Amanda Peet Returns

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard and I'm joined by Lily Padman. Hi. Good morning to you. Good afternoon to you. We have a babe on today. Oh, God, I love her. Uber talented fox. Amanda Peet, actor, producer, playwright. Her credits include The Whole Nine Yards, A Lot Like Love, Something's Gotta Give, Dirty John. And she has a new film out that I genuinely loved. I hope it comes across in the interview because I really, really enjoyed it. It's called Fantasy Life, and it is out on Lincoln's birthday, March 27th. Oh, yeah, that's right. You forgot a really important credit, CEO 60 on the Sunset Strip, one of my favorite shows. Great. Erin Sorkin, written by Tommy Shalami directed. And guess what? She's in it with her best friend, Bird, Sarah Paulson. Yes. And then, of course, the new season of Your Friends and Neighbors, incredible show. She's incredible on that. And that is April 3rd. So it's a one-two fucking punch. That's one week you see the movie, and then the next week you start the show. You can get more Amanda. It's Amanda Peet month. Please enjoy Amanda Peet. This episode of Armchair Expert is presented by Apple TV, the new U.S. home of Formula One. Starting March 7th, you can watch complete all-access live coverage of every Grand Prix, including practice, qualifying, and sprints, all in one place. Watch every race live, only on Apple TV. He's an entrepreneur He's an entrepreneur He's an entrepreneur He's an entrepreneur How are you? Wait, U.I.P.? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take your time. How did it go? It was successful. Good. And trust me, with menopause, it's like... What kind of symptoms do we have? Did you watch our menopause expert? It was quite a banger. I did it, and I need to do that. It was a great episode. She kind of looks like you. I think maybe I told her that. Maybe I told her she looks like Courtney Cox. Oh, my goodness. It's all a very good, very good circle to be in the mush. And this will be a ding, ding, ding, because this will come up in the project that you just did and that you're here to promote, funny enough. We're going to get into doppelgangers, but we're going to earmark doppelgangers. I had to look up who you had dated today. I got curious of who, like, you had dated famously. Really? Yes. I didn't know. Who have I dated? Not me. But Ben Stiller, that's of note. How did you know about that? Because I looked on the Internet. But the Internet knows everything. When have I talked about that? I have no idea, but... It decides right now and right now. AI knows that. Was it, like, one date then? Short, right? 97-ish? Later. Okay. Right? Later. Way later. 97? I was... Yeah, no. I was... I was working at a restaurant. Wait, you think no one knows that? Isn't that funny? Yeah. Oh, okay. Would you prefer we keep it there? No. Oh, okay. I mean, I'm proud of it. Yeah. You picked me for a second. Yeah, that's great. Yes. Well, I don't know. I'll speak for myself. I'm at the age that, like, anyone that will own up to having dated me, I'm kind of, like, very proud. I can give you an example of one that I thought for sure she wanted no one to know. I don't want to be clear. We weren't, like, dating, dating. We just went on a couple dates. But Jessica Alba, a long time ago, 20-some years ago. And we ended up doing a movie together, I don't know, eight years ago. And we're in the makeup trailer. And I'm thinking, oh, yeah, I know she doesn't want anyone in here to know this. Why? Because that's where my self-esteem is, right? And then she yelled across from the other end. She was in hair and I was in makeup. She goes, remember when we used to make out? Good for her. Yes. And I was, like, so flattered she wasn't embarrassed. I love that. That she didn't make out. This makes me like her. Yeah. Same. Our kids go to school together. Yes. Now when I see her, I'm going to be like, you're a good one. What's that? Nicotine. Uh-huh. Have you ever been a nicotine consumer? Yes. Okay. Cigarette variety? Cigarette variety, 10 years, pack a day. Same. What brand? It's Parliaments and Marble Lights. That's a great brand for you. The little girl ones, right? Those are the cool girls. Yeah. What are the not cool girls? Oh, my God. Marble Lights. That's too basic. It's too basic. You know that. You know that. Okay. No, no. Except sometimes people like turn it on their head and the really, really, really cool girls then do a basic cigarette. Like the Olsons in some of the pictures. From Parliament. But in some of the pictures, look, I did a deep dive because I was done for Halloween. They have Marlboro. And I had to know because I had to go buy cigarettes for the first time in my entire life. Good woman. All I remember is being in my friend's house. It started in a jokey kind of way. At college, we were studying. It was a study group, and she smoked. Yeah. And I just kind of said as a joke. Like a bit. But not funny. Yeah, yeah. You know, can I try? And I started fake smoking, and it just slowly, if you keep trying, eventually you'll do more than. How old are your daughters? I'm just curious. 11 and about to be 13. Okay, so you're right there. Yeah, four weeks away from 13 and 11. We're 11 and 12, though, at the moment. I was going to earmark this, but I think you and I both got exactly what we deserved, it sounds like, from how you've been describing some of the moments with your daughters. Tell me what you mean in your case and what you mean. Yeah, I'm curious. Yeah, so at one point you're— And then we'll get back to Ben Stiller? Yeah, we'll circle back. Always circle back to Ben Stiller. I want to know who else. You know on the list. There was another co-star, very short-lived. It was a five-month deal, and that was around 99 from—I can't remember what movie. Yeah? I'm literally like, I can't wait. You don't remember? I have forgotten the person's name. It wasn't as identifiable as Ben Stiller, so I have forgotten. You're racking your brain. Five months? That's what it seemed like. I was a serial monogamous, so any of these little ones were really little. Wait, say that again. I was a serial monogamous. So five months sounds weird to me. You've not done a lot of. Me neither. It doesn't seem right. I do 45 days or multiple years. Jessica Alba. Yeah. Yeah, a few weeks. Remember making out with me? Is that not true? You've had some three-monthers. Oh, really? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like capped at like 90 days. Either I'm 90 days or I'm many years is my point. That makes sense. I don't have a bunch of one-year relationships. It's even worse than that. It's either like two minutes or fucking eternity. Really? Really? You're in couples therapy and you're 26? I mean, come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have some fun. Lighten up. But your daughter came in, your husband's in his crazy rack, he gets in because he has a bad back, you're nude, doing something, she comes in to borrow a sweater, and she says what to you guys? Do you guys ever miss being young and attractive? Wow. Wow. How old is she? She was 18, right? Oh, she was a full adult. She was 16, 17. Ouch. But you were quick to say you had some moments when you were a teen girl where your mother said you're not going to go out of the house and that. And some boxers with a belt and a tank top. This is really crazy. Yes. I think my dad's boxers are like fake boxers with this really tragic big belt with a huge, almost like it's like a Soviet army belt. And a German. It was very weird, the signage. I feel like you'd probably be canceled. Okay, a little problematic iconography. Kind of harken back to a bygone era in Germany. German tank top. I had no idea. As a Jew, I shouldn't have been wearing those. Yes, and she would be like, you're not wearing a bra. You can't go out like that, and we got into it. You said, I'd like to see you stop me, basically, your conversion of that. Yes, I believe I left that way. So you got yourself right. I guess that's the point I'm making. Oh, I see. Yeah. I would say what's even worse than that, though, is the obstinance, the pushback. She's very stubborn. And also, well, I think I had ADD, just undiagnosed. I watched you and Paulson chat in an interview. Best friends. Could we get anything out? There's another earmark for later. Yes, I was watching you two talk, and it's almost identical to my best friend Aaron and I talking. No one's finishing any of the sentences. Everyone's talking at once, but you're understanding everything that's being said. No one else can. And I was like, well, Paulson definitely is ADHD. And I think you're very there with her. Oh, yeah. Can you definitely not cut this part out? Because she's constantly fucking talking about my ADD. And sometimes I just want to be like, you know, my psychiatrist is still not sure about this. Because just anxiety and ADD, not to be all trinky dink here, but to give you an example, let's say my sister and I were in a car ride or a plane ride. my parents would have taken us to a bookstore or a library or whatever to get books out. And she would be just peacefully reading, completely immersed. And I would just be looking at her like, how come I'm not like that? And then I'd be like, what was that? Hyper aware. Hyper aware. And so then that takes you out. Is it anxiety or is it, which came first? We just had an ADHD expert on. Yes. ADHD is dysregulation. So anxiety is dysregulation. Like they're all overlapping and comorbidities and it's all a spectrum. Well now because everyone's talking about ADHD it's very top of mind. Do you feel I don't have it and I don't think anyone has it. She was very annoyed that I was starting to self-identify. I'm like guys enough enough of this but no it's real. I'm gonna get in trouble. It's real. Why are you gonna get in trouble? People get mad you know they're like it's real. I have it. I was diagnosed. It is. Of course it's real. But I do think there's a lot of people saying like i have it and i mean i kind of get it because when we had our expert on she was explaining and i was like i have turns out i have so is it a little bit like how i feel amanda anka's gonna kill me but like how i feel about people who talk about astrology yeah and they're like you're such a capricorn and i'm like it doesn't matter what and you guys But she loves astrology. And I do like astrology. Okay, you like it. Yes. But you really, truly think no. Hold on. If I could be the objective outsider. On the spectrum, 10 is you're making all of your life decisions based on the astrology chart. Zero is you and I. What are we talking about? Monica's a 6.57. I'm a 6.5. Like it was a new moon and she did all the things one's supposed to do for a new moon. You're a believer. You think? Yeah. Okay, it's like being a little bit pregnant. If you're doing all the things that are recommended because of the new moon, your actions are being influenced by this thing. I'm not like, oh, that person's a Pisces. We are not going to get along. Stay away. I don't do that. I don't make any judgments about people who I want to be around. Give me one example of what you did because the moon was in Who's-y-Who. It's too late for you guys. Sorry. But on the Lunar New Year, you blow salt into the room. I forget what you say. There was a script. But basically, like, you're cleansing out the last year. And then you blow cinnamon in. You're bringing in abundance. What else did I do? Oh, you're not allowed to cut anything. You wore red. You're supposed to wear red. You can't wash your hair. Yeah, you can't wash your hair. You can't cut anything, especially your hair, on that day. Was this the first year? Sorry that I don't understand. No, it's okay. Was this the first year you observed? Yeah. I'm kind of new. I'm a new convert. Yeah, I'm a new convert. She's been an enthusiast for eight years. She likes to read the horoscopes and stuff. Yeah, I think it's fun. And where do you read? Yeah, exactly. That's why I'm not extreme. I read CoStar. It's like an app. I get served this stuff on Instagram. It's like, oh, look. But then sometimes it's eerie. Wait, are you a Capricorn? For real? Yeah, January 11th. Oh, yeah. You would be skeptical. You're 11, right? January 11th, second. Yeah, we know what's up. What's Amanda? Is she a Virgo? Oh, my gosh. She's going to kill me. She's December. It is offensive to people when you forget their sign, if they believe in it. It feels like. 17th. What is that? December 17th. December 17th. That's her birthday. So I don't even know what that is. That sounds. Where is she? Let me see. I don't know. She's a voiceover artist. She's the daughter of Polanka. She's incredibly friendly and smart and inclusive. That was nice of you. Good job. Good friend. Now I'm going to ask her if she did the cinnamon and the salt. There's no way she didn't. I hope she did. What do you think is going to befall us? Because you didn't do it. Yes. I actually don't think anything bad is going to happen. I just think good things are going to happen to me because I did it. I think you guys are fine. Nice to knock on wood, too. I am pretty superstitious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also come from a kind of superstitious family. It does pair nicely with some of this astrology stuff. We're making it on you. Virgo. Double Virgo. Thank you. That piece is really important. And I'm just trying to tread lightly. The double Virgo is a very good part of it. You're a fucking nightmare. Thank you. Exactly. I'm horrible to be around. Don't you just feel like it's confirmation bias, though? Yeah, it is. It is, but it's fun. Don't you think it's fun? 6.5. 6.5. Okay. You know, when I listened back to our first interview, A, it was over Zoom. No, thank you. Yeah, that was sad that we had you. It was over Zoom. It was early 2021, and so it was very, very COVID-y. It was a unique interview in that we didn't really go through your background, which we always do, and I always enjoy so much. Yeah, it's our fun time. And so I'm actually excited to have you back. You have the queerest look on your face. I can't tell. You look at all the purpose that we didn't talk about your background? I can't tell what the energy is. Yes. I'm trying to figure out, like, what's. Well, I'm a tiny bit nervous. Really? Tell me more. Well, you know, because I'm nervous. I don't want to be boring. Well, they're already not boring. It's impossible for you to be boring. You're innately quirky and interesting. Okay. Yeah. All right. Your baseline is fucking very interesting. So even if you phoned it in, it'd probably be marginally better than most. Okay? Yeah. That's true. What you guys started is very special. And to be so curious-minded and make a career out of being curious and having the humility to ask people like Yuval Noah Hariri and have spectacular people like that here next to schmoes like me. We are so in need of that kind of humility and curiosity. That combination is very special and humor. And so your ability to present people like Yuval Noah Hariri to lay people who may not otherwise read those books or understand those concepts. It's very profound. Well, thank you. Culturally. Thank you. That's my opinion. That's very nice. We'll take it. Back to Ben Stiller. Back to Ben Stiller. You're from a very historic New York family. We didn't get to talk about that the first time. You have a pair of Sams, great-great-grandfathers, that were both very prominent New Yorkers. One was the president of Manhattan Borough. Manhattan Borough president. Sam Levy. Yes. Sam Roxy. Roxy Rothafel invented Radio City Musical, designed Radio City Musical. And built these movie palaces. Yes. The Roxy Theater, this blows my mind, 6,000-seat movie theater in Times Square. Wow. And he, like, funded Broadway plays. He was like an impresario, I guess. And that's what we would call a play producer. Yeah, he was an entertainer on the business side. And from Prussia. Yay. Is that right? Left Prussia. But he knows more about my family history. But just so rare you read about someone who actually, like I read a few Bautzyevsky books and they're set in Prussia. And I'm like, what the fuck is Prussia? But your great-great-grandfather actually lived in Prussia and came here and did all this in New York. Yeah. I really want to do Henry's case. Yes, I was going to ask if you had done it. Finding your roots. I don't know if it's that thing where you're not supposed to ask, you're just a wait to be asked. Because I think there might have been some strife between my mother's father and his father, who was on the board of yeshiva. And I can't remember if he was on his side, Manhattan Borough President. I think it was. And it's a little hard to get information. Growing up, were your parents, your dad's Quaker, your mom's Jewish. My dad's not Quaker. He's not. That's all erroneous. I went to Quaker school. Friendly seminary. Friends, like Manhattan Friends, like the Society of Friends is... Quakers. Quakers, yeah. Okay, but back to these great-great-grandparents. When you were brought up, did they tell you about them? Did they go like, hey, you should kind of have some pride in the city? Not really. A little bit Roxy because we would drive by, you know, I grew up in New York City, so we would either, when we went to theater, sometimes we would drive by Radio City Music Hall. But I didn't really understand if he was an architect. and then eventually at some point I saw the Rockettes and was told that he invented the Rockettes and probably slept with half of them. That was standard biz. Yeah, standard biz. That's why men built places. Yeah. It was. Yeah. And apparently he died broke. I don't know what the whole story is. We got to get you on finding your roots. Isn't it crazy all these stories of these people, they accomplish so much, but the risk taker part of them that would make them accumulate that they also are so destined to lose it all too. I find that fascinating. Well, it depends how much you think shit runs on luck, right? Yeah. Oh, uh-huh. Yeah. Like his luck ran out. So did your parents grow up in wealth? My mother did. And I guess it sort of depends what you define as wealth. But I would say, yes, my mother grew up on a farm in Bedford. And my dad, his family was more normal. But his mother was a renowned person in advertising. In 1957, she was Ad Woman of the Year. The reason I looked all of this up was because of Mad Men. Yeah. Because that was her milieu. And she was actually a full-time working mom who was way ahead of her time and a crazy trailblazer and ended up being the second-in-command at McCann Erickson in the late 50s. It feels impossible in the 50s for her to have accomplished that. Yeah. Cool. Your mom's still with us? No. She's not? But just three weeks ago. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Thank you. Wow. What terrible timing for that question. No, no, no. She was very sick for a long, long time. She had four brothers and sisters, big, huge family. They were German Jews, so they had a Christmas tree. There's something that went wrong between my grandfather and his father. And I don't know if I want to say it this strongly, but it's the word that's coming to my mind. He didn't renounce his Judaism, but he wasn't observant. Right, right, right. But they didn't change their name. They were the Levy's and they experienced, I mean, my parents got married at a club and she had to enter through a different door because she was Jewish. I think they go back years as staunch Democrats on my mom's side, liberals. So the social work isn't that weird. But she was a Russian government major at Smith in the 50s, like height of the Cold War, went to work at the CIA. Oh, wow. You can read Russian. So she was in the department. I'm acting it out. You're a nice face worker. The Cuban Missile Crisis. She was in that office. And I don't really know why she segued out of that. She was a badass, too. So your dad married his mom. Well, that holds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You may not be that wrong about that. This is something I talk about and think about a lot. You have a boy or boys? You have three kids. Yeah, if two girls and then a baby boy who's 11, he's not a baby. But my sister and her husband met essentially in cadaver class in medical school. And he, aside from David, I would say their marriage is the most 50-50 child care. Their marriage is 50-50 child care. Yeah. Like I had a friend over, they used to come every holiday, like the Christmas holidays. and Jeff, who's a professor of epidemiology and works at CHOP in pediatric infectious diseases, just like walked through our kitchen living area with a load of laundry. My girlfriend was like... For the listeners, there's a gas look on your face. Like just, what's happening? What am I unburdening? How did she find a husband like that? And I was kind of like, what else is there? Exactly. Oh, that's so interesting. Was David's mom a gangster? I think she's a gangster in a certain way. And, you know, she went to Cornell and that's how they met. So he was looking for a smart gal as well. Yes. But his career took precedence over hers. I think she would be okay with me saying that. Yeah, yeah. Was he the Fed chair at one point? He was the CEO of Goldman Sachs. Yes. And I think he worked at the Fed as well. And then he worked under Bush. He had quite a career. Yes. I mean, yes. Okay, you moved to London at seven for four years. Yep. Why did you guys go to London? whose career took you there? Your dad? Yes. He was a corporate lawyer, and they just said, we're opening the office here. Who would like to go? So we went there, and that was a very special part of my upbringing. And to my parents' credit, they sent us to an English school. They wouldn't let us go to the American school. They wanted us to have a real experience. Did you guys develop English accents? Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially me, as you can probably imagine. Of course. You couldn't wait. Oh, my God. You didn't develop it. You didn't put it on. It was so tragic when I would get caught going back into my American accent when I moved home. You know, my first day back at Friends Seminary, I was like, hey, how are you? Oh, my God, thank you for this warm welcome. Oh, my Lord, this is so lovely. And were you exotic to those British kids? This would have been my dream at that age, is to go somewhere I went and thought it was super interesting and I could do a character. Well, it wasn't interesting in a good way, really. Oh, it wasn't. No, I think there was some of the, maybe it was just me, but like Americans are dumb and they talk like this and it's so weird. Uh-huh. Yeah, it wasn't a cool thing. And it was very strict and I had come from this hippie Quaker school in New York City and then you have to say prayer before you eat. It was very strict. Not Dickensian, but it was still the old days there. There were maggots in the salad. What? No, not protein. Free protein. Wait, kind of gnarly. Oh, wow. Were there teachers hitting the desk with sticks and stuff? Did we go that far? It was something steeped in tradition. That's my euphemism. Like Hilda. Yeah. You know, uniforms and ridiculous strictness. So you hated it? I kind of hated it, but I'm very grateful now. Now you're grateful. And my cousins were there. We were very close with my mom's brother's kids, and they were already living there because the dad was doing work there. So there was this little community of American expats, and it was a very special time. Outside of school, you were in London, I presume? Yeah. And did you love it? Could you run freely, and was it a safe, fun place to grow up? I was just an anxious little child who was, like, living in a different city. I don't even know if I had a perspective on it as a place beyond my own. My kids, I feel like, I didn't realize this with Frankie, my first child, but now that I've had three children, I realize that around seven, eight, I start getting, what happens when you die? That's when the existential, that's when you can tell whether you have a kid where you're going to be like, oh, God, another one on SSRIs. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's interesting. I remember walking by Molly's bedroom. I think I might have been pregnant with Henry, or maybe it was a little later. And she just went, Mom? And I was like in a harried. And she just said, isn't it just so weird that we're here? And I was like, yes, it's true. I'll get back on that later. But it's smart. But so when I moved, it correlated with that time of like an upswing and anxiety. and so I do remember that. I was a very anxious kid, very heavy. I think we could say at that age, you have metacognition. You can think of your own thoughts. Your identity is forming. You're starting to really explore your thinking in some weird way. And fear, you start being aware of the dangers. Yeah, maybe because there was some independence around that time. So you're like figuring out. Yeah, and also just brain development. You're able to take in more. I remember we shot Game of Thrones in Belfast, which in the very beginning when we first got to Belfast really reminded me of London circa 1979. Oh, wow. Like the food. Baggins. Yeah. We sent the kids to school there and to daycare there. But, yeah, I remember a few years later Frankie saying, Mommy, I just miss Belfast. It's the only place I feel safe. And I remember being like, wow, if my parents could hear this. Because, you know, when we were in London was at the height of the Troubles. Troubles being like IRA bombing things and stuff? Yeah, the Troubles in Northern Ireland. And I remember there being a backpack left on the sidewalk on the corner. I just remember my mom being like, girls, run! And we're like, what? Well, no wonder you were anxious. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that sounds maybe appropriate. We did have the king's or the queen's troops or horse. They used to come by where we lived. Procession? Yeah, there was some kind of procession where they were practicing, and they would come once a week on Saturday or Sunday mornings. And I know my mom every time was just like, you know, because of the IRA. I thought there would be an attack. So this is some inherited anxiety. How was this experience on the marriage? My parents' marriage? Uh-huh. She went to England for his career, and whether she liked it or not there, I don't know. But if she didn't like it there, I just wonder. You know, he was a corporate lawyer. She was really interested in being a social worker. She became really interested in psychoanalysis, the 70s, 80s New York version, and was really interested in what is really going on beneath the surface. And my dad was not at all that way. Very smart, but just much more of a literal thinker, which is sort of what I was talking about with my kids. Who knows? You might have a kid like that between me and David. I guess I thought it was possible, but it didn't happen. But like someone who's just more... Marching through everything. Yeah, and able to take things in stride and be maybe a little more literal. Just not as prone to hold the situation so complexly all the time. And so my parents, I think, were not well-suited in that way. And it didn't end up exploding. At what age were you? 17, senior year of high school. Okay, so they made it for a while back in New York. Yes. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. Thank you to our presenting sponsor, Apple TV, the new U.S. home of Formula One. You can now watch complete all-access live coverage of every Grand Prix, including practice, qualifying, and sprints all in one place. I will be consuming all of those things, Monica. I know you will. I kill for Friday to start watching Practice One, following in on a sprint weekend. Oh, my gosh, two races. And this season brings a ton of new energy to the sport. New teams like Cadillac and Audi just joining the grid. New drivers stepping into major seats. Lando Norris defending his first World Drivers Championship. And all eyes on Lewis Hamilton in his second season with Ferrari and a brand new circuit in Madrid. Plus a new U.S. home for Formula One. 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We are supported by Intuit TurboTax. April 15th is coming up fast, and if you're like most people, you're probably dreading the whole tax thing. You know the old way, sitting in some waiting room for hours or sending over your tax docs and waiting and waiting for any kind of update. You want something modern and tech-forward, but you also want that human connection. And this year brings a major upgrade. Intuit TurboTax now has in-person locations nationwide. you can walk into a tech-enabled TurboTax location near you and meet face-to-face with a real tax expert. Drop off your documents in the store and see them uploaded to your TurboTax app instantly. Just like that, you're done. Your new TurboTax expert stays back and works tirelessly to get you every dollar you deserve while you get real-time notifications as you go about your day. Honestly, it feels like someone finally figured out what we've all been wanting. It's not some sterile tax office from 1987, and it's not just an app where you're on your own. It's both. The human expertise with smart modern tech. You drop off your stuff, go about your day, and get real-time updates as your expert works through everything. That's the upgrade. Head to TurboTax.com to find a store location near you and get matched with a TurboTax expert with real-time updates in iOS app. Were you so delighted to come back to New York? Yes. That's just any 12-year-old who's like, ooh, new school and new school shopping, and I can do my accent and blah, blah. You can start over, kind of. Yes. Reinvent myself as a little English girl coming back into New York. But this school, Friends Seminary, is the oldest co-education school still in Manhattan. Is that true? It is. Wow. I read a lot about this school today. It's a very special place. Yes, it's very tiny, right? Yeah. And I'm thinking about the juxtaposition of living in New York City, which couldn't get bigger, and yet going to a school that was way smaller than mine living in rural Michigan. So there's this interesting juxtaposition between going to school and then maybe what New York was at large. Did it feel like a little sanctuary? Because how many classmates did you have? I feel like it was like 40 or 50. Okay. That's small. That's tiny. Yeah. Yeah, and no. School was, I have too many pimples and a mustache and who am I going to kiss and why am I dumb. You're super smart, but were you not doing well in school? I was pretty competitive, so I think that probably kept me from sinking all the way. Like, I definitely was distracted a lot. I was depressed a lot and distracted a lot both and had some fun. I began psychoanalysis. At what age? At age 13. My mom, whenever anyone had any problems, was like, get the 2A shrink. Right. Like, that was what happened. It was a matter of course. And my sister was like, fuck you. And I was like, okay. Yeah. And then I went to see three people to check out who I wanted to be with, and I picked this man. and within maybe two or three sessions, he said from his chair, you know, I think you're a very good candidate for psychoanalysis. And I was like, whoa, what's that? But I guess I won something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a good candidate. You just heard good candidate. Is that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Could have been anything. Totally, totally. That's so fascinating. So he sort of explained it to me, And then my mom and I became extremely close through this. She was in psychoanalytic training to be a psychoanalyst and was an analyst on a patient at the same time that I was. We were a fucking nightmare. And my poor sister was just like, oh, my God. Well, now 40 years later, would you say all this was additive or was it not great? Yeah. What's your take on this now? You think 13 is a good age to enter deep psychoanalysis? Absolutely not. But, you know, we didn't have the discussions that we're having today. So it's lousy that everyone has ADD and that we're over-medicalizing and over... Maybe I don't want to say that. We've had some pretty good experts on this day that there is major issues with it. The pathologizing of everything. That's what I wanted to say. Yeah. And said wrongly. And really quick, her data was, do you guys know, 30% of all seizures are not epilepsy. 30% of all heart conditions that bring you to the emergency room are not heart disease So we have a great capacity to affect ourselves with our thoughts without judgment of anyone but 30 of all people dealing with seizures for lack of a better term they in their mind right So yeah it is something to definitely be observed You don't want to discount the 70% that have a legitimate thing, but also there's a very significant amount of us who have pathologized a lot of stuff that we've got to be careful of. I think it's both. I think it was really patriarchal that he suggested my junior year, I don't think our analysis is finished, and I think you ought to consider going to college in the New York area so that we can continue our work. Do I sound like Woody Allen? Yeah, but I love it. He did have a really strong New York accent. Whoa, that's weird and controlling. So that's what I did. Really? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then when I tried to leave, because he was like a traditional Freudian analyst, so I'd say, I saw this movie, you know, A Room with a View, and I thought it was so beautiful, and it made me have a sexual fantasy bubble. I don't know. I'm making that up. I'd be like, did you see it? You know, the part where, and he'd be like, what's your thought about whether I saw it or not? It's kind of a mental maze, or can be at times. Is the analyst really neutral and really a blank slate? Can anyone be a blank slate? You have a Diet Coke here. So now I know you drink Diet Coke and you're on a diet. So you're not blank. And also you can have a transference even when you know something about the person. And then there's maybe a more global thought of like, do I want a 40-year-old man talking to my young daughter? I know. I feel really weird about that too. I don't know why. I felt really taken seriously. So talking about our similarity, about having like a little bit of an intellectual chip on my shoulder, a chip on my shoulder about my intellectual capacity status, especially once I became an actress or became very interested in acting, that was quite shameful. Like I'm... Vapid. From your parents? Or where is that coming from? Yeah. Okay. But then from the fact that first it was from your parents, like you're doing something that is silly. Frivelous. And also just stupid, statistically. Right, right. There's an implied vanity to it as well. Too much based on looks. This is not a meritocracy. What? How do we weigh this? Anyone who is doing anything because they look a certain way, they haven't earned that. Uh-huh. You were born that way. Yeah, there's some shame around that. Yeah, I got into a dust-up one time with Adam Grant, which he and I lived to get in dust-ups. This is all great. We like to dance, as he called it. You know Adam Grant? No, no. You know the name? He's an organizational psychologist at Wharton, but he writes a lot of op-ed pieces. And he wrote Languishing. That was really popular in the New York Times. He's like a known intellectual. But he was a little bit shitting on people who post their beauty or get likes and attention for their looks and their beauty. And I was like, so, Adam, you are gifted this great intelligence. And what you do with that is you put your work out there for approval and attention. But if you weren't gifted intelligence and you were gifted looks, that person is not allowed to exploit the gift they got. I don't know why one is better than the other. We're all trying to get approval and love and attention with whatever thing we got gifted. What are you thinking of? Today, I think that's right. I don't think I used to think that, but I do think that all of our assets are given for the most part. We can work on them, and I think I work hard for the things that I have. But I also know there's gifts there that I didn't pick. You have two hardworking parents. You genetically got genes from very driven, hardworking intellectual people. Yeah, I have genes. I can write stuff. I can comprehend stuff. Like, I lean into those. So I really shouldn't have blamed someone for leaning in to whatever they have. I think that's how I feel these days. How do you feel about this? You could be your daughters, though. I think they have the option to probably get attention in either way. And I would, of course, prefer they get attention for their brains. Why? Because I know that in order to get that attention, they're going to have to apply themselves to something rigorously for a while. And I think there's great esteem to be gotten from that. For happiness. Yeah, for internal validation. Yes, but for the person, that's not an option. I think there is a problem with kind of elitism and intellectualism that we're sitting over here going like, this is an okay way to get attention and be loved by the world. But the way you are able to do it, that's vapid and vain and self-obsessed. I don't buy that. I think we're all doing the same thing. And I don't think if you're writing things to get noticed and applauded, as I'm doing and we're all doing, that I'm ever in a position to tell someone in a bikini they're not allowed to get attention. I don't think I'm morally in a place to be judgmental of anyone seeking attention and approval. Do you feel that the same way? Well, it depends on if it works, I guess. If someone who posts a picture in their bikini, if posting that really does give them some sort of internal validation, it wouldn't for me. So I can't say that. But if it did, that has to be fine. And if they make a living from that, they're supporting themselves and they buy a home and raise a family. We're all trying to do the best we can with what we got. And I think it's really easy for us who went and got degrees and shit to think, well, I worked for it. But you had the capacity to work for it. You were gifted the capacity to work for it. Someone modeled that for you. I do think, though, the problem is most of the physical, like posting pictures and stuff, that is external validation for the most part. I don't know. Maybe someone can comment and say they get a ton of true self-esteem from doing that. But I don't think I've seen that be the case for anyone. I think that the person who went to the gym that morning, they ate the thing they wanted to eat, so they looked a certain way, and then they sprayed tan, and then they look in the mirror. I think they have the same feeling as I do when I do two and a half hours of research on you, and then I come in here, and I'm able to weave that all together, and I leave. I think the feeling we both have is we put a lot of effort into this, and we achieved our goal in this. and I think it's not right for me to discount the things they do. But it requires somebody else telling them it looks good. But I'm owning the fact that, no, I want the product of this to be great and I want people to listen to it and love it. I want to be seen and I want to be appreciated for the thing I've invested in. They're doing the same thing. It's not what I would do, but I don't feel right about saying it's a lesser or that I'm above it or that I'm judgmental of it. I understand what you're saying, but I also understand what you're saying. And I've sort of had that very argument with my daughter who thinks I'm unfeminist because I'm like, must you post that? This makes me feel good. For how long does it make her feel? It doesn't matter. And I'm saying, can you do it without posting it? Can you get the feeling? The thing about how the male gaze, it's his problem. if he sees this bikini picture of me and can't take me seriously because I'm in a bikini, can't take me seriously for my whole self because I'm in a bikini, that's his problem. I'm going to get into trouble. I don't think I should get into this area. I think this is so interesting. Yeah, this is incredibly fascinating because I think all three of us have different feelings about it. But also everyone's dealing with this. I was sort of like by posting, you are automatically in a conversation. You're automatically inviting someone to look. So you're inviting a gaze just by the fact that you posted. But then you want to pretend that it exists outside of any cultural context whatsoever. That's not in a vacuum. That it exists in a vacuum and that you are operating purely in a vacuum. And the cultural context is over there, but that's not what you meant. Yeah, but I will challenge you, and I have it myself. We also didn't grow up where this was standard, that the Internet was standard, that Instagram was standard. And so you and I, I used a whole can of Aquanet every time I leave the house so that I could be the most appealing I could be to any girl. Is that true? Oh, yeah, yeah. Super firm hold. But I put a ton of effort into leaving my house to go look and get validated by the opposite sex. and I think you did too, and I think we all did. I think this division between you leaving the house and wanting to be appreciated by the opposite sex when you went anywhere, I just think Instagram is anywhere. That's their anywhere. So I think we did the same thing. I don't think there's a difference. But it feels incredibly different for us. But I think it's just life, and we were always trying to be as attractive as we could to everyone else, so I don't know why they would not as well. It's back to degrees. It exists on a continuum, just like we just said about ADD and everything else. Like, I think a lot about, I can't remember where she said it, but Zadie Smith was saying how her daughter, this was a few years ago, spends such and such exponentially more time in the mirror before school than her son. And she was like, if you add that time up over the course of many years, he's going to have an advantage. And do you want that? That's interesting. But he's also going to spend a lot of time jumping over fires to impress his friend And then dealing with injuries. And he's going to do other shit that's a waste of time in the way that males try to get validation from each other. It's complicated. I think we have to fight the urge to catastrophize all the stuff that's kind of happening. Now, the area that I think I'm more in keeping with you is like the conversation I know I'm going to have with them as they go to college about drinking, which is 100%. It's on the male to not rape the girl. Shouldn't be on the girl to worry about getting raped. But I am going to say, here's the data from girls who get raped when they're blacked out drunk. Now, yes, it shouldn't ever be a concern of yours. And we live in a certain reality where your odds of that happening are going to go up 4X. Obviously, you should be entitled to get blackout drunk just as boys are entitled to get blackout drunk. But also, here's the facts. So do with them what you will. Yeah. I feel like that's an area where I agree with you. It's like, well, we can't also deny what the statistics of our world tell us. I agree. I think that's a hard thing to talk about because, yeah, it sounds like we're saying, oh, the, like, what were you wearing thing. And it's really not that. It's not what should be. Like, yes, we should be fixing boys. You should be able to pass out in the street in a miniskirt and have nothing happen to you. Exactly. I agree. That's what should happen. Someone take you to the hospital. So that is Frankie's argument. Yeah. That's her Instagram argument. Yeah. But should and reality are not always, in fact, almost never the same. And it's figuring out where you want to be in that if you want the risk. I mean, I'm actually a little more like when she says she feels good, what part feels good? Is it the comments? My relationship with her at that time, now it's different. But at that time was basically I'd be like, how did that make you? Okay, good talk. I mean, it was a third rail. Yeah. Because that's the thing that I think fame teaches you, right? Which, I mean, she should listen to you for this. It feels good for a minute. And then it really doesn't feel good because you also are hearing all the horrible stuff. And then you're so self-conscious. The Internet is Hollywood. Yeah. You know? Yeah. It's dangerous. It really affects how you feel about yourself. It's deeply impermanent. You know when you're getting these little spikes of being popular that it's on very shaky footing. And yet. And yet here we are. Yeah. Exactly. I know. I rotate you and it's your turn. It is. Okay. Ben Stiller. No way. I guess I just want to finish with this school. First of all, you have some fun other alumni from this tiny little school, Leah Shriver, Lena Dunham. Oh, Lena didn't go to Friends. Okay, she's misaccredited. Maybe she went to Brooklyn Friends? Oh, okay. We'll look into it for the fact check. I love her, and I feel like we would have... You would have known that. Ponded over that? Yeah. Is there a Brooklyn version? Yeah, and they're all over. They're mostly in Philadelphia. Well, John Bernthal... Oh, I know what I wanted to ask. Yeah, John Bernthal went to a really cool Quaker school outside of D.C. Sidwell, yeah. Was there any of the practices there that you were like, I'm very lucky I got to experience that? Yeah, I didn't know that at the time. It was something I look back on with intense gratitude. And David and I got married in the meeting house. We had like a Jewish wedding in the meeting house after his mother-in-law almost had a heart attack. But luckily, David's rabbi was like, calm down, Barbara. It'll be okay. Again, they're doing the parent thing that you were doing. Yeah. So I think that the meeting for silence is obviously like a form of meditation. Will you explain that to us? I don't think everyone would know. The idea is that there is no priesthood. There's no hierarchy in Quakerism whatsoever. So there's no priesthood. Nobody is closer to God than anyone else. And everyone is welcome. You can be from any religion. You can be anyone and you can walk in. They call it a popcorn meeting. When you're moved to speak, you can stand up and say anything. And that silence, particularly on Fridays, was a 20-minute silence. And on the off chance that I wasn't doing my AP Euro homework, it's really a way to just stop for a second and have community. I think there's a strict policy about consensus versus voting. Oh, tell us the difference. So I guess the idea is you got to figure out how to agree. I like that, especially right now. Everything needs to be taken in. Everyone needs to learn how to hold the situation complexly and move forward holding the situation complexly. All welcome would be a good also theme for us. Yeah. And then just crazy shit. Like we used to play soccer. I played soccer. We used to go to this janky field near Con Ed over by the river. We didn't have like a fancy place. And in the common room, which was one of the only communal spaces besides the meeting house, every night filled with homeless people. Wow. So whenever I came in for basketball practice during basketball season at 630 in the morning when we would come early because probably the boys had to do the afternoon, you're walking through a room filled with homeless men. It would never happen now. Yeah. Because parents, psycho parents would be like, my daughter is not going to walk through. It's dangerous. This is a little bit what everyone talks about, like Jonathan Haidt. Free range parenting. They can handle it. Even in little basketball shorts. We're resilient little creatures. Okay. You majored in American history at Columbia. Yeah, but it was kind of by default. It was like a concentration. Why that major? It was literally more counting. What was the easiest way I could just graduate? So no lawyer aspirations, because that's a huge undergrad. No, I think by junior year, I auditioned for this acting teacher called Uta Hagen. And once I got into her class, I think I felt slightly better about the frivolity of it, because I was with Uta Hagen. Yeah, very serious. So it was almost as good as going to conservatory. Definitely. Yeah, you found the Harvard of teachers. Yeah. If you're making a case to your parents, this isn't frivolous and bad, but look, I'm with this legend. Yes. Yes, but that was followed by me doing a lot of commercials. You did a Skittle spot, which is great. That's a great hit. Yeah, those run for the candy. I was always told when I was auditioning for commercials, candy. I did a billion commercials. Is that true? Oh, yeah. I had a whole run of commercials. She might be the most successful commercial actor I ever met. She would often have four or five nationals running at the same time. Your parents let you do it when you were little? No, not when I was little. This is when I was out here. Were they like, you're going to do what? Yeah, they were. Did you do it in college? I did. I was in theater in high school, and I was like, okay, so here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go to college, and I'm going to major in theater. And they were like, no, you're not doing that. And I was like, I am. And they hadn't said no to anyone. I mean, they're kind of like, do whatever. I was a cheerleader. I was doing all these things. They were like, whoa, who's she? Or who does she think she is? Post her friends in a room. Yeah, exactly. She took to America like a fish to water. And Matt Damon, you share the Matt Damon love. But theirs wasn't about it being vapid or frivolous. Theirs was about safety. How are you going to live? Well, that too. And they were so happy about the commercials. Char is a woman. My parents weren't excited about that. It seemed lowbrow. It was never said. There's a way to say things, though, isn't there, without saying that? I don't entirely fault them. Yeah. Interesting. They never watched Jack and Jill. They wouldn't watch. It didn't feel to me like it was a stance. It was just, I'm telling you, a genuine lack of fucking interest. That's nuts. Can you blame them? Yes, I can. Do you know how many terrible fucking plays I go to? My daughters in every play, they're nearly unwatchable. But she's not even 13. I'm delighted to be there. And if she were on Jack and Jill, I would fucking add it to my DVR. Yeah. And I would, each episode, I'd have a list of things I thought she had done well. You'd be so excited to watch her on Jack and Jill. Fucking A. I would make a big deal of it. You deserve that. I'm excited to see a little commercial pop-up. How long can you just see it again and really honestly say that you would feel that way? I'm not saying it's bad. It's just if you don't like a romantic comedy. And then your daughter's on it, you watch it. They don't have to like the show. Yeah, no one's asking them to like the show. They don't have to, but it would be nice if they were excited to see their daughter on. To do the thing she set out to do. Exactly, that's right. Oh, Amanda, I don't like this at all. I can't believe you're at peace with it. You shouldn't be at peace with that. Well, no, you shouldn't be at peace. We want her to be at peace. No, I want you to be struggling with this. All this psychoanalysis. The result is you're fine with your parents not watching a TV show you're on if you're dedicating your life to it. You need to have peace so you understand who they are and that wasn't going to happen. Yeah, and I think it's hard to watch something over time that is not for you. I know it's not a soap opera like in Days of Our Lives or something like that, But I think that would be hard for my dad to sit down and watch Days of Our Lives over and over and over again. I think your dad was very distracted by his very hard job. A corporate lawyer is a very taxing and hourly consumptive job. And I think you got a male therapist because you wanted your dad's attention. And I think this motherfucker should have watched your show every single episode. Paging Dr. Freud. I know. Also that it's Freudian is also very, very Freudian. That is Freudian. And then I graduated to other types of shrinks. But was Uda, tell me about Uda really quick. What a name is Uda Hagen, and she was from Germany. Was she a tough frow? That's when I started getting jealous of people who had headshots, and it became like, oh, you can actually do this. I did my school plays and stuff, but it was like a side gig. An elective. Yeah, an elective. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like soccer. So when did you tell your parents? Or maybe you didn't even tell them, you just started it. I got some bad news. Yeah. It was just like a slow delivery. Junior year, I did a play and took fewer classes. So then I went to summer school so I could keep up and graduate on time with my class. So once they knew that I was taking a light schedule junior year so I could do a play on 42nd Street at like some dinky theater. And, of course, anything that was theater, they were like, brilliant. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, but this is a little bit of the snobbery of New York. I'm triggered by it. Maybe it's my baggage, but what are you talking about? Fucking pretending is pretending. This whole hierarchy of what is culture, I think it's a little snooty. I like that. The world needs you right now. Okay. I'm here. 12 times a week. Right? Yeah, I mean, I fully agree with him. I think it's crazy to be like, theater is better than, no. I'll talk to people, they're on hit shows where the whole country likes it, and they're humiliated, they're on the show, and I'm like, that's saying that someone's opinion is more valuable than another person's opinion. It's just gross. That's not how you should be looking at it. I was on a right-wing sitcom. The people that love The Ranch, they're just as valid as the people that love Parenthood. They love it. That's it. There's no hierarchy. You have your tastes, but your tastes are better. They're just your taste. Oh, my God. My sister would love you so much. She's just very purist about that and very hardcore. Okay, I'll give you the example. She was just here. We were with my mom at the end, and in the morning we would get up together early, and she opened her laptop. She's a doctor. And she just went, and I was like, what's the matter? And she was like, they upgraded me to first class. the look on your face for the listener was that there was another 9-11 style attack but also like slightly funny more like as if someone sent her porn she opened it and it was like vile but also a little bit titling and a little bit naughty so there was like a kind of weird combination of bizarre emotions that it's really part of her stance she's just egalitarian She didn't take the fucking seat. She did not take the seat. No. I'm telling you. Yeah, okay, so I'm on the right side of the spectrum from her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so interesting. You guys come from the same people and the same everything. And one time they sent one of those. This is when I was the most famous that I was, which is maybe the early. Whole nine yards? More like maybe something's got to give, like around that time. Okay, okay. We watched it. Oh, Diane. Yeah. They sent one of those beep, beep, beep. you know where you go through the airport quickly because I was going to miss the flight. My sister literally was red, sweating. I was like, are you having a stroke? And it was just, she can't stand to cut a line, be given preferential treatment. Is her favorite place to vacation Sweden? She wants to move to Denmark. There you go. She'll be like there are just not enough people of color there. Oh, she sounds great. She's amazing. I have to say. Okay, something's got to give. I thought this was funny. You showed your children this movie. Boy, this is great. I love this story because this is what we go through pretty often at the house, which is there's all these movies we love. We watch them. I do have to acknowledge, even though she's 11, just watched it with my 12-year-old. She absolutely loved it. And I said, wow, I see it. There's no women in this movie. There's one woman, and she's in it for like four scenes. And all the movies we have shown in Beverly Hills Cop, There's not a woman in it. You know, it's that water you're swimming in thing. Well, have you done, you're not there yet, but 16 Candles. Haven't shown, but what? There's a rape. She's over his back. Yeah. With her underwear. And he's like, have fun. She's passed out. Yep, yep, yep. I think Revenge of the Nerds, too, there's some rape. I think they drug a girl. It really illuminates how much we didn't notice that you're showing your kids. You don't even remember those scenes. and then they come up upon you and you're like, oh, we have some stuff to talk about. Yeah, and that's only part. So it's weird because it's a cost-benefit thing because I'm still like there is something beautiful and charming about this movie, but now I have to fucking go into this whole thing about race and girls and women. Your age gap, the movie starts with you and Nicholson, and your daughter's like, fuck this, right? They were like, this is disgusting. Really? I was like, this is my best movie. Sorry, you're morally objective. Wow, and that's one with Diane Keaton as the star. I don't know who that is. That doesn't mean anything to them. They have Instagram parties, first of all, where you're only picked if you're on Instagram or something. It's, like, very exclusive. It's so un-Quakerly. You have to be, like, tapped. And then sometimes they have really horrible themes. It's like one of them was CEOs and office hoes. Wait, and then why aren't they mad? And they watch movies where that's the trope? No, they dress up. Oh, oh, oh, oh. The reason I thought of this, ADD, is because I was like, here are some pictures of Diane. Wear a suit, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm still wrestling with this one. I don't think I'm there yet. So my wife loves to point out the entire time we're watching anything from the 80s or 90s or early 2000s. Well, look at the age gap between the male star and the female star. And it's staggering. It always is. Every one of these things we love, there's a good 20-year gap between the breadwinner father and the wife. That's not intrinsically sexist or intrinsically predatorial. Younger women sometimes like older men. It's not an across-the-board situation. Of course. I think we've gone so far that we're pretending any time two people of a different age get together that there's something intrinsically predatorial about it. I'm not there yet. On top of that, I would say the movie itself is commenting on this. It is. That's the whole point. The whole point of the movie is that he realizes he would like to be with someone more challenging and with whom he can have more rich dialogue. So, yeah, on top of that, I think it just depends on the piece. I actually think it's weirdly somehow anti-feminist to just conclude every time you look at someone with an age gap that that person has no autonomy. Well, we're in a phase right now where people just are ready to pounce. Yes. And they don't want to take in contact nuance. I'm so over. I'm so annoyed. I mean, look at Paulson. Oh, yeah. I'm thinking of her. I'm like, we're not saying that about Paulson. And we didn't. She's a much older partner. Over my fucking dead body. Exactly. And then I love it in your movie, Fantasy Life. I enjoy the shit out of the fact that you have a younger Manny that you're having an emotional affair with, and you're being appreciated, and you feel desired. We made this before Baby Girl. I know it's not the same, but, yeah, I was really excited about the idea. I was like, why didn't I think of that? Like a mom who falls for the Manny? I know. It's such a great idea. Yeah. Stay tuned for more Armchair Experts, if you dare. His name, Matthew. Here. Tell me a little bit about him because he wrote and directed it. And first of all, I loved it. I haven't seen like kind of a small, contained, really intimate, lovely movie in a while. And I loved it. I'm not surprised you guys won the jury prize at South By. or that you won an acting award. You're great, and it's a great little movie. But where does he come from? He's a New Yorker. I just got the script called, and I read the scene in which he is with his psychiatrist. Everything we've talked about is perfectly in accord with all of it. As you can probably imagine, I was like, I mean, as a Jewish New Yorker, I was just like, has he been stalking me? This is so weird. I mean, he didn't, but it's weird. And I like the way it talks about mental illness because I like the idea that when we see mental illness in movies, it's always so acute, hardcore, people lining up for pills in Girl Interrupted. And I liked this idea that he was sort of like, these are high-functioning people who have mental illness, and they're getting on with it. You guys are both leads. But he's our lead. He has OCD. He has an interesting version of OCD, and luckily we had an OCD expert on. So as he was saying it, I was like, oh, yeah, this is OCD. He's Jewish, but he has super anti-Semitic thoughts when he sees other Jewish people. That is OCD. Whoa, that's also very strange. It's great. Hook notes, hook notes, hook notes. Yes, that's what he said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then his therapist is repeating it. That great actor, Judd Hirsch, but he's so frank about it. You get that sense like, oh, he's venerable. Or it's like intrusive thoughts, so that's what they are. But I'm always looking for a little sign that the movie's going to go for it. Movies play it safe so much, and then that scene comes early on, I'm like, awesome. They're going to go for it. He was laughing the other day we were at one of our screenings, and he was like, this is where we either lose half the audience, or I think we were at like a Jewish film festival in particular. He was saying like, this is where we either lose the Jews, or they're my kind of Jews. Tell us about your character. I play a mom in New York City who is a has-been actress, who is trying to get back into the game and is also having some depression and anxiety. And the mani, it turns out, is having some similar issues. So we have a connection. And your marriage isn't in the greatest spot. It appears you're both having a kind of midlife-y crisis. Yes, my husband played by the beautiful Alessandro Navola, who I also dated. Oh. Very handsome. Ridiculous. Yeah. Dangerous. Dangerous. Totally dangerous. A liability. Some people might say a liability. Yes. I ran right to my intellect. Another interesting thing, and I talked too long with you about other stuff, but I asked about your parents being wealthy because you're playing a woman who, yes, you're a struggling actor, but your father is crazy rich from an investment fund. And so you're loaded. You don't really have the problems. And, in fact, your privilege is one of the things you're kind of coming to terms with, and you feel like you're not entitled really to have any issues because you have it kind of made from the outside. Yeah. And weirdly, I think a lot of people might feel that way as much as they would be afraid to admit that because they're afraid you're asking for compassion when people would kill to have what you have, but people that have everything still are miserable. Yep. What's wealth to you? Like, it's fascinating to me because I grew up broke, and then I ran into you in Martha's Vineyard, and I was renting a very nice house. And I have such a complicated relationship with it. I was so judgmental. I hated all rich people. Just they were the fucking enemy. Like that was the man, right? And then I'm around a lot of people and I'm like, I'm with the people I said I hated and I like them. That's confusing. I also saw my moments of judgment. We were at the Four Seasons in Mexico and I'm looking around and I said to my wife, I'm like, just the facts are, this pool isn't nearly as fun as the Best Western. Like the people here, they got here and we're just supposed to get here and then we got here. We're like, well, what now? I'm still a little judgmental about that. But I'm just wondering, like, what's your experience? Because you're playing both in friends and neighbors. You're playing with the topic of wealth and maybe the dissatisfaction that comes with it. And then this movie also has that as the theme. It's so weird because what went through my head when you were talking is, first of all, yes, I feel like I have a very complicated relationship. and I grew up in a household where my father was a corporate lawyer. So really nice situation. And you probably went to school with people that had crazy money. It was a very diverse school. So I was, if anything, maybe just because of the group that I was in, the two girls with whom I was the most simpatico, both parents were artists. There were a lot of downtown types. Yeah, that seems like that would draw the Quaker. I was kind of like the uncool rich kid with the ski tan after February break. And it was just terribly uncool because my best friend was going to like an opening with Andy Warhol and Basquiat. Wow. And I was like at home eating Pepperidge Farm cookies, being like, my curfew is 11. The group that I was in, it was kind of uncool to be like me. Yeah, yeah. I think partly because it was just lacking in anything artistic, anything anti-establishment. Yeah. You know, my mom was a social worker. Like, she became more and more that way as we grew up. But there was just absolutely nothing punk about us. Yes. And about my parents. And you were self-conscious about that. Yes. Yeah, yeah. In front of my cohorts. I did The Undoing Project. Michael Lewis's book. You've had Michael Lewis. Yes, we have. The Undoing Project about Tversky and Kahneman. because I was scared of flying. I don't know that process. The Undoing Project is just about their relationship, but I didn't read Thinking Fast and Slow because it was above my pay grade, but I feel like the Michael Lewis book is easier. But I've been reading about Kahneman lately because he went to pass away in Switzerland, assisted living. It was really fascinating that he chose to die or kill himself. I didn't even know that was his end. Yes, with my mother's death and everything. I've just been thinking a lot about the end of life. And anyway, in learning about Kahneman, I'm really fascinated by this idea of happiness that he had, where he talks a lot about the remembrance. The experiential self or the narrative self. Yeah. It's the best concept I think I've ever heard in my life. I think about nonstop. That's what went through my head, because so many people talk about how wealth, once you get past whatever it is, what is it? That number changes. We always check in on it, and it does rise, I have to say. I think it plateaus at, like, 500 grand and then diminishes at, like, 3 million a year or something. It also, like, has to be city dependent, for sure. Makes your life better it does objectively until like 500 grand and then it plateaus for a very long time and then it just diminish when you have great wealth But you right that there virtue signaling If you don take the car you prefer to be in it's kind of the flip side of the same douchiness because you're still doing it in order to portray something to your daughter otherwise, which doesn't really make for happiness. And, of course, I am my story about myself. I don't have a Bentley. I don't have something that its value is that it's expensive. I have performance shit. That is crazy expensive. No question about it. But I have it because what it does, I don't have it for what it raises my status. I know what you're going to do. The Buckeye. The Buckeye. I knew that was coming. Well, we are full of contradictions, aren't we? Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's incumbent upon me to not judge the dude in the Bentley is what it is. Yes. But you do, because otherwise you wouldn't have said that. Well, for me. I do, too. Sorry, you keep going. No, you're the guest. So if someone drives up next to you in a big-ass Bentley, you have a pick. What are your feelings? This becomes my argument towards handbags, right, which is there's a reason a Ford GT costs what it costs, okay? It is a carbon fiber. The whole car is one piece. The engine is a one-off. You know the people who, the artisans who create an Hermes bag? No, you don't. I brought this up. If you add up the cost of the leather and you add up the cost of the thread, there becomes a point where what you are paying for is the label. I mean, I think we'd all agree on that. It is built on a scarcity model. I'm not against it. Whatever. Birkin bag, great. I just don't think you can make the argument that the materials are what cause it to be that price. You could argue that the artistry is what you're paying for. Fine. There are cars that they're slower. They stop worse. They're less comfortable. They brake more. And they're the most expensive. And to me, the single thing that they offer is that people know you have a very expensive car. And then there are cars that I'm super attracted to, which is like they're the fastest. They handle the best. So they're substantive, in my opinion, for me. But it's really interesting that you're valuing that over. I mean, this gets into a whole thing with my sister. This will be fun. About what is the value of aesthetics? What is the value of a beautiful bookshelf? Whatever else it is. You're totally right. It all circles back to the thing we were talking about, how it makes you feel. Yes, you're like, it's structured well, but it's how that makes you feel. Like, you know about the structure. It's something for your identity. I'm a person who knows about cars. I know that this is a good car to drive because of... This is a car of the guy's car. Exactly. This is a car of the guy's car. So it's all about what we want to believe about ourselves, how it makes us feel, and how we present. Yeah. But I do look at certain cars, and they're in lime green. And I'm like, this is just an attention seeker. That's why it costs so much. It's a way to get attention, which is great. I'd prefer to not get attention in my cars. I just love how fast they are. I'm not better than anyone. And you guys are making a really solid point. It's just fun that it came all the way back around. It is great. It's wonderful. If we just go back to the labor thing, this is sometimes something that just goes through my mind. I know I'm probably one of them from time to time, but I have noticed that a lot of actors will, for example, just to throw it out there, if a contractor is upcharging, they're like, that's fucking outrageous. It's because they know who I am and this and that and the other thing. And it's like, you make hundreds of thousands of dollars an episode for your fucking show, and a fucking pediatric oncologist makes what you make in one week, in a year, maybe. A pediatric oncologist. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who is being abused? This is very fair. But we did have an expert on, we have a bias, like our confirmation, but one of the biases we all kind of carry is this bias about being a fool, and that we're getting taken advantage of. I don't even know those people. they think they're triggered about the price, right? But what they really are feeling is like someone's trying to take advantage of me, and I am a patsy and an idiot for being taken advantage of. And they're not going like, okay, well, I'm overpaid. I can acknowledge that. So maybe I should overpay everyone. But that seems reasonable. I got overpaid, and how about I overpay everyone? So I kind of have that mentality, but then I have a line. I got a bid for Christmas lights where I was like, Well, this guy is basically saying you're so fucking dumb. And I got that triggered in myself. And I'm like, not a chance. If I add up the amount of hours, you're saying the hourly rate to hang these is $1,000. And then I get angry because I think you think I'm stupid. And, yeah, it's all my shit. That is like, okay, so if he is the best Christmas lights guy and everyone in town is like, oh, my God, he's the best. He can do something somebody else can't do. Or he's carrying this, he wants to get this thing for his home, and so his upcharge is this, coupled with what you just said. Well, just, I think you can get away with doing that. That's what it is. It's like, you're paying for my name, you're paying for a billion things, you know? My ability to go promote it. Yeah, much more than the talent. There is a marketplace force that is, now a lot of people are sliding through, I would agree. But they're not blindly going, yeah, that person deserves a million episodes. There is some calculus. But I just think the Christmas lights guy can overcharge if he has created something. If no one else can do what he can do for that price, he'll get it. That's true. Yeah. I brought in Aaron. He did a pretty good job. We'll never know how good the other job is. But, okay, now back to the movie. We have too much fun. We can agree, though, that pediatric oncologists should make more money. I mean, they need to be making the most amount of money of anyone. I think school teachers and nurses. School teachers, nurses, end of caregivers. Okay, I already know you're a good actor. I already know that. But I will say there was a scene in this where you're an actor and you have to go on tape. And it's not the greatest sides, right? The scene's not ideal. It's not probably what your character wants to be auditioning for. That's so weird. I don't know what that's like. Can't relate. And you're so good. I was like, Amanda's so good. She's reading this kind of terrible scene, and she's so believable and good in it. And it's so weird to act within a movie when you're acting, yeah? It's really weird. How do you decide, like, what level I'm going to give it? I've just decided lately, if I'm not, as Paulson and I always talk about, if I don't have an accent, a hunchback, and a snaggletooth, then I think it's really the most delicious to be like, okay Amanda Peete how real can you make this how much can you trick David and Sarah Paulson and they can't see the difference between you doing this and you and sometimes I forget and I have a terrible take obviously. Are those the two people in your mind that you're I do it a lot I think of Paulson sometimes because it helps me challenge myself because she's such a bitch we're both such bitches about acting like when you're together Fake, fake, fake. Like, we're just assholes. Yeah. That's a good chance. I can see it. I can see the acting. I can see the acting. I can see the acting. I'd like to watch something with you, too. It's the worst. So if I'm getting in a rut or if I catch myself trying to, like, orchestrate something or, like, this is a moment where I feel like I should cry a single tear, I try to, like, not do that. Yeah. And I try to always remember the Passover thing. Like, why this time? This is the only time. Why is this scene different from any other scene? And this is the only time it's happening. This kind of fun with acting just started. Yeah. I'm trying to tell my kids, like, you've got time. I'm so lucky that I still get a shot. And Matthew Shearer, just the fact that I came across that writing at this age. That's awesome. Yeah. Okay, so you have a scene. I don't think this gives away too much of the plot, but you're at a Chillamook ice creamery, and a young woman comes up to you and asks for your autograph. and you're pumped because your kids are there. And then she says, yeah, bless this mess is my nighttime show. Drop it. And I felt so sim. That is sim. You know I was on that show? Of course I know. I don't know if you know that. I don't know if you've seen that show. Of course I know. But I was like, I got this weird meta feeling. I'm like, oh, my God, they're talking in a movie. That's so crazy. I'm totally invested in about a show I was in. I love it. That's flattering. That means like a lot of people. Well, it's all about Lake, which is fair. No, I know, but they picked that show, which means they think that so many people have seen it. Thank you. But that is a clear. Thank you. Thank you. That was a really nice. Your colleague pumping you up. Sometimes she'll hype me on me, and I really appreciate it. When it's glazing. Glazing? Oh, I like that. Glowing? Glazing stuff. That sounds right. My kids are going to be like, oh, my God. Okay, so it's a known thing. Yes, and not only that, but in the scene, it was somebody else. And I was like, let's just do Lakeville. This happened to me. I cannot fucking tell you. Tell me about it. And not only that, but there was one time during this nine-month breakup where David and I weren't speaking. I'm the jealous type. I like that you can admit that. Oh, yeah. It was a mutual breakup, but I wanted to have a baby so badly I was 31. so I was really looking down the barrel of you know it was rough I find out through the grapevine that he's dating her wait really quick had you already been doppelgangers excuse me I go to a restaurant with a bunch of girlfriends it's a crowded bar I don't remember where it was but it was on Venice Boulevard and it was a big bar and they were trying to take me out to be like let's go Yeah. Yeah. And from across the bar, this dude just goes, Lake! Lake! Lake! And I was like, this actually can't be happening. Oh, no. It was literally within 24 hours. No. That's them. And then he started walking towards me. And I was like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. And anyway, it was this dude who was, I can't remember. He was an actor. And then he came closer and closer. And I was like, I'm not Lake. I would pay so much money to see how I said it. Yeah. The delivery. Yeah. Oh, that's so funny. And then I can't even tell you how many millions of times after. Wow. Approached in the airport. Can I have your autograph? I love you, Lake. So this was your suggestion, I'm presuming. Yeah. That's great. I think our deepest fear, right, is that we're replaceable. We're not indispensable. We're not unique. So if you see someone go out and get the other confusing version, it's like, oh, I'm highly replaceable. Yeah, exactly. Or it's like, well, then it's not my face. Then what is it? Also, by the way, which is the most gorgeous body ever? She does have a great body. She is like the line in When Harry Met Sally, like your basic nightmare. She is beautiful. She is. She is beautiful. I mean, it's hard to feel bad for someone that gets mistaken for her. I'm so sorry. No, you should feel bad for me. I mean, it's happened on the red carpet. Oh. Wow, that's annoying. I need to ask her how frequently she's getting you. I'm now quite curious. Yeah, I bet it does. I bet you it never happens to her. No, I'm sure it does. I bet you it never happens. There's no way. It would be weird. That would be weird. This is very time sensitive. Do you get mistaken for Amanda P? And if so, how frequently? Thank you. Oh, my God. If she pulls you back, I can't. Voice memo, voice memo. and see if something comes across the transom. So Mark Jacob's show, I think, really not that long ago, maybe not post-COVID, but stepped out of the car, already insecure. Like you had a fashion show. Not horribly, but just like. It's not a great place. It's not the greatest thing in the world. And it was just a chorus. This time, a chorus. Because once one person does it, again, I would pay so much money. I saw the pictures, but so much money to just have a close-up of my face kind of going. yeah because what are you supposed to do what do i do yeah oh my god and then recently i was with my daughter also on abikini at a store i forget what it's called and a woman came up to me with all googly eyed really excited i was like are you late though have you ever just gone with it because i have gone with it i take the picture and then i've already done the picture and they You've done the picture? And then I just love Garden State. And I'm like, great. I just keep it moving. You know what I'm saying? Like, somebody asked me for a picture. I posed for the picture. And then I learned, oh, they thought they were taking a picture of Zach Braff. And I don't correct them. I'm just like, oh, yeah, have a good one. Maybe it's because I'm disturbed by the original jealousy. So when it happens, it's... You're basically saying to David, I'm not Lake Bell when you're talking. Too weird to be like, yes, I am. I wish you. And guess what? I hate Peruvians. Let it be known. Like, what have you just started tracking? You should know before you go, I hate Peruvians. I tried to pick the most innocuous group. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They feel safe, right? You can say that about Peruvians. Nobody's safe. Nobody's safe. It's true. Okay, so I love the movie. You're fantastic in it. I was delighted to hear that thing selfishly. But it's just great. When does it come out? So it comes out March 27th. It's my daughter's birthday. That's my birthday. Older. Fortuitous. Yep, yep, yep. That's the 13th birthday. What time is she? It's a joke. I'm kidding. Yeah. Monica? Monica? Wait. Monica? She's a March, so she should be Pisces. That doesn't sound right. Is it your end of March? Because my daughter's February 20th and she's Pisces, so. Oh, then no, because my friend's Pisces, but she's March 14th. See? What if I'm just lying? So I'm like, guys, I'm not even into it. I don't even know. Aries. Aries. That sounds familiar. Okay, now Friends and Neighbors comes back April. Oh, you're right. April 4th or 3rd. Sex, I think, maybe. I wrote it down. I just love that show. April, April, April. That one got me. I really liked it a lot. All the rich people? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was really fun. I'm so glad. Yeah, yeah. We're in such an interesting time. There's so many shows about rich people, but the shows about rich people used to be like Dallas and stuff where it was kind of fun. It was wish fulfillment. It was admiration. And now it's just all about how miserable rich people are. I guess this is probably somewhat true. But, yeah, season two comes out, which means you already filmed it, I'd imagine. Yeah, we filmed season two. Already picked up for a third season. Already picked up. Congrats. Rare that one has security of this nature in our business. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, it's really weird. And you just hinted at it, and I'm experiencing a tiny bit of it myself, but it sounds like you've found a new gear for acting. Yeah, I just feel like I'm just better at it than I used to be. I believe that. You were fucking great in that movie, but do you think there's also something? I'm just projecting. We kind of talked about this the first time, too, by the way, but I used to have so many goals. So it's like when I did a scene, I wanted the scene to be great, and I wanted the scene to be great so that people would think I was great and give me more work. I couldn't live in the experience of it because I was trying to get somewhere the whole time, and I'm wondering if that sounds familiar. Yeah, not to get too heavy, but both my parents passed this past year, and it really rocks you. and even just reading about Kahneman lately and happiness, you know, his idea of that is really profound. What do you want to be doing for the next hour? Even if you're not shooting, how do you want to relate to people here? What are you curious about here? When I was 27, I wasn't like, I haven't met this person on the crew and I haven't talked to this person or that person. I'm like, you know, you're really interesting. How did you get here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This lack of curiosity, I think, when you're younger. Egocentrism. I mean, you can't avoid it. Egocentrism. Other people call it crudiness, I don't know. Just not having, like, the Grinch, the heart three sizes too small. Your curiosity hasn't developed. Yeah, it hasn't developed. There's no room to take in what the possibilities are today. And so that's also hugely rewarding. And you start realizing how critical that is, how part of what we do is a group thing. It's a team sport, folks. It is. Yeah. That's been really important to me lately, just the kind of bigger picture of it. Even on the plane, going there, I go back and forth because of the kids. Yeah, where do you live primarily? In LA. You feel so East Coast to me, and I only bump into you on the East Coast. Your friends and neighbors shoot on the East Coast? Yeah, we shoot in New York and outside of New York. So Jonathan Tropper, very sweetly, the writer-creator, I was like, I'm going to be a pain in the ass until school's out. So do you still want me? And he was like, sure. I don't know if he's, yeah. I'm feeling now. Things are now, but. But yeah, I'm like constantly on the plane in the beginning. And then the kids go when everybody goes east when we start shooting. Yeah, it sounds pretty corny, but I do feel that a lot more in my old age. It's so weird, too, because you think of youth as being the time when you're the most curious. Yeah, you're discovering. But it's all about you. It's very internal use, I think. And the goals are probably more Kahneman narrative or remembering self versus experience. Experience. Yeah. Which I worry about so much with our children because they're constantly at a concert or at a sunset or at the beach or reading a book or making a meal and photographing it. Yeah. At the moment that it's happening. They're jumping out. Yep, yep, yep, yep. I know. I don't know. I don't think it's good. I don't think I'm fully accepted because our kids are not on any social media, so I guess I am controlling in that way. Yeah, not until they're – I'm not even sure what the day would be, but we're years away from that for sure. 9th grade? No, I would think 16 would be the earliest. But 9th for a phone and then 16 for – I'm like, tell me what to do. I have a weird like AA thing, which is acceptance is the cure to all my problems, which is like, I accept that that's how this generation is. I just accept it. I'm not going to change the tide of this. This is what childhood is in this given day. I don't have the power to change it. But you do. You have. I have my limited power is to prevent them from having it till 16 or however they get crafty enough that they get it. And I don't know. But currently, they can't get an app. And one only has a computer and one has an iPad without cell service. That's like the controls I can do. But you can turn 18 and leave. And then will she get on Instagram and stare at it all day long? I don't know. But I accept that it's going to be a different childhood than I have. And it's going to have an outcome that I don't know. But I have no illusion that I can change that. Why are you so seen? I'm not in so many categories. There's this one I got. Kind of annoying. It is from AA. That is why. I also worry about parenting in Brentwood with that certain brand of exceptionalism. Fucking my kids, the exception, my kids. Yeah. I think it's fair to understand the context your kids are living in and try to course correct. Yeah. With the privilege, I think it's good to try to instill generosity. That's all you can do is sort of set an example. Sometimes, though, I think it's happening in an unconscious way. I'll just tell this story really quickly. Again, it's my sister, Molly, a few years ago, who's my middle one, and she's the one who's least likely, I would say, to fib. She's straight shooter, heart of gold, fairly easy to read, terrible stomach ache in the evening, and then woke me up at 2 in the morning. I gave her two Advil and a hot bath, and she was still like, it's hurting, it's hurting. So because she's not a drama queen, I took her to Children's Hospital. We sat for two hours. It was fucking two in the morning. They triaged her, and they were like probably constipation. We drive home. She goes to bed. The next day, she wakes up for school, and she's like, it still hurts. And I'm like, okay, stay home from school. At around noon, she was like, it really hurt. She was crying. We go to the pediatrician. He's like, go to Children's again, and this time don't leave. He thought it was appendicitis. So we get to Children's Hospital at 5 p.m. on a Friday night. Good luck. It was wall to wall with families, babies, kids. So around midnight, she's been watching Max and Ruby in between crying for like 10 hours or something or whatever. I'm so bad at math. And my friend who was a resident, she thought maybe she was a resident with some of the doctors who were on call. So she was like, let me call for you and see if I can get you in. Now that it's midnight, you've been there since five. It's a lot. And she was in excruciating pain. And so she called me back and said, I'm so sorry. She's in a Q85, which is like she's way down the line. Oh, my God. I was about to lose my shit. And I think it was like two in the morning. We finally got called in. The doctor on call came in. They did the ultrasound. They were like, you're about to burst. You're like, this is about to burst. you will go for emergency surgery as soon as the surgeon is in you'll be first up 7 a.m whatever so I call my sister a few days later I was talking to them about the surgery and stuff because I always do that but I was like going on a tirade like about how outrageous it was and how it was such a close call and she was just silent and I was like what's up what do you want to say Yeah. And she's like, there are probably kids in there who had leukemia and appendicitis. Everything was triaged exactly right. How it's supposed to be. She made it. They got it before it burst, and they did everything right. And I was like, what? Yeah. What is it? L.A. parents, like Westside parent, there is a lot of the perfect example where I was like, get my child in. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. get my child past these other children. Yeah, I think that's insanely natural. I think that any parent is like, how do I get my kid to the front of the line? Of course. Not my sister. Well, she's an anomaly, although she has friends, so she could. She knows she could pull that. Yeah. No, she's dead right about what she said to you, but does she have children? Okay, great. So I also think the notion that any parent's not going to desire that is insane. I also think that's living in a fake reality. I've heard different experts talk about this. There's a reason that our ring of empathy extends so far. We have evolved to, of course, prioritize our genes. That's how we got here. We didn't get here because our parents prioritized other kids over their own kids. You wouldn't live right now. You can't come from that background. You come from a background, all of us, of people who prioritize their kids over everybody else's. That's why you're here. So there is a certain evolutionary reality which we're living in, And I don't think you deserve judgment for that. I think if you called and complained, you'd be an asshole. Right. But I don't think you're morally repugnant because you had that instinct. Well, I think what shocked me was how certain I was that something had gone terribly wrong. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And how jolted I was out of that conviction and how much I hadn't considered. Right. Was that shit. I think you realize something logically, but I don't know that we have to go so far as feeling guilty about that instinct. We'd be denying the reality of what we are as a species to pretend that that shouldn't be or wouldn't be the instinct of anyone with an offspring. It's such a longer conversation, but I do think this bleeds into some of the other stuff we're talking about. Oh, yeah. You're navigating that line at all times, right? Yeah, even having nothing to do with our children. I participate in this thing. Who was it that we just had? It might have been Michael Lewis that was talking about the boxification of society. Skybox. Skyboxification of society. Baseball parks didn't have skyboxes. There were no lounges or VIP viewing areas. Oh, yes. Good job. And, yeah, that's fucking problematic. That's why we have this issue with elitism, and that's why we do have a very bifurcated society of haves and have-nots, and it's all very troubling, and it does deserve some attention. yeah we're all in the water yeah I just love when everyone gets to admit like oh yeah it's fucking dicey and murky and yeah we're in it yeah I like purses so do I girl so do I oh my god well I gotta say man I don't think we've gone this long in a long time no that's such a sign of how much we enjoyed this this was so fun did you like it? yeah I want to come back here Yeah, yeah. Anytime. Much better in person, isn't it? Yeah. So much better. And I want to be like a fly on the wall for some of your people because you're so. You have some good ones. Well, we have this chair. Well, good. So let's trade because I came into this with an agenda. I said ear market. I said it to my wife before I got here. I have a very sincere and deep, deep desire to hang out with you and Paulson. We were at, maybe it was the Emmys, and I had gotten a hot dog and a bunch of treats, and no one else was eating. And I'm like in the middle of eating, and I just hear, nice. and I look over and Paulson's recording me, which, again, testament to her ADHD. There's a show going on, but somehow she found me eating a hot dog a row behind herself. She's somehow distracted by me eating a hot dog and filmed me. And I just feel like I might be able to drop right into the lunacy of you guys. I'm requesting. I would love to hang out with you, too. I want you to hang out with us. Oh, do you want to watch her? No. I've had a lot of offers lately. Okay, yeah. That's why I'm saying interesting. Yeah, I love it. You don't say I live for women right now. No, I've been playing for years and years and years and years and years. It's a new thing for her, too. No, it is not. You're dedicated to playing often. Rachel, Anthony, and Allison and I used to play when I lived in the old, old, old apartment. I believe you, but you had a big hiatus. I want to talk about it. So you should play with us? You guys should play with us. I want to because I need to get in a flow state for more. I need more things. Yeah, okay. Like I have a few things that are my things, and I need more. Okay. But let's add it to the list. I just want to watch TV because Belle and I do a very specific thing, so it would be great. You guys can cover the acting. Do you know about this thing we already told you about? We play a game in Belle where we go to two. We're watching a scene, City on the Hill, Kevin Bacon Show, great, great show. For whatever reason, they're shooting the entire scene from high and above over their shoulders, and we're watching it, watching, watching it, and I go, Mike, can you go to two? Yeah, the director is tall long before we have the ceiling back because he's feeling like he might want to shoot eventually up a little bit. this bird's eye is not working for him and then christen goes as you know they broke the ceiling on the way back from lunch so it is in construction right now that's adorable or so once i were watching also a guy it was an extra clearly he had to light a candle in the background and they did not give him a long enough match and this poor extra's got his fingers in this thing clearly he's getting burnt right there's an important scene going on but christen goes go to two i thought we were gonna have stunts like the candle gary he's not stunts right he's background. We like to break down what's going wrong. I love it. It's so fun. You guys would have fun joining in on that. That's basically what we're doing. You're right that it's very acting focused. Yes. We'll be like, go to two and somebody else after lunch. Gwen's asking if she's going to continue to use the accent because it wasn't established in scene 203 and we've already shot that. Does she know? I can't say so many things on the phone right now. Well, this was a blast. Thank you, guys. I adore you. Everybody watch Friends and Neighbors, and everyone watch Fantasy Life. March 27th, and then April returning for Friends and Neighbors. I adore you. I adore you guys. Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong. Okay. Okay. Where do we start? There's so much to say. There's a lot to start. You want to talk about the awards show? Yeah. Yes, this last Sunday, I guess two Sundays ago. A month ago. Yeah, was the Actor Awards that Kristen hosted, and I was her host writer, so I was there for all the fun stuff, and it went great. I thought it went so well. Everyone was very happy with it. and I mean I don't really have that much to say about the awards other than like it is fun it's a fun thing to do we've done it for each of these that was really cute well I did get to I was we were right backstage for Kristen to do her good nights when they were reading when Michael B. Jordan came off stage after winning and that was really cool to kind of see that backstage moment. I was very, I loved that he won. And then, let's see, were there any other snacks? Snick snacks? I mean, oh, obviously Noah Wiley is... What adjectives are you going to use here? Just the perfect man. Uh-huh, uh-huh. So sexy, so hot. Uh-huh. Seems to have so much integrity and kindness. Yes, he's nice. Yeah. He's. I'm unsuspicious. How's this guy so good? You would be suspicious. It's like the Mike Schur effect where you don't trust it because it's so good. But he is. I believe it. I believe it. So we wrote a bit with Noah and Kristen where Kristen ended up having to read some medical jargon, which was really a fun bit. And we told him, like, if he has time, he just has, like, 30 seconds to come backstage to, like, talk it through for a second. And then he did. Were you standing next to him? Yes. But I didn't get introduced, so it's kind of like, I don't want to be like, hey, I wrote this. And then also, I have this podcast, and then you were on the hayride, and we've been chatting. And you said, and so I've been waiting. But in person, he's even hotter. I couldn't believe my little eyes. They were deceiving. You felt deceived by them. And we know I don't have good eyes, good vision. True. But I was like, oh, my God. I think they're like adding wrinkles to the pit. Like in person, he doesn't even have it. He's so attractive. Wow. I love him. The most. It's probably why he's not coming on. and anyway so that was exciting stuff yeah congrats that's really fun and then yeah we were just all very happy and you were coming I knew you were maybe gonna come I was TBD right and I even had to tell Kristen I'm gonna try my hardest to go and bring the girls I wanna go back a little bit so that was Sunday Friday or Thursday we interviewed Ike Barinholtz Easter egg sorry that's coming up and Ike also participated in a bit which was very nice and so we were talking about that and then you said yeah I'm going to go I just realized I'm getting a colonoscopy on Monday so Sunday is the day that I have to do all the prep whoever's not had a colonoscopy or at least the version I always have You can't eat the whole day before. So I had my last meal on Saturday at 8.30 at night. I need to add these details. Okay. So I'm obsessed with my weight, weighing myself. Yeah. So I weighed myself on that night, Saturday night, and I was 206.8 pounds. Yeah. Then Sunday, no eating. Yeah. You take this terrible drink, and then in about a half hour to an hour, it starts. Yeah. And it is evacuations that I think only dysentery would be a comp to. Yeah, you're not, like, most people are just like, no, you just don't leave the toilet. You're just like, hang out in the bathroom, and then you just get back up on the toilet. And so you were like, so that's going to be interesting. And I was like, no. I was like, don't come. Don't come. I got to say, the prescribed way to do it was just take it at 12 p.m. Okay. and I would be leaving the house at 4 p.m. so we could all come yeah I also have a lot of things to do because I'm also going to go to the track the day after the colonoscopy so I got a Tuesday Tuesday morning yesterday morning so I was um I had a lot of little projects on Sunday I was building this wheel truck for the back of my truck to load my motorcycle and get all my gear the whole thing It takes a few hours to get prepped to go to the truck And I'm going back and forth at the can. And so we went, and I didn't have any issues on the car ride. That's probably the scariest part. We went to the show. Luckily, Kristen had a port-a-potty directly outside of her dressing room. Yeah. And so that all went great. I only had to visit that one time. I know, which I was shocked. I was like, okay, this is how it went on this end, right? Okay, so we're sitting with Ike. You're like, I say, don't come. And you were like, I have to. I have to come. And I was like, oh, no. So then in my head, I was like, this is going to be a disaster. Like, he's just going to be pooping the whole time. and okay and then like yeah the bathroom situation and then so no one should be going into that bathroom so we're gonna have to find another bathroom that's close by for everyone else you know i'm doing this whole thing in my head and then we we get there and kristen's like uh dad has a colonoscopy so he might not come and i was like oh he might not okay he might not come he's decided i'm doing a lot in my head you know like oh okay he's decided like yeah you know what maybe I shouldn't go. And then a couple hours ago, they're coming. Oh, okay, they're coming. They're inbound. Yep, all right, okay. Clear the bathroom. And then you came, brought the kids, and then I was just shocked because at some point I said, because we were obviously in and out of the dressing room because she was performing. And so then at one point I came back, I said, how many times have you been in the bathroom? And you said once. And I was like, oh, my God. And I was up to pee at that point. I was like, is your body, like, because you've had so many, maybe it's used to, maybe it's like more used to it. I don't have an explanation. I just was like, if your wife's hosting the show, you got to be there and you got to bring the kids. And that's that. You're like, that's what you do. Oh, pause. I did run into Ike of court when we were doing the bit. It was a pre-tape bit. Okay. It wasn't meant to look pre-tape. So if I just spoiled that, whatever. Anyway, so I was, I. was with Ike backstage while we were doing that, and he was like, so is Dax, like, you know, shitting his brain? So I was like, he's not here yet, but he is coming. And I told, and I was like, I'm nervous. And he was like, yeah, no, yeah, you got it. Then you change the colonoscopy. You throw money at the problem. I was like, yeah, that's why, yeah, he's right. If you have the money, if you have the funds, this is where you use it. But, okay, alas, it didn't actually matter. You did great. The bigger issue for me was by the time I got there, I hadn't eaten for 22 hours. Yeah. And the entire room was full of French fries. There was no corner of the room. I don't know how many people you guys thought were going to be eating French fries, but there were a couple hundred orders of yummy smelling French fries and burgers everywhere. And I was just like, oh my God, I'm so fucking hungry. So, okay. I get home that night. I wake up the next morning and I weigh myself and I am 197. Yeah. So I've lost 9.8 pounds in 34 hours. That is an enormous baby. So then I take that. You have to take a second dose at 8 a.m. Day of. Okay. For the remnants. Oh, remnants. Remnants. And then I take Delta to school. Oh, God. You are so willy-nilly. Okay. And that works out. I get home. It hits kind of right after I get home. So I'm like, whew, okay, we dodged that. Now, okay, now here's the series of unfortunate events. So I'm starving. Yeah. I'm going to the bathroom every 10 minutes. My butt now is hurting. Yeah. It's not like I hate it, right? Yeah. I'm hating it. But I've also ordered a actual professional plumber's snake for my shower in my bathroom. I had been using a coat hanger, as you know, I call it going fishing. Right. And I'd gotten a big thing out, but I'm still noticing there's some backup. Okay. So I ordered a 25-foot snake. Okay. And I've got an hour to kill before I've got to get in an Uber to go to the colonoscopy. And I'm in all my clothes, and I take the drain cover off, and I'm putting the snake in there, and I get to something, and then I'm spinning, spinning, spinning. And then this really weird thing that scared me. I can tell you later what I think would happen but all I can tell you is I'm spinning spinning spinning and then all of a sudden it pulled my arm down and I was like oh my god there's an animal in there that is on the other end so I jerked this snake out and Monica there was a huge fucking hairball at the end and then like a quarter gallon of that black inky fucking sludge that completely exploded all over my face, my hair, my white shirt I was wearing, my shorts behind the shower door open, the walls, my white walls in the fucking bathroom, the floor, the entire shower is covered in black ink. And I'm covered head to toe. And I'm like, oh my, I want to die. What is all over my face? This is weird. This is kind of a sim ding ding ding to an Armchair Anonymous we had just heard. Which one? Remember? The sink and the poop and the sewer in her kitchen. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. When he was flushing it out on the other end. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I'm covered in this disgusting black inky liquid that it's so hard to get off. Oh, no. And I'm like, I'm so fucking covered that I think, what's my move? Yeah. So then I get in the shower. Okay. I turn it on. I clean my clothes first. Oh, okay. You didn't want to get rid of those. Well, I didn't want to put those directly in the washing machine because I was like, this is disgusting. Okay. So I'm washing my clothes while I'm wearing them. I clean the entire shower. Then I clean the entire floor of the bathroom, all the walls of the bathroom. Yeah. We are now, I'm late to go to my colonoscopy. No. And I can't miss the colonoscopy because if I have to do the prep again and not eat, right? So I jump in an Uber. I'm so frazzled at this point. I mean, also during that whole cleanup, I'm also having to go sit on the toilet occasionally. I'm like, I want to give up on life right now. Yeah. Then I get in the Uber and I drive and I'm like, okay, I pull up and I'm like, great. I'm only one minute late. I jump in the elevator. I run up. I walk in the office. I immediately feel like when I walk in the office, this can't be right. I walk up to the thing to check out. Hey, I'm checking in for my colonoscopy. And she goes, with which doctor? And I say the name. And she goes, oh, yeah, he doesn't do them here. This is the office. And I'm like, okay, I got to get there. Where does he do it? She gives me an address on Wilshire. I now run out of the building, 10th floor. I'm typing in the address on the Uber. I get on the curb. Uber pulls up. I text the doctor directly. Hey, I went to your office. He goes, okay, we're not there. We're on Spalding. I go, Spalding, your office just told me, Wilshire, I'm now in Uber going to the wrong address. Oh, my God. I'm already late. And I'm like, dude, they told me this address. He's like, no, it's this. Now I got to sweet talk to Uber. Can you take me to this address? Thank God he did. And thank God you aren't pooping in his Uber. Yeah. Yeah. So by the time I got there, I was like, what a last hour and a half I had on top of all the other stuff. You were ready for that. anesthesia nap. I was, and I got to make a big correction. Okay. So I've sat on here in the past, and this is what they used to do in the past. They used to give you Versed to relax you, and then they give you propofol. They don't do Versed anymore. Yeah, I don't think I've had that. And I asked about it. I said, didn't you used to give Versed? And they go, yeah, but it can cause amnesia, and you can have, like, you can, we don't use it anymore. Yeah. I'm like, oh, man, the only thing that was getting me through all that, I was like, well, I'm going to have Versed in a minute. That'll be worth it. Yeah. No Versed. You can't even feel propofol. It's like you're sitting there and then you wake up. Yeah. I was always confused when you've been talking. I'm glad you said this. Yes. And I'm like, what is this thing he means? Yeah. Like, I just, you're like, you're there and then you're not there anymore. Right. So, good news. My colonoscopy was great. There was nothing. Great. Yes. And I had the endoscopy. Endoscopy. Endoscopy. everything looked golden there great so Annie even said you know next time we could wait five to seven years that's good and I said let's compromise at six so now I have six years instead of five years that's great news also I asked if you ran into a situation that you once had before where you got shamed because they were like you didn't get all the poo poo out they made a point to say that I did an excellent prep. I know. He said, how did the prep go? And I said, it's just iced tea. And he said, perfect. It's just iced tea. That's what you're looking for at the end? At the end, if you're down to it just looks like iced tea, you've done a good prep. Ah. Yeah. Sorry, listeners. Okay. So that went great. I mean, yeah. Yeah. And then, oh, here's the sim moment. The nurse, incredible nursing staff, of course. shout out Vita awesome lady she said what are you going to eat yeah that's what I was going to ask I'm probably going to try to get my wife to stuff at In-N-Out she goes you know that's what most people say they say In-N-Out and I said oh wow or they say pastrami and I go oh wow yeah fucking pastrami sounds so good and then I start thinking I almost wonder if there was I start thinking like do I go to fucking Langer's order Langer's So they let me out. I walk out into the car. There's a little tray, and on the tray is two pieces of gluten-free sourdough bread and fucking hot pastrami. What? Kristen just thought, oh, he'll be so hungry. What should I get him? She brought hot pastrami. That's very simple. That's so simple. I wonder almost if when Vita talked to her, she said, hey, he really wanted. Well, they do have to call to say when to pick you up. I'm going to ask Chris. That seems like such a coincidence. Yeah, maybe she said he said he was thinking about pastrami. Well, it was so good. Yeah. The car ride home. It was from Langer's. Oh, and then I woke up yesterday morning. I could barely wake up. Yeah. Is that propofol or just all the action my body went through? All the action, yeah. You're probably tired. Well, you're definitely tired. And I felt very blessed. I started to get superstitious about going to the track because I weirdly have on the schedule Friday, I'm going to see my shoulder doctor, which I haven't had a checkup on in four years. I have some nerves. If people don't know if they're just now joining us. There's lots of metal in my shoulder in this wonderful. Because of the track. Because of the track. And there are a couple nerves on top of the metal that drive me nuts. I want to know if they can just cut the nerves, right? Yeah. So that's the point of my appointment. But I just kept thinking on the car ride there, this feels too weird that I already have a shoulder appointment on Friday. I know. I don't want to get fucking hurt. It just felt jinx-y. So, very happy to report. It was a lovely day at the track. Four sessions. No issues. Lots of fun. Great. A lot of updates. No, those are good. Colonoscopy is a big update. I wonder when I'm going to have to start doing that. You never had one? Mm-mm. Yeah, it's time. Really? Yeah, you're fucking 37. I'm 38. That was a... Oh, you did that? That was nice. I don't think you have to until you're 40. Okay. And also, it's not in my spam. I don't have, like, no one's told me I need to. I want you to plan yours around something eventful so that we have some content. No, I'm smarter than that. Like day before, or prep day's golden gloves. Yeah, exactly. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare. I have a fun update for you. Okay. I ran into Joy last night. No. Joy Bryant? Joy Bryant. My spiritual sister? Yes, your co-star. Ex-wife. And ex-wife television wife. Yeah. It was also Sim because earlier that day I was on Instagram and I saw a picture. I almost sent it to you, but I guess I forgot. it was a picture of the cast of Parenthood and it said 16 years ago today the show premiered but it was actually oh this is why I didn't send it to you so I was like oh my god Sim weird but then it was 23 hours ago so it was a day late and I didn't feel like that was Simmy so I didn't send it but then it was turned out it was Sim because then And yesterday, Jess and I went to Dunsmore, a restaurant, a very, very delicious restaurant. Where's it at? It's in Eagle Rock. Oh, that makes sense. And the thing is, it's very hard to get a reservation there. But they do walk-ins, but like a few. Good luck. It's good luck. And you have to get there so early. So we got there early. And Jess was like, oh, we're the first one. He was ahead of me. And he was like, we're the first ones. And then he was like, oh, wait. And he's going around the corner. Clearly there are other people there. So I kind of didn't see then. Then I'm walking up. I turn the corner. It's joy. Come on. And I get really smiley. But I see that she looks kind of mad. She's talking to Jess and looks kind of mad. Oh, okay. And I was like, what's going on here? Hi. and she she was like she kind of got like whipped out and she was like oh oh hi oh oh my god she like had this all so I guess Jess had Jess said didn't recognize and didn't know it was Joy didn't recognize her for a second I guess so going both directions exactly no both people didn't recognize either one and Jess said oh I think the line starts over here yeah and so she didn't like that at all and I walk in in the middle of that and then she sees me puts it all together softens becomes so joyful and she's like oh my god she's like oh my god I didn't recognize summer body and then we were all chatting a lot and it was really sweet and fun and she was like yeah but don't tell me where to stand and I was like yeah Jess don't tell her where to stand. But then, you know, like eight minutes later, the manager comes out and is like, start the line over here. Okay, okay. Yeah, sure. But she's like, bitch, I'm here first. I'm only going to try to act like... The thing is, he just knows because we've done that line. Who was she with? She had two friends with her. And it was a fun bumping and it was a sin because 16 years I just found out. And she, of course, said to say hi. Okay, fun. What did you get and what did she get? Well, I get, they have a stew there. It's a chili stew. Okay. There's no explaining it that matches what it tastes like. It's, I think, one of my favorite foods in this city. Oh, I want to try it. It's so good. And what you do, it comes with tortillas. And you put a tortilla out and then you order the cheddar chide mashed potatoes. and then you put like a little bit of mashed potato and then stew and you eat it in the tortilla. It is so good. So I guess. Sounds hearty. It's so delicious. So I went down the street to pop into a store and while I was doing that, Jess was telling Joy about the stew. You got to get the stew. Uh-huh. And then, you know, we went to our separate tables and Jess told our server, hey, if they don't order the stew, please order them the stew on us. They need to have it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they did not order the stew. Okay, great. And so they did get the stew and she was very grateful. I'm just glad she got to try it. Yes, yes. Because she, you know, you read it and you're like, I don't really need that. You got to be in the mood for a stew. Although I'm always in the mood for a stew and pot roast. Oh, my God. Well, it's a mix of stew and pot roast. Remember, we did a stew for Game of Thrones. We sure did. For a night in the Seven Kingdoms. And that was a yummy stew. Great stew. Great stew. From the worst sounding restaurant name in history. Yeah, that's very skeptical. Robot restaurant. Yeah. Anywho, so the stew is the thing that I love to get there. But we got other stuff, too. I want it now. You need to get it. I'm going to go. Okay. Eagle Rock's not too far. It's not too far? manageable. Alright, well let's do some facties. For Amanda P? Yes. What a fun interview. I know. I enjoy her. I love when interviews get philosophical. Yeah. That's the whole point of the show. That's why we did it in the first place. Now, when did her and Ben Stiller date? So you said 97. She was like, no, no, no, no. Way later than that. It says online briefly dated for a few months in 98. Yeah. But then And they started an off-Broadway play together in 2005. Anyway, so it's hard for me. It's still a mystery. It's still a mystery. We'll have to ask Ben. Yeah, I'll see what he thinks. Yeah, I'll see what he has to say about that. Okay. I looked up the percentage of seizures that are psychosomatic. Mm-hmm. They're called PENS. They're called P-N-E-S. Psychogenic non-epileptic seizures. this says account roughly 5 to 10 percent of cases in general outpatient neurology clinics rising to 20 to 40 percent in specialized epilepsy monitoring units say the numbers again i got distracted because you said peen and it reminded me of a story i wanted to tell you oh okay great sorry sorry sorry what was the percentage five to ten in general outpatient neurology clinics but 20 to 40 in specialized epilepsy monitoring units. I said 30, right? You said 30. I think that's what our expert had said. You said 30. And let's just remind everyone that our experts said mine were real. I know. Now, that's an interesting thing. I know I would want to say that, too. Of course I want to say it. I would want that, too. I would want people to know. No, I have the real epilepsy. But what's really sad is they have seizures, and they're just as much of like a victim. I'm saying I would want to say I have real epilepsy, epilepsy too. Yeah. But I think there's something there. Well, I know what it is. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes, yes, yes. Go ahead. Yes, but I know what it is. This becomes like the type 1, type 2 situation. No, it's not. It does. The only people that are mad when I talk about diabetes, the flack I get are always from type 1 diabetics, wanting us to make it very clear. This just came up, and I had to look it up to defend myself. So only 5% to 10% of diabetes cases are type 1. So when people are talking about diabetes, generally speaking, yeah, they're talking about the 90% of people that have type 2. But what's funny is they, I've been accused of shaming them, but what I think that's really happened is that type 1 are shaming the type 2. They're going, I was born with this. I didn't give it to myself. And I don't think that's the right framing of it. I don't know that that's a generous take. Okay. I think they want to be like, I'm not one of those people. It's actually you that's being mean. Not you. Yeah. The type one people that are so mad. They're being mean to type two people. I don't. But again, I don't know that that's generous enough because maybe the type one people are like nothing about the type two people but what i have been going through my whole life is a different thing than what when then what they're going through not that they're not going through something they are but i would say it's the same thing it's just uh what was the cause of it yeah but type one but right but you have to monitor your blood sugar you have to administer insulin you have to do like so you are the conditions are the same well maybe type two Well, my cousin has type 1, and he didn't realize it until he was, like, 21 and went into a coma. Right, but he had it his whole life. But a lot of... Probably. I mean, yeah, clearly he has it genetically, but it wasn't an issue until he was in his 20s. Or, like, when we had Hallie Berry on, and she talked about it. It was an issue. She was just kind of, like, self-medicating it. Yeah, like, your body's telling you you drink a ton of water all the time. In his case, he was drinking Swarpies when he got thirsty, which is why he got... But also, there are tons of type 2 diabetics in adolescence. Yeah, that's true. And you have the same disease, but you're so worried someone thinks you have type 2. So what I'm saying is you think it's really bad to have type 2 and that you hate to be confused for them. Maybe. I don't know. I don't think it's on me. I don't think it's on you either. But I just, I don't think it's bad to differentiate. to say like, if they're mad about it, that's one thing, but I don't think it's weird to be like, yeah, I have type 1, I've had it my whole life, it's genetic, that's just what I'm dealing with. Yeah, but when we had the expert on, she was like, the people that have the psychosomatic seizures, which again is like 30 or 40%, they have way more. That's part of the way they diagnose it. Oh, it's not actually the pattern of epilepsy, where you're like four a day, three days a week, that's generally not how it works. So it's like it could be worse in some cases. Right. But it's also different. It's like the treatment, the treatment is completely different. That medication is not going to fix that. I'm just saying I would hate for someone to think I've given myself an illness. Right. My own vanity and ego would hate for someone to think I gave myself a psychosomatic illness. Yeah. And I'm saying for me, I wish I didn't feel that way. Right. So for me, the reason I wanted that validation from her and why I just said it is because for a while, it felt that there was some questions around mine. And like, was it, do I have epilepsy? I don't know. She had two seizures. Like, does she kind of maybe not? And there, I think there were some alluding to that so when she was like no that's like so plainly yes yeah i was like oh good like good i i am not crazy yes you felt like i was accusing you of imagining it a little bit yeah and so from from my perspective yeah my two defenses of it are more than you thought you had epilepsy you thought you had a brain aneurysm i never really thought that i couldn't tell the difference you talked um often about really thinking you have something going on in your brain you mean before before oh before yeah yeah i was like something when i after the first seizure that i didn't know what it was yeah i was like something well i was like something neurological happened yeah i'm just saying you had said you also thought you had a brain aneurysm more often than you said you had epilepsy and i didn't think you had a brain aneurysm so yes in that respect I definitely am guilty of going like well it's probably as serious as the brain aneurysm which I don't think you have a brain aneurysm so that's I apologize for that secondly my bigger resistance to it is like I don't want that for you I don't want you to have epilepsy and have to be on medication the rest of your life and have to monitor it I just don't want that for you so I'm not quick to embrace that because I don't want it for you Right. That's a lot of what was going on. I don't want that for you. Yeah. So let's not jump to that. Let's not, you know, let's not. Totally. Yes. And I appreciate that. To me, it's like, well, I don't want you to have psoriatic arthritis. Right. But you have it. Mm-hmm. And also, if you heard, like if I heard that, oh, actually, like a bunch of people who have psoriatic arthritis don't actually have psoriatic arthritis. and wouldn't you be like no but yeah but I have it and like they still have symptoms of you'd still want to be like yeah that's fine and that has nothing to do with me but I have it I think I would and I think the best version of myself wouldn't care it's kind of like the not caring whether people think they have ADHD and they don't it's like it doesn't really have anything to do with me I know what I have and I shouldn't care and for the most part I don't I don't care if you think you're dyslexic and you're not. I don't care if you think you're not an alcoholic and you are. I don't care if you think you're an alcoholic and you're not. I don't in general care. You don't care about the others, but you do want to be like, but I have dyslexia. I know. I have this. I was diagnosed. It's something I've been dealing with my whole life. So that's okay. Yeah, I'm admitting to you I would have said the same thing. Right. I'm letting you into my thoughts. So it's like I would say the same thing and then as a challenge to myself I think, why is that important for me? For me. Like, why do I, what's going on behind there that I have that strong inclination to go, but I have real dyslexia. Like, I think the best version of me doesn't really care. Yeah. But then the best version of you isn't also then acknowledging the truth. Like, the truth is you have it, and there are things to do if you have things. Well, the best version of myself knows what I have, and it doesn't matter what you think I have. that's the best version of me right I think we would agree on that like whether you think my dyslexia is imagined or not that's your business and like best version of Dax doesn't care Dax knows what Dax is and he doesn't care if you have your questions about it that's that's like really that is true and it's really living on an island it's like everything I know is that's all that matters. It's not letting in. It matters to me if you think I'm coming up with something in my mind. That matters to me as my friend. If it's a stranger on the street, I don't care what they think of me, but what you think of me matters to me. Right. I just want to be really clear about the timeline. The first one was in the night you had back pain. You did see someone who suggested it could have been a seizure. No. No. They never the seizures never came up. Okay. Ever. Which is why I was like, what's, they're like, we'll never know unless it happens again. They gave me the steroid. Remember, because we all thought it was, they were like, it must be some kidney thing, but then we took the urine. There's no kidney thing. So they're just like. Someone said to you, it sounds like a seizure. Yes. That was a year later. Right. When I went on the date. Yes. Yes. I went on a date. And at that point, I was like, you saw experts. They didn't say it was a seizure. You were on a date. This guy said it was a seizure. You now think you had a seizure. So right there at that point, you're right. I was like, I don't know that I believe that. The second time you had a seizure. A week later. Okay. After he told me that, which is also so wild. It is really wild. You had a seizure. Someone saw it. And I immediately was like, come live in our house. No, no. I think we're talking about two different things because I'm talking about more in the aftermath. I feel like there was some questions, even for me. Like, well, I had, yeah, I had two seizures. I've never had another one. Yes, I'm on the medication, but maybe it's not epilepsy. Maybe I just had these random seizures. Like, I think there were some questions around, do I really have this disease? Again, it's about, like, the label. Exactly, the permanence. And so when she said, no, you have it, I was like, okay, that's actually, it was also good for me to hear, not because of like, oh, I'm crazy, but okay, I have it. So I need to make, I can know that and make decisions about my treatment and stuff, knowing like, no, I do have this. So is this something I want to wean off of? Is it not? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That type of thing. Anyway, this poor, I mean, if you are having seizures, psychosomatic at all, it's horrifying. Anyone who's having seizures, I feel terrible for. It's horrifying. That I feel terrible for. Yeah. And if someone doesn't have psoriatic arthritis, but they have tons of joint pain and rashes everywhere, I feel terrible for that person. Whether or not they got this label I got. Yes, exactly. I agree. It's not like, but I do think it's good if you can know because then you can course, hopefully. But I think what I'm just trying to light on is there is a nature we have that if someone gave, quote, gave themselves something, you don't have to feel as bad. There's a stigma, yeah. You die of lung cancer, but you smoked for 40 years versus you never smoked and you die of lung cancer. We have two different categories for those things. We do. And I'm suggesting that we shouldn't. Yeah. Because I don't think, like, I had this kind of breakthrough thinking about my dad not too long ago. It was like, for whatever reason, through the many things that had happened to him, he had to smoke cigarettes. Like, he didn't have the same shot as everyone. So, like, yeah, for a while, I'm like, yeah, well, he smoked cigarettes. But it's like, but why did he smoke cigarettes? Yeah. I think that's what I'm trying to approach. It's just like, you know, does anyone, should we not feel bad for anyone? Right. And I don't think so. I mean, I think it should be equal. Yeah. Equal is going to be tough for me, but also, yes. Like, compassion for everyone. That's what I'm trying to shine a light on. Yeah, I think that's right. I'm aspiring to be. I'm not that way. Yeah. I feel worse for someone who has a blowout and hits a tree and dies than someone who got drunk and hit a tree and dies. Yeah. But I'm aspiring to recognize there's probably a lot of reasons. Yeah. Both things no one chose. Yeah, definitely. I mean, I will plainly say I'd rather have epilepsy than penis. Like somatic? Yeah, like teens. Because at least I can be on medicine. I can, like, control this. If I had peens, that's horrible. Yeah, that's like controlling panic attacks. Yes, yes. Like, no, I prefer this. So, okay, where did Lena Dunham go to school? Friends Academy, but what chapter? She did go to Friends Seminary before transferring in seventh grade to St. Anne's School in Brooklyn. Okay. So everyone was right because Amanda knew she went to school in Brooklyn. Exactly. And we knew she went to Friends Seminary. Yeah. And so you were right. Star-studded cast over there. Yeah, for real. Okay, what's the current number of money that you need before happiness plateaus? Modern studies show happiness often continues to rise with income, with higher plateaus suggested around $200,000 to $500,000 per year. Again, that's roughly what I was. Yeah, it's going to be hard. I thought it went into a million, though, but it could be wrong. Right. I mean, again, to me, depending on where you live. Absolutely. Makes a big, big decision. And $200,000 a year in L.A., you're not going to own a home. Yeah. You're going to be like, yeah, in an apartment, maybe a roommate. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard to live here. Did Lake respond? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great, and I got to send it to Amanda. Oh, fun. I get mistaken for Amanda Peet maybe like a couple times a month, pretty regularly. Just recently I got thanked for, or someone was like, oh, I loved you, and I got treated. Oh, was that jury duty? Yep. Security duty, jury duty. Oh, my God. I really loved all of my movies as Amanda Peet. So I'm always like, oh, should we get credit for this? and then I wonder if she ever gets fat yeah all the fucking time all the time that's a fucking compliment she's fucking hot isn't that great that's great that is so great it is but to both of them they're both hot it's hard to feel bad for either of them I know that's it thank you Thank you. I love you. That was fun. Love you.