Hey, it's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning on the Second Aid Podcast, and some would say that texting is more of a visual thing. Yeah, a thousand percent. Except for we decided to do a whole segment about it anyway. Yeah! It's called textual healing. It's where you're stuck in a text conversation, you're not sure what to say next. We come in and help you solve that issue. Yeah! Sometimes helping, sometimes making it worse. Yeah, and Fun Fact Editor Ashley said this is her favorite segment we do so. Oh, okay. That's gonna work. I mean, we had to do it since your generation, Alexis, refuses to make phone calls. Oh, yeah. I know. It's more out of necessity. All right, well now you know what it is, let's get it going. In a new relationship, there's all sorts of little things that can give you the ick. So many, dude. Like if they part their hair the same way your dog does. Like your dog? Just right in half? Tell the back? If after every kiss, they giggle and in a baby voice say, Do it again, mama. Oh, Jeff! That voice is great. There is no coming back from those. You can be the friend ick, Jeff. That's why one of our listeners needs our help today. Cause she's been dating this great guy and the one thing that might be giving him the ick is the awkward text exchanges that they've been having. And like just this morning she got a message, she has no idea how to respond to. So we're gonna try and step in and help her out with a textual healing coming up. Right after this one. Uh-uh, she'll stop. I don't like it. It's getting stronger and stronger when I get that feeling. Textual healing, textual. Needless to say, this morning show has many, many skills using our fingers. Pencil tricks, tummy tickles, me and Jose pinching our noses when we pass by Brooks' lunch. Oh, you have to. We are very, very good with our fingers. I didn't know you could smell cauliflower so much. Yeah. I'm sorry. It's not pleasant. Uh-uh. Yeah. Especially when you put it in the microwave. Yeah, so don't mess with the theory. With spinach. Horrible. But you know what, maybe our best finger skill is texting. Oh. And we like to help our listeners come up to our level with this segment called textual healing where we help somebody with their texting conversation when they don't quite know what to say. And today's honored guest who needs some tender textual healing is Dory. So let's welcome Dory to the show. How you doing? Hi, everybody. Hey, Dory. Hey, Dory. You hungry? You want some of my lunch? I'll give you some. Yeah, death by garlic. Say no. Say no. It sounds sad, you'll be. She's lying. Yeah, she does. That's all right. I like Dory. Dory, you reached out for us because you need help with some texting. Who are we going to be texting today? Yes. You guys, I met this guy and we've been going out three or four weeks. It's not exclusive. We haven't had the exclusive talk, but in real life, I really, really like him. Oh. That's awesome. What are you feeling? In virtual life, do you like him too? Not so much. What? No, in texting life, it's a problem. The thing is, we're together, it's great. I have no issues. I really like him again, but when it comes to texting, we're off. Really? I know exactly what you mean. Maybe he's just not, I mean, I feel like there's a lot of people out there that don't know how to keep a conversation going on text. Is that what it is? Is it feel like you text him and then things just stop? I'm just not sure what it is. It's really not vibing. It's like, it's so different from how we are when we're together. Do you have an example of how your texting isn't meshing with each other? Yeah, actually I do. So one time, he texted me and he said, when you come over later, the neighbor's kids have challenged us to a water fight. OK. Water, OK. That's cute. That is cute. Right, that was a cute text. And so I texted back. I said, oh, that sounds like fun. I'm in. Yeah. That's a good response. Squirt got emoji. And then he texted, should I wait for you to boil the water? Wait, he's going to pour boiling water on the neighbor children and he's being funny, right? I mean, I was confused. I was like, what? And then he was just like, oh, he was just joking. Yeah, yeah. But that's an example I'm trying to say of why it's off. In real life, I don't seem to have that confusion. In real life, you get jokes on jokes. Got it. Well, you could see the water boiling in real life. That way, there's no question. This is a thing. You have bad text chemistry. Usually, you talk about this a lot, though, Jose. Is that a bad thing, though? Is it like bad for a relationship? You know? You want to be excited to text them. Like, are you worried about this? If you're dating, you're not going to text all day anyway. That's true. I mean. I am a little bit worried about it because it sets a dynamic off. Like, I don't know to go forward or what. OK, so you feel like every time that you guys do a text conversation, it's like subtracting from your relationship in real life. So where are you at right now in your convo with him via text? It's still confusing to me. Like, actually, today, he texted me something. That's why I'm calling you guys. I don't know how to respond. OK. So I sent him a text. Let me read it to you. OK. I said, hey, that computer that you let me borrow, do you know how much RAM it has? OK. It sounds like a bad pickup line to me. Did he let you borrow a computer? Yeah. Well, he let me a computer. OK. It was a really serious question. I needed to know for downloading or whatever. OK. I was serious about it. And he responded, you guys. He said, sorry, I don't know. It was a friend of mine, and he's dead now. Oh. Wow. Oh my god. OK. I mean, he could have been joking again. It's a dark story. How do you read that? Very dark. I don't know what to think. I mean, I didn't respond or text back because I don't know whether to make a joke. If he was joking, if it's really true, then I might say something that's insensitive to what a dead man needs to use emojis more. Yeah. That would help. So we're responding back to this text with you right now about his friend possibly dying. Yeah. OK. Can you just write back, are you serious? Question mark or is that? That sounds kind of cold and heartless. I think that no matter what happens, especially early on in a relationship, you want to keep things as light and as playful as possible. He mentioned a dead friend, so. But maybe. But he was joking about the water balloons and boiling water on top of children. Clearly, his sense of humor is a little bit different. So what if you write back and you say, uh-oh, is this computer cursed? OK. No, no, no. If he's dark, you've got to go darker. Be like, how did you kill him? What? Ask him, how did you murder your friend? That curse was dark enough. What? What if you said, how about we get out the Ouija board and ask him? See, that's funny. That's dark. Dory, what do you think? Lots of options to choose from there. None of them are being normal at this point, though. You have to get back with a dark sum. Well, she didn't come to us for a normal response to be like, oh, sorry. You're right. We need a fun, playful response. You want a seance to talk to the friend to figure out the realm. I mean, that's acknowledging what he said. It's joking back in a not mean way. Yeah. What do you think, Dory? I do like where you're coming from. So I feel like I could say something like, well, can we have a seance so we can find out? OK, I like that. Oh, and then you could use that crystal ball emoji. Oh, yeah. They're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're a fortune teller. And not a seance, but whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Or the handles. If you're kidding. I think the message will come through either way. Why don't you type that out and send it to your new guy friend here? I'm going to do it right now, you guys. OK. You have to do it right now. That's the point. Yeah. What are you doing? Did we get his name? We didn't ask for his name. OK. Do we need it? OK. She's busy writing right now. Yeah, I don't want to distract her and ruin the text. I was laughing while she was typing in. She thinks she's so funny. It is funny. All right, I'm going to send it. All right, let's do it. And send. OK. All right. There's no way he's like, actually, my friend does haunt me. I'm a dare you, you know? It could come back to me. I have one plan this Friday. So that works out perfectly. But this is fun enough. It's right in the middle, you guys. Yeah, we've laid the groundwork for a nice playful conversation for the rest of the way. We're going to come back and see if he responds to that. Or the other friend. Ooh, for the great. Before we let her go. What's his name? Who are we texting? Andre. Andre. Andre. Here we go. We'll see if Andre responds. OK. And we continue textual healing right after this. We're in the middle of textual healing with our listener, Dory. And normally, we get a lot of relationship stuff on this segment about how to text your crush, the UPS guy, how to text Brooke's husband to get him out of the house so Roy, the traveling salesman, can come over. We got a lot of excuses for that one. But text with Roy is fine, though. Yeah, just with the husband. You got a lot of chemistry. I'm kidding, honey, if you're listening, there's no Roy. This is a little bit different, though, because Dory needs our help texting the guy that she's just started dating. All their in-person chemistry is off the charts. It's just when they're all in the phone texting, it can get a little bit rocky, and they can't tell when the other person is joking or not. Oh my god, we, you know, I still don't fully know either. Yeah, that's actually why she emailed us today, because she was asking him over text about a computer that she borrowed and how much RAM it has. He responded with, I don't know, that computer belonged to my dead friend. So that put us at an interesting fork in the road. Do we take that seriously or assume that it was a joke? I mean, like Alexa said, this is why emojis were invented. He needs to be using them. You need to know the inflection and the voice, your emotions. He joked before with a previous text, so we went down that road again and wrote back, well, maybe we should do a seance to find out. Trying to be playful, and I'm thinking, like after we did it, I'm worried, like did we really do that? That's a little bit, it is a little bit dangerous. We can apologize. We can come back on it. I am interested to see if Andre has replied to it. Dory, have you gotten any word back? Yes. Oh no, what did he say? Drama. Okay, he said, oh, snap, do you believe in that too? We should 100% emoji do a seance for our next date. Okay. Oh, okay. He's not offended. He continues, if he responds, you're going to love him. He's a great guy. Oh, wait, that makes me seem serious. Yeah, that's what I'm worried about. How do you read that, Dory? Do you think he's joking back, or is he being serious now? I think he believes in ghosts. I don't even know. Okay, wait, where do you stand on that belief? Are you down having a seance with your new boyfriend? We're kidding, Brooke, she's not going to have a real seance. It does mean that it actually is the friend's laptop, and the friend's dead. See, I'm 100% on the joking side. But you think he's joking? People that joke around nonstop like me, never stop. That's why it says nonstop, Brooke. Like he just took it too far. Exactly. He's not going to stop. I don't know if he is, because if he'd sent the text without mentioning the friend specifically, then I would think it's a joke. So where are you at? But the fact that he's bringing up his friend might mean that that's serious. And that you're going to meet him? I think he thinks you're going to meet him. Which would be cool. That's a step in a relationship. Meeting the close friends. That's been interesting. But I'm just saying. Isn't it a little bit too soon to be meeting the dead friends? Don't you have to give it a few months? I don't know if there's a rule book for that one. Okay, okay, now meet my great-grandma. Let's find her. It's like you just meet all the relatives. You guys, I'm so worried now. I mean, what do I say? Okay, okay, now we got to legitimately find out if this is a joke or not. Right? Do we need to do that, Brooke? Well, what else do we do? We just keep on the road and we don't know whether we should show up on Friday night for a seance. The trains in motion. Don't jump in front and try to stop it now. We could keep joking. Why don't you say this? Why don't you say this? Truth is, it'd be my first seance. What should I bring to that type of date? What do I wear? Yeah. I like it. Alex just doesn't like it, no. No, I do. Alex is being polite. She always says yes to everything. But I would also totally do a seance. So you should say that if you don't want to do it. But you need to know, like, do you bring a bottle of wine? Do you need to wear a black dress? Like, where are we at? Are you actually open to a seance here, Dory, for real? Not really. Okay. Yeah. But maybe there's a way we can joke and back off. I really like you guys' response of truth. It'll be my first seance. What should I bring? I like that. You like that? Well, now you do what you do. Okay, then just send that. Send it. Let's just send it. Okay, you guys, I've texted it. Okay. I've texted it. And now we'll totally, I think, be able to tell from this text. Because if he says, wear something nice and be respectful for the dead, then you'll know he's serious. If he's like, bring a bunny costume, then you know he's still. Go to a pet cemetery and dig up a dead animal. We need the bones from it. See that? I don't need that. I don't need that. I don't need that. I don't need that. I don't need that. That could be quick for a G's. He's really excited about the seance. He must be. He said, oh, are you serious? That could be a deal breaker for me. What? What? Oh, doing it or not doing it. Wait. No. Not asking what to wear. No. Admitting that it's her first time. Or he's, or me being into it as a deal breaker. I don't know why. The opposite. Not being into it's bad. Oh. Yeah. Just say it. I was joking. What is he can decide what the joke was? Can we joke back and say like oh thank God cuz I was worried I was gonna fall in love with your dead friend You were worried his friend was gonna hit on you I mean Cuz remember our like our mission here is just to try and connect with Andre this guy that she's texting and it is off It is Well, we're talking too much about entrees possibly dead friends. I like I like your joke. I think your jokes funny Okay, like I do I liked your version of it though a little bit better than mine. Oh, okay I was worried that he was gonna hit on me anyway. Yeah ghosts have a thing for me So I was worried he was gonna fall in love with me anyway What you're showing by doing that is that you're like a light playful person you don't take things too seriously You're just trying to like have a good time with it right I'm not being judgmental or whatever Yeah, let's just send that maybe you could put a laugh emoji on the Remind him he can use those too Alexis lead by example All right, so let's see I'm getting it Do you always have this big of like like a buildup every time you send a text to anybody? Like hype yourself up for this man. I think maybe just with you with Andre No, it's just because you know, it's so new and I really like him and I don't want to okay All right, so okay, I've written it Button send there we go You All right, I mean I just feel like we're not like crossing the line here. We're not being offensive We're just being playful and jokey and fun Dude if he writes back and is like no say on He's really fast what did he say he said the laugh emoji Messing with you. I I I don't have a dead friend Thank God, but we should text more you're funny He wants her to text more Yeah, I don't know if we can be there for every single text conversation that you have but you know what we'll do We'll give you Brooks new landline She's the only one in the entire city who has one now, you know, she's gonna answer You feel like we've helped you out there Dory can we leave you to it now? I think you guys Going forward our Texas will die better together now, I think yeah, you need to read every text from this man as a joke On Do those voice texts from now on yeah, you don't frustrate people with your slow texting That's textual it's broken Jeffrey in the morning Well that was one where the texting chemistry was definitely off. Yeah Yeah, I mean is that a no-go for you in the start of a relationship like if you guys don't have good text chemistry Will it work? I mean if you can get on the same page not a lot of times it starts that way But yeah, if you can never find it I don't know if you can be with somebody in their case I feel like the last texting the better like I would never say phone calls are better ever but maybe For them, it's the one time or maybe they should just stop with words and only do emojis. Yes again There was a lot of emojis this whole thing. Yeah emojis. Yeah emojis really say yes things especially when people aren't very sarcastic Like if you can't pick up sarcasm emojis will help you train that person to understand I'm a big exclamation point person whenever I start producer boy to always reply to me with a ton of exclamation points like mocking me We had a few comments though someone said I like this guy he just has dark humor Yeah, so and you know, we're a fan of dark humor. Oh, yeah, and then someone else said love this I just want to hang out with Dory. I love her personality. Good job team finally. Oh That was a little rude Wait, maybe we're reading it wrong though, you know, it is a comment. There may be miscommunication Yeah, how we reread that one Yeah, I mean we can't really argue it either. No, so hey if you ever have an issue You know, we do have a submit page on our website Which is broken Jeffrey calm where you can submit to be on second dates or we do prank phone calls on our main feed If you want that or textual healing or an offer Tuesday, we got you okay Go to broken Jeffrey calm and don't forget to subscribe. Thank you
