Redefining Success with JM Ryerson

You are now tuning in to discover your potential. So listen, participate. Be inspired. Know that you can discover your potential. Welcome to Discover Your Potential. I'm your host, Ann Gilman. And I wanted to mention that we have partnered with David Meltzer's podcast studio and they've sent over very special guest. The very special guest today is J. M. Ryerson. J. M. Ryerson is a mindset coach. He's the host of Let's Go Win Podcast, an author of the Amazon bestsellers Let's Go Win, the keys to living your best life, and Champions Daily Playbook. He coaches leaders, entrepreneurs, and teams on peak performance on how to live their best lives. His passion is to help others succeed at work, at home and in life by offering simple tools that provide a work life balance. First, I'd love to talk about your childhood and what inspired you to become so passionate to help others be successful. Well, in terms of my childhood, man, I was really fortunate. I had an amazing family. My parents are just absolutely incredible. I had an older sister, younger brother, and just, you know, played a lot of sports growing up, ended up studying abroad. Really started reading a lot of books when I studied abroad. And I guess that got me into the whole self-development and really wanting to, you know, share other ideas with people. I think that's where it started. But I've always been a fan of being on team sports. And so I think everyone has the ability to win. And I like to lift other people up around me to do so. And it just became something I became passionate about. So I did financial services for years. But I didn't really know much about that world. I just built teams and I was constantly coaching people on psychology, on various things in sales, on then it just started into personal stuff, whether it's relationships, or your business, or parenting. And it's not to say that I'm an expert on any of those things. That's certainly not where I'd ever try to come from. But rather, if there's something there that's lacking, where can we go find that information? For me, it's typically in a book. And then I like to share that information. And it just is so rewarding and fulfilling. When you find someone that doesn't believe in themselves, but you see the potential. And if you have just even a little bit of the able to help them reach their potential or go pass anything they thought, that to me is the most rewarding thing you can do. And so it's just something I'm passionate about. I love doing it with people in business. I love doing it with people in their relationships. And so it's just developed into this company. It's just every single day I wake up excited because our goal is to inspire people, live their best lives. And I know that will never be attained. Therefore, every single day, I have my work cut out for me and a lot of work to do. So it's fun, Dan. I'm having a lot of fun with it. You talk a lot about mindset, obviously. But for our listeners who may not know what is a mindset and you also state, you know, what's a mindset or a state of winning, a winning mindset. Yeah, I'm the whole name of my company. Let's go win. It's not necessarily about wins and losses. Although I know people want to make it about that. I understand, but the idea is to set yourself up to win every single day. So I believe if you upgrade your mindset, if you upgrade your habits, you can upgrade your life. Now, I used to say change, but what I realize is change is a lot for people. When you say change, people, their defenses go up. They're like, you know, we don't like change, but upgrade. Everybody loves to upgrade. And that's all you're really trying to do is say, do you like where you're at today? And if the answer is no, okay, what can we upgrade to get you there if it's your health is lacking? Great. Maybe we look at your diet or exercise. If let's say you're negative, perhaps we upgrade what you do in the morning. So instead of hopping up and checking out your phone and immediately going to the news or social media, maybe we want to choose something different, like listening to a podcast, like listening to something motivational, something inspiring, instead of letting the networks or, and again, this is not a bash on media, but what sells on media, that's not necessarily the most positive thing for your brain. But we really have become conditioned, especially with those computers that we have in our phone, and you know, in our phone available to us in our hand or in our pocket, we can have access to anything at all times. Well, that's really good, but it can also be very detrimental to your mindset and to your health. And so what I really focus on is just looking at some basic habits, how do you wake up every day? What are you doing to feed your mind, your body, and your soul? And when we get into it, you'll find some of these things that if you don't pay attention to say, is this how I really want to be run, is this the agenda I want, is this helping me support what I'm trying to do? And if the answer's no, cool, let's upgrade a little bit. Let's just make it a little bit better. We don't need to change it, we just need to upgrade it. Growing up as a child, I had many, unfortunately, many self-limiting beliefs that I faced in my life. I'm not good enough, people don't like me. But what are some tips and tactics so that people can overcome their self-limiting beliefs? And that actually can also stem to, for weak kids too, because they always get things thrown at them. It's such a good question, Dan. I appreciate that because the truth is, most of our self-limiting beliefs, we inherited, they were given to us at a very young age. So it's called hardwiring. And before the age of five, you are literally, and I've heard various statistics on this, but you are getting about 70 to 80% of your hardwires put into your brain. So if your parents, let's say, relationship with money is not positive, you are going to pick up on a lot of their cues and now that becomes yours. So I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy. I'm never going to be successful. Whatever those are, those aren't things that you actually put in, perhaps, that was given to you by your parents unwittingly. And I've done it to my kids as well. And that's the challenge as a parent is, as try as hard as we do to give them the very best, we still have our own emotional baggage, our own experiences that we put onto them. So the first thing to your question is, I suggest to ask yourself, is that real? So for instance, you say, I'm not good enough. Okay, is that real? Where did that come from? Why do you believe that? Just asking yourself a couple of questions to say, well, I don't know why I say I'm not good enough, but it's just something that I've adopted. Okay, if it's not real, how is that serving you? Actually, it's not. It's keeping me back from really reaching my potential, finding the love of my life, whatever it is in business. Okay, the next thing, what can I do to change that? I can seek out somebody that's more successful than I am. Somebody that maybe I grew up with, and they have, you know, led almost identical childhood experience, although they've succeeded, and then maybe I'm not quite there. So reaching out for help. So three basic questions that you can go through to say, is it real? How is that serving me? And what can I do to upgrade my personal story today? If you just slow everything down, and I write that stuff down, because typically, if we're in our head, all of that stuff is created up here. It's not real, but we've created a story to say that I'm not worthy. Why? Where did that come from? And then start discovering the facts that, I don't know where it came from, but I can change it. It is a choice. Yeah. And kind of leading into that question, or out of that question, to where you want to put it. But so many people are not living their best lives, right? So how does a person strive to improve their quality of life? I think the first thing is to ask yourself, what do you really want out of life? And so to live your best life, what is it that you really want and get clarity around that? So for instance, if it's a monetary thing, if you're like, I want $10 million, okay, cool. What do I need to do to get to that level? Maybe I need to change my occupation. Maybe I need to change the people I hang around with. Maybe I need to find a mentor. That's an example of saying, okay, I want something more. What are the things I need to change in my life or upgrade in my life to get there? And so when you get clarity around what you want, and that is not necessarily the easiest thing to do, because with all the things that we talked about before, with the technology, with so much information being around us, being able to quiet your mind, sitting in a quiet place with yourself, writing down, meditating, going on a walk, climbing a mountain. It doesn't matter where it is, but actually quieting your mind to say, what do I want in life? And if I don't have what I'm looking for, what's missing? And if I can figure that out, then I can figure out the solution to go find it. And if you can't figure it out on your own, look for a mentor, look for somebody that has achieved some of the things you're looking for, and ask them questions, because one of the things that is really unique about human beings, they love to help other people. And they're not going to know to say, hey, let's say Dan, your relationship was with money. I wouldn't know to say, hey Dan, are you wanting more money? You could say no, actually I'm really content. Okay, cool. That, so I wouldn't know to reach out, but you know, so don't wait for somebody to ask you if you need help in some area. Reach out, and if you can just do those simple steps, it's amazing how quickly you can really change your outlook and the trajectory of your life. What makes up a successful business that falls into the lap of a successful leader? And then my second question would be, how does one go empowering and inspiring a team? Yeah, again, good questions, because a really successful business, they know who they are, they know who they serve, they're very clear on what they do on a daily basis. Now, some of the greats, you know, books out there, a Patrick Lensionia would be advantage, is a great example of a book that talks about culture. Through these downturns, you've seen companies come and go. So through 08, 9 and 10, companies came and companies went. But the ones that stuck are the ones that really are culturally strong. So the first thing I would say, if you were looking to have a successful business, who are you? What do you represent? And I suggest getting three core values. And the reason I say that, and this is a personal example, one of my first businesses, I had six core values. And I'm standing on stage, I'm giving this story, and I'm telling them all our values, and I get to the six value, and I forgot it. Now, I'm one of the guys in the room that wrote the core values, and I forgot the six core value. Well, it dawned on me that six was just too many. Three is really something that we can all learn, and absorb, and be able to repeat on a daily basis. For whatever reason, the number three is so important to us to be able to remember, whether it's blood, sweat, and tears, the three amigos, three stuages, you can think of so many threes. But from this point, every company, four companies that I've built, we'd always go with three cultural values. And it will get to the point, once you start telling people your values, then you start living it, and talking about it every single meeting that you have. Now, people really know who we are, what we stand for. Now, the second question was for the leaders, for a leader to really step into that role. Once they have established that culture, in my opinion, the most important thing a leader can be is completely vulnerable and transparent. One of the things that I made a real fool of myself early in my careers, I thought I had to look a certain way, I had to sound a certain way, so I dressed a certain way as a leader, but I wasn't comfortable. I wasn't really who I am as a person. Until I got comfortable and tell you, it's completely vulnerable with my people, when I was able to say, look, I have faults, I don't know everything. In fact, I've never met a leader, the strongest leaders that I know, they don't have all the answers, but they're willing to find those answers, or they're willing to surround themselves with people that can do that. And so as a leader, if you're able to really be vulnerable with your team, people want to follow that, but if you're that, know it all, that you have all the answers, how can they really help you? How can they come to you in a time of need with if you're not approachable? So those are some of the keys that I'm working with, with most leaders say, are you willing to be completely open and transparent and vulnerable? Because often it sounds great, but when you put into practice, that can be a scary thing, because now we are talking about completely opening ourselves up to people and saying, here's the good, the bad and the ugly, and I'm here to work with you, not all the time that's comfortable, especially with some of the ways that we've seen leaders in previous generations, but it's changed. Our world has evolved and changed, and I think some leaders today have adopted that, and they're continuing to succeed. Some of not, and you're gonna see them struggle a bit. Let's be honest, holiday shopping can feel like a marathon, but I've found a little shortcut, uncommon goods. It's full of clever creative finds that make you go, oh wow, I've never seen that before, and suddenly gift giving is fun again. The one that really caught my eye was the stay cool adjustable laptop desk. It's made of beautiful bamboo and has built-in USB fans to keep your computer and you from overheating while you work. 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He was a genius, in fact, he'd led many companies, but more recently, before he passed away, Apple was his flagship. Well, talk about a visionary. I mean, he said things that were completely outlandish that people like you'll never achieve that, and he never, ever doubted, at least publicly, that it was going to happen. And he did expect people to fall in line, and even if it seemed impossible, think different. And that was the whole idea with the Apple is like, look, we can do this, just because your limiting beliefs say we can't, or just because the experts say we can't, why not? We can't think differently. And obviously Steve Jobs, the musks of the world, they've changed the world by simply saying, but why? We can do this. And he was notorious for pushing people to be better than they thought they could be. So it's a great example of a leader that was truly visionary. Yeah, I know you mentioned one quality of leaders, but there are several qualities that leaders should, that you feel should follow, or what are the qualities that should have? Well, certainly having empathy. One of the, I always kind of fall in the sword first because of all the mistakes I've made as a leader. I wasn't empathetic when I was in the beginning. So for instance, you're working with the sales team. And I don't know anybody that wants to come to the job and suck at their work. That's not what they want to do. But often we will label them as incompetent or lazy or unable to perform their job when the truth is, they probably just don't have the skills or support necessary for them to succeed. So having empathy and saying, hey, Tom, it looks like you're struggling here. What's really going on? And what you tend to find out is, maybe they have a mom that's sick at home that they're taking care of. Perhaps they have a child that needs extra attention. I mean, there's always more to the story than just the metrics that you see at work. And so learning to be empathetic, asking some personal questions and really letting them know that I care. And the famous quote that's always stuck with me is, people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. And that really resonated with me as I, got into my early 30s, mid 30s to say, you're right. How, why would I care about your opinion until I know that you actually give a care about who I am as a person? So that's certainly empathy is huge, vulnerability, and then confidence. One of the things that most leaders do is they are confident, but the reason they're confident is because they know that they have a great team behind them. They know that they have people that have bought into the vision. So you're stronger as a team than you are as an individual person. And you can feel confident to go out and fail and know that you have people behind you that are supporting you. And if you can do that from the very top, then guess what? People in the lower position say, it's okay to fail because there's a team that can support me. So often people don't want to fail, but why? Some of the greatest discoveries in mankind have come from failures. So why are we so ashamed and worried about the repercussions of failure? Well, again, that's a condition. That's something that we've learned to sweep it under the rug or kind of don't show that you fail because that's a bad thing. But culturally in my companies, I will give you a high five, a hug, and tell you what a great job because you were willing to put yourself out there. Now, we're gonna look at how do we not fail the next time, but congratulations and great job for putting yourself out there. And can you also, I'd love to talk to you about your podcast. What would you like the listeners to know about the work that you're doing and the guests and people that you speak with? Yeah, well, it goes back to the core values of my company, which is Courage, Fund and Transcend. So in the episode, we talk to people from all walks of life, whether you're an executive, you're an athlete, you know, you're an entrepreneur. I love talking to people and hearing their stories. Now, it's not gonna be all sunshine and rainbows. I wanna hear, how did you fail? What were some of the hard challenges that you were able to overcome? Show me how you were courageous. And so you get these amazing stories of how they overcame adversity or tragedy or failures one after another. So that's how the show kinda starts. Then we get into the fun part, which is, let's talk about some of the successes that you had, being able to achieve things way beyond what you thought were possible. And then the transcend part is, what are you really looking to do? More than you ever thought, because again, overcoming those self-lemening beliefs, to me, it's just, it's the coolest thing to see. And there's like a glow and like a light around people when you hear, this is what I really wanna do. And you feel the passion come through. So it's just fun, man. It's 30 to 45 minutes, depending on the guests. And it's just, it's very conversational. And you get to hear these stories of people that, some of my favorite episodes were dentists that have changed the world in their own way. And you'd think, okay, how many teeth can you change to really help people? But they do so much more than that. And that's what's so interesting about human beings in general. You can say, all right, Dan is a talk show hosting. There's amazing podcasts and all this radio. But there's so much more to Dan than just that. If I were to ask you questions, Dan's a father, Dan's son, Dan does all these other things. But when we put this label on I'm ex, we'll get this much. And so I like to explore it with people and really find out what else is in their world and hear the raw come out about who they are and let them share that with the world. Have you, in your career, in your work, in your life, have you had challenges that you face too? Oh, absolutely. And I mean, I have failed over and over again. My second company was six years of hell. I don't know how else to say it. It was, and it wasn't because the wrong people were in the room. It wasn't because there were bad people. It was because we weren't aligned from a value set. For so for six years, as much as I coach on taking full responsibility, not being a victim, I sort of fell into that trap for that long. And then once I realized, I have a choice in this matter. I don't have to be here. This is a choice to be here or not. And once you take control of that and you say, I have the ability, the choice to choose differently. Once I took control of that again, it was like, I don't know how I slipped into that, but it happens to all of us, whether it's a relationship, I'm stuck here. It's a job, I'm stuck. Look, you're never stuck. Those are choices that you're making. So yeah, Dan, I could tell you many examples of me continuing to fail over and over. But you know what, that's how you learn, in my opinion. I learn way more from losing than I ever have from winning. And that's again, some of the funny parts about, let's go win. All these things are just things I learned like, okay, that wasn't so great. Let's tweak that so we can get a little bit better every single day. Yeah. And people can get your books on Amazon. Correct. Yeah, they can. Both. Both let's go in and Champions Daily Playbook. Let's go in as a little bit more substantial reading. It's about I think 169 pages. You can read it if you hopped on a plane from New York to LA. You should be able to finish it and have a bunch of tangible takeaways. Champions Daily Playbook, if you want to upgrade or achieve a goal in 90 days, grab that thing because literally that's what I coach on every single day. I follow it every single day and it literally, I hate to say life changing because I don't want to sound so cliche. But it really has the ability, the system in there to allow you to accomplish things that you didn't think were possible. That's great. What would it be that you would love to leave with our listeners today? That's my other question. What would you want them to learn? And also, I'd like to get them, like to get your information to them. So if they want to reach out to you and get in touch with you and, you know, work with you potentially or, you know, whether it's a company or I'm assuming you also work individually as well with people. So with both. So if they need to reach you, what's the best way for them to do so? Yeah, brother, I appreciate that. So I would leave people with first off is find what you really want and go get it because so often people choose to compromise and compromise and compromise. And that's fine. And two degree life is a compromise. However, never stop dreaming, never stop going for those and going to achieve whether again, that's your relationship, that's your job, that's with your kids. You have the choice today to 100 be your authentic self to love and live this amazing life that we're given that we're not on this planet for very long. So you may as well have a good time while doing it. So that would be what I'd want people to leave with you are absolutely worthy of that. And that's okay if you don't have it right now, but it's inside of you to go get it. And it doesn't have to be radical changes. It's literally really small upgrades that you can make on a daily basis that allow you to get there. In terms of working with me or reaching out, always check us out at Let's Go Win.com. There's the free work life balance on there. There's a bunch of I write an article every single week. So I'd love for you guys to check that out. I'm proud of that work. And you can also reach us at info at Let's Go Win.com or let's go win 365 on any social media. So it's pretty simple. It's let's go win everywhere. And it's really a movement then that I want more people to get on board with because I think this life is amazing. And I love sharing the joy and wins with everyone. And the more people winning out there, everyone starts to win. So I'm a huge fan of that. And I'd love to hear from the audience. That's great. Well, thank you so much for your time today. Truly, truly appreciate it. I know my mom would have loved to connect with you, but she's connecting in spirit anyway. So. I appreciate it, Dan, so much. And as I told you off, I was an incredible thing that you're doing, continuing her legacy. And it's remarkable because it's a lot of work, what you do, brother. And I appreciate you so much. Keep up the great work. This is Cindy Gilman and you're listening to Discover Your Potential. So until next time, do something nice for yourself, but do something nice for someone else.