Love Throughout Your Life: Stories from a Stranger

Hey, everybody. You know, in Science of Happiness, we have conversations filled with compassion and empathy and share research-backed practices for a more fulfilled life. Well, this week, I want to share a new podcast that has me thinking and has lifted my spirits. It's called Stories from a Stranger, featuring portraits of people from all walks of life, connected by love, loss, regret, inspiration, illness, family connections, and more. In each episode, host Hunter Prosper gets strangers to open up and share their most defining moments. From the deaths of loved ones, to using our most painful moments as inspiration, to finding our greatest love. No subject is off limits. You'll hear stories that are raw, intimate, and bursting with humanity. In this episode, Hunter meets three strangers at three different stages of life and ask them what love means to them. You'll hear how love looks and feels different at every age, from the dizzying rush of a first crush to the quiet comfort of a lifelong partner, and the ache of wondering if love will ever come at all. Today, yesterday, and tomorrow, love is in the air. We hear from Sally, age 96, who calls a college boy who gave her a little tingle the love of her life. Ella, age 18, who has never been in love or in a long-term relationship and wonders if that makes her unlovable. And Tish, an artist who had nearly given up on dating in New York, when a follower named Akeem messaged to say he loved her sense of humor. Their stories remind us that love isn't one thing. It evolves, it disappoints, it surprises us, and sometimes it finds us when we least expect it. Right now, it's easy to feel like the world is irrevocably divided. Stories from a Stranger is a reminder that we all are human and more connected than we realize. Listen to Stories from a Stranger wherever you get your podcasts. If I could be young today, I would have had much more fun. That's for sure. Love looks different at every age. When we're young, it feels urgent and all-consuming. When we're older, it's shaped by decades of joy and loss. In this episode, I met people at different points in their lives and asked them what love means to them. Their stories remind us that love isn't one thing. It evolves. It disappoints. It surprises us. And sometimes, it finds us when we least expect it. Every stranger has a story. Let's start listening. I'm Hunter Prosper and this is Stories from a Stranger. So my first question for you is... Are we on? Yeah, we're on. Yeah. Just talk a little louder. Okay, I got it. That's good. Let me know. Listen, they know I'm old, so if I say talk louder. Hey, okay, I can do that. I can do that. Okay. You're on. My first question for you is, who was your greatest love, and why did you fall in love with them? Oh, my God, I never thought you would ask me that. My greatest love. Oh, God. I have to really think about that. Well, I think his name was Bob Brown and he was a Syracuse. I was a student at Syracuse 10,000 zillion years ago. And I don't even know why I fell in love with him, but he was tall and he was, I think he had the most beautiful voice. And we did not have a great romance and it was over very quickly. And you know what, it's the first time I thought about that. You know how long ago that was? That was 1951. Oh my God. So if you don't mind, I'd love to ask more about that. How did you two meet? I think we met in the same class and I guess we just met and that was it. But in those days, you know, you're really kind of prissy. If you know what I mean by prissy. And I was very prissy because my parents said, if you get pregnant, you're out of here. And I believe them. And unfortunately, if I could change my life today and go back, or if I could be young today, I would have had much more fun. That's for sure. I am so jealous. of my granddaughters and the lives that they live and my grandsons. And I thought, oh, my God, God. Yeah. Give me another 50. This Bob person, how long did you two date? Oh, maybe five months. Really? Yeah, that was all. I knew it wasn't going to go anyplace. Yeah. And he was a little complicated. Yeah. anyway uh oh my god i haven't thought that so long well my last question on this i'm very curious though when i asked you who your greatest love was you pretty much immediately knew bob but you only dated for five months yeah so how why was he your greatest love he gave me a tingle i just looked at him and i loved his looks and i loved his voice and uh there was something about us matter. So anyway, go ahead. Yeah, I have another, I have a Rolodex of questions that I want to ask. Sorry. My next question for you is though, is there someone you still think about? Oh yeah. I think about my first husband. I was married for seven and a half years, living in Syracuse. And I do think about him every so often. Yeah. And of course, I think about my husband all the time because he comes into conversation all the time. But every so often, my mind goes back to my past. So maybe all people my age do that. They go back and, you know, kind of think about What could have been, what should have been, but my life wouldn't be what it is today. If you don't mind me asking, how many times were you married? Twice. Twice. The second husband, how long were you with him? We were married 37 years. What was his name? Joe Froelich. Well, we met in Vermont. I was divorced. And we had mutual friends. And in those days, you carried your boots up to the mountain and you put them under a bench like this. So everybody had their boots on the bench. And we had mutual friends. So at the end of the day, I was changing my boots and someone said, Sally, this is Joe, a friend of mine. And period. And I don't know, something clicked with him and something clicked with me. And we sat and talked for a little while, but the weather was really not so great. And he was staying with mutual friends and I was staying at the hotel with another friend of mine, girlfriend of mine. And he said, I'll come down and pick you up. You'll come back to the house to have dinner. I said, great. Well, the weather was crappy. So that was no good. But the next morning he called and he said, how about skiing together? I said, well, that's a good idea. It was so cold. And I was not a really very good skier because he didn't know that. And either was he, by the way. Anyway, so we went up the mountain and he said, let's ski over to the next town. So we did. It was kind of flat. We skied over the next town. And we went in to have a cup of hot chocolate. And my feet were frozen. And in those days, there were lace-up boots. So I took my boots off and he massaged my feet. And I said, that's love. And that was just the beginning. I don't know if you can remember it or not, but I'm excited to ask you this. Do you remember your first kiss with Joe? Absolutely. Tell me about that. No, I do. It was really skiing of all strange things. Yeah. I don't know. I was cold and he hugged me and kissed me. And I said, I like that. I want to do that the rest of my life. I want to do that, yeah. And that was it. We started a date. That's it. And six months later, we were married. When did you know you loved him? Pretty quickly. He was very jolly and very smart. I really loved him right away. I really did. He was charming and funny. He was great with using four-letter words, but he always did it with a smile and ambitious and great company. at the time I was a golfer, and he became a fairly good golfer. And we played some tennis together, and he's like, it worked. It worked. And I had told him, and I'm not going to go into the whole story because it's too complicated, but I did tell him that I could not have any children. I had been married seven and a half years, and I never got pregnant, and my ex-husband did not want to adopt anybody. So I said, you know what? I packed up my little tiny orange Volkswagen and my poodle and came back to New York. Working as a nurse, I have had to be there with patients who were told that they can't have children. So I'm curious from your perspective, the doctor told you that you can't have children? Well, very briefly, since you're a nurse, I'll tell you. I had, my periods were every 28 days. Every 14 days, I had a pain in my groin from eggs. That's what they told me that was. What, for a day? Never, never had a cramp menstrual camp. I really, knock wood, was fine. And I couldn't get pregnant. and so I was married to a doctor so one of his big shot doctors said we're going to do a Reuben test on you you know what a Reuben test is no okay put the hospital and they pump oil through your tubes to be sure that your tubes are normal I got a terrible infection in my stomach so I put me in the hospital and then discovered the infection sent me home and I had to be in bed for five weeks not moving I had such a terrible infection. And they said, unfortunately, the infection has affected your tubes and you're never going to be able to have children. and I was in bed during the trial, the Nuremberg trial, lying in bed watching, that's how long ago this was, watching the Nuremberg trial on television. And I stayed in bed and I got up and then I said, oh, well, let's adopt a trial. And he said, maybe. And then we found a lovely young lady. My mother did in New York through one of her friends. And at the last minute, he said, you know, I really, I don't want to do that. I said, well, I'm not staying here anymore. So I told you, I packed up my Volkswagen and my little dog and came back to New York. And he was really devastated. And he would come back to New York, come into New York to visit me. I said, Marie, I can't do it. I want to have family. Were you nervous to tell Joe that you couldn't have kids? Of course. But he was 46, you know. And he had nieces and nephews. So it didn't bother him. How did Joe propose to you? Well, I don't remember the exact words, but he just said, Sally, I love you. I've been a bachelor all my life. I never thought in 10 million years I was going to get married. And you came into my life, will you marry me? He said, I'm going to shock the world because he was a perennial bachelor. And we got married relatively quickly. And it was very small. It was just with a couple of very good friends, my mother and father. And my cousin, Saul, was a rabbi, and he performed the ceremony. And it was beautiful. They had a beautiful garden. And she had a lovely spread. And my good friends were there and his good friends. And it was very small. It's not like today's weddings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he didn't care. And his mother, who I actually called Grandma, and she was maybe five foot tall, was thrilled to death because she never thought he was ever going to get married. How did you find out you were pregnant? Like, when was the first? Why? Since I was so regular, every 28 days, and then it got to be 29 days, and then 30 days, and then the next month I said, it's impossible. So I went to the doctor and he says, it's possible. You're pregnant. That's beautiful. After going all those years thinking that you couldn't get pregnant. I was told I couldn't have children. I was told I could not have children. And I told him that and it didn't bother him. And then I got pregnant right away on our honeymoon. Right after that. I was going to say right after that. In Cuba. In Cuba. Well, he had a lot of business in Cuba. Yeah. And that's where we went on our honeymoon. Yeah. And I got pregnant right away. Wow. And nine months later, there was a baby. My oldest daughter. Yeah. Darryl. And Darryl was supposed to be a boy. So we're in the hospital. Out came Darryl. And we're not prepared because it's not David. It was supposed to be David because his father's name was David and he died. And in Jewish religion, you very often name your kids after your parents. And so we went home with her birth certificate, female frolic. And then we decided on Daryl. We went through the whole alphabet on Ds. That ought to be a D. And I happen to love the name. And I think she loves the name. Listen, Daryl, when she was born, the love of my life when she was born, you know. Wow. You're bringing me to tears at this stage. So I have three wonderful kids and nine, I will say, phenomenal grandchildren. We are all close. They all sit around my table when they're in town. I'm really teary because I'm blessed to knock wood. I'm superstitious. I still knock on wood. And sometimes I knock on my head if I don't have wood around. And it's beautiful that you are the head of it. Like you are, it started from you. Oh, I am the head of the family. You have your kids. They have their kids. They have their kids. And it's because of you. They come and I set up the table. Thanksgiving is Thursday. 16 are going to be around the table, which is great. And I'm glad it's only 16 because I'm lazy and I don't want to set up another table. Perfect number. And plus, with my hearing problem, et cetera, 16 is a lot of people. Yeah. I say, talk up and talk slowly. They all talk so fast. Why is it that everybody talks so fast? Yeah. What is it? Because everyone's in a hurry. Everyone's go, go, go. Yeah. Yeah. 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Equip treats patients of all ages in all 50 states. It has no wait list, and it's covered by insurance. Recovery is possible, and it can start sooner than you think. If you're worried that you or a loved one could be struggling with an eating disorder, don't wait to get help. Visit equip.health backslash stories to learn more. That's equip.health backslash stories. Do you still think about Joe? Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. And I have a couple of wonderful pictures of him in my apartment. And he loves his cigar. and one of my favorite pictures, he's holding a cigar. He finally gave up cigarettes and cigars. What was Joe's smile like? Oh, my God, ear to ear. No, he was very jolly, told great jokes, and loved his family. Our family came first with the kids. and if anybody poked fun at me or whatever, he really got angry. You know, some people liked a needle and that was not one of his, well, that's something he never did. You know, he liked you or he didn't like you. But he was, you know, he loved life. Yes. And he got sick very quickly and died very quickly, thank God. And no one ever thought he was going to die. He was 83 when he died. And the day before I took him to the hospital, he was in the backyard chipping. Golf became his passion. And every chance he had to go out in the backyard and he'd take a couple of clubs and a little plastic ball and chip and go to the back and chip back. But then he got an infection and the infection killed him. Yeah. Yeah. Do you still feel it? He never suffered a minute. I'm really not good. I'm very lucky because here I am, what, 96? Going to be 97 in two months. and my friends, you know, most of them are gone, of course. But some of them went through terrible, terrible pain, you know, with illnesses. And it's painful, and thank God, it was very fast. Do you still feel Joe with you? Sometimes. No, no, no, no. Sometimes. It was a long time ago. He's been gone for so long. Yeah. Thank you so much for talking to me about this. Are we through? Can I ask you another question? Okay. You seem so excited. I love it. I love it. I like to talk. Good, good. I like to listen. So what about this question? What's a dream you've let go of? Oh, God. Lovemaking. What do you mean by that? Well, you know, I... We had a great physical relationship. And sometimes I dream about it. And then I say, Sally, forget it. That's a long time ago. And so I let it go. Did that hurt, having to let that go? Yeah, of course. Yeah. How do you get through that? I'm here. I'm going on. My motto, one day at a time. I wake up in the morning. exercise right away because I don't want to stay in bed because you get depressed. And so I get up and I exercise and then have breakfast and then get on my bicycle, then get on the phone. I'm a big phone person. I text, I email, but I really love connecting on the phone. I try to tell that to my grandchildren. Don't text me. I don't walk around with my phone in my hand all day long and I don't have a buzz that tells me someone's texting me I can't stand that so I said call me up you've you've continued to socialize you never stopped socializing all the time I play bridge I play canasta I still play golf badly you know I don't know that I'm gonna get up and dance anymore I'm going one of my grandkids getting married and there's gonna be a lot of dancing and I don't know that I'm gonna do that I don't know one day at a time yeah Yeah. If I were to ask you, I'm sure you've been asked this a lot. You are 96, going to be 97, right? In February. Yes. Congratulations, first off. 16th. 16th. Okay, okay. Right in the middle of the month. What is the biggest lesson you've learned in life? If you don't ask, you don't get. Tell me about that Well I have found in my life when things happen if I don ask even though it a pain in the ass you know I wouldn have gotten it I go to the grocery store, and the line is, God, 50 feet are on the line. I go up and I say, oh, I'm a senior, senior. Okay, go to number one. You know, you get it. If you don't ask, you don't get it. Yeah. And, well, that's it. That's my motto. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, my actual last question, and then I'll let you go. My last question. What do you see when you look in the mirror? Me. What do you mean? No. I'd say, I don't know. Look, I'm not ugly. I don't have a million lines. I don't know why. My mother had nice skin. I have wrinkles, but my eyesight is such that I don't see if I put on too much eyeshadow. It drives me crazy, but a friend in the elevator will say, you know, Sally, you have smudged here. I don't see it. And so now I did put makeup on for this, but I was a big makeup person. I wore makeup every single day. and nobody does. None of my friends, they don't even put on lipstick. I put on lipstick to go have breakfast in the morning for myself. Because it still matters to you. It matters to me. I think you look great. What's your name? Sally Froelich. Hunter. Nice to meet you. Thank you so much. I love you. Thank you, Sally. I love you too. Can I hug you, Sally? This was fun. Can I hug you? Did I talk too much? No, no, no. Oh my gosh. Not at all. Oh, you did not talk too much. Let's read some anonymous notes from strangers. Is there someone you still think about? My first kiss. When I had it, time stopped, and I've been chasing that feeling since. I'm married now, and I haven't felt that with him. Every kiss seems boring to me, and he's safe. I feel guilty, but I wish my ex would reach out to me. Then I could relive those moments with him. My best friend's fiance. I would never tell him this, but I think about her almost every day. We had a connection before they started dating, And once they did, I tried to ignore it. I still think it's there though, and I'm scared to lose my chance. He wants me to be the best man at the wedding, and I don't know what to do. We're good to go. Cool. I'm gonna ask you a question, and you just answer it however you want, okay? Okay. So my question for you is, Is there someone you still think about? So messed up. Realistically, no. I feel like what's done is done. And if it ended, it ended for a reason. And I don't think I've really been in a real connection with anyone ever, to be honest. I mean, not ever. I mean, obviously best friends, but like, let's say relationship-wise, I've never had like a real, like actual connection with someone before. And it's crazy because I'm 18 and I think it's about time. And like when I was turning 18, I was like, damn, like I've never had my high school sweetheart thing. Like it was just, it was just like, it was so weird because it would always be someone like me first and they would pursue me really hard. And then I'm like, okay, I guess, maybe it's cool. And then they're like, nevermind. I'm like, well, you could have just left me alone. Like, that was so necessary. And I would get really invested. And I, because I'm a very intense person, I feel like. I'm a very, when I feel emotion, it's like to the highest. Like, if I'm happy right now, I can't ever remember a time where I wasn't, like, where I wasn't happy. And then if I'm sad right now, I can't ever imagine a time where I was ever happy. so like I would be I would be in it like miserable because this person just said to discard me and I'm like damn I can't I can't I don't ever want to believe in love like there's like there's no point like all they do is disappoint you but when like I'm not in that situation I'm like oh my god love is so beautiful I can't wait so it's really like two sides of the coin for real does having never been in love does that make you feel unlovable yes sometimes if we're being honest like I like to be very positive and be like no it's whatever like it's just not my time but like realistically sometimes I'm like what's wrong with me because it's like no joke back to back to back to back like I haven't been in a relationship for like two years and it's just like it's just been a field talking stages every single time and it's like kind of feels like Like, damn, like, why after you get to know me and the excitement's gone, now you're not in a relationship no more. So it's like, is it, so you start to think, like, is it me? Like, am I the problem? Like, every single time. Do you think that you'll ever find love? I think I will. but a part of me after like the back-to-back-to-back disappointments is like, cause every time I'll be really happy. I'm like, maybe this is the one, maybe I'll have hope. And I was like, oh my God, maybe I'll get cuffed this time. And then this doesn't happen. And I hate being disappointed. Like I hate having to like get excited for something and then it doesn't work out. It makes you feel like, am I the problem? Yes. Like I want to believe that I will find love, But I feel like a part of me from like everything, I feel like a part of me is always gonna be like, damn, like can't be too happy because something bad's gonna happen. And every single time when I was too happy, I'm like, wait a minute, I'm too happy. This feels too good to be true. Like what's about to happen? But then it's like, I don't wanna, you shouldn't think like that. But after like it's been done over and over and over again, every, now you start to have like this doubt that this person actually is gonna discard you one day. What does that constant doubt and that constant apprehension feel like? It feels like really terrible because I will be having the best time and having so much fun with somebody. But a part of me is just feeling kind of bad because I'm like, damn, this is going to end soon, huh? You know what I mean? Do you believe in love? I do believe in love. Just because it's not happening to me doesn't mean like other people, it's not happening to other people. Like I think I've seen a lot of love in my life. So I know it exists. Yes. I think I need to learn how to be happy by myself. What's your name? My name is Ella. Hunter. What's a dream you've let go of? I gave up falling in love. My whole life has been one heartbreak after another, and I don't want to go through it anymore. When I meet someone, I don't even get a spark because I'm so numb. All my friends seem happy in their relationships, and I try to be happy for them, but I still get upset. I just have to accept that love isn't for me. Having a relationship like my grandparents, they fell in love so young and have only loved each other. Growing up, I thought that's how love would be, but you don't see that anymore. And part of me feels like there's too many options now and love is impossible. It seems like anyone I talk to is just waiting for the next person. No one wants to settle down. My first question for you is, and I'm very excited to hear you talk about this, who was your greatest love and why did you fall in love with them? My greatest love would have to be my husband. He met me through my art and I've never had anyone kind of see me through what I put out there and draw before they see me because we met online like it was crazy what do you mean you met through your art he has been following my comics if i haven't told you yet i do comics online so it's called tish draws and i post memories and slice of life kind of moments um because i'm forgetful and he's been following me for a while and it just so happened that he messaged me asking if I could have dinner with him sometime because he noticed that I live in New York now. I moved from Manila, Philippines to New York. And it was my first year here. And that's when he reached out. Okay, so walk me through when he reaches out because making comics, I'd imagine you would be nervous, maybe like he's an obsessed fan or he's like not legit. Stalker. Stranger danger for sure. But it was weird because it was a time in my life when I told myself, you know i i lived here for a year and i was disgusted with the dating scene like absolutely horrified i was just like oh god but um i told myself all right this next date if i don't if this doesn't work out i'm gonna be alone forever and then his dm pops up on my page and i go like well what could go wrong you know so you're like i already hate the dating scene exactly i might as I'll go and see where this goes. And so what was his opening line? You got to what was the message? The message was, hey, Tish, I I'm not online a lot, but I love your sense of humor and I love the way you see the world. And I was wondering if it would be the same face to face. And so would you want to go out with me, even if it's just to eat? And I was like, free dinner. All right, let's go. What's his name? Akeem. Akeem. Akeem is lying. He is online all the time and he was looking at your stuff every day. Period. You know how many times he probably typed that message and deleted it? That's what I'm saying. He's had 10 drafts. And later on, he told me, yeah, I checked that with around 10 friends to see if it sounds human. But okay, so then you answer and you say, free dinner. Free dinner, let's go. Walk me through that. Yeah, so we meet up in a restaurant. I had to go to the bathroom to double check his name because, you know, it's just like, damn, right, stranger. and he basically... Were you avoid saying his name in the beginning because you weren't sure? Well, I had to go to the bathroom and double check the DM and then run back and be like, right, hi Keem. And yeah, it was insane because he was so soft-spoken. That was what I remember about him. He was so gentle and I remember kind of the laundry list I had in my head about my ideal husband slash partner and I was like because I'm so loud and just expressive I feel like it would be a balance to have someone a little more gentle and that what got me kind of locked in I need to ask you when did you know you loved him I realized I loved him on the second date I kind of knew I would marry him by the second date, which is, I know it might be creepy, but I think I've kind of arrived at a time in my life where I had my priorities straightened out and I knew what I wanted. When in our second date, we were skating in Dumbo and I was I would be the type to dance as I roller skated. And he went in and danced alongside me, moving his body. And I was like, yo, he's not afraid to go there with me. And as we skated, time slowed down. Like, you know how New York makes movies out of every single scene? That was a movie in my mind. and I play it all the time in my head and that's when I knew I had a partner that can dance a long life with me. Do you remember the first time saying I love you? Yes, that was after we attended Comic-Con. New York Comic-Con, I cosplayed. We had so much fun. After the whole day, we were at his apartment just sitting down. I'm sorry, what did you cosplay as? I cosplayed as this niche, alien, sexy girl named Lum the Invader Girl. I was like, okay, I'm going to test out if he is insecure or not, whatever. And he was totally fine with it, holding my stuff, supporting me from afar. What did he cosplay as? He had a panda shirt on. But after that, we like, yeah, sat down on the couch and it just came out. I couldn't hold back. It was too magical. So it's like, oh my God, you accept me and my full nerd-dom. Yeah, I love you. So, and it was at this point, like three months into dating, I think, or two. You know, sometimes it feels like a game where, damn, if I care too much too fast, maybe, you know, they won't catch wind of it or it might be too much too soon. But this was also the first time I was really kind of, you know what? No, I want to be honest with myself. I don't want to have to pretend that I don't feel these feelings. And if he's the right one for me, I don't think he's going to push back, you know? So that's when I was nervous, but also I'm also impulsive in a way. So I kind of don't hold back and I say it. And then there's this hesitation afterwards. And then he looks into my eyes and he says, I love you too. And that was like while we were looking through our like Comic-Con merch, just like holding a Ghibli puzzle. Like all this, all this stuff we hoarded. And it was just like, wow, to celebrate what we love doing and who we are as people and also have the most honest, I love you, you know, was the first time that's ever happened to me. And it's insane. Yeah. The first time it's ever happened to you, I have to ask, did you think you were ever going to find love? No, I wasn't optimist. But after like two relationships, like long-term relationships and with the city being what it is sometimes and with all my friends kind of in this place of like, well, I don't even need a man, whatever. And I'm like, yeah, you know, whatever. I stopped believing and I was being okay with it. You know, it was fine. But when I started feeling it and being afraid of the feeling and realizing I want to take the risk because I would rather have said I did it and feel the pain than not have done it, doing it at all. It's like, yeah, it's here and it's real and I can still get that if I try, if I'm honest with myself. So it's crazy to kind of see that happen in real time and to have not been disappointed yet. That's so good. How did Akeem propose to you? He proposed right here in this park, Pine Bank Arch, a couple of blocks away. I should have met you there. I know, Pine Bank Arch, it was amazing. It was supposed to be his birthday celebration that day. So we were on the way to skate in the Wolfman skating rink right there. So in my head, it was just like me and him, we're gonna skate, but then we head to the arch and then this person, just like yourself, goes up and says, can I do an interview? You guys are so cute. I was like, what? It was just like me for real. Exactly. Kind of, well, we have a thing, but he goes, yeah, sure. Let's do an interview. I'm like, are you crazy? We have things planned, but okay, let's go. And then he goes, he's asked about, you know, how did you meet? Stuff like that. That person's stealing my lines. That's what I'm saying. What the heck? And so I was like, sure. And they eventually get to this question of, where do you see yourself, you know, in a couple of years? And he's like, well, hopefully I see her by my side. And, you know, I can't see life without you. And then he starts, like, going, like, slowly. And I was like, you're not, like, I started going, tearing up. People stopped in their tracks, you know, like, oh, you know. And then he pops the question, wrong knee, wrong hand. I put out the wrong hand, too. And then, you know, it turns out he enlisted these friends a month ago, asked my parents two months ago or a month ago, and got all our friends to, like, meet us after the proposal in a karaoke booth. Like, full circle. So, yeah, this park, and, you know, is magical because this is where it all started, you know, the marriage, the proposal, and then, yeah, it's crazy. Tish, how do you know that you love Akeem and how do you know Akeem loves you? So love has been evolving for me over time. When you start off and then kind of go through the motions, go through the rose-colored glasses, and then you get real with each other. We both have our own therapists and we also have a couple's therapists. And when we kind of talk about the hard stuff and the good stuff and I see the follow through, I see the action, I see the change, I see how he loves my family, how he loves my art, how he pushes me to to publish and do all the stuff like that's love. It's it isn't just like wow a description or a text or an idea or a movie. It's every day it's constant. It's forgiveness. It's arguing but also loving each other. It's just it's grace. Like the more I experience it, the more I feel like it's grace and it's pure and it's hardship. So it's evolving over time. And yeah, that's what I got from him. And for me, you know, it's kind of the love that we kind of carve out over the space and time in the future and in our lives like i'm committing myself to this plan together and growing this love we have he would say kind of we're french now it's we we we you know so i'm like all right you know doing that um we stuff every day all the time um it's it's like i'm no longer just an individual we're like a we situation yeah yeah i've always thought that whenever a relationship is really really really good you should still go to couples therapy yeah you should still always be working towards how can this be better and how can I accommodate for you you accommodate for me how are we still loving each other yes sometimes you get so comfortable you're like oh no I'm so happy I don't need anything it's like but you might yeah no honestly like um we started couples therapy before we got married and right up to now and it's kind of like having the best tools possible to make good decisions and to be accountable for the changes that are happening. Things can be so crazy as you go through life together. And if you don't know how to communicate and make sense of that, then, you know, it becomes really challenging to navigate. And couples therapy isn't because you have a problem. It's because you want to be better for each other. And yeah, that's so, so well said. That's amazing, first of all. And I'm so happy that you are advocating for couples therapy because I feel like there's a negative connotation. It's like, no, no, I'm not going because I hate my partner. Some people do that. Right. But I'm not going because I want to be with this person for the rest of my life. Exactly. The stigma is crazy. And I get that reaction when I say, yeah, we go to couples therapy. It's like, oh, what's wrong? It's like, nothing's wrong. It's so good that we just, exactly, want to be better. And I kind of advocate that with every new couple or my married friends. Like, hey, guys, you know, there are rough patches that we're just so ill-equipped to face ourselves without the proper communication tools and a way of unpacking. And every single time we do it, we feel closer. We feel like things make sense again, and we're ready for what's to come. So I do 100% support couples therapy. And a lot of times the conflicts that arise, that's our first time experiencing those conflicts. So it's better that we know how to react when those things happen or that it happened, how do I react to this? I don't know. What's my gut response? and what's maybe the preferred approach, what's the best approach for both of us. Exactly. I think that that's really important. Akeem. What is Akeem's smile like? Billion megawatt infinity, like, so, so, like, with a bit of mischief, you know? But he has, like, he's so proud. Like, I have never had braces. I had the perfect smile since I was born, and I'm like, yeah, no, I mean, I believe you, but don't be an asshole about it. Like, you know, I love his smile. And he looks at you with such intensity, but like still chill, which is a weird combination. Yeah. Can I see a picture of you two? Yeah, sure. I'd be so honored. I'm imagining what Akeem looks like in my head. Which one do I do? Yeah. There he is. Here, hold it up to this camera here. Beautiful. I do see what you're talking about. I love nerds, yeah. I do see that smile. That's frustrating. He's never had braces. Yeah, no, for real. Like, you save so much money. You're ridiculous. This is so beautiful. My last question, what's it feel like to know that you have your soulmate? It's a comfort, really. It's a strange comfort that everything around you is burning. But at least I have my person. At least I have this anchor to everything important and everything that, you know, will be life moving forward. Like, things can change. Jobs can be lost. Friends will move. Family moves on. But my person is my anchor. So, yeah, it's amazing. I was drawn to love, for sure. You found your anchor. Yes. What's your name? Tish. My name is Tish. Hunter. Can I hug you, Tish? Yes. You're awesome. Thank you. There are times when love feels impossible, something that can only happen to other people, but the truth is, we can't control when or how we fall in love. All we can do is say yes when it happens. Thank you.