Breakups, Bankruptcy, and Becoming a Mother - with the Abbys

Raise the rudder, raise the sails, raise the sails! Captain and unidentified ship approaching, over! Roger that, wait, is that an enterprise sales solution? Meet sales professionals, not professional sailors, with LinkedIn ads. You can target the right people by industry job title and more. Start converting your V2B audience into high quality leads today. Spend 200 pounds on your first campaign and get a 200 pound credit for the next one. Go to LinkedIn.com slash lead to claim your offer. Terms and conditions apply. I've never felt like I was drowning. And you were like, we're gonna file for bankruptcy. Yeah. And I was like, I was not a partisan already, but I did go to a frapp party. Dressed as Tom's Jefferson. I said, I'm gonna break up with my boyfriend for that guy. You've cut to the chase first. You're gonna go with me. I was like, I was even mad. I was like, sweet. I'm gonna go out your cave out. I was like the least boy crazy girl. But I feel like when you tell me stories from high school, you always had a guy. I'm just like struggling a lot with fear all the time. I thought this was gonna be light hardest. 60,000. Depression. I can't wait to see what 2020 says. It's not a snort. Always here to share the hope and the heart with heart and humor. Welcome back to always here. I'm your host Abby Howard and Abby Howard. And we are here to share the hope and the heart with heart and humor. Yes. I feel like we're already starting to get into a flow here. I do too. That's way more natural than the first time. It's getting better for me. What's it gonna be three years from now? Rose. We're gonna fall asleep on camera. Yeah. The woods just fell out in my mouth. So boring. Okay. What is your hope? Let's start with my hope. My hope. Actually, this is really exciting. So we moved into our house almost a year and a half ago. And we've been slowly doing some house renovations. And there's one in particular I really wanted to do. And Caleb does all of them. Kind of like a little picky juicy of when he wants to do them and not. We are building out a fireplace. Yay. I remember you said at Christmas time you were like, can you just get this up here? By Christmas. It was like the day before. I mean, a man's over Christmas. I'm like, hello, we need some talking. He wasn't too keen on that timeline. Yeah. He's been watching videos. He's only convinced him. And it's happening. It's electric. Yeah, we've found it was kind of hard to decide what shape we wanted to do. I feel like the long skin, yeah, we had to do electrics. We don't have gas or a house and we don't have a chimney. The long skin here once felt more modern. So we're going with the square, because our house is not that modern. And, yeah, we found one for like 50 bucks, a Facebook marketplace. We will see if that is the one that we stick with. Well, it doesn't even need to produce heat really here. and Arizona just needs to turn on. Yeah, I just need to turn on. And it has like a nice looking log. I was like, they're really nice ones at Home Depot that if this doesn't work, we'll go pick one out. But it's kind of a steal. But it does whistle. Like it's just plugged in and it whistles all the time. So if Kiel can't fix that, we feel like going to the five-inch door. Whistles? Yeah, almost sounds like a cricket. Almost like the electric is going into it or something. Even when it's turned off, off and plugged in. That's when it crickets. OK, so. I'm excited to see how this turns out. It's a hope. You know we're hopeful. It is a hope. But I think it's going to look really good. I'm excited. That's exciting. Yeah, it's fun getting to do like house projects. That's awesome. Well, it's fun getting to tell Kiel to do the house. Right. And you get to experience them when they're there. Yeah, exactly. That's awesome. That's my hope. It's been fun. I love that he's handy like that. Oh, that's the best husband ever. Kiel, I love you. Uh-huh. Keep doing it. Keep doing it. Really quick, I wanted to hop in here to just say, we produced this podcast for free to you guys. So I think it would just be a very kind gesture. If you took the time right now, five seconds to just hit follow, subscribe, heart, like it, basically just show whatever platform you're on that you enjoy or show and that you intend to come back. We would really, really appreciate that. And yeah, here's your five seconds. One, two, three, four, five. OK, thank you. Thank you so, so much. We really, really appreciate it. And thank you in advance. Let's get back to the show. Well, my hope is because, OK, so Matt's Christmas gift to both of his brothers and his dad was to go to Epic Universe. Yeah, that's so fun. Which was funny, because when Matt told Kiel, but you told me later, you were like, I know Kiel was giving him not a reaction right now. I know he's just only going to watch YouTube videos about Epic Universe for the next few weeks. For sure. Like, talk about it the whole time. He gets so, I was like, that sweet. I don't know him so well. And no, I think he was excited. And so they're all going. And I was like, well, now I feel like I kind of want to do something fun while you're gone. And so I think I'm going to take the kids at Disney Land. Oh my god. I don't know why. I was really driving. I was like, that's making me so excited right now, just like planning it. And it's my, you're just going to go for two days. We got passes. And so I'm like, I've got to use them. I've got to make them worth it. And so, or any way, I think my parents are going to come with me too. And I'm really excited. They can't go to Universal and you not go to the competitor. Like, you've got to let Disney know you're still loyal. I told Griffin. Yeah. And I was like, I want to go with Daddy to Epic Universe. And I was like, I understand. I was like, but it's for really big kids and grown-ups because the rides are crazy. And he's like, and kind of scary. I was like, yeah. He's like, let's go to the kids rides. Oh. It looks sweet. Yeah. But he does go on the big rides. So anyway, I feel like I'm always time out Disney, but I really am looking forward to it. And my heart is kind of serious. So I'm switching gears. I knew that I was going to laugh when I said my heart this week, because it is just really intense. But so just know that it is hard. I just dissociated. I'm a ghost. I'm just struggling with fear recently. So like, that's, I just like struggling a lot with fear all the time. And like, I feel like I can't really quite get a break from it. Like, I feel like I have it during the day. And then I have it at nighttime, like when I'm sleeping. And so just trying to get through this season and like, try to like, address it. Like, I feel like when I was like not acknowledging the fear is when it was like popping up a lot at night. And so then I'm like, I got to just like acknowledge it and then move on and find a way to do that. But like, that's way easier. So that's my heart. I feel like you've been so, I've been very impressed with the way that you've processed your emotions, your feelings, the residual feelings of everything after the loss. I feel like you've done such a really good job. And you're so wise when you share things. Like, I don't know. I'm just like, wow, you have it. I feel like you've done a really good job of processing and sorting it in your mind. And then when you share it, I'm like, wow, that, I wouldn't have expected that, but that makes sense. You know, like the way that you talk about it, I'm like, thank you. That's really nice. Yeah, you're very clear headed on these, yeah, the reality of this. That's nice. That's really nice. I'm sorry. You've been struggling. Kind of unexpected, you know, but it's not one of those things. It's like super quick. And I knew that. And then here we are. Like, you're like, oh, a few months later, still, you're like just in different ways experiencing it. I did think of another hope though, too. One more thing that this has also been healing for some of this fear is we're celebrating one of our close friend, Val, who's probably listening to this, so shadow bell. Her baby shower this weekend. And that has been so genuinely fun to plan. And I'm like so excited for it. You're going all out. I am. I'm really excited about it. I was like telling Matt to, I was like, I know this is like a little excessive, but why is it so fun and so healing to do this too? Because we said we were pregnant at the same time. And like we had due dates week apart. And I don't know, something about this whole, like planning it. It's been, it's just been great. So like that is like a hope for me. Totally. Is that a day? That's sweet. I know. You told us that you were pregnant. I was there when you were able to come out together. Yeah, yeah. So that's fun. And even think about that with this party. Yeah, yeah. I didn't think about it. So I was like, why am I really giving this? I'm like, oh, this feels like it might not be great today. But no, it's been great. It's actually been like so incredibly fun to plan. Yeah. Well, I know what you said. You're making a million lava cakes. If 30 lava cakes in the moment, in the moment, it has to be so with lava. I like told my mom the plan. I was like, okay, so when I give you the signal, we're going to go get the ramacans and fill them up. And she's like, okay, you're going to give me the signal too. I'm a five X in this recipe. Like, I almost wasn't able to come. And I'm like, I'll be there. Do you want to bring my kitchen aids? You have more kitchen aids to just be reminded. I can remind. No, I'm going to make it all in advance. And then stick it in the fridge. And apparently if you just cook it for two extra minutes, if from refrigerated, it should be the right. We'll see. Five X in a recipe in one kitchen. It seems like a lot of a bowl. Oh, I'm going to do it in different batches. Because sometimes when you try to do anything, pass double, it gets funky. Yeah, the flavor's not right. Yeah, totally. Oh, okay, I can't wait. I know. What was your hard new vent happen? It feels so tough. Well, I didn't mean I just dropped a bomb. Like, you can have one that's... My muscles have been pretty so... I forgot that's what it was. I agree though. Honestly, I have a little walk in, it's a little hard these days. It's my upper back for me. It's the whole vicinity of every limb. It's sore. It's such a good feeling though. It's so crazy. Like, okay, you work out. I worked out my whole pregnancy, but the difference of modifying moves to now being able to go full out, it's humbling. I'm like, I know, I moved. I don't think I lost that much strength. They're that much cardiovascular stamina. It's gone. It is gone and we were rebuilding from the ground up. I feel the exact same way. It's exactly. It's kind of motivating though. Like, it's really fun feeling, soreness again. Because once you get to a certain point, and you're going consistently, you don't always feel sore unless it's a very unique exercise. So that feeling has been kind of fun. I'm like, we are like things are working and I'm getting stronger. But yeah, like a fresh after the baby, and I forget fresh getting back to the gym, my limbs felt so discombobulated. Like, I would try to do a lunge. I'm like, my kneecaps will fall off sideways. Like, everything just felt not coordinated or connected at all. Dang it. But here's a hope in my heart. It's getting better. I showed up to the gym this morning and both of our moms were outside burn. They just look like they were just filling some tea. I worked out with both of your moms this morning. You were in the group, you're like, I was with the group. I was with them. We worked out together. I was like, what are they talking about? And then your mom comes over and she was like, it's a terrible. I was like, I hate leg day. I wasn't fun, but that was cute that they were. Whole fan is out there. Yeah. So fun. Your mom got to hold bril. She told me, she came over and I was like, I got to hold bril. I was like, wait, she's like, can I hold her? Of course. Oh, she's a good grandma. She loves babies. That's sweet. We have some fun. So switch ups today. Switch ups. Yeah, we got to do, well, that's crazy necessarily. This is what's crazy. Oh good. The house made, first of all. Oh my god. I said this is a wow, that's crazy for me. We invited Abigail. Actually my mom invited me, Abby, and Abby. Me? You got me, even. You can get it. All three of us and her to go see the house made together. Abby was out because she got too scared. I looked at the trailer and I said, this ain't for me. I said, look scary and spicy. I never saw the trailer. I didn't watch it. Because I read the books. I said that it looks scary and spicy. And you made a face like, and you go, we have such different tastes. Look at you. I was like, okay, we'll see who's right. She said earlier that I said Justin, I was like, the album she liked, that means that you have bad taste. I was like, did I say that? I was like, I'm sorry, I'm doing something. I'm like, that's what she meant. I did that the other day and Abby goes, that's not what she said. To me, I thought it was repeating something that someone said. She goes, that's what she said. That's what I heard. Well, that's what I heard. Yeah, yeah. Do you have different things there? Yeah, exactly. So anyway, we saw the house made and I had read the book a few years ago. But I remembered it pretty vividly. It's a very memorable story because it's a freedomic fad and that's the author. He's like the ultimate murder twisty quick type of murder book. Honestly, I have a description. It might be the first one that I read. Like when I started reading again, I think you recommended it. Oh, really? Yeah. And the movie was, I think it was very well done. Okay, that's what I want to say. The standout actress was Amanda Sixfield. Seafrood? Yeah, however you say you're lost in your life. Amanda, who plays the wife of the husband. She's the wife of the wife who hired the housemaid. She is an amazing actress. The whole time I was just like, she blows me away. And then come to find out, obviously she's Ko-Zet in Lamez. Now think about the difference in characters there between the crazy woman in the house made to Ko-Zet with an incredible vocal range too. Then she's illegally blonde being hilarious. She's a momy. She's a momy blonde. She's a momy blonde. Not legally mean girls. No, she's not. Mean girls, don't mind that. Oh, that's what I was thinking, it's Mean Girls. I was thinking Mean Girls and picturing Mean Girls, because she's caring, right? Yeah. Like, she is so talented. She's so good. She was the standout, and my mind, like, so far, she was amazing. The movie was a lot more, what would you say, graphic, and- rated R? rated R, and graphic, than I would have sick-sepected. Is it rated R? We said the F word, so it's probably rated R. Abby came out and goes, there are so many customers, I was like, Didn't even hear it. I haven't, I'm not hearing this. There was a lot. It's rated R. Well, probably because Sydney Swini's boobs are just out. Kind of. Kind of out. Full of. Not full of. It was because it was from the side. Doesn't mean it's not a full of. I didn't see your full of boobs. But there was a long. I'm gonna trust Addie. There was a long. I felt like I closed my eyes so maybe I didn't see it. Well, if it started, I said no, no, no, no. It was long. And we were saying nice to my mom, her mother and my mom. Oh my gosh. I put my hood up. I said I can't watch this next to you. And I was like, what is the line with these movies? Like, when is it just a movie and when is it formed? Like that's a long. You didn't see anything at home. I actually did see his booty. You didn't see them at home. A man booty is funny. It's, yeah. I thought I'd do it now, then. It's just like, oh, but. I was like, haha. It's like that's fun. I always wonder, I'm like, are those are real cheeks? For sure. Oh my gosh. It'd be weird to know. Or was it a stunt double, some stunt doubles cheeks? Actually, maybe. Maybe he's like, I don't want to show up to Christmas and everyone in my family know my cheeks. That's another thing. I don't want to get too graphic. Is that Sydney Swiney's boobs? Or is that someone else's boobs? No, that's got to be hers. I feel like I've always wanted, like when I was a kid. Impressive. They're impressive. I like horse. She's beautiful and amazing. She, I've always, when I was a kid, I used to think that in the movies that they are sex scenes, I'm like, oh, they have, like fully it tards on. It's not real nudity. I did think about that in this, because I mean, they're both clearly not wearing clothes and they're like pressed against each other. I'm like, that is crazy. A lot to ask of somebody. I think they have like barrier things for the private parts and scenes like that. She's interesting. I don't know where I heard that. It could be lying. I just also can't stop thinking about like at the end of that when they're like, okay, cut. And you're like, there's an intimacy corner. Good job. Yeah, for like boundaries and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, okay, honestly, I think the movie was really good. I really liked it. I really liked it. I will not be watching it with Matt. I want to watch it again. I'll watch it with Blake. Just because the story was so good. I really liked it. I thought it was really well produced. Like the whole story was good. And it felt really similar to the book too. They, they, they kept my attention the whole time. I was never like, oh, what time is it doing at your home yet? Like I was, it was very well done. It was very well done. Amanda. I want to see more of her. I feel like I wonder what it would feel like from someone who doesn't know the story watching it. Because the whole time I'm like, oh, I know this is going to happen. So I know this is the feeling I feel about this person. The only scene I was confused about, I don't know how in the weeds we want to go with this, but the scene was going to be. Probably not two in the weeds. Yeah. She's done. She comes in their room. She hears them scream at night and then she has a knife. And she's like, no, how do you, they never explained that part away in the movie unless I missed it. So that movie was crazy. Crazy. I recommend it, but also just know what you're getting into. Before you, you know, maybe if you're, it's not your thing, like it's no Abbey's thing. I like that story. It's a good story. Yeah, good story. Good story. Good acting. Well done. Yeah, but if there are certain things you just don't want to see then, you should know ahead of time. You should know ahead of time. And you can get on streaming and skip. That's what I'll do. I'll watch it. It's really easy to skip that. You know exactly where it's going to be and then it's over. Yeah, that's what we like to do in our house. We still watch things. Just skip it. I think that's kind of a fun segue. I thought you were a very passionate book early. And you changed my year of 2025 by inviting me to be in a book club. And I read 12, no, I'm sorry. I read about 11 books until the club disbanded. That's awesome. A black disbanded. I want to turn it into a book club. The group chat is still labeled book club. We are turning into a book club. That's fun. We just lost focus. Yeah. But I enjoyed the books. Well, people stopped reading the books. And so then I was like, well, I don't think we want to do this anymore. I got reading on good. You did honestly a great job. But now there's no club I'm not reading. So tell us what your recent favorite reads are. Abby's cozy book corner. I'm just going to do my for most recent books. I read. OK, yeah, give us a review. One is on Kindle. I brought them here for everybody. I was really prepared. Honestly, they mentioned us talking about this on the podcast. I was like, put me in coach because I feel like on plan, they always cut me. They always cut that book. Can you put it back? I enjoyed it. Every time I'm like, I talked about the podcast. I was like, I wasn't on there. I was like, they cut it. Anyway, so the book I read last was another freedomic fadden. I read the locked door. I feel like I like to start the year off with a thriller mystery just to get the ball rolling because I read it really fast because I want to know what's going to happen. You just want the adrenaline boost at the beginning of the year. I'm sick in the head, OK? Like, I just like these types of stories. So I read the locked door. I read it because I thought they were going to make a movie of it. There's no plans to make a movie of this one. But I have it read and that one, I can hit five stars. Whoa. Yeah. And here's the thing. It's five stars because it's my exact taste in book. And I don't think it's for everybody. But it is just like a good, suspenseful thriller. I won't give a whole synopsis of it. But it's a thriller mystery. There is. It's the daughter of a serial killer. There's repeat crimes. He had like a trademark that he did. Like some serial killers have like a trademark. He had a trademark. And now these crimes are showing up around her. And so she's like the main suspect. Wow. Because it has the same trademark as her dad's crimes. But she has moved to a different city, has a new name. And she's like a doctor. Now she's a surgeon. And she's like trying to just like go and live a normal life. But that's interesting. I got about 50% of the way through it. And then I started another book. But I need to go back and finish it. I feel like serial killer stories are so interesting. Because it is almost like a logical review. It's what is going on in their mind that makes them want to do these horrific things. But I think as women too, it's like we want to understand their emotions. There are not a lot of female serial killers either. So I feel like it's like the feminine desire to protect yourself. Yeah. Protect yourself. And I would say that's it. It's just fascinating. It's fascinating. It's fascinating. It is fascinating. So that one, if you like love a good quick thriller mystery, that one, I mean, if you know free to make fun, and you know that it's exactly like all of her other ones. There's always a cliffhanger, so you just tear through it. Fun. The next one is Turtles All the Way Down by John Green. John Green is the one who did the Fault in Our Stars. I read that. Looking for Alaska. Yeah. So this is like a high school book. Yeah. I love those. I haven't read a young adult book in a long time. And so at first, I was like, what am I doing? Like this feels like I'm a little bit old for reading it. But honestly, the dreamy to it is that the main character has OCD. And so it's written really cool because it's like her, like, I don't know the proper way of saying it, but like her rational thoughts. And then her, like, OCD thoughts are in italics. And it's like her internal battle. But I also was really interested because apparently, I'm not going to give too much context because I'm not sure about all the details. But John Green himself maybe has some like OCD tendencies. And so he said it was like really difficult for him to write actually, because it was like he was trying to like give an authentic experience, like to what it's like having this condition. And so I was just really curious about, without like element of OCD. But the premise of this book is that a billionaire has gone missing. And there's a reward if anyone can give information to find him. And her and her friend are like, we're poor, because her friend worships a chunky cheese. And they're like, we need money. And so like, there's just this like this mystery element. That's not, it's not a mystery. But like, and then her OCD element. It's really interesting. And it was good to read. I liked it. And apparently, there's a show on Max about it. I feel like a lot of the young adult books have shows. Would you agree? Now I want to read that book. Is that the same thing? There's a show I'm like excited. I'm like, I want to read it. It's a quick read. Yeah, there's a show. So someone watched the show and let me know. This one is huge right now. The thick book. Well, yeah, it's quick read though. I really, well, not like quick, but like it moves quick. Okay, everyone is going to know this one. I feel like because this one got huge, because it's called The God of the Woods. Apparently on Taylor Swift's recent something or other that was released, she's listening to an audio book. And people like did it because people are really obsessed with Taylor Swift. They were like, we have to find out what she's listening to. And it was this book. And so now this book is like best seller everywhere. It has become, it has blown up. And I didn't know why it had blown up so much. But apparently that might be the reason why. It's because everyone found out that Taylor Swift was reading it. That would be a sense. Yeah. So this one is about, there's a girl's summer camp. And it's jumping between timelines. It's like middle school age girls junior high. And a camper goes missing. Everyone's trying to figure out this mystery. There's a lot of history to this camp because the family that owns it has like just a suspicious past. There's also another child that had gone missing back in the past. And there's just a lot, this book I will tell you, there are some million characters. Oh boy. So you got to keep track of them all. It's not one that you could step away from and then come back to you, you'd forget. Probably. Maybe just go through it just one time. And also maybe don't do it on audio. Because there are so many characters that it would be kind of confusing. It is thick, but I will tell you it reads quickly. Like there's, it's not like, you're not going to get stuck on it. I don't think. I thought it was really entertaining. People on Goodreads said they thought it was really slow. But I thought it was really good. Hey, what do you rate it? What do you rate it? I gave this one, like I think four stars. Four stars. I gave turtles all the way down four stars too. OK. This one I didn't like. Oh. Romantic comedy. Oh no. Who is it? Curtis Setonfield. OK, so I read it because it's one of Reese's book clubs. OK. And I honestly think it's a me thing. But I don't like books that have themes that are related to the recent pandemic. Yeah, I think we're so annoyed of the. I don't want to read about it. We lived it. Yeah. It's too early to reminisce. It's kind of a big part of this book. OK, so it's called Romantic Comedy. I love the idea of it. I honestly love the first half of it. I will tell you that because it's this lady who's like a writer on SNL, but they don't call it SNL, but she's a comedy sketchwriter. In New York City, it's so fun because one of the first parts of the beginning, they literally just give you the rundown of what their schedule is like working at SNL, where it's like, OK, they start their sketches on Monday. They stay up all night on Wednesday. They have the guest. Anyway, so the romance is between this comedy sketchwriter and the guest musical, like the host of that week's episode. Yeah, that's fun. Anyway, but they talk about COBID. And I don't really enjoy reading about that personally. And they also talk about politics a lot. I also want my books to be a relief from politics. Sure. So it's an escape, not too real. Reese just COBID in politics. No COBID in politics. This isn't an escape. Let me just lie. It was like, oh my gosh. So yeah, I think Reese led me astray on that one. But you know what? Everyone has different tastes. That's my book corner. Thanks for giving me that time. Yes. I'll wrap it up quick. I was telling Abby as a kid. I loved reading as a kid. I've always loved reading. And I would just remember sitting in the car and my mom would be like, OK, see if you can do it quicker. Like me telling us to not to send books. She's like, this is going on me. I have a brief question about books and your taste in books. Do you like short chapters and lots of chapters or like a normal size chapter? Like Frida does short chapters, like really short. Or does it affect you at all? Actually, I don't really know if it affects me. Really? I do. When I see on a candle, it says 15 minutes versus like a six minute chapter. I'm like, oh, see, I can read another chapter. I don't stop on chapters. I just stop wherever I'm at. Really? Yeah. What do you think about audiobooks? You remember how? Yeah, I feel like I would just tune it out. No, I feel like it has to be the right book for an audiobook. But yeah, I would maybe tune it out. I could read audiobook if I was like driving. But I'd listen to a podcast probably. Yeah, I would like that. I would like that. I'd like that. I'd be as mom does audiobooks. Yeah, it's for the right person. Yeah, totally. Yeah. I could also see myself going on walks and listening to audiobooks. But I can't, like, I don't think I could do a task and listen to it and like focus. Well, that was a great speed. I didn't fall. I didn't feel sleepy during that. Are you going to rate any of them? If you tell me, I must. Then I must. Which one would you pick? I'm still reading that one about the disco girl that you gave me. Oh, the one about Daisy Jones in the six. I didn't like one of the best of all time. I know, and I really like it. But I started it right before I had Vivian. And then I didn't pick it up for three months. I was like, and you start it over. Man, maybe. Because I was into it the first 15 pages and then it. Well, I was trying to give it to Addy. And then I was like, she's honestly, you're expired. So you. Yeah, she said, she said, I said, I could have it now. My library card's like, I said she's had it for too long. She's going to be fine. She's going to be writing it to Addy's library so that I can have it. I'll read Turtles Down. Is that what it turns? Turtles all the way down. Turtles all the way down. I mean, fun. I told Matt I was like, something about me is like, I could literally sit and read a book cover cover. And I'm so happy. Like, I'm not going to be like, I'm getting bored. Like, my attention span is really long for reading. But with kids, it's interrupted. So I'm not able to get there as many books. Sure. I mean, I got through those probably in like a month. Well, that's awesome. That's a lot of books in one month. I feel like this is a good segue because you've always been a book kid and you had your era when you talk your mom long, long story shouldn't care about. I thought it would be funny. The Taylor Swift documentary series just came out where she goes about like behind the scenes of the era's tour. So I thought we should do our eras and give the audience a little sneak peek behind the scenes of the Abby's lives throughout their life. Yeah. And that also might be the exact documentary that they talked about that book or she was listening to it. Oh, really? Maybe. I didn't finish it. I only saw the first two episodes of it. I thought it was really good. I think you should start with your eras. Okay. I said, I've listed out like the big times of my life and I'm like, well, I probably don't need to start at like age eight. So let's move it up a little bit. I thought I would start with my volleyball era. And we thought it'd be kind of cheeky if we put this into chat GVC and had to create titles for our eras. That's not like Taylor Swift titles. So this era is called bleachers at sunset. Oh, I'm not going to need a snap. Oh, yes. Bleaches at sunset. What do we give a little song bleachers at sunset? Not everything in the studio. Give each era a course. Okay. When I was in high school, I was very much into my sport. That was my identity was being a volleyball girl. And I loved it. I loved being athletic. I've talked before like you always thought it was super cool. I had a really small group of friends and we were all very dedicated to our sport. Yeah. So that was my life for a long time. And I remember I would practice three days a week, go outside and have a long time and just hit the ball against my garage and like all my off days and just practice and have private lessons, tournaments on weekends. Like that was very much what I lived. And it was pretty good. I'm not the two at my own home. No, I feel like you were. You played in college? Yeah. Yeah. That was my whole goal. It's like I want to get to the collegiate level. And I did. I ended up going to a division two school, a small school in the Midwest. And it just was not what I expected it to be. I feel like my whole life I built up what college was going to be. And I thought, oh, my team will be like my sorority and these girls are going to be my best friend. I mean, worked so hard for this common goal and then I got to the college level and the experience was not at all what I expected it to be. I actually had a pretty bad. That was probably one of the most toxic environments I've ever been a part of. And I don't use the word toxic often. But it really was. I remember, I mean, you're freshman in college. I was four and a half hours away from home. I didn't know anybody that went to the school, which I was kind of excited about. And I was dating Caleb. So he was at home. We're doing long distance. And I remember crying almost every day. Like I would go in the showers and just cry. And the whole time I was at that school, I was actively transferring to leave that school at semester. Yeah. The whole semester. The whole semester was like, I got to get out of here. What about it was like toxic? It really was the relationship or amongst the team. It was a different level of competitiveness. I feel like your team can go one of two ways. It can either be the tightest group of girlfriends that you ever have. And it's this really exciting, like you're all achieving a goal motivation feeling. And then, or it's the opposite where everyone is in competition with each other. In college, it's a different level where the freshman come in and your spot is never safe. And that's for any sport. And then there's just like a level of caddiness. I think any time you're in girl sports, to be honest, which is just sometimes how it is. So that was very overwhelming and very, I was like, why am I doing this? And I felt like I hit my goal. I got to the college level. And after that, I was OK with not pursuing it any farther. So that was when I transferred and ended my volleyball girl era. But that was hard. I felt like the identity that I had wrapped up in my sport, then I was like, now what? So I'll cap my era there. Well, I feel like that, first of all, when you talk about your volleyball era, I don't know why I always think about what you would pack to your games. Because you're like, I always had a cajara Nutella. What was it? We always giggle because I never ate healthy foods. I would start every tournament morning. My mom would take me to the gas station. I'd get a long john donut. OK. That's it. I'd eat for breakfast. Good start. I'd get through a couple games. And then I'd pull out the double jar of Nutella in a bag of spoons. And I would just, I had multiple plastic spoons, which is Eathen Nutella. And then I was obsessed and still am obsessed with fruit snacks. And I would have the big bags of the Kellogg fruit snacks. And I would have like five or six in there for a day. And then at somewhere I would sneak in a turkey sandwich. No fruit, no vegetables. Just sugar. Just turkey on the sandwich. And a slice of cheese. Bread. See, I love you. You're feeling up. I was fueled with my sugar. With my sugar. Well, I actually started my eras at the route at the same time. So do you want to kind of just like ping pong back and forth? I started in high school. My eras, oh, got to get the name. Gosh, it. I just can't get the name. I despise that we had to use chat, GBT for this. I was like arguing with you. I was like, that's a little too poetic. Can we get some like poppy new roots? Bright skies. Wait a minute. That's the wrong one. I'm sorry. Let's make any sense about high school. Yeah, I was also. Passion paths and friendships. Passion paths and friendships. It's not good. It could have been better, but it would have been better. I was trying. It was my best fault. I was really trying. I wasn't feeding at the right stuff. OK, but anyway, high school. OK, so I actually loved high school. Yeah. I probably peaked to high school. I had so much fun. I feel like that was the time that I really just like, I always say it's like you're throwing spaghetti at the wall and you just see what sticks. I tried everything. I did every activity. I was involved in every group and club that I was interested in at all. I remember going from after school, going to school, I had to pack eight bags because I knew I wasn't going to be home until 10 p.m. Every night had so many things going on. And I loved that. I loved going from thing to thing to thing. I feel like I barely slept. And if I slept that much now, I would be a horrible version of myself. But I was just loving. I was so excited. And I feel like I truly was just energized by everyone I was around. So it kept me going. But anyway, I loved that season. And also, I had really good friends. I had some really solid friends. So that made it awesome. I feel like sometimes groups of girls get a bad rap. But I've always had such good experiences. I'm like, no, I feel like girls can be awesome together. And there's such a special sisterhood. And I'm still friends with a lot of my friends from high school. And it's really special. So I think about that time as just a whirlwind. And that's why I also am like, I love that I was able to just how unique is it when you're in high school that you get to just do everything. And the stakes are low. It's safe to try everything. And I didn't have to worry about a lot of things that you have to worry about when you're an adult, like paying for things. Like I got to do all these expensive activities. But I didn't have to worry about holding a job. So I worked in the summers. But then the fact that I had the freedom during the school year to just focus on anything that I wanted to pursue as a passion was really cool. That is cool. I look back at that time so fondly. And I also was raising a small town. So everything also just felt so safe to just try anything. And I think other people that live in smaller towns maybe experience that differently. But I felt like I had just such a good experience. And so many people around in my corner that were so fun and uplifting. And also I was really close with my family. So this was such a good time. And also I was dating Matt. And so the last between my junior and senior year is when we started dating. That also just added so much fun and excitement to my high school years. I never thought I was going to date in high school because Abby, if you knew me, I was the least boy crazy girl. But I feel like when you tell me stories from high school you always had a guy. I will say that is something you've never really had a boyfriend before, Matt. You've only kissed me. But you have some people that I do. I had like, yeah, I don't really not explain that. I never took it seriously. Or I wasn't excited about it if that makes sense. Like I had dates to dances and I went on dates. But it wasn't a focus of mine really. I was just having fun with my friends. And so then it was so weird when I was dating Matt because I was then so boy crazy, so off the deep end in love. But it was really fun. And also we were really serious even in high school. So I do say it sounds crazy. People in high school, I feel like people I was like, no, but we will get married. I really believed that. And they're like, yeah, you're in high school. You're 17. But I knew it even then. Yeah, because he's the only guy you ever gave attention to. Like real deep attention. Yeah, totally. It just felt so different. And I actually was like, I cared about it and I was excited about it. So that was my, what was it? Passion paths and friendships. A gosh. Isn't it crazy? Did you feel like when you started or saw Matt or started dating him that you knew immediately? I had a moment with Caleb. I walked in a math class and I had another boyfriend at the time. And I laid eyes on Caleb for the first time and I thought, I'm going to date that man. And I'm going to date that man for a long time. I literally thought that in my head. And I said, I'm going to break up with my boyfriend for that guy. I'm going to get cut to the chase first and go with me. I was even mad. I was like, sweet. I'm going to go out to Caleb out. You're like, he broke up with me first. But. I was even mad. That's funny. That's so great. Good times. What a great era. That was a great era. That was great. I was so sad when it ended. Yeah, I loved it. I mean, I had, I still friends with my husband. If you have good friends in high school, I feel like it makes that be too. It's experience so great. And I still, I'm so close to my girls. So I look back and not fondly too. My next era is I put strat to saved. And then Chagy Patissette changed it. Red Cubs to Redam Shinn. I love that. That's our country, country era. Someone's got to write that. I think I'm already in. I'm already in. Maybe you're my more. So I transferred to Mizzou from this small school play ball at ball at. And immediately I was like, I don't have an identity on my sport anymore. I want to be the party girl that I was never allowed to be. Not allowed. I just wasn't included to be in high school. And I think I always looked at girls that like got invited to things in the party. And I was like, oh my gosh, that's so cool. I want to be like that. So when I went to college, I was like, I'm going to join a sorority. And that's going to be my goal. Is to just go to everything, be invited to everything. And I'm going to be wild. And I was still dating Kyl about this time. So it's so funny because he's never been like, oh, wow, God. But I found a lot of identity and like being the life of the party or like trying to be in some ways. And it got to a point where you're going out at this point. It was such a culture. But I would go out like Tuesday. Thursday, Friday, Saturday. So when you say, oh, I thought you were edgy. It's because I was talking about. This is what I was talking about. This is when I first met me, really kind of met you. Totally. Yeah, it was. It was a party girl. It was a party girl. Yeah, it was just such a, I look back on that time. And I'm like, I don't think I had a drinking problem. But it's definitely the start of probably what was. But college was such a unique time. I feel like I grew a ton. And I was experiencing this whole entertainment scene. But then at the same time in my sorority, I had joined a Bible study. And that was the first time I'd ever read the Bible. And I don't know what drew me to wanting to join this Bible study. I think I just kind of was like, I have a lot of opinions about it, but I've never read it. And so I had this like totally two different worlds of like pursuing faith and also pursuing the party. And after a couple of years of like reading the Bible, I was like, OK, this is actually, I do believe that this is true. And I gave up the party girl life. And so that's where the redeemed saved part of the story comes from. But that was like a full 180 of like being a little wild to then wanting to live my life in a way that glorifies God. Experiencing you go through that change in the periphery because we were not close at this time. It was like night and day different. Like you were night and day different. Yeah. And I just remember I was like, I'm so confused. Because you and Caleb were both very different. Like after all of this. And so like, I, it's, I don't know. It was just really cool just like watching this like big change. But like since we had gone gaps without seeing it, it felt like it happened overnight. Yeah. I mean, it was a long process. I mean, three years. I'm sure. Yeah. But then, yeah, once I like decided that I do believe, I was like, OK, I do believe that Jesus is real. So I'm OK, here we go. And then I felt like my heart literally changed overnight in a moment. Like the shame was lifted. I didn't feel, I didn't even realize I felt shame. But there are a lot of things that I did in the, those the couple years of college that I did that were shameful. Like getting in fights and being violent. Like I have deep regrets about that time of my life. We've talked about that because I said, on my bucket list is to punch someone in the face. And I said, don't do it. Abigail said, you don't have to do it. It's not empowering as you think it would feel. And what about punching it in the face? Would that feel more empowering? I don't, yeah, I don't know. I don't know of violence is there for the answer. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I look back and I feel so grateful for the life change in the trajectory that my life turned in college was a very pivotal time of my life. And I got to do it alongside Caleb because we were kind of on the same timeline with our faith, journey. And it set us up for a really great next era. That was like a big transformative interrupt for you. Yeah, I think that's when we became friends. Honestly, you're like, we got, yeah, and I'm going to get along with this. We don't have anything in common. I just was like, I don't think she's going to be any interested in anything that I'm interested in. So she's doing some really cool, like big. And then I'm like, we're like pranking our guy friends. Let's see, that's so fun. When you're going in the party scene, I felt like my nights were the same. They were the same, but different. You're going at the same bars. You're just getting drunk. It's just the same thing over and over again. I didn't have memories of being super goofy and like these pranks and just having this really fun, easy girl time. Like it was always like, oh, let's talk about what we did last night. That was so crazy. You know what I mean? It wasn't ever just this simple, yeah, fun. Here's what my version of that era looks like. And it's actually called, first steps in heartbeats. Oh, I don't even know if that was actually what I landed on. Or if that got auto corrected to heartbeats. Because I'm really. First steps to heartbeats. First steps in heartbeats. I don't know what that is. I don't know what that even means exactly. But this was my era in which I was transitioning to college. And I did it. I went to school that was four and a half hours from my hometown. But I also took with me my boyfriend that we were very serious. Matt, my husband. And my random boyfriend. And my best friend, like in a few close friends from my hometown. So I feel like I kind of cheated a little bit. I had my bubble of comfort with me. And I wasn't too far, right? Like four and a half hours is enough. But it wasn't like I was, you had to fly to get back and forth from home. So this felt like a really good transition for me. It would have been shocking. We considered schools on the East Coast. That would have probably shocked me into coming back home immediately. This was a really good safe transition for me in which I was experiencing independence for the first time in learning. And this was the time where I was just goofing off with my girlfriend. The first time I had free time. Because in high school, I did not have free time. I still tried a lot of new things in college, but I wasn't super involved in my school. So we just had extra free time. We were pranking people. Like we just had fun. And so I was not a part of a sorority, but I did go to a frapp party. One. One. Dressed as Thomas Jefferson. I was going to say it. I was like, wait, maybe I'm going to say it. She talks about her college era. So we went really all out for Halloween every year. And this was my peak night. Completely stubborn. Good. It's more fun that way. I was totally stubborn. We're dressed up. We're our church Halloween party. Full. There were the five founding fathers. And we went all out. Had the wrinkles, the big white wigs. And we, Americans flagged, got a declaration of independence. And the party, the church party ended. And we're like, we're not done yet. We're like, what's a fraternity? We don't know. And so someone was like, go to Fiji. And so we went and they wouldn't let our guy friends in, because boys aren't allowed in. I think they could have let you in, because you were a boy. They considered not allowing it. They're like, oh, we allow girls, but what are you? And everyone was like, this was a two story frapp house party. And we went upstairs. And literally my friend that was Ben Franklin, her glasses fogged up. Ben Franklin was fogged up. Ben Franklin. We were like, she was cleaning up. She was also stuffed with a pillow. Like, it was so funny. And everyone was so drunk that when they saw us, they had like hilarious reactions. They're like, this is the best thing ever. So there's like a lot of pictures from that night of like the five founding fathers and like a sexy angel and a sexy step. And we're just like, it was literally so hilarious. We thought we were the funniest people in the world. And so that just kind of explains my college experience. The first half, just my classes in college were easier than high school, just probably depending on like what major you choose, what school and stuff. So I had a lot of time on my hands. Yeah. I had a great time. Also, we were working. Yeah, I just learned a lot in this time, but it felt really still safe and like really fun and like hard. Isn't it fun when you discover free will? You're like, I will, I will be a founding father of the family. So many fun. I was gonna say, I feel like you guys set the standard for like a funny Halloween costume. You guys did implement this. And then the next year, so I ended up living in the same house that Abby was at afterwards. Oh yeah, we should have called this the Goop Koop era. Because it was the name of her. Because I'm in that era too. Afterwards, Abby moved out. I moved in and then we dressed up as the Blue Man group. Oh my gosh, you guys, it's so really intense. It's fully painted blue. And at the church talent show, we were back treat boys. We learned the whole dance. The church talent show. Oh gosh. We got a fun, Jared. I remember when I became a Christian. I was like, what do you guys do for fun? You know, I'm great. I'm sorry. And then I was like, I actually love it. We're eating a lot of chocolate chip cookies. A lot of cookie skillet. So many cookie skillets. I'm gonna have been missing out. This is life-changing. Well, we love the Goop Koop era. The Goop Koop era. That's the name of her house that we just call ourselves the Goop Koop. And then that one you met Blake through being in the Goop Koop. I met them before I moved in. So we lived across the street. And Blake and I were already dating. And then I moved in because I was friends with that friend. So you met through Hill City? Oh, sorry. You met through church. You can call it Hill City. Okay. Shout out. Shout out. Shout out. Shout out. Yeah, we met through there and then it was funny moving in. Because I moved in, I lived with Abby's best friend too, because I was friends with her at that point. And so it was fun living there. And all the memories there was there. Oh, I think. It's a good house. Goop Koop era. Great. I always moved in afterwards. Like my boys, friend groups, moved in once we moved out. That's crazy. It turned into a boy house. Oh, no. Okay, my next era was my girl boss, my girl boss era. I love that. Yeah, it's so fun. And a chat called it, stitched from a day dream, which stitched because I had a clothing store. I love that. Yeah, I had always had the dream from like 17 years old. I said, I'm gonna start a non-line clothing boutique. At that time, there were not a lot of clothing online clothing boutiques, like online shopping, just kind of was getting started. So I was like, this is gonna be my thing. And that I graduated high school in 2014. So that's when I had that idea. All college, I just tailored my schooling to starting this business. And then my senior year when I was 21, during spring break was when I launched. And I remember January went to market for the first time with my parents. March was when I launched. So I did it really fast. And that just kind of set off this journey of trying to figure out how to run a business out of my house. And it was so challenging, so rewarding, so fun. I did it for five years, super fondly. In 2020, Kylb came on the team with me full time, which was really, really cool too. And I just like working with him and that capacity was really fun seeing how his brain worked. Also learning our working styles together was hard and fun. But it was just, it was like this young 20s, I'm like pursuing my dream. And it was really great for a couple of years. And then we lived in Kansas City at the time. We decided to move to Phoenix. That was after like three or four years of the business. No, yeah, four years of the business. And once we moved here, I don't know what happened. I do know what happened, but the business took a huge turn, a huge downfall. And I just was not equipped and could not, I couldn't figure out how to fix the business. And financially, we started to fall into a huge hole. And I didn't realize at the time when I was 21 and signed up for credit card that that debt would become my personal debt. I'm like, no, I'm an LLC. It's on, you know what? I'm not responsible for the debt. You are. So when it started racking up, Kills like, what are we doing? And then led a series of just like pretty hard, a really hard year. This was in 2023 and ended up making a really hard decision to close the business. Then I feel like we got a miracle from the Lord we were able to sell the business. And within the next year, we were able to pay off all the debt. It was really hard. We were scraping by. We had to move out of our rental house because we couldn't afford it anymore. We ended up having a baby in this time, again, CJ. The whole year I felt like again, I had just kind of been like punched. And I was like, I don't know what my next move is. And there was a lot of feeling lost in this season, a lot of grief over my dreams dying and just going from this high, fast-paced life, trying to run a company to then like, I have a baby and I'm a mom. I don't know what my life looks like, honestly. So there were some really high parts and then some hard parts in that era, but it was a very special five years of my life all of it. I look at it very fondly. Yeah, yeah. I'm really proud of what you did with Bolt. And it was really cool to watch you do that. And it's going to be cool to see how you take those skills and I want you into the next thing. I'll never forget, like I didn't think you like really, we didn't have a lot of conversations about how it was like getting hard until like one time you came over for dinner at our house and you were like, we're going to file for bankruptcy. Yeah. And I was like, mm-hmm. No. Yeah. Yeah, you gave us good advice. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't think I was like giving advice, but I was just like, there's got to be something else. Yeah. It just got to a point where we looked at the, you know, okay, when you have a business, we had $60,000 of debt at that point on the business and on credit cards. On a credit card. Yeah. And it's like, okay, you could do $30,000 in sales one month. Like, so you think, oh, we can pay this off in a couple months, but then our sales dipped, but our expenses stayed the same. And it just racked up so fast. And it literally, I've never felt like I was drowning. So deeply, like, killed by both wake up in the middle of the night, just in sweats and panic. Like, I don't know how we're gonna do this. And you think about the effects of bankruptcy. Like, you can't buy a house. Your credit is ruined. You know, there are all these big things. And I had sought counsel from someone else that I had known that had closed the business and she did that and it was really great for her. So I was like, that's our only answer. I don't know how we're gonna come up with $60,000. We don't have jobs. Like, this is our job. And we're just not making any money, but it was good for us to just like slow the breaks and ended up being able to, we know to get into that. But we were able to pay it off really quickly, which was just such a miracle. And yeah, it was such a hard, like, being in financial debt like that is so crippling. It's really scary. So I feel for people when they like talk about that. But there's hope, there's light at the end of the tunnel. You can get through it. I feel like a lot of business owners can relate to that because like, what's the statistics? Like, it's great to have that drive and passion to start something, but it's hard. It's a hard road. And the fact that you did it for five years is amazing. Thanks, yeah. I remember when we closed you came over and you would help me pack orders on the closing sale. And I'm someone that I don't always share my emotions outwardly, but that was one of the most like meaningful things ever. You just coming, because I couldn't really talk about it. I was so internally so sad in such a puzzle. I couldn't like put towards what it was. And you would just come over and help me pack orders and you'd bring Griff. And you guys, it was just, it meant so much to me. Yeah. That was really a way to show up in a time where you did. I enjoyed it. I did. Yeah. That was a big chapter for you. That was, yeah, super formative. Yeah. My next one was called Newlywed Dreams and Humble Beginnings. My first two years of college, I wasn't married. I got married after my sophomore year of college. So then I was a married college student. I found myself in a weird season. Super joyful. I mean, the Newlywed bliss was, I mean, imagine what, like what you imagine Newlywed bliss to be, but then also your 20 years old. And you've also never lived with a man before. Like, it was jacked up to like 150%. It was amazing. Like I was literally like, I remember just like going if he in the middle of the night and coming back to my bed and I was like, we're married. I didn't think you said that. I was literally just like so on cloud 11, so happy. And like, it also feels so fake too, because we were in college. Like we would go to class together. Like, I don't know. It was such a unique season to be in. But it also did pose a couple of weird challenges as far as like I had always been like so close with friends. And it did put a little bit of a, me on a weird playing field with my peers, because I'm not living on campus. I'm living in an apartment off campus and I'm married. So like my first person to go to is my husband now, whereas like it had been my girlfriends. And so I found myself in a weird transition part where I was like, what's my role with my friends now? What they're not thinking to invite me to things. And I have to be more vocal about like getting, being a part of that still, because I still wanted to like have the college thing, but just like try to figure out how it fit in this Newlynds. So there were some like growing pains with that for sure. Humble beginnings is because we were looking for apartments when we were engaged. And I remember we were like, man, it's gonna be kind of hard to find a place that like fits comfortably within our budget, because we can only work part time because we're in school full time. So like we're in school full time and then also trying to like make our income, which a lot of people find themselves in that position. But we're like, wow, we gotta be tight with it. And then we found this apartment where like rent is so cheap, but we're like dang it, it is government subsidized. It's for low income. We're like, it's not gonna work. I'm like, wait a minute. We're in income. And so because we were filing taxes differently, being married, we were certainly eligible for the low income housing. And so living in this government subsidized housing for the year and a half that we lived there was honestly, I needed it. I really needed this because I had grown up and such a bubble. And like I had, it's not like we were wealthy by any means, but I had all of my needs met. I was more than comfortable with my family. And then in college, like we scraped by, but like it's so different. Like you're in college, like you have the amenities of the university, like anything really happened. I know I could call my parents and they would have my back. But we became in close community with a lot of people that like we're finding themselves in a really tough season of their life. Like and there was people of all ages. There was like people that were senior citizens. There was families with like little kids. There were, I mean, there was all types of people in this apartment building. And we got to know a lot of them closely. Like we would have dinner with them a lot. There's days that like really broke my heart with living there. And like I can still cry thinking about, especially some of the kids, like I just, yeah. It was good for me to see this and to like learn and experience it. Some of these kids like literally didn't ever leave their apartment building. And I had never had a frame of reference for any life like that, any childhood like that. My childhood had been so idyllic. And so like this, the fact that the, there was no amenities in this building for kids. And that this, there was like kids that actually never left because they didn't have a vehicle. Like their playground was the parking lot. And like they, that was all they knew was their own unit. That was small, like one bedroom. And then the parking lot. Well, people struggling with addiction, struggling with unemployment. And I feel like I just, I needed that. So badly to like humble myself. And like, yeah, I think I just, it really changed my perspective on people. And especially people that are finding themselves in a rough patch. And also in the juxtaposition of us just like being newlyweds. And like, we're like the happy, go lucky, like goofballs. Like nothing could go wrong. And then we're like, oh my gosh, like learning people's stories was, it was a really cool season. You guys are so extraverted to such a good job. I feel like in an apartment complex, it can be so easy to just close your door and never know your neighbors. And I feel like you guys knew all your neighbors. You knew all of them. I was so impressed when we visited. And just seeing how you guys interact with them all. And they all loved you guys. Like, thank you. Like, oh, yeah, we had lunch with them. And they brought us meals. And I took their kids to the store. And like, I don't know, you just were, you were like very intertwined with these people's lives in a really cool way. Thank you. That's really nice. It was impressive. I do realize I made a boo boo. I did combine my boss, babe, era, stitch from a daidry with my print in the popper era. The print's big CJ and the popper being me. He was the king. But my last era is the comeback era. And my title is The Return was Quiet. We're not quiet, because I'm on the little social video. But I feel like I came out of that season. My dreams were dead. I made this new season of being a mom for the first time. Had a really hard labor, which we've talked about a time before. And like, financially, we're building ourselves back up. And it really felt kale was starting a new job. It just really felt like we were rebuilding ourselves from the ground up with not a ton of direction. Like, it was really just like, our palms are open, Lord, wherever you lead us, we will go. Please just bring the opportunities to us, because I also felt internally so exhausted. Like, just coming off the emotionally drained. So I was like, whatever, just, we'll just, I'm just here along for the ride at this point. And slowly, I was able to build my confidence back up. I feel like just day by day when you just continue to show up for yourself, for your kids, for your family, for your spouse. And you just, you just slowly start to feel like, OK, we're fighting our way. And I feel like you guys have kind of put me on like a nice little platform with putting me on a planned and sharing my hard labor and some of the hard things of the business that I was able to grow a little bit of a following. And that helped kind of this career into social media, which was really cool. So yeah, I feel like that is kind of like here to now. And obviously, just like, I feel like, kill, but I have reached this sweet spot where his job is hard still, and he's doing hard things, but like he's trying to build businesses. And I just feel like we have direction as a family again. And it's been a really sweet season. And I feel like I'm ready to take on opportunities again, like this podcast. Like, it was a lot to like think about committing to something after closing the business. I was like, I lost a little confidence in myself. And so now I'm like, we're doing it. So come back, era. I love that. Yeah, that's the, you're coming back. Come back, baby. No, I just, I think it's funny that you call it a comeback era because I feel like being closely, like around you during this tough season to now, like you still never lost, like you're in my eyes, like your ability to show up for others, your joy, your like service towards it, like you never lost it through all of it. And I feel like you steward that hardship so well. I knew it was so tough on you, but you just, you never lost your integrity. You never lost like your faith, like all of it. And you just, I see why you call it the comeback era, but I feel like we never lost you. Like, and you kept, like you were so selfless too with others in that time too, even though it was such a hard season for you. So well, thanks. I appreciate that. I do feel like when you have a faith, like my identity, I did have a lot of identity wrapped up in, in bold, but that's not my overall identity. And so I felt like even though I had lost a part of me, I didn't feel like I lost myself. Do you know what I mean? I totally agree. Yeah. And so there were aspects of me, like I felt like I lost a lot of confidence in my decision making skills and things like that that were really hard, that I feel like I feel better about, but I really appreciate you saying that. That's sweet, thanks for. Yeah, you never know what you're presenting yourself as externally, so that's... Well, I also feel like that's when you show up as you truly are, is when you're put to it. That's so cheesy and cliche, but like that's the truth. Like when it's true. Your character shines the truest form of itself when you're put through extremely difficult circumstances. Yeah. And it's like, I always think, and it's biblical, but like the trials in our lives shape us and make us better people. And we shouldn't fear hard things in our life because we come out of them stronger and more refined and more resilient and overall better. And like obviously going through hard things is, it sucks, it's like literally the worst thing ever. But there is purpose at the end of coming through these seasons that in the middle of it, we do not see it. And I don't think we should be expected to see it, but then once you're on the other side, you're like, okay, I see the purpose of that. And I feel that, thankfully, with those hard seasons with Caleb and I. That's really reflective. Yeah, thank you. That sounds disingenient. When you just said, yeah. No, I don't think that's why you laugh. I'm like, no, I mean that. I just laugh because I'm not normally reflective. Oh, okay. Like thanks, I've been thinking about it a lot. We're working on that. Okay, well, you're just ended on a nice bow. This is where we've actually found myself in my hardest era yet. And I actually mean this, like truthfully this was my hardest season. By far, this one's called Waves of Change. Lost our jobs during the pandemic. Which is why you're a VID. It's a good idea. Lost our jobs, we were like, no big deal. Like we'll just figure it out. And so at this point, I had started needing a lot. Matt had started. He's like, I know how to edit videos. We had our camera from our wedding. He's like, I noticed Abby watching YouTube videos. Like I feel like we could do this. And so six months into him, no, no, no, a year almost into him making nine months into Matt posting on social media is when the pandemic happened. Six months into the pandemic then is when we were like, this could actually be like a career option for us. Which was really unexpected out of the blue. And never something I had truly considered before. So I didn't really take it seriously for a while. But like Matt really saw the vision for it. He was like very passionate for it. He's a dreamer and he's a doer. So he was like making it happen. Me, I was still going to class and like nanning. And then by the end of me grad, I graduated semester early and at that point, we were kind of like, okay, we could either dive in and head first for this and see what comes of it. We'll never have another time in our life where our life feels so like flexible. Or we could just completely abandon this. And I was like, it would be a shame to just not ride this out and see where it will take us. And so we commit to doing that. And then we're like, okay, well, heck, we can really live anywhere to do this. So we're like, let's do the craziest place ever. Like let's move to Hawaii. We always dreamed of like, you know, who doesn't have like island dreams going somewhere really far when you've been grown up in the small town in Midwest. You're like, go far. And so find ourselves in Hawaii. Don't know anybody upon moving there. And this was also my first time where I had never had community. Like I had all growing up, had so much community. Go college, took my community with me and then built some more there. It was like amazing. And then all of a sudden it was just me and my husband and I kind of burst this bubble in my mind. Like I was like, okay, well, no matter what, I'll have him and he can be everything for me. And then I was like, this was actually never how it was designed to be. He was never supposed to be everything for me. And then I was like, okay, well, for the first time in my life, I found it really, really difficult to make friends and keep friends until I like have a community that I could lean on and then I could be a part of and contribute to. So I would not say I was clinically depressed. But if I had talked to a doctor, maybe I would have been, like I was really struggling by like six months into the season. Like I think the transition of like having a career on social media mixed with like just like the new pressures and everything that that came with plus feeling so isolated, plus feeling like the juxtaposition of like my life online versus like what my reality was. Like Matt and I were still like having an amazing time. But then like at the end of the day there was just this like low lying, like sinking feeling in me. Like I was just like so lost at this point in my life and it was really a hard time. It's hard for me to even say that because it's like I still recognize like had it so good and things were good, but like just like in my spirit, my soul I was like so lost. So questioning everything, just feeling like, like my purpose was so confused. Like I was like where, what is the purpose? What is, what am I doing? Like just felt really, really, really lost. I like told Matt I was like I just think I can't live here anymore. And it's not about the place that we were in. It was just had everything to do with like so many things going on with my personal life at that point. That was the waves of change. We were in Hawaii for a year and that was just a really, really hard year. And it was also mixed with the fact that like my husband was like living his best life. Like he was so thrilled to be there and like loved everything about it and like had such and he was on a high of life at this point. And so it felt like for a while I was like I got to just like keep doing it because I can't like bring him down. And then I also don't want to be selfish. Like we got married to like make decisions together and like I got to see this through. And then by the year where like when our lease was up, I was like we can't, I can't anymore. Like we're going back, we're going back. And I felt so selfish. And I honestly to this day still feel like a little bit of guilt because it's like I knew like he loved it so much but he was so selfless and was like yeah, like you're not thriving here. Like we all go somewhere else. So that's the waves of change era. Like that, just the duck supposition of like living in paradise and feeling like terrible. Yeah. So and just like so also I really was like I'm just in the middle of the ocean. Like I was just confused. Yeah. It's also too like you guys were, I mean what two years married at that point. Yeah. And feeling so not on the same page with your spouse at that point too is so hard. You don't know how to navigate those feelings of not being on the same page. And then you being so down and having like live in the best life, I just imagine that being really, really. We never experienced that before in our relationship ever. No, totally. Like everything had just been so on par. Yeah. We had felt like a line in everything. And then the first time we were like on totally different pages. So you're right. That was just another thing adding to like everything feeling so off and confusing. Next one is called new roots and bright skies. So we moved to sunny Arizona, which was honestly everyone's like what probably Arizona? It was pretty random. Like it was really pretty random. But we had visited a couple of times see friends. And I was like I always love the sunshine there. We knew we didn't want to go back to the Midwest. It's not like it'll never happen. But it was just like we were still like really enjoying like being in a different part like setting up our own life. And so then family started to move out here. And so that also just made it feel more real like more roots being established. And then also growing our own family. Like we're really like settling down roots here in Arizona. And like in just now the season of like growing our family. And like so grateful we have community here and like amazing community. So like so grateful. And it just really feels like we're getting settled. And I feel like I have navigated enough things like where I can say like now I'm like okay I feel like an adult now. I feel like I've like entered my seat like welcoming adulthood. Like that's where I feel like I have a different type of confidence since having kids and just like honestly just things I've been through. Like I feel like a different type of confidence and sense of identity. I feel like we're getting to like a more comfortable place. And just really grateful for where we're at. And I also just feel like more than ever. Like I'm in a place where like kind of like what you said like when challenges like also make us stronger. And I know that's like so cliche. But I really feel like I would have thought like a lot of things that have like been hard in my life would have made me feel so fragile. But and so sometimes people treat me like I'm fragile, which is just honestly them being sensitive to me and consider it. And I'm not upset about it at all. But I'm like what you don't know is that I'm very strong. Like I'm like no one has to like necessarily protect me. And so basically I feel like I have like rooted and I feel like I have like confidence and that's different than what I had as like a young adult in a teenager. And I'm also just like I said right guys. I'm also like just looking forward to like the future. I feel like I could not tell you what my life would look like in five years from now. And that's like so good. Like I like love that. And yeah, I just feel really grateful for the season that I'm in. And really excited for what's to come. Yes. Right guys. Right. You definitely you radiate confidence. Yeah. So nice. Yeah. And you're very resilient. And it's like you go through these hard things and you come out. You come out to a confident and strong. Thank you. I'm amazed at the woman that you are. You're so nice. Feel the same way. Well, that was a long segment. But I also feel like like when Abby had this idea for this episode, I was like I love that for so many reasons because I also feel like it's a good first like this is our third episode. But one of the first like episodes just like have a good foundation of like where we're coming from. So if we say something, then you're like, what the? And you're like, oh, well, that's their viewpoint. That's where they came from. Yeah. That's some of their history. And totally. Yeah, I agree. I thought this was going to be light hardest. I'm about to light. I'm about to light. You're in my soul. You're testimony. Like everything. I'm sweating. I'm sweating. I'm literally dripping. I'm literally talking about our eras. You. Sixty thousand. Depression. We get knocked down. We get knocked down. That was my song. 25. Great one. Oh my god. I got knocked down. I get up again. I just think about honestly like 225 wrapped up in a little box would be or like wrapped up in one snapshot was me and Ashley and Mike in the red room. That's all smashing. I was like, I was like, yeah, that's accurate. This is like this is this year. I was like, I can't wait to see what 2020 is. That's not the snort. The snort. The snort. The snort. Okay, I got to watch my son. We could laugh at the thing. I was in a three gosh dang it. I was in a two. I was in a two. The heart and the humor. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. Heart. The humor. Heart. Wait, what is it? The heart and the heart. Yes, humor. I know it. This is to do the boys' mouths. Ask, ask, ask, Abby's. I love listening to you guys. I'm so excited just starting a new podcast. I'm a mom of a new baby girl and my question is what is the best way to find community in this new stage and how can I find friends in the best way? Thanks so much. That's a good question. That's a really good question. I feel like we're still, I feel like we've found a sweet spot at our gym. Our gym has free child care so it would naturally just be a lot of moms that gravitate towards that. A little kids. A little kids. I feel like we've met a lot of friends through that. And they're local. Locally. Yeah. On a good schedule. Totally. But I understand like gyms are expensive so that's not always. I feel like you talk about the library a lot and just going like, I feel like you've done a good job of finding a lot of child center activities to where there are a lot of other moms and kids. I feel like there's a lot of like example advice I could grab towards like obviously yeah, like find activities in your community. But I think the baseline advice for making friends as adults, John Deloney says this is go first and be weird. Which it's like it's it's really just true. Like you got to just like throw it out there and I don't think like not everyone has to be your best friend. You can hang out with people and be like, yeah, that's it's no one's in the fall. If you just like get dinner and you're like, okay, that might be the only time that we do that. No one's at fault for that. Like it's just like a clicking thing. But like I think a great way like especially when you have kids is like, why don't you just come over for dinner or some night? Because also it's like it's personal because they're seeing where you live and your kids can play together. And then you're it's not that expensive because you're probably going to make enough for every I don't know. Like you can make a little extra food. But yeah, the baseline advice there is just like go first and be weird. Just throw it out there. Like, hey, we could take our kids that we could go to the park or we could go on a walk. And I feel like honestly 99% of the time that person too is also longing for a friendship and would love to do something too. So you're not going to really get that many misses. But hey, if you do, you shot your shot. Totally fine. Like so yeah, I think like wherever you find yourself, just don't be afraid to just set something on the calendar. I remind you of in my neighborhood one day, this is a couple months ago, I was walking in a cross-street. I saw a mom with a baby in a stroller walking and I saw she was wearing a chief shirt and I yelled across the street, you're a chief fan? And I go, I'm going to come over and talk to you. I just didn't even give an opportunity. Got her number, we went on a play, a couple of play dates. And I loved her. Yeah, she was great. You got to be weird. Yeah. You got to get me weird. That's totally fine. Hi Abby, my name is Jordan and I'm a mom to a two-year-old girl and a one-year-old boy. And so I've recently started experiencing the toddler tantrums. What is one tantrum strategy that actually works for you guys and one that totally bit it? Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks, bye. Cool. The CJ third tantrums? He does, yeah. Yeah, her kid does. Also, we were on the parenting category. So that's crazy. Parent experts. We have toddlers. I've been parents for like a whole total of two years. Literally. It's a good question. I feel like I'm still trying to navigate that too. And like every kid's going to be different. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. So what works for one of my kids is not work for one of my other kids. So, or for my other kid. So one, I always recommend honestly when they're really young, two and one is so young. The art of distraction. I feel like I can distract away a lot of problems. Like, I'm like, this isn't actually like then a behavior I need to like punish. They're just having really big feelings and they're confused and they don't fully understand the details of everything in life. So when we're taking them away from something, they don't understand why they can be there. So I'm like, let's just distract them. Get them something else look forward to. And I feel like that solves a lot of them. But like honestly, I'd say 80% is just distracting away the problem. Another, whatever, what works better for an older kid. We just call it taking a break. And this is something that he doesn't view as like necessarily a consequence. It's really just more like, okay, I'm going to take him out of the situation that's causing the problem and help him calm down. And then we can talk about it because I can reason with him once he's calm. And so we just take a break. It's literally like two, three minutes. And we take a deep breath. I'll sit with him a lot of the time during the break because I don't want it to be like the consequences like you're removed from mom and dad. I don't know. It's really just to help him deescalate. And I can, he can still deescalate with us next to him. And sometimes he wants to say and sometimes he does it. But yeah, we call that take a break. And that helps also just like lower the heightened emotions. What do you do with C.J.? He's never been distractable. Really? He never worked. Like he was, he would get fixated and that would usually be what the tantrum is about. And so he's actually a kid that I can, if I explain it like, hey, this is why we can't have this right now. It usually kind of deescalates him. But when he does get overly upset and he's like, have these big feelings, I at first would just like put him in his room. And not like, I would just like, hey, you need to come in here and just like take some deep breaths. You can read your books. You can play with your toys. I'll open the window. Like, I would do all the things like, just calm down. And then he started telling me when he was not upset, he'd be like, mommy locks me in my room when I'm sad. And I was like, that's not what's happening. And so I was like, maybe that's not benefiting him. So I had to redirect my strategy with that. And I do tell him, I'm like, hey, let's get your books. Let's read. Like, I kind of a little bit of ignoring him because he just can't be reasoned with. But also offering him like, hey, I want you to hear your books. Hear your things, but I just kind of let him out in the open. And I kind of just ignore him until he calms down. And if he comes to me, I give him a hug. It's like this fine line of like comfort, but also not letting another, that behavior is okay. Like, he's not going to get what he wants in the tantrum. But also like giving him space to calm down and like, deep breathe. I don't know. I'm still figuring it out. Same. I was getting kind of long-winded, but I also think that the important thing with tantrums for me, like, I did not want them to think that they can't, there are certain emotions that are not safe to come to me with. And so like, I always try to name it in that moment. And it seems so like gentle parenting. I don't know. But I feel like it's really important because I want them to know, like, are you angry? Like, are you frustrated? Are you sad? And I feel like I want them to know, like, it's okay to be angry. Like, we can't be mean, but it's okay to be angry. And so I really want to teach them like, and I think that in doing this, it's really not that they say it out loud, but it's that they recognize in themselves. Like, my heart is racing. I feel like this type of, like, fight or flight response. But I want them to be able to know in themselves, I recognize when they're feeling these, like, what it is that's happening in their body. And so then they can also start to direct themselves better, like, in a direction, like, I think this will take their entire childhood to probably arrive at. But I think at this age, it looks like, are you feel, it's, you look like you might be angry. Yeah. Like, are you feeling angry? Are you look like you might be frustrated or usually it's frustrated and angry. Sometimes it's upset, sad. But anyway, all that sad thing, it helps to, like, kind of get in the habit of naming it. I don't know if that sounds like too. Boo-boo. Yeah, when he said mommy loves mommy close the door when I'm sad. Who do you think it is, too? Me and my parents and Caleb, everyone, I was like, buddy, you don't ever get in trouble for being sad. Like, it's okay to be sad. Yeah, I was like, ooh, keep the door open. I wanted to ask a question about what are your biggest tips for college? I'm going into college next year and I love your podcast. Thank you so much. College, wow. That's so big. Because there's so many firsts in that season. You have so many opportunities at your fingertips. And this is your time to try everything. Like, even the smallest of things to the biggest of things, like, get involved in college. Because that's when you form connections. That's when you figure out if it's, if what career you're actually interested in, I feel like I figured out a lot of my strengths and weaknesses in college just by like getting involved and trying different things. And that can be as simple as in my sorority I was on, I like, did the sugar hand shake at the door. But just being more involved in my sorority and having like a role, I felt like I got to know people better. You know, you just, you get more things presented to you when you're deeper in vault and things. Joint clubs get involved. Take risks. Try everything. My advice is don't go into debt. You can take out student loans, but try your best. This will be the first time in your life where a company will literally be like, I'll give you a little plastic card and you can just swipe it. And people will give you what you want. And that's the first time that that'll happen and that will feel like magic. And it's going to come with real consequences when honestly just very shortly down the road that will actually impact the rest of your life. And I say this because I know so many people in college that I went into so much debt. And it's really, it's hard to have that discipline when there's so many shiny things that you want. And people getting big fancy coffees every day or have the newest tech or the best clothes. It's so tempting, but remain disciplined in your finances from the very beginning because it is just the first time in life that you can make this pitfall. It's a trap. Oh, I mean, that's a really good advice. I remember when I was 18, you hear the number you're like $20,000 and you're like, well, if you make $100,000 a year, what's $20k? But like, that's a ton of money and it'll grow. And when you come out of college, like, oh my gosh, starting in a big pool of debt is really overwhelming. It's just like a really hard way to enter adulthood. So yeah, if you can minimize that the best you can, do the best you can. And that's a wrap. Sorry, we were really long-winded this week. Some of that might get edited out and that's okay. But thanks for being here, guys. Wow. Really, they're really getting to know us really quick. You actually know everything. That's what I got to say. And remember, we're always here.