Chilling, Taste Testing & Quiet Quitting

I like to, but I can't. What? Jealous? Jealous of my spasm? I'm gonna fight Mr. T and he goes, are you kidding me? He's gonna hurt you. He's gonna hurt you. Wait a minute. I promised your parents I wouldn't give you more than one donut. I can't do it, buddy. I said give me a donut. Wait a minute. Who are you? You know what I do when I try to burn people? Because I know they don't do a lot. I go, what's your big Saturday? What's your big Saturday night? What'd you do last night? What was your big Saturday? And it makes them go, well, it wasn't really a big Saturday. I just mowed the lawn and looked at my phone for seven and a half hours, then I went to bed. Most of the time, your people are just generally speaking, hanging out. Yeah, doing nothing. You're just hanging out. Even if you're, when I was a busboy, we're hanging out most of the time. You know what's cooler? It used to be, what are you doing? Nothing, but it sounds cooler to go, just chilling. No, you're doing something. You're chilling. My favorite phrase of the last couple years, chilling, that's the 70s. My favorite phrase is someone says, I'm quiet quitting. Oh, that's old? No, no, that's fairly new, quiet quit. Yeah, that's people quitting work where they just stop doing their job. They just don't put any effort. They phone it in, especially when you can go work from home. I don't know, some people go to Cabo and be on the beach and then just do two hours in the hotel room like you would do. Get their work all done and then party. I love it, but the robots are going to take over. So that's all right. Got a little Debbie down there. Enjoy your job now because AI will take it in a week. Oh no, you fucker. I wasn't going to do this, but now. Oh no, the war of the two dollars. Got to if I could find it. It's the cheapest thing. Shit. Oh, I was going to fucking light you up. Oh no, if I can't do it, we're not going to do it because I'm wasting too much time. I'm trying to, I have a bond. It's hard to see it. It's kind of dark. The little. No, this one sucks. Mine's awesome. That's a pretty good joke. All right, could I introduce a new segment? No, go ahead. Okay. I don't even give you any enthusiasm. I go, okay, this thing I always like to do. It's called, it's called Johnny's back. So it's Johnny Carson does jokes and then some of them are sort of like how we, if he was a monologist today, if he had a show today, what would the jokes be kind of thing? Okay. So it's, you know what, it's your Johnny Carson. Johnny is back. I just want to say the world's a little scary. So you got to go to your local bar and forget all your troubles. Ed and I went to the rusty nail and we said, what do we have? And the bartender said, a double straight of Hormuz. They're not supposed to be good. I should have known the bar was actually called the war zone. And I'll have. Okay, that's funny. Here's ruining your joke. Go ahead, the war zone. Go ahead. The war zone. You know the, Mr. Johnny's back, the stock market's a little volatile. The Dow Jones is falling faster than Doc's trousers and a whorehouse. Jesus. Why stuff them? Why is the toilet? No, but the point of Johnny's back is they don't have to be great jokes. I like them. They're just more updated. Yeah, cause these would be some old Johnny jokes. There's a worst gift in the world is a fruit cake. There's no one who really wants a fruit cake. In fact, there's only one fruit cake in the entire world and people keep just gifting it to each other. It took me a while to get there, but that's fucking money. So I'm just inviting the fans. I need an effect after I say this, the legions of fans to write us Johnny Carson jokes as if it was in today's vernacular. They do it sometimes on the YouTube. God, I'm wasting all this time looking for funny ones, but I don't know. Oh, I mean actual Carson ones. No, just reactions to yours. Well, that would be if he had some kind of expert on where now we're, we're talking to Mr. Monkey. He's a, he can get a little aggressive. I understand. And here comes his friend. No, no, that was a fart. It's supposed to be something else. Oh, here's a monkey one. God, he's fucking hyped up on Adderall. Here's what I, there's what the audience thinks about our first few minutes. God. I don't know about that. Yeah, I lost money. Forget it. It's solid gold stuff. I have a two dollar toy. People are going to be like, pay paling us money and cash up and go, this is too good. We should pay. Right, right. This is so much more than what we're getting listening to a few ads. So let me see. Oh, someone said on the YouTube, we didn't name drop enough about the Oscars. But I will say, I think I already said when I golfed with Santino that day, Andrew Santino from the Ad Friends. Yeah, yeah, of course. You know him, you've done big red, big red, big golfer. So he invited me down, but I was paired with Travis Kelsey, which I didn't know for sure I was doing that. So we got to have a cart and drive around and I got to ask him nothing about Taylor Swift. Out of respect. Did I? Oh no, I just told him that Taylor's dad was at one of the shows and gave me some guitar picks, which was nice little Ziploc from, he said, you can take these around and tell him that. Did he start to fall asleep actively in the golf cart when you're doing that? Hey, hey, hey, Mr. Mr. Kelsey. Taylor Swift one time was at a college and then I was there afterwards. That's my whole story. That's about the length it should be. All my stories are that boring, but they're five minutes longer. You know what I find in general, although it could blow up in your face is being just totally honest. Like what is it, man, football player, you're all time great. And then this happens, this global media and all that. How are you processing that? Can you ask me my nine iron please? I need my wedge. Yeah. Kelsey, hand me my, would you hand me my? I mix it in. He's not my caddy. But sometimes people are like, no, in my story is you're not like little David Spade. Me can't talk to him. I'm meek and frail. He's too famous. No, I just didn't want to give him the typical questions, but he was nice. I'm just kidding. Santino was funny. If we went five of us, which is a lot, it's usually four golfing, but he, by the way, the dude can power hit. He does put those big muscles. I said, this might sound weird, but can I feel your muscles? This may sound weird. Can I feel all your muscles? Well, you hit a golf ball with your, your, your legs and your ass. So I think you don't want to feel the muscles that he's really using. Oh, you don't hit it with your arms. Like your, your legs are just like, well, they're straight. Your knees are locked and you just go like that. You get it like 10 feet. It has to be the lower half. You have to use your core. And then I go, this is your core. And then I go, are you ticklish? Right. Right. Well, I played backgammon with a Shibazi. What's his name? Shibuzi? Shibuzi and I played backgammon. And I'm just trying to, you know, I got stories too. No, it was Oscar weekend. So of course people are coming out of the woodwork. Lady Gaga and I played chess and the story in the park. She had sunglasses on. Did you smack it like between each play? Well, I just, I just said, well, where, as you get the name Gaga, did you, for you first think of Gaga, then you added another Ga. Did you say which ones didn't make the cut? Which ones were even dumber? Goo Goo? Yeah. Isn't your real name Barbara Billingsley or something? From Leave It To Be That. Ladies and gentlemen, Lady Baba. Why do I go into Gaert at this age when I'm talking to her? It's funny to do Gaert. So golf, but the Oscar parties were, there's not much to say. Oh, you know, I saw as the kid from, I forgot to say this, we were walking around me and my buddy Dan and we were in the back, we went to the back corner to get a little standup, you know, circle top to just rest and survey the parameter and not be in the mix because it was like, I don't get, you get overwhelmed fast. You go, let's just, maybe we should bust out of here. But then one of the kids from the hockey show came over and said, can we split this table? I said, yeah, for sure. Did you say hockey show? The hockey show where they are lovers, Dana, wake up. What is it on, the Pluto channel? What? Logo? What's it on Heather? She said, Dana, I can't believe you don't know it. Then I go, she's like, I don't know. It's called sibling rivalry. It's called heated rivalry. I got it. HBO Max? Jeez, what do you, HBO Max, I'm still working through season one of Love Island. You are not watching Love Island. I'm like, let's have a group chat about it. No, but heated rivalry, Dana, is about two tough hockey players that fall in the ice and then they start kissing. No, it's not. The rival teams. Oh, their rival teams, they hate each other, but they really don't. Oh, wait a minute. Sorry, but it's like a gay hockey show? I mean, what are you talking about? There you go. You're getting the wrong one. Is that bad to say that? No, it's what it is. I would know. Every girl in the world loves it. Literally every single girl in the world loves it. That's the next, thanks, Greg. It's exactly what it is. And why do women love that idea? What is it, Heather? Heather, tell me the two guys' names. It's the same thing to you for years. It's the same thing why a guy likes to see two girls. It seems odd, but guys like to see two girls hooking up. And then girls I didn't know like to see two guys hooking up. Okay. Even Nikki Glazer says, well, one guy's name is Connor. And hosted SNL. And this was the other gentleman who was very nice actually. Why don't I remember his name? Say his name. Oh God, everyone's asleep at the wheel. Anyway, very nice. And I said to Nikki, do you watch that show? And she said, oh yeah. And then some other people were there. And the girls said, oh, the hockey show where they're gay. I've heard about, but I don't think I'd like it. I don't like hockey. She goes, the good news is they're almost no hockey. She goes, there's no hockey. They start by going, and then no hockey the rest of the whole thing. It was Hudson. Yeah. Those are real names. Connor hosted SNL. Wake up Dana. What year did he host it when I was there playing Biden last fall? Three weeks ago. Don't be jealous. Oh, that guy. Yeah, he's good. He's funny. I saw it. I don't keep the names Dan. I don't. I can't. Danny, I don't know. Anyway, he looks a little like. I think it's great. I just thought sort of the folklore was that women were more sexually fluid in a sense, and men were either one team or the other. I know. I'm so tough. I don't even get HBO Max because my TV knows how tough I am. It's like, you don't want to see this. You don't want to see it. Why? I don't connect the dots. Because it's a show about two gay guys hooking up. So you're so non-gay. I'm so manly. I see that you can't even get it on. I can't even, I wouldn't even understand. I'll be there. You try to order it. That does not compute. I try to order it. Your subscription has been canceled due to overt masculinity. Please call Mark Finneas-Gervits at 517- Let me tell you. Maybe you'll like it. They like money. It's a hit show. It's all fun. I don't know. Maybe we'll get you on there. I put the cat on the roof. You know what? I went George Bush. The cat on the roof is a really cool phrase that I didn't know about, meaning a deal is almost sealed. The cat's on the roof. Yeah. You know what he used to say? I called the guy. I set the table. So when you call, he knows everything that's going on. You just close it, whatever. Now he goes, I called the guy, the cat's on the roof. Next time you, and I go, you said it three times in this conversation. I don't know what you're talking about. Is that a phrase? He goes, everybody knows that one. Wake up. One time he said to me, I set the table. Yeah. I set the table. I got two spoons. You bring a knife. One's for soup. Are we talking about a deal in Hollywood? No. You bring the salad fork. The napkin goes tucked up in your shirt. We get close. And then you close the deal. Yeah. And then you get a TV dinner. I set the ball up. You spike it. Mark's listening right now. He doesn't know what we're talking about. You remember, I'm the guy who went from gotta do it, then nah, gotta do it. So with Gerbets now, to make it, to amuse myself, I have to take. Yeah, it goes crazier. We got a deal for you. It's almost, it's almost Archie Bunker. What was her name? Edith. Edith. I got a nice Elendian casino for you. It's a quick five hour flight and a two hour. Short hop, Frankfurt, the Beijing. A couple of short hops. I think there's a nice thing going. So that's, anyway, set the table. Landscape has changed. I thought we were going to do that deal. Nah, the landscape has changed. So much manager talk. I can't take it. Did they do that in old timey days? It was just complete code. I think it was more straightforward. We've achieved a deal with Warner Brothers. Now it's like the cheese is in the fridge. Yeah, he does want to be replaced by AIs. We talk so insane that AI doesn't even know how to repeat it. No one knows if the deal is sealed or not. The deal is sealed. It was kind of too old timey. One on the one yard line. Yeah, now it's like, I'll be finished sowing my sweater by tomorrow. I know you go. What is that? Is that good? Oh yeah. You're going to be nice and toasty on Monday if you know what I mean. So I'll wear the sweater that you're, it'll be done. This is off the record. Little birdie told me. Trust me. And now you know the inter-mationation, ladies and gentlemen of Hollywood. Having a ridiculous manager. This has been Hollywood talk. This is real inside baseball. Yeah, we got Johnny's back as a new segment. We got Hollywood talk. We need a banger. We did the Oscar live show. I mean, it almost broke the internet. Rawr. The thing is. We did a show Monday and it was live. We did Fly on the Wall live for once. And now we're just raking in all the praise. The problem is, you know, the brand of our podcast is two nice guys, not true behind the scenes, two incredibly nice guys get together and do a podcast. Now if we want a trend, we shat it on the people at the Oscars. Yeah. Take them down. If we want to get a million hits, we know what you could say right now. And probably the thing with the screen would go. I used to be a little more like that, but I thought, you know what? We should have gotten Tim Dillon or someone to come on. Yeah. And they do the dirty work and then we just laugh. That's smart. Tim's great at it. The same Monday.com designed for every team and every industry. The same Monday.com with built in AI scaling your work from day one. The same Monday.com that your team will actually love using. The same Monday.com with an easy and intuitive setup. Go to Monday.com and try it for free. Yes, the same Monday.com. Hi, everybody. I'm Maury Povich on my podcast on par with Maury Povich. I'm going to sit down with the icons, the stars and the faces at the very center of today's big cultural moments with everyone from comedians. Josh Johnson, Dan Soder, Leigh Ann Morgan, to newsmakers. Don Lemon, Joy Reid, Aaron Parnas and so many more. So join me for new episodes every week because nothing is off limits. Great conversations. They're always on par. Follow and listen to On Par with Maury Povich wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everyone. It's Stavros Halakis and I'm here to tell you about my podcast, Stavi's World. Each week we're joined by great guests like Josh Safty, Eric Andre, Caleb Herron and more. It's sort of an interview show, but really we're just messing around, making each other laugh and hopefully making you laugh while you're washing the dishes or grocery shopping or on a long drive. Plus, I take listener calls where we have honest conversations about dating life and everything in between. Imagine if your therapist was a vulgar degenerate whose office was in a Greek diner. No scripts, no polish and absolutely no holding back. Listen to Stavi's World wherever you get your podcasts. Weren't you called the king of snark at one point? I was for a while, but I think I handed it down. I didn't know what the word snarky was and I heard it first from Dan Ackroyd. I've never heard that term. Really? You know, you know, you're the snarky guy around here. You're the snarky guy. You know, you know, you know, people love the snark, you know? Yeah, you know, it's a good way to get a laugh, right? I'm Dan Ackroyd. When Dan came by the old SNL offices, we would just be like, I know, he sat with us when we were there in 86, he had dinner with us, you know? Don't be in a hurry to leave the show. And then he talked all about investing. What do you do with your money? You take the money you earn and then you invest it. He's worth 300 million. Wait, you were only 10 years after the huge blow up of SNL. So Dan Ackroyd being there right off the heels and he was doing like trading places and shit. Holy fuck. Dan Ackroyd, as everyone knows, is Canadian nice. He didn't have, he's never had an ego or an answer. And I'd rather really look at, look at haunted houses, to be honest. I mean, he's fascinated by UFOs, paranormal. So anyway, I'm jealous of people. I am too, but I'm not that interesting, but you want to be different than just showbiz stupid stuff. Well, let's talk about the Oscars for a second and see if we can get a banger without being too mean. After our Oscars show. It's a lot of rules. We have another week. We could shit on our Oscars live streaming episode, 13 hours after a Conan was faced down in a pile of his own goo at the, at the hook and crook. His own goo? Yeah, that's news to say that. You know, this guy drank so much he woke up faced down in a pile of his own goo. You don't know that expression? No. You aren't the king. I'm going to add it. Conan doesn't drink. Wait, what else is going to tell you? Oh, the Bus Boys trailer came out. Oh, yeah. And, and also that Keanu Reeves movie I did, smaller part, but that came out. It's called Outcome. That's on Apple TV. That'll be in April 10th and then Bus Boys is theaters April 17th. But a handful of theaters. So I'm telling people buy your tickets now because it's only in maybe a hundred. I'm just going to call it right now. April is the month of the spade. Yeah. Well, I saw the outcome trailer. I'm not in it that much. I'm going to post it today. Because what do you play? I mean, what are you? I'm a. What, you have an accent? I'm one of his buddies whose name is Buddy. So no, I don't have an accent. I don't do anything. You could do an accent. I'm kind of a douchebag. So I live next to him in Malibu. And the joke is, you know, in Malibu, you kind of, the balconies close together like that. You have about a foot between them. We're all badged together. Yeah. Each house is. Yeah, I know them. Which is legit because they built it. It wasn't really in Malibu. It looked exactly. Anyway, so when I live here and he lives here, I can always talk to him. He can't really escape me. So I'm like, what's up guy? And he's like, oh, hey man. And then he goes out there to kind of Zen and meditate because he's going through the ringer because he's super star. He's got a movie coming out, but he's getting blackmailed and he just wants some peace and quiet. I'm like, what's up guy? And he's got you're chipping at him. I'm just up his ass. Yeah. I just like star fucking him. And he's, because I know he's a star in the movie. He plays like a Robert Downey Jr. big star. And so kind of like he is in real life. But Jonah Hill wrote it and directed it. Oh yeah. Oh, that's cool. Cameron Diaz is his friend and Jonah is his lawyer and Matt Boomer. Sounds kind of like a cool movie. It's a great, it's a fun movie. I think so. It's been a lot of work for the premiere in a while, a couple of weeks. But you know, so that's out. Busboys. Busboys, busboys. We're trying to get Theo to come on before busboys. So we're going to hopefully he'll be on here if he gets back in town because we want to do it in person. Busboys. Yeah. I may, you know, I've told you this and I think Theo that John Lovitz and I tried to get a sketch on SNL once. And it was called Billionaire Busboys. And then we had a song, Billionaire Busboys, Billionaire Busboys, just like you and me. Billionaire Busboys, Billionaire Busboys, they are so carefree. They will clean your table when they're ready and able. Billionaire, Billionaire, Billionaire Busboys, just like you and me, except they're billionaires. So the idea is they have to be employed a certain amount to keep all their inheritance coming in. Oh. That's kind of like Brewster's Millions. Every few days they just get fired on purpose. So someone's just eating their soup, posh restaurant, you just sit in front of them and take the, I don't think I'll take that. So it's just to get... Spoon up your ass. They have to get fired so they're slugging people and throwing chairs. So yeah, that'll be the sequel. Try to be a busboy for this. By the way, Lovitz's back hurts. So I'm going to have to go over there and nurse him today. Maybe I'll text him or call him. Give him a call. Check on him. Yeah, the back. He likes to golf and play tennis. You got to really keep your core on. I like to, but I can't. What? Jealous. Jealous of my spasm? Yeah. I had an idea that maybe John, the character of John Lovitz will be part of our five hour energy segment today. Oh really? No, let's do it. Just a tease. No, let's do it. Let's do it. This is buzzing around. You know what it's time for. It's time for buzzing around. Sponsored by Five Hour Energy and their fruity rainbow flavor. Treat your taste buds to an explosion of fruit candy flavor with a tasty caffeine kick. Get candy flavored chaos with fruity rainbow five hour energy shots online at www.fivehourenergy.com. Or Amazon. I'm going to take a slug while you rev up your pipes. Take a slug. This is kind of like a movie set where Owen Wilson plays the babysitter of John Lovitz who plays himself as a three year old. Then there's a surprise guest. I'll try to make it simple. All right. Owen Wilson. Everyone silent, please. Sorry, little buddy. You can't have another donut. Why not? I want another donut. Jealous? I promise your parents I wouldn't give you more than one donut. I can't do it, buddy. I said give me a donut. Wait a minute. Who are you? I'm Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt. Perfect. Maybe you can help me with this baby John Lovitz. You know, I'm not supposed to give him another donut. That's a good plan. What do you think I should do? I can think of worse things than giving that little fella a donut. And I think there's nothing wrong with giving a little kid a second donut. He'll remember it the rest of his life. Exactly, Brad Pitt. So give me a donut. I think it was a pretty good scene. Should we should we do it again, Woody? No, that's I think we got it. You know, just straight. No, you're terrific, but maybe we'll release it. It'll be an opener for bus boys. You're trying to go full circle. I've got good news, Brad Pitt. I pooped my diaper. I'm so jealous you have that. I'll get you one. No, I have that's right. John should have gone more scatological because he does like that. I have a full diaper. Jealous. Heather, I ran out of batteries. I was going to go beep beep beep beep beep beep. This piece of shit. Did you do that? The they said it would last five thousand five hours. Taking this out of my doomsday fucking base. My doomsday basement. I have a box, you know, in case everything was wrong. It's. A rat bag with cashews and raisins. And that's right. Five headshots. I don't know if I need those, but just to make sure people know I'm famous. If there's a bunch of rubble. If there's a. Yeah, it's kind of like please help me first. Would you potentially be like Burgess Meredith in this scenario? You got to help me rock because these rocks are going to hurt me. Point minute. Just so people know he's doing Burgess Meredith, this famous actor for 100 years, who was playing the rough and tumble Brooklyn kind of coach, a trainer. Two Sylvester Stallone and Rocky. He's playing it to a very sophisticated 1962 black and white Twilight Zone, where he plays someone who survives a nuclear holocaust and wants to read books just so that just so it makes sense. He was always worried about Rocky and he likes and he's more tough love. If you look, if you watch some of these carefully, he does like Rocky. He's very tough on him. And he goes, I'm going to fight Mr. T. And he goes, are you kidding me? He's got to watch it. He's got to watch a point minute. Yeah. But he says point minute every time. I was doing it. I told you his brain is good. He's cleared the fight. He got scrambled eggs. I mean, basically in the first movie, he led with his face. Instead of the only point. He's hitting me to your tired. Hey, yo, hey, he's all swollen. And you, it's pretty good. And she fell in love with him right at that moment. Adrian was like the most supportive wife. You can't win. I was like, I like Adrian. And then after he wins, she's like, you shouldn't have won. It should have been a decision for him. I'm like, Adrian, after how much money do you have on this? Adrian, I put on this long glasses with my eyes and so swollen with bookish. Is that the turtle or the dog? Yeah, it is. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Yeah, this is Adon Susanega. I could do a fight. I could take part in this with my face. Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. Yeah, I know. It's OK. Yeah, yeah. So you're going on vacation to Mexico. Yeah, I would do a little bit of a movie. It's. Go. Anyway, I'm a huge fan of both those guys. Stallone is for Snagger. Greatest movie stars. I like that you add that at the end. I know in case people go, I'm not doing Sylvester Stallone. I'm exaggerating the character of Rocky when he got his face smashed by Apollo Creed. Look, he's got cylinder blocks in his gloves. I ain't got to work around these challenges. Yeah, the guy was kind of negative. He's going to moody your permanent. His hands are like blocks of concrete. He's twice as big as you. What's the bad part, Bully? You're on so many steroids, you're nuts in your chest. A two percent body fat doesn't play it. OK. You haven't had a boner since 1971. You're not allowed to pull out an IV in your arm during the fight. All right. Get it ready. All right, we're going to go to some stories. Oh, shoot. You didn't read. How come you can see that? OK, God, they got a good one. That whole bullshit was buzzing around. You had a hundred impressions. Oh, good. Yeah. Sponsored by Five Hour Energies, fruity rainbow flavor. Treat yourself to a candy like flavor explosion and satisfy your sweet tooth with this zero sugar treat. Once again, you can get in on the candy flavored chaos online at FiveHourEnergy.com or Amazon today. Now we'll go now. Now we'll go to some stories. A great story like Monsters, Inc. stays with you forever. And Disney Class is where you'll find your next great story from the return of the award winning hit series, Rivals. Welcome to the naughtiest show on television to the unmissable crime drama, High Potential. Got a dead body. Got to go. A lifetime of great stories awaits this spring on Disney Plus, 18 Plus. Subscription required. Teases and sees apply. Your words, not mine. Now we did a 12 minute buzzing around. Is that's where he's supposed to go? All right, here he is. This is supposed to be split screen. Let me see. Yeah, look at that blue line right where we have to see. OK. OK. Oh, yeah. OK. Mississippi. OK, you know about NIL and all this. Of course. Name, image, like this. So Mississippi is pulling a fast one and saying they pass a no tax on NIL money. It helps Ole Miss and Mississippi State. Of course. Look at it. They could it says at the bottom of a teacher taxed police taxed healthcare worker. Third string cornerback tax free. So they can say, come here. Wow. I'd only give you a couple of million to play in college. We won't tax you. That's why I assume they'll win every game the rest of the rest of the scales because you're going to if you get a $3 million offer from California and you get, you know, the worst taxes in the country, then you go, I can go to Ole Miss. I know. Keep all my money. I mean, crazy. That is the problem. I mean, he was, I guess he, Senator John Kenny was having lunch with Gavin Newsom. Now it gave me the wrong, but the thing you have to remember is that you are competing for talent on all levels from 50 other states. Yeah. Do I make myself clear? Now you want to tax the shit out of people. Sorry. Pardon my French. And do you think that'll make them come to your state and work there? Is 50 the right amount of states? Is that number of the states? Yeah. But that's smart. Some, some guy came out of a swamp. So I got an idea. Yeah. That's a good idea. We ain't going to tax NIL anymore. Mississippi today was reported to be the highest per capita earning state in the nation. That was Tom Brokaw. Yeah. Every kid there is going to make so much money. It is a smart move and they pass it right away because there's not much going on. So they're just like, Hey, this is how we can draw and have a killer team. Do people understand when, when NIL came in and what it means? Is that common knowledge? Oh, to people. You can be in college and get paid doing Instagram and you're promoting and commercials and get paid. You know what's funny is they. A million. Name it image and likeness, but really it's just been, we'll just pay you to come here. Mm hmm. And so we can use your name and image and likeness, but that's very secondary, it seems, because it's really just like a draft. Like every year you can just switch schools. I think you can switch during, but. Switch around. But put it this way, when I was growing up, if you like the coach gets 10 million, the stadium is full of 80,000 people paying. They got concessions. I mean, it's a billions and billions of billions and dollars. And these guys playing football and they're getting paid zero and they could get an injury and then that's it. So it'd be like, you know, I don't know if I'm coming back for my senior year. Can't feel my feet. It's like varsity blues. Yeah. Well, I think that's true. And so people said they should get paid. This feels like it was an overcorrection. Well, maybe it was an overcorrection. Somewhere in the middle. The, the gymnast who's now on Baywatch. I'm sorry. Her name is Olivia Dunn. Olivia Dunn seems like a very nice, sweet young woman and she has been very smart and clever. And she was a really great gymnast or is with leveraging that into a career. So props to her. Right. She gets millions to do what she does. So whoops. I mean, you know, the fact that I look the way I look in a, in a speedo. You know, Gerbett said, yeah, with your body, you should be on Baywatch. You'd be a little bit older, but you still be caught. I will tell you that that, that open casting call was a long day for me. And then I never got, I never heard anything from you. What's so funny is I'm doing the craziest shit on one side and I see you kind of like, okay, I hear you doing Gerbett's and I'm going telling you that is for Baywatch. I can't see anymore. And you're like, um, girl, let me go over some documents here. I'm listening to you go, I can't commit harder. All right. All we're all I was saying, I added on an indendum that I auditioned for Baywatch. I went to the 12 hour casting call on Santa Monica beach and along with everyone else. And I didn't get it. Even a callback. Yeah. I was, I, I tested for sort of an R rated comedy called Bay Slut and I didn't get it. No, that's too bad. I went in and I said, they said, let's see you in your speedo. I go, I see you have a photo of you in your speedo and a photo of you without your speedo. And I go, yeah, that one's for you. And they go, it's not really what we're looking for. Yeah. I had kind of an oversized speedo. It's called a slowdo and it's just a little roomier. Yeah. Keep some room so things can jostle. I want to be more insane and have you look down. I go, why don't you go, okay. No, I was thinking. I'm sending you one of these so you can give me with this. I like it. It's $2 on Amazon. All right. That's $2 too many. Okay, let's go to another story. Do we have any other stories? We literally have one story. Okay, I'm fine. Okay. Stand up comedian. Recently diagnosed with terminal cancer, travels thousands of miles to try to kill his ex-wife as his last dying act murders. Oh, he did kill her. This is in Arizona. No anchorage. Stand up comedian. Recently diagnosed with terminal cancer. Where does this stand up comedy part come in? I mean, how? It's not that funny. I don't know, but a stand up comedian does this. Wow. It's giving us a bad name. Before he headed out, he headed up. He was headlining a comedy club. I think it was in Tucson called the Slicened Dish. Okay, it's all I got. Okay, that was a fun story. But you know, we like to come up comedians. Yeah, yeah. He's a really good comedian. He's got a great chunk. Oh my God, this one's too bright. It's too light now, but hang on. This is what you did when you walked into your Baywatch audition. They go, are you excited to be here? I guess so. This is when you came in and you're slow to audition. That was nice. Oh, that almost sounds like the nurse. Oh, I'm going to have to call the doctor. This is more like the nurse. This is a real show. I'm so embarrassed. I'm sorry, folks. We've been doing this a while. Sorry, we got a little silly. No, honestly, I got to take this. Yeah. Go for Dickie. Well, I love the fake thing holding up. That was a good poem. It'd be more like, yeah, and you go like this. Hello. I don't know. Okay, let's do another one. All right. Oh, this is Wendy's. Oh, because you know what? We didn't get to it, Lassie, but I said I've been into Wendy's. And when they do this, let's check your eyesight, Dana. They're looking for a chief tasting officer about the role. Okay. Chief tasting officer, Wendy's. A hundred grand a year. A hundred grand. I could have read that. Like, oh, yeah, I can read it now. Remote locations, light, mostly to your local Wendy's and a human mouth, a pulse, opinions, creativity, taste. That's the credentials. Job type dream. And then is this real? Yes, it is. Do you hate your job? I think it's Wendy's being like getting younger people by talking like directly and funny about a real job. Right. You want the vibes. You want to come in here. You want to kick back. We don't want anyone busting your bullseye. We're fun. Yeah. That's a fun ad for a job at Wendy's. I have not gone into Wendy's in a while, but I've maybe been in the Wendy's 3,000 times in my life. I have been a taste tester. I'd like to reenact that right now. I've been a taste tester at a hamburger joint. I won't say which one. Wendy's anyway. So it's like, all right, let me have that. Thank you. Okay. This is a double cheeseburger. Okay. Here we go. With a special sauce. All right. Here. Here. My God. Okay. Now I want to see you. Eat. No. Eat. Eat. I want to see you. You'll be good at this. Try our new. Try our new deluxe spade burger. Go ahead and let me see you mime that out. And then I'll give you a review. Here we go. Napkin. Okay. Napkin. Get the burger. Buy it. Here's me not liking it, but acting like I like it. Okay. It's good. It's really, I didn't know there would be a dog tooth in it, but I don't, I don't hate it. I think it's good. Well, that was making me laugh because it was so serious. Yeah. Let me take it. Because all the bosses were looking. Fine. We don't know which way you're going with it yet. Oh, good. He's giving up. Okay. And scene. Here's another one. Ready. Oh, no. It's a faster version. Okay. I'm putting it in the napkin because I love it so much. I'm going to eat it again later. Yeah. Here's another one. I guarantee we say that we don't even know what we're going to do. Just say it. He's holding his nose. Oh, oh, oh, oh, taste tester. Oh, are you barfing because you like it too much? I don't know. You know, I'm trying to cover for you in front of the boss. Oh yeah. Well, you get all the good ones. That's a good one. Thank you. We've heard it. Give us something new. Okay, here's. You like that one? I do like that one. Yeah, that's cute. Yeah, that's your review. Okay, let's do another one. Up the hamburger. Okay. We'll get that. Here we go. All right, here it is. Here's our final clip. Oh, Heather. Oh, funny. Have we never shown this? I don't think we did this. This keeps popping up my Instagram. The facts of life. I don't like the word failed is a little strong. Big Apple Blues did not get picked up. I think it aired, but didn't get picked up, I think. Facts of life episode, Big Apple Blues, you play the love interest in it. And you're like a, you're 12 here or something. Go to the next one. Oh no, you can't see me in this one. Oh, we can't. Can it frame? My muscles. Can they, aren't we seeing a video? No. No, I guess they're photos, but the right side is too big. The left side is too small. I don't care about the writing. That's 2D on the left. And that you could see part of your head and elbow. Oh, I'm ripped, dude. I'm in a muscle shirt. My pants are unbuttoned for some reason. But it said I was a comedian in it, but I was not. Greco, who spun off and did Booker right after this, big star. I am a doctor, scrub tech, but I'm in med school. And in the pilot, I already take Mindy out and I go, I start crying. I'm like, Sarge, I lost a patient. I like, someone dies. Why am I in charge of anyone that would die? I'm like 26, you know, 24. The episode, this is the violin, introduced new characters played by David Spade, who portrayed a sarcastic aspiring comedian named Scott. I don't think I was a comedian. No, they always say that. Greco, who blew up on a rocket ship right after this on his own TV show. Well, they should just go next week. Let's get, because Meg Ryan played my girlfriend for a few episodes, one of the boys, 1981. Heather, you used to work with Meg. Let's do it. This will be full circle moments. Meg, it's really cool. Meg is really cool, man. You ever see Harry Met Sally? Oh, boy. Oh, boy, you dropping. That's what the people want to hear. Oh. You want to hear about stars. Stars? Well, I've sold my Mickey Rooney ones with Nathan Lane. Dana has met every star in the book. Well, I did read, you know what, SNL 130 episodes. Whoops, maybe 140. Excuse me. So you meet 140 stars. I met Robert Mitchum. This is for the boomers. Charlton has to not met, work with them. Yeah. You said amazing part of being on Saturday Night Live. And every band. Every band, man. Nirvana, Pearl Jam. All our ones, newer ones, Elvis Costello. What was the one I did where you were my writer? Whoops. Hosted. It was the MTV. Oh, the MTV VMAs. Yeah. And that was with Nirvana and stuff like that. I mean, I was a bit of a dick. I'd go into the writer's room. Guys, come on. Let's go. Oh, there he is. Jeez, you look really built up. Why are my pants on butt? Why are your, that says this is AI. AI gave you giant arms and pulled your zipper down, right? I might have been bricked up, so I said I need to give it some breathing room. You were never that bricked up. No, my wiener. Like I was like, I give it the Levi Five Button Stress Test. She's looking at me like, why are your pants off? Bob Dubak used to do that. The guy who was our landlord, basically a comedian, Bob Dubak, who's out with, he's got a one man show Jesus doing stand-up. That's really funny. Dubak, I haven't seen him in a while. Yeah, yeah, he's out there. He's definitely good looking. And he's funny. He's got this really funny show. He was a fun guy. Funny show. Yeah, he's great. All right, let's wrap it up, Day. And we've done too much. Too much. Was that really you on the tank top? Just because of the angle you look so built up. I was. I used to be able to do 13 pull-ups. Seriously? Okay. I used to be strong, dude. Well, the only thing I can say now is, well, what happened? Yeah, what happened? Where's the deflate noise? Whoops. Oh boy. Look, are you taking off your coat, sir? Yeah, right at the end. Why was it like this? Oh, this is a flex. I just bought these on Amazon for $2, but... Aren't you hot? That's a good shirt. Can you see what it says, though? I don't... I can't. I like straight... What does it say, Heather? It doesn't say anything, does it? No, it's right there. I can't see it. You know, your laptop camera ain't Navagun. Your grainy 8mm camera. That's 1080p. You're a 9K. You're a 9K, Louisa. 1080p, don't be jealous. Shit. This is from the Gap. If you would like to become a sponsor on this podcast. I have a great old Gap shirt from literally easily 25. I like it because it's basic. I like basic... That's a cool one. Yeah, it's got a little stripe, so it gives you a little something-something. I knew you like it. I've got a green one as well. Hold on. I would be hot with that coat on, though. People are like, is this over? I mean, it's... We would say the same if it was over. So we should finish. Well, we'll finish this one. Oh, this is an unboxing, Heather. Oh, that one, I can read the Gap. Yeah. So... That's a good green. Anyway. But yeah, I make this room very cold when I come in here. It's called air conditioning. Do you know what we used to say on Gap Girls? Welcome to the Gap. Can I say some crap? Gap Girls was legendary. Could I just get a little bit of your character? What was her name? Meg? Just do it for a second. Christy. Just do it for a second. My boyfriend last night, he's always telling me, I look like I just slept on my face. That's what Sandler says. Why do you even go out with him? He says you look like you slept on your face. I go, he's really honest. He's a cancer. It was you? Sandler and Farley. Farley, yeah. Farley was our manager. But she was Cindy and then Schneider worked at the donut hut next door. Schneider. And I said, and he came in with Sarah Gilbert and I go, but isn't the donut hut slots? I don't, I don't. I'm writing, Emmy. It's between dress and air. Um, I don't know if you need the donut whole slots. It's a little bit weighty. What? It's funny. That's all I got. Give it to me. I don't have any other lines. He goes, Schneider walks in, he goes, we're in the food court. And he goes, oh, that's the Gap Girls and they're eating again. What a surprise. All right. I don't want to give the whole thing away. Don't give it all away. All right. Thanks, Dana. Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast, which you are, be sure to click follow on your favorite podcast app. Give us review, five star rating, and maybe even share an episode that you've loved with a friend. If you're watching this episode on YouTube, please subscribe. We're on video now. Fly on the Wall is presented by Autasie, an executive produced by Danny Carvey and David Spade, Heather Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Matty Sprung-Kaiser, and Leah Reese-Dennis of Autasie. Our senior producer is Greg Holtzman, and the show is produced and edited by Phil Sweet-Tec, booking by Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick Fogarty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa Wester, Hilary Shuff, Eric Donnelly, Colin Gaynor, Sean Cherry, Kurt Courtney, and Lauren Vieira. Reach out with us any questions to be asked and answered on the show. We can email us at flyonthewall at autasie.com. That's audacyi.com.