Leaving Her Dream Job for Menopause Advocacy: Tamsen Fadal on HRT & Purpose After 50

You're on TV, documentary, book publishing, which of those felt the most vulnerable for you? That's a great question. Because you're a journalist, you've been on TV forever, but you're talking about a taboo subject, you know? But I told other people stories on TV. I didn't tell my own. And so I think that was a big difference for me of like that it came back to my story. So when I first went on social, you know, I mean, I've told you this. I went to TikTok first because I was like, I know a lot of people on Instagram and I don't know if I want to have them hear me talk about this subject because I don't know what their opinion is going to be at me. That's how ingrained it was in my brain of like the age of some because, you know, I grew up in TV and there's a shelf life, right? There's a shelf life baby. There's no driving us Daisy in journalism. Oh, no. The views and opinions expressed on unpause are those of the talent and guests alone and are provided for informational and entertainment purposes only. No part of this podcast are any related materials are intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. When I first met our next guest, Amy award winning journalist and advocate, Hamson Fidel, we were at a menopause conference. Actually, my very first menopause conference, where I was on a panel. She was moderating. And as you've heard me say, that day was life changing for me. I met so many people who continue to be important parts of my world. And several of them, you'll hear on this podcast, including Naomi Watts, Dr. Sharon Malone, Dr. Carol Tavriss, and Dr. Averin Blooming in the lead up to the event, Hamson and I exchanged emails, just ideas flowing back and forth. And I felt an immediate connection. When we finally met in person on the day of the conference, I knew she was someone really special right away. At the time, she was already a well-known broadcaster, and she shared a powerful, very personal menopause story that really resonated with me. She was also in the middle of writing what would go on to be her New York Times best-selling book, How to Menopause. From that moment on, I fell in love with her. Since then, we've shared multiple stages together and navigated this menopause space as a pair. I had the privilege of being featured in her documentary, The M Factor, shredding the silence on menopause, as well as in her book. What I've come to know about Hamson is this. She's loyal and generous, and she's one of the fiercest champions for women in middle life that I know. I'm so excited to sit down with her today and talk about her journey, her advocacy, and the work she's doing to change the conversation around menopause. I'm Dr. Mary Claire Haver, a board-certified obstetrician and gynecologist and certified menopause practitioner. I'm also an adjunct professor of Stuttrexin gynecology at the University of Texas Medical Branch. Welcome to Unposed, the podcast where we cut through the silence and talk about what it really takes for women to thrive in the second half of life. Tamson, welcome to Unposed. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here. So for those of you out there listening, I want you to tell them your menopause story. That, to me, is one of the best things about a relationship is you telling me being about being on air and what happened to you. Yeah, and I didn't even know it was a menopause story at the time, which is the crazy part of it. So I was a news anchor for 30 years and I had been having some issues over time with all sorts of things that I later learned were symptoms of menopause, but the one in particular was a brain fog. And I didn't have a word for it. I just knew that I'd look at the teleprompter, which you to read every night, which I did for 30 years. I'd look at words and I'd be like, I know that word, but oh my gosh, I can't think of it. I would just like panic and then skip the word. So if you were listening too closely, it'd be like, what did you just say? That didn't make any sense. But this one particular night, it was November of 2019. And I remember it very well because I'd never left a live broadcast and not finished it. In this particular night that happened, we were, I was feeling a little off at the beginning of the show. There had been a word on the teleprompter, subpoena that I knew and didn't know and I skipped it. And I was just feeling like not myself in the middle of the commercial break. We were just going into the business report. And I just remember it because when you do the newscast, you remember like what you're going to do in each section of the hour. And we were in a commercial break and all of a sudden I got this, this feeling like of eruption of heat that went everywhere like my boobs got sweat, my underarms got sweat, my hair got sweat. And then my heart was racing out of control. And I felt like, I don't know if I'm going to fall over, throw up, faint. I don't know what's happening. I just need to get off the set. So I set out loud into a studio of all men. If I fall over someone catch me half jokingly, half like I don't really know what to do, but I got to finish the show. And one of the my co-anchors said, I think you need to get off the set. He said that I was like sweaty, like I broke out sweaty, like pale. So he brought me to the bathroom and I just laid down on the bathroom floor and just turned it cool off. The cold tile, like my head pressed, I'm like I was staring at the bottom of the toilet. You know, we're like you see the bottom of the toilet. I'm like, what am I doing? My right mind would never have done that in a dress. About 15, 20 minutes later, I got up and I was like, I think I'm okay, but what the hell? What was that? Yeah. And that moved me into the next stage. I think I need to figure out there's something going on with me. I don't know what's happening. And that's that me into motion of going one doctor to another doctor, figuring it out. I had my therapist say that it was stress. I got Lexa pro, you know, anxiety. So that that first time happened, were you starting to have similar situations happen? Or this is all from that that one, that was my big moment of like, what's going on with me? But what had been happening in this had been leading up to this for over a year, I was having massive bleeding. So I'd bleed for a month. Okay. And then nothing for three months. And then I'd bleed for like a month crazy and nothing. And I ended up what was going on. I ended me through my polyps. So they'd say like, ultra polyps, it's okay. Never. I got polyps removed. Yeah. I have, I have bibrids. No one ever said paramanopause. None in any of the, any of the rooms that have ever been in ever. And so that when I look back at that, that's I think the shocking part to me is that everybody had the opportunity. It wasn't like I was doing these one-off visits to the guy know. And, you know, maybe they didn't know what was going on. And the other symptoms were like sleep. And I'd had those for a few, you know, yeekers leading up to that. But this scared me in a big way. And that was my, I'm not a hot moment. But my, you know, oh my gosh, moment of what's happening with me. How was this playing out in your relationships, getting this diagnosis of stress and anxiety? Yeah. Well, you know, I had gone through a divorce years earlier. And I had hair falling out all over the floor. And I had weight loss. Then tons of weight gain. And then not sleeping. And, and so, you know, I think that I went to a couple of different places. This relationship that I was with, I was with Ira. I'm married, you know. And it was scary because it was like anxiety. And there was frustration. And there was a lot of moodyness. And I had dark, dark days. And I didn't know what they were from. And I'm like, is it my relationship? Is it my job? Is it my not knowing what I'm doing? Like what was going on? So I, I think that, you know, lucky for me, he's very patient. There's a lot of the roller coaster. Because there was a lot of the roller coaster. There was times even before, you know, when I was still getting my, my period, I'm like, am I pregnant? What's going on? You know, what, what is happening? Or if I wasn't getting it for three months, you know, am I pregnant? Right. Am I pregnant? It was, there are some weird things that happened during that time that I think we have definitely done such. And you know this better than anybody. It disservice to women who just feel confused. When did someone first say the word, perimenopause or menopause? Yeah. It was menopause. That's what they said. I went to those doctors after this. And I finally went to an OB that did my blood work. Like I went to a full blood work panel. And I got a note in my patient portal that was typed down and said, in menopause, that's not, not any questions. The doctor's signature, you know, his name. And I went, how could it be a menopause? What? Like I'm, I've been in my 40s still. Like I can be a menopause. But I had no idea that I was pretty not far from the average age in the US of menopause. And that was the first time in her the word. And I actually called the office. And I was like, this is I'm in menopause. Am I in menopause? Like I can't, are you telling me I can't have chill? What's going on? And I had already made the decision I wasn't having children. But that is very emotional. It is emotional, even if you've made that decision, especially when it's not on your radar or radar, it wasn't in my universe. It wasn't in my universe, menopause. And I think I've had a mix of a lot of emotions. Like am I old? Am it, is it over? Am I unsexy? Am I going to have sex anymore? And, and then I was like, what? How did this happen without me knowing? But I still didn't understand pregnant opause had been all those years. And that looking back was really the confusing part. So let's go back to your diagnosis of someone trying to hand you any depressants to hand me a Lexipro. Yeah, Lexipro. They, you know, SSRIs, they're in the category of this serotonin, and there is some data that says not Lexipro specifically, but they can help with hot flashes. So a lot of women, if they're listening, your doctors, because of this lack of training, which we'll get into in a minute, you know, that is one of the drugs that is quite often recommended. Actually, you're five times more likely to be recommended and antidepressant for your hot flashes than the gold standard of hormone therapy. When did hormone therapy become in your vocabulary? Well, so I got that diagnosis from that doctor and I was like, any questions, like how about any, what am I, what is this meat? Because I really didn't know. I didn't even think about symptoms. Did you Google it? I just didn't. Of course I did. And then I'm like, and you know, back then, I'm back then, you know, back then, five, six years, whatever it was now, there was a lot of medical stuff. And there was a lot of like not fun pictures at all. Right, golden girls. Right now. Right. It was awful. And I'm like, this is it. This is it. And then I realized I started looking at some of the symptoms. And I came across that number back then that was, I think it was like one billion women. It didn't even have one point one at that point. It was said one billion women will be a menopause by the year 2025. I remember that. And I went, what? How is that possible? And that's sort of how it started. But what I did also do is I went back. I can't, I kept paper files for a very long time of all my medical stuff. And I went back and I found something from an, um, an endocrinologist years before, uh, from my blood work that I done. And it said complaining of weight gain, not sleeping. That was it. No one had said bury menopause then. No, it was, it was like a written out, you know, I guess when you write it out and I have a copy of it. And I thought, wow, I've been dealing with this for a long time. And I had no idea. So I look at the symptoms and I'm like, oh my god, I had that, I had that, I had that, I had that. And here's where I am now. Yeah. But how about therapy? You know what's scary to me? Yeah. Well, let's talk about your mom. We're going to go there. Yeah. If you're okay with it. Yeah, of course. So your mom didn't get a chance to go through a metapause. Well, I don't even know what she did. You know, that's the unbelievable part. She was diagnosed with breast cancer at 44. So she had a, a mastectomy. And then she had a recurrence. And so she had another mastectomy. So I was, um, when she was 44, I was 14, okay. Years old. Then she had another mastectomy. And she went through radiation. She went through gold seed implants with the implant gold seed rate for radiation she went through chemotherapy, like maybe two, maybe more times. And I remembered it once I, once I started understanding more about metapause, I didn't even know there was a medical or surgical metapause. But I remember we would go to Lake George or any restaurant, we would go to Lake George in the summertime. And she would walk into a restaurant and she would be pouring sweat and she'd be like, I can't stand here. I'm too, I can't, I can't, it's just too, I'm too hot. I'm uncomfortable. She'd be throwing water on herself to like cooler self off. She was gaining weight. She had a stomach and where, where we'd be like, oh my gosh, you're, you're getting fat. And now I had no idea what she was going through. I had no idea. And I were really sad like a few years ago. And I went, oh my god, she was, when we used the word suffering, like she didn't talk to anybody about it. I don't even know if she knew, Eric Claire. I don't even know if she knew that she was in fact then. And, and, and if you dare complain, well, you're lucky to be alive. Oh, I'm sure that's what she was talking about. The response a lot of survivors here is you're complaining about sweating and vaginal dryness. You're not dead. Yeah. You know, you're not allowed to like live your fullest life possible. You should be happy. You're going through that and you're still here. And it's funny. You know, my dad's 85 years old. You know, I talk about him a lot. We were sitting in his apartment in Florida about a year and a half ago and he was writing the book and, you know, doing the documentary. I made my poor father read my, my manuscript, you know, four-kyed eleven chapters of what? He said, I was thinking, do you think your mom went through all this? Do you think that's why she was feeling like she did all the time? And I said, did she ever mention it to you? I don't know. And he said, never heard the word from her. So that unbelievable. Yeah. And this is all these years later, like years later. Yeah. He's reading and I'm sure he's put into and two together. I think so. I'm saying, wait a minute. That was probably what she was dealing with. And, you know, came with therapy, all of the treatments she went through and probably took her ovaries took a hit. And we weren't probably using some of the, you know, estrogen blockers like we are now at the time, which really kind of ramp up. Now you're in chemical menopause from the estrogen blockers, yeah. Some of the modern treatments. So yeah, that's amazing. Your dad was like, it was a moment for both of us where we were like, okay, and I said, it makes me really sad. He goes, yeah, it makes me sad too. It's one of those things you know, you'll never know. I assume I assume that that's what she went through. It was a medical menopause surgical. And she went through so much though with breast cancer. And so, when I heard hormone therapy, all I knew in the back of my head was estrogen's bad. Don't have anything to do with estrogen because your mom had breast cancer. I've gone through the brachitis. I've done all, I mean, I've had all the things since I was 35, but 34 actually, because 10 years, you know, before your mom is diagnosed. So I had a constant fear in my mind about this. Over fear. What made you change your mind? I got to several doctors. I was prescribed hormone therapy. The one doctor had pulled out a little calculator. And she's like, let me see if you are okay to do it. And I'm like, you're testing whether I can do hormone therapy on a calculator? Like what? That doesn't seem, you know, and I guess there's a score. There's a score. And she called my general practitioner. And you think it's okay if I put her and I'm like, I'm out of here. Like, if you don't know, then I don't know. Obviously, I started doing research. I'm a journalist and I was like, I have to figure out what's going on. I feel all, I was a mess for a long time. And the brain fog was the worst. It was very hard for me at work. You know, I had no confidence, no confidence, no confidence to add, live and talk, no confidence to retain information. When you sit down in front of the cameras there, you don't ever know what's going to go on. So you could be talking without a teleprompter for an hour, you know, on the news. But you have to keep going. Yes. Or there's a breaking news story. And you have to remember what's going on. And I had none of that confidence. So I was suffering there. And so I did have this conversation about hormone therapy. And she's been about a year and a half or two years before I was convinced that like I would do it. And I would fill the prescription, get the patches, get the progesterone, the progesterone would sit in my closet and like do there forever. And then finally I talked to a doctor that was certified, a menopause practitioner. And we really walked through like, here's what this is. Here's what's going on. Here's what it can do to help you. You know, we're not talking about, you know, trying to make your skin younger or feel like these are real things that you are dealing with right now that could potentially help. And you need to get sleep. And that was the big one. I was on the couch every night for like months trying to fall asleep. Right. So I started hormone therapy. And I will be honest that every time I put the patch on it for a year or two, I was what I'm doing. Yeah, of course, I was scared. Do you know, I did not know about the Women's Health Initiative and all the walkbacks. I just knew the headlines. I knew what the guidelines said, you know, lowest dose for the shortest time possible. I didn't even know the menopause society existed. Wow. That was not on my radar. When did you realize that? I was just when we all started talking. My first menopause conference with you. When I heard Sharon, oh my gosh, it just gave me such chills and Carol speaking. And I sat in that audience in LA and Santa Monica and cried. That wasn't like sobbing hysterically, but I had, I sat there and I thought, how did I not know this? You know, and I was just talking about waking in menopause at the time. This was Galson Diet days. Yeah. Of course, I remember that. I've come in this evolution, you know, and I learned more that day between them and Lisa Musconi and I'll never forget that day. I thought, I'm the expert. I'm bored, certified. I recertify every year and no one has talked to me about this. And suddenly, and I was on HRT reluctantly, but I thought I cannot live with all these symptoms. I'm just going to take the gamble and if I get cancer, I get it because I have a huge, I've lost two brothers to cancer. And I know. I think you and I have a lot of that shared life experience, right, of fear. Yeah. And it hangs over your head like a, every day. I mean, I don't know about you, but it's there. It's always there. It's built into the system. And even now, I have a patient who's higher risk or has gained the history. And now as I'm counseling, I have to put that 20 years of training like in a closet. So I can talk about the modern studies, but I get it that, you know, it's just built into everything you've learned, everything you've heard, and then you hear the new information and you're like, Oh my God, this is amazing. And I'm going to give one more thing. I know I'm telling you I put the patch and I'd be like this. As I was rubbing it on, you know, as I was like, you're doing something selfish for you. Like I was doing something selfish. I'm taking a chance. And that is, that is where we have to get away from. And you know, it's, it's funny as a journalist, because those headlines and the media did a lot of that disservice, right? Hey, I think in the back of my mind, it was, it was viral before there was viral, right? It was everywhere. It was selling newspapers. It was selling magazine. It was time magazine was selling because of the story. When we did the documentary, I didn't understand the, the depth and like the tentacles that had the, the antenna, you know, where it went, how, how, how it infiltrated the system. Like that study, it was, it was just so awful. And it wasn't just, just, just anybody. It was everything together. It was the media. It was the headlines. It was a press conference. It was, you know, how it was presented. It was all that. And so I think as a journalist, I kept going, how do I play my part to undo that message? Because I'm a real, I'm not a doctor. I'm a real woman that I understand that fear and, um, and the media was part of it. And I'm part of the media. Yeah. And so I think that that's where I have felt I stand in this. And I couldn't stop talking about it. I would sit on that news set at night after I realized all this. I'm like, okay, I'm going to talk about that. I was so not focused on anything except this message because I could not believe, I could not believe what this has done to women. You, my mom, I think about. So you've said, and correct me if I'm wrong, that you didn't say the word menopause on air for 30 years. No, we can talk about this. I mean, how many health stories had you done? Oh my gosh. We did, so we used to do health segments, you know, like it would be a health segment. That all the time. My, my face was on every billboard for breast cancer awareness because of my mom and to raise money and make sure we were talking about it. And then we do whatever months it was, we did diet stories. We did cholesterol stories. We did nutrition stories. We did anything, you know, blood pressure stories, whatever Alzheimer's we never talked about menopause. And when I started to bring it to the forefront because I was at that point, angering five hours of newscast every day. So I had 25 hours on live television to be able to talk. I'm like, let's do a story about menopause and they go, stop with the menopause, like a stop. And that was scary to do because I thought, oh my gosh, I am, I'm age myself out fast. But then I realized, oh my gosh, if I'm not talking about it, who's going to? Yeah. As I started pushing it into every news, every way I could find. I'm like, but we can also do this story and also do, you know, and then my algorithm changed. So all I was getting was metopause news. And so I pushed it and pushed it and you know, I brought us on television and did a lot of different things because I really believe if people, wherever we can reach people, we have to reach people. Yeah. And that's one of the places. Do you think it surprised your bosses and then at work how much because these stories hit hard? Women were into it. They're like, whoa, someone said, that's what happened with me. You know, someone said the word menopause on air. And instead of like their eyes rolling back, I think women were like leaning into the conversation. Oh, 100%. So when I first brought it on, I think there was all the eye rolling, right? And then I remember I sat down with Elizabeth Fargis, who had come from ABC and was working at the network where I was at. And I said, we need to do this story. And she was like, explain to me, explain this to me. I get into the news business at like in 1994. I used to sit in the edit bay and just stare at her. I used to just stare at Elizabeth and be like, I want to be her one day. She is, she's everything, you know, she was just like my idol. And now she's working at the network where I am. So it's like it's, it was like this full circle moment. And I went to her and I said, we need to talk about this. We've got to talk about this. I've got to tell you, I've got to show you these people. I've got to show you these doctors and show you the study and we put, I sat down. I was like, I need your help to go in there and like really make this a bigger, bigger thing. And she did. And we sat there together. But we pushed, we took both of us to push that story to, you know, to the network. And what was the reception like what you got on air? Well, we were like, let's do a three part to five part series. You know, we were really going all in. And the documentary had not come out yet. I was starting an interview all of you for the documentary, but it had not come out yet. And it was like, all right, let's start here. What exactly is it? What are we doing? And we got one across the, we got one across the board. And it was a big, long series. And we sat there from the beginning of it to the end of it and put it on there. And the, the reaction was incredible. Yeah. And I remember, I walked away and one of the cameraman came running after me. And he said, I think that my wife is going through some of this is our way. I can get a hold of you or somebody so she can talk to them. Yeah. So I went, okay, we've begun that conversation in traditional media. I've really been leaning into the idea that fewer, better pieces just make life easier. I don't want to cause it full of noise. I want pieces that work. That's why I've been loving quints. Everything feels intentional. Beautiful fabrics like 100% European linen, silk, cotton poplin and cotton cashmere, lightweight sweaters that layer well, fresh spring colors that feel timeless, not trendy. What I appreciate most is that they work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middleman. So you are investing in quality materials and craftsmanship, not a label. I love my stretch silk, tie neck blouse. It has truly become a staple in my closet. It is what I reach for most when I'm recording podcast or just want to feel a little more pulled together. If you've been feeling like your wardrobe needs a reset, don't over complicate it. 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It shows up in the brain first, then the body, then everywhere else. And too often, women are told, nothing is wrong. I wrote the new Perry menopause because you deserve answers before things spiral. You deserve care before burnout. And you deserve a clear roadmap for a transition that medicine has ignored for far too long. The new Perry menopause is now available for pre-order everywhere books are sold. Learn more and pre-order your copy at thepaslife.com. All right, let's go to the documentary. Yeah. The M-Factor. And what on earth were you thinking? You just wake up one day and like, I'm going to make a documentary. Like, how do you even do that? I don't know. You know, it's so funny. Well, first I did never read that. It's not like, I don't know. You make money on the bar. It's not a big money maker. No. Like, blood, it has more value than anything in the world. Right. Yeah. Some of my husband works in the TV world and one of the people that work with him, I became friendly with. And I was saying her all the time, like, I can't believe this. All these women in menopause. And did you know this? And did you know that? And she know this. And she's like, yeah, I'm already went through that. Tamson, like, yeah, yeah, I already went through that. And so I said, oh, and she just, but there's a good friend of mine that talks to me about it like you do. And I'm so sick of talking that to you about it. You guys should meet each other. As her name is Joanne Lamarca. And Joanne came from the today show. She launched Hoden in in in Kathy. And she was at the today show for a very, very long time. And I got an introduction to her and I sent the phone with her for an hour and a half the first time. And I said, I was just going to get this out there. Like, I don't know what to do. I'm in news. They don't want to talk about it every day. And we said, what if we put something together, put a film together of something a longer version of something together for YouTube. And she said, I think so. And I said, what if it's a doc? She's like, what if it's a doc? I said, I don't know. Can we we've never even done a documentary? You know, news, you interview somebody for 20 minutes and it's a two minute piece. That's how news works. So we started thinking like, we need to do this. And we went out to Times Square with our iPhones and said, let's see if there's any kind of appetite for women willing to talk about it or what they're going through. And we had masks on at the time. Everyone was wearing masks. So we're like, can you talk about, you know, menopause? Did you go through it? No, yeah. No, I didn't go through that. I don't want to talk about it. I don't know. And then one by one, we probably tried to interview 30 people and maybe four of them talked to us. And I said, I don't know. Maybe there's just nothing to it. But I just really, I feel like there is. She felt like there was. And we started saying to a couple of different doctors at that time, I share them alone with somebody that I knew, Dr. Sharon Malone. And I said, I'd like to talk to you. I was a little scared because I didn't really know very well. But I'd like to see if we could talk to you about a documentary at the time I met the other two producers that I have from LA, which is Denise Pines and Kobe Atlas. And both of them had done documentaries before. And I said, I don't know what I'm doing. But I do know that we need to do it. And they said, well, we've done documentaries and we wanted to do this one too. So that's all partner. So four women partnered together in the both, both coasts. And we said, we're going to figure this out. And the first interview we did was Dr. Sharon Malone in my living room on her birthday. She, she came in. And I sat down with her and we kind of like set the stage of what we didn't know. And then we said, all right, we're going to lean in or we're going to do this documentary. And we had no support, no money. Right. Like no clarity of exactly where we were doing what we were doing with it. Where does the money come from? Did you get people going, I'm not going to invest in this. I'm not going to. We had, there's no audience for it. I'm not giving you any money for this. And who wants to watch a documentary? Because you know, the documentary was at that time team boring. You know, there wasn't like all the cool documentaries. Quite yet, there was some who wants to talk about a documentary about menopause? No, there's no audience. There's no place. And no one wants to air it and no one wants to and no one's giving you money for it. Unless my whatever can be in it. And we're like, that's not a documentary. We can't do that. So we pushed and pushed. We put a lot of our own money into it. We fund it. We self-funded this thing on all ends of it. And then finally, it started to take root when we started putting together a trailer that you went insane. Then we had people step up and say, Hey, you know, a couple of different nonprofits. Like, I will fund this because we really believe in it. And we had some people funding it, but we funded most of the first one ourselves, like from the very, very beginning, put it together. And by the time we released that trailer, which was maybe September of last year, we had such an influx. Because remember, it was just the four of us. We had such an influx into our inbox of people wanting to watch it, air it, see it, be part of it, whatever it was that we had to hire people to come in and help field all these requests. And so we wound up giving it to women to view and their communities. And to date, we've had over 1,000 four screenings in cities across the US. And in I think we're at 43 or 45 countries. It's not crazy. So you got PBS. So you make this documentary and then you have to shop it around. Yeah. It doesn't just magically make it. On to, you know, your computer or whatever. What was the conversation like with PBS? Probably the biggest place you could launch a documentary. For the credibility of it too. Yeah. I just felt really strongly that we needed to have that credibility factor simply because we'd had so much pushback, so much pushback of trying to do anything like this. And I also thought it was a really critical message. It was really the first of its kind of this kind of documentary at this magnitude with this time in our lives. And so I felt an immense pressure of it needing to be right place, right time, right partners. And Denise and Kobe have done a lot of different things with PBS. So they had already had the trust factor there. And so we went in and they said, okay, we need to view it though too, you know, to see and they did. And we got on for October of last year, which was the weekend of world menopause day weekend. That's when it aired. Yeah. That was perfect. So it was amazing. It was amazing. We're the producers in the, you know, were they female? Some female. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Of course. They really feel like we have to have, we have to do. You know, in this whole process of this podcast and you may have had the same with your podcast, we always do better when there's a menopausal woman in the room on the production team and that, you know, because you just don't get it. When I launched my podcast in March, but before that, it was over a year of trying to figure it out. And constantly what I heard was, you know, the podcast audience is young. Nobody's going to want to talk about that. So what else are you going to talk about? And I was like, that's what we're going to talk about. We're going to talk about a lot, but that is what we're going to talk about. There's a lot of that conversation. It's going to be the root of this whole thing. Yes. Women in the room. But I will say this with the documentary, even in rooms with menopausal women, it was not always the response you would expect when we went out to shop it to the different streamers and stuff. So I would say that it has now come a long way, baby, right? But back then, when we were going around doing that, it was not quite as cool. Right. Accepted. Then to say, Hey, because I know what it's like in the TV world to go in and say, Hey, I want to do something you want menopause. What? Because you feel like you're being judged. Just why would you be interested in that? And so because that is an industry that is very, you know, youth is very regarded. Youth is very, you know, that's what you want. That's a double fight. There's a double edge short there. We're going to get to the next documentary of jumps. Yes. Super excited about. But not expecting not everybody was happy once it came out. No. I will say that I was surprised because I think that when you're inside of it and a documentary is not going to do interviews and then just edit it, a documentary is 30 to 50 plus hours of a video. You know how long we were there with you or how long our crews were there with you. You know how many interviews that we had in that documentary. How many women stories? How many different areas we wanted to cover and push into that one thing. So I'm aware going forward now. Not everyone will ever be happy with with everything that we talk about. But I'm not happy where we were before this. Right. Not happy as a real woman that we didn't feel comfortable talking about it. I'm not happy as a real woman that my mother suffered and so many women did, you know, so we did the documentary in the the tagline was shredding the silence on menopause. The reason for that documentary was to open the conversation. So I'm okay if not everybody's happy. Our intention as journalists and a documentary is not my opinion. A documentary is experts coming together to talk about what their experts in. That's what that was and real women's stories. So I would only say that I'm so damn proud of the documentary and I want thank you and I want all voices to be heard. So I am happy to hear any pushback on anything. But at the end of the day, the most important thing to me is when a woman stops me in the street and says I watch the documentary with 10 of my friends or with my husband or with my daughter and I found a doctor and it's changed my life. That's all the difference in the world because our only intention as journalists is to shed light and that's what we did. So why a second documentary? Well, that wasn't expected. You know, I was like, I love it. I love it. I'm glad. I feel like we're on this like path because like why another book about menopause. I know. I know. We're expecting to do that in all in all truth. Like I still think we're all like, are we doing this really? Even though we're we're in edit now. As we saw this roll out happen over the course of the past year, about six months ago, maybe a little bit more, we realized that there were so many other parts of the documentary we couldn't fit in. And one, you know, one important was for me is talking about women that are dealing with breast cancer and our friend, Dr. Crane Mann, who had breast cancer herself treats women that are very left out of that conversation. Another part that has been left out is really understanding how, you know, we talked about the timeline in the first one, but we didn't really explain everything that happens. You know, we weren't able to have conversations about hormonal households. We weren't able to have conversations about all these different things. We're very, very important. And so we decided, okay, menopause is that one day, right? And everything else afterwards, but what happens before the pause? And that's what this documentary is called before the pause. And it will lead up to menopause for those younger women. And for any, you know, not even younger women, just women that don't understand, like I didn't, I never heard the word, period menopause. And I want to make sure they do. So what is a hormonal household for our listeners? You may not know it. That is I know what it is. A hormonal household is when you've got like a young, you know, a young one, a teenager, a, you know, I don't know, 12, 13, 14, going through their hormonal journey. And then you've got mom that's probably at the same time experiencing period menopausal symptoms and menopause. And having those two, and I don't want to ever say collide, but live under the same roof, in dealing with that because there's a lot that goes there. And I, at first, I thought it was like a little catchphrase that was cute. And then I realized it's a real thing. And especially as women are having children a little bit later, sometimes, or just we're realizing this a little bit earlier. Yeah. It was really important for us to include. I'm finding that the millennials are way more open to this conversation. It's like, Gen X kicked the door in and started the conversation. And these, these younger women coming through are like, okay, what do I need to know to get ready? How do I need to prepare myself? They don't want to hide it. There's no shame. Like this is inevitable. This is a natural part of life. But I don't want to go into this blindsided. So what I'm seeing is millennials are a lot more accepting of what's coming. They're curious. There's no shame. They want to learn more. They're asking to be a part of the conversation. And I'm encouraged by that. I love the fact that millennials are like, tell me what's going on. Tell me what I need to know. And I'm going to, I'm going to go through this. And so I do, I agree with you. Gen X kicked open the door. Millennials are like, here we are. And now we're going to use that information to be better longer. And I think that's, it's incredible. Because I think back to my, you know, when I was 30s, I wasn't thinking about, I didn't even know the word, perimenopause. I was taking, I was a medical expert and I was like, menopause literally. I was like, oh, a menopausal patient. No. And that's just bias and paternalism and how I trained in my own ageism. And now I'm like, yeah, it's all I do now. And it's like the best part of my medical practice ever is that, you know, taking care of these women. Well, there's such an appreciation too. Because I think that these women have been overlooked, dismissed, thought, felt invisible themselves. And the truth of the matter is, is that that is very much not what's going on. And they've not been given an opportunity to be able to be seen, feel better, not have to beg for help. And so I'm so happy for all of us. And then I'm really happy for millennials who walk in and say like, hey, I'm going to probably fix most of it myself outside the doctor's office. Maybe I need to go to you and get my hormone therapy or, or some other form of treatment. But I'm going to be okay. This isn't going to define me. And I think that that's exciting. Because then when we get to the next generation, what does that mean for them? Yeah. So when I look at what we've done so far with the first documentary shredding of silence with now before the pause, I can't wait to see the reaction to that. Because I think it's going to just make that change even quicker, even faster. And with, you know, books that we have out there, when we have films out there, we have celebrities talking about it. Many of our friends talking about it. Incredible doctors like yourself talking about it. There's no way that this conference is not a trend. It's not a moment. It's not a, you know, it's not a fleeting, you know, thought and anybody's mind. And hopefully we get to a place where it doesn't have to be a thing that it's a part of our lives. Right. And nothing to be ashamed of or to have. Oh my gosh. Nothing to be ashamed of. So you get this idea. I'm going to write a book. I have another idea of the shower. Because you've written books before. I have. You've had best sellers before. So did you go to your agent? Because now this is because they were on matchmaking and yeah, divorce dating. Yeah. So this is what was that like that conversation with your agent? I guess was first. Well, it's funny. I had gone to the original agent I had. And she's like, I don't think that there's going to be an audience for this book. And I said, okay, I think I need to find an agent that I've got pushed back to. Yeah. So I had done Galveston diet. And it had done very well. Yeah. But immediately the minute the manuscript was in, I was letting my friends read it and getting the reaction. I talked a lot about menopause in the Galveston diet. And that was what not not how much protein you need or how many hours you need to work out a week. Everyone was like, you're this menopause part like more, more, more. And so I go to my agent, my agent was in from the beginning. The editors were kind of like, oh gosh, me too. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there was the wisdom of menopause and menopause metaphoes. But you know, do you really feel I'm like, I'm telling you what people are asking me. I'm in my DMs. I know exactly what people want. And they are begging for this information. But did you get pushed back? Massive push, push back. And I, it's interesting. I struggle with my title. Remember that I said to you, I am struggling now because the original title I went in there with to pitch because when you go to write a book, as we know, you have to go in there and you have to present your case essentially and say, you have the book should be here's your proposal. Here's what the book should be. Here's why it should be. Here's the audience. And I promise you a lot of people are going to help me say they love it. And so I went in with one because I'm like, what is a journalist doing writing a medical book? But it wasn't a medical book. It was a guide with all of these expert voices coming together of what a real woman didn't know. It wasn't me as a medical expert. It was me bringing together all of the people that I had learned from, including yourself, to say, look, these are the people to listen to. These are the voices. This is how I got to feel better know myself, you know, move on to the to be able to talk about it. So it was originally called menow talk. That was the book. It was like menopause conversations. I went in there and my first agent was like, and so I talked to another agent. She said, you know, I'm going through this right now. And I want to sell this book. I want to see if there's an audience for it. And we got down to going out there and you go to the different publishers and two came back and said, we think there's an audience for this because we're both going through it. And that was the reason that it was picked up because there were to your point earlier menopausal women going, I need more now. One said to me like, I have an insects and I don't know how long and the other one was like, I think I'm going through this. I can't I'm reading all these. But when are you going to finish writing it? Because you know, I think the only way to write a one chapter in an outline. And so my my pressure was I did 42 interviews with, you know, 42 different experts. And I think even more, but like that was with the big interviews. And really use what I had done my whole life with his interview is to try to pull it together and and simplify. I was like, I don't know. We just need a how to book. And that's how I came up with how to minimize. Finally, like literally, I was I was under pressure to get a title done because I think I saw you right before it was due. And I said, I still have a title for this book. And I think it's perfect. Thank you. I finally had, you know, under pressure, but it wound up being the right title for the book. And it was a New York Times best sell. It was when was yours out. Hey, and then mine was the next March, a year later. And I said to you, what did you do the day that you were going to find out what's going on? I went with you. I went to Mexico. I told my husband, I don't want to be in the country. I was so nervous. I know. And because we hadn't made the list with Galveston diet, I didn't understand at the time of the Alistair Diet how it worked. I just thought if you sell X amount of books and you outsell everybody else, you'll make a list. And I didn't realize that, you know, the New York Times best seller list is editorialized. Meaning you have to sell a certain amount to be considered. But they decide which books, you know, and for whatever reason Galveston diet did make it. I look back and I just kind of laugh. I'm a straighty student. I remember I passed everything. I was blindsided. I did not know that could happen. You know, you tell Mary Claire sell, you know, a thousand books, I'll sell two thousand, right? Right. Right. I was in Boston doing press at a local Boston affiliate for I think in NBC. One of the, I beside you, one of the first TV stations that had asked me to come and speak and I was all excited. And then that night that afternoon, the list was coming out. And it just kind of seemed inevitable that, you know, we had sold a lot of books and whatever. And then my agent called me and said, we didn't make it. And I couldn't even process with that meant. And I went back to the hotel and we crashed the many bar. And I remember drinking these pre-made bloody marries or something out of the fridge. And then I think I cried on social media. I did Instagram live with you. And that was when we, I think we had already been together in LA. And then I did the Instagram live with you on the book because the book was, was it, had just come out or it was going to come out? I can't remember. We were just right in there. We were blessed together quite a bit there. And so I remember doing the Instagram. And then I remember seeing your video and I was like, how is that possible? Like that's crazy. It's editorial. So the whole push for the next book for the new men of pause, I was like, I don't want to hear about the list because everything, as you know, everything's like the list, the list, the list. I know. I know. I was like, I'm not doing it. I don't want to hear it. You say it and I'm leaving. I'm not published the book. And they're like, you know, so because pre-sales were going in credibly well. And we had sold almost 80,000 books by the time, you know. And so I told my husband, I don't want to be in the country. When the list comes out, I don't care. I told my phone. We went to Mexico. We were sitting in play at a car. They don't beach at an all-inclusive drinking margaritas and just meeting people in the pool and chatting and having fun. And then my friend, Kim Holderness, from the Holderness family, our books came out the same day. I remember. And she texted me and I checked my phone because it was Kim. And she's like, girl, did you see? And so that's a cool way to get it. And I had to happen to hit number one. And I just, I have chills thinking about it, you know. And then all of a sudden, like, I was like, tell the world. I took your advice because you told me what you had done. And I was like, what am I going to do? I can't go to Mexico. I don't know what I mean, we were, because remember, we were in the middle of like all the other stuff. We were still doing dock. And so I went L.A. I went to the IV, the restaurant. They were on my bag of fans. I'm going to get some champagne. I'm just going to sit there and my team was with me. And they lied to me about what time it came out. So they were like, oh, it's not going to be till like five o'clock today. And I go, really, we got to wait that long. And I'm like, I'm sitting there and we're like eight French fries. Like I was like self-suiting just in case. Oh, we got a call. Hold on. We'll bring it back. And one of them, and then they came back and they were put it on speaker. They did. They put on speaker or they or they had called, they had them call my phone. And I picked it up and they videoed it. And I was like, oh, my gosh, because I never expected that. New New York Times to move. It was like such, like, you know, I've grown up in New York. It's just like the, you know, I'm not a doctor. And so I never, I never, I never even thought that would be a possibility. But the special part of it, I think, out of everything was after that happened, getting to go around and meet all of the women that read it or talked about it or shared it. And that was really cool. Yeah. Like I had been, I went to all these different cities around the country. And that was really, really super special. I felt like you know, menopause has spoken. But I just felt like there is no denying that menopause is important. And that women want to read about this, you know, and they're willing to educate themselves 100%. I think that we've put that on us on women. Women, we have said to women, all of us, you need to know all this because your doctors might not. Right. And you have to almost interview your doctors to make sure that they feel comfortable with it or ask them why they aren't. Yeah. Right. And so we've given women so much responsibility that that is why that they need this information is why they need these type of resources. And it's funny. Our generation is so upset about that. Sure. You know, they are like, no, no, no, the doctors should know. And I'm like, listen, we weren't taught, we weren't trained. This was a prioritizing. We are working on that point. But it's like the millennials are like, okay, they don't know. I'm going to educate myself. And they feel like they are CEOs in their own healthcare. And I feel like our generation and forward are more used to the medical system telling them what to do. And this is a huge blind spot in medicine. And that, you know, we still have to continue the message of educate yourself, advocate for yourself. You know, and that's what I loved about your book is that it laid out these really clear plans on how to do that. Thank you for themselves. Thank you. So you, you know, you're on TV, documentary, book publishing, which of those felt the most vulnerable for you? That's a great question. Because you're a journalist, you've been on TV forever, but you're talking about a taboo subject, you know, but I told other people stories on TV. I didn't tell my own. And so I think that's a, that was a big difference for me of like the that it came back to my story. So when I first went on social, you know, I mean, I've told you this. I went to TikTok first because I was like, I know a lot of people on Instagram and I don't know if I want to have them hear me talk about the subject because I don't know what their opinion is going to be at me. That's how ingrained it was in my brain. Yeah. Like the age of some, because, you know, I grew up in TV and there's a shelf life, right? There's a shelf life, baby. There's no driving Miss Daisy in journalism. No, no. I remember I was in Philadelphia and there was a news anchor that was a little bit older than me. Maybe she was like the generational, did they mean right? And she and I were sitting there talking and I was kind of like, what do I need to know? I was new to the station. What's I know next? I want to be like you when I grow up, you know, that kind of thing. And she said, well, I do want you to know this, you know, that there is this, this, this shelf life for women. So when you get to be in your 40s, like that's, that's that. Like, you know, you don't ever see an older woman sitting next to a younger man on television. You see an older man sitting next to a younger woman. And she's, you know, and the guys, the distinguished guy that's been sitting there telling the news forever. And I'm like, and so I always in the back of my mind had that every time I'd put my key card up to get into the building, every time I would do the news, I'm like, oh, thank goodness, they still want me here. I'm so grateful. That was my life for a very, very long time. I do want to say when I walked away from my job as a news anchor to almost two years ago now, I was the older woman sitting next to the younger guy by about 10 years. I know it was not crazy. That's amazing. But the shelf life is a very real thing. And it's very sad. And I think that a lot of people feel it. And I think that a lot of women of our generation really are aware of that. And especially the generations before, that that is a feeling that's in there. And I cannot wait for that to be gone. And I think we're chipping away at it in a very big way. Now for a midi pause sponsored by Midi Health. Let's talk about something that's keeping millions of women awake at night. Literally, the girls are not sleeping. They're not sleeping well, not sleeping long, and waking up exhausted. And this is not just a part of getting older. This is a health crisis hiding in plain sight. In my clinical practice, I see it all the time. 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Evidence-based strategies like improving sleep hygiene, managing stress with breathing techniques, and ensuring adequate magnesium, L-theanine, and melatonin support can all help. For some women, hormone therapy, or cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia makes a profound difference. Here's the bottom line. You're not imagining it. And you can absolutely claim restorative sleep. Your sleep matters. Your health matters. And you deserve solutions that work. All right, so 25-year-old Tamsen. Yes. What did she think that 54-year-old Tamsen would be doing? 25-year-old Tamsen didn't know if she was going to see 54 because I lost my mom at 51. And I didn't have a roadmap or a thought for anything that happened after that. I just was blank. 51 was the age that she was gone. So 54 was like, what? I don't know. But I do think that I always had this idea growing up, you know, or tires, going to get older. It's like, I could never have imagined I'd be sitting here talking about any subject like this, first of all, or be looking at, being looking forward to the next 40 years. If you tell anybody that, I think they would say, what? Like that you would be writing books, producing documentaries. No, have a whole new community and group of friends in a different purpose, right? Of life. Don't you feel like that? Yeah. I turned 57 in August. And this is the year I survived all of my brothers. So I've lost three. So you know what I mean? And two of them were in their 50s. And so we were in Norway hiking with some good friends of ours. And it was one of the toughest hikes I've ever done in my life as far as like elevation change and Norway is coming out straight up out of the water for 10,000 feet. And so, you know, I just remember hiking that day and thinking, my brothers didn't get here. And they'd be so proud, you know, of everything that I was, yes, they would accomplish. But like me at 25, I just at 57 or at 60, you know, that was always grand babies, being quiet. I just saw this old lady. Yeah. Not anyone in full glam, you know, with fake eyelashes doing a rock. And eyelashes look very good. Thank you. Yeah. I survived my mom at 51. So it was three years ago. Tell me about that year that day. Yeah, because 50 wasn't hard for me. 50 wasn't a thing. It was just kind of went through. It was also during the pandemic. So it wasn't really, you know, but 51. I remember thinking like, I can't believe this. Like this was my mom. And I think at that when I was young, that seemed like an older age, you know, obviously. And when I think about all the stuff she went through in those younger years, starting at 44 years old, like she battled breast cancer for a long time. And yeah, I think I felt really sad. And I felt real appreciative. And I do feel like every day as kind of a dedication to what she was not able to do. And so I'm really appreciative that I'm here. And I am hopeful of that for all the remaining years that I'm here that it helps, you know, other women that are coming up through this. I do, I do feel a very deep service to her. You know, and all other women, but really to her to do this next part, right? So in this journey, you know, we've kind of covered what your publisher's thought, what you're going to get back. I was going to talk about your community, like your friends. Did you get pushed back from any of those being like, tamson? Yes. Did you? I mean, I totally did. Well, they knew you were a doctor. So you probably talked about a lot of things that they were like, but you know, walking away from the bread and butter, you know, I was an academic practice. I had a very nice salary. I had the respect of my entire community. I delivered literally everyone's babies and walking away from that security, I had insurance. I had, you know, safety. I was like, if they build it, they'll come, like I did not know how to open a clinic. I had always been employed. I got a book made it into a guy to like opening a medical practice and like had to read all the rules and how to do it. But I just like something in me knew I needed to do this, but I took my girlfriend's out to dinner in this big table in Galveston. And I said, I'm thinking about opening this clinic all of my own. No, no academic institution behind me, like just hanging up a shingle and just doing men of pos care. And I don't think I can afford to take insurance because by the way, they're not going to pay you the two men of pos care. And you know, so then it's a risk of will women, will women be able to afford this in common? Like we had a long conversation that night, but every single one of them was like, you have to do this. That's amazing. That's the community does for you. Well, first, I think that they were, they thought I was crazy talking about men of pos in general. But second, I walked away from my career at a place that I had always wanted to get to. I always wanted to be a evening news anchor. I always wanted to be, you know, in that prime time spot, delivering people the news of what happened that day and what was going to happen the next day to prepare them for the next day. And, you know, New York is in my soul. And I love telling the stories of New York, but I knew that there was not a more important story for me to be telling than this one. And so when I made that decision and it took me a long time, I remember I were we were out of the country and I walked into the bathroom and we were like standing there and I said, I think I need to go. And he's like, you need to go go go where and go back home. And I said, no, I think I need to leave my job. And was this ridiculous? And I like, but I can't do what I want to do and do this. Well, I was doing five shows a day, a day, not a week, a day. And so he said, well, I mean, you have to prepare to do that. And I said, I know, and I needed to prepare myself, right? Because for me, I'd always work for corporate. I've always worked for a news station. And my identity was so wrapped up in my job. Like I was the job, like I was the anchor. I was, that's all Tamson was. I didn't know myself outside of that. So yeah, people, a lot of people said, like, are you are you sure you want to do this? Why can't you just do that on the side? Have fun with that and keep doing your job. And it took me about another year. And then I made the decision. I went to the head of the network, the CEO of the company and I said, this is what I need to do. And he said, you know, a concern anyway, can we figure this out? And so they let me remove one of my shows that I was only doing four shows. And I did that for about six months. And then I finally said, no, it's it's time for me to go. And so graciously, they let me out of my contract. I had a contract guy had all the things that I'd ever wanted at all the things that I never wanted. But it was just so important for me to do that. And so I stepped away, almost two years ago now. Yeah, I felt that was to do like I had everything I wanted. I had gotten to what had always been my goal. Yeah, program director. Yeah, you know, respected in the community. But like this men apostate was screaming, screaming screaming too. Like this is what you need to be doing. I was doing news. And I was up here on the side like the 39 symptoms of and stop. I just couldn't stop. So what would you go back and tell yourself now that you have all this education and knowledge, you know, to that that 40 something year old Tamson sitting in the chair losing her words? Oh, gosh. If you would have been the anchor sitting next to her, I would I would have I would have been like listen, I know what's going on with you. And I don't want you to be alarmed. I want you to just hear me and not feel insulted or shame by it. But this is what you need to go do. I would have already had a doctor ready. Here's a doctor. I just had to do the information and you need to go do this. And you know, I have done that when I have women that are coming and working with me or on my team. I'm like, I'm not telling you this just because this is what we're talking about all the time. But I think this is what's happening. I don't feel any kind of hesitation of saying it to another woman now. And I think that that's where we have to get is not feeling scared to insult somebody or or they're going to take it the wrong way because this is our health. And they've got to get that help sooner rather than later. Do you think the needles moving though? We're getting less resistance to this conversation? I do in some areas. I do in some areas. I don't know how far them is just serving me this 24 seven. Me too. My husband's like, I see none of what you're talking about. I know. So it sends it to me 24 seven two. And but I do think that it's changing. And I do think that I hear the conversation from people that, you know, differently than I than I did before for sure. And I'm like, either they've caught it from me or they are really seeing it, you know, differently. And so I do. I think it's a big conversation. I think that we know it's in mainstream media. I think that there's no question about that. I think that I'm I want to I want to be careful because when we hit this side of it, we want to be careful of people just being in the conversation for being in the conversation. Yeah. We want it to be that we're educating. We want it to be that it's helping and serving women constantly. Right. And I think as long as we're doing that, then that is the right thing. So you're you know, kicked down some doors and media your social media presence is huge as your social media presence is huge. My friend. Thank you. I had no idea that was going to happen by the way. I don't think any of this should be way better than you. Another I remember like in the early days making a video and like running to my kids and saying, is this is this mean viral? What is this? You know, like how many use does it right? Right. Right. Just seeing the response was just overwhelming. I do think a lot of what happened on social with me was being at the right place at the right time with a real message. Yeah. That was resonating. I was just validating. Of course. Since I said the word for as inch older one day and I got 10 million hits. Yeah. Of course. Of women like blowing up my dams like. Yeah. What? Yep. So what's the next door you're going to kick in? We're going to kick in the before you know, before the pause door for sure. So I feel like that's the that's the millennials and see where that goes in there because I think that's a really big one. And I'm really enjoying the podcast. I really love that because that gets me back to my journalism roots, which you know, it allows me to combine the two worlds that I really do love. And then I think what's what's exciting about this time is not knowing where it goes next. Like I could never have predicted in the two years that we're in where I would be even right this minute. And I don't think you could either. I don't think if we go back and rewind like where were tamson and Mary Claire two years ago. We'd I mean, I think we were in Vegas at a at a at a QDC thing. We've crossed the country together. We we meet up in different cities and like speak on a stage and then leave and then hug each other and then get on and you know, and so I can't imagine like I get excited thinking like, where am I going to be in a year? I know. It's it's amazing. It's awesome. Right. Do you feel like menopause is giving you purpose? I know it's given me purpose. I also know that the community is giving me purpose. Yeah. And I think that that more than anything else has been really remarkable and friends like you quite frankly, you know, what's the favorite part of the community? My favorite part of the community is being picked up the phone at any moment of any time of the day and be like, Hey, girl, I got to say something to you. Can you can you help me with this? Can you talk to me? You and I've done it to each other recently. That's my favorite part. And that validates a couple of different things that women's really do support each other. And also that we've always got somebody to lean on that really gets us. And I think I want everyone to have that. Yeah. Me too. For the women listening, there's so many out there who tell me they feel lost that they feel like they're losing themselves. And you know, I do like you have people stopping me on the street. You've changed my life. And I feel like those women and the ones who are still struggling, they haven't found the community. Yes. They haven't found the right partner in a clinician. They haven't found, you know, what would you say to her? Oh, gosh. Tune in and stay in touch with all of us. First of all, because I do think there is something that is very sound with seeing more and more people going through this. But I would say that you have to find somebody that can help you with those symptoms because I think most of the time those come from very physical things, right? They come from not being able to sleep, feeling like they're, you know, you're going crazy. And I know bleeding and not knowing why, gaining weight and not being able to figure it out. Brain fog. Tune in sleep and brain fog. Just those two can make you feel so lost. Yeah. So I would say that's the first step. And I think the set concept is really focusing on that provider. And if you have a to-do list every day, put that on the top, put that on the top, put that on the top before anything else that you do. Because if you're not getting that help, you can't do the rest of that. And I do really realize how important that is now. I think before we'd be like, oh, maybe spend some time, you know, doing this or that or, you know, or whatever. I don't know that. But like, lighting a candle is not going to help you get more sleep. Not going to resuscitate your embrace. Going to do that. And so taking charge of that is so important. And I think that that's what you have to do before anything else. Yeah. Anything else. Minipause often feels like that society, that the world, it's time to slow down, it's time to become invisible. It's time to hit pause. What are you doing to focus on unpausing at this part of your life? Oh, traveling more. I think being receptive to things that, like, instead of having to always have a plan, like, going to do this, I go to that, I go to this. I think that that is a huge part of where I get my freedom in my peace right now. Yeah. Yeah. I love it, actually. Well, I'm so happy you came on the podcast today. I love this journey with you. I love it with you. Yeah. I really do. I can't wait to see what you do next. I can't wait for the documentary. Oh, I can't wait to see what you do next, my friend. As a reminder to our audience, you can order Tamson's book, How to Minipause on Amazon. You can also listen to Tamson's podcast, the Tamson show, wherever you get your podcast, or watch it on YouTube. And of course, you can follow her at Tamson Fidel on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and LinkedIn. I'd love to hear from you about this topic or anything else that's on your mind. You can find me on Instagram at Dr. Mary Claire and get honest and accurate information on health, fitness, and navigating midlife at thepauselife.com. If you're loving this podcast, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. While you're there, leave us a review and be sure to share the show with the women you love. We would be so grateful. You can also find full episodes on YouTube at Dr. Mary Claire. Unposed is presented by Odyssey in conjunction with Pod People. I'm your host, Dr. Mary Claire Haver. The views and opinions expressed on unposed are those of the talent and guests alone and are provided for informational and entertainment purposes only. No part of this podcast or any related materials are intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.