We tried to go LIVE on YouTube to Talk Oscars

I got to have places. Places, everybody. Put that on your. What did they? No, we just wait till it's a good one. I should have had my noise makers, Dana. Hey, man, you're live. And where's your noise maker? Do you want me to get them? Freak. Yeah, you know what? Where are they upstairs? They're all the same. You see any of them? Laugh. We're on in 22, 21. We're live right now, fool. You are not, are we? Yeah, we are. All the stuff is gone out. I thought it was going backwards. Literally, Putin is listening to this. Vrasnaze, buddhul, visighe, sidi. They don't even know they're live. Vratokis, visighe, vitiishi. Spade is all in black again. Spade's looking like a disaster. We went out late. I went to one of those Oscar parties and not much to report, but I did see a few people from the Oscars. It's really like the name drop Olympics. So I will maybe spare people because it's literally just a party where everyone comes over from that. Well, what's your, do you got a hot take? I mean, we promised a hot take. It was in the byline. I went, so on the week, well, I didn't, I just went to a Gaius series party. That's probably the best one. It's a little late. So it's a little desperate and thirsty to go because it's late, but I went over there. I have my hair blow-dried. Woo. Did it look as good as it does now? It looked a little slicker. This is me sleeping on my face for nine hours and a half. What? No. But I saw a lot of people like Jacob and Wartie. Can you mention who? You know who that is? Oh, the Frankenstein guy and also the Weathering Heights guy. Talk about range. Yeah, it's Rosie's favorite, the hottest guy in the world. And he was super tall, so he had that covered. What does this one do? Yeah, big stars, big star alert. Uh-oh, do yours. All right, well this is true. People don't know how high-fi this is. Oh, that's someone if you don't like them, if they're not a big star. Well, this is more like, if like, say the start of our live podcast that's global right now. If it ever starts. Maybe this is my review of the start. Mwah. I know so far we've lost one million viewers. Because of our tepid takes. We promised tepid takes on the... I've got hot takes. Here's a hot take. Shit, yeah, okay. There's, it's so in vogue for women and the pressure on women to be so slender that a lot of women's bodies were so slender that their heads looked gigantic. Oh, lollipop disease. Lollipop disease, yeah. Cause they get a little of that. Yeah. Well, why do they have to show skin and have their panties on and dresses falling off and the men are just in a tuxedo from 1972? I thought the feminist movement accomplished something. I know, it's celebrating bodies Dana, you don't get it. No, I teach his own. I'm just saying, I'm just saying. I mean, you didn't see Conan in, you know, with this low cut thing. I would like to see him in a rhinestone thong. That was sort of on my wish list last night. How did you know, how did you hear about the rhinestone thong? Cause that rumor does about Conan. Cause he wears them in regular life. Well, I'm not gonna cosign that. No, listen to this. So I thought, I'll tell you this. I thought Emma Stone looked great and I thought her dress I just read today took 800 hours Heather. I mean, are these fake numbers? 800, who makes that number up? It just sounds like she looked gorgeous now. Great, she always looks great. That's her thing. And she's married to an Esenel guy, borderline Ty N. Right, he was, what part of Esenel was he? I think he's a writer, I think he's a producer. Oh, okay. Well, that's a power couple. Anyway, they were front row and center. Were they, could they see, could they see Timothy Shalamet? I know, Shamalem and Indon, who I was about to say my first outtake is he's starting to look like a Lordy. Those two guys have a similar look. Well, once you go kind of Beatles 63, kind of curly forward here. Oh, well, yeah, a little bit, little bit. Yeah. Split screen ruins it. Little mustache, messy kind of hair, mappy toppy. Shalamet and a Jordy, what's his last name? Lordy, I had Lordy I think. Oh, Lordy? Yeah, that's what every girl says. That's what I say when I see him. That would get old if it hasn't already. You owe me. But Shalamet stepped in shit, remember? It was kind of a blown out of proportion story about ballet. No one cares about opera and ballet. I think that was, but he was talking to Matthew McConaughey, it was kind of like pulling out those quotes, you know? I'll ride, ride, ride, ride. Yeah, I think just trying to be funny and shit, but it did sort of blow up because it is a rude thing to say. But the funniest part, I didn't know Misty Copeland from the ballet was there last night. I thought it would be Fist of Cuffs. I thought she would throw down. That would have made it a little more interesting. Yeah, you need fist fights in general, mayhem to kind of trend. Okay, we have, someone has said that Delroy Lindo was robbed. I do really like that guy. Was that what, for best supporting actor for Sinners? Yeah, I do like that guy. Who did win it? What, I got a photographic memory. What was it supporting? That might've been Sean Penn. Sean Penn also, this person says Sean Penn doesn't deserve it. But- Sean Penn was at Shae J and Santa Monica. Where was Sean Penn smoking? New York Times says he was in Ukraine. Fuck, he's on that Southwest flight again? God damn, that's a hike. I don't think it was Southwest, but he was, you know, I mean, he could've been right next to Timothy Chalamet. He could've hung out with like Justin Bieber. I mean, he could've said hello to Delroy Lindo. Instead, he's in Kiev. So he's the coolest, he wins. Dude, maybe he got tired of being called a burnt carrot or whatever they call him last night. Nikki went into him. Yeah, he's got that white hair now and he's just like, this and that. But he's always like, I hope I don't win. I'm angry at the awards. I shouldn't be here. Yeah, and just someone who just has apparently no vanity. Like he's, hey Sean, do you wanna put some sunscreen on? I'm good. You know, it's like, he's the coolest because he doesn't care. I do sort of envy that cool shit they have. Benicio's kind of like that too. He doesn't give a fat fuck. They don't give a fuck about these awards shows. But what's happening in Ukraine now? Is there a new Dave and Buster's opening? What's going on over there? Because it feels like I don't see any Ukraine pins. I'm not in the know of what the latest is. Well, it's a little bit off the headlines. There's been another conflict nearby. And you know, so, you've heard. Yeah, was there a lot of politics last night or not? Cause I would kind of dip in and out even though I'm studying it. Politics, nothing. Oh yeah, when are we gonna host? Some viewer just said, when are we hosting Dana? That's a tough gig though, I have to say. No, and to Conan, kudos to Conan, you know, he always comes prepared and he had a good time and he killed it, but you do see how, you know, you're working kind of a corporate date. It's not like a normal and Conan's working it out in clubs and stuff. And it's just that the Oscars, so he's tagging things and keeping them engaged. What do you think's working? You'll like it later, you know. So complicated. Really alive. And then the cold opening was really inspired and worked great. I thought that was interesting. One of these dudes I know did that. He said I did the cold opening and I directed it and then I didn't, and then when I saw it, I was like, oh yeah, it's actually very complicated because going into the movies like Billy Crystal, I always liked that. That's one of the best things you do. Yeah, Billy did that a lot. And this is the, in that spirit. It was great. Is that Amy Madigan? Cause I didn't see him. Amy Madigan and Conan actually. That's a hilarious look. Yeah, because Conan can wear, red hair matches his skin anyway. So he looked very funny. That was a, you know, pre-tape city. And then he came in. But the kids running and this, then they got animated and K-pop. I thought that was clever. It was in the rear view mirror. It's probably hard to do all that. Then they run through. So that's a fake Conan running through. I think so. And then he just pops out. Yeah, he can't turn it around that fast. Yeah. But they were excited to see him. And here, let me see if I can think of my jokes I liked. Mm-hmm. Let me see. You gotta have one joke. AI joke. I like when he said, I'll be, I'm the last human host. It's all AI after this. Cause it's going to YouTube. I like the YouTube commercials popping up. That's what we're gonna have in a minute. YouTube commercials. Which I like. Yeah. And at the very end, if you stayed for the very end, Conan suddenly is in a short film with Jim Downey, our friend, the writer from SNL. Our boss. And he says, you're going to be host for life and takes him down this hallway, kind of like severance into this nondescript office. And then Conan's just all relaxed and then poison gas comes through and they put him in a crematorium. And then they say, next year it's going to be Mr. Beast. Yeah. Now, Dana, you know, if you saw the movies, which I actually didn't. But one battle, that's the end of one battle. So I won't say how it is, but when Downey walked in, I was like, oh, this is a good, this is what he's gonna get in the office. Okay, so it was operating on other lines. Yeah, it was a direct frame by frame of the end. But they could have gotten out early actually, because the Oscars were over. Once Downey came in, I go, oh, this is a good idea. He's gonna do, take him into the office. But Downey, it's great to see. For everyone at home, when I got hired, he was part of the hiring process. He was my writer, head writer, so my direct boss. And I was always trying to impress him. Jim, did you read Gap Gap Girls? And he's like, yeah. Jim would always go in his office because everybody was hounding him. I know he would lock himself in his office. And Schneider would sleep out front. Come on, come on, open up. Making copies, making copies. Okay, here's another joke. Ted Serandos, this is the first time he's been inside a theater. Yeah, and Ted really laughed hard at that. I like Ted laughing at that. Well, you know when he's doing a monologue and that fucking camera comes and the guy sits there and goes like, this should go, oh, fuck, am I in the monologue? How am I gonna react? I'd be like this. I hate jokes about me. Here's another one. Oh, the F1 joke, Brad Pitt. They figured, the plot of the movie is they figure out the way to win is to go faster. It was a nice one. Yeah, it was a nice one. Simple. He pretty much landed very consistently. What's with every? Oh, I don't really get it. Oh, he had a pedophile joke. Pedophile jokes are a tough sell. That's a tough category. Tough category in general. Yeah, I mean, Karlin had a whole album on it, but that's a whole other time. Why can't I read anything I wrote? Hey, everyone, it's Stavros Halakis and I'm here to tell you about my podcast, Stavi's World. Each week we're joined by great guests like Josh Safty, Eric Andre, Caleb Herron, and more. It's sort of an interview show, but really we're just messing around, making each other laugh and hopefully making you laugh while you're washing the dishes or grocery shopping or on a long drive. Plus, I take listener calls where we have honest conversations about dating life and everything in between. Imagine if your therapist was a vulgar degenerate whose office was in a Greek diner. No scripts, no polish, and absolutely no holding back. Listen to Stavi's World wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, everybody, I'm Maury Povich. On my podcast on par with Maury Povich, I'm gonna sit down with the icons, the stars, and the faces at the very center of today's big cultural moments. With everyone from comedians Josh Johnson, Dan Soder, Leigh Ann Morgan, to newsmakers Don Lemon, Joy Reed, Aaron Parness, and so many more. So join me for new episodes every week because nothing is off limits. Great conversations. They're always on par. Follow and listen to On Par with Maury Povich wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, we did, I will say, a tight trim if you must. This is a really fucking lukewarm. You're editing the Oscars now? Yeah, 100%, for 5%. It was only three and a half hours. It was 340, I think. Like the longest in history, right? Could have been. I mean, the first hour there was probably one big award. It was supporting or something. But when you get into, which Farley and I were assigned, is if you're barely making the Oscars, which we were, it was short film and maybe animated something, or animated shorts. I mean, honestly, they should either do it, this sounds rude, do it like the Emmys where they do it the night before and do some of these categories to whip it into a two and a half hour show. More time maybe even for the speeches, but if that's what people like best, but man, those are some of those categories. Yeah, they're just so specific. They had best focus movie, best in focus movie. And they were like 19 people on stage. Oh, the best movie that stayed in focus? Yeah, and there was like, I didn't even know, there's a new category and they showed up. And it was like regular focus and then extra extra and they got the award and there was 20 people on the stage and their moms came up. And that was about a 15 minute segment. So. Yeah. I did like when she said all the women stand up, even though they didn't really show a good shot of the front of like all the girls standing up. Were you there? Did you hear that? Yeah. The thing that went to my brain, maybe I'm from another era, but I said, what could a dude, could a guy say all the men stand up? And then would you stand up? Just the men stand up. Well, I would stand up and they go, you count for two with all your alphas. Oh my God, all that alphanus and testosterone. I'll just, yeah, DHT, you name it. If I host, I'm gonna say all the men stand up and now flex. Yeah. All the men stand up and now take your pants off and your shirts and your suits off and drop for 10. By the way, Channing Tatum looked like he was melting. Am I crazy when he was up there? It was hot up there. Maybe that's a rude comment. I like Channing Tatum, but I thought. No, there was a lot of moisture on people, you know. Something was going on. Yeah. Okay, what else can I tell you? I can't read my own writing. Well. Take a more, oh, when they take a movie and turn it scary, I think that's a good trick in a movie. Like if we ever did a grownups and it's all like funny games and then there's like a murder. Yeah. And then we're like running and we're stuck somewhere at the lake house. That's always kind of cool that you're taking. I think that's, was that what weapons was or that what sinners was? Where you don't know where it's going? Yeah, yeah, it doesn't start out as dark as it gets. And then with weapons, it's sort of lightly weird comedy throughout, you know, but just on the edge. I mean, basically I thought the only light movie kind of was F1. I mean, all the movies were kind of dark. And I talked to Brad Pitt about that last night and I said, next time you make F1, have something kind of dark happen. And he said, that's a good plan. I go, thanks Brad. Cliff Booth will be there. You think he'll be up next year for Cliff Booth? Spinoff of Once Upon a Time. What'd that guy say to you, Spade? About what that would that. Bruce Lee, well, you're not fighting tough guys. Then he has to beat his ass. I think you're, to Bruce Lee, I think you're a little man with a big mouth and you wouldn't be nothing but a stain on Cassius Clay's trunks. Hey, how about we have a little fight? Oh yeah. Best out of two, nothing to the face. Who first gets put on that butt. That's a great plan, Kato. And he takes off the hairpiece. So that movie wasn't nominated this year, that's a masterpiece. But let's give a little love to Paul Thomas Anderson for, because he'd never won before. And I looked at it, Magnolia, there will be blood, Phantom Thread. He didn't win for there will be blood. Nope, nominations up the, Wazoo, but he won. He had a great tuxedo. He's very, he comes across, you know, kind of humble and sort of shy, you know? And he makes these kind of intense movies. I wonder how tough he is on set, you know what I mean? A lot of these directors are fucking tough, but he whipped out a good performance. I saw the female lead, Infinity Chase. I saw her out somewhere, stunner. Well yeah, I mean, anyone can have a temper. I think when, Oh, I've got one. I think when Michael B. Jordan won, they cut away to Conan, cause I think Paul Thomas Anderson grabbed him, tried to hold him from going on the stage cause he thought Leonardo DiCaprio should have won. And then they escorted him out. You know, I like people that don't know what part of this is true. Anna Wintour came out, I knew you were excited about that, but I felt like maybe no one outside that building knew her, but you know, in the general public, she looked like she had my wig on from the Benchwarmer sequel, which we haven't done yet. Well, it's the coolest haircut in a sense that this is Anna Wintour or Toweria fashion that it just covers all the way like this. It's like she's in a little tiny cave and you know, you see her eyes. Like the woman in the Incredibles with the black hair. And Anne Hathaway looked great. First of all, I guess Anna, if she comes out, the idea came out to the song Vogue, funny, gave her jokes. I think she had two jokes. They both seemed to work. In my sophisticated ears. And Anne Hathaway looked great again. Yeah, it was a good hang. It was a good hang. Yeah, and in the in memoriam, it sounds rude, but is anyone alive still? That was probably 22 minutes. It's... It kept going and then people are talking. I'm like, is it a new category? It's like best dead person. I'm like, then Barbara Streisand came in and I go, is this an award for music? Nope. No, I know. When I first met Bob on the set, I'm like, okay. Well, you know my admiration for Robert Redford and his career, but I wish they'd shown his films, you know, behind him, you know, just because I don't think people remember all the president's men are three days to the condor, butch casting Sundance Kid or the way we were, and the natural. The natural. The natural. Sound old, the natural. When we say that is a, to me, old school movie star. Didn't know much about him. See him in the movies. Stud, great looking, good actor. And he's not on TikTok every day. You didn't see movie stars, except maybe at the Oscars, maybe, and that was it. You just didn't see them. So they were like aliens. Okay, let's read a few comments. Oh, we have comments. They want us to interact with this. Let's see what they're saying. I don't know if you know what a live stream is. You're supposed to interact more with it. We got to interact with our Beaverd. This is the first live stream I've ever done, and so I'm willing to take construction. Yeah, turn it over here, let me see. This is how we do it. Ah! Aiden Ross thing, hang on. Okay, I didn't know the Oscars were on yesterday. How is that helping us? River runs through it. That was Brad Pitt and Robert Redford. Yeah, another one, yeah. Directed by Robert Redford. Are you reading these? The Great Waldo Pepper. Hi, David. Yeah, they should have highlighted. I didn't know Redford was this year. I guess he has to be. Okay, here's some good news. Oh, what about Norm MacDonald? Oh, Norm MacDonald brought out two feathers to discuss. My hair is Oscar worthy, and as heard the last two episodes of Cinephobe, they talk about Dicky Roberts and Tommy Boy back to back, no. And we're also rocking salon quality hair. Am I wrong? Well, define salon, because I was not at a salon, this is all me. Do you remember when I did my first commercial parody? No, Chiahed was my first one, but that was the first one I wrote. Remember Chiahed, and then they really made it. And then there's one called Salon, because it was based on Vidal Sassoon's Salon, Finish Salon Shine. And it was just about, if you say the word salon enough, it makes your hair better. It was so fucking dumb. And then they never re-ran it, and I was so livid. I did one too, some kind of hair weird commercial parody with Phil Harbun. Those are good ones for the show. It's a lot of jeans. We had Bad Idea Jeans, which I loved. Three-legged jeans. Then they did Mom Jeans. Jeans is a funny one. Okay, here, someone says that Sinners should have won. Sinners could have won. Best movie. Best director, one battle after another was overrated. Whoa, shots fucking fire. Wow. I was thinking maybe Sinners would have won. So, it's maybe a coin toss at that point. And again, I'm always looking for, sorry, senior alert. I'm looking for a master and commander, you know, a epic, historical epic with Russell Crowe, twice-hawk numbers, twice-hawk ships. I'm looking for, you know... What is Master and Commander good? Incredible movie. I love it. Oh, good, you don't get it. Ships in the 19th century trying to outdo each other. Oh, who's the top three Oscar hosts of all time? This is us engaging. Okay, top three off top of my head. Well, we've got to have Conan, he's our buddy, and he's great, he's, you know, he's done twice. Well, what are you gonna, don't throw Conan under the bed. No, I'm not, I just wanted to be a point counterpoint. I have to rough you up a bit. I would say Billy Crystal, because he was so good for so long. And he did it so long, and I was there sitting right next to Tom Cruise when he came out as Hannibal Lecter, they rolled him out to the... Well, that was a big one. Yeah. That was smart, that was a good bit. So he did it like eight times, Conan's only two right now. Was Carson in the 70s kind of? Bob Hope, you know, Bob Hope in old timey days. God, we're going back out. Did it a lot. But I think, I kind of think that Billy Crystal introduced that kind of level of entertainment. Like he puts himself in movies, and it was like, much more of a big production. He came out on a horse, you know? Yeah. I think Billy Crystal probably... I think Chris Rock did it, I like him, I like Steve Martin. Steve Martin. Did he do it with Martin Short? He did it with Alec Baldwin, I believe. Oh, really? Can't believe my memory. I can't picture him not doing that without Martin Short. I know, so yeah, those guys, I guess your mind goes that, who did it the most times, you know? Yeah. Is it not Conan next year because of YouTube, or is it undecided? I think it's undecided. I'm assuming... Is it Mr. Beast? Well, he's got two billion YouTube followers, so it might be financially a good thing to... But I think that Conan is on a roll. It seems like he owns it right now, and he should do it. Let's do buzzing around. And then we could... And then I have something for you after that. Where's my buzzing around? This is... I like how people go, oh, it's not as smooth as normal. No, this is exactly how shitty it is. We try not to plan it. We don't got anything when we do it, because we're just screwing off. Okay, Dana, we gotta get you ready because... Hang on, here we go. What do you got? We got... It's time for buzzing around. Buzzing around. That's not getting old yet, but it will. Where's my other one that goes, wimp, wimp? Couldn't find it. That's the classic. Okay, I'm gonna give you a scenario, ready? Okay, give me a scenario. No, let me read it. Okay. Okay, this is buzzing around. I'm the fucking worst. Here we go. Okay, it's time for buzzing around, sponsored by 5R Energy. Could've used that during the fucking Oscars. And their fruity rainbow flavor. Treat your taste buds to an explosion of fruity candy flavor with a tasty caffeine kick, Dana. Get candy flavored chaos with fruity rainbow. Your neck name in high school. High school, 5R Energy Shots, online at www.5REnergy.com or Amazon. And now Dana does a made up scenario with impressions. Impressions. So are you driving? Are you at the Oscars? What is your scenario? Well, I think they're... Let's just put them watching the Oscars or something. I don't know. Great. Now, what do you wanna do? Is there a Trump in there? Is there a Biden? Is there a... They'd be good. Patrick Stewart. Patrick Stewart's not in demand, but I'm a huge Star Trek next-gen fan, so. Okay. I'm a hard, yeah. Okay. I'll let you decide. You're the master and commander of this bit. Okay. It's gonna be messy, folks. Sure. Okay. Let's see. I'll start it with Paul. Oh, look, Conan's on there. He's very tall, you know. This is Paul McCartney. There you go, thanks. Timothy, you know, I'm gonna go to the opera. I thought you might wanna go, you know, they're on the toes and they twirl around. You know, it's better than you think, you know. Yeah. Hey, this is Timothy Chalamet. I'd like to do that, man. I'd love to do that with you, dude. Pause. Pause, go ahead. Are you enjoying the show, President Trump? I don't know. And former President Biden? Oh, they're all good. Are you both enjoying it? We're enjoying it. It's the Oscars. The Oscars doesn't get any bigger. I can be nominated, I could do a lot, you know, but the gas prices are coming down. They're coming down, they're coming down sooner than you would believe, right? Biden. Go Biden. Come on. Here we go. Oh, Lord, gas prices, anybody's had. Get your facts straight, Jack. My gas prices was lower than yours any day of the week. Yeah. I guess what? And by the way, the fact of the matter is, my gas prices were lower than yours. Your gas prices were high, Joe, they were high. Everybody knows they were high, they were very high. A lot higher than mine, and I'm gonna get them down. I'm gonna get my gas prices down. You're gonna get a billion gallons for 38 cents. You heard me, a billion gallons. A lawyer, that's the count, no, we do that. What do you think, George W. Bush? George Bush. Oh. You guys talk funny. That's 43. No, that's George Bush Jr. He's 43, isn't he? Is he, yeah, he's 43. Hey, hey, Patrick Stewart or Captain McCart, how you doing? Here we go. Make it show number one. Captain James Bond. Is that Son? They're both Scottish. Yeah. Miss LaForge. Miss LaForge. Who the hell's Miss LaForge? Miss LaForge, he's in the room, he's like Scotty, he takes care of the engines, right, Joe? Yeah, he takes care of all the engines. This is the better than anyone's ever done it. I'm not getting around here. Come on. And scene. The only thing I'll add is when they come into Star Trek, they go, pshh, they open the doors, pshh. Yeah, pshh, pshh, pshh. Make it show, make it show number one. Folks, that was buzzing around. I think the comments are, they're giving us a few easy trims out of that. Sponsored by Five Hour Energy's Fruity Rainbow Flavor. Treat yourself to a candy-like flavor explosion. I know, it was pretty long. Satisfy your sweet tooth. It was in 11 minutes. With this zero sugar treat. Once again, get in on the candy flavored chaos. Online at www.FiveHourEnergy.com or Amazon and we will take a quick break and come right back. Kitty. A great story like Monsters Inc. stays with you forever. And Disney Plus is where you'll find your next great story. From the return of the award-winning hit series, Rivals. Welcome to the naughtiest show on television. To the unmissable crime drama, High Potential. Gotta dead body, gotta go. A lifetime of great stories awaits. This spring on Disney Plus, 18 Plus, subscription required. Teas and seas apply. Was that back to us? Oh, it's gonna do a costume change. Wow, that was like, that was amazing. That was a seven minute commercial. I did nine minutes of the characters talking and then we did a seven minute commercial. That's half the podcast. And we're supposed to engage. It was fans were live to put them. Biden and Trump were still talking during that commercial. Joe. Hey, let's do, they asked if you could do the earthquake Japanese. Coming to the Oscars. Oh, wait, what is he doing? We'll be watching the Oscars. Oh, okay. Dana, if there's an earthquake in Japan during the Oscars. Yeah, this is a Japanese man in an earthquake. And he's talking to his friend and they're talking about the Oscars. Okay, here we go. Science. What's he doing? What's up? What are we doing? What's happening? What's happening? He's having a good time. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.哎哎 fast those good well I was okay now though right he's okay with a little but what oh what an idiot you're off screen something happened I don't know now it's just you on the screen yeah the way I planned it whoo I got a box over here guys got me excited oh no the millions of people online are freaking out they're like oh my god everything when hey where I know well I don't have to get off yet we're still talking right I'll tell them they're asking about the bus boys trailer drop today mm-hmm bus boys trailer day and I gotta get you to watch it I'll send it to you okay I'm just gonna be on the yeah you're gonna figure how to get back on I'll just keep I I wouldn't know how to get back on without what did you do what happened I don't know this is tech problem this thing fell down and then it went up and I was I disappeared was it a real earthquake yeah it was and it was a real Japanese person oh I have to go out and come back okay yeah I believe your house be incredibly entertaining okay okay I'll tell about the bus so we just put the trailer up and people ask about that okay we put the trailer up bus boys comes out in theaters so good you can go buy a ticket now if you go to bus boys movie that's the website calm bus boys movie we're in some theaters we posted the trailer this morning and now we're already filling up the theater so I love it so if you want to go buy a ticket go to bus boys movie and watch the trailer and it's a little R rated and offensive but sometimes that's the way we like it right okay I'm back oh good how's my commercial I was talking about it but we'll make you watch the trailer and then I got excited and then that this is for people worried Japanese man is perfectly fine everything's fine we listen when you do bits like this and you make a hilarious omelet you break some eggs exactly you pulled out your Wi-Fi your Fiji cord your zip check your module your squazz of flasso you're actually no one no one would believe this you're smarter than me and you also know more about this tech than I do I have had to thank God I don't know how to do any of this well it's because I don't have someone right next to me helping me so I'm not like crippled by just always being helped so I had to figure it out I'm my own tech person don't take that out take that part out take it out what he said it's too mean well look at all those movie stars in the audience how many of them have people helping them with tech issues or as you know Shalame I can't get this I'm sorry Kardashian girlfriend I can't get the Wi-Fi working like Shalame I like his ping-pong movie oh I saw mr. one you know what he was wearing Heather I love this he's wearing you might not know this but he bought he invested in trading cards right so I think he bought a Kobe LeBron or a Kobe Jordan signed card yeah he had it around his neck that's what he was wearing that $10 million card oh really there's horrified hilarious I go I wouldn't wear it you know how fast when you're not it's cool I like that expression he needs to go yeah there's that he needs to go that's a great what a great way to look at everything I branded it Travis and Taylor last night they were there at the part party oh Sydney Sweeney does her own tech these fucking comments don't read them anymore oh cuz she's I don't want to hear that she's cuz she's from Spokane Idaho she's a mountain girl boy I got a man whatever she's speaking what you know look great last night is in Daya thank you thank wasn't she stunner she yeah she look cool let me see who else to me more I will I love that she had kind of this camouflage but plants right so it's like she was looking over some but some plant yeah I thought it was cool she just had a big bush you know I will say I know I gotta I liked to me more's outfit the best not not saying Demi more but if they change the name next year the ozempic Olympics it might have the same effect because I've heard men and women are just micro dosing oz and it's yeah like a new thing they're like I just want to lose a couple pounds I just want to lose a little bit of well muscle bone and tissue it's it's getting in my way it's in the peptide family and there's 18 new peptides coming out because Robert Kennedy Jr wanted to release them do I need peptides they'll take your brain younger if you have an injury you know and you they'll heal you and jack me up up or off go ahead Dana why Dana Michael Carvey I was channeling David Phineas spade and your sister is a great musician Phineas Kate spade no no not Kate spade you know you know I was Billy Eilish in that scenario my mother's name was Billy good night mm-hmm what other big headlines are going on peptides are all the rage everyone's taking ozempic for their brain and every other thing in summary well I think the trend is this okay yes so we got AI taking all the jobs all right we got ozempics glp's and peptides making everybody rail thin so it's gonna be a bunch of incredibly skinny people with no job just wandering around and being so so lost they don't eat they lose language they'll just be on the beach yeah they lose muscle fat and language yeah and skills I know people that are huffing you remember people used to huff paint huff paint now they're doing poppers and and not it's not healing what is it I'm closing with these you know I'm talking about yeah I forgot the name they're not yeah they're ripping sniffers I sound like a cop and the they're ripping sniffers are you on blackies yellow jackets bingbongs pop tarts uppers downers greenies beanies do sunglasses make the cool factor go up you look cool I look cool in that commercial you look like shon哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎 Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh. All right, are you reading a comment that I'm canceled? No, I'm reading people asking questions. Are those people? I can't see any. Are those people? Okay. Says Dana Yelinette. Dana Carvey trying out for chips. I mean, the motorcycle TV show? If Sean Penn can go to Ukraine, you can make another Joder movie. Earthquakes are everywhere today. You know what's funny? This is a new thing. Thank you, Heather. That's good. You don't have to break your arms. She's trying to show me in our most fucking end. Oh, she's been sending me messages. When people say, I've heard people because in the news about drones or attacks, they're like, people sort of get cocky and they go, I work at Zara and it's such an American company. I feel like we might get bombed and I'm like, I think you're okay. You know, people think that their thing is so like, such a huge target. Like a target? Yeah. It might be like a port or might be a bridge, but you go, I don't know if it's going to Zara. But I mean, the Oscars, I could see why they'd have extra security because it would be such a great fuck you that, if we lost, you know, the most important people in the world, celebrities. But it would be like a very American thing, like a Super Bowl. That would be if just aliens came down and all those people were taken to another planet in that room, how long would it take to bring new actors and- If everyone in that room just disappeared, now what? Yeah, how long would it take? And I'm asking the people out there, how long would it take to replace all that talent in America? How many people are waiting in the wings? It would really, it would up the chances for bus boys to invest in the movie next year. What if bus boys still didn't get in after all those people disappear? What, look, I'll take, look, you can bet on anything, Pauli Market. I'm going to say right now, that David Spade is going to get nominated for an Oscar for his work in bus boys. For my rat tail wig in bus boys. Yeah, I'm going to show you the trailer after this and we're going to sit in a room and drive out there and show it to you on my Instagram. And then it's in probably 50, 100 theaters, so. I should show it at the end of this. Oh, I should show it. 50 theaters. You know, we'll see how it, I don't know if we can show it here, we can show it when it goes on, when we post it. Is that how to do it? All these rules of what you can show. Well, I don't know if I know how to do it, that's how stupid I am. You can go right now to busboysmovie.com and watch the trailer or my Instagram. And then it. Or bus boys Instagram. Yeah, it's bus boys movie though. Can you see it on YouTube? Yeah, I think so, oh no, yeah. Sure. Jeez. Bus boys movie is the website, Heather's looking at right now. Is this movie being hidden from the public or something? I know, I don't know. We honestly don't know what we're doing. We put our poster, we got like millions of hits. Okay, you just go to YouTube. Oh, bus boys official trailer. Okay, good. Okay, great. Oh, that's on, oh, it's on Theos. Yeah, go on Theos thing. YouTube channel? Theos YouTube channel. Yeah. Okay. Okay, good, you'll see my rat tail. All right, so go to that. And then we're almost done here, right? Dana, what do you wanna talk about? I think so. I'm just excited about bus boys. Millions of views for the trailer. Millions of people saw the poster. And now 85,000 people shared it on the Instagram. That's a lot for my. I don't wanna jinx it, but I'll just say this. When's the last time there was a really, really kind of big, well, like a silly comedy? Like just a, it's like a 90s movie in a sense. Like just trying to be funny. Or does it have any lesson in it? The lesson is, I mean, we're buddies in it. It's just a buddy comedy. We're bus boys. We're kinda losers. Sort of typical, we work in sewage and. Lovable losers go on an adventure. Yeah, Theo was hit by a car at a young age. So he's kind of off. A little off. And then at the end, I don't wanna give it away, but this is my guess is at the end, they're offered waiter jobs. And they become waiters and they're super happy. You didn't read the script already, did you? I wrote the script. No, that's funny you think that. That's funny. Well, when you're a bus boy, you wanna become a waiter cause that's where the money is. And I was a bus boy. I don't make movies about it. I was. And my girlfriend leaves me for a waiter and I'm like, we gotta just be bus boys for a couple of days then we'll be waiters. So easy. And then it's harder than we thought. Okay. Since I'm guessing the plot. No, and then it's so many twists and turns Dana. This movie is like inception. This movie is like, you know, avatar. It's so many. And anytime during the movie, are you cradling Theo's head and you're slapping his face going, they're on their way dude, just hang in bus boy. Hold in there. Don't go to sleep. That's about 20 minutes of the movie in the middle. Do you ever scream at him at Theo and pointed him and you're out in a desert alone. You scream at him, plant your foot and go, don't you quit on me. Eddie. Yeah, I go, don't you quit on me. And then I go, actually we do all the most typical things, but it's R rated. So that's very enticing to all. R rated. Yeah, it's slightly offensive, but not really. But you know, it's sort of like old school when you grew up and you go to the theater with your stupid friends and watch a movie. It's a small budget. So don't look for big fireworks. Funny doesn't cost money. People spend so much money on comedy movies and you can make an incredible laugh for like a nickel. Fools. Okay, what's that message? Corgeingly, I'll read this. David, if someone had to pay a nickel for this show they wouldn't, that's the funniest part. They go, I love your podcast. Would you pay a nickel for it? No. Your cordially invited on prime was so awesome. What are you, what's that? Well, it says- Your cord, was that something we did? You read that Heather, what does that mean? Yeah, someone just was telling R rated movies Oh, Ricky's to Nikki, they liked it. Oh, Santino was in that. Oh, Ricky's. And I just golfed with Santino. They were just making a point. Yeah, R rated movies are fun. I think if it was on a streamer, great. If it's in theaters, great. This one's in the theaters for now and then it'll go to video. Well, eventually everything sits on the metaphorical library shelf, like every- Yeah, you'll be able to- You'll be right next to Gone With The Wind. Yeah. What? Oh, with that one? Well, what about Neal and was he at the Oscars? Is that the question? Yeah, people- Oh yeah, was Neal at the Oscars? I think so. He was part of a documentary that got nominated. I don't know if his documentary won. Yeah, Neal was there for reels. You see all the documentary people screaming in the back every time they mentioned documentary. That was a good show. I know. They did that. Cause it really got attention. Yeah, Conan threw him. Jimmy Kimmel accidentally was there. He wasn't the host. He shouldn't have been there. There was a big mess up. Yeah, they should have told him ahead of time and then they gave him that little segment. I mean, that's just bad form. And they were, he was like, everyone's like, dude, you're not hosting, God. Why are you here, Rah? All right, anybody else good at the parties? No, it was just everyone from the Oscars. But I swear to God, the whole point was to talk to Chris Rock about something for the summer. He never showed up. And then I saw a Nikki Glaser, of course. My buddy from the Caesar's shows. And she came when I left. I'm such a colossal puss. I stayed up all the way till 12, Heather's baffled. I stayed at this thing till 12. Must've been a hell of a party to get you to stay. It was just getting going. I felt like I was in some weird freak off, but it was really just every, you know, guy who's serious, great party. It's super fun. I took a picture in the picture room. Thirsty. And then they bring you back. Hey, we'll get a picture for, I don't know what, I don't think they really... Hey guys, one more guys, okay? Hey guys, real quick. Psh, psh, psh. That's you at the SNL 50th year. Psh, no. New York Magazine. Me and Bill Hader and Dan Aykroyd skipped that little shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. No, the fucking New York Magazine photo shoot. Oh, that one where I was with Molly Shannon, my best friend. Yeah. And I was, I stole this jean jacket from that shoot. That's all I have to wear. Yes, and Marcelo is mad at you. And quickly Marcelo did do Sebastian again. And then Sebastian was there last night too. I should have asked him, but it was funny. It was, and Harry Styles then does Sebastian. And the way he did it was really funny. Cause you don't expect it. I didn't see that part. He was playing very kind of shy straight guy in some of the other sketches. And then in that one, he got to unload it. And it was actually... Oh, did he get into it? Made me laugh really hard. Oh, that's a funny idea. And of course Marcelo is in the pocket. He did another four foot vertical leap over somebody. His physicality is amazing. I mean, yeah. All right, we'll wrap up and then out. Thanks for coming on. We're going to start our regular podcasts in five minutes. And that one will also be... Thanks everybody. This was a good test run. This will never air. No one will ever see it. We understand now it's supposed to be interactive. And we want to see what you're saying. We couldn't really, we'll figure that out. We have to get a zip drive cord. Okay, people say buh-bye. Very Don Felder. That must be you. Dana could be lead guitarist for the Eagles. Good job. And that's it. Keep doing it. We like it. And testing one two. Thank you for... Yeah, now they're just getting there cramming it in. Okay, Dana, it's nice meeting you. I will see you around the campus. Yeah, I'll be over in about 10 minutes. Okay.