Cat Class Is In Session: Keleigh Schettler’s Purr-fect Quiz

You're listening to Pet Candy. This show was brought to you by Zoetis, maker of Celensia. Learn more at www.zoetispetcare.com. We'll be right back with more Pet Candy. What's considered normal for your cat is interesting. You know your cat's normal behavior better than anyone, quarks and all. But if your cat is acting differently, it may be time to talk to your vet about Celensia for an event-mavenjection. Changes in your cat's everyday behavior could mean they need help getting back to their quirky self. Ask your vet about how you could help your cat get back to their normal, whatever that means for them. Visit Celensia.com to learn more. Welcome to Cat Daddy, the only game show where the cats are smarter than us, the points don't matter, and I might actually be wearing my cats fur as a fashion statement right now. I'm Clay Palmer, here with my constant companion, a cat who's probably judging me for saying companion in front of them. And I'm Caitlin Palmer, currently on thin ice with my several cats because I dared to leave the house today. And today we have the delightful Kelly Shettler, the remote veterinary hospital manager who spends more time with spreadsheets than some of us spend with our own family. Kelly, welcome to the show. Thank you. Well, we are so excited to have you. Tell us, how does one manage a hospital remotely? Very, very carefully, lots of texting and phone calls and lots of spreadsheets, of course. Oh, of course, I've never understood spreadsheets. Most people don't, and sometimes I regret the amount of knowledge I have about them. Yeah, like you've made yourself indisposable and it's ruined your life. That, and sometimes I just go in like a circular format with the spreadsheets. Like I have a spreadsheet for my spreadsheets. Oh, no. That sounds like me with my content calendars. Yeah, that's kind of like a backup calendar. Yeah, it's like a hyper fixation type thing. Yes. Yeah, because you're that type of personality. Yeah, you know, I don't like to own it, but sometimes I have to. I have to do a boss do it. I learned once a long time ago how to use Microsoft Excel and I have forgotten sets. I learned it for the test. Yeah, that was about it. Yeah. And it's a shame because it's a useful tool. It is. But I never had any. Competition, they have Microsoft Excel competitions, like a global competition where people just use Excel. That is so nerdy. Yeah, it's not so boring. You know, you think it would be boring, but I may or may not have watched a few hours of it. A few hours of it. Don't judge me. There's a lot of competitors. We listen and we don't judge. There you go. All right, let's jump in before the cats notice we're talking about them and try to shut us down. Round one, literally true or not. In this round, we'll present you with some mind blowing cat facts and you, Kelly, will decide whether they're true or false. Think of it like being a judge in a reality show, but with more fur and fewer contestants, then can actually talk. All right, Kelly, coming up on question number one, there's going to be three possible answers. In our true or false? Because we're going to justify the true or false. Question number one. An ancient Egypt killing a cat even by accident was punishable by death. Is that a true, but only if you made a real mess of it? B, false. Cats were too sacred to kill, but you could probably just bribe your way out of it with a bowl of tuna. Or C, true. Egyptians would throw cats at their enemies to surrender. I really wish C was true. That would be entertaining, but I'm going to go with A. C is actually true. I know, isn't that crazy? It's rumored that they used cats and battles. Guess Cleopatra wasn't the only one who knew how to throw shade. So deep did they believe that cats were divine that they would actually implement that? Right. Yeah. You wouldn't hurt a sacred cat, would you? Although you did get it half right because it is still true. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. But I didn't get the reasoning behind it. I wanted C to be true. I should have just gone with my gut feeling. Always go with your gut. It's only C. I like A. True, but only if you made a real mess about it. How did you accidentally kill this cat to make that much of a mess? Where it's like, all right, kill him. We're done. Oh, beans. Oh, beans. All right. Question two. A cat's nose print is as unique as a human fingerprint. A. True, but don't ask your cat to volunteer for a police lineup. B. False. Their nose is all looked the same if you squint hard enough. Or C. True. So you can officially stop trying to get your cat into law enforcement. I'm going to go with C. True, but don't even think about trying to fingerprint your cat. You'll get a claw to the face instead. Question number three. Cats can't see the color red. A. True, which is why they ignore your red laser pointer. B. False. They can see some red. But they really prefer blues and yellows. Or C. True. Red is just too hot for their delicate eyes. This is another one where I want C to be the correct one. But I'm going to go with B here. B is correct. They do see red, sort of. But no wonder they're not impressed with your red laser. They're just not that into it. Stop being so desperate, Kelly. My bad. What? Round two. Who's the category? Play the copyrighted jeopardy music right now. Really? I really need you to keep the verbal description. Please. Play subtitles are the best subtitles. Now let's see if you can guess which famous feline holds these bizarre records. We're talking real legends, Kelly. Not your average everyday cat video. Question number one. Which cat served as mayor of Tall Keetna, Alaska for 20 years? A. Stubbs the napping mayor with political skills that rival every politician. B. Mayor Whiskers. He always made tough decisions like doing nap now or after lunch. Or C. Miaostrom McFleafington. The cat whose platform was entirely based on fluff. Where, while I would vote for any of these, we're going to go with A. A is correct. Stubbs. This cat was so laid back, he basically invented the take a nap during your shift approach to politics. I would have understood if you went with B because it does have mayor in his name. It does. Which I would think qualifies him. Well, I'm with Kelly on this. I would vote for any of these guys. But Stubbs, an actual icon. Stubbs is a good cat name. Flash tag goals. Question two. Which cat holds the Guinness World Record for the longest jump by a domestic cat? A. Ali, who jumped six feet and still only got a meh from his human. B. Waffle the warrior cat who jumped seven feet because why not? Or see fluffy McAirborne who jumped over the moon just because he could. Fluffy McAirborne. We're going to go with B. B is correct. Waffle the warrior cat. He cleared seven feet. He's basically an Olympic athlete. Eat your heart out if you sink bolt. Who is not known for jumping, but eat it out anyway. He runs extremely fast. Not particularly known for his jumps. With a name like waffle, it's got to be good. All right, are you ready for question number three? Let's go. Which cat inherited $13 million from their owner, making them the richest cat in history? A. Blacky, the cat who invested in real estate and used all his inheritance on tuna. B. Also, a stray cat who went from living on the streets to a penthouse with gold-plated tunables. Or see, Serp her is a lot who used his fortune to buy a catnip empire. I don't know, but I'm really jealous of whoever. We're going to go with Tomaso. Tomaso is correct. This lucky kitty went from Ali to absolute luxury. Proof that sometimes being a stray just means you've hit the jackpot. It really just found a wild cat and gave him $13 million. Right. If I had it, I would. No, same. But also, I'm like a little jealous of Tomaso. Absolutely. I mean, somebody rich to be like, hey, can I give you $13 million? And then I'll share with all the stray cats. Sure, sure. I want a sugar friend. A sugar friend? Yes. I'm just like, hey girl, how you doing? I'm like, I'm great. How are you? I'm going to the store. Do you need anything? And they're like, no, I'm good. But thanks. Here's $7,000. Well, you know, they could give Tomaso the money. And I could be his caregiver and me and Tomaso could share a sugar cat. Absolutely. Oh, gosh, a sugar cat sounds even better. I like your idea better. Assuming a cat would give you anything. I was going to say it. I think we need the cat. That might be too much power. Yeah, they already kind of have a power. Tomaso, can I please borrow $20 in gas? And it's just like, kill this peasant. Be gone with me. I'm sorry. What wasn't you wanted food? I did not call for a jester. You may go get yourself a 50 cent can of tuna. Is what you made. Actually, bring me a can of tuna. You can have the leftovers in the sky. You can have what's left. If any. Round three, the lightning round, fast and furious. Answer fast and don't let the meow timer run out. Number one, what percentage of a cat's life is spent sleeping? A, 60 percent. B, 70 percent. Or C, 99 percent because seriously they never move. I'm going to go with C. 99 percent? Yeah, why not? Go bigger. You want your final answer? Yeah. Well, close. The correct answer is B, 70 percent. The other 30 percent, they spend knocking things off the table for fun. Hmm, very true. I like how you were fishing. I had to stick to my guns on that one because I feel like my cats. It's done you well so far. It has. It has. That's the first one you've actually missed. That's the 99 percent man. I'm pretty sure that's my cats right there. You girl bossed a little too close to the sun, but it's okay. We've got time. It happens. Girl boss, I could ask you know. Yeah. Question two, what is a group of cats called? A, a clouter, B, a gangster for a clique. C, a parliament because they're always debating about food. They're going to go with A, a clouter. A clouter is correct. Or if they're judging you, it's a glaring. You know what I'm talking about. Everyone knows what that's like. Question number three, how many muscles do cats have in each ear? A, 10 because that's all they need to look cute. B, 32. That's why they can hear you being a can of tuna from two blocks away. Or C, 150 because they wanted to make sure you knew they were paying attention. We're going to go with B, 32. It is correct, 32 because they're like hearing ninjas. They'll edit like you edit. I'll say something stupid and he'll be like, I have to cut that out and then he doesn't. It's part of the joke. We've got some rapid fire questions. We're going to ask a question. They're not multiple choice. You just have to tell us right off the top of your head. Yeah, this one's brutal. This one's a little rough. This one's a little rough. I know. And I'm going rough in a cat game show. My God. If you were a contestant, you'd be discolored. Oh, God, you're right. You're right. I'm so sorry. Disqualified. There we go. Okay. And I'm back, baby. Play a good pun sound effect. All right. Rapid fire. Are you ready? Yep. Let's go. Which cat breed is known for being dog-like? Bingle. The correct answer is a main coon. Although, bangles do have some dog-like qualities. What is the rarest cat coat color? Let's go with white. True cinnamon is the rarest cat color. I've never even heard of that color. I haven't either. Sounds like something I'd want to put in my coffee. Absolutely. True cinnamon cat cafe. None of that fake cinnamon, okay? No, I want true cinnamon. If I'm getting cinnamon, I want true cinnamon. I want true cinnamon harvested from the pillars of heaven themselves. Correct. Why do cats hate cucumbers? I would have seen because they remind them of some sort of snake. That is correct. They think they're snakes. How fast can a domestic cat run? Ooh, we're going to go with 45 miles per hour. Close, 30 miles per hour, which is faster than you say in bolt. Yeah, this time you say in bolt is applicable. Which United States president had two cats named Socks? We're going to go with Teddy Roosevelt. Bill Clinton is the correct answer. Wait, both the cats were named Socks? Yeah, two cats named Socks. You had a hard time coming up with names. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you normally have two Socks, but... Well, maybe it was the kids cat and it died. And he was like, oh no. Oh, we had to do the old picture room. Like how your grandma had a dog named Missy for 50 years. He had to swap the cats out like he was in the head of Jones. And like imagine they didn't even look the same. But obviously this news got out, so the kid had to find out from media. Yeah. Yeah, they found out like embarrassingly late in life. The kids are like 26. He's like, dad, bro. What happened to Socks the first? Yes, the first. I thought it was weird that we changed his name to Socks the second. Yeah. I mean, presidency does weird things to a guy. What can I say? Kelly, what percentage of cats are ambidextrous? Let's go with 100%. The correct answer is 60%. Okay. Sorry. All right, Kelly, which country has more cats than people? Oh, let's go with China. Close Japan. What is the scientific term for a cat's hairball? Uh, home, man, I know this. Yeah, you know what? It's not kind of. You know, that's a hard one. I'm going to give you a hint. It does start with a T. A T? Nope. Don't got it. I'll give you partial credit. Because this one's hard. Okay. Okay. Let's see. It starts with a T. So I should know this. I really should, especially because my cats get hairballs. We're going to go with a tonsil stone. That sounds like a pretty good colloquialism for hairball. We just call it throughput. I think my cats got them damn tonsil stones again. Better get them into the vent. I get them on up to the vent. Please tell me it's actually throat poop. It looks and smells like fur poop. It does. It's a Trico Bésor. Oh, see, I would have probably gotten the Bésor part, but not the Trico Bésor. Yeah, I've never heard of Trico Bésor. I've definitely heard of Bésor. Or Bésor. I don't think so. I always said Bésor stone. Yeah. That's T-R-I-C-H-O-B-E-Z-O-A-R. That makes sense because in Trico, and not short for hair, I think so. Probably. It's some scientific term. Yeah. I mean, don't take my word for it because this is like an educational podcast and I'd hate to educate people. Allegedly. Allegedly. All right. Why do cats bring you dead animals? They're trying to teach you how to hunt, man. That is correct because they think you're a bad hunter. You're a kitten who cannot take care of yourself and they just can't let you starve to death. You're a big dumb hairless cat and they're like, this dude's gonna starve to death if I don't bring him some dead rats. See, cats aren't as big assholes as we make them out to be. Right. People say they bring it to you because they're happy or whatever. It's really because they're just, they show the barest amount of concern for your well-being. If you starve, you cannot open the tuna. Yeah. You heard that or maybe it's just like they're so disgusted with you that they have to make a point. Right. They can't even finish their food. They're just like, eh. All right. I'm gonna do this next question because this next question is bullshit. It really is. I love a preface. What is the least popular cat name in the US? And you can just take, you can just take a guess. It's fine. Cat. Cat. See, that's pretty good. Uh, it's fluffy, apparently. Uh, uh, uh. But that can't be true because the least popular cat name would be whatever cat name doesn't exist for a cat in the US. Like, Reginald Thunder Bottom. That's the least popular because it's not a single cat named that. I bet you there is. There might be actually I went too far on the cat. Uh, now I can't say Windows. So that's a pretty good cat name too. Actually, I'm back in myself into a corner. I don't know. Drywall. Drywall. Drywall is a good name. Trash bag. Trash bag. Honestly, there's probably a few trash bags. I think a few trash bags. Yeah. Yeah. Air purifier. Yeah. I'm just looking around my bedroom. Um, um, this is green screen. Yeah. Uh, room spray. Uh, right. Yeah. Room spray. Red bull. Red bull is a good one though. I don't know. Purple can. Purple can. Yeah, there you go. I can test fluffy. I can test it. Yeah, I can test fluffy too. Yeah, let's not count that one. I actually didn't count any. I did keep track of how many of those you got wrong, but I'm not counting those against you. I did give you credit for the ones you got right though. Thank you. A little later. Do what? You are a benevolent lead. Yeah. Those were hard. Much kind. Okay, this is multiple choice. You can rent a cat for solo cuddle sessions at a cafe. What's the deal? A. Yes, you can, but only if you sign a 24 hour cuddle contract. B. Nope, but shelters do let you borrow cats for play dates. Or C. Only on Tuesdays. And the cats rate your snuggling skills. We're going to go with A. Close. The correct answer is B. While cat cafes do exist, you can't rent cats there. But some shelters do offer short term feline hangouts. All right, cool. Looks like I'm going to Japan. I like the cuddle contract. That's why I was like, okay, maybe it's just like a contract. Like, don't hurt the cat. Don't give the cat. I'm actually, you do have to cuddle some cuddle some kind of waiver. Oh my god. I'm taking it. Someone on the hand. You have to cuddle this waiver before you get to cuddle the cat. Oh no, and then the waiver. Then the waiver. Fuses. Oh, Mars a lawyer. He probably cuddles waivers. I'm like, oh, I love you waivers. I love you non-disclosure and I like that. There's companies that send people to cuddle you. And that is true. All right. Question two. A cat's per vibrates at the same frequency as a diesel engine idling. B. A hummingbird's wings. Or C. A phone on vibrate. We are going to go with B. A hummingbird's wings. A. A. A. A diesel engine idling. I am still good with cat questions. The first vibrate at 25 to 150 hertz. Your lap cat is basically a little vehicle. I love it. It's a vehicle for destruction. Right. A symphony of destruction. I have to go fill my cat up with diesel. Well, don't do that. Yeah, please don't do it. I can't advise or condone that. All right. Question number three. The most cats ever living in one house was a 1200 cats. That's at California's cat house on the kings. B. 42. The meaning of life, the universe, and cat hoarding. Or C. A number so high, the neighbors filed a noise complaint. We are going to go with A. A is correct. That's a real sanctuary and she has staff. Wonderful. I love that. She's actually really, really nice. She had a huge house and she bought a trailer home and put it on the same property that the cat's going to have the whole house. And she stays in the trailer with more cats. I do too. I would do it. I feel like she doesn't have staff. I feel like the cat's house. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. But she has a 100% cat's house staff. Yeah, exactly. But that's so nice. That's such a nice person. It is. It's really nice. I watched a video about it because you hear that and you're like, you. Right. Yeah, you're like 1200 cats. That's too many cats. It's a lot of cats. There's a lot of litter boxes. They probably should have a big sand pit outside. Yeah. The poop trough. Yeah. Welcome to Dookie Mountain. Dookie Mountain. Dookie Mountain. Dookie Mountain. Dookie Mountain Tally. This is the last category. Are you ready? You've got three more. I can do this. All right. Who's the category part two? Two, two, two, two, two. It's the Dirty Double. This cat survived three shipwrecks in World War Two and was dubbed Unsinkable Sam. A. Simon HMS Amethyst's Hero Cat. B. Oscar. The Bismarck's Feline Survivor. They're only two. I read it like there was a third answer. There are only two. Why they call them Unsinkable Sam? And neither of those names match. And neither of them are Sam. He survived three consecutive shipwrecks. We're going to go with Oscar. That's actually correct. He was later renamed Sam because he was just that lucky. Oscar being the O is the symbol, the maritime symbol for Man Overboard. That's upsetting. That's why they changed it. They were like, this is bad, Juju. They named him, you know, bait Oscar for O overboard before the sinking. He was one of like six cats. So they manifested that. Yeah, they made that happen. And he became Unsinkable Sam. I feel like he had to be like an orange tabby. He was a Tixedo Cat. Oh, so he's fancy. He's like so fancy. He's so very fancy. I'm just English gentleman. Look at how he's sitting. Niz. Question number two. This cat ran for the US Senate in 2012 on the tuna party platform. This is a real thing that happened. A, Hank the Cat from Virginia. Or B, Mittens the Cat from Maine. It's definitely Hank the Cat from Virginia. Hank is correct. He pulled higher than some humans. So politicians just be cats. Just be cats. Mittens messes me up because we just talked about Jason's team. Oh, Mittens. Oh, Mittens. No. Oh, Mittens. No. I forgot all about Mittens. I'm so big cat. I feel like a piece of my brain has been unlocked. Like you picked that little piece. I'm in college again. And that is the funniest shit in the world. Oh, yeah. Oh, so good. The Lizardus Bugetti. Yeah. It looks like he died from a stab. And then the cat goes over and starts making biscuits to the contestants. Oh, Mittens. All right. Question three. This cat inherited 13 million fortune, but donated all to dog shelters. Blackie, the British philanthropist, or B, lies no cat would ever do this. I mean, the moose is the only cat I know that got 13 million dollars. However, we're going to go with B, lies no cat would ever do this. That's true. No cat is that generous. They're all tiny little carpet demons. And they're not sharing their riches. We already determined that Tomasso would literally give me the remnants of a 56. Yeah. Also, there's no way there would be two cats. So it inherit 13 million dollars. That is very specific. Very specific. I wonder if you, so like if we died, would we split our fortune among our cats? Like would each cat get their own penny? Their own penny. Yeah. Which means we're either very poor, or we have a shit ton of cats. A metric-ass ton of cats. I was going to say, okay, Caitlin, I'd be giving mine each a nickel apiece. Come on. Come on. We weren't all born with a nickel in our house. A Gerber life grow-up plan. So... Do you remember affordable housing? We've perforged farm remembers. All right, Kelly, you survived. Who's your cat daddy? How does it feel to be crowned the ultimate cat trivia champion? Amazing. I could not have asked for a better report. I would like to thank all of the people that my cat stepped on for me to get here. Oh, yes. This is where we would put a slideshow and have... I will repeat the answer. I don't know. Could you do the Sarah Maboklan ASPCA one? That's too sad. It would make me cry. It is. I think it would be more of a memorial for all of the body parts that were smushed. Yeah, that were stepped on where you were trying to sleep. Yeah. I could even hear those where Tiddy is. Yeah, at all times. Tiddy is. Yep. Tiddy or Blatter, whatever's closer. Yeah. Yeah. Mine always knows where my open mouth is with his paw. Oh, no. Smells like litter, so. And for all you cat lovers out there, if you think you've got what it takes to match with us, challenge us next time. Until then, this has been Cat Daddy on Pet Candy. It's Pet Candy. Pet Candy. It's Pet Candy. Pet Candy. It's Pet Candy radio. You can't believe it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.