The 3rd "Annual" Howdie Awards (Part 2)

Welcome back to the third How Did This Get Made Howdy Awards, where we'll be continuing our celebration of the finest moments of the last nine years of the How Did This Get Made podcast. If you haven't listened to part one yet, what are you doing? This isn't like Surf 2. You know that movie we covered that didn't actually have a part one? So make sure you've heard part one and then go ahead and listen to my good friend, Tall John Shear, take it away. Hello, people of Earth, and welcome back to part two of the How Do You Awards. We are just getting started. Let's get into it right now with our next category. Best subject of a Jason rant. And the nominees are Jessica St. Clairs, Faberge eggs from episode 181, Free Jack. Why have we decided that Faberge eggs are the universal symbol of something priceless? I think my relatives in South Philly had a couple of those Faberge eggs. Wait, what? Yes, right? No, no, no. Wow. With like the limo, you know, like the shepherd girl. With a shepherd girl? No, they had like Yadro figurines. Yadros, that's what that is. Isn't that the same as a Faberge egg? What are you? You're acting like you've seen one. Where have you seen a Faberge egg? Where? Your family. Never. Imported them. No family has. Nobody has Faberge eggs. Yeah. Have you lost your mind? You're saying like, oh, my family had Faberge eggs and Hummel figurines. Same. Are you insane? That is categorically impossible. Faberge eggs are something that only did. I did. Faberge eggs were made between 1885 and 1917. Okay. They were made for the Russian Czar's, Alexander III, Nicholas II as Easter gifts for their wives and mothers. How many of them are in South Philly? They just a quick count. How many are currently in South Philly? I will tell you this. So there are 65 known Faberge eggs. Okay, I get it now. Great. Only 57 have survived to the present day. Okay. 10 are displayed in the Kremlin. Okay, okay. So that leaves, how many? That leaves some 40 odd. So I'm so wrong. Yes, you are so wrong. I'm so sorry. You're incredibly wrong. I'm so sorry. You are outrageously wrong. You just said, you just said on the podcast, I think my family is so wrong. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. It's a wrap on how did this get made. You did it, Akroyd. You broke the show. Congratulations. Your dream came true. Holy shit. Stripster Club? What world are we living in? That's not cool. What? And, like my good friend Paul says, and no titties? You're gonna call it a Stripster Club, and you're not even gonna let scribbles get an eyeball on some titties? Come on, Akroyd. If I'm not getting hard 2,000 times, then why am I seeing Blues Brothers 2,000? Here, who am I? Who am I? Read, read, read. Stripster. Nope, not doing it. Jim Belushi! What? Stripster Club? Fuck you, movie. The audience in Detroit complaining about the Uggie Loves. From episode 306, The Uggie Loves in the Big Balloon Adventure. I'm Dave Uggie Love. Great. Dave, what's your question? I just want to know if you knew that Real Steel was filmed here? Real Steel, the Hugh Jackman movie, yeah. Was that an option? No. What's his name? This was the only option. Wait, what's his name? What's your name, Dave? Dave. Dave. Uggie Love. Fuck you, we watched Uggie Love. You watched Uggie Love, we made you watch it. Nothing else was considered Uggie Loves. And if we come back to Detroit, Uggie Loves too! Put your phone down. Put your phone down. What I love is that people think that we didn't know there are other choices. Here's the guarantee. Here's my promise to you. I hated this movie. I hated every goddamn second I suffered through this movie. If we come back to this town, we're gonna watch every goddamn sequel of these movies just because you wind about it. Detroit, toughen up! You're supposed to be strong, Detroit! Bring it! Ooh, now that I remember, the audience in Detroit, they were so mad. People were telling me in Detroit, they were like, I want to refund. I would have never have come to this show. And this is the funny thing about it. It's not as if we are doing, you know, this week on the show, you know, one battle after another, sinners. And then we were like, oh, but Detroit will do Uggie Loves. Like, they act as if we have shocked them with the choice. Like, it's bad? You give us a bad... Why did we get such a bad one? To this day, to this day, I have not yet. The 71 episodes or whatever it is later have not seen a reaction like Detroit. If you are complaining about the bad movie that you've been forced to watch for the show, just please remind yourself, you don't need to watch it. You don't need to listen to this. You can unsubscribe. Well, why don't you subscribe? But then, you know, following us does help the whole thing. Sorry, sorry. You know, you can subscribe someone else. Yeah, yeah, that's the right way. Anyway, this is an award that I've been, you know, and look, it means a lot to me, obviously. Well, this is definitely a privilege. Wait, whoa, whoa, what do you mean it means a lot to you? I think that if I've not misunderstood this, I can't lose this award. Well, we'll see. Well, I mean, look, you're right. You know, you came in here, didn't think you're going to win an award to let us see. Because this is a Jason rant. So, this is tailor made for me. Let's see, the Howdy for Best Subject of a Jason rant goes to Jessica St. Clairs Fabergé Eggs from episode 181 Free Jack. Wow. But wait, congratulations, Jessica. Wait, no, Jessica gets it? Well, I mean, no. Well, yeah, Jessica, I'm so sorry, Jessica, we're, Scott, that's supposed to go to Jessica, right? Correct. No, wait a minute. Well, it goes to her eggs, her eggs. Yeah, don't, yeah, don't. Her eggs? I don't think we should be talking about St. Clairs eggs on the podcast like this. This is like very personal. But you know, Jessica's got it. And let's not take anything away from Jess. I think, okay, but that is bullshit because you're telling me. Listen, it is hard. This one, this one I know is a hard loss for you. But actually, as I sit here and think about it, it really should go to Jessica's eggs. Thank you. But my rants are my thing. My rants are, I'm all, I'm nothing if not for my rants. I know, but if you have nothing to rant about, then what? Okay, you know what? I see what's happening. Okay, the writing's on the wall. Okay, the fix is in. No, no, no, no. Okay, all right, I get it. You know what? I'm just gonna fold my sack up and I'm gonna put it over here because I know nothing's going in this sack. That's a tiny sack. I mean, look. It is, it's very, it's a stuff sack. It's a Tom Bin stuff, stuff sack. Boy, I'd love it if Tom Bin made a Howdy's sack. I love it. I do think it would be nice if maybe you talk to Jessica and- Oh God, do I have to? And the Howdy spent a little time in her place and a little time in your place. You know what, shared cuss? Okay. Jason, this is maybe for you. New rule. Jason, right? That's what you always do whenever you do your rant. Is this club random? Well, that's the way you do it. You always, whenever you get into a rant, you go, new rule, right? No, that's Bill Maher. Oh, I thought that was you. Oh wow, this is, this is humbling. New rule, next year, Jason will get a Howdy. Anyway, yeah. Well, I mean, that next year is probably in nine years. There could be another Howdy Award show in a week or eight years. We don't know. The schedule of it. I do think that's fun is to just like, you don't, because we don't know when the award show will happen, like we actually can't really pander. That's true. You know what I mean? It's like, you know that all the Oscar movies are coming out in December. Like for us, it's just like, we gotta be ready whenever, whenever. At the drop of a hat, at the drop of a dead Fred, we might be called upon to Howdy. Well, here's the thing. You know, we've been giving out a lot of awards. I've certainly taken my fair share. I'm like the studio here. And I'm gonna tell you that tonight, we're not just taking home awards for ourselves. We're also opening it to everyone. And our next award is not an award necessarily, but a lifetime achievement. Lifetime achievement for fast nerd in the audience. That's right. We wanna honor one of our favorite nerds ever. There has been a lot of audience nerds who have stood out over the years. We have Pete the S-man, Tim from Largo, Ben Cannon, Leah from Chicago, Jafar. That's just to name a few. I love our ultimate fans. The ones who come in costumes, the ones who come with a notepad, the ones, remember that guy for the Blues Brothers episode who came with a binder, a full binder. It's amazing to me, like people come in costumes, people come, do all sorts of things, but the people who've done their own incredible research and come prepared to give us the information that we're looking for. I feel like Tim is always good for that at Largo. Tim I actually have to say is the best nerd in the sense that he then never makes it about himself. Tim is like under the radar, like in this category, I think. Yeah, Tim, I feel like Tim shares despite himself. Like he, it's not, he's just trying to get information out, but he takes no pleasure in the spotlight. No, not at all. The only spotlight he seeks is just to attack James Acaster. Yes, yes. Now, do you, you were saying that James Acaster did stumble upon that shirt that we made, James Projector? He did text me and say, what is this? Did not realize that. James Projector shirt. She did not realize that we, that we would actually make the shirt that we did today we were gonna make in the show. Oh my God. By the way, speaking of shirts, we have re-released our first two shirts, our ridiculous cage shirt and our What's It's Mission shirts. You can get them in the T-Public Store. All right, so without any further ado though, I think that there is one nerd who rose to legendary status. He showed up in Philadelphia and knew something about Dungeons and Dragons, knew everything about Dungeons and Dragons. Yeah, knew everything. We gave him the mic. He did not abuse that power. He wielded it gently and justly like no other audience member ever did before. Here, take a listen. I'm letting Morgan hold the mic because I trust a DM. I trust a Dungeons and Dragons person with the mic. They understand their role. This is respect. This is respect. And now let me ask you one more question. This is probably the nerdiest question I'll have. Talk to me about dragons. Yeah, so this movie definitely went for more of like a Game of Thrones feel to their dragons, but like in Dungeons and Dragons, their dragons are like intelligent creatures. They're very like proud and vain and they have like treasure hordes and some of them are evil and some of them are good. And for some reason, the good ones are named after crayons in the box and the, sorry, the bad ones are crayons in the box and the good ones are metallic. Yeah. And gold. Okay, so, so, okay. By the way. This is so helpful. This is so helpful. Now can I ask? I just gonna be, yeah, it's just like. We didn't prop this chant. This is an organic chant. You know what? You can take out your phones and take a picture of Morgan. Yeah. Out of curiosity, Morgan. As a D and D, I'm assuming fans since childhood. Question mark? Pretty much. Pretty much. Did you have feelings on this specific movie when it came out? Great question, Jason. Thank you, June. Yeah, were you excited about it? I pride myself in the questions. Yeah, that was a great question. I'm vain like a dragon. Oh, magenta manzuchus. Ooh, with my horde of treasure and gold like smough. Smough is actually a great example of like. Go to hell, Morgan! Yeah. Was just gonna say, Smough is a great example of like what D and D dragons are actually like. I did not see this movie as a child actually, probably because my parents shielded me from it. I wasn't even aware until it was announced for this that this was a movie. Oh wow, okay, there we go. And how did you feel about it just in general? Do you have thoughts? It was so bad. Yeah, Morgan gets it. The rest of you fucking idiots don't. I hated it. Yeah, so, okay, and then I will let you go, I think. Or maybe you have to pull up another chair. Well, we always bring a back chair. Do we have a fourth chair? But, when you're a player in the game, like could I join as a dragon or I'd be a thief or I'd be an elf? You could join as a dragon at certain tables. Got it, you said enough. I'm not welcome everywhere. It's not a default assumption that you can do that. Let me say this, if you're inviting me to play your D and D game, I better be able to be a goddamn dragon. If you wanna play my D and D game, you can be a goddamn dragon. I'm in, wow. Wow, I don't think I can, though. Here's what I'm gonna say. I wanna let Morgan get back to his seat. Where is your seat, Morgan? Are you far away? Okay, can we let Morgan take the mic with him but kill the sound? In case we need him to pipe up, he can stay at his chair. Yeah, all right. Great, great. You can do it. Wow, okay, thank you, Morgan. Give it up for Morgan, a Philadelphia hero. And that's why our howdy for best nerd in the audience goes to the one, the only, Morgan, from episode 335 Dungeons and Dragons. And here is Morgan accepting this prestigious award. I actually don't appreciate being called a nerd. Not like not, I totally do. It makes me so happy when a fellow nerd is pulled from the audience and called a Morgan. I just wanna thank Paul, Jason, June, Scott, and all my fellow Philly Freaks, who let me be a part of that show. It was the coolest thing that's ever happened to me. Or will ever happen to me. And I'm coming to terms with that, I promise. Also, Jason, come play your magenta dragon at my table, Coward. Oh, wow. Okay, I will. Wow, and he just ended on that. That was a real mic throwdown. I love that. He really had a real challenge. Yeah. And he's looking like right done. He's expecting that kind of acceptance speech. So it's interesting to see what people do in these big moments. Do you see this? And then I just got this note pass from Scott here that on behalf of Morgan, since he couldn't be here, I will take the Morgan's Award. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't, you don't have to. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will take it. I will take out the one of them. He ended his thing, he addressed me. Yeah, well, yeah, but I'm gonna take it right now for him. I don't know if you got room in the sack anymore. I got room in the sack. I mean, if anything, Scott should send it to Morgan. Uh, we'll figure that out. I think again, it's about- I don't know if that's to be in Philadelphia anytime soon. We were just there. Come on now. Why do you, I have a quick question. Yeah. Why do you already have so much shelf space cleared out in the bookshelf behind you? Well, I was hoping, I was hoping that we would- You were hoping or you knew? I was just, I thought, look, look, okay. Everybody needs to chill the fuck out, all right? I'm taking care of these awards, okay? Taking care of them. All right. All right, I know how to protect these awards better than anyone else, okay? I know these awards thrive. The third annual Howdy Awards will return after a brief word from our sponsors. These awards thrive here. Anyway, our next category. Best second opinion song. And the nominees are Ned and Rachel's riff on One Day More from episode 200, Action Jackson. I saw a film on Amazon. A most confounding contradiction. But its true fans will carry on. They hold the truth of their convictions. Now they man the barricade. Do you hear what people say? Hence the tide of poor of you in. They don't care what critics think. They will give a passing grade. If you don't like it, then you're dumb. They will give it all five stars. Once or more. It is simply their opinion, not the first. But all five stars. That this movie is fantastic. It's just fantastic. It's all but. It's just stupid. It's all but. I like the Meg. And the haters and the losers can go off and boil their heads. Go ahead and give the Oscar. Are you hearing what I said? Because the only thing that matters now is this my second opinion. Give it up for Ned and Rachel. Jed's riff on Take On Me from episode 222, Unforgettable. Type in a way. Because I've got a lot to say. I'll say it in all caps. And definitely defend this big hunk of crap. It'll make sense. As I write this from my parents' basement. Take it from me. Take it from me. I'm not wrong. This is my second opinion. Thank you, Jed. Wow. And as Riffon can't fight the moonlight from episode 294, Moonfall. The moon's out of orbit. But don't throw a fit. Just get in the Lexus now. If you think the moon won't fall, well, you'd better call Patrick Wilson. Halle Berry and Fuzz all dream the cat. Mega structures and weird shit like that. Need the second opinion stat. You can try to resist how bad this movie is. You know disgraced astronauts can't fight the moonlight deep in the dark. You surrender five stars because you know AI tech fights for the moonlight. Hope Fletcher Jones is okay. Amazing. Oh my God. That's how it's done. That's how it's done. We have not standing ovation. Oh my gosh. What's your name? What's your name? I'm Anna. Anna, thank you. Anna. Mark and Connors Riff on LMFAO's Shots from episode 320, Bats. So I'm Mark. Connors. And now it's time for second opinions. If you ain't watching Bats, get the fuck out of Largo. If you ain't watching Wild Partners with the Special League hero patron, get the fuck out Largo. If you ain't waist deep in Guano, get the fuck out Largo. I love you. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. Everybody, let's watch bats! Yes! Give it up! Yes! Wow. Great job. All slapping. Just escort them out. Oh, my gosh. Escort them out. Just you guys keep walking straight through the door. So there are 672. I feel like the bats version of shots could chart. And the Howdy for Best Second Opinion Song goes to... Bats, bats, bats, bats, bats. That is Mark and Connors Riff on LMFAO's shots from episode 329, Bats. That doesn't seem right. I mean, odd. But you know what? It did get the crowd pumped up. Okay. I mean, sure, but I just feel like we can do better. I mean, look, sometimes it's not about the quality. It's about the audience engagement. I don't want to judge anybody too harshly. Okay. On to our next category. Announcer, please. Best Paul Childhood Story. And the nominees are... 12-year-old Paul goes to a New York City strip club from episode 321, Milk Money. I did bring my friends into New York City one time. We went to Show World with fake IDs. And then... Show World is a strip club. And I went there as a 12-year-old. Paul. You had a fake ID? Well, you went to the store and you got an NYU ID. And it said I was a college student, but I was only 12. And then you showed it to the people at Show World and they would let you in. I think they knew I wasn't in college, but... Oh, you think? You think? I like that there's a little... You're not quite sure. I was showing on my bubble tape. I think they knew I was 12. So some job stoppers. And there was a moment where I was walking around Show World as a 12-year-old. And this woman approached me and she said, you want to watch me take a shower? And I said no. Paul! Paul, this movie... This is great! Paul, this movie is your life. Did you sign away life rights? Is that why you're mad? You didn't make a cut? Yeah. I feel like I could have gotten some better moments in there. And I remember that moment because I was like, I don't want to watch you take a shower. So I'm going to wait outside Show World. And I hung outside Show World and talked to the bouncer for a long time. Well, my two other friends were doing whatever they were doing. Watching someone take a shower. But before we got to Show World, this guy was like, you want to meet a... This is crazy. Do you want to meet a sex worker? And we'd be like, yeah. And he started to lead us down an alley. And at that point, I was like... This movie... This is your life. This movie... By the way, I just want to go on record. We are two hours into the show. I've never heard of any of this. And only now are you inadvertently admitting and realizing this is your life story on film. I did not put it all together. And as we were... Oh! And as we were walking down that alley, I said, this is bad. Let's go. And then the guy said, where are you guys going? Where are you guys going? We're going to get out of here. And then we went to Show World. Yeah. The only difference is he didn't have a gun like this guy did. He might have. We didn't go down far enough down the alley. Paul's grandma threatens a butcher will grind him into meat from episode 232, Adventures of Pinocchio. My grandmother used to tell me this story when I was a kid. That I needed to lock the door to my house. Because when she lived in Garden City, this is where my grandmother lived in New York, she was like, when I lived in Garden City, there was a little boy and he didn't lock his door. And one day, he was in his bed. I already know this is deeply irresponsible of her, of her to have said. And he heard footsteps coming up the stairs slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly. And then he got really nervous and he got under his bed. And he was under the sheets. And the door opened, creak it out. And then the boy looked and it was the local butcher. And he got scared. And then all of a sudden, the butcher grabbed him. And the mom came home. The boy wasn't there. She brought home her chop meat. No, Paul, stop. Stop it right now. What are you talking about? Paul? Your grand-boy? And what? And the mother? Are you talking about? And then as the mother was making hamburgers for her son, she started making hamburgers. But the hamburger meat started saying, mama? No! Mama? Wait. Paul, no. The meat knew? Because the meat was the boy? The meat, but that again, no. Once it's turned into meat, the kid wouldn't know. At that point, it's just meat, you know? Oh, whoa. That's unreal. I am shaking on my inside. Paul tries to French kiss his mom. From episode 217, Jaws 3D. I almost, I tried to French my mom after watching Love Boat. I've heard this story before. What is happening right now? Is this for the podcast? Are we putting this out into the world? As a little kid, I can't. You try to make out your words with your mom. No, I said French. French, sorry, sorry. I get it, though. I mean, I do watch it. I don't understand it. I get it, because I did the same to many other. Oh, young. I was like, oh my god. 12. I was like, I'm a little kid. I was like watching the Love Boat all the time, and they were always like open mouth kissing. So I just thought, oh, that. I didn't understand. But you kiss. That must be the next level of kissing. I can get that. And was she receptive? No. Did she consent enthusiastically? Guys. Oh, god. Oh, boy. I feel good to get it out of my chest. I feel good. Oh, my god. Oh, man. These are all bangers. This is just book promotion. I don't understand. By the way. This category is book promotion. Only one of these stories. And that was the thing that I heard from most people on my book tour. I thought that you would have more stories from the show in your book. And I honestly think only one or two stories that are in the book have been on the show. So and when people ask me why, I said, I just forgot. I wasn't thinking of. I wasn't trying to like check off boxes here. Anyway, I'm going to give this award to somebody else. Somebody who deserves it. I'm going to. Yeah. I will not take this one. I'm going to open this up, this envelope and see the Howdy for Best Paul Childhood story goes to. Oh, Paul tries to French kisses mom from Jaws 3D. Interesting. I got to tell you. I've been trying to get rid of the story. I've been trying to push this one out. This is a tough one. And I put a picture of this. It's been referenced multiple times as well. I put a picture up on my website of me kissing my mom on the lips just to to satiate the pervos out there. Wait, wait, what are you? Wait a minute. What? You gave them, you gave them material to back it up. Scott, can you pull up my website, paulshere.com and just go to the book section? I'll show you. I'll show you because I was done with it. Just go to the other and scroll down here. There it is. Right there. Oh, my God. That's so funny. Oh, that's so funny. Now, it looks like my mom is. Yes. This looks very passionate. Oh, so yeah. I've been trying to live down this story. But here's what I'm going to say. I love that the website is paulshere.com. Slash pervert. Yeah, yeah. That's how you get to this. Because I know that all you pervs out there. Here's what I want to say. I am giving this award to everyone who has approached me in silence and whispered in my ear, I did the same thing. I did the same thing. So to them, I see you. Are they saying that they also tried to French kiss their mom? Or are people just coming up and whispering in your ear, I did the same thing? I did the same thing. Well, it's more of a second. What are you talking about? It's more of a second, but I assume it's in reference to that. I haven't really clarified. But yeah, I just want to give it to all the people out there who see me and also have had the courage to admit they have French kissed their mom. Jesus. Don't go anywhere, folks, because it's almost time for the biggest and final Howdy of the Night. Best guest. Ooh, baby, who could it be? Stay tuned. All right. Now for our final and most prestigious category of the night. Best guest appearance. And the nominees are Nicole Byer and Adam Scott from episode 196, The Meg. But he gets there not understanding anything. And has to be introduced to everything that's happening there. But he's got very cool sneakers. Oh, yeah. Also, I loved that all of the secondary characters were stereotypes. Like the black guy couldn't swim. I know. That was wild. That was crazy. It blew my mind. They acknowledged how racist it was and then just kept doing it. Yes. Yeah, because I think you're going to lie to the vote because I'm black, but then later it was like, I can't swim. Ooh, a massa pulled me out. It was so wild. It's crazy. It was crazy. Except in this case, the massa is a tiny Asian girl. She's like, shut the fuck up. Jessica Sinclair from episode 204, Holiday in Handcuffs. Yeah, because he's fucking hairless in bills and shit. By the way, that is a rule in the show. Is that your type? Yes, I think it is. Why are you going to high school? Hairless and jacked. Hairless. There's that a hair in his body, and I don't think he's waxing. I think he's waxing. It's me, Jessica. Have you lost your mind? That is unappealing. You want like a kindol physique? Good. I don't want to know this. My first sexual urge was for punch. OK, from chips. And Mario is delivering me punch, like prime punch. Please stop saying punch. Prime punch. Prime punch. I do feel like his shirtless scene though was a real B-take moment. That's probably a T-shirt. That's not a punch. Prime punch. Prime punch. Oh. Prime punch doesn't sound like what you wanted to do. Dripping letters. Yeah. Prime punch. Yeah. Mario Lopez is a beautiful man. Very handsome. No way around it. Undeniable. No. Did you? And you know, if there's nothing worse, I would argue that a little hair. That's not going up to a man that has stubble. A little hairy. Yeah, exactly. I don't want to feel like you've groomed more than I have before a date. But that's why I'm so fascinated that you like a hairless man. Because as I said, I want no hair or all the hair in the world. Wow. Jessica. Charlize Theron and Seth Rogan from episode 212, Hello, Mary Lou, prom night 2. The scene in the bathroom. Yeah. I wanted to give her my Academy Award. It was amazing. Yeah. Do it. Do it. Do it. I'm actually not being funny. I very fairly looked at it and said, this is really good work. It was good. This is really. And not, I'm actually, like, it is a good fucking moment. It was a beautiful, it was a one. It was a beautiful shot that slowly crept in. Oh, yeah. And they're like, and then when that lady dies, it was crazy because they almost cut her head off with this fucking thing. This is the craziest. And then they don't. And they have. Not only that, it looks like they're going to chop her head off with a paper cutter. Yeah. They don't. The cloak goes up and hangs her. And then throws her out the window. What? What are you talking about? It's like. You just succeeded in strangling her with a cloak. Why throw her out the window? No, the best part then is the next cut is them talking about how she killed herself. She killed herself. How? She hung herself. Then threw herself. Out of the window. Ike Barron Holtz from episode 205 Cellular. So he's an LA police officer. It's one line. It's one line. When I moved here from England when I was 18, I didn't like it. Now I love it because I'm a cop. Instead, it's like, sorry I'm late. I was on the 405. I got off at Centenilla. And there was a pun. I grew up in Jetswith. Was he trying to hide it? He was trying to. No, he can't. There was a line that I really liked. And I don't remember the full line. But Jason Statham gives Kim Basinger a couple choices. And A was shut up. A, shut up. Keep your mouth shut. Just like Fernando Valenzuela after he left the dodgers and gave a shitty interview to Bill Plashby in LA Times, which I fucking subscribe to. Which I read every week just for Jonathan Gold's reviews. He's a San Gabriel Valley, Johnny's Restaurant. He's original treasure, isn't he? Tim Somm is my favorite thing. There was a thing. I'm going for a hike in Griffith Park. I am. I'm never going to Chengdu Palace afterwards. You're going to love it. They got fucking lobsters right in the tank. Did you guys wonder what was going to happen? I love Jason Statham and Joleno. Casey Wilson from episode 219, Drop Dead Fred. I liked that this movie is about this little girl not being able to experience loss and grief and all the traumas of childhood and what she feels about her mother. I thought her mom was nice. Me too. Me too. I'm dead. Finally. Finally. I know. I'm dead. I'm dead. What I would have given for that mother. What? Wait. What? That mom was nice. What are you talking about? Casey, you're my friend. Are you insane? The mom is a sociopath. What? What are you doing? The mother blames the daughter. She's evil. At the end. At the end. Who pleased the daughter? She's abused. You're the reason. You want to talk about abuse? Let's talk about mom. I'm getting pushed. Oh, my god. James Projector Acaster from episode 359, Dream, A Little Dream. Oh, sorry. The projector moved down. We'll fix that in one second. Oh, Tim just told me to sort the projector. Wow. Wow. Jim? He said James Projector. James Projector. I just said that I regret it for the first time. That's good. James Projector, you fucking out of your mind. I'm not sorting the projector. I'm the guest. None of this is my responsibility. James Projector. None of this is on me. I could shit my pants and walk off, and I've done a great job. Just so you know, when this episode gets released, you will be credited as James Projector. James Projector. Holy Christ. Tim, Tim's getting too big for his bridges. Tim. OK. Oh, god. To not even make a full sentence out of it. You put me in a bad mood for the trailer now, Tim. I might be unnecessarily harsh. Respect our guests, Tim. Respect our guests. Tim is in a full body sweat. That was funny. I do just kind of. I'm the projector backing your goddamn eyes. And you can watch the trailer that way, Tim. How's that fun? Everyone can stand behind you and watch your projector on the back of your fucking head. James Projector, you fucking high. Fucking the whole week in this goddamn city. Everyone talking to me like a piece of shit. I don't need a perfume as well. Wow. Incredible list. This is such a difficult category. I feel like of all of them, this is the one where I'm like, it could go anyway. Yeah. It could go anywhere. It could go anywhere. It could go anywhere. It could go anywhere. It could go anywhere. It could go anywhere. Yeah. These are all banger guests on banger episodes. This is these are I mean, I mean, many of these, I remember the Ike episode is famous for the Jason Statham and Joleno bit. Now, I do want to say I want to give a shout out to our my friend, Sean, at Trek Bikes, because I was recently purchasing a bike at Trek and Sean. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's happening right now? Well, my friend Sean. Are we doing an in-howdy episode ad for Trek bikes? By the way. I think what I'm realizing is like, I knew we must have had some giant sponsor making these howdies or like underwriting them because they're so big. Are they made out of gold? They are made out of solid gold. Okay. And so they're heavy. And is Trek manufacturing them because that makes sense as to why there are bicycle chains as part of the decorative feature. Yeah. And then obviously, you know, the best audience award that's more of a mountain biking award. And we have that. But it was so funny because I was at the Trek bike store chatting with this gentleman, Sean. And he said to me goes, I quote Jason Statham, Angelino, at least once a week. Wow. And I was like this. I said that you've made my day. I just love that. That is like a bit like that. I love a deep dive. That's also a bit. That's a funny bit that anyone can do. Yes. Because all you need to do is a barely passable Statham and then just LA specifics. It's really, really great. I love it so much. I do want to say that I love all of our guests. They are absolutely fantastic. And whoever wins this award, you're all winners. They're all winners. I love that this, our final award, finally, there is some international input. We have James A. Caster here. So we have a nominee from outside of the United States, which I think is fantastic. Jason, Charlize is not. Oh, Charlize as well. Yeah. I forgive me. You're absolutely right. Adam Scott, resident of Norway, I believe. He's not talking about that. Yeah, no. I mean, he will be when he runs for prime minister. All right, everybody, let's see the Howdy for Best guest appearance goes to Jessica Sankler. Jess, obviously, if there was a fourth member of the show, it would be Jess. She's been on the show more times than not. And you know what? I think that tonight would only be fair to give Jess the microphone. I mean, hang on. Yeah. If she's going to come on, then I'm just going to tell everybody in the audience to turn your volume down. How did this get made? It's Jessica. Thank you so much for this award. It means so much to me. I have to tell you, me being on stage with you guys, cheering in the audience, and dressing up like maniacs, and screaming at Jason is one of the highlights of my life. There is no better fan than a How Did This Get Made fan. And listen, have I had to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars in therapy to erase some of the memories that I've made while watching these horrific films? Yes. But every dollar has been worth it, because I've got to spend it with you guys. And I can't wait to watch some more trash can fires and women who want to fuck their own dogs. And who knows? It's exciting. But thank you so much. I love you. All right. Jess, the best, the absolute best. She deserves it. Again, it could have gone any way, but I'm happy. I will say she's done so much incredible work on the front lines of this show. That being said, it can't be understated that Casey Wilson had physical injury done to her vocal cords after the Drop Dead Fred episode. And I think that should be acknowledged, because she really put her health, her well-being, and her body on the line to fight for a absolute fraudulent point of view. OK, but hold on, Jason. Here's the thing. Casey was unavailable to make a video, so that's why. I've actually been quite scared that we're going to get a bill from Casey's vocal node surgeries. She can't prove it. Now, let me tell you this, everybody. What a show. By the way, I'll just take this Jessica one, just to get out of the way. This is ridiculous. I just want to say this is ridiculous. Then I'm going home empty-handed once again. It's fine. I don't know why I expected it to be different. I shame on me. Can I say something, though? There's a lot of actors we look at who have never won any Oscars and stuff. It's like, in some ways, they're even more intriguing to us. Interesting. You know, in some ways, we value their work a little bit more. So I'm like a Susan Lucci. I'm a Susan Lucci of this. Susan actually did win. She eventually won. Yeah. I would say you're more like a Tom Cruise. Oh, wow. OK. You're putting your life out there. Oh, I'm like, yes, I'm putting myself on the line. Every show, every show I do is a stunt. Yeah. It's a life in danger stunt. Yeah. But it's kind of cool. Just try to reframe it that way for yourself. And then I will take this June, sadly. I don't think you walked. Well, I guess I'll share an award with you tonight. And there's so many people to thank here. Our producers, Scott Sanni, Molly Reynolds, are on. Wait a second. So I did take a howdy before for my June savage. Just like, it looked like you took it back. Yeah. Because Paul, well, we're sharing it, right? I thought we agreed to share it. Yeah, but when did you come down here to my office in the middle of this recording and take it back? I'm holding on to it. Just because I don't want you to lose it. This is infuriating. God. Thank you. Yes, what? Yes. What? No, no. Go ahead. Please do the outro. Please do the outro. I'm so sorry that you both weren't able to walk away with any awards. Like I said, thank you from the bottom of Morgan's heart. Thank you from the bottom of Jess's heart. I'm going to take both of theirs. And we'll make sure that we get them to them before the next howdy. I'll see Jess tomorrow. I can give her that one. No. God. All right. Thank you to our producers. Scott Sonny Molli Reynolds, our audio engineer. Casey Hulford, our intern, Quinn Jennings, who helped us pull a lot of these clips and our social media manager, Zoe Appelbaum. We owe... How nice would it be to give one of them a howdy? Yeah, they all deserve a howdy. They all... You know what? Why don't I give them your howdy, June? I'm going to give June's howdy. That's a beautiful thing. You take June's howdy, you all share it amongst yourselves. I want to say... Wait, Paul, did you already have that chain made, the one that you've clipped into a howdy that you wear around your neck, man? Yeah. I had it made just in case. Just in case. Wow. Okay. They're so big, too. It's... Look, what a gift to give me these awards. I thank you both. You know. I do want to say, as we look back on these years that we have done this show, and it's been a long time, we do owe a lot of these classic moments that you've heard in this episode to Averill Halley, who will forever be a part of the show's DNA and her selections of these films that got us to these places. We are always keeping her in our thoughts and minds. Anyway... Oh, I think it's... It can't be overstated that I think without Averill's help, we would not still be doing a third annual howdy 15 years in. I believe that many a time I tried to get Averill on board to help find some of these clips, and she politely and rightly said no. Incredible. Yeah. The best decision she's ever made. True. That's really her legacy. She was an essential part of the DNA of this show, like you said, Paul, and will be forever missed. Well, we love Averill, and we love all of you listeners for making this show worth doing for the last 15 years and counting. And you know what? Because of you all, we will not wait another nine years between howdies. That is a wrap on this year's howdies. But you know what? I'm sure we missed a few things, and we'll give you your chance to tell us what we missed next week on Last Look. As we also revisit another film that we haven't had a chance to hear your thoughts on, and that is My Secret Santa. So get your corrections and omissions in for both of these episodes next week, and bye for now. This concludes the third annual How Did This Get Made Howdy Awards. Remember, to see the photo of young Paul kissing his mom, just go to paulshear.com slash pervert. Again, that's paulshear.com slash pervert. Thanks for listening, you jerks. How Did This Get Made?