yeah. I was just telling you before we started, I don't let my kids on YouTube because I know that this guy's on. I thought they couldn't. I thought they didn't have stuff like this but. Oh they do. Yeah. So he's going to let us know what he's letting me. If I was interested that what's he what's he teaching me. Here's what you're going to learn. Yeah. How to safely finger your butt. Go ahead. Let's see how to safely because it's so dangerous. Your butt is a really good way to loosen up before sex. More specifically receptive anal sex. More specifically. More specifically. I don't like his intonation and his inflections and the way he speaks just right off the. What are you talking about? It's his anointing way speaking. It has an effect to it. It's not just speaking. No it's not even gay. No it's not that it's gay. It's like. No. He's just like. It's obnoxious. It's obnoxious. It's like here's how you're going to finger your butt. I'm going to tell you how to do it. Yeah. It's like you know what you're doing. Yeah. You know you're being a creeper. Yeah. If you're a friend of his or in his life and that's what you have to listen to every time he opens his mouth. That's a lot. I mean he might be a nice enough guy but he's like. You're absolutely right. I can hear him being a cool with his friend at the coffee house like. She came out to tell you the life story and the removing but hairs using their cream of it. Oh my god. This is YouTube. Yes. No that's not. Why are you doing me like that man. Are you kidding me bro. I was not ready to see a full open crack. Welcome to your home. I've taken this one down. But this was the original one that she was referencing. Yeah. This is how we got into the world. I thought it was going to be blurred or something. We just saw directly in his ass. Bro. Bro. I wasn't ready for that. Bro. Oh I didn't know this was on YouTube. Yeah dude. Again. Can you spell the name of his channel. Oh my god. Dude. Dick. There's no. Oh it's disgusting. Look how smooth it is. You didn't see it. I don't need to see it. You didn't even see the results. Look how smooth. I can't look at it. I can't look at it. I can't look at it. I can't look at it. I can't look at it. I can't look at it. Do you spell it with a favor? Look how smooth. Oh my god. Look how well that snare works. That is that is that's a that's intrusive. I don't want to see that. But like I don't like that he has to show you the wipe. Like bro we get it. But did you see his beehull and how clean it was. Please just look. Can you just put the still on his beehull. Look I won't forget the image. It's okay. I already got enough of the image. Imagine it's a woman's beehull because that's what it looks like. I can't. I'm not an idiot. I can't just imagine it's a woman. It's disgusting. I you know I I might have told you guys on this show before but I have a weak constitution. What do you mean? Well I if I if I look at that I could I could throw up. I really could throw up. Do you want to know something crazy? Yeah. I have a severe phobia of vomiting so if you were to do that. Yeah it'd be like stand by me. It will all just start vomiting. This would be the worst episode ever. Oh my god that was I cannot believe that's on YouTube out there. Wow I thought they just did like unboxings. Yeah me too. He basically just unboxed his asshole. That was like too intimate. There was too no one has shame anymore. I can't believe he just did that. I can't believe he just did that. That's not even behind a paywall. Bro. Nobody has any shame. Behind a paywall. I know. You know. It's weird you can see him in the wild and be like I watched you near your butthole like in 4k. I think about that all the time. Like the people that we feature on this show they have lives. There's people that they talk to every day. They ride a bus. They're on the subway next to you. You never know. You never know. Well it's just like you never know people are in too. Like Jay-Z is satanic. Did you know that he's eating babies? I heard that. Nicki Minaj came out. Can you believe that? No that's crazy dude. What? Like her like she's just I don't know. I just I didn't know she was like like so hard. I saw a post say like this hardcore like Christian. Oh yeah. Well you know I will say that. Quoting the Bible. Yeah but when fighting the dark horses. Not in bed with the Bible like she hadn't like her of all people is like now like she's like yelling at us about Christ. Yeah why now? I wonder why now she's choosing to. I mean do you think it's true that people eat babies in satanic rituals? Is that real? No. I would like to believe that's not real. It feels a little bit crazy. I know. You know but I don't know what's in these files either they keep alluding to some crazy stuff. So you know honestly to me the butthole was worse. That is the best thing about satanic. My question with the satanic baby eating is like. That can't be real. Well you're such a high profile person. How do you keep that secret? Right. Like you're taking a big swing. Your circle is so big. Yeah. Word gets out. I mean Tom and I yeah like we make a silly video for the podcast and TMZ picks that up. Right. And it's like how are you and we're not that level of famous. Yeah you're really you're really into baby eating. If you're like I gotta do this. Yeah I. Satan requires. That can't be that can't be a human on this planet that's gonna do that right. That's what I think but then I've had I've had people in the music industry. Just between you and me. Yeah. Tell me that it's true years ago my friend was like there's Satanists in the music business. Yeah. But what does Satan mean eating your kid eating a person. Why does that we can't you just be a Satanist and just be like mean. No because you have to be an asshole like hope for bad things or something. Why are you eating a human. Because you derive your power from Satan and you have to give Satan sacrifices so that Satan will bless you with power. It's like pray if you pray to God God will favor you theoretically that's what they believe. That's what Tanner told me in Tanner's Satanist. They believe that they have to do like. Things in order to get. Get power. Yeah like ritual sacrifice like Satan requires it. I got a lunatics. Yeah. But Jay-Z is such a good rapper. Oh Jay-Z eats them. Yeah. Allegedly. Allegedly. I don't believe that. That I don't believe. I don't know. I don't think so. He's from Brownsville. He I don't know. Brownsville, Texas. No. Is that from Brooklyn? I don't know man. I mean that's truly that's truly horrific. He doesn't seem like the baby eating type. I don't think he is but there was that whole thing where like you order a pizza and you get a kid or something like that. Yes code names. A couple of years ago they said like I remember my niece came into the house one time. I was visiting my parents and my niece came into the house. She goes I'm so upset. I'm like why? She's like did you hear what's the blonde lady who's mean to everybody? Which one? She's a talk show. She's super famous. Ellen. Oh yeah in real life. Yeah. She comes in she's like oh did you hear about this Ellen and Oprah like drink the blood of children or whatever. I'm like what are you doing? Slow down. I'm like they don't think Ellen and Oprah drinks the blood of children. But now here we are a few years later you're telling me Jay-Z just chomps on them like their apps. That's what I'm hearing. Yeah. And also Adrena Chrome have you heard this Hollywood thing? I heard that. We're going to get. Is that like taking people's essence and drinking that? It's okay. It's supposed to be the adrenaline of like a child. They'll take the adrenaline. That's why they scared. I'm telling you the dark virality of a Hollywood blood harvesting. They're people. I don't know. If this is real I am going to walk out of here in a pit of despair. But Sal doesn't it play your mind there's people like you and me and showbiz who are so like far like my excitement today was that I drank this latte. I had one before. Oh my god I'm crazy like Adrena Chrome. I know. And like just be happy with your money like just stay home. Yeah. It's just. What happens in their brain? What switch is flipped? We talk about this all the time. Yeah. Well my theory with fame and evil is like you were evil before you got famous and then the fame just amplified. Unleashed it. And now you've got the resources to be a piece of shit. Yeah. That's why like in superhero lore like for instance like Batman and such like they're humbled by their orphans or they have something humble in the beginning of their lives that makes them like an inherently good person. So when they get power they're not pieces of shit. But I don't know. GZ had a bad childhood. I don't know. I mean that theory doesn't work. Was his uncle shot by a burglar or something before he got rapping super fast. I don't know. I don't know his dad. Oh man. I don't know. I mean honestly if that's something that comes to life like those people just put I mean give me a death penalty. I don't give it. Straight to hell. I know they're like I mean they're probably messed up. They're probably psychotic. They don't carry their locked up but you can't be doing. I mean it's like. No straight straight. Yeah. I thought we were going to have a like a light conversation today. I took a waymo here. I thought it's my waymo. We'll talk about that later. You know we haven't even done the opening clips out. And I know you like food. We're going to talk about some disgusting things that you enjoy eating. But before that here's our opening clip. Are you ready? Here you go. Let's do it. Day 19 of eating a roast potato every day in 2026. Cheers. Oh. Cheese mom. Oh is Randy. Don't bring anyone loving this. You're going. His mouth was so moist. He's got some teeth on him too. Meow meow meow meow. Nice. What do you think? I never understood like if they're going to spend that much money on a chain and we cannot understand what it says. Like you know what I mean. I assume that maybe it's fake but like do you know what that chain says? Oveys. It's backwards. It says Bevo. Bevo. I can't tell. Even when you said it I can't tell. What does Bevo mean? Probably his name. Yeah. It says read me. I'll read it. Bevo is an internet personality who got famous for looking like a beaver. Oh so he embraces it. He went and got a chain made up. Wow. Bevo has taken this challenge of eating a potato every day. He is currently on day 19. Yeah. Did you hear all that? Oh. Yeah. That was the worst part. Yeah. I don't think eating a potato every day is inherently bad. It was his mouth and his saliva. Yeah. He had a wet. It was like those wet chompers. Let's listen to it again. Those big white chompers. Day 19. Day 19. Day 26. Cheers. Cheers. Listen. Oh. God. He looks like an animated live action animated at the same time. How does he look like? He looks like a Pixar character and a human at the same time. Why is that such a big challenge to eat a bite of potato every day? Not a bite. An entire potato. Yeah. A whole potato. But it looks like he's got to put all this shit on too. I can't just be like a potato with salt. He's got to load that thing up. But what's the challenge? I don't even get it. I don't get it. Like why is that? Who's going to like who's he really like roping in here? I'm not going to be like I got it. 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It's also a drag. If I had to eat a potato every day, think about it. Everywhere you go, you can't go on a date. You got to be like, I got to find a potato to eat. You know what I mean? That's true. If you're traveling, it's a travel day. You're like, I got to find a potato in the airport. Do people have that much free time in their lives that he could take on the challenge of eating a full potato every day and recording it? Is there more footage of him eating? Do we have an explanation? Does it have to be loaded? Does it have to have cheese? What is it? Let me pull up his page. It's so stupid. I will say though, he's only on day 19. He's made it to you. You know what I mean? This is the place. He's made it. It only took him 19 days. You know what I mean? He's succeeding. Here's the deal, man. There's shit that I really like that I think I have eaten 19 days in a row. There was a sandwich in England, a curry chicken, mango, chutney sandwich. I ate it every day for about a semester. What is that? Like fucking 90 days. McDonald's. Easily I could eat McDonald's every day. I think I did in the summer of 1997. It's not that fucking hard. Didn't that guy die that he ate McDonald's every day? Yeah. Oh, it's a shame. Not from that guy. He died recently, but something happened with that guy. He's a documentarian. What's his name? Yes. I know. What was that documentarian? I know he's talking about. Supersize me. I know. I see his face and he's got that stupid facial hair too. But he's sweet. Yeah, I think he recently died or something. I was like, oh man. He did. Morgan something? Morgan Spurlock. Yeah. Yeah, he was, I mean he did that documentary, Supersize Me, to expose like how vulgar and vile McDonald's food is and how they upsell you. He wants more. Yeah, supersize it. So he ate McDonald's every day. What was it for a year? And he was like pre-diabetic. He gained 50 pounds. It was terrible. So how'd he die? He died like a year ago. I'm going to go back to the center. I know. I don't know. Let's see. You know who's death I still can't get over? The crocodile hunter. Me too. That's a shame. I think he was beloved and also like it's just crazy. Unspecified cancer. Yeah, that's cancer will get you. 53, two, fuck. That sucks. Yeah, you know what's interesting? So I feel the same way and I see clips of him all the time when he's like, you know what I do with my money? I don't need a gold donny. I'm going to boil all the land because I love animals. And you're like that guy died like. I know. I love that guy. I don't want to watch him show me how to narrow his ass off. Him I would watch like, all right. You're not having no sex. Watch this cow, brat. But it's like he didn't even get, he got taken out by a stingray, which I think like are known to be also like docile. Well, and also too, and doesn't the thing point down, right? The stingray, the stinger points out and is just like, how did it go up and. I don't know the circumstances that surround it, but that is bad. It was freakish. His it was freakish and his daughters around Bindi. She still does stuff and Linda and Linda was so annoying. Is that the wife? Yeah. If you see clips of him talking and she's just like, like she just she adored him. Yeah. He seemed like a really good dude. He doesn't eat babies. I would have been friends with him. I think I feel like I could have been friends with him even outside of like croc stuff. Yeah. Like his non-croc life. He'd be so cool to call. He's like, sale. I just want to hear him talk. Got something to show you. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like he'd be that excited about everything he does. Yeah. Sal, you might pay some. Yeah. I'd be so cute. Oh, yeah. What a sweet soul. I don't. He's not in the Epstein files. No way. Can't be. No fucking way. No. So you got into. Oh, wait. What about this potato schmuck? What's his story? So what's the big deal? Yeah. He writes, so this doesn't seem like much of a challenge. No. His teeth are shinier than his diamond necklace. His teeth are shinier than the necklace. She's smart. It's always the bad veneers. I don't think those are even. I think those are the perfect smile, like the kind that you put in. And they're. That guy is making people feel bad about their teeth. I eat an orus potato every day. 2026. I was under 20. I got 12 orus potatoes today. Yeah. Yeah, that's like one solid block of white. Stop swallowing like that. Why does he swallow like that? I never saw someone swallow with the teeth outside the lips. Day 23. Day 23? Like a horse. That's why he seems like an animator. He seems like, you know, he reminds you of in Ice Age, the little, like, a little. I know you're talking about a little. The big chipmunk or some kind of a churro or whatever. I mean, God bless them. This guy is. Whatever that thing is. I don't know. What is that? That's. I don't know. I've seen this movie. It's 20,000 times. I don't pay attention. I sleep when my kids watch this. He looks like, that's what he looks like. Yeah. That's very accurate. The giant eyes. That stupid teeth. Like that. That freeze frame right there. If you just look down like a foot, it's the exact same face. Die twice free. What a fucking. Yeah. I don't know. So anyway, you've been, you took a Waymo here. You know, I didn't know. I didn't know I was taking one though. I just, I went to Colin Uber and it just said it's a Waymo. And I was like, you know what? I have never taken one. I'm not going to take one. I'm not going to keep taking one. I'm just talking about it with some friends. And I was like, I'm going to do one for the experience. That's why not, you know? Yeah. And it sucks. It sucked the whole way. Tell me about it because I fucking hate. I'm opposed. I don't even want to try. I will go back in it. Okay. Sorry. I interrupted you. Go ahead. Tell me. The driving itself was fairly smooth, but like when it picked me up, it drove past me a block and across the street. So I had to, you know, it waited for me when I went and got in. And then when I got in the car, I was 11 minutes. I looked at my GPS. I was 11 minutes from here. I had 23 minutes to drop off. And I was like, no, I was like, you can hit pull over. It says it'll take almost, it could say it could take up to a minute for it to pull back over, but you can't readjust anything. You can't tell it to route. So I deduced right away, because I'm not a fucking moron that it probably couldn't go on the highway, I guess or whatever. So it took sides. But it doesn't warn you that your 11 minute trip is going to be 23 minutes. So I was like, all right. So I called here to just let you know. And then about two minutes from here, I was looking down, but the Waymo slammed on the brakes. And I don't know if it was the car that cut us off or the Waymo, but it's, I think we beeped. We. We. We. I think me and the car beeped. And it literally jammed on the brakes like a, and a hole on the horn and a car like cut right in front of us. Like, oh, shit. And then it dropped me off with a sinister end instead of here. And I'm like talking, I'm like, you're passing it. You're passing it. I'm like, stop, stop. There's no voice recognition. I hate it. So what if it, I mean, it was annoying. It kind of slowed up outside the lot here. But then like just kept going and then just kept going. And then it like the last like minute it was going like only three miles an hour. Like so it pulled into the other lot slow. And then it like drove really slow in that a lot to the front of the place. And then I was just like, just stop, just stop the car. Just finally, when it was going like really, really slow, I just opened the door. Yeah. And I walked here too. So it was like, as I gave it two stars, I said, drop off, pick up. And I said, uh, and, uh, route was too long. I gave it two. I didn't give it one because the driving some, some of the driving seemed pleasant. Pleasant. It's like, it seemed fine and not fine. It's too safe. Like it doesn't. It's overly safe. That's what I was thinking too. Like if it's not going to go above the speed limit, what the fuck that is inefficient, right? And people hate these cars. So aren't they like setting them on fire and stuff? I didn't know that. I'm just my hope. Are they are they messing with them? Oh yeah. All the time. And anytime there's a riot or anything, Waymo's are in flames. Good. Every time I came. Good. Oh shit. Good. Can I tell you something? I just finished watching all the Terminator movies with my sons. How many other? Oh, like four or five. Yeah. Like a fucking cautionary tale against trusting the robots. Yeah. Okay. And Sarah Connor is not happy about this. I'm not happy about this. Yeah. Every time I see one, I fucking flip at the bird. I'm like, never. I'm never going to get into this. Yeah. I won't do it again. I'm not going to do it again. Because you know why? What if, bro, what if you had a fucking warrant out for your arrest? You get in that Waymo and it checks that or something and next thing you know your ass is in jail, dude. I'm sure that'll happen. That's, we're one step away from that. Yeah. Yeah. You couldn't even get out of the fucking thing. Yeah. It was annoying. It was like it was rubbing it in because I'm like, you missed it. You missed it. Just stop because now I got to walk more and you keep going. You know, it's like just like literally like chastising it. And I just opened it and they're like, stop. Make sure you have your phone. It's like, all right. Well, I mean, yeah, it could drop you off anywhere. It could drop you off to get trafficked or I don't know. Yeah. It's like herbie. What would someone do with you? Yeah. Herbie. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Here, I've got this for you though. You actually chose that because if you'd taken an Uber, this could have happened. Hey, you Uber driver, you talking mad shit to my girl? You better stop. Because you see this. He disrespecting her and I'm going to disrespect you right between the eyes. You got that? Damn, dude. Hey. Yeah. Quit giving her a lip, man. Wow. Wow. I love that his hypothetical situation at that Uber driver is just outright disrespecting his girlfriend right in front of him. And then after he threatens him with the first fist, the Uber driver kept it up. I mean, I don't know. Like I know that men, you guys have a language all your own. For instance, Tom's told me when he walks into a room, unconsciously men size up other men like I could take that guy. Okay, I don't do that, but now I feel like a pussy. Now he's a psycho. But you'd think like don't you guys fight when you're younger and learn like, hey, you're going to get beat. Like you shouldn't threaten people on the internet and stuff. No, I don't know. Maybe I was just raised a different area. I didn't walk around fighting people when I was younger. Where are you from? Staten Island, New York. Well, that's no, they were there were fights and stuff. But like I didn't, it wasn't like I was in the wanderers. I wasn't like in the warriors or anything and walk around the streets like looking for trouble and like mixing it up to learn like life lessons and to toughen up and stuff. I wasn't doing that. I would I guess I would try to avoid physical confrontations if at all possible. Right. That's what I'm thinking. And like this guy was he was honestly, I would be scared if he told me that if this guy said that. Okay, well here, let's hear what else he has to say. Bro. I told you, quit disrespecting her. This you be driver will not stop. Don't worry, girl, I got you. He's got me. Got me. So you want to keep messing with me, driver? You want to keep doing that? Don't you fucking do it. You're going to find out real quick. I'm not someone you want to mess with. All right, pull the car over. We're going to settle this right fucking now. Whoa. I love that he's white night. Because this is like, who's he? Who's this for? Well, okay, so there's the lane of dudes who will put hypotheticals online to attract women. Like they he's showing you what an alpha he is. And if you were to date him, this is the kind of guy you're getting. This is the and honestly, as a woman, the thought of a man defending your honor is very enticing. That's what I like. Yeah. Tommy, when I met him, I'm like, this guy's big. He's going to fuck somebody up. Yeah. He's not that he ever has for me. Right. But or I've had to. He would. But like that's that is what you want. But I don't I don't know. Do you think he's one of those guys that's quietly psycho and like you fight him and he can fuck you up? Or is he just a bag of dough and you could fuck his ass up? Oh, man, you know, I'll tell you, he has in the face of this, he's had a lot of patience with this super driver too. It's been about five or six warnings. And I don't know what's going on with you. The car is in motion. And this guy will not stop railing on this guy's girlfriend. And I think he's I mean, I think he's given him. He's given the Uber driver enough chances at this point. You should fight. Yeah. Yeah, I like your assessment. Just keep on disrespecting and see what happens. You just keep it up. Hey, buddy, do not test me. All right, that's it. In a moment, I'm going to request you pull this car over. Just hold on a second. Don't do it. Don't do it. All right. Begin. What are you thinking about in your mind that you're going to be pulling over? Before we started this podcast, there were moments where I wondered if anyone would actually want to listen to us and our brown talk. 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To show up, start to finish with hydration from Liquid IV Hydration Multiplier. Sugar-free, tear, pour, live more. Go to liquidiv.com and get 20% off your first order with code YMH at checkout. That's 20% off your first order with code YMH at liquidiv.com. I love you. See, we were allowed to stay on the sidewalk of the square block. We can go around a full square block on the sidewalk. When we ventured to the top of the block, there were these kids that were being a little bullying. My cousin was a year older than me, so when you were little, that's a lot. He was driving, and I was holding on. I was riding bitch and out in Bigville. I remember my cousin turning to me and he goes, don't worry, Sal. If they mess with us, he made a face. He goes, they'll get one of these. That's exactly the energy. That's exactly the energy. He just pissed like, he didn't like, he did it like this. He's like, I'll give him one of these. I felt what I felt protected and safe. Yes, you understand. And then it basically was this guy. It's the same vibe. Yeah, that's true because my little boys loved to talk about fighting and how they would fuck somebody up and then the guns and weaponry and killing and you know, it's normal. Great. Hey, do you want to see some pictures of Jack Nicholson on vacation? I'll pull him up. I'll pull him up. Shirtless Jack, let's do it. Yeah, have you seen this? I've seen a few of him shirtless. See much like our love of the crocodile hunter. I saw these photos like weeks ago and I still think about them once a day for so many reasons. Is he doing a cannonball? Of course he is. No, no, he's just getting out of, he's getting into the, but he's fat. So that's how you look when you have to pull your body weight up and in, you know. I don't know if I look much different than him. No, no, but he kicks it with models. Look at him. Yeah. Look at all the models. Yeah. So this is recent. That's really great because I thought he was like good for him. I thought he was like kind of like a recluse now or something like that. No, no. Wait, put in recent ones because they just dropped some like a month ago of him. He looks like shit, but like you still love him and he's still hot. He's him. I mean, he can't. He's only one. He's a one of one. This guy. I know, right? Yeah, I would be intimidated. This is someone I might be a little bit intimidated to meet. No, Jack Nicholson on vacation 2020. Recent ones. Yeah. Like, I guess these are all recent. How did he say he's airborne in that one? He's just just like he's airborne, but his arms are like totally not like. Well, and the paparazzi is taking these photos. It leaves a guy alone, dude. Fuck right off. Like he's on a boat. He doesn't he's not asking to be photographed. That's those long lenses that they're using. I understand that. But I also will say this. I'll say, I mean, I like that he just doesn't give a fuck because if that I might be wearing like a rash guard, if I had, you know, if I wouldn't, I wouldn't be as comfortable, comfortable even right now. No, as he is, which is letting them out, letting them go. Look at those tits. I know nobody is. And here's the thing is that the rash. Poor guy. I know. The most unflattering in the middle of smearing on SPF. Oh my God, that is so mean. It's like mean to post it. It sucks so bad. Like why did they have it out for him? He he's never pretended to be like right, like the hot guy. Like he's just he's got to love him for it. Yeah, I love it. It's cool. I love it. Oh my God. Oh my God. So bad. This photographer sucks, dude. It sucks. He's probably snapping like this is amazing. He'd fucking that's one of the funniest. It's like that's so I love that he's jumping in the water like you know, blast. He's he's he's crushing his life. Yeah. But that is what I like about like all the celebrities that go to the fancy places they get they get paparazzi, which is funny. But not him. I think he doesn't deserve it. I like him a lot. Well, you see the like Heidi Klum was in St. Bart's over Christmas and they dragged her because she just looked like a normal 50 year old woman naked. They're like, what a pig. Yeah, fuck that. Who cares? But they also pose. They also pose for these things to like these are set up. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like see like the ones where she looks good. Right. And she's walking with that guy. She so sometimes they'll have their own photographers take the pictures and then sell them, which she definitely does for sure. Oh, wow. That's I must I'm naive. And the Kardashians do that too. That's why they always have like, you know, those those celebrity like us weeklies and they'll be like, Kim's just out on the town with her latte. And it's like a perfectly posed because they have photographers do that. Yeah. Anyway, Heidi just I guess there's one photograph where she was just normal and she had her top off and they were like, people are dragging her for, you know, just being an old bride. I wouldn't do that if she came to me and took her top off. I would not drag her. Be her. I would let her be her. Would you want to? She's no she's got I mean, she's no Jack Nicholson top. She's no Jack Nicholson. But I think that the difference being like, if you put yourself out there as like, I'm the hot chick, you always have to live up to being the hot chick. It's so rough. Like poor Pamela Anderson, even though now she's kind of like she's become like the cool, ugly, used to be hot chick. Wait, does that make sense? Like I used to be hot and now I'm just like normal and old. She's she's she looks great. No, no, she's got this little Lord Fauntleroy haircut now. And she doesn't wear makeup to premieres. It's very upsetting. But we're looking at unflattering photos specifically, right? No, no, no, no, no, these are red carpets. Look at her that and now look at her little Lord Fauntleroy. Look at the stupid haircut. Stupid. I like that she's stupid. She's trying new things. Yeah, I like doing things. The only the only thing I don't understand is like with the eyebrows. But like other than that, like that's Pamela Anderson. She's she's smoke show. Yeah. Can I tell you what's with the eyebrows? I'll tell you exactly what happened. What happened to all of us in the 90s is we over tweezed because that look was cool and then they don't grow back. And they don't grow back. Yeah, it's people like they tattoo now on there. Yeah, I wonder. It's crazy because they always look surprised. I know. Yeah, it's always like I. Microblating. I've been here a while. I think it's called my I will never tattoo my face. I've never done this time. Does Tom wax it? Do what do you call it? Tweezes. Thread or whatever they're called. No, but he'll he'll he'll get like crazy hairs and all tweezed. Yeah. Oh, that's just regular me. Why do you do? No, I never have. You don't need to. I can't like that man scape like that manicure. It's too much for me. Yeah, I don't I don't even look at me. It's not right. So gay. Hold on. There is this YouTuber. Who is I talking about? The science guy that I brought up earlier. The video game guy. No, he's a he's on Netflix right now. The Crunch Labs guy. Can we please look at his eyebrows? This is so mean and I don't care, but just look at his eyebrows. Because I think it's too far. Like, yeah, Mark, Mark, Robert, shout out. I'd love your show. My kids love it. They're learning about science. But it's the brows, dude. Right. Do you guys see what I see? Am I wrong? Is he is he like grooming over grooming them? Something's going on there. I can't really. I know. Can you put my glass? I should have brought my glasses. Can you make it big? Because I was watching it last night with my kid. I don't know. It's a strong brow. It's it's his firm, strong brow. He's no. He's no George Whipple. Yeah. George Whipple is why George Whipple's George Whipple's nuts. Bring it up. Just looks like he has two fur coats over. That's old school. That's what a man can be a man. I mean, that's why I'm not. And he he he he he cultivates it. I mean, he could at any moment in time dial that back. I know. Yeah. Whipple. That's not his. He's definitely Greek or something, right? Yeah, that's something else. I wonder how much random shit gets caught in those. Like just large pieces of dust and stuff like, you know, that's so. That sucks that that's your thing. Got in the eyebrows, guys. Yeah. You know, if you tell us like you got something in your teeth. I wonder how many times someone's like you got something in your eyebrow. You got a piece of spinach. It's pretty. You're right, bro. It's terrible. Yeah. Good for him. Good for him. Good for you, Whipple. Is he he's dead, right? He's got to be long. I I for me, it's unclear. I if I was playing the game to guess, I would say he's alive. Still alive. Shut the front door. Seventy one. Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. Catherine Harris. Pat stop it. Seventy one. She was. That's crazy. I would that's sad, man. I like her so. Do you have a meter or no? No, did you? No, no, I wish I did. Me too. I'm such a fan of Beetlejuice. I loved her in that, of course, all alone. We watch that weekly in our house. So good. Give us Catherine back. Take Whipple. I didn't say that. Edit that out. Even sloth. No, I'm kidding. George, I hope you're thriving wherever you are. God bless you and your brows. Fuck. She was fantastic. She stole every scene in George's Creek. Of course. Yeah, I mean, I couldn't get enough. I just quoting. Yeah, just like, yeah. No, and she's dope. She they whatever they caught her like TMZ caught her in line. Did you see that when she was a little bit older and she was at the airport standing in line and like, what's your favorite role? And she was like being a grandmother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, that's cool. That's dope. Yeah, that's dope. Yeah, she got it. She was weird. I liked her. All right, let's talk about the Grammys. Do you want to go through some Grammy fashion with me? Yeah, let's do this. This was last night, Grammys? I don't know. I don't watch it. Last night, because I went I walked into my hotel to like, there's a Grammy viewing in the thing. Oh, OK. Yeah, but I know Nate won a Grammy. That's right. I shout out to Nate. Shout out to Congrats, Congrats, buddy. Congratulations. Yeah, I don't I don't watch these award shows. I stopped. I used to watch them. Really? Well, my parents watched like the Grammys and like Emmys. But like, I remember like I used to be into the the movie one, the Oscars. Yes. Like, you know, like in the because I used to like Barton and stuff, so we just like the bar parties and stuff and get into it. And there's a kind of but I'm so, so removed from the war shows like the last 15, 20. Same. Yeah. I think it was that was the time of television when there was like five things you could watch at a given time and your parents. It was a big deal. It was a big deal. Yeah. And I do like the Grammys when Michael Jackson came. Yeah. That was cool. And who walked in through the hat. That was the best Grammy. It's the best one. I know. It's like he was God. He's like he's like hovering in the air. I remember watching it as a kid and I just was like, this man is he's he's he's walking. He's walking on water. I know. He was so. I loved. I used to I mean, I used to walk around with the glove. You're so lucky. How did you get one? How did you get one? Like I was like, I they had said it actually said Jackson five on it and in gold. There's a white glove. But in hindsight, because I still have it because it's just like I think it came with like a record or something like that. But it was said Jackson five on it, but it was a white glove. But it's so funny. It literally looks like an of glove. Like it's not like the sleek one he wore. It was like a white. It was like a huge white shitty, like, you know, something that would come as like, you know, like a bullshit extra on a record, you know, and it's like it's just like you look at it looks like you would wear it to like it looks like an off glove. Like but think about how original that was. He's like, I'm going to wear one glove, one glittery glove. I know. I don't think anyone's ever done that. Nobody Corey Feldman who's ripping him off, right? Then I'm going to moonwalk and then I'm going to bring a chimpanzee to the Grammys. Yeah. Oh, we didn't bring he brought Macaulay. He did. I think he brought Macaulay Culkin to the Grammys. I think my colleague or Emmanuel Lewis. Sorry, it was Webster. Yeah. Not Macaulay. Yeah. Ma'am and George Papadopoulos. Oh my God. I can't believe he's not Macaulay. Webster was great. He used to go. He used to go. Did he used to go up and down stairs and a dumb waiter? Yes. Did he? Didn't he? You had a sadder child to than I did. Because you remember that. Yeah, they used to be like, I go upstairs and put him in a dumb waiter and just let him pull him upstairs. Yeah. Why couldn't he call her mom? Why ma'am? Yeah. Why couldn't he just use the steps? It feels demeaning to throw him in a dumb waiter. That's reserved for like food. It's so gross and unsafe. And he was like a 30 year old man. I know. At the time you played that role, the 80s did not give a fuck. No. No. Because there's also the reality of that. He's a 30 year old man. And then they're just like, come on, get in the dumb waiter. We'll put you upstairs. But no, Michael Jackson. I was like, I mean, that was he was everything. Oh my God. And I wanted the jacket, the red beat it jacket so bad. But that was like $300. I remember my parents were like, because then he had the thriller one too. But the beat it one. Yeah. The red one. Yeah. The knife on it. Yeah. Fuck. He broke out into the knife fight. I mean, what's the thriller one? That was just like the thriller was a full red outfit. The fucking. Oh, the leather. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. God damn. Which is kind of what Eddie Murphy wore in Delirious. I was just thinking that. Yeah. Wait, who came first? Eddie Murphy or thriller? I think it was the same freaking thing actually. I watched this when it came out. My dad didn't. We had the cassette. When it came on VHS, I should say, I just went. But my dad, like my parents were divorced. Like so. My dad had the. He didn't prohibit. I could just watch. No, me too. And I would watch this on cable because they would loop it. And I've still to this day memorized all these bits. Raw. I really think it's like. And I'm watching now. I'm like, damn, this is wild. I got home with the AIDS on the lips. I mean. Put it on the pussy. Yeah. Put it on the pussy. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. And he was only like 21 or two or something when he did. Yeah, I know. Yeah. So he had the bits like that were accessible a little bit. Like the one where like, why'd you pick the ice cream off the floor? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then he had like the ice cream. Like a lot of shit. But then it's like, yeah. So you watched that and you left. But then it was like, he talked about so much. And I'm like, I don't know. I guess my parents were just like, yeah, you know. Well, mine too. I don't think there was an awareness that children had different psychology. Like we were just. I think they were just like, that's, you know, that's bad. Don't say that. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that and I. Tits and movies I used to see. Yeah, all the time. Tits and they just for no reason. I used to feel a little weird. Yeah. Maybe not just maybe if not, it was just tits. But like if there was sex, because that's another thing we used to just watch movies like as a family and then there would be sex scenes. Oh my God, it made me so uncomfortable. So do you just happen to you now? So I forward through that stuff. If I'm watching with my boys, I'll be like up, grown up stuff. Okay. And I forward, but I let them watch all the violence, which is. Right. Look at sex with your parents next to you is so gross. That's gross. Yeah. There's this great joke Laurie Kilmartin has right now because her son is a teenager. He's probably older now where she's like, I figured out how to get my son to stop watching porn. I told him that if you watch his porn, he has to do it sitting next to me. Absolutely. That's so good. So funny. I always felt weird with the sex scenes. I would feel so uncomfortable. One time I swear to Christ, nine and a half weeks was on. Stop. I, yes. And I walked. With your mom and your dad? My dad. My dad's stepmom's sister. I know we would watch like basic instinct. Yeah. All right. I look away for a second or something. I'm like, all right. But that's also like a single, is that a single dad things? My dad was a Bolivius. He wasn't single. He was married to my stepmom. He was like, he wasn't like, he wasn't like a fumbling dad. He just like, it was on and then I don't know. It's like, I just don't know. I just feel like I always watch whatever we want it. I just thought he was just like gave us the benefit of the doubt, I suppose. I don't know. I know we would watch. I would watch anything. Yeah. And now I'm so cautious about that stuff because it did traumatize me. You're not supposed to see like tits. You're not fucking at nine and a half. We got like tits fucking tits fucking. You know, my first tits that I saw was Melanie, Melanie Griffith and body double. I think it was a body double. I don't remember. I remember my friend's house though. And we were we walked into the living room and walked in on it. It was a core memory. Yeah. I must have been like eight and I was like, oh, damn. Yeah. Oh, yeah. She's gorgeous. Her daughter's so pretty. Who's your daughter? Dakota. What's her name? Fanny. Nam. I don't know. I just spoke Hungarian to you. Dakota. Dakota Fanny? That chick. That chick. What's her name? Dakota Johnson. Dakota. Oh, of course. Yeah. Right. Right. So pretty. They're so pretty. Oh, yeah. She had a great AD Open Door. Did you see that one? AD Open Door? Yeah. The architectural dodgers. You ever see Open Door? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. They did do like they're like, uh. Oh, I want to see her. She had a great one. Yeah. Oh, yeah. She's a cool one. That's what I do. I swear to God. I know. I'm like, are you? I stay home and I just watch like architecture videos. Yeah, I saw Lily Allen's one where she when she was living with a stranger things guy when they were married before he blew it up. Oh, they're not married? Dude, apparently allegedly he cheated on her, everybody. And then she wrote an album about it. It's crushing right now. Oh, I guess I'm out of the loop. She's crushing. Yeah. Oh, wow. But their place was a total hen den. I mean, look at the, look at that. It's like a chick palace. Yeah. So you could tell like, OK. Oh my God, he publicly, this was a big public thing. Like he got caught. Yeah. Like he, oh, wow. Well, I guess I don't know the details. Like I forget. I don't know. Got, but I think, yes, he cheated on her. It's out. She wrote an album about it. And the details are in like the lyrics of her album. Oh, whoa. I know. And they have an open door together. He had his own in his abattoir apartment before her. He has an episode like when he just lived in New York City on his own. And then he got married and did one with her. And then now I want to see the next one. Both of their houses after they broke up and had to split everything back up. Oh my God. I just, this is the last thing I would ever do is like, welcome architectural. Yeah, it seems it is crazy that people let, let, let them like into the house like that. No way. I daydream about doing, like I daydream about my episode. But like just, just like, but not, I wouldn't do it. No, and I love the show. I daydream like showing them dumb things. Like, like, and here's my wall of cool guys. And like this guy's cross-eyed. This guy died taking 10 to 12 Benadryl. Like not really. That guy over there is me. I still don't see it, but all right. Yeah. But I would hate to like do it to be serious and to be like, I'm really proud of this room. Yeah. Some people do it pretty good. They're like, they don't seem pretentious and they seem like genuine and it's interesting. Some people are, that's why I like watching it too. It's like, there's a whole like scope of how they are. There was one, I think Tyrese, I think, like, I think it's Tyrese, the guy, is he in the old, not back to the future, Fast and Furious. He's a black guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a handsome black fella. I think, I think this is his in Atlanta. Yeah. Oh dude, his is hysterical. Can we just watch the, can we watch the movie? He just walks around and he's like, it's like a crazy mansion and he has like servants everywhere. And it's like, it's, it's so like, he's like, he's like, this is, no one can afford this. This is like, I swear to God. You open your door and you look to the left and the right. I'm just playing. I'll come on in. First of all, press pause for a second. Let's, let's scale it. Like, oh, it's Atlanta. It's not Pacific Palisades. So like the same amount of money is going to go a lot further. Yeah, dollars. Just stretching. Yeah. Let's keep it real with the location folks. Come on. Well, he's acting like it's, he's acting like it's in the West Village. Right. Yeah. Right. Relax, bro. But he does go around like bragging about everything. Nobody, nobody else had an open door like this. He just was like, it was just, it's really, really funny, pretentious. What's up, AD? The house is a total 25,000 square feet. The house has six stories and it has an elevator in it. We're not going to be able to do all six stories. I probably would grow a bunion if I walked through this whole house. This room right here is like I kind of nicknamed this room Zen. The moment that they come in, you seem chill. See their energy go. Yeah. Yeah, totally. There's pieces in it where he starts explaining how rare this wood is and a normal person can't have this wood. It's like. This is unreal. And then he ends up relaxing and he cuts the check. I believe in prophetically thinking and speaking things into existence. And so what I did was I went online and I actually ordered a replica of an actual Oscar and you'll see in the front, there's no name on it. So one day I believe I'll be taking a picture like this backstage while talking to the press. That's always sick inside the Oscars. Wait, I'm prepositing. You feel sick. It feels I feel uneasy. I feel sad. Yeah, I feel uneasy. He has a way like that. You know what? His coast because Vin Diesel has a way of I see him in these interviews. He's weird. He like he like walks the line of like I feel a little bit uncomfortable, but he seems very direct. But it's like, I don't know. He has this air about him. You ever see one Vin Diesel like doesn't interview. Let's let's see. It's very like he's he seems like a like a down to a person. But it also like he's in this space that makes me uncomfortable when he talks Vin Diesel. OK, let's see. I'm sure I can pick it. Right. Because there's people that are real and you're like, oh, that's that's real. That feels right. I don't know if he's like it's actually so real that it's on. But it's like. Oh, God. This one and he. He's so beautiful. Thank God she's so beautiful. Am I right or wrong? Look at her. How am I supposed to do this interview? Look at this woman. Tell me your story. She's so beautiful. Go on, go on, man. Talk to me, baby. Tell me your story. Tell me your story. Let's get out of here. Let's go. Let's let's go have lunch. My God. So you see what I mean there? Wow. And like here's the thing, dude. Like she's a depressed junket. She knows how big the star is. She just has to get the interview. Yeah. And like he's like, I don't want to fuck you. You fucking hot. I mean, shit, this chick's so hot. I don't want to fuck you according to my little time. According to my little time. Look at me. You're family. You're my family. I want to fuck you. But you have to imagine at this time in his career, women were just falling right over themselves. I suppose he's a big star. I mean, yeah, I wasn't to be fair. I didn't even I've never saw him like that. I just mean like I mean, he's on like Conan or something like he's a he has his way of talking slow like that with like intense and everyone's just like kind of leaning in like waiting for him to finish. And it throws the balance of the whole conversation off. That's kind of what I meant. Like like, like, like, I don't know, like it feels socially awkward, but I think he's just being unapologetically him. And so he won't like, I don't know. You know what I mean? The van here. Well, thanks for having me. Yeah. Thanks for having me. I know people talk about this all the time, but every time I say your name, a lot of people, you know, create a name when they get into show business. Vin Diesel is one of my favorites. It's such a cool name. Don't clap for yourself. Don't clap. He's clapping for reason to say Vin Diesel in an uncool way. It's a net, you know, it's like you try and you're like Vin Diesel still sounds cool. That's a good point. Yeah. Vin Diesel. I'm going to keep saying it to you. You know what it is, so low IQ. You think so? Yeah. He's a dipshit. It's not that he's I think I don't I just don't think he's do it. Do I think he's a great actor or what he does? Yes. Is he attractive? Yes. Is he doing Shakespeare? Never. Right. No, I'm not not not to. I just don't think he's like a bright and I think that his brain that it goes that way. Do you know? Yeah, it's like, you know, how McConaughey does it, but it's like it's kind of like that Southern drawl, but he's kind of slow. But I think he has enough good will with us where it's like, 100 percent. I think he's doing a version of that. But I always then I'm just like, like, if you're in an interview with him, like he'd be like, yeah, you know, let me, you know. And it's just like, and he just watched. I feel uncomfortable watching it. That's all I know. Something goes off inside me. And I'm like, I feel uncomfortable right now. Like, I don't know why he's making me hang on everywhere. He's talking so slow. It's slow talk and it's it presumes that the listeners got to just hang in there. Yeah, I'm just that interesting. You're going to hang in there. It's like a technique. You know, like those books you read is like make friends and influence. Yes, Dale Carnegie. I want to speak slowly and make them. You know, yes, they say that. Like I've I've seen videos on TikTok, like self-helper people. They tell you to slow down. Yeah. And I'm sure they're right, but I don't fucking care. I'm anxious. And I know what it is, Christina. For me, go ahead. You know, for me, in my own life. Well, that's my favorite. Yeah, I mean, I feel, yeah. And that's just me. But yeah. Let me tell you. Barf. OK. Let's do some Grammy picks. Since we're on that. Let's do some fashion. And then I want to run you through some TikToks. So this is the main one that everyone's talking about. Chapel Roan. That's hot. Whoa. Oh, sorry. I thought that was Jack Nicholson. So the dress is attached to her nipple rings. What? Brilliant. That is I've I thought I saw seen everything. 10 out of 10. That's a that's a that's something. That's fucking amazing. That is a chapel. Ballsy. Wow. That was rough to pull that off even to make it. If I was like the designer, I'm like, hear me out. Just going to put these right through your nipples. That's that's phenomenal. That's phenomenal. That's really. She's I mean, she's just topless. I love it. Well, this was this falls on the heels of J Lo. Remember the infamous J Lo. Remember it. Come on. And then Rose McGowan as well, I think to the MTV Music Awards with Marilyn Manson wore like a really nice titty dress. Titty dress. Yeah, I think I know what you mean. But how are they releasing the photographs of this? Because I know the nip nips they have to blur. Oh, wait, are those her actual nipples? I can't see that. No, she has on covers of pasties or something. So I think they're prosthetics and like she doesn't really have like nipples, I don't think. I think they just kind of like, you know, blended it all together with makeup. Zoom in. We got to invest the gate. What's prosthetics? The nip, the whole thing, the nipple with the piercing. Yeah. It's like an overlay of her breasts on top of her breast. So let's see how the dress is engineered. I mean, it could be that the whole top is see through. You know what I mean? Like it's just a skin. Unbelievable. I could never. I God bless people's like security. Oh my God. I could never. Sal. You're showing up to be photographed. So let me tell you something. We went on vacation over Christmas and I thought I looked really good. Yeah. You know, and you're like, like I'm feeling myself in a bikini. Tom took photos of me and I was like, fuck. There's a lot of flattering angles and stuff. No, it's just I'm fucking shit. I'm a fuck shit. Yeah, but we're normal. We're normal. Yeah. I'm a fat fucking cellulite, fat, like that's my lot. Okay. So how are we doing this? So look, yeah, there is a cover. Yeah. So those are not her breasts. Those are her breasts, but I think they're covering like with a pasty or something. It's it's it's it's it's it's nothing if it's not fashion. And I think the tattoos are fake too. Okay. So maybe that's cool. That's a really cool idea. I think a mold on her maybe. No, I think I think it is her real breasts and her real chest and they've inked it with that henna ink. And then I think there's an overlay on the nibble. Like it's something's actually covering her real breasts there like a latex. Okay. And then they put a hole through it and then it sticks there on her. Wow. That's really cool. That looks great. 10 out of 10. I think this is a banger. I mean, it's I'm going to be thinking about it. It's cool. It's really cool. It's cool. Even to strike that pose, though, I think something you have to do press and promo and stuff like, you know, we have to do it for whatever reason. Right. Yeah. I feel more uncomfortable when people are trying to take a photograph of me like then I mean my skin crawls. I can look at them and smile like regular normal people do that when they take a photo at their house. Like, yeah. And then they want you to do anything beyond that. And I don't know what else to do. I tell them I could put my hands in my pockets or out of my pockets. I could smile like this or smile with no teeth or like don't smile. Those are the options. Like people are going like, like, you know, like, you know what I mean? Like, but so so here's another. OK, so what you should do because I had someone teach me how to do this back in the day. You have a technique. Three quarter turn. So you find the pose that you can work with that you look good in and just do that. Don't listen to them. Just I learned the three quarter turn back in my Chelsea lately days on the red carpet. You just you put your hands on your hips. Yeah, you do a three quarter turn towards the camera. I don't like a profile, though, either. So that's a thing. It'll thin you out. I got a Jack Nicholson going on. Yeah, so that that's what thins you out. OK, so the three quarter turn. You turn three quarters, but I put my hands on my hips and that thins you out. You can see there's real up the next. The last bad thoughts, Tom and I, I do the pose there. But if you find the one pose, just do that one. Like, look how she's posing like that's you have to think about that and do that. And then be confident enough to not feel like a moron doing that. Oh, that's the worst part. I don't have it in me. I just don't have it. OK, see that hand. There you go. There's my three quarter turn. Hands on the hips, one foot in front of the other. Great. Thanks, buddy. Thanks, pal. OK, there's fat burnt. So you just have to find one pose. Oh, and then learn like your one angle when that's it. Yeah, I always look so awkward on those things. Of course. And they're all flashing and I'm just like. Something always ends up with like a hand like friends. They're funny like there's always like a like a misplaced hand. I'm always just like like. Yeah, I just I'll never have it. I'll never have that confidence. No, no, no, I know you're talking about it. Those videos that you see like Natasha Leon, I just watched one of her and she was like, yeah. Like they know how to do the angles perfectly. I know. And I'm like, that's years of experience. Yeah. Yeah. That's a lifetime in showbiz. I'm just thinking in my head like. They're not embarrassed. Oh my God, I'd be so. Are they not embarrassed? But they're not because like they're given they're doing it right. I just I just I feel so I make everyone feel uncomfortable because I say I'm just letting you know that this is the most uncomfortable thing I have to do. I don't feel like I can do it. And you're all staring at me. I feel stupid. And so just and now they're like, oh, come on. What's your favorite music? And they like they put on a song I might like like it. All of a sudden I'm going to be like, oh, because they want that photo of you. Yeah. Well, the thing is that this is what I learned to like if you do anything, you like sometimes you don't get to go pick. No, no, pick the one. And that's what I'm saying. And then I'm like, all right, so that's it then. You're not getting any of you're not getting anything but me just smiling. Being what that's right because they fucked me up a few times where I in the beginning, I was so excited to be on red carpet that I was like. Just a asshole. And then yeah, there you go. That's up to the fucking or like a photo shoot, like a photo shoot when you go. Like that's that's like. I won't do it anymore. And like the photographer is trying to like bond with you. Like I don't know. People don't know this. But like it's out of my realm. So when I go doing that, like, hey, how you doing? Like, so what do you like to do? Like, well, let's talk about stuff you like. So like they think like, you know, because then you're going to get a photo of you that feels like, you know, you're in a headspace of like, because you're talking about puppies or whatever. I know. The worst is when it's a male photographer and they try to flirt with you. Or they'll be like, I have a guy you like right now. I think of a guy that's sexy and I'd be like, I'm going to throw up. Like I'm not that. I can't. I'm not that girl. 30 people watching you too. It's it's it's it's people might not relate to this, but this is my point. I can't relate to it. I can't either. It's it's it's weird and they make you do it. So maybe that's why we're podcasting. Oh, speaking of this, why this is why you, my friend, you have a new podcast slash talk show called the Manoosh. You're just Manoosh Manoosh. Yeah, Manoosh. It's yeah, sure. For Manoosh, it's like it's a talk show. It's ridiculous. It's like very absurd. It's like it goes in and out of like ridiculous talking points and like sketch comedy and it's all it's all bits. How fun. It's almost like in between two ferns meets like a talk show. But it's not it's not like I'm not. It's like that's not the angle I do. Not like that, like how he's like a, you know, a dick to the gas, right? But it is like all bits going back and forth and it goes in and out of like real conversation and bits. That's awesome. It's cool. It's been a lot of fun. We got it. We've we've I'm doing a shooting a scene shooting it by season. So I'm doing 12 episodes for the first season and we've had some really good guests on. I just do it will forte. I'm doing a Paul Rudd. I'm hoping method man comes on. Yeah. It's gonna be. It sounds awesome. Yeah. Just some really fun guests we've had so far. Richard Kynes going to do it, which is season. Yeah. Yeah. I can't wait to have him on. He's I mean, yeah, I'm just doing people that would be really fun to, you know, like to play along. That's the secret of this is having the fun ones that you're excited about. Like you and I love you. Oh, also, also come see him. Do stand up comedy cell vulcano.com. Am I seeing your last vulcano? Yeah. Volcano. Volcano. Volcano. But 99% of people say volcano. I've accepted it. Volcano.com. Where are you going? How are you going? Upcoming I have Atlantic City. I have the Rhyman and Nashville. That's a big meatball. In Florida, there's probably like 30 or 40 cities up there. I'm always I'm always adding more, but it's like, you know, you know, it is. I've been touring this since 24. I'll tour it through 27. I'm going to the UK, Canada. So yeah, by the time it's all said and done, I'll have done, you know, a good hundred and 25, 30 cities. It's awesome. Yeah. Good for you. Yeah. It's it's a chugging. Well, he's very funny. Go see him. So before I let you go, though, do you know what you like to do? Some tick talks with me? Yes, I do. OK. As you know, we feature the marginalized community. You know, I just what there's just no shame. What? You know, shame, you know, it's fun. It's fun. It was fun. Well, I like this lane of tech talks, the the empowered farting women because truth be told. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's a whole thing. Well, she's getting paid for these farts. Don't think that this is free. So what do you mean? So like there's a whole lane of ladies who are far into a jar or so far. Yeah. And like she'll send you a smell, a fart in a jar or they'll be like fart on the cake and send me, you know, 50 bucks. I'll fuck her. Oh, really? I know there was that one girl that was doing it, right? And then she like something happened. I don't know. Like I heard about one girl that was like farting into a jar and mailing it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the thing. That's crazy. You know, I have recurring nightmares that I'm poor again. And then I've I've lost. Do you have? I don't know. That's the theme of my nightmares. Is that like I have to start from scratch again and I never made it in showbiz. Yeah. And in the dream, inevitably, I remember that I have some kind of social media following and then I'll be like, but I can sell feet picks or I can fart in a jar. You have a you have a last resort. You can. I mean, you really can. God, please. I mean, people are doing it. I get a viable option. I really I just don't know how they fart on command like that. I think it's prep. Oh, I think you have to plan for the shoot. OK, you know, like I know if I eat minestrone soup in three hours, it's going to happen. OK, OK. So you have your way. If you need to do it, you have it. You have an in. And if you have slapped Tina before, but why? She would be walking around looking sad. Well, looking sad with a little drop and I keep asking her, and what is the matter with you? Yeah, it was always nothing. And it would go on for a day or two to finally wind up. Don't you? And then this is where I was slapped or something. Then she would change her mood or attitude. Eighties did not give a fuck. I knew that he did that. I didn't know he went on and just talked about it like that. I know, it's like such a. Oh, my God, that is a fucking shame. He's like, she got a droopy lip for like one or two days. Finally, I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Like she won't. And he said, would he say she's like sad or something? Yeah, he had to slap her out of her. Well, you're not listening. OK, the point is that she had a bad attitude and he doesn't want to be around a bummer like that, which I understand. Don't you hate it when your wife has got a bad attitude? But even back then there wasn't backlash from that. I don't know. I think I think everybody knew that Ike was beating her. Like right. But he's talking about it like on a current affair. Babe, you're tying out. Remember when her movie came out, What's Love Got To Do With It? And then everybody knew what a piece of shit he was. And then he was demonized alive. Is he alive? He's like, turn her. Is he alive? I hope not. No, he's not alive. OK. Yeah, I remember that one with Sean Connery. That was a call in tears. Like a woman needs to be slapped. Yeah, every once in a while she's not listening. I know, but my dad will be like, yes, of course, she's right. This generation of men is like, yes, of course, these women need to shut the fuck up. Oh my God. What are you frowning? That's crazy. And he said that in an interview. I know. He looks. Look how dope he looks, though. He's got. He looks fly. Yeah, I will tell you that. He definitely looks like a pen person. Sometimes you got to wake up and drink some coffee. Eat a donut. What do you think? Well, her complexion is a red flag. Yeah. But sometimes you need to wake up and have a coffee and have a donut. She speaks to truth. She does. Where do you get these things? I always wonder. Every time I come on here, I'm like, I don't come across these videos that you guys do. Hashtag blessed. Yeah. That's because, like, I love this stuff. This is, you know, it's just. There was a time when you didn't have this. No, you know, like we didn't have access to these types of things. You know, no, really. No, you had to get like a VHS tape that was full of weirdos doing weird stuff or like you had to find them. Like Gigi Allen was like my introduction into weird. And I was like, oh, this is fucking. Public access shows. Yeah. You're like, oh, this is where the weirdos hang out. Yeah. Public access. Right. Yeah. That that would be it really. But who is she? Well, what's her story? You know, it's a mystery. Yeah. It's a crime. Yeah. Well, she's missing a few teeth, so she's had donuts. But she seems like she's happy. Oh, she's chilling. Yeah. She's having a better day than most people. Yeah. I seem happy. I love you, Nick, but sometimes I feel like there's a lot of couple of privilege between you and Mellie. And that makes me feel like a mistress sometimes. Wait, me. Look, I don't want you to feel that way. How can I improve this? Like, when do you feel like that the most? It's mainly around the times I get to see you. Yeah. I get to see you on the weekends. And Mellie gets to see you on the weekdays. And I understand this because you work from home. And it just makes me feel like I'm like some weekend lover or something. I totally get that, Amy. You're acting. I'm totally fine. You take in more time because I only need to see Nick three times a week. Hold on. These two will fight over Nick. Come on out. Well, if you don't know how to navigate being in a threple, these videos help you navigate how to be in a threple. That's what this is. This is like, but they're not a real threple. This is. No, no. No, they're really in a threple. And they're doing like threple advocacy where they teach you how to be in a threple. That's. So they're acting out like how they would have. Oh, my God. We'll find out what's happening with Nick. We create a polycule agreement with things that we all agree upon. No one speaks like this. That sounds great. That sounds great. Maybe we can start by rotating the weekdays and weekends a bit more. For Nick, bro. I can have some time with him during the week. Absolutely. We're going to be in a team together. Make sure you're on the same page. Yes. Let's do that. You're happy. He's barefoot. And feelings of equity. Oh, my God. This is horrendous. Where's the guy who was in the narrow's asshole, please? Can we get him back over? This is horrible. I'd rather watch the narrow. This is so cringy. I know. He's like, I totally understand your need for anqueen. Could you imagine talking to your wife like that? It's it's that's a real, real couple. That's real. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Threple, whatever. These dorks, they fuck each other. And then they want to like tell you how to do this too. So then they'll put instruction. It's crazy that they'd be progressive enough to be in this situation, but then still need to make a video to explain how to do it the right way. You know what I mean? All right. It's I know it's like you're so progressive. You're there. Yeah, it's like you're already there. You're so progressive. And you still got to be like, I need to explain something. It's just it's just a weird like it's just it's just I don't know. It's just that's a lifestyle that is so out of my. Oh, like, buddy, you and me both. Satanism, baby eating, polyamory, thrumpling. Yeah, I always leave here with an anxiety attack. Every time I come on, I like think about the videos for days after. Yeah. And I'm just like, oh, fuck. Because this is what I this these are like my nightmares that I think about a lot. Like I love I just love trauma. Like I can't do chit chat. I just got to talk about the dark shit. I can't do small talk. I can't. Yeah. See that we were different in that way. We're different. I the manouche, I thought I'm on a small talk. Oh, the whole thing is it's really big. Guess really small talk. I love. Yeah. But it's like, yeah, the trauma I try to stay away from. But I know what I'm entering into when I get here. Yeah, you you you you buckled up. You know, you did your. This is like this is like my trauma to fill for the I fill of my cup here. And then I till the next time I see you. Then you die. Well, guys, check out Sal's new podcast. That's actually a talk show called Manouche. Go see him on the road. Is you got some great gigs coming up? Yeah, I feel like I should be calling out a few specific ones, but I'm blanking right now. You're doing great. Check him out. Yeah. Jokers is on right now on new episodes every Thursday. TBS. And we just actually we just got our highest ratings ever. What? Congratulations. Show is growing, finding an audience right now. I think a lot of it has to do with like TikTok and stuff. Great. Well, it's a great show. It's such like a fun show to watch. It's like hanging out with your best friends. Yes, it's fun to do. Yeah. Well, you guys are the best. And we love you. Thank you for coming. Thank you for letting me horrify you, Sal. No, this was great. Thank you for having me. Take care. My mommy. See you. Hello. Excuse me. Excuse me. Can I talk to you? Please, girls. I'm trying to say, girl. Kiss my neck. Girl, pink and pink. Hey, girl, track it off. I'm trying to say, girl. Kiss my neck. Girl, pink and pink. Hey, girl, track it off. My hands are your thighs. Baby, rub it up and down. Rub it up and down. Rub it up and down. My hands are your thighs. Baby, rub it up and down. Rub it up and down. Kiss your neck. Girl, kiss my neck. Girl, kiss my neck. Girl, pink and pink. Hey, girl, track it off. Baby, rub it up and down. I'm trying to say, girl. Kiss my neck. Girl, pink and pink. Hey, girl, track it off. Baby, rub it up and down. Rub it up and down. Rub it up and down. Rub it up and down. Rub it up and down. Rub it up and down. Rub it up and down.