Itchy Bones & Dream Catchers

You two are BAD friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and asian dude. You two are disgusting well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well well It was all good. It was all good. It was all good. I could sing, dude. Let me do your life song. Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum And he will not die alone. He'll have a fulfilled life with a beautiful wife and a couple of kids and they'll go fly a kite down by the ocean and one of his kids will walk out too far. And he'll go fly a kite at the end of the sea. What a birthday celebration. What a beautiful beautiful day. And let me say something. I appreciate everyone showing up to my party. So we rented a bowling alley. Montrose. Shout out to Montrose Bowl, man. Yeah, it was an intimate little setting. Awesome. Eight lanes. Yeah, there are some people I was like, why are you here? Well, let me guess who. You know? But most people are like, oh. I had pleasant surprises. There was a couple of people that didn't show up that I thought would show up and I think maybe it's... Well, Paul, I did. It's too far, buddy. It's not far at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have my dog, he said. Bring the dog. No, we already had one. Yeah. Okay. And then who else? Um, it was funny because there was all these different camps too. Well, it was the Tiger Belly camp and the Bad Friends camp. Bad Friends camp. But then there was also other pockets of things. There were other pockets of comics. You had a lot of younger comics. Yeah, younger comics, open micers. How was my speech? It was amazing. You called everyone an open micer. A lot of people that weren't open micers, you called open micers. They were kind of open micy. I don't really... I don't... That's a subjective term. So, and then I did a speech. What did I say? Did I mention... Who did I mention in my speech? Of course you. Did I mention you? No. You mentioned me, Kalyla. I was very sad. You mentioned me and Kalyla and the bad friends. Yeah, you mentioned Bad Friends though before Tiger Valley. You did is true. Yeah. Well, it's by ranking. Yeah, yeah. Kalyla did a phenomenal job. Phenomenous job. Phenomenous job. Yeah. One of the most Phenomenous jobs I've ever seen. And I also met the big bad Wolf. Oh, you did. Jason, I'm on. I will blow your house down. Dude. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah. Dude, one of the nicest, coolest dudes. He was over today. By the way. Yeah. Hey, handsome. But my point is that... Great. Let me say the rankings of gifts. Okay. Gift ranking time. Okay. Gift ranking time, dude. And I'm going to say this the most honest way possible. Please. Okay. Not only was this gift the best gift of the party, probably one of the best gifts I've ever received in my life. And that's Gene Hong. He gave me these... No. Andrew. Andrew gave me something that was such a surprise. Ottawa Field, right? Here's what... I want to be surprised. You love a good surprise. Right? Number two, it's going to have value. Financial value matters to you. Yes. No. Sentimental value. That's fucking bullshit. Yeah. Hello. We bought you 500-nil Louis Vuitton glasses. You go, I want the expensive ones. Yeah. And you got me those. We did. We did. We went back and got you those. But here's the thing. It was shocking. You didn't expect it. It was the best gift I've ever got. Can I tell people what it was? Of course you can. Yeah. He gave me... I gave him his own home kit to make a Chinese water torture and it's got all the instructions. It's so good. You can do waterboarding, right? It's really cool. Yeah. It comes with a mat. You know that Braveheart thing where he died at the end, that little slab? Dude, how fun... You can unroll that. I see an infomercial right now that's like, make your own waterboarding at home. Yeah. And Jimmy does it. Yeah. And then bamboo, you know what I mean? Because bamboo, that little sharp, like the tips, you can stick it in the pink. Right in the tip tip. Tip tip. Anyway. Tell them what I got you for real. I haven't knew what's going on. But he got me... Well, as everyone knows, I'm a big fan of Arsenal FC. It's a soccer team. Huge. It's your favorite soccer team. The shoes. The shoes are propping up the sign below. The shoes are down there. What shoes? The Arsenal shoes that I bought you. Let me see. They're propping up the sign. They remain in the box. Which is fine. Those are fine. This is fine. Yeah. The gift you got me way better. Well, yeah, obviously. So he gave me... So Arsenal FC, their biggest star of all time was a guy named Terry Henry. That's right. You got me a Terry Henry signed soccer card. But it's a very exclusive card. A very exclusive card. Exclusive card. Hard to get. For some reason you left the price tags on them. I did not. Yeah, you did. I did not. I can take photos of it right now and I can show you the price tags on it. Really? Yeah. On every single item. I must have forgot to take those off. So you know it is real. I must have forgot to take them off. Yeah. And in bold, you know what I mean? Do you have a price machine at home, like one of those sticker machines? I don't know because I Googled it. Oh, you did? I didn't trust it. It's a right about right. Okay. Yeah, yeah. And then he got me an Ethan Wanieri rookie card. Now this kid is from the academy. He's only 19 years old. He could be the next big thing. You think he might be one of the greatest Arsenal players of all time? He's great. That good. I mean, he's one of the youngest starters we've ever had. Aside from Max Nauman, he was 16 or something when he first played with an ACP. How old is this kid? What, Max Nauman? No, how old is this new rookie? Now he's 19 or 20. Wow. He's 18. He's 18. This guy? Wanieri. Ethan Wanieri. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's 18. 18 years old. Yeah. And you think he's... He was on the first tee. He played for the first team at 16, 17 years old. That's disgusting. We have a kid named Max Nauman who debuted at 15 two weeks, three weeks ago. He can't even drive a fucking car. Yeah. And he's putting a guess. They've never inserted their, you know, genitals into other genitals. You never know. I don't know how they... I don't know how they... That gives your person another story as a measure. Yeah. Excuse me? Well, that's how you joined teams when you were a kid. Or they've never had caviar. Is that better? That's probably closer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've never had caviar. They've never had, like, you know, snow beef. I love snow beef. Love... You know snow beef? I think I've had it with you. Yeah, yeah. Have you had snow beef together? Yeah, snow beef, yeah. But wait, the thing I got you that I'm really interested in... And then you got me a couple of different packet of a set of cards... Yeah. That probably will never open. Well, here's the deal. I'm old and I have to give some love to the truth of this. Our good friend helped me. I went to... I was going to a store. I ran into a good friend of ours. Do you remember who I ran into? Did you go with him to there? No, no, no. I literally ran him... Random ran into him. There's no way. How are the odds? My hand got. And I was like... He was walking out of one store next door. These two cool... I'll show you where they are. Okay. Collectible stores. And I was like, I want to get a collectible for you. And he's walking out with his buddy. And I was like, you have to be kidding me. Wow. I was like, I'm going to get a gift for Bobby. And I was like, are you coming to the party? That's why when I showed you... Was he invited? Yeah. He didn't come. I showed you the text. He said, my kids... You know what? I'm tired. You know what I'm tired of? Oh, God. What? He has kids, man. I'm tired of... That's the excuse. With anyone that has a kid, that's the great excuse. I don't want the information if they're sick, if they're dying. You know what I mean? I don't want to get a gift for Bobby. I should have said, if they're sick, if they're dying. You know what I mean? If one of them's in prison. Well, his younger kid is in prison. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, they have a dying toe. Right? There's nothing. I know. Itchy bones. They're nothing. Itchy bones? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Itchy bones disease, you know? I don't know, right? It could just be like, this is an excuse. I don't want to drive all the way over there. So I'm just going to say kids. I think he really couldn't because he was upset by it. But he helped me pick this. No. All right. He helped me pick it out. And he said that box set. And he goes, Bobby's an addict. I'm an addict. He's like, the thing I love about comic books and new card things is because it's like an addict. It's an itch to scratch. You're with addicts. And by the way, he said, in that pack, you can choose to not open it. But in that pack could be a like one of 10 card that's worth 10 grand. What's the card? You'll know when you open it up because it'll have a special look to it of the oven arsenal. It'll say to stick around at one of 10 or one of number on it. He's like, you should open it. He opens all of them. And you don't have to. But I think it's worth. Because that pack, because the price tag was on it, was 500. I think that's what it said. Yeah, $500 for just a packet of fucking. But that's not the real price. You know that. I put fake prices on those. So how much was the tier on re1? I think the tier on recard was like 36 bucks and 40 cents. And the rookie card he gave me for free. And that box that I think literally was $19.99. I think it's been like 65 bucks. Thank you. I appreciate it. I really do appreciate it. No, it was. I'm gonna throw them in a fucking. No, it was more. You want me to throw them in a fucking fire? No, stop it. Look at me right now. Yeah. I will throw them in a fire. Sure. I don't care. Are they the real prices? No. I'm gonna throw them in a fire. Do it. Okay. Because that's not worth anything. The on re1 is don't do that. Why? Please don't do that. Yeah. Yeah. That one was not cheap. Please don't do that. Okay. But is it the right? Anyway, let's move on. But the rookie card was free. I will say, shout out. The guy was friends with Joe and he was like, he's like, you want to, he's like, can I give this to you to give to Bobby as like an included gift? And I was, well, because I'd spent, we'd spent enough money that he was like, can I give you a free gift? Wow. That's a huge one. Well, he was super red. Exciting. Well, he's also a big fan. So he was like, is this cool? If I give you a gift to give to him, I was like, that's fucking awesome. He owns the store. So he was like, I'm going to give you a rookie card. He was, Bobby will know who it is when I said, okay, so I put in the thing. It's so good. It's awesome. It was, you know, the one year, a card was like a deep cut and it was like, in my mind, I'm like, Andrew's doing research. Hmm. Yeah. You just said that. He says, I was being very mindful and did some research. Well, I did research on where to go to get a collectible that I was looking for for you. So that is true, but he helped me with the other side. All right. I'm going to go down to the. Did I try to go to get a tier on rethink for you? You know what I really tried to buy for you? Assign Jersey from tier on rethink. I don't want that. Oh, framed on your wall in your room. I don't do that. You don't want that? No, I'm not like fucking. Well, then I'm glad I didn't buy it because I got Midwestern like, this is my man cave, dude. I'm alpha male, dude. Look, I got fucking Troy Aiken fucking signed for the whatever, whatever. You know what I mean? I don't like that. God, you're such a cut. In a deer head. I caught shot that in the woods. Well, my father, grandfather and father, except when I was 17 years old. You don't like those fans? No. So you don't like it? I love them. Okay. I'm just not that kind of guy. I'm beta. You're very. You're very sensitive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have a really cool Lou Reed one on the street. I have a photo of T'Shira Maffoon in his underwear doing a cheer. Hmm. Why? It's like a party. Is that at a party or it's a posed photo? It was at a party. It was just like a can. It was a candid photo of him partying. Yeah. That's kind of cool. Yeah. What else do I have? A couple of movie posters, but you know, I'm not, you know, I'm not, you know, I have like a deer head on my wall. I don't think that's the same thing. I have a dream catcher. Well, that's close to a deer head. Yeah. I have a dream catcher. Is it caught any of your dreams? Oh, really? Saving them. Have any of them come true? I hopefully not because they're all nightmares. Really? Oh, yeah. I have nightmares. Isn't dream catcher supposed to encompass your, catch your dreams and put them back out into the world? Isn't that what they're doing? I think it catches nightmares. Well, I'm pretty sure, yeah, it catches them before it goes into your head like it. You should know this, dude. It's still full. You were on reservation dogs. Yeah. Did you not pay attention to any of those guys said? I never even shook their hands. You never shook one hand. No, I'm kidding. No, he's kidding. I love them. I love them. Here we go. Let's get a gift for you. All right. So number one, Andrew. Thank you. Number two, I have to say Gene Hong. What did he get you? He got me those AirPods that translate language. No, the AirPods 3's that just came out. Yeah. Did you try it? No, they're still in the box. You're never going to use it. When I go to fucking Mongolia or something, would. When are you going? I go to Mongolia every year. Every year you go. Is that where you go and... There's a hut out there, dude. I don't think you're going to use that. And I love eagles. Big Mongolian eagles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love Mongolian eagles. The beef is good. They're delicious. Well, the Mongolian eagle meat is good. That's what Mongolian beef is, isn't it? Yeah. I have one of those. Sky cow. I have one of those. Hand, you know, those eagle hand moutains. Check out. Everyone needs one of those. Absolutely. Right. You know what? I also have, you know, how the cocks fight. The cock fighting the cocks. They're the little roosters. I have the little knives and the elbows. Oh, the elbow knives? I have a collection of those. I collect weird things, but my point is, is that's ranked down. The fucking gifts. Me, Gene Hong. Right. What did he give you again? The air pods. It's not that good. I mean, it's nice. It's okay. Now, that being said, you know, it's going to go down. Way down. Yeah. Well, so three was, I have to say Sarah Highland, my ex-girlfriend. Yeah. She got me some weird shit. She's cool. That's why she got me this weird Japanese, like a vintage toy from the 70s. Wow. Right. Weird Asian doll. She goes, let me take it out. She took it out and there's a button and it goes, hi-yah. A little tiny Asian doll. Yeah, that's a karate. That goes up to number one. Yeah, that's great. That's pretty cool. That's really cool. Yeah. And then it's a little scary. It sounds a little scary. Yeah. Her gifts. And then just give me dead last now. You can't go four, five, six. Okay. I'll give you dead last. And it's nothing against him. It must be. It must be. No water. So Sandy Danto. Oh, wow. He shows up two hours late. He was pretty late, but I think he had his thing with his kids. Oh, really? Kids again? Well, he showed up. Yeah. That's big. Itchy bones. Yeah. Oh, my kids have shivering eye disease. That happened. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to call Sandy's kid. I'm going to call Sandy itchy bones from now on. So he goes, here, dude. Happy birthday. I know you like these. What is it? And I could tell it's dream water. You know what dream water is? No clue. Dream water is what you go to the airport and you can, you know, you go to like any of those stores. Yeah. And it's a, you know, melatonin-y drink. Right. Like, yeah. Right. And it came in a box, but the box was so tattered and torn that I knew that he probably bought it 10 years ago on the road. Never, never gave it to anybody. I never gave it to anybody. It's like, I know you like these. It was like the most tattered I've ever seen any box. I mean, it's like brown and, you know what I mean? I love that. And I was like. Sat in his car. Okay, cool. Man, thanks. Yeah. What did he say when he gave it to you? Sorry, man. Happy birthday, man. Happy birthday. Yeah. Dude, he had, he told me he had 20 tattoos and he never used to have tattoos. I said, when did this happen? He goes, honestly, dude, I just started getting them. My wife and I wanted to get tattoos and then overnight he goes, I filled my arms. His arms are filled with tattoos. I've never seen them. He had so many tattoos. He's always wearing like long sleep shirts. I know, but I was shocked. Wow. I think it's time for me, by the way. I had a daydream the other day. To get a tattoo? I think it's time. I think a neck one is time. That's insane. Yeah, yeah. That's insane. I love Sandy. He's a very funny guy. Always long sleeves. Yeah, yeah. So he was wearing his suit coat. Look at his suits. He dresses so great though. Yeah, the kids got great style. He's got great style. Fancy, you don't have a tattoo either. Isn't it time to get a tattoo? No. Come on. Yeah. What are you going to get? I don't know. You have to dictate it. Well, I mean, you love the bears. Not that much. Oh, let me think. I don't know. Acute, just golf club. Just one little, yeah, but right here? Yeah. Smaller even. Maybe right there on my head. And just thin. Yeah, thin line. That's what I want. Thin lines, yeah, yeah. Like your arsenal, I don't have an arsenal. I'm going to get, how about this? I thought you had an arsenal. I want to get one. I want to get an arsenal here. What are you going to get? The cannon? Yeah. Yeah. And then you get a golf club. We'll go, yeah, that's pretty cool. That kind of looks like a scar though. Yeah, it looks like a scar. Yeah. Too thick. Yeah, it's really poorly done. Yeah, yeah. What does that say, papa? That's a little creepy. It's a little creepy. What if I write daddy with a golf club? Yeah. That's for you, a golf club on your shoulder? Daddy, Danny. Something, what about your wife? Something about your wife or something? Like something that reminds me of her on me? Yeah, or a little. I'm trying to think of what that reminds me of. Do you have a little funny thing that you call her? Like pumpkins or? I do. Yeah, what is it? I have a nickname. What's a nickname? I'm not saying. He killed this girl and they found her in the trunk. I wouldn't even know. It's so dark. Dude, this guy named David. David. He's a rapper in LA. They found his Tesla in a dump yard. I heard. And a year went by, they found the body of this girl he killed a year ago. She was sitting in a car for that long. So where was the Tesla in his driveway? No, it was in a dump yard, in a junk yard, right? Well, but they also interviewed the neighborhood, like the neighbors that he lived in there, like, oh, my dog would always like sniff at the car and there was a foul stench. So he kept her in the car for a long enough time, then he turned it into like an impoundment lot and it just sat there. And somebody. What a bad criminal. Well, let's not kill. Let's not. Don't do that. But if you're going to, but if you're going to, think it through. Think it through. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know, you got to know, you know, like the wolf in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in Pulfiction. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need one of those guys. You call that guy, they take the Tesla and they crush it in that fucking crushing machine. And that's gone forever. No, this guy didn't do his due diligence. Yeah, you guys just leave it there. Also, I listened to some of his music because I'm not familiar with them. Good. No, it's bad. So they should get them. They got to get them. It's terrible. Yeah. What would you do though? How would you do it? If I was going to kill you? No, no, no, no, but how to hide a body. Hmm. Well, you've obviously thought about it. So do you want to die bold? No, that's what I'm asking now. I've never even thought about it. Hmm. You know, so, you know, what does one do? Is there? Okay, let's say that here's a scenario. Someone attacks someone you love. Which one? Someone hurts your mom. Oh my God, forget it. Now you're a renegade and you go to Arizona to kill this person. You find him, you kill them, you call me. Well, my brother would kill him first. How does he going to get a ride to Arizona? He has a car. It's never going to make it. I've seen that thing. It's brand new. I bought him a new car. Wait, I just bought a new car? Yes. Why'd you do that? He's my brother. He's buying me a new car. You have the car you have for me. All right, Jay Leno. You could buy me an Andresa new car. Yeah, no, you know what? Because that wasn't on. All right, and then the sign is... You know how annoying that is? I actually said to him, I go, you're going to need a new car at some point. He goes, I'm going to add it to the wheels, Valov. His car has 270,000 miles. Oh my God. But it so runs well, even though the engine like, check engine like... But it smells in there because those cloth seats after like 20 years, there's so much stuff in those seats. How many times have you hooked up in that car? I don't hook up in my car. You've never hooked up in your car when you're in high school? You never hooked up in that car? I don't really hook up with people in high school. McCone. You never hooked up in a car in high school? You've never hooked up in the back seat of a car? I have, but not my car. You're a pussy. You're a pussy, dude. You're weak. You go in their car? I have. Be a gentleman. Whose car? There's one girl after we saw her. A Waymo? At the American. It's so funny to fucking a Waymo. Someone was the other day when we were behind the wheel. Why are you going at behavior planes? You're going to get come all over the streets. Stop, stop, stop. That was against policy rules. Stop, stop, stop. Yeah. So let's go back to... What he gives her criticism. My mom. You're going to use your hands a little less. You're doing it too wrong. Quo. Q-U-O. Quo. One of the tools I've personally seen make a huge difference for business owners is Quo. Formally open phone. That's what they used to be called before. And it's the same great business phone system you've heard me talk about before just with a brand new name. And here's why it matters. Tell me why. Well, if you're running a business, you know that every time you miss a call, you're leaving money on the table. And every customer conversation matters. You need a phone system that keeps up and helps you stay connected 24-7. That's why you need Quo. And forget voicemail. Forget it. Quo is built in AI agent. 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That's SPACE80, S-P-A-C-E-A-D to match with the licensed therapist today. Go to talkspace.com slash bad friends and enter promo code SPACE80. My mother gets murdered. Your mother gets murdered and you call me and you go, dude, we need to take care of this guy. I have already, already I wouldn't do that. You wouldn't call me? No witnesses. You wouldn't. No connection. I don't want to connect you to the crime. If somebody hurt your mother, I would. You would never help me, dude. What are you talking about? Is that real? You really believe that? Murder? I don't. I'm not a friend. I wouldn't want you an accessory to murder. Well if your mom is dead and you're going to go on a hunt to kill this person, this show's over so I might as well fucking don't fit. It's not over because I'm going to get away with it. You're never going to get away with it. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to Google it. They don't. Check GVT hit. You're going to end up like David. No, I'm David, no. You're going to end up just like David. I'm going to do one step ahead of David. Really? He can dance. Yeah, yeah. You have no steps. He's got steps. Yeah, yeah. Give me what you're going to do then. The guy that you go to kill. Some random guy? Here's what happened. Your mom was playing Pygow and she took the table. She's good at Pygow. She's killer at Pygow. And there's a guy that- Well then I have some questions. Huh. Is it an underground tournament? No, no, no. This is public. It's at Talking Stick, the casino right near your mom's house. She's at the Talking Stick. She's by herself? She's in a room at a Pygow table. It's late at night. There's two or three people at the table. Who are the people that are on the table? There's a short little tiny black guy who's really good in his- Can he be Puerto Rican? There's a short little tiny Puerto Rican guy who's really good. He's in his mid-sexties. Now it's fun. Now it's fun. He's divorced. The second guy. Okay. Then there's another man there, a mysterious man. White. Got to be. A white guy who just moved to Arizona. He has an underdeveloped hand. Both of his hands? No, just one of them. One of his hands is a claw hand. Not just claw. It's just like a nub with just two fingers. Two fingers. Like peace. They call him peace. Because every time he weighs, people think he's doing the peace. Yeah, peace, man. But he's just saying hi and bye. Okay, I like it. I like it. He's got one leg much longer than the other one, so it's hard for him to- Whoa. Yeah, he kind of walks. He does a little- Wow. Well, he's got good rhythm to be honest. Yeah. Yeah. That's why he's the peace guy. He can see this guy coming, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The two fingers. You can hear his shoe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so this guy has it out for your mom because she's killing the table. He's got his mortgage on the line. He loses it. He's waiting out for your mom by the car. He's smoking a cigarette. Oh, my God. And he thinks, I'm going to rob her because she killed it tonight. She made $50,000 cash. So he's- This is making me so angry already. He tries to rob your mom, but he acts- Oh, my God, this makes me so angry. I know. What are you going to do? Oh, my God. Well, I'm setting you up. What do you do now? Did she die? Yeah. How? He pushed her. She fell. Oh, that's it? She's 100 years old. Oh, yeah. Okay. And then so how do I know about it? It breaks on the news in Arizona and in elderly. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. W456, welcome back to the evening hour tonight. A woman was killed out at Talking Stick. This is me watching it. An elderly Chinese woman was killed tonight at Talking Stick after playing Pai Gao. Her name? Pai-bim-bam. Pai-bim-bam. That's good. That's good. She was killed in the parking lot of the Talking Stick casino. This is the suspect on the run. Photo up. You see where he is. He's somewhere in rural Northern Arizona. What's the photo look like? He's leaning. Well, it's peace. We know what he looks like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a guy from the North West and Flagstaff Northern Arizona. His name is Doug Pease McGovern. Doug Pease McGovern. If you have any information about him, please call the Arizona hotline. First thing I would do is call my brother. Not you. Wow. Because you're not going to help me murder. I think you're grossly underestimating what I would do for you. I really think you are. But I bet that's fine. All right, all right, all right. No, no, don't change your fucking- I'll call you. If you don't want my help when you kill somebody, don't fucking call me. Go to prison with me because we could do the Podden prison. Really bad friends. Bad friends live from LA County jail. Yeah, yeah. And in the middle of the show, some guys are like, you boys ready for lunch? I'm like, yes, sir. Yeah. I call you. Ding, ding, ring, ring. Hey, Bob. What's going on? Are you okay? My mother was murdered. My mother was murdered. Your mother was murdered? Yeah. It was a son-kate to you, whatever. Oh my God. I'm so sorry. I think his name is Peace McGovern or something. Are you telling me Peace McGovern did this? How do you fuck do you know Peace McGovern did? He killed my mother. That's it. I'm coming over. Yeah, what did he do to your mother? Oh, yeah, I remember. I hung up. I know. But whenever you hang up- He's talking to the dial-talk. I keep talking. No, I keep talking because you hang up too early. I do. And I want to keep talking. Yeah. I spend hours after you hang up. I hang up so fast on everybody, I always love to hang up fast. Listen, what are you doing now? You're calling your brother. Be real. You call your brother. I call my brother and my brother already is going to be livid, like out of his mind. Yeah, of course, somebody murdered your mom. I got to pick me up. He picked me up. We'll go straight to Arizona. You're going to drive or fly? If the cops can't find him, how am I going to find him? Do you have to take revenge on your own hands? Have you never seen Taken? Have you never seen- Yeah, but I don't know how to do any of that. I show up to this crime scene in the back of what? Chopsticks casino? What is it? Chopsticks casino. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm wandering around and there's the yellow tape. Yeah. You know, my brother and I have flashlights. You come- Well, the lights are on. But I mean, you can have flashlights if you want. We have to have flashlights. Well, the lights are on. I have to have a pad. You should have a pad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A legal notepad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm dressed like- You right now, you're not changing clothes. No, I have to change. You do? Yeah. No, I have to change like Sherlock Holmes. Like 17th century English attire. Beautiful. Hello. Hello. I'm here. You know what I mean? We have notes, flashlights, and then it's like, what am I- I don't have the technology to get fingerprints. That. Let's say that you did find him. Okay, good. How do you kill him? Guy that kills your mom. Okay, good. How do you find him? We find out his address. Well, how do you kill him? Oh my God. What do you do? Well, first of all, I'm going to have to have a conversation with my brother. You can use that Chinese water torture kit I bought. Finally, that will come to use. I would say to my brother, Steve, all right, I know you're going to- I don't know why you have the machete, but I got- We want to torture him. Yeah, you got to slowly torture him. Don't just go swinging. No. You know what I mean? No. So what we'll do is we'll- I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll capture him. Yeah, you got him. I'm going to rent a warehouse somewhere. You live in Arizona. That's a big- I mean, right now the prices are through the roof, but yeah, it's fine. I would spend every dollar that I have. How many square feet are we talking in this warehouse? I don't know about square feet, but probably 500 by nine. 500 feet by nine feet. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's a odd layout. Nero. But I do like it. It's very narrow. It's a very long- It's a long hallway. 500 by nine is a long hallway. Yeah, because there's going to be a lot of running. Back up forward. Oh, you're going to make him run back and forth. This is actually very smart. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So- 500 by nine. 500 by nine. Please draw this up. This torture chamber that's 500 feet by nine feet. Also actually very intelligent because the 500 looks like there's hope down the road. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the nine feet is all- You know what I mean? Yeah. So he's got a little bit of space. Well, no, but the 500 fluctuates. Get shorter as we- No, it's like one of those- Remember, like in Star Wars, the trash can machine- Oh, the- Yeah. It closes in. Yeah. Like that. That's what kind of looks like. Yeah, yeah, it closes in and out. That would give you nightmares. Yeah. Like a long- Neon lights, no windows out. And so what we'll have at the very end of that hallway, right, is a surgical table. Oh, a surgical table. I'm going to- what? I don't get it yet, but I'm- A surgical table. I didn't get it, so I was like, ooh, yeah, that's good. Why is that there? Yeah. No, I'm no doctor. Right? Neither. But I will hire a black market, right, surgeon, okay? Sure. And what we're gonna- I'm gonna say to this guy, I go, I'm gonna pay you $1 million. What? You have a million bucks to do what? You'll see. Oh, all right. Right, we're gonna knock him out, right, and we're gonna give him female genitalia. Oh. All right. For free. For free. What? For free. For free. Yeah. But he probably doesn't want it. Maybe he does. How funny he wakes up, he's like, perfect. Yeah. That's exactly what I needed. Wow. I've been gambling so I can get the surgery. This is the only reason I gambled with you. I should have killed your mom. Well, I'm glad I killed your mom because now I get this. Now I have what I want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you gonna remove his genitals? I think you make him genital list as a whole. He has nothing. Like a Barbie thing. He has Barbies at Kendall. Right. Or you can put anything as a genital replacement. What could you put in place? Or it's, no, that's good, but you know what's worse? You give him no openings. Right. Oh, I just- Stitch him up. So the pee and the poo, it just gathers inside his body. Stitch him up. Like a hole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just bloats into this poo pee. It's a good horror movie. Yeah. Stitch him up at the beginning of Bethany. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We have to force feed him. Well, yeah, tube and you blend it. To the throat. Right. Right. Tube, the white throat. Can you imagine this doctor's like- They have to grind up- You guys got me doing way too much. The doctor's like- No, he'll leave. After the surgery- I'm a black market doctor, but I have other stuff to do. Just, this is what I would say to him. Dr. Mamalalo. Yeah, Mamalalo. Yeah, Mamalalo. Dr. Mamalalo. Dr. Mamalalo. What is he from? What? Dr. Mamalalo. Somewhere in the Eastern or Northern region. I'll tell you that right now. Somewhere northeast. From a different place. Dr. Mamalalo. Yeah, yeah. And I say, just put the tube in. I know you did the bottom surgery. Thank you for that. Thank you so much. Here's the money, right? Just put the tube in. Just let me know how to put the food into the tube. How funny when it breaks, you have to call them. You're like, Dr. Mamalalo. The tube is disconnected. You're gonna have to come back to that. Yeah. And so then once he leaves and then my brother and I for like a week would just be feeding him and watching him blow. Until he pops. Eventually he's gonna pop. He'll pop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're gonna film the pop and put it on IG? Yeah, TikTok, yeah. Yeah, TikTok that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what do you think of that? I think it's a great torture. And I would support you. Unfortunately, I mean- All right, let's go to you now. If somebody killed my mom. Can I give you the scenario? Go for it. I know you're already building one up. Right. You're your stepdad's out of town. Yeah. Business trip. Yeah, well, he's retired, but yeah, I got it. He goes back. He gets, he unretires. Yeah, he unretires. He gets a job. He can't refuse. What is the job? What is the job? What are you doing? It's some sort of repair job. I know he's not good at that. He loves repair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like a plumbing, lighting, electrical. Big electrical guy. Yeah, it's a bunch of stuff. And they're like, we'll give you 500 grand. Jump out. One day of work will fly you out for his class. Wow, gotta do it. But here's the tick-hicker. Uh-oh. It's not even real. It's the killer luring your stepdad away. It's a ruse. It's a ruse. Wow. He shows him Louisville Airport, right? No one's there to pick him up. Right. Meanwhile, your mom's alone at the house. Oh, no. Yeah. And there's a man that comes in. What is he doing? He's doing, he's dancing. I'll tell you that. He dances into the house. I'm so sorry to say. It's pretty bold. He does like a MC Hammer dance. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And he has a tomahawk. Ooh. Is he native or is this? No. Oh, this really is. He's not from dances with wolves. Very disrespectful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very disrespectful. Right. That's cultural appropriation. Cultural appropriate murder. Yeah, yeah. Cultural inappropriate murder. Right. And he unfortunately throws the tomahawk at your mom's leg. Just slides the butt off. She's screaming. Then he makes a makeshift tourniquet. Oh, no. And then so she doesn't bleed out. Oh, he helps her. Just to do more torture. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then he has some sort of medieval mallet. My guy just pushed your mom down. Your mom just broke her hip and died in the parking garage at Talking Stove. Oh, I'm sorry. Jesus, get it over with. All right. Just let me do one last part. No. All right. Anyway, mallet, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop by the head. Anyway. Um, so then you get a call from the. Um. Chicago cops. Hey. Hey, we found a murderer over there your mother's house. What would you do your fatter's out of town. We got to go. No. We got dinner. What would you do? Oh. I mean, would I definitely would take it into my own hands if anybody heard anybody in my family. You would. It'd be. If you caught the guy. What would you let's just get to catch. So catch. You got to catch first. You can't kill. Cause kill is too weak. You got to catch the guy. So I'd cut off his feet. Oh, that's always a good one. Little nubby guy. Yeah, yeah. And then every single day goes by, I'd cut off each finger. So each finger slowly gets cut off. Can I have all the limbs? Yeah, I'll save them for you. Arch-Crafts. Yeah, yeah. Bobby's waiting on a FedEx. He's like, Andrew's FedEx is still not here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did two day. Why would you ship me limbs two day? I didn't, same day was expensive. Oh, so packing a nice. And then, and here's what I do. Cut off his little thing. Oh, packing a nice. I cut off his little, cut off a finger a day, cut off his feet. So he's got nubbies. And then eyes, eyes gone. That's always good. Eyes absolutely gone. How do you put them out? With a spoon? Ooh, hot spoon, hot stove spoon? That's good. Hot stove spoon. Hot stove spoon. Hot stove spoon. Scoop it right out. Scoop them out. Do you want the eyes or should I throw them away? Keep the eyes. Keep, I'll keep the eyes. I keep the eyes. Hot, hot, hot, oh, an ice cream scoop. Ice cream scoopers better. It's perfect. And then you fill it with pistachio ice cream. Each of his eyes has pistachio ice cream. Just throwing it out there. Well, in case I get some. Maybe Rocky Road pistachio. Right. Oh my God. So good. And then. You know, he'd be freaking me out. What the fuck? You have in? And then I have a tattoo. It would drip. It would be so itchy and sticky. And just the coldness of the ice cream in his sockets. And you can't itch it out because his nubs can't. And then I have to cut out his tongue. So he really can't say much. Keep the tongue. Nope, cut it gone. He can't say anything. And here's what I do. Ship that. I'm shipping the tongue. And then I'm gonna get a tattoo artist. One of the best in the world. I'm gonna get like Dr. Wu or somebody incredible. Yeah. You know? Kef-Aun-D maybe. Sure, Kef-Aun-D. Yeah. And they're gonna tattoo all over his chest in an unbelievable amount of racial epithets. Like, you know, like a swastika, the N-word all over him. Just like the most foul stuff all over his body. I hate blacks. Right on his chest. You could go further. You can. And then I'm gonna drop him off like in Die Hard. Right, just like that. So he has no way to speak or walk or tell everybody what's going on. And I'm gonna drop him off in the middle of the worst neighborhood in the world that I can find and let them eat him alive slowly but surely. Oh. I'll never make it out. But I'm also not killing him. And here's why. Why? Because you want someone to be able to have vengeance because then that's a good movie. That's a good second movie. If he comes back for me, now it's a film. Well, he has no eyes. They thought they killed me. And there's no nubs on his feet. I know. They thought they killed me. I keep revenge. Imagine if you take that. The Tonglass. Yeah. And he comes back for me. Yeah. That's another, that's a second movie. Yeah. Like Old Boy. Just like Old Boy. Just like Old Boy. Wow. What's a good idea, dude? We got really dark and deep there. I'm so sorry. Me too. I hope no one ever hurts anybody that we love. No. But we'll never do that. But we will kill you if you mess with our mom. Yeah, just, I think people could relate. I think that's a no go. Your mom is the one. You can't touch the mom. Dad, fine. Dad's, yeah, dad's. I know. Yeah. No, no one. Sibling is bad too. But just something about your mom, because it's your mom. Oh my, my mom. It's your mommy. Oh my, the helplessness. It's gonna be my mom's 80. And she's just laying there, you know what I mean? All alone. Oh my God, it makes me so anxious. Oh, there she is. Oh, there she is. The sweet, sweet lady. Yes, what a sweet lady. Okay, good. Put it. Hold on, pull that up again. Is there two cameras taking pictures of her? What do you mean? She's looking one way and then the other way. I feel like there was just camera. She didn't know which camera to look at is what it kinda looked like. Can I tell you something? So one camera was dead, and the other one was to the left. Can I tell you something? This is something you don't know, and I can call your mom at, right? So when my mom was. All right. Can I, be honest? You started that whole war three years ago. So my mother, when she was seven or eight years old, right, she had chronic pneumonia, okay? She got pneumonia all the time. No, but she had this one sickness where her left eye, the pupil went all the way, so you couldn't even see it. It wouldn't even, the pupil went out of it. It fucked her up by her face so bad she went, her eye went into her fucking. What? Yeah, it was like that when she moved to America, but also growing up in Korea. That's why it's the best country in the world. They're fixed now almost. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so when she, as a kid, was teased and bullied because of that eye. She was? Yeah, yeah, like chronically, it was bad. Well, thanks, I'm glad it's not the crux of the show. And then let me finish, right? She comes to America and my dad had a little bit of money and when she met him, he got that eye fixed, right? He said, I'm gonna fix your eye. Yeah, so that's now the result of it. You can make fun of her all you want. I do, yeah. I know, but you know. Well, you make fun of me too. You make fun of my mom too. Yeah, but your mom's perfect. That's exactly right. Yeah. No, your mom got it all fixed out and I'm glad that it. No, but you still make fun of her eye. I have to. Well, I have to, it's insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to. I'm mommy mom all the time. But in fact, I go out in public, probably 10 times a day that's been mentioned. And then you gotta go, ha ha ha, right? But your face is not really that happy. Your eye, look at that, you're like, ha ha ha, good. I get it, I get it every day. I didn't know when I- That's not your mom. By proxy it is. And I love her so, I love her dearly. Yeah, anyway. I can't believe you never told me that story about your mom's eye. Unless it's fucking bullshit. It's not bullshit, that's real. You do bullshit stuff like that. It's 100% real that that happened. I mean, it's very traumatic for her. Well, it's terrible then. Why didn't you say that when we started joking about it years ago? Because we're a comedy show and I thought you meant well. But now you keep digging and digging. I did dig. He brings up the photo. Well, he did that. Yeah, yeah, you're like, look at that eye one way and I'm just telling you. Well, we love your mother. I'm the one that flew her out to see you. Yeah. Bringing a student. Let's see if we got a student that we wanna chat with. Rocket money. Rocket money. One of the subscriptions that we had you cancel through this company is actually very laughable. I had oatmeal. An oatmeal subscription. Yeah, I swear to God. This is coming to your house. I had oatmeal coming for months. Like nine months in a row. Stack, right? And I had to go to Rocket Money. And that's where I found the discrepancy. The discrepancies. That's right. Yeah. Well, you need it because Rocket Money, Rocket Money's incredible. 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That's Bad Friends today. That's rocketmoney.com. Slash Bad Friends. Rocketmoney.com. Slash Bad Friends. True Classic. You know when you look the sexiest? What? Tell me. When you're wearing true classic. True classic is, it could be so good. Honestly, some of my favorite shirts that I own are from True Classic. And I mean that genuinely. There's comfortable and they're well priced. And the best part about True Classic is you can wear them everywhere. I wear them to meetings. I can wear them when we're filming something. I can wear them here. You can wear them everywhere. And that's why they're so nice and sleek and comfortable. And they're very affordable, which is nice. And clearly people agree because people vote with their dollars and True Classic has sold over 25 million shirts to more than five million customers and racking up over 200,000 five star reviews. That's so many people. That's so good. People do vote with their dollars. So the shirts fit like they should. 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You want to talk closer into the mic and put, you want the earphones on or? Yeah. This is Quinnipiac, isn't it? Quinnipiac. Quinnipiac, would you go to Quinnipiac for media studies or something? Film. Film. Yeah, you want to be a director? No. Okay. Actress? No, keep guessing. Producer? No. Rigger? No, keep going. What'd you call her? A rigger, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, what, you can't? Rigger, you don't know a rigger as you riggs? You don't know a fucking rigger? Yeah. A grip? No. You want to be, oh, I know, I do know. What? Wardrobe. No. Makeup. Make hair. You guys are missing like the other big one. I feel like you're getting- Producer, writer, director, actor. Editor. Editor. Huh? Editor. Editor. Oh my, that was a good one. It's funny because we don't value them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's- You want to edit things. That's awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're the best. So you don't mind being locked up in a small dark room? No, I prefer it. I like when they like, everyone goes on set and they like deal with all the chaos and then they send it to me and then I sit by myself and I do it. You like that? You like fixing things? I prefer that, yeah. What's your name? Emma. Emma is here. You're from Connecticut? I'm from Boston. Boston, Massachusetts. Boston, Connecticut. Boston, Connecticut. She goes from Boston, but goes to Quinnipiac in Connecticut. Which we visited your beautiful campus. Yes, it's lovely. It's a nice, yeah. That's all right. What do you think of LA? What do you think of LA? So Emma, you, have you gone to any nice restaurants? Have you experienced LA at all in a fun way? Like yes, but no, we've explored downtown a lot. We've gone to all the touristy areas and my internship is in Beverly Hills. So like that's the only nice part that I've seen. Didn't I give one of your students money so they can have dinner? Yeah, that's what they keep coming. I think I might do that tonight. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They keep coming because they know- As a group, they should. They know you might give them money. Yeah, yeah. So the dream is to be an editor and you know that this guy edits this show, this little The Fancy, and he does a very good job. Do you, have you ever seen this show before? I've seen parts of it, yeah. Yeah, parts of it. That means TikTok. I'm not, yes. I know what that means. That means TikTok. We're big with kids on TikTok. Yeah, it's like, I don't have the attention span to watch like- Anything, really. Watching the pieces. Right, well you're an editor, so you spend time watching other shit. Exactly. I'm the same too. I don't watch whole things. Included in this show. You watch- I've never seen this show. But that's not, you do watch whole things. You watch films all the time. Yeah, but if I'm not a part of it, I'll watch it. Right, she's not a part of this. The fuck are you talking about? Yeah, but- Young people her age don't watch anything anymore now. Yeah. Okay. They don't like it. You don't watch film. I like, I do, but I feel like films are getting longer. See? Oh my God. They don't wanna watch anything. What are you talking about? They're actually probably getting shorter. I bet you like- They're shorter. They feel like they're getting shorter. I feel like the popular ones lately have been- Have you seen Dr. Javago? That's like four hours long. They're getting, statistically, they're getting longer on average. Oh wow, you're right. I'm not the only one. It's not like I have ADHD, but it's not just me. Well, look at that. Everyone's losing- They were around 90 minutes in the 30s, and then it went up to about 130 minutes peaked out in the 60s, then it dipped in the 80s and the 90s, which I love, the 90, 90 minute, you know, whatever the, and back in the 90s, the comedies that were 100 minutes, perfect, you know? But they are peaking, yeah. But then right now we're peaking, no, we're kind of on average. We're actually going back down, technically. Yeah. So boo-hoo. Sit around, do enjoy a movie. I do enjoy it. What's the last movie you saw? I feel like the group of us watched something recently. Oh, we watched Pitch Perfect, which is not- Brand new movie just came out 15 years ago. Emma, Pitch Perfect? Well, it was on cable. We have like the TVs in our rooms. This is gonna make me sad. She's gonna keep telling me how awful this place is. It's awful. It sounds like a prison. It's nice. You guys have no money. Well, we're gonna rub it in. Well, I'm in a country of internship right now. They're 20 years old, they're in school, yeah. I don't remember, so like you have a bank account? Yeah. Okay, do your parents help you? Do I have a bank account? I don't know what the fucking deal is, dude. Sorry for swearing. She has a bank account. Okay. She can swear. Do you ever call your parents like I need money? No. And they never give you money? They like will offer it sometimes, but I don't like to take it. Well, you're one of them. Are you making your own money now? Yeah. You are. I mean, at this exact moment, no, because my internship's unpaid, Unpaid internship was always the biggest scam of all time of Hollywood. We all did it, but it's insane. Yeah, I do. They're like, you do the same amount of work, but you don't get any of the money. And you're like, when do I get the money? They're like, if we wanna give it to you, that's crazy. McCone's been on an unpaid internship for a couple of years now. That's pretty wild. Do you enjoy working for them? Yeah. Are you cutting or you're prepping and stuff? What are you doing? No, I'm doing a lot of interneed duties, which is like running the social media and stuff, but they're letting me work on giving feedback on the trailers and stuff. It's really good. It's worth it to have the experience. It's just hard living in LA because it's so expensive to not be making money. Yeah. Do you see yourself living here? No. Or New York? So you're gonna go to New York? She's a East Coast kid. You're East Coast. I like it here. I wouldn't stay here long term. I'd live here for like a couple of years. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah. I like being with them. Yeah, exactly. What? Yes. People, from the East Coast, they're so delusional and crazy. Can I, let me make my piece here. Oh yeah. All right. It is the best city in the world, I believe. Yeah, I don't think it's the best city in the world. What do you think it is? Madrid? What's the best city in the world? Madrid's pretty great. What, in the United States? Well, that's not the world. Okay, let's just. Best city in the US? Yeah. New York's up there. New York is way up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chicago is way up there. Yeah. New York's beautiful. All right. Look at that Chicago. Chicago's good. Look at how gorgeous that is. The weather. The weather is the best here. Yeah. San Francisco should not be on there. Look at all that poop. It's poop. San Francisco's still great. No, I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's poop island. Great restaurants, but LA, I just, I can't, you'll never move. I can't, you won't let me. I want to. I know. You're staying here. It's the hardest thing in the world. Whenever I said this the other day to my wife, whenever you fly here, when you're coming back from the East Coast, and you get to Colorado, they're like, it's gonna be bumpy over the Rockies. It always is. And then they go, all right, strap in your seatbelts. And we've got about two hours left. You're like two fucking hours? Yeah. We just did two hours. We gotta do it again? Yeah. We're too far. That's my biggest problem with this place. It's way too far. Not from Hawaii, five hours. It's far from everyone. Okay. All of the country is that way. Everybody's that way. Not my people. You don't, I'm your people. Hawaii, dude. Have you been to Hawaii? No, I haven't. Have you ever been on a nice vacation? Yeah. With your parents? Yeah. Where'd you guys go? Puerto Rico, I would say is the best event. It's an island of garbage. That was really dead on. That's it. You know who that was? It was a comic 20s that he joked around and called it an island of garbage during the, what was that? I don't even know what that was. It was a rally. It was a rally. He called it an island of garbage. It was a joke. But it was at the Island of Garg. That was the square garden. That was the square garden. Yeah. Hulk Hogan was on it. Jove, Jove, island of garbage, brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what your dream is to become an editor, have a family maybe one day? I do. Well, you're 21, so life is so bright now. There's nothing getting, she's so free. I wish you could like, you know what I mean? Like borrow people's, younger people's blood. You stick around Hollywood long enough, you'll just, you'll get it. Just give you a couple more extra years. That's why everybody's getting kicked off the air cause they're all blood drinkers. They're all blood drinkers. I love that that's like a real thing. I know. That people rumored this that they're like, they're drinking blood of babies. Yeah. I've run into people that said that. That's what the Hollywood Reservoir is filming. I know there's a cabal, and you guys are a part of a cult. I go, really? Mild. And they go, but, and I always ask, am I in it? They're like, no, I don't think you're in it. Right? Right. Then I go, then I'll ask like, but what about so and so? No. But then you get to a point like, what about Bill Burr? And they're like, uh. Cause he's that famous? Yeah. But I'm like, yeah, he would never do that. That's what you think. Dude, baby blood is warm. Baby fucking warm baby blood. Dude, I sit down for me. These guys give me fucking warm baby blood at noon. Do you know who Bill Burr is? Yeah, that was- Do you like stand up comedy? Yeah, I watch his and mine's. I, we saw your show. That was really good. What show? At the comedy store. Oh, you guys went to a live show. Yeah. Oh, they came to the main room. Oh, you guys saw that? Yeah, it was awesome. Who was not good? I don't want to say that. Yeah, yeah. But, we'll bleep it out. Don't make her feel that way. All right. Dax Flame was so good. We loved it. That was hilarious. I didn't see it coming. Emma, so we know your dreams. We know your hopes. Yeah. You're 21 and you're living in the, arguably the most uncomfortable part of Los Angeles. In terms of walking around at night, you don't feel safe. Do you? No. I don't walk around at night. Yeah. We just met, but I really do. The things I have seen being here just like, what, it's been two weeks, maybe three. Yeah, it's crazy. And like, I'll look out on my balcony. Like I saw, like I saw some, someone with one leg like throwing scooters at people. Oh, that's Caleb. Yeah, Caleb. I love that guy. He's actually very sweet. Yeah. There was a guy kind of near here that throws e-bikes into the LA river. Yeah. And then the fire department was there yesterday and I talked to the guy. And I talked to the firefighter. I was like, what are you guys doing? And they had a hose out and they were training by, they were, he was doing hose training exercises, like unplugging and plugging. And they were shooting into the LA river. And I go, what are you guys doing? And he goes, training. And I go, what's up with all those bikes? He goes, dude, the more we take out, the more they keep putting in. So we're not doing it anymore. Wow. Because these homeless guys, they throw, they find them and they throw them in the fucking LA river. Yeah, look, that's them. They just, dude, they just huck them over the side. Like scooters and stuff? E-bike scooters. They'll throw fuck. Why? Because they're homeless and they're upset and they're, yeah, right there, right there by Frogtown. Wow. Dude, it's, I, literally the firefighter was like, we stopped taking them out. Cause we would have to take them out. It's a pain. And then the next day there'd be four more in there. Wow. There's a homeless taking a stand against e-bikes. He had no leg? Yeah, he only had one leg. He was in a wheelchair. I don't know how he was throwing them. He was throwing them far too. He was throwing them like at people. He didn't reach them. They didn't reach them, but. They got good strength, those one legers. Just like the guy that murdered your mom. Peace. That guy was a bad boy. Maybe this could be the same guy. Maybe. Also, there's a robot that's been stuck in my neighborhood. They weren't allowed forever. You know the ones that self deliver? I love those guys. They all have names. Yeah. This one's Kenny. Oh, Kenny. And he's been stuck at a light pole in my neighborhood. And I don't know what to do, but I, but honestly the sun is roasting him all day. Yeah. And it's dying now. The light was dying on it. Oh no, like Wally. It is like Wally, dude. It is like Wally. Good. I love the eyes that they put in. Well, look, it helps. And they blink. Yeah, they blink. They do blink, yeah, yeah, yeah. The eyes are slowly dying. I can tell it's dying. And I want to help it. And I always say hi. I don't know why. Yeah, you say hello. I just let them go in front of me. Yeah, me too. And I go, hi. I like how they stop really abruptly when they don't know what's in front of me. And I always go, I'm sorry. Like it doesn't fucking know. No, it does know. You think it does? Well, it's recording everything at all times. That someone, someone's watching back some of that footage. I don't like those things. I put shit in front of them or juke them out. You're a fucking ass. They're taking jobs from real people. No, they're not, dude. You don't have to tip them. He's robots out here. Someone had to program it, fix it, upkeep, that's three jobs, right? And that last 50 people delivery jobs. You're an oppressor. You're an oppressor. No, that's how they felt. Robots are oppressing us. When immigrants started coming to America, they viewed it like that. That's not an immigrant. That's code. That's code. Immigrants are the big job. How is that not an immigrant? Yeah, yeah. Does he have a sense of- One thing that's gonna be a sentient being. His name is Jay. He's not an immigrant. It's Jaime. Imagine if ice starts busting these boxes. Yeah. Today ice takes down Jaime. Jaime. Please no, just delivering food. Please, please, please, please. Nice try, Jaime. But you know- I'm the fucking grouch. Pfft. Shooting that thing up. Yeah. Bad. Are there Waymo's in Boston? No, I've never seen one till I came to LA. No, when you saw one, people don't know a Waymo is a driver- Self driver, driverless car. It's Uber without a driver. It's a car, it just drives you. They suck. Did it shock you when you saw it or not? It did, I saw them at first and I just thought they were like weird looking cars and then I looked in and there's no one in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know the bad news about this, right? Cause we're Valley Boys, we live here on the valley. Yeah. They're coming to the fucking valley by next year. But you know- They're mapping it out right now, so it's happening. I wanted it only in the city, fine. What's up with your fucking shit against oppressing fucking robots? Taking jobs from people. I was a driver, I was a FedEx driver. I support drivers and the working man. Yeah, you're the working man. You quit after like a month and a half. How long did you do it? Well, I worked till I got my unpaid internship and I had to take on my FedEx savings and drive out here with the same car. Let's go back to Emma. I'm not a- Emma, do you like a guy like Kony as close in your age? Is this kind of guy, someone, if you saw him, would you trust him at a party? Would you go, I like this guy, he seems trustworthy? If you saw him. I mean, do you want honesty on him? Yeah, yeah, yeah, well- The mustache is always a little- The mustache is always- It's always a little iffy. Yeah, right. But so far you seem fine. But the mustache at Glansko, what do you think? You think, perv, abuser? Not specifically him, it's just the idea of that specific mustache. But he is wearing it. I'm not known for that. Right. Is he cute? Yeah, yeah. Okay, wow. Yeah, she has to. Yeah, I do. Why? Because we're here. It's, you know what I mean, she just wanna hurt his feeling. Okay, okay. I think you are cute, cause I've had girls say, McCone's cute. Thank you, Emma. I appreciate you, but I don't wanna fuck you. Don't give him anything. Thank you, Emma. Thank you, Emma. You're the best. Thank you. Give it up for Emma. Give Emma a round of applause. Send in another victim. Let's see somebody else. Emma, I hope you make it. I know you will. You're gonna be a great editor. You're gonna make it, you're gonna make it. Yeah. By the way, if we need more editors, right? Yep. When she comes out here, if we need one. Well, you don't wanna move to LA. Hey, I can edit remote, and I'm willing. We could, we seriously could use her if we need her for something. All right, we'll talk to you, Emma. Okay, Emma, thank you. We need a guy. Oh, look at this guy. Oh, shit. We're getting two? Two, yeah, we have two for one. Two for one. Two for one. Good. All right, we're gonna guess their names based on their appearance. All right. The guy's name is, he looks Eastern European, right? Yeah. Yeah. He does look Eastern European, and his name is? Tocque. Tocque. Tocque. T-O-K-E, Tocque. You're Tocque, dude. Okay. And this young lady looks, Yeah, yeah. He looks like just an East Coast girl. Willow. Willow, Willow. Willow, or Willow? Or, oh. Willow. Willow with the W. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what's your real name? Ben. Close. Ben. Yeah, yeah. And your name? Sam. Sam. I was close. Sam and, Sam and, what's your name? Ben. No, Tocque. I like Tocque. Tocque, yeah. All right, Tocque and Willow are here. Willow, yeah, yeah. And you guys are Quinnipiac, how old are you guys? I'm 21. 21, same. And then you guys are in the graduate program. What do you wanna do, Tocque? I wanna find like stable income. I gotta be cool. Oh, fuck, these kids. These kids these days, they wanna work. It's a tough job market. I know I was being facetious. Yeah, no, it is very hard. I'm saying. I'm just trying to be, I was playing into it. I'm just trying to get Ben, you know. No, no, Tocque. I get Ben. All I've been told is it's hard to get a job. And how has it been? I've just had internships. What are you doing in the world of film? I'm with Seven Eccles right now. Oh, you work with us? I do. What do you do? You're interning? Yeah, I'm interning there. I'm like Richie. I saw he was on the podcast of the day. Don't get any ideas, Tocque. You have thin fingers, I like that. Thank you. Is that like a good thing? It could be. If you're Chopin. Are yours? Yeah, yeah. No. We need you to pick a lock or something. Yeah, yeah. And how about you Willow, what do you aspire to be and do? I've enjoyed producing. That's been a lot of work. I'm gonna produce her. Yeah. You kind of have a producer vibe. Give a producer vibe. You know why? Cause she's even keeled. She's got that very like balance. Anybody can stop doing it. But not a good one, like Kathleen Kennedy. Oh, really? Oh, yeah, like a whip. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My way or the highway? Secretly, she's insane. Yeah, right now it hasn't flourished yet, but you're going to be a bull. Okay. I'll take it. You got you. Do you have bully inside of you? Can you be mean? Look at that face. I ruined Star Wars. I think I've raised my voice at someone once. Like not including like my brothers, cause of course, but yeah, no, I don't like confrontation. So I'm gonna have to get over that. We're gonna learn. All right. So you and I are working. You're a producer. Him and I are on a film set. You have to be, you have to scold us. Scold you. He's a lighting guy, right? And I'm, and we're behind schedule. And I'm sound. He's lighting. And we're just chilling. No, we're just in the back alley. We're hanging. We're smoking, you know what I mean? You eat, you eat, you eat trees. Yeah. Rafe's selling that mud pie. Selling that mud pie. Man. Excuse me guys. Yeah, what's up? What's up, what's up lady? Sorry to bother you. What's up woman? We don't have any more cigarettes man. Yeah, yeah, yeah man. That's my last one. You guys are done now. If that's okay, we're gonna go back inside. We're gonna do our job and we're gonna have a great day. What? What? Yeah. Who are you? Who are you? I'm the producer. What, what producer? I don't know. We can serve this film. Oh, for the movie we're gonna. Yes, yes. Top dog, top hire. So I'm gonna need you guys to come back now. Top dog, that's you? Yep, that's me. Oh. It's nice to meet you guys, but we gotta get back in there. Yeah, well, you know, I don't know. Hey lady, can I just say something? Please. Skip. Yeah, thank you. We'll get there when we get there. Yeah, we'll get to it. I have your paycheck, so if you want that you're gonna have to come with me. Oh, you're exporting us? Oh, you're exporting us. Oh, you're threatening us. Okay, all right. I get it. I could do all day, but you guys want your job. We can do this all day too, lady. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty good. I gotta go inside, man. You should be more stern though. That was good. Yeah, I'm gonna have to work on it. This is a great practice. Because you gotta do it like you gotta talk like you're one of us. So like, look, I'll be the executive. You be smoking, you know? No, it's just you. I'll show you. Can Ben be in it? Yeah, Toc can be in it. Toc, you're in it. You and Toc together. I wanna show you what to do. All right, you guys, you're out back and you're on smoke break. Hey, Toc. Yeah, what's up, Bobby? Fuck this project. That's what I'm saying. Right? It sucks. Okay, who is the jigg, chill on hall. Hey boys, hey guys, guys, guys, guys. How are you? What's up, man? We're smoking. Oh, I know, I know. I love smoking. Smoking's rad, huh? Yeah. Yeah, it's fucking awesome. Yeah, man. Now you wanna smoke everywhere all the time? Yeah, we do. And we also, we also want our privacy. Me too. You back up. Tell me about it. Right, Toc? Tell me about it. I told you to stand up for yourself, Toc. Toc. Tell him off. Toc, that's his name? Yeah, Toc. Toc, you're fired. Bobby, I'm gonna need you back inside now or you're fired as well. Are you fired? Yeah, I fired. You see how quickly he got fired? Why are you, why are you, why are you fired? Why are you fucking round? You see how that's how you do it? That's how you do it. Yeah, you just do a bully him. Yeah. And you got it in you. Okay. All right, so bully us now. Really fucking hit us hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want you to fucking sm- Just make fun of us. I'm not about that though. You have to. You have to, you're Kathleen Kennedy. You're KK. Let me say something. This movie is $300 million. $500 million. $500 million, right? We're behind schedule. No. Tom Holland's waiting on set. No. Yeah, also who else is it? Okay, this is this movie. And Tom Holland. Tom Holland and, Tom Holland's a heart. And what's the kid from fucking, I don't know anybody's names. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Zendaya. Zendaya and Timothy Chalamet. And Chalamet. They've been waiting for days. We're camera operators. Right, we're ops. We're supposed to be on it. We're supposed to be shooting. Aren't you guys excited about this though? So we're not, we're smoking now. Oh, okay, my bad. You know that producer, you know that producer, what's that producer's name? Who, Linda? Whatever that lady with the hair. Oh, the little blonde girl? Hey guys, hey guys. Oh, here she is, here she is. Can you put those down now? No. No. Okay, let's put that down. Okay, awesome. Cigarette cheers. Let's stop with some tap cigarettes. I'm gonna need you to do that, or I'm gonna need you to leave. Whoa, excuse me? Excuse me? Who are you? I'm the producer. What's your name? My name's Sam. What's your guys' name? Sam, all right, Sam. You can't go up. She went, my name's Sam. Very sweet. You're not my friend, you gotta bully us. Yeah. You go, you don't need to know my friend's name. Let me just put this in a perspective, okay? I need like a notepad or something. I'm gonna put you in the next one. You need to ignore all of these notes. Okay. This is bullshit. You're Cleopatra, right? And we're just dudes building the pyramid. God, that's so harsh. What? You're saying? That's how you have to think though. I get it. We're just one of 20,000 people building the pyramid. You're the queen of Egypt. Yeah, you're the queen of Egypt. To me, everyone's on the same. You're not gonna be a producer then. That's not right. No pyramids will be built. No pyramids are gonna get built. No pyramids are gonna get built. You have to be a bull. Now we'll do it again. Do it again? One more. You know who I can't stand? What that? That's my toke that we used to work with. Hey guys. He sucks, hey. Hey guys, is he wrong? Hey guys. Hey guys, what's up? Excuse me, is that better? No. Guys, listen up. Guys, listen up. I have my job back. Yeah, actually, okay. If you guys don't put those down, I'm hiring toke. Yeah, that's good. That's good. The toke was really bad at his job. You could have toke. But okay, you gonna fire me? Yeah. Okay, we'll just claim racial discrimination. How are you claiming that? Toke? You see any other redheads on set, toke? Yeah. Emma, Emma is my editor actually. She's in this, she's in studio. She's on set today. Oh, she's on set? She's on set. My daughter's on set? Yeah. M-dog. Listen, you're gonna be a producer. You're gonna be a great producer. Thank you. I actually really like it out here and with school because I'm trying a lot of different things. So it's really great experience all around. And toke, I gotta tell you something. Yeah. Be careful out there. I will. Okay. Why do you say that to him? Cause I want to say the same thing. You can feel something. He's a little troublemaker. He's a little bit, but he needs to stay careful. Stay careful. Why do you think I'm a troublemaker? Well, you wore a jacket and it's 96. It's a little weird. And that was a little dead giveaway. That something's afoot. And I don't know what it is, but I thought, toke came in here with a jacket. It couldn't be hotter upside, literally. Well, it's just normally very cool in like the building. So I want to like prepare. At seven, it's cold? And I'm telling another thing toke. Toke. This is very peeky blinders. Peaky blinders. Peaky blinders. Hello, Toke. Yeah. Like a hood rat from England. From English. Yeah. Can you do a British accent, Toke? I don't think so. Try. That's you, dude. Toke, say, I wish I said. That type of. Where's the party tonight? Where's the party tonight? That's pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Party. Very good. Party. That's the party tonight. And body that character right now, Toke. What are you trying to do again in the business? I forget. Body that guy. I like to be like marketing, advertising. Advertising. Very good. All right, so sell me this show. You know, you got Killian Murphy. It's a pretty big name right there. That's a great. Well, I mean, can I just say something? I mean, we're a production company. You don't open with whoever's starring in it. You need to know what the project is for. What's the project? Okay, so it's about these British guys. And it's not in the modern day. It's like, I don't know what time period it is. That would be helpful. Excuse me. Can we have a little meeting? Yeah. He doesn't know that there's another time period. That's interesting. He could just make it up in line with us. They're gangsters. I know that. Oh, we're listening. We're listening. Yeah, we love British gangsters. Yes. Criminal activities. They do criminal activities. Time period could be in the future. No, it's like in the past. Oh, it is. Yeah, no. How are you sure? How far into the past? How far? Let's say the 1920s. 1940s, maybe. 1920s or 40s. Big gap. Somewhere in that 20s. 1920 to 1940. Time jumps, though. Oh, you do a lot of time jumps. Yeah, we do. Oh, time jumps. OK. And now the show takes place in where? London. In central London? In 1920? 1920. Is that right? Dude, you got to pitch it. You lie. You just got to lie. It does take place in central London in 1921. Very good. Very good, Toc. You already lost the rule. Yeah, it's over. Yeah, yeah. I'll pitch you the show. OK. Ready? No. Pitch me a different show. OK. That you make up. Oh, then a new show? Yeah. All right, to all you guys are the executives? Yeah. Thanks for having me today, guys. It's great to be here. How's everyone? May I? You good? Hi, how are you? Good evening. Oh, good evening. My name is Skip Lubewaski. Mr. Lubewaski, it's wonderful to meet you and send your constituents over there. And introduce yourselves, please. Hi, I'm Willow. Hi, Willow. Your last name, Willow? My last name? Yeah, what is it? I feel like we're familiar. Maybe we met Willow. What's your last name? Willow Evergreen. Willow Evergreen. Willow Evergreen, anyway. Sir, what's your name? Sir? Toka. Toka. Smith. Toka. Toka. Toka Smith. Toka, Toka Smith. Toka Smith. He's Heels of Stutters. Anyway, anyway. I will say, Toka, I do appreciate the fact that your parents, being very Anglo-Smithians, giving you a unique name. I like that. He's Bulgarian. Oh, he's Bulgarian. Let's move on. So have a movie. What's the movie, sir? Do you guys like girls? Who repped you? Huh? Who repped you? Unwrapped. You're unwrapped. How'd you get a meeting? Toka, how did you get a meeting, Willow? I didn't schedule one. Willow, did you schedule this guy? He has no reps. How did he get a meeting with others? Well, your assistant read my script that I sent in and loved it. You did, Willow? Yeah. Yeah, no. I thought he had something, and I figured he should. Miss Evergreen wrote it. Really? Yeah. Unbelievable, because you bumped Aaron Sorkin for this. He's still out there on the hallway. I know. Anyway, go ahead. Girls' Scout cookies? We love girls. We were talking about doing a Girls' Scout cookie move. And what's your favorite flavor? The mint one. The mint one, yeah. OK. I like the peanut butter one. You do. Yeah. Willow, shut the fuck up. Willow, shut the fuck up. The movie I'm pitching is called Thick Mints. Not Thin Mints. And it's about a Girl Scout leader, a very beautiful, sexy, thick woman who trains young girls who have women to kill men who have done her wrong. It's almost like a female empowerment film. And all the while, they're selling cookies to make money to fuel their revenge on all these men that have done them wrong. My god. It's pretty great. You like it? They're young children that murder. No, no, they're Girl Scouts, but they're all grown women by this point. Now they're just avenging their death through the Girl Scouts. So they train the children to kill? Mm-hmm. I don't know if that's going to mark it well. Why, Toc? Toc express yourself why? Interesting. Well, I don't think that's going to appeal to the general audience, like child neglect. Well, I like it. Yeah, so. This is Hollywood at its finest. This is Hollywood. One guy in the room goes, you're an intern. Shut the fuck up. We like it. Yeah, we like it. By the way, great movie. It's a great movie. Thick Mints. Very good. The Girl Scouts are trained to take revenge on men who have done them wrong. Amazing. All right, well, we'll say thank you to Toc and thank you to Willow. You guys are fucking amazing. We love you. Give it up for these guys. You can join the others. Do we want to take one more for fun? Two more in general. Oh, get them over here. Get them in here. Yeah, get them in here. Guys, you guys are the best. Thank you. And good luck on everything. Hello. Oh, yeah. You're going to be Capote the rest of the time? How are you? What's your name? Oh, wait. Let's guess. Hold on. Yeah. Her name is? Slovankia. Slovanka. Slovanka. And his name is? Tweet. Tweet. Slovankia and tweet. And your real names are? JJ. JJ? Whoa, JJ. We said tweet. Don't like your reaction. Got a little defensive there. What does JJ stand for? Jeffrey Jr. Jeffrey Jr. Because your father's Jeff. That's the big J. Your little J. You have Vulcan. What? A Vulcan. You have a Vulcany vibe. Kids got great teeth. Great teeth, yeah. Kids got great teeth. Great lips. Yeah. Is that weird to say? Yes. OK. I mean, no, if he has nice lips. He likes to see us playing him a compliment. I don't think it's that bad. Slovanka. Slovankia, what's your real name? It's Gianna, but I go by Gigi. Pretty close. Gigi. To be honest with you, that's in the world. Slovankia, Giovanna. What's your history? Like, what European country does your family come from? Italy. Italy, France. I don't know exactly. Yeah, no one's doing 23 and me anymore after they still have all your data. Gigi, can you put your mic closer to your mouth? I'm not allowed to do those DNA tests. You shouldn't do them. They're dangerous and silly. Why? They have your blood for the rest of time. They can, like, frame you. They have your DNA. Oh, my god. You're afraid of getting framed. I leave my DNA in every hotel room I ever would stay in. Gigi, are you afraid of getting framed? No, no. Do you have anything to cover up? No. OK. Is she being honest? You think, JJ? I think so. Yeah, OK. Well, I don't buy it. Yeah. What do you guys want to do in the biz? I want to go into editing. Do you want to be an editor as well? Tough competition with Emma, huh? Yeah. What about you? I think I'm going to AD wrote. AD. AD. Great. Smart. That's very smart. An organizational person, your people person, right? Maybe. Well, that's AD. You kind of have to. Let me see. If you ever AD something that I'm in. I quit the film. If you call me in too early, we're going to have a problem out. What is up with their fucking? They don't know about time. They do. They don't. They do. Then why do I have to wait four hours? Because they're lighting and they relight. And then they change where we're shooting. And you know how this fucking thing goes. It's a nightmare. Who out of the crew hangs out the most? Well, Toc and I have been roommates in college. So Toc and you go back? Yeah, we go back. Do you like Toc? I am a big fan of him. You guys are good friends. Do you guys do night whispers? You night whisper. When you sleep and you go. Do you guys do night whisper? You go, Toc. What are you thinking about? I think Toc. Toc. Toc. Yeah. What you thinking about? Grilled cheese sandwiches. Yeah. I really want one real bad. I wish we had a kitchen. You have a kitchen? They do. We have a kitchen. What? We have a fucking kitchen. Do you have cheese or cheese? There's probably no cheese. Wait, do you have fridge? Yeah. We have a fridge. Fucking fridge? When did we get a fucking fridge? Do we have a grill? Do we have a grill? They do. No. No, what the fuck? We have a grill. We know. He said fourth floor. Fourth floor, we have a fucking grill. On the fourth floor, we have a grill. Right, so do we have cheese and bread? We can do it. Let's do it. Let's make it. Do you do that ever with Toc? No. Oh, OK. You don't whisper at night. And who do you live with? I live with the girls. But I have. All the girls live together? Yeah. And I have my own room, because there's three of us. There's three girls. You all have your own room, obviously. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to give you guys money. I'll be real. What are you laughing about? OK. If you want to give money. Yeah, yeah. I'm just allowed to. But you guys are going to fucking get dinner tonight. OK. On us. On us. Do you have any cash on you? Yeah, I got cash in the bag. OK. I'll give you some cash. We'll give you some cash. You guys are going to get a nice dinner, OK? On the retreat. What's that? Like, what's that? In your mind, what's a nice dinner downtown? Is there a nice dinner downtown that you know of? What do you guys usually eat in downtown? Because everything closes down there. But on the way from here, there are those places that they go to Bob's Big Boy. I don't know. No, I know. Yeah, that's true. We've all been kind of cooking a lot. You cook a lot. We're doing frozen meals. Frozen meals. You're cooking a frozen meal. Not tonight, baby. Right? And if you take the cash and don't get a meal, I'm going to have a problem with that. I'm not going to have a problem with it. You can do whatever you want. No, no, not me. Your money. You're spending on a meal tonight on us. Thank you. You know, you're shady right now, Slovakia. OK? What do you think, first thing out of her mouth? She was like, I don't want them to frame me. So she's obviously got some weird shit going on. Yeah, it's a weird trust issues, I think. I just got social anxiety. Oh, you do? Oh, I'm sorry. Well, I'm glad we put you on the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know you well. This is good. Yeah. We have anxiety. Yeah. You know what's great? You wouldn't think that I was? I'm anxious now. I'm full of anxiety. You have terrible anxiety. It comes in different forms. We'll do some improv exercises then to get you through it. Let's do one. Yeah, you want to try one? And you want to be an AD, and what do you want to be again? Editor. Editor with Emma, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do an improv exercise, OK? You're doing a TED talk. OK? OK. So let me see. A Tina talk. Yeah, a Tina talk. You have to be very confident. Even though we're going to give you a topic, you have to pretend you really, you're a professional. You know what you're talking about. Yeah. There's thousands of people in this room. They paid money, and they're here to hear an expert on a topic. That's right. OK? So you're going to go up, and you're going to say you're going to make up a name, you know what I mean, where you're from, and then you're going to go into the topic for like a minute. And the technology? Well, let's go through it. What's the topic? Well, the thing you invented was you were the one that decided that the box at Street Lights, that goes, wait, or walk, walk, walk, that's you. Yeah. That's actually your voice. The original one was your voice. Yeah, yeah. So you were the girl that invented, wait, go, walk, walk. That's you. Yeah. OK? Yeah. Do you know what I'm talking about? I have to talk about that for a minute. Yeah, one minute, one easy minute. Yeah, so I'm going to introduce you, OK? Ladies and gentlemen, lights down. And how about a round of applause for our presenter for this evening? You don't clap for yourself. No, you can. If you're really excited about your project. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I am. Slovakia. Slovonia. Slovonia. And I have invented something that you have all used in your life many times. Oh, what is it? I wonder what it is. What is it? It's actually the crosswalk box that says, wait. And it tells you to walk? That's what she invented. OK. No, listen. Listen, I'm serious. Think about this, OK? If this wasn't a thing, we'd all be getting hit by cars. Well, not really. I mean, we have eyeballs. We can see the cars coming. Green, red. No, no, no, no, no. No. We need this. No. No. No. This is a very important thing that is in every city, in every state, and I'm everywhere. OK, we have some questions. We asked some questions. I like how we gave her a great invention, and she somehow made it sound like it was not worth it. Yeah, yeah. Like for some reason, now I'm like, god, that is not. That's not a question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was invented for the blind. Yeah. I mean, it was. You know that? It was invented for blind? Yeah, to help them get across the streets. Yeah. That's why you hear it go, Q, Q. So the noises echo each other so they can find out how far it is and where they're going. But you hate blind people. You said that on the show. The first thing out of your mouth is I hate blind people. Now, you did a good job pitching. Very good. I actually really liked it. You want to do one? Really. I think you should. I think you should. You know, she said she has social anxiety, and she really powered through it. Yeah, she really. And I applaud you, Jenny. I applaud you. That was fucking great. GG. Yeah, yeah. GG. Yeah. All right, let's go, JJ. OK. Ted talk or no? Yeah, he's got to do a Ted talk. And what did he invent? You two tell him. I did heard. OK, bubble wrap. Oh, this is fantastic. All right, ladies and gentlemen, your presenter for the night, JJ. You know how you order something, and then it gets damaged on the way. That happens to me, yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, it's happening. Like human body? Oh my god. Yeah, body parts always get dinged up. You do. What if you had a wrap made a bubble to stop that? What do you mean made a bubble? We already have that. Bubbles, they float and they pop. Like little kids. We already have that. A little blo- Is this the kind of invented it? What does it do? What do you mean? I did bubble wrap. Oh, you invented bubble wrap? I did. Really? Yeah. They're not turning into a Ted talk. It's turning into like an ass-clutch. I don't want to- What? What are you talking to the fucking speaker for? There's only two of us in this room. Oh my god, he didn't sell me fucking tickets. It seemed like a Q&A. I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You invented bubble wrap. And what gave you the instinct to invent something like that? Well, he ordered like a TV and then it shattered on the way. So I thought we needed better protection in like the postal system. Smart. Very smart. Smart. I don't know why you're ordering TVs through the postal system, but outside of that, I think it's fantastic. JJ, you're going to make a great AD someday. A very good AD. You're going to be a great editor. Who's better at editing? You or Emma, be honest. Go fast. Go. Honestly. Don't even think about it. I haven't really seen much of her stuff. We need to have an edit. Oh, slam. Let's have an edit off. Slam to Emma. Oh, what's a slam? Oh, I don't really see stuff that she does. Yeah, that's right. I don't like stuff that she does. That's a little down there. I mean, she's assed. I just kind of don't want to see it. Yeah. Yeah, she does edit. Yeah. Not that I know of. I mean, I've seen it from afar. I don't think she's doing it right. A lot of other people say she edits, but I know that I know of. I wouldn't know. It's not really my thing. Yeah. All right. JJ and Gigi, we appreciate you very much. Thank you for being on this show. Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you, guys. Look at that. They get a grade for that? Or they pass some sort of test? Yes. Let's say this. Thank you for all your birthday condolences. Yeah, that was great. Can I say an honest thing real fast? A truthful thing? No. It's the wrong word. Yeah. You didn't die. I want to say something genuine. Am I dumb? Honestly, am I dumb? No. No, be real. Am I dumb? You're an artist. Why? Because I say, OK. Do you think I'm dumb? Yeah. You really do. No. Of course not. I wouldn't do something with you if I didn't think you were intelligent. Are you being real? Yeah. If you were a fucking idiot, I would be. I could freak. Here's the thing. I think you are what we call an idiot savant, meaning you're brilliant in your own very specific way. And by the way, that's what makes you so special. I'm not smart. But you're bright. No. An idiot savant refers to an individual with mental disability who also demonstrates extraordinary abilities in a specific specialized area. That's fact. The term is now considered outdated and potentially ableist. Did not know that. Instead, prefer to the more respectful term an individual is savant syndrome. Sorry. I like idiot. I'm an idiot. That could also be a special name. Idiot savant. Yeah. I just want to say this. I want to say thank you to everybody who watched my special White Noise on Hulu and Disney Plus or wherever you get it. It's all over the globe on Disney Plus, Hulu in North America, I believe. I want to say thank you. It means the world to me. I know the world is chaos right now. And I'm glad that we can make comedy that lets people forget about all of the nonsense in the world and just have a laugh. So thank you for watching White Noise. It means the world to me. Thank you. And also. Thank you for being a bad friend. Thank you for being a bad friend.