Confidence Classic: Break Free from Limiting Beliefs with Heather David, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist

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Visit whatnot.com slash sell to start selling. When you are now judging your brother and sister, you are opening yourself up for that judgment, and you are not coming from your powerful self. So we can't control what everyone else does, but we can control what we do. And it's not about perfection. We're human. When you realize we're all the same, we're all connected. Your confidence goes up because you're like, I can be with anybody. I can be around anybody because no one is above me and I'm not above anyone. Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. Tell me, have you been enjoying these new bonus confidence classics episodes we've been dropping on you every week? We've literally hundreds of episodes for you to listen to. So these bonuses are a great way to help you find the ones you may have already missed. I hope you love this one as much as I do. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so excited for you to meet our guest today. Heather David is a clinical hypnotherapist and a certified advanced rapid transformational therapist. Heather's office is located in Corona Del Mar. Her clients benefit from her expertise in regression based hypnotherapy, which allows them to tap into childhood scenes to discover what limiting beliefs are affecting their relationships, careers, and happiness. She loves working with teens and young adults since she has firsthand knowledge of the issues they are faced with in today's stressful social and educational environment. Heather, thank you so much for being here. You're welcome. Thank for having me. This is great. Thank you. Well, I'm so excited. I want to share a very dear friend of both of ours, Lou Parker from KTLA TV introduced us during one of her live events. I had the pleasure of hearing you deliver a keynote at the event, which really impacted me in such a big way. I want to get into that, but before we jump into what you did that day and how powerful it was, I wanted to ask, how in the world does someone get into the line of work that you are now in, Heather? Well, I guess there are many paths. Mine was about six, seven years ago. My kids were getting older. I knew they were going to be out of the house. I would be an empty nester. I decided that I needed a career for myself. I had a career for 12 years in the financial planning area, stopped my career, raised my girls, and then I thought, I need something else for myself. I actually was going through my own struggles of finding myself and my identity and what am I going to do in this next chapter of my life? I went to a hit the therapist. Somehow I was steered towards a therapist. I had done traditional therapy, but then this was something new. When I went to see this woman, she kind of, as we were talking, said, have you thought of doing hit the therapy yourself as a career? I thought, no, I could look into it. She referred me to Marisa Peer from London who started RTT rapid transmission therapy. For about a year, I listened to Marisa Peer's recordings and videos, and I loved her message. A big belief she has and puts out there is, I am enough. It's really a powerful and confidence building, this concept of I am enough. I just decided I'd love to learn more. She was coming to California for the first time in 2017 to teach. I went to Malibu and I took her course, worked with her for a few weeks, long days, took a test, and said, this is what I'm going to do. Then I started a practice, opened my office in Grenadalmar, started just helping people. I really didn't have a niche. It was like whoever needed to come to me. I found that I was getting a lot of referrals, and a lot of people were coming for anxiety and confidence, little bit of smoking and habits, which wasn't really my favorite thing to do. I really like working with people where I'm showing them their personal power. When I meet with someone and I talk to them and they come to me with, this is what my problem is. What I see is their power. I see all the things they can do. That's what I do is I work with them and showing them how to overcome those limiting beliefs that maybe started when they were young. What Marissa Peer taught me was age regression hypnosis. You take the person back to a younger time in their life when some of these beliefs were imprinted. It's not like the parents tried to do this to their kids or the teachers or people around them that influenced them, but the kids pick up these ideas based on personality, based on their age, what's going on in their life, and these beliefs get imprinted at different times. When you go in with hypnosis, you can go back to those memories, those situations, and look at them and turn them around from a point of, now you're a powerful adult. You can stand out for yourself. You have a voice. You can run away from that bully. You can call the authorities. I mean, showing them how that's not me anymore. This is who I am now. That's what I learned through Marissa Peer and that's what I've been doing for the last several years with my practice working with people. I also do tapping. That's another tool. I have different tools that I use with my clients, depending on what they need, but hypnosis is very, very powerful. Really can help get to the crux of the problem. I think a lot quicker than talk therapy. I'm not putting down talk therapy. I've gone to talk therapy. There are great talk therapists out there, and there are times in your life when you need that. I just know that when I take someone into their first appointment in an hour and a half, I can get into very deep feelings. I mean, I have many people with tears in their eyes, and they're not reliving, but they're reviewing what they experienced, and they're getting it out. What Marissa Peer says is, where tears flow, healing goes. I think bringing this up, these emotions, really, it's a healing experience. I couldn't agree more. I actually went through hypnotherapy myself many different times in my life. I've had very profound experiences, not only remembering things that I hadn't remembered had occurred, which was number one, because some of us just want to forget the past, block out the past. My mind was able to do that for whatever reason, but I was able to uncover things that were there that I wasn't aware of. Like you said, once we uncovered it, we could review it. I don't want to say redesign it, but we could see it in a different light, where like you said, now I'm separate from that memory. That memory isn't stuck inside of me, hidden somewhere. That is a separate time in my life, and I am no longer in that position. That was incredibly empowering. I'm sure you've had some amazing experiences with your clients. Yes. It teaches them that that experience doesn't have to have a hold on them any longer. There's a lot of inner child work that's done in a session. You're uncovering the hurts, you're uncovering the limiting beliefs, and then you're taking that inner child and you're nurturing it from who you are today, because you have the availability, all the skills, all the know-how to nurture that inner child in you. You realize, wow, I don't need anybody to do this for me. I don't need my parents around me 24-7 anymore. I just need myself. I can do this for myself. That's why it's just so helpful. It can be life-changing, and it really depends on the person and the path they're on. I don't feel like I'm the vessel to bring this information and to help them. Sometimes people walk away and I don't hear from them again, and I don't really know what their journey is after that. Other people come back, other people refer more people, so everybody's on their journey. I don't know if this is going to unlock things for them in that moment, or if they're going to remember it six months from now and say, now I'm ready. I don't know. I'm with them during that hour and a half, and then whatever happens after that, they may come in again or again. I just work with them. I meet them where they are because everybody's different, and it's not an ego thing for me. It's not a victory or a loss. I'm there to help these people in whatever way I can. Like you said, one of the things that I really like about it is it's an alternative to traditional talk therapy, which can be very—that's a long journey. I've done traditional talk therapy. I studied psychology in college. It's fantastic, but that's not something where you're going to have a light bulb moment in an hour and a half session. We all know that. And again, it's not something to discourage people to do it. I'm all for it, but this is a very different, shorter window to get some timely results if you're open-minded enough to do it. Now, I would imagine you do run into people who are not open-minded to the idea of hypnotherapy. Yes. If you don't want to be hypnotized, you won't be. It's just like anything. If your conscious mind does not want to take anything in, you're not going to. So you have to be open. So I don't take people who are referred by other people. Like if a parent wants their child to come and the child is not interested, I don't meet with those kids because nothing's going to happen. If I have a spouse referring their spouse and that spouse that comes in isn't interested—I mean, I checked these things before, but the person that is coming to me is usually at a point where sometimes they've tried all the therapy and nothing's changed, or they've had a friend that did hypnosis, or they've heard about it, and they're in pain. They're in a lot of pain, and they want to get out of pain. And those are the people who have the best results. If you are in more pain and committed to changing, or if you're not in pain, but you're committed to enhancing your life, you just want to exceed where you are today. That's another use of hypnosis, too. Just to empower yourself even more to embody your greatness. So that's another way. It doesn't have to be because you're in pain. It doesn't have to be because you're anxious. You can also just, like, I just want to be even bigger and bolder than I am today. So that's another thing. But I do have a lot of teenagers and adults that come to me for confidence, and we do look at their past and see, are there some blocks? Are there some limiting beliefs that they're not worthy, they're not lovable, whatever? But I also give them a formula that's very practical for just applying in every day with confidence. Because with confidence, you have to put yourself out there, no matter what. Like me doing this podcast, I haven't met with you before. So there's a little bit of anxiety. Now, that anxiety, I have to use and say, I'm going to use this anxiety, and I'm going to do this podcast because I want to benefit from this. What is my benefit? Well, I want to be able to do more podcasts, and I have to be able to put myself in this situation to then do the next one, and the next one, and the next one. I've got to build on that. So I'm going to be courageous and put myself in here instead of sitting on my couch and eating bonbons, because I could do that too. This is how I'm going to use my time. So what I tell my clients is when you go into a situation that is nerve wracking for the first time, apply the formula. The formula is first, you have to have hope. Let's apply it to a job interview. I want this job. So I go in, I have to have hope that I'm going to get the job. Then you add to that trust. I trust that I have the skills, I have the capability, so I know I can put myself in that position and trust that I will do a good job if I get that job. Now, you divide that by humility, because something could go wrong. We can't control everything, and we have to be able to say, that's going to be okay. I could go in and I could have my blast on backwards and not realize it, right? But I'm just going to laugh through that or whatever. It's humility. Now, you take all of that times, courage. Courage is what you're using to get yourself to this next place. I want to get this job. I'm going to put myself in this position that is not comfortable for me, because I want the next level. I want where that's going to take me. So if you apply that formula to anything in your life, and I gave this to a college soon to be graduate, because he was going to be out there interviewing and all that. And so it was like, okay, I have something in my back pocket now. I have something that I can take with me and apply this concept into any situation I go into, to give me that confidence. It's nice to know that there are some real world formulas that you can count on and apply. And then it gives you confidence. That's where you get more confidence when you're applying the confidence formula. Scaling and business takes the right expertise at the right time. Upwork helps growing teams quickly bring in specialized freelancers so you can move faster and take the business to the next level. Hiring help shouldn't be a headache or a drain on your budget. 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I love the work that you do really gets to these self-limiting beliefs because as you've mentioned before it's great to take things on but if you're struggling and really dealing with this idea that you aren't enough or that you aren't worthy how are you really going to be able to get to that next level and when we first met doing that virtual seminar that we were both a part of one of the things that you did was you shared a tapping exercise and we did it all of us live and I know a lot of people were extremely emotional. I luckily have done tapping before for years of my life so I knew I wouldn't be emotional but I wanted to do it because I hadn't done it in a while and Heather it was so funny I was going to speak literally minutes later on a live in person stage in Orlando and I was running out the door I was kind of stressed out about oh I hope I have enough time to get over there and then you took us through that tapping and it completely changed how I felt and when I got to the event it was funny someone backstage said to me the opening speaker at the beginning of our conference was incredible don't you feel a little bit nervous following up after that guy and sometimes maybe I would have you know started getting a little nervous or sweaty. I had zero reaction and I know for certain that is a result of the tapping work that we did right before I went over to the venue and it really struck me because that's a different response. Typically I would get a little nervous if someone was giving me a hard time like that you know I might start getting flustered or sweating a little bit but none of that happened and it was just not only was it powerful for me to see how everybody else at the event responded you know some people with tears and a lot of emotion but that I thought oh I've done this a million times no big deal and here it was it triggered me in a very positive way that I was able to get rid of any self-limiting beliefs that I had. Yeah that's great well because it calms down your nervous system and it brings you into the present moment so when you're in the present moment and you're out of your head you're not worried about the future and you're not thinking about the past because they don't exist anyway so when you're getting ready to go on stage and you're not thinking about you're in your moment you are breathing you're in the present and you're walking up on that stage if you're in your head thinking about the future like how am I going to do well that's future thinking and it's not real it's not even real it doesn't even exist the only thing that exists is what you're doing in that moment breathing getting yourself ready to go up there to share what you have to share to connect with the people in the audience that's real time that's all we have and that's all you had in that moment and you are connected to it so you took yourself out of that future anxious thinking and you were in your power and so you probably went up there and did a fantastic job because you were embodied in that moment you were feeling who you were at that time and when you're connected to yourself you can be connected to your audience if you're in your head thinking about how am I doing you're not connected to yourself and you can't connect to the people out there and it's obvious because we've all seen speakers who you know it's like you just don't get the same reaction when you you know you you don't feel the same about them you feel like they're just kind of not there maybe they're thinking about their script and then you have other speakers who they're in the zone they're in the flow like an athlete where it's real time that's all they have is the now they're just it's like a download they're getting a spiritual download you know they're just they're creating in the second as they're talking there's a big difference when you see people like that there's a huge difference and we all see it in business we see it in meetings at the office when someone has to stand up to speak to lead something and they're thinking ahead or thinking what other people are thinking of them or doubting themselves versus just speaking their truth there is a profound difference so I'm hoping that you'd be willing to take us through that example of how we can do and I'll also mention the style of tapping that you taught me that day was different than the way I had done it in the past and it was incredibly powerful great well I taught everyone faster tapping so I guess because everybody is in such a hurry which is you know just the way the world is right now faster tapping is just as effective as the longer version and just as powerful and it's easier I think to learn and to teach and so it's good for these this kind of a venue so really all we're doing is we are tapping the meridian points the acupuncture points and the body and we are making verbal statements at the same time so tapping has its roots in modern psychology and the ancient chinese medicine of acupuncture acupressure so just to start everybody out what we would do is tap on five points the five points are in between the eyebrow outside of the eyebrow under the eyebrow the soft part of the collar bone and then we're going to keep repeating that as we say the statements and I'll just kind of give you an idea of what statements we're going to run through and then at the very end you hold your wrist either wrist and you breathe in and out and you say peace that process calms down the nervous system and obviously what we talk about too in the verbal sentence so you can use it for anything like today we could do a quick I am enough kind of a short script just to give everybody an idea typically what I do is I have people rate their anxiety at the time of how they're feeling in their body so on a scale of zero to 10 zero being I'm so calm I'm practically asleep and 10 being I'm revved up I'm anxious and then somewhere in between so you give that a number so just think about well how do I feel right now I'm about an eight I'm feeling you know a little little nervous about something coming up and so once you rate it you have that idea because we're going to rate it at the end so then what I'd like to do is have everybody hold their wrist think of something that they love like you can use a person you can use a pet pets are easy because they're unconditionally loved close your eyes and have the thought of that person or animal in your mind for a few seconds let's just do that now close your eyes and think of the loving thoughts you have of that person or animal feeling like that energy is coming from your heart towards that person or animal getting that loving feeling as it grows and now take a deep breath in and out and say peace and now open your eyes so you've kind of locked in that really beautiful feeling you've connected to your heart center so that when we finish everything you're going to do that again so let's start and just do the tapping and so we're going to as I say a sentence you don't have to tap hard you just lightly tap you know could be five to seven taps whatever it takes until we move on to the next one and we'll do four sentences and keep rotating one sentence second third sentence fourth sentence and keep rotating like that and does it matter if someone uses a left or right hand it can be the right or left side I use the right because I'm right-handed so it's makes sense for me but it doesn't matter let's see why don't you say it out loud usually if it's a lot of people everybody's muted but I'll say it I'm gonna go through my script I wrote for I am enough and then I'll say it you repeat it we'll keep moving on until the end let's begin you've you've rated how you feel now and let's begin even though even though part of me part of me believes part of me believes I'm not enough I'm not enough I choose to relax now I choose to relax now I've had this belief I've had this belief for so long now for so long now I'm open to letting it go I'm open to letting it go even though even though this belief is so deep this belief is so deep I can't imagine letting it go I can't imagine letting it go I can relax now I can relax now and open to the possibility I'm open to the possibility of letting this old belief go of letting this old belief go all this pain all this pain from feeling not good enough from feeling not good enough where did I learn it where did I learn it from teachers from teachers caretakers from caretakers bullies bullies it's painful to think about it's painful to think about yet right now right here yet right now right here I am safe I am safe I can be vulnerable I can be vulnerable it costs me a lot to believe that it costs me a lot to believe that I am not enough when and where did I decide it when and where did I decide it it drains my life it drains my life to believe I'm not enough to believe I'm not enough I begin to let it go I begin to let it go and all the memories attached to it and all the memories attached to it it's in the past it's in the past and right now and right now I can begin again I can begin again to build thought by thought to build thought by thought emotion by emotion emotion by emotion the belief that I am enough the belief that I am enough I feel it in my body I feel it in my body and in my mind and in my mind I am enough I am enough I'm doing the best I can I'm doing the best I can and that is enough and that is enough I will still make mistakes I will still make mistakes but I will still be enough but I will still be enough all is well now all is well now knowing the truth knowing the truth that I am enough that I am enough will you rest take a deep breath in and out peace peace meet a different guest each week you've seen the buzz but let me give you the inside scoop live shopping on what not is exploding right now I've watched the shows firsthand I've seen what not climbed to the top of the app store 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talk with a real person who knows all the ins and outs of small business lending don't risk your business on unreliable lenders go to nerd wallet com slash confidence to find the funding you deserve fundera ink n m l s id number one two four zero zero three eight and now rate it again see where you are on that spectrum of zero to ten i'm on a zero right now okay great that's great and and if a person is above a two I would say run it again you just go through it again and if you don't have a script you can just verbally say how you're feeling you know letting this go letting it go you can kind of repeat letting it go feeling this pain wanting to let it go you know just you can kind of make up your own script I would go through it again and then rate it again and say okay am I a two or lower because you really want to get down to a two or lower now sometimes people like you you just got to zero you're feeling great it's wonderful and then when something comes up again you just go through it again and get yourself into the now into the present moment a lot of the present moment happens with your breathing and so this is you're slowing down your breathing you're slowing down your brainwaves you're relaxing your full system and when you get to that point that's where you get the closest to the zone when you get into that that state and I really think this thought of I'm not enough goes into judgment not only about yourself but about other people and I believe that a reason why a lot of people don't have confidence is because they're harshly judging themselves and they're judging other people so if you don't allow judgment in and you say I'm not going to judge anybody therefore they cannot judge me because I don't judge them it's like a two-way street if I think that it's not worthy of me to judge other people why would I think it would be okay for other people to judge me so if you can take judgment off the table your confidence will go way up and that's a huge part of this is just getting rid of those limiting beliefs which is they're all self judgments yeah that I love what you just said about I've been very self-aware and intentional not to judge others I'll be in a workout class and someone's very is very heavy next to me and immediately I think oh gosh you know that person shouldn't eat so much this is what pops into my head people I'm not making you know I don't want to be there and I have to stop myself and say you know what Heather you could be proud of them for being here they're trying to be healthy you know cheer them on so I've really made a concerted effort to not be the judge anymore because of what you're saying I don't want to allow that judgment into my life or live a life concerned what other people are thinking of me so I can challenge myself to see another more you know positive or neutral way to be accepting and just aware and you know what everybody judges work that's part of being human part of being human is our ego right ego as in our ego mind versus our spirit and soul our ego mind that drives us and disconnects us and separates us from other people so our our judgments are separating us from other people and that's our our humanness which we are always trying to overcome we're all taught judgment from the day we're born that's what we're taught there's a difference between judgment and discernment discernment is okay because that's like yes I like this no I don't but when you're judging moralistically saying you know they're overweight so they're for they're lazy they're you know that's what happens and that separates us so especially like these days you know people have really gotten into judging and criticizing each other for choices for decisions and it's so it's separating everybody and I think it's weakening everybody because when you are now judging your brother and sister you are opening yourself up for that judgment and you are not coming from your powerful self so we can't control what everyone else does but we can control what we do and it's not about perfection we're human you go in a workout class and in your automatic reaction is that because you have been conditioned socially and from your upbringing and all these other factors so what you can do is say okay this is familiar to me this is something I do but this is something that I am now awakened to and aware of and I want to change it and so you don't have to beat yourself up because again that's judgment all you have to do is say okay I'm aware of it and I am making changes so I haven't been able to stop saying that yet but I will because this is something a goal of mine I'm working towards this non-judgment and I'm observing it and that is the first step is of observing your own judgments that you're you're having so when you get more compassionate with other people because if you know they're judging you think I know what that's like because I do that too and I'm really working hard not to do it and then we can be more self-loving when we don't have to be judging and scrutinizing ourselves right and we can be more confident because when you take that all the way and you realize okay we're all the same they're not above me I'm not below them I'm not above them they're not below me we're all on this same spiritually we're on the same level I mean this person might be a better tennis player than me but that doesn't mean they're above me on a spiritual level so when you realize we're all the same we're all connected your confidence goes up because you're like I can be with anybody I can be around anybody because no one is above me and I'm not above anyone so I'm not going to be intimidated by them I'm going to see what can I learn from them and what can they learn from me oh it's so powerful Heather everyone's going to want find a way to communicate with you get a hold of you where can people go to get more information and more of your teachings probably my website newporthypno.com that would that would be the best place well Heather thank you for the work you're doing making the world a better place one person at a time one teaching at a time I know you've made my world better so thank you so much for being here thanks Heather it was it was great I really enjoyed it today and yes I'm glad I could share all that with you all right guys check in the show notes I'll definitely link Heather's website and press rewind listen to this again go through that tapping with us again I'll also put a link to make sure you get the video until next week keep creating your confidence you don't stop and look around once in a while you could miss it I'm on this journey with me