Team USA, Turmoil, Italy v. France | Monday Morning Podcast 2-23-26

hey what's going on it's bill bird it's time for the monday morning podcast for monday february 23rd 2026 what's going on how are you oh my god i just fucking woke up my whole family my whole family it was in the living room in my pajamas my pajamas my pajamas my pijams and I was just sitting there going, we're going to lose to these guys. You know, they're going to tie it up. There it is. They tied it up. Who's going to get it in overtime? McDavid, McKinnon, fucking Sidney Crosby again. Brad Marchand, fucking Wilson. Not anybody but him, right? Dude, we scored. I don't know anybody's names, okay? So don't even get on me, okay? I know Austin Matthews and I know Charlie McAvoy. And other than that, I got two kids under the age of 10, and I'm constantly going up on the roof getting fucking baseballs off of it. So I don't know anybody's name. That kid who took the four-minute minor to the face. Dude, it was classic, classic hockey. McDavid's coming down. We're like, ah, fuck, it's over. They make the save or whatever. He got the puck away from him, and then all of a sudden it's a three-on-one down the other way. I still I can't I can't I couldn't believe it went in I was standing there I didn't even like scream I was standing there and I had my arms up and then they were all celebrating and I was waiting I was waiting for a whistle I was waiting for him to call it back I was waiting to find out we had another game and then it was just like I had like here three times the Americans win the gold I thought once they went pro, I was like, I didn't think we were ever going to beat Team Canada. They're just, they're so goddamn good. I mean, still, even with the whole world, Russia, all of Europe and everybody coming in, like nobody has a team like Team Canada. So I can't believe we won. Congratulations. Congratulations to Austin Matthews. maybe these fucking Maple Leaf fans will start blaming him for being so unlucky that he got drafted by you guys how the fuck do you not win for 59 years and you're blaming some kid in his 20s like the people on the Maple Leafs that won for you guys are in their 80s and 90s now the last time you won most of the people in the crowd that watched are dead it's not his fault good Will Hunting. It's not your fault. Charlie McAvoy, BU kid. I mean, I think the kid who scored the overtime goal was a BU kid. Did you see his postgame interview? He said the same four things like five times in a row. And I was thinking, you know what? Maybe he's a little concussed because you kind of forget it's a hockey stick. It's a part of the game. It's also a wooden club that he took to the skull. Anyways, I was being a dick too when we won. I was screaming, oh my God, Oh, my God. And then I just started doing that fucking announcer for the Canadians. Oh, and Team Canada was like, how did that go in? Heck of a toe save by Montalbó. They didn't get it out. You got to get it out. Congratulations to the men's and the women's, by the way, and the women's. They were unbelievably entertaining. And I'm telling you this right now, women's sports is going to fucking grow as fast as AI. I feel like it is now. And because what's going to happen is they're just going to keep getting better. There's going to be some stories and all of that shit. And next thing you know, men will be watching it and supporting it. And that's what's going to put them over the top. We've waited long enough for the women to give a shit after all of their speeches at the Emmys. They don't support one another. So it's going to be up to us, and we're up for the job. You know, I feel like women's basketball is like 10 times better than it was three to four years ago. The softball's the shit. Volleyball's always been fun to watch. Sorry. The hockey's great. I mean, Jesus Christ, they were carrying the UFC for a long time. So I don't know. I think it'll be a great thing. would that be amazing if all of a sudden they just took over and it was all like women's sports and then women like sports and then that just cured like 90% of divorces oh Jesus unbelievable un-fucking-belie I never, never dude last time we won a gold medal I was 11 years old this is how long ago it was since the U.S. men's team won the gold medal. Like, Toronto was only 14 years removed from winning the Stanley Cup. But that's saying something, right? I don't know. The Maple Leafs won't win it again this year, but at least you have Drake, right? You have Drake. You have Rush. You're the media capital of Canada. You got the Blue Jays. You know, Raptors won it a few years ago. Sorry, I got a fucking fighting off this cold. I mean, it got me. Last few days, I've just been, like, fighting it off. Oh, my God. I cannot fucking believe we won that game. I knew it was coming. The overtime goal was coming, and I was just, who's it going to be? who is it going to be and like I don't even think like Canadian fans celebrate when they win the gold medal as much as it is like relief I just think the pressure for them to win it there's only one medal you can win it's the gold medal or else you got to go back there and listen to all these whining cunts especially the Canadian fans there's a lot of loafer wearing pocket square having man boys up there that can't even handle stubbing their toe are going to criticize that Team Canada, man. It was a great, they had a great show. What are you going to do? You lost in sudden death. God knows an American hockey fan knows what the fuck that feels like. So condolences to Team Canada and to the real fans in Canada. But all you fucking finger pointing fucking nerds who never got picked in gym class. Go to Tim Hortons and get yourself a donut. Have another donut, you fat pig. One of the greatest quotes in all of hockey. Hey, Kowarski, have another donut, you fat pig. Donut. And somehow it made it seem more fattening the way he drew it out with his Canadian accent. anyway and just like that just like that the thrill of victory is now starting to fade and then what happens you have to face your life speaking of facing life Jesus Christ somebody sent me this clip from Bill Maher's Real Time and these people were sitting around talking about AI and nobody ever says, why are they doing this? Why are they doing it? Nobody wants this. And they're just talking about how to deal with it, how you have to adjust to it. Those who adjust to it last are going to be left behind, just trying to get their herd to start running. But no one just sits there and says, you know, since the beginning of time, The king and the queen never wanted to pay anybody underneath them for their labor. Slavery, indentured servitude, the serfs, whatever, the feudalism system, the industrial revolution, the amount of people that died going on strike, going, you have to pay us. We're getting injured at work and all of this stuff. and there was always some rich guy and he had enough money, all the money that he was stealing from his workers, he'd pay for leg breakers to come down there and smash people over the fucking head. And then we finally get unions and then they get mad so they move the factories out of the country so then they can treat people in other countries, these innocent people, the way they treated people here in the 1800s. Well, now they have fucking AI. So they could do what they've always wanted to do, not pay anybody anything. except this time it's going to be permanent they're going to fire 10 to 20 percent of the labor force causing a depression for no reason other than the fact that they are insatiable and cannot have enough fucking money like when is a politician on either side going to stand up and stop these people it's fucking insane because then all of those people are going to go on unemployment unemployment is paid through taxes the fucking people who are creating it don't pay taxes and then that'll come out at whoever still has a job left check and we'll be eating each other and you watch they're gonna they're gonna get us to just fucking kill each other we need to all come together and just stop and stop having them divide us by red ties and blue ties in skin color and sexual preference it's us versus a very small amount of them but ted turner and rupert murdoch will never let you hear that story they're just going to keep going it's the liberals it's the conservatives and keep us fighting with each other it's unreal like the the level of fucking it's it happens in my business with these fucking streaming services they've put half this town out of business they clearly all got together and colluded during the strike they're not paying anybody anything and then what kills me is then they these executives they show up at these these events and they're all smiling and you want to be like, what are you smiling about? Does it warm your heart that you're ending all of these people's dreams and their abilities to pay their rent? They're, they're literally not human beings. They're fucking reptiles. And I have to say the amount of like junior executives working at these streaming companies, feeling like they're on the bus that's running all the artists over. It's like you're on the bus, but you don't realize you're on the hood hanging onto the fucking hood ornament, like Indiana Jones. Like I saw On that real time with Bill Maher, they said that AI is now writing its own code. So even if you wrote AI code, now you're out of a job. I don't know. I just don't understand. And nobody's going to do anything about it. You know? Why would they? That Pelosi lady, she makes a couple hundred grand a year. Her portfolio is worth $100 million. dollars. She's a fucking criminal. Fucking criminal. They're all fucking criminals. Trump has made like a billion dollars for himself. They're fucking criminals. Criminals. But she's a liberal. He's a conservative. So you got to like look the other way and you ignore Pelosi if you're on the left and you fucking point your finger at Trump. Or if you're on the right, You ignore Trump and you point your finger at the, like, I don't know. Like they can literally do any, anything that they want to do. They can go to Epstein Island. They can come up with their own fucking money system. They can post videos of the Obama's heads on top of monkeys and just nothing happens. Nothing happens. But I'll tell you, you know who they keep their eye on? stand-up comedians stand-up can you do the jokes in the wrong place oh they'll be hell to pay they will be hell to fucking pay all the rest of the shit don't worry about it anyway um this is the first cold that i caught in a uh in over a year i was doing great but my son finally got a cold and uh what am i not gonna hug him you know and he does this thing when i read him a book like he literally puts his head on my head and then if he has a book that has like sound effects on it he like has like both forearms on my stomach and he has all his weight on his elbows and I'm like dude first of all your head is blocking the book and he just thinks it's funny and he was all in my grill and then the next day the next day I had the cold and that was it I'm still trying to remember what that girl said to him. Just the way kids put things. Do you know how to whistle? Yes, I do, but I can't do it yet. Something like that. Yes, I do, but I can't. I know how to whistle. I just can't do it. It was somewhere in that, but said in that cute kid way. So anyway, anyway, anyway. I just wish there was, you know, it's so brilliant how shit started to get deregulated under Reagan. And here we are 46 years later and there's like no journalism left. There's no one to be, to say, have you no shame. You know, I just want somebody on a live television program to ask these fucking billionaires on their way to being trillionaires, just ask them, why are you doing this? Like, you understand what you're going to be doing. You're going to be making people out in the street, begging for food, begging for money, begging for shelter. You already have a 40 square foot mansion why are you doing this Why would you do this to other people how do you sleep at night do you believe in a higher power do you feel like there judgment after this do you have access to top secret files that tell you without a doubt that we made up all this god shit so this is how you can live this way because you have no fear of an afterlife judgment is that what's going on because that's what i've noticed about all of these fucking people the heads of all of these religions the heads of all of these corporations the leaders of countries the way they they tell you to live this moral lifestyle and uh you know the heaven and hell thing and none of them seem to be even remotely living a life that's going to get them through the pearly gates. Or maybe they actually are really close to immortality. They're just going to keep living, which I don't understand. Like why you would want to keep living. I get wanting to live a full life, you know living into your 80s, 90s you know, with all your faculties, right? You don't want to suffer quality of life still there, I get that but like, you just want to keep living like a fucking vampire and it's like, alright, so they can keep like oh dude, I thought about this a long time ago, I feel like in the future once they know how to keep people alive forever. The only purpose human beings will have is to reproduce with each other so they can use us as like a parts car. Like when they need a liver, they just, all right, bring me one of those. I'll take a liver, one kidney and a couple of lungs, you know, and then they can just sit there doing blow and overdosing and fucking shooting heroin. You know, having sex with like fucking robots and shit. And then every once in a while, they'll just go into their parts car and have sex with an actual human. They'll call it going, you know, I've been eating clean lately. I've been fucking organically. I'm actually having sex with a human being. Granted, it's against their will, but we've all been doing that down on Epstein Island for years. So we know that doesn't bug us, you know? And as dark as this is, this is actually stuff that they probably talk about at those fucking Bilderberg meetings, which once again is totally fine. Nobody has a problem with that. There's no reason to cover it on the news. Nothing to see here. And yeah, well, like I said, you know, don't tweet the wrong thing. Oh boy, oh boy, as a regular person, you're going to get yourself in trouble there. so anyway anywho um I still feels like we have another game I cannot fucking believe it I just I I I cannot I can't believe it um anyway it's old Billy Freckles been fighting off this cold uh I've been having some of the best sets of my life though despite being uh despite being sick here I had a friend of mine sent me this fucking such a nice uh text after one of my sets saying that they could see that there was a real change in me and that my whole vibe on stage was more open and more vulnerable And then what I loved was I said, it was still unhinged and crazy, but it was lighter. That made me feel good. I'm still journaling. I'm still meditating. And I'm still doing yoga. Not every day, but it's like, I don't know, I'm a changed person. The anger is gone. and how can I be angry when the women's and men's U.S. hockey teams have won gold? Oh, and Team Canada's like, they beat both the men and the women. What do we do next? Do we go up against the they's? How about we go up Native Americans versus the originals? Oh, Jesus. Anyway, I have some gigs coming up in Canada. Not for a while, though. I think not until the end of August. But I don't think that'll be too soon to bring it up. I'm going to have a good time talking about that. Come on, guys. You can't win it. You can't win it all the time. But I will say, I feel like women's hockey, the U.S. team, we've won it like at least two times in a row. I feel like we won it four years ago and then we lost in overtime. The men's did. So I'll have to look that up. Either way, I really, like I was saying, I really feel that women's sports, the level of play in the last three years has got to the point where I watch the shit now, which is critical for women's sports. In order for women's sports to be successful, men have to watch it because I don't know why they, they're just not supporting each other. There's a lot of chatter out there about supporting one another. You know, we'll see if it happens, which would be great. Oh my God. How amazing would that be for the male female dynamic? if women got into sports too. I mean, I tried to do the reverse. I got into like Real Housewives and I started watching that shit with my wife. You know, it definitely helped the relationship. I don't know. It just doesn't go the other way though. You know, that's funny. Men are much better at doing something they don't want to do just to keep the peace in the relationship. You know, where I feel like if women are asked to do that, they just start crying. I mean, you saw me sitting here in the second period. You can see I wasn't having a good time. You didn't even say anything. Um, sorry. Anyway, plowing ahead here. So in the future, um, when we all get replaced, it would be amazing if we could finally all just get on the same page. And I feel like that is the number one thing that they're working on. I think that that's why right now is just so crazy and so fucking unhinged. And I feel like those Epstein Island files coming out and, and all of this shit that Trump is doing and all just, it just in the 24 hour news networks, it's just all designed to get people to be running around like their heads are on fire. So no one could just stop. Just stop and just be like, what are we doing? Why is there no harmony? Why is everything us against this or us against them? Us against that? Why aren't, if we're all in all of this, God and first responders and support the troops and all of that, family values and all of that, and all of these, that these fucking politicians and rich people are doing is heading us towards civil war, false flag wars, poverty and absolute chaos. like why are they doing that they need to be stopped I have no idea how to do it they own the military they own the cops the national guard they got the money and they got the media and whatever they want you to think they're just going to broadcast it and that's it all right you tell one half to think this you tell the other half to think that and you just say that your our way is totally fucking right and these people are going to ruin the country and then just get that going and then we can just keep going you know the direction we're going which is just totally taking everything for ourselves I don't think that what happened in World War II was an anomaly. I don't think that that is, you know, it's just, it's documented. There's film of it. So you can actually see what that level of evil looks like. I feel like that is cyclical. And we are just headed towards that again. we have a bunch of Mussolini's and Hitler's and Stalin's and you know just going you know and FDR's and fucking Churchill's and all that let's be honest they all committed war crimes and they all knew it and when we firebombed Dresden we knew god damn well if we lost that war it's like you know those guys said that you know if we lose this war we're all gonna get fucking killed for doing this shit it's just all fucking horrific shit this is a comedy podcast everybody no yeah I don't know how to stop any of this shit I'm just going to try to be a good dude that's it that's it try to help people out try to treat people the way that I want to be treated and then just try to get everybody to settle down everybody's cool except for these fucking rich cunts that's it what exactly is Jesus waiting for he better get back here soon or no one's going to believe it's him it's fucking AI how come he's walking on the water again why does he do an original miracle that would be hilarious wait doesn't it say that in the Bible I don't fucking know and I will come back and you will deny me fucking six times sorry I had to blow my nose there and you will deny me six times I don't know I will say this though for a God that loves us, he certainly makes a lot of pretty colorful characters, doesn't he? You know? I think God takes this balance of the universe thing a little too seriously. You know, for every such and such amount of good, decent, empathetic people, I have to make this amount of sociopaths And absolute fucking mouth-breathing morons. I think that's why I never fully got into politics on one side or the other. Because once you go political, it's like... In like... Three days. You're just going to meet mouth-breathing morons on either side. And both sides are just 100% convinced that they are 100% right. And there is no room for any other way of thinking other than the way that they think. And which is the level of ignorance as a human being to actually think that way. Like just look at your life. How many fucking times you think you know what you're doing. You think you have the answers. You think you got it all figured out. And what is life doing? It gives you the right there thread, right? Like this morning, I'm all impressed with my fucking Billy Barista skills. I got the game on in the background. I go to make a coffee. Big bang, boom, right? I go to like, I got it down to a system. And I pour the shot, do the latte art. Everything's great. Now I'm taking my, just did the shot. I'm knocking it on the rubber thing to have it drop down into the cup. That works. and then I go to tip it over and the little hockey puck of fucking coffee bangs off that rubber thing that you hit the thing on, misses the fucking barrel completely and lands on the floor. Giant fucking mess. Giant fucking mess. Right there. The fact that I've done that a million times and that never happened and then it happens then, right there. That's just a little reminder. Like, hey, Bill, you know, let's not go around thinking we're fucking smart and then we know everything. hit the floor. Old me would have fucking flipped out. New me laughs. And just says, you know, what am I going to do? Picked most of it up in my hand. I got the vacuum cleaner, cleaned it up. It was over. Coffee tasted delicious. I didn't freak my family out. I was humbled in that moment. I was reminded that I don't know what the fuck I'm doing most of the time. so why would I go around telling other people what to do I mean the information out there if you want to if you want to receive it that all i saying um all right well i gotta i still don have the advertising reads here so uh i gonna hit pause here gonna go play some drums um i've been telling you guys i've been i've been really listening to a lot of pantera and uh this one song the intro all the drum parts vinnie paul rest his soul that war nerf. You know. That fucking thing in the beginning. He's playing triplets. And then it goes got that whole part. And then And then Phil comes in, you know. I've been having a great time doing that. Because I told you, I got that dad jam thing every Sunday. And I'm playing with some people that are into like Pantera and Primus and stuff. So two of my favorite drummers of all time, Tim Alexander and Vinnie Paul. And let's get my double bass chops going again. Let's be honest, not chops, my attempts, my attempts to do it. All right. I'm going to hit pause here. Work on my Pantera. And I'm going to finish this podcast a little bit later. All right. All right. And I'm back. Getting over this fucking cold, dude. It's fucking cold. Hey, so, um, of course there's not a bunch of Canadian fans. Now that the championship has been 24 hours old at this point, there's some of them grumbling, talking about how it was three on three and blah, blah, blah. And that's, oops. And that's not real hockey. What do you mean it's not real hockey? What the fuck are you talking about? Like, first of all, like, didn't three-on-three, wasn't that more advantageous for them? Three-on-three? Who are we going to put out there? All we have is Carter McDavid, Nathan McKinnon, Brad Marchand, Sidney Crosby. It's a fucking Hall of Fame team. What are you whining about? And also, last time we played you in international play, we fucking beat you cunts. And we advanced to the championship round. And the way the tournament was set up, Canada was allowed to play their way into the championship. and then we met Canada in the final and then it became that the United States had to beat Canada twice we had to go 2-0 against them to be champions of that tournament Canada only had to go 1-1 they came into the championship game they beat us we beat them they beat us we were 1-1 they were 1-1 they were the champions it's like all right I mean that's bullshit but if that's the way it's set up like that first game is considered like a regular season game, so it doesn't count. All right. I didn't hear any Canadians whining about that. That didn't make sense to me. You know, I don't know what to tell you. See you in four years, fuckos. No, actually, I'll see you in August. I'm doing some gigs up there. I don't think it'll be too soon to bring this up. Oh, my God. Somebody sent me this fucking video on Trump's fucking. Whatever his social media, I'm not on social anymore, so people just text me shit. I had to look up to make sure it was real. It was a him him playing hockey in a suit. He had a stick gloves, his suit with his red tie, no helmet. And he was just skating around beating everybody. at first I thought it was Vladimir Putin highlights I don't know if you've ever seen him when he at least Vladdy Daddy actually gets on the fucking ice shout out to Stuart Scott one of my favorite nicknames ever rest his soul when he used to call Vladdy Divac Vladdy Daddy I fucking love that guy Vladdy Daddy yeah no this is the thing there's an unbelievable education that is not given out there. And it's for human beings to recognize when they're working for, living with, in a relationship, or maybe your parent is a narcissist. It's fucking wild. It's wild because when you're in it, you're blaming yourself the whole time. And then when you come out of it, you're like, what the fuck was that? Why was I so stupid? And then if you actually pursue everything that the narcissist said, it ends up being like the ending of the usual suspects. Remember when Kevin Spacey's foot straightened out and he walks away and the guy realizes everything was bullshit. That's kind of like what it is. So if you look at this narcissistic behavior, it's like the U.S. hockey team won a gold medal. Okay. It's their time. they did it he figured out a way to make it about him and he single-handedly is out there beating team canada like he's somehow an extension of it's like that like right there he saw whoever made that video he saw it and it made sense to him because that's how they view the prism that they view the world through is all like through them so i don't know what that was i think that that was like his man fantasy of wishing he was young that he was still on the team it's fucking unhinged um dude we're going on 12 years of this we're on 12 years of mentally ill people running this country and it is not going good i feel like both sides are like oh yeah that's your unhinged guy, here's our unhinged guy. Joe Biden, whatever the fuck that was. They used to put sunglasses on Joe Biden because he would, I believe, because when he would lose his place during his speech, he'd have panic in his eye. And I think it would cause like the stock market to plummet. So they started putting him out there wearing fucking aviators. But yeah, if you dated, one of the hardest things is to have a parent for a narcissist, because then you have to undo your whole fucking childhood and it's like truths that are so fucking like real it's so true like you just you look up to your parents like you know they're they're superheroes too so these things that they tell you know you know hopefully just have one you come out the other side and like years and decades later you go wait a minute that doesn't make any fucking sense that that was just a fucking straight up lie that was a fucking lie that was just a lie the whole thing was a fucking lie so anyway I don't know what are you gonna fucking do um all right let me uh let me do some of the reads here The 13th annual Patrice O'Neill comedy benefit. I can't believe we've been doing it 13 years already. April 28th. It's a Tuesday at New York City Center. In New York City, we have an incredible lineup. Adam Ray, David Tell, Drew Dunn, Jordan Jensen, Matt Richards, Zanigarg, and me, Bill Burr. And as always, the great Rich Voss will be emceeing. dare I say a reverse narcissist. I'm just gonna make fun of Rich the entire fucking time and then right before the benefit we'll have him on the podcast and he can trash me like the old days. Tickets are on sale now. They can be purchased at patricecomedybenefit.live. All right let's get into the reeds here. Helix, everybody. Helix, how are you navigating the colder season and spending more time? Oh, how are you navigating the colder season and spending more time indoors? Parentheses, in your bedroom? Staying comfortable inside with your Helix mattress? A good night's rest sets you up for a great day. 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Upgrade your day with workwear built like it matters. Get 15% off your first order at truework.com with code burr. That's truework.com. T-R-U-E-W-E-R-K.com. fuck yeah bro that's called ad reads um anyway anyway why does it always go up to the top even when I don scroll it like that You know I asked you guys I asked you guys All right sport commentators Um, my wife asking me how I'm doing, taking care of me when I'm sick. I'll tell you she's all right. Sports commentators. Hello, Mr. Burr. Thanks for the making me feel my age. Hello, Mr. Burr. I was wondering if your son is home. Thanks for the podcast. Writing from Berlin, Germany about sports commentators. Imagine you watch football, soccer in Germany, pure negativity, expecting failure, waiting for the mistakes. Game starts, the guy leans back and is like, oh no, I have to go through 90 minutes of embarrassment and failure in missed passes and whatnot. Don't they sell a product, the German Football League? Do they not enjoy the game? No idea. Oh, you're saying the announcers over there? Trash? Their own team? That's kind of funny. Sounds like some major league shit. Don't they sell the product, the German Football League? Do they not enjoy the game? No idea. Last example, if you listen and watch the British commentators and some player fucks up, silence. Everyone saw it. No need to put the finger in the wound or to say, or they turn it around. Good pressure by the defending team. Provocation of a mistake. Something like this. Sell the product. Or am I wrong? Is it a German thing? Yeah, scheidenfreude. How is it in the U.S.? So, so, thanks for the podcast. Greetings. Sorry about my English and have a good day. There's definitely negative people, but people feel more like over here. They never don't sell the game. They always sell the game. That's what's funny when you know it's going to be a bad game and you just listen to this guy have to put on his positive hat and tell you how this is actually going to be, you know, when like the fucking Pelicans were playing the Warriors back in the day, like they, you know, there'd always be somebody selling the game like this was going to be a close contest. But I feel more like there's definitely former players that have grudges against teams or players, it seems, when you're watching. The funny thing was Tim McCarver. When Tim McCarver was in the booth, all Red Sox fans thought he hated the Red Sox, and all Yankee fans thought he hated the Yankees, and I think both were true. He was a St. Louis Cardinal, and I think he was in the Boston organization and I think they cut him something happened so he didn't like us for that and then he didn't like the Yankees because they were fucking winning all the time and fuck those guys so I kind of liked that he didn't like it but um you know I live over here in capitalism so all it is is you know we sell everything regardless what it does to people like literally synthetic heroin we're like this is amazing like my favorite thing now is like all these new drugs that are coming out like they literally come out with like the original name is like the street name like that sky rizzy like am i really supposed to think like that's the name of the product that's like something like a drug dealer would say like back in the day going down to the boston comedy club in the village weed coke sky rizzy yo i got that sky rizzy that just sounds like a psychedelic so yes in answer to your question the people who announce over here are painfully aware that they work for a billion dollar corporation so you know they don't criticize the game or shit on the fucking team because they want to get paid sorry I'm getting fucking dressed here you didn't need to know that did you sorry I just get conscious about the fucking the noises I'm making here. I went down to a fucking monster truck thing yesterday with my son. And afterward, we got to meet some of the drivers. We did the meet and greet thing. I got the full package. And I was just watching that thing going like, the level of herniated discs that these guys must suffer. Because the amount of times like they would go flying through the air and then they would land hard and like the steering column would just fucking break or something. and they couldn't drive anymore. And I'm like, all right, well, that just broke metal. What is that doing to bone and cartilage? Like, what is going on there? So I got to talk to one of the drivers. I was kind of joking about it. I was saying, you know, hey, how much does your back take that impact? He goes, well, he goes, it depends on the night. It all depends. You know, he goes, the truck takes 90% and he goes, we take 10%, but on any given night. and like, I was trying to keep it light. I go, how tall were you when you first started this sport? And the guy goes, oh yeah, I've definitely lost some inches. And I was like, oh my God. This dude talked about how he broke his fucking sternum. Like I felt like I was talking to like a NFL running back. So the next time you go to one of those monster truck things, I have to tell you, also being in show business, the sacrifice that these people are making to put a show on for you is fucking incredible. I went with another dad buddy of mine. We brought our sons. It was fucking awesome. Had a great time down in Anaheim. Traffic wasn't too bad either. Anyway, let me do some of the reads here, and then I got to get on with my fucking dad day here. The dad day. Okay, let's see here. What's the next question? Is this head-to-head, huh? Okay, head-to-head. Hey, Billy Blumpkins, I know you fancy yourself a bit of a Frenchman, but these winter Olympics going on, you seem to get a twinkle in your eye and a fondness in your words for the Italians. I love Italians. I love Italy. I love their food, the whole thing. I often find myself going back and forth between these two cultural behemoths of Europe, the French and the Italian. Oh, dude, I love France, Italy, Greece. I want to go to Spain in Portugal, anything along the Mediterranean. I just feel like people know how to live. Their food is great. The women are beautiful. The weather's awesome. I love that part of the world. I felt the same way when I went to Tel Aviv, when I was in Israel. I didn't get any shit for that. Jesus Christ, it's such a funny world. But I went there and it was great. Women were beautiful. it was fucking insane it's so fucking insane Israel was the most insane place I went to it was just like what are we fighting this fucking place is gorgeous everybody here is gorgeous food's fucking awesome almost said look at the lake the Mediterranean Sea's right here like what is the fucking what is the problem oh that's right the cunts at the top that's what it is cunts at the top on both sides they're gonna do this they're gonna do that it's like no you are You're doing that. You think that. We don't. We're just hanging out, having a fucking kebab, you cunt. Greedy fucks. Anyway, I often find myself going back and forth between these two cultures. So I want to know which country you would tip the nod to. Oh, I love this. In this following head-to-head challenge of who does it better. Cars. Oh, Italy. Come on, dude. That was that was insulting weather um i want to say italy they're further are they further south they're kind of the same i would say that's a push language oh i like french a little bit i i love them both fuck that's a push capital city i gotta go paris art come on people you know me I'm not a fucking I would say the Italians you know anybody lays on their back for fucking three months painting some priest's ceiling I gotta give it to you coffee oh no doubt fucking Italy wine ooh oh oh you motherfuckers dude what the fuck wine I mean I love a Barolo alright it's wine and cheese of the next two dude you can't you can't you just can't food overall I gotta go Italy dude wine and cheese is a push and then the women oh my god dude you're just making me realize how much I love this part of the world. I gotta go, oh, Parisian woman, get the fuck out of here. Makes you be a better man. Just like fucking Jack Nicholson. Yeah, I'd have to say, I'd give them the note. I just love the way they dress. Parisians in general. It's all muted, and then bam, it's a scarf. It's an umbrella. It's just something, a little pop of color. They're so fucking stylish. It's ridiculous. Anyway, maybe my answers will change after your response but this is what I got cars Italy hands down Ferrari Lamborghini Maserati up against Bugatti is a Bugatti a Bugatti is French that sounds Italian I don't like the Bugatti a Renault is like old money and new money if you know what I mean uh weather I'm going with France here but I'm also from the Pacific Northwest so I could be language, both romance language, but on the other side of romance. Italy has gangster, and whereas French is just weaselly. Italian gets the win here. Dude, this is a fun game. Capital city. I simply don't understand why people cream themselves over Paris. The ancient ruins in the Vatican. Oh, isn't the Vatican great, where all those people were fucking molested and all the stolen shit in the basement. And they found all of those Jewish people's valuables from World War II in there. Dude, fuck the Vatican. Don't put the Vatican in that. That has nothing to do with Rome. It's a sovereign state. The Vatican is not part of Italy. That's its own country. But I will say the food in Rome was unbelievable. I don't give a fuck about the ruins. I really don't. I just love the whole vibe there and the energy of the city. I mean, it's really a push. Anyways, the person said, the ancient ruins in the Vatican give the Louvre and the tower a run for its money. And in my opinion, the city is way more walkable and welcoming. Rome all the way. They're definitely friendlier in Rome. Not saying they're friendly, but they're friendlier. I think there's a certain level of ego that comes into living in one of the best cities, you know, and it's kind of funny because everybody thinks that they're the reason, they're part of the reason the city's awesome. And, you know, like they're leading the race when they're really drafting behind it, you know, like New Yorkers are like that. New Yorkers all just think they're fucking fascinating people. And they also feel that everyone is enamored with them. Now, New York City is a fucking magical, amazing fucking place. But, you know, I stopped short of saying that all of the people there are the same. They're not. It's the overall. It's the overall. And it has to do with all the people that pass through and visit, interacting with the people that fucking live there. But most, you know, I mean, it's a really like low-key meathead city. And I'm coming from Boston, so game recognizes game. Like Boston, New York, and Philly, it's the same meathead with a different accent. And Skyline or whatever. But I love all of those cities. All right, what happened? This thing just went all the way up here. Okay, art. This is a dead tie. Monet. Dude, I don't know any of these people. Cizane, Rodin falls short compared to Da Vinci, Carvaccio, and Bernini for the painting and sculpture division. But French absolutely kills it in the philosophy program with Descartes, Voltaire. Okay, dude, I get it. You're smart. And the fucking Enlightenment. There you go. Coffee, another close one. Really? But I had a cup of coffee north of Milan that made me cry, whereas every cup of coffee given to me in France came with a side of judgment. This one goes to Italy for me. I thought the coffee in France fucking sucked. They're more like into tea. I think that's how they roll. I'm not sure. But, all right, cheese, Parmesan. All right, sorry, cut off my wife. FaceTime me. All right, we're with cheese. food. Sorry, man. All the duck and raw meat in the world will never stand up to pasta. I agree. Women, probably the hardest one of the lot, but I'm going France here merely for the lower likelihood of having to wake up early for a church on Sunday morning after a night with them. Now that you're fluent in French, maybe you'll start taking some Italian lessons anyways. Thanks for all the laughs and go fuck yourself. I wish I was fluent in French. I am not. All right. I have to wrap this podcast up. I got to go do some family shit here. Thank you guys for listening. I appreciate it. What else? I don't know what it is. Just, you know, I don't know. That fucking hockey video. Jesus Christ. Unhinged narcissist. Nothing we can do about it, but, you know, just fucking try to educate yourself and try never to work for, live with, fall in love with something like that. It's a mentally ill, mentally ill situation. All right, that's it. Go fuck yourselves. I'll check in on you on Thursday.