How Austin Has Changed with Jamie Kilstein - CHIT CHAT WEDNESDAY

Chit Chat Wednesday for you to listen to. I have a guest who will be your new boo. You're gonna love them too. Chit Chat Wednesday, I hope you're having a good day today. I hope it's gonna be a perfect week too. I hope you have a nice poo It's a chit-chat Wednesday too Hello and welcome to the J-Train Podcast This is J-Train Jared Freed coming to you live I'm from Delray Beach, Florida, that's right Every Wednesday is a chit-chat Wednesday Where I sit with a comedian, a friend, an expert Today, I got three out of three friend, comedian, expert. I would say an expert in what's going on in the world. I feel like you're a worldly guy. You're in touch with what's happening on a day-to-day basis, the temperature check of the world, and I'm excited to have them back on the J Train podcast. Jamie Kilstein, thank you for coming on the show. Hi, buddy. It's really good to see you. I haven't seen you since you moved to Florida, and I'm like shockingly happy for you. I love it here. I, I, you gotta come check it out. I, I, Florida gets, you know, Florida, obviously it's, it's, it's some one of the, it's one of those places that makes people respond. You know, when you live in Florida, it's like, you know, and I notice it. I noticed that people are like, you know, there's, there's a question of like, have you given up when you say you've moved to Florida? There's a question. You know what I mean? Well, well, I mean, I get the same thing here because I'm in Texas and, uh, Texas is, uh, or Florida is very much like the Texas of the sea. And to me, because I was a Jew raised in New Jersey, Florida will always equal no matter how political I am, no matter how like Florida will always equal. You have succeeded and you have retired. And so I always say that's where my, my dad and stepmom are that's where I think most Jewish New Jersey parents end up and I'm just like Jared got ahead of it and he fucking succeeded and he's in Florida and I'm very happy for that well you know it's interesting you say that it's succeeded and retired is it's funny like I think people here like when you ask someone who's it's a lot of people telling you their rationalizations that they made before moving here. Like, it's a lot of defending it. People are very insecure about moving here. It's like when you tell someone you're polyamorous and, like, right away you have to be like, it works for us. Right, right, right, right. This is, I'm the thing. You know, labeling yourself as the thing is, I moved to Florida, and now here's 700 reasons why it's not the most horrific thing I assumed you thought when I said I'm the thing. Yeah. Do you think you're going to get to a point where like, because you're clearly happy, where you're going to get confident in it and like don't automatically project what you think, especially like your like liberal artsy friends are going to think, and you can just be like, there's fucking rules, come hang out. I like to think that I'm above it, but I'm not because I do. But it's not, I'm above it for the political thing. Like, I don't, I think when someone, when I say I moved to Florida and someone goes in the political direction, I'm like, that's not my insecurity. Like, you know, it's like if someone calls me short, I'm like, okay, I've never really been insecure of my height. You know, but if someone called me fat, I would be hurt by it. So when someone calls me, when someone says, oh whoa how yeah how you doing with all those you know right winger you know florida you know florida man i'm not really affected by that that doesn't really like my brain more goes in the given up on you know pursuing success and that's where i become like no no i can do it from anywhere and i can do my podcast i can go on the road and i hope yeah that and i don't know if i'm ever gonna have to I don't know if I ever can stop doing that unless I become you know one of the biggest comedians alive you know like I'd have to join the group and it's also like becoming a comedian you know you know you know this like you're either Jerry Seinfeld or you're a loser who isn't yeah you're not making it yeah you're Chris Rocker it's just a phase he's working through right and and you really think highly of yourself and again like we're making assumptions for what other people think but we're thinking of the worst person and then and then you what makes it great is when you meet someone who gets it like when you tell someone i'm a comedian and they're like oh my god i'm a huge fan of this person that person and this person do you go on the road do you have a podcast oh what are the things you have going on you know when someone genuinely comes up to you you're almost like you bathe in refreshment you know it's it's so interesting god so many of the things you brought up because to me i i've always had this um gut feeling that i was gonna do what you're gonna do and honestly like this fall it there's gonna come a point where i'm gonna figure out if i'm gonna go back to a new york or la or if i'm gonna do like a wild card like what you're doing because a bunch of big things coming up and maybe I'm going to be given the answer. Um, and I'm okay with that. But what's interesting is, you know, I moved to Austin before Rogan came here and, and Austin was one of these places kind of like Denver where it was like this artsy liberal city in the middle of like militias. And every time I visited here or Denver or Boulder, I would just meet the coolest people because they weren't as sort of privileged maybe as we were in New York or LA. They were a little realer, especially than LA. And they made a fucking move to go somewhere cool that like represented them. And now, you know, so when I was coming up and, you know, all I wanted to be was Bill Hicks and off the grid. I mean, this was I was burnt out of social media during my space, dude, like train wreck now. And I always said, like, I kind of I was like, I want to get famous enough to be able to move to because I associated Austin with like Stevie Ray Vaughan and Bill Hicks. Right. You're referencing. And for people that don't know, again, like this is the hard part about a town kind of moving in a direction that you never saw coming is you. This is the Keep Austin Weird era that you're talking about. Yeah. And that was a rallying cry. I remember when I first went to Austin, the Keep Austin Weird thing was a thing. It wasn't a comedy town. It was a town being infiltrated by tech, this kind of performative left wing type moving in on the territory of the radical left wing. I go rage against the machine. I'm wearing the gloves with no fingers on it. And I'm going to go, you know, I'm going to go, you know, handcuff myself to City Hall. Like that was, that's the Austin that you're talking about. Dude, I met this pastor recently who was like James Tallarico's kind of mentor. And he's just this old Austin hippie. His church, probably like 30 old people go there. And he's been like arrested by ICE twice, arrested protesting same-sex marriage. I mean, that's the guy you're describing. And they're still a little Texas. Like they have a gun. Right. And it was fucking great. And now like the first joke I wrote, it's so dumb when I got here was Austin's like this combination. It was like right after COVID. It was like Austin's this combination of like right wing conspiracy theorists who don't believe that COVID is real. And then like wellness podcaster liberals who also don't believe that COVID is real. Like that was kind of like. You're living in the middle of the horseshoe. You're living right, you know, like the space between the two horseshoes is where you where you have your house. Totally. But, dude, I still really, you know, even though Austin did turn into not what I thought it was going to, you know, and I miss New York and I miss parts of L.A. when I get really excited is when I hear a celebrity story like Danny McBride living in North Carolina and filming all of Righteous Gemstones there with his family and his friends like that still sounds fucking great and it is doable now it's you know it's weirdly the dream it's it's the under it's it's the less advertised dream of every person who tries to be an artist or goes into any arts is that you get to live on this island that is its own nation unto itself like it's funny like you and I you know you're talking about Bill Hicks that's not my guy you know like I understand what people love about Bill Hicks but we you and I have the same dream have the same the same sensation go over our body when you hear the Danny McBrides I heard I had that same sensation when I heard that Jeff Foxworthy lives in a suburb of Atlanta on the same street as his brother just doing are you smarter than a fifth grader you know yeah to LA once a month and then going back to Atlanta and being Jeff Foxworthy in Atlanta I wrote this on my Instagram the other day I was like I used to always joke around with my family that I was like I'm going to go to Montana and sit on a porch and not worry about shit. And they were like, that's when John Mayer got cool. John Mayer moved to fucking Montana. And I feel like over COVID, he got on a fucking ranch. I think he stopped drinking and started smoking weed instead. And, uh, and then like a year later, he's playing with the fucking Grateful Dead and he's awesome. Right. So this is, that's kind of my dream of, that's why I went to Del Rey. I was like, Delray is this beach town that's near Boca that people have this like reference to an older aunt or grandma who lived here. And I'm like, well, there's something kind of going on here. And you know I and I think about you know it funny that you and I look at different people but have the same sensation You go all I want is to just go on the road and do my thing while also living this like kind of weird life that I can do and maybe not New York or L you know Yeah, I mean, you want to make art. And the times I miss New York aren't the industry stuff or even the spots. The times I miss New York is like seeing art, you know, like when I went to visit New York and getting to see like Kieran Culkin and Odenkirk in a fucking David Mamet play down the street from my hotel was wild. And then I get back to here and I'm like, and yeah, I miss that. But it's so funny you said the old people thing, because I thought about that this morning where the first time I didn't live in Brooklyn or L.A., me and my L.A. girlfriend at the time, right before COVID, moved. We just pointed to a place on a map and we randomly moved. We pointed to Tucson, Arizona And when I've never lived in Arizona I've only done shows in Phoenix Fucking hated it But we drove to Tucson Or we flew there or visited Phoenix is the west coast Fort Lauderdale Yes, very well said Just like trash on the highway It was horrible And not, I hate when people Complain about a city because they're like the homeless problem It's like that's not their fault These are people who should know better being horrible, just fucking littering drunk in the street. It's a big college town. But there was this town outside of Tucson, like north of Tucson, that it was just mountains and retirees. And me and this girl, we were convinced we were supposed to be together, but we're like, LA is ruining us. So we'll move. And it was us. It was not LA. And we moved there. And pretty soon after we moved there, we break up, my fucking cat dies, and then COVID happens. So my first time ever being single was lockdown. My dad's like, that's what it took. And I was like, shut up. But yes. and the um and so my like apartment complex I was by far the youngest person there and I guess I was like late 30s and I would walk around I would walk around it was called Oro Valley and I would walk around and these like 70 80 year old women would have these like little cute dogs and I would like I was so sad about my cat and I would like stop and pet the dogs or whatever. And they would be like, you should get a dog. And I was like, Oh, I just lost my cat. And they'd be like, Oh, I just lost Gerald. And they'd start talking about like their dead husband. And then I would just become friends with them. And I bonded with like all of the same thing, right? They're like, yeah, totally the same. Your cat, my husband of 40 years. A four. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And but like I became friends with just a bunch of old widows in Oro Valley. And I'll tell you, man, I thought about that this morning because it's like going to be like New York, L.A. or London. Or if I go the U route, I'm going to move home to Hawaii to Hawaii. And depending on how things go or maybe I stay here, I don't know, because I have a good community. here. Nothing kills momentum faster than miscommunication. That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo, the smarter way to run your business communications. Quo is the number one rated business phone system. The Quo app works on your phone or computer wherever you are. Get calls, texts, voicemails, transcripts, and contact details all in one place. Communicate faster, stay aligned and deliver results with Quo. Make this the time where no opportunity and no customer slips away. Try Quo for free, plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to quo.com slash JTrain. That's Q-U-O dot com slash JTrain. Quo. No missed calls, no missed customers. And you pronounced Hawaii in a way that I wouldn't know how, so I apologize. Now, is that really home? Yeah, well, so I'm Hawaiian, even though I look like the people who overthrew it. Okay. And, yeah, technically it's Hawaii, if you want to be. Hawaii, okay. Hawaii, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's, like, a glateral stop, and then W's are pronounced like these. Okay. In, like, the Hawaiian alphabet. And so I'm filming a movie out there, and that's always been the dream. You know, I've had like lifelong imposter syndrome about that. And I know I will end up there. But, you know, people fuck over Hawaii so badly and have been since like we colonized it that I don't really want to go there until I'm like. And all my Hawaiian friends are like, if you are Hawaiian, this is your home. And I know what a fucking they don't need another white passing starving artist. like I want to go there when I can like fucking do charity work and give back a hundred percent so I sorry to interrupt but so my first question I had written down is how's Austin so I'm assuming Austin you're done with it yeah yes well it's interesting because like without you know starting a comedy war or political shit it's like i don't fit in necessarily you know when i moved here and i think we were voice memoing about comedy and i may have said this but when i moved here was this really cool so i'm like very left-wing but it was this cool thing where like a lot of the like rogan people were seeing comedy um this was before joe came and then a lot of that old keep but Austin weird people were also seeing comedy. So what you ended up having was the greatest comedy audiences I've ever played in front of. You were having more of a conversation. It was audience being shown comedy by Rogan and interested in it, having to go to shows that were not necessarily people who were imitating people they've heard on Rogan. Is that kind of what you're saying? Yeah. Well, that and even politically, it's like I could do, you know, a left wing joke that had, quote unquote, very offensive language. And both sides of the aisle liked it because it was like, whoa, that was edgy. This dude's being like a comic, like Stan Hopi or whatever. And then it was like, so the people who didn't agree liked the delivery method. the people who did agree and and so you just ended up having this like really beautiful like oh man if you have people on both sides like this seeing comedy it would be great but then what happened is yeah every shitty comic started being like well i guess i just have to say the n-word and then i'll get on and you just go oh no no no no but then right you know to hold my old side accountable a lot of the left started like over correcting and they were like you can't say anything that could offend somebody and you lost this beautiful middle ground of like say whatever you want and don't be a mean asshole and and do and put work into what you're saying do it and have respect for the topic you know like i think that the respect for the topic thing is like the toughest part with people who are trying to be offensive it's like they have no respect for the topic and then they end up being lazy with it and that's why we see you know bad comedy from it but I I would even say you know you know the the people that moved to Austin after Rogan got there there's a element of like they're the gold rush like there's this you know like that's the you know it's the we're going to prospect we're going to find you know gold in them their hills you know like you know there's a story i went to boise idaho and i did shows in boise and there's a basque section of town and the basque section from spain espana is like this wonderful spanish section and you like and i said to them i go what is this like why is there a whole and they said during the gold rush the basque people were told go to boise and you can find gold and make your riches and then my god they got there and the people of boise were like they're like welcome to boise and the basque people were like where do we find the gold and the people of boise were like you're 50 years too late i just i can't stop picturing as you were talking just like a little outskirt of town that people no longer go to in 50 years of just like open micers wandering around using like trans slurs but this is what that is no but this is the same thing because the basque people got to idaho and there was no more gold and then they became goat herders so it's 50 years too late can you imagine getting to getting to boise 50 years they're like we haven't done and Because there's no internet. There's no communication from Boise, Idaho to the Basque region of Spain to let people know, hey, don't come here. So they had to find other work. And I think that's kind of a metaphor for what's going on with Austin. Like, if you're getting there today, you're late, dude. The gold is gone. You're seeing an imitation of something. Like, it's almost the least creative move in the book. Yeah. And I mean, the thing is, I mean, what's interesting too is like, I feel like the first comic that blew up from Kill Tony that I saw was Casey Rocket, who was great and nothing like any of those comedians. And then, um, uh, what's his name? Who's on SNL now? Cam Patterson. Yeah. Like he blew up. I saw him. He crushed. I, I, I saw him in New York. I had to follow him. the room was shaking and it's like yeah they just you know you know you get your opportunities when you're prepared for them you know like yeah well if you go on kill tony and you crush it it's not because you just like we're like oh a mic i guess yeah why not people want and i think people want to believe that i think that's why people are offended by comedy is they want to believe everyone believes they have it in them a little bit to be hilarious in front of a group of people It's this really bizarre thing. I mean, the two things that I've spent my life pursuing are MMA and comedy. And both of those things, every guy thinks they can fight. Every person thinks they hilarious Right And what funny is so many comedians like I not that funny offstage Like I a good writer Well everyone believes the ones that believe they hilarious I think everyone mistakes having a good personality for being funny. You know, like, you know, being being affable and fun. That's not necessarily someone who's a good joke writer or performer, you know, like that's not the same. and the minute you learn that is the minute you go on stage and bomb so yeah oh yeah and you know it's funny because conservatives talk so much about you know people are always looking for the easy route and you know they want to hand out and shit like that and it's like that's kind of what kill tony is like it's now you have a bunch of people like what was cool about casey is casey was this incredible weird hard-working comic like i didn't know if he liked me until he followed me on instagram because he wouldn't he wasn't trying to be the funny one backstage he was oh that's another thing here holy fuck dude you can't escape it it's like you can't escape the hate on stage because then you go backstage and everyone's still trying to like it's like everyone's performing all the time it's a more hateful version of la so and we are sponsored if you want to eat healthy and save time in the kitchen every plate is here to help out every plate delivers delicious meals to your door no stress no hidden costs just good food ready in 30 minutes choose from over 35 weekly menu options like crispy southwest chicken sandwiches or sweet sesame broccoli mushroom bowls i'm gonna tell you right now i've had every plate it's really good their whole thing is economical. 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Go to everyplate.com slash podcast. Use code J train 299 to claim your offer. That's code J train 299 at everyplate.com slash podcast to get $2.99 per meal on your first box plus 10% off for a month. Ditch the dinnertime dilemmas with every place so in Austin you're noticing that it's just on all the time and you can't get over it yeah I mean in certain spots for sure to the point where like I I stopped doing stand-up downtown for a while and I've started doing it again and like picking my spots and they've been great like I'm having great shows at the creek and I'm finding my people and uh and it's cool but yeah I mean I'm fucking 43 and like don't do cocaine and don't like it's it's fucking a lot dude it changes your whole surroundings it changes your friend group yeah and and and so for a while I just, you know, I mean, I'm a comic, so I always assume everything's my fault. And I'm like, I guess I'm just fucking lame. Are you dating at all? What's that? Are you dating at all? I was. Well, I just had a breakup, a very amicable, loving breakup. So we're still like friends. And I only brought her to one show. And every time I bring like a girl to the show, the girls are just like, I'm not comfortable here. And I'm like, yep, I know. um the room getting this what's that what what are they not comfortable with the the room is it the venue is it the people dude there there's a fucking i mean my friend uh amber she's this big like fitness influencer you know been around gym bros her whole life loves comedy huge comedy fan and she was just like i also she's an atheist i'm just gonna say this for the line that comes next she called me after going to like a very famous person's after party and she was just like there's a dark energy like this is what i'm saying it's literally all the bad things about la where people are talking about energy it's just the negative version of that and by the way there is a lot of great shit too i don't want to get into like doing what i did 20 years ago where i'm just shitting on things that are popular like comedy club lines around the corner original people still getting discovered when i say that like there's this club called vulcan that's been pretty dismal like rogan's audience kind of took all of them but this was like it was like a rock club there was a huge i performed there dude that club sold out probably some of the best shows in my life even just doing 15 minute spots and it's cool it is cool to see the thing that we have worked lives at get popular and you know it's it's a lot of the same shit that people on the right were complaining about where it's like the same claptor that they said you know comics like me or the daily show would go after you're getting claptor for just like hate slurs and i think you said it the best when you were like just put work into it i remember when i got new faces in Montreal. So for the people who aren't like comedy nerds, that used to be like, if you got new faces, you were like the thing you were going to be, there was a chance. Like, and me and Nate Bargatze got it the same year. And I was like the big liberal guy. And Nate was kind of like the conservative guy, like in the sense that not that he was like, you know, talking about Republican politicians, but he had like, you know, a pro Walmart joke. And if people were being very um what's the word i'm looking for they're painting with broad strokes they're gonna they're gonna try and brand you especially at an event like new faces it's a casting audition because when you do it what it's a lot of people in the audience that are industry that are going what do we do with this guy is basically what they're trying to figure out yeah exactly and i remember when i saw nate i assumed i was gonna hate him and i was like this is some of the funniest shit I've ever seen in my life. I wish I remembered what his pro Walmart joke was, but it was, I opened with an anti Walmart joke and it was so funny. And you just go like that to me, you know, just to kind of double down on what you were saying. It's like the more offensive a joke, the more risky the joke, it has to be a better joke. Right. If you're going to Drop this fucking word. If you're going to do a trans joke, which is so hacky, it better be one of the best fucking jokes in your set. Right. I'm talking right now. No, go ahead. I'm sorry. No, no, no. You go. That was it. I'm talking right now on stage. I had two sets that was like combined as one. I had the beginning, which is about my dad offering me his Ozempic. And then the end was about going to Europe alone. And I knew they were two different sets, but there was like 20 minutes of each or 30 minutes of each. And then the beginning started getting longer and the end started getting longer and I didn't have time to work on the whole thing. So I was like, I need to take the beginning and make it the whole thing so that I stretch during certain jokes and so that I find other places to go. I also had to talk about how I'd gone on a GLP one. So like, you know, the story wasn't complete by just saying I was offered it. Now I have to talk about why did I end up taking it and why it's different to why emotionally it hurts more to be offered it than it. It doesn't hurt at all to take it. All these things. I'm like, how do I get into those if I don't open up the set? I was just in Salt Lake City. And, you know, I'm doing I'm trying to like just work through it. And it's a little painful, as you know, work through anything that's new. And I'm trying and I'm trying to do it while on the road and during an hour set. And you have someone to the right of you ordering drinks and the girl on the left is talking to her friend. And it's like and you only have four chances to do it. And you're like, OK, again, all this is pressure. And I tried to explain that on Instagram stories. I did like a question box. And I was saying how the shows were great because I did get to work through that. But it's like a bad it's like a tough massage, you know, like you're like, yeah, OK. And then afterwards you go, oh, they really got out that knot. Because on the plane ride home, I wrote all these new notes that I was like, I'm excited to do them this week. You know, so. Yeah. I'm like, so in the end, it was a tough weekend, but it was good. And I had someone message me along the lines of like, oh, dude, it did. You know, it's I was at the show and everyone here is in shape, so they don't get it. And I'm like, that's not they don't get it. Like, that's that's not what it is. That's not. Yeah. The end up's job is never to go, well, people in Salt Lake are in shape, so they don't get it. Your job is to make everyone get it, no matter where they are, and make them feel like they're in on it, even though it doesn't maybe relate to their lives as much as the next person it does. So it's like, that's the work. That's the work. The work isn't shocking you with fuck GLP ones. You know, the work is, you know, I didn't want to take it because it was offered to me. and it feels like I'm giving up, you know, like all those things. And it's so it gets frustrating when that gets said back to you. Like, well, it's because, you know, people are in shape. It's like, no, you don't get it. That's not what it is. Right. And that's that's the excuse of someone who doesn't want to do the work. Yep. Yep. A hundred percent. And that's sort of that's also the comedy, the comedy fans who aren't comedy fans. They like they want you to show up to tell them their opinions in a funny way that they can't come up with. Right. Right, right, right. You know, and that's, it's the whole like when bachelor parties or bachelorette parties go to see. I remember, you know, back before comedy was as popular as it was now, when I was headlining during like the Iraq war, that be like a bachelorette party with like penis hats coming just because they assume comedy night means a roast And I fucking talking about like the military industrial complex And they just look so sad There'd always be like one girl who would be like, yeah. This is what I came for. And everyone else is like, what the fuck, Amanda? We don't want to hear about that, you know? I know. And the and that is the work. And I just want to say I'm so glad you're talking about that because, you know, well, one, my whole show that I'm working right now are about all the times that I try to kill myself. So, you know, comedy gold. And there's a great chance that not everyone has tried to kill themselves or know someone who has killed themselves. Or, you know, I mean, I talk about being friends with Robin and like, chances are no one who sees the show was friends with Robin Williams. And, and these are all really dicey, right? Because like with suicide, you don't want to seem victim-y. You want to still stay relatable. You don't want to seem unhinged. You want to grow from it, but you have to be vulnerable and talk about like the, I have to talk about all the mistakes I made in my life. Um, with Robin, you don't want to sound like you're name dropping. People love him. Um, so they don't want to think about the bad, you know, it really, there's so much to all of that. And, and I I'm working this part of it, part of the show has to do with my, um, sort of my weird relationship with masculinity and, um, and all of that. And this isn't going to be in the show, but I think I want to do this. I've started to fuck with it in Austin and I either want to write a play about this or maybe it'll just be the next show. But just like the GLP shit, I've always had like body dysmorphia or food issues. That's what guys call eating disorders. And guys don't talk about that shit. And it's really hard. And so everyone here in Austin was like, bro, you got low T. You got to get on like, you know, TRT or whatever. And I was like, that's what internet commenters have been telling me for like a decade. and so I had this whole story about getting on TRT not knowing that it's a fucking needle to the stomach then being too scared to inject it so I'm I get this thing that I get so excited is going to make me feel like a man and I'm pacing around crying not being able to inject myself so anyway all that to say that that is probably going to be 2027 show i think like a a guy talking about body issues or shame or is so fucking edgy and ballsy even if it doesn't seem like that that that's what we were talking about like it is going to take so much more work for the suicide stuff or for that to work and god damn it when it when it hits when it does when you find a way to make it relatable to everybody it's gonna blow the roof off and that's what's so hard is you know that's the fun of it that's you know and it gets taken for granted because it gets taken over by people who just want to you know go on stage and have their ego you know stroke a little bit but i i do want to play before we go because i want to play a game with you i got a game because you're our Okay. You're our expert in, I think you're our expert in the woke world. You're our resident expert. Okay. And I want everyone to follow Jamie. I'll say as the expert, a lot of people are going to be mad that it's a straight, cis, white passing guy. This is why you're the expert. You're already apologizing. You're perfect. Okay. So at the Jamie Kilstein, go follow. Jamie's incredibly hilarious. You're going to love all the work he's doing. And go see him in Austin. I'm going to be in Austin. If you're out there, go see Jamie at the Jamie Kilstein on social media. Okay, we're going to call this woke or broke. Are they helping the cause or are they being performative? I'm going to explain a person and you're going to tell me whether they're helping the cause or they're being performative. Also, again, please follow me on Instagram before this, because this is going to make all of you mad at one point. And I'm going to try my best. Perfect. I have some. OK, let's see how it goes. Ready? They go to a march because it's known to have tons of hotties and then spend the next week saying how they got 30,000 steps on Saturday so that they can tell people they went to said march. I feel like we're definitely mixing some demographics, but that that would be very that would be very performative. That is. So even just being there isn't good enough. They were part of it. But I guess talking about it. my, my very earnest advice in these politically divisive times are when it comes to taking political action, whatever you feel in your heart, you are good at whether that's communicating for me, it's jokes. Um, whether it is going to marches, I get fucking anxiety. I was part of occupy wall street back when it started, which was really cool. And as I got older, my anxiety got worse. And like, I didn't go to any of those marches. And there are a lot of really, really good progressive people who have given money, who have, you know, talked a family member into voting the right way, who have done all these things that probably have had a bunch of those performative assholes make them feel bad for like not going to a no Kings march. And it's like, yeah, go if you're. Go if you're I'm sorry. No, go if your heart is telling you to go and and you will be useful there. if you have the skill, if you're good at community organizing or you're a fucking medic. What if you're good at picking up hot chicks? If you're good at picking up hot chicks, go. And it brings you to a march, and now you've added to the group. I got the answer to that. Go to a MAGA march, pick up a hot chick, convince her that her ways are wrong. Okay. And prove to her that liberals can fuck. Yes, that is what I say. So here's another one. loves a restaurant that turns into a gay bar at night. They bring up how much they love the restaurant so that people say, you know, that's a gay bar. And they always respond by saying, to me, that's just a bar. Is that woke or broke? How long did it take you to write these? That was so funny. That's so funny. Is it woke or broke? I mean, look, it's suspect that they're only supporting it on their non-gay hours. They do like the food. They love the food, but they also know it gives them street cred. I was very much, I have probably done a version of that up until the last line got me a little broke. The last line, it's just a bar. It's a gay bar, and you enjoy going to the gay bar. And that's cool. So the I don't see color of it all is really the problem. That's what makes it broke. Okay. That is it. The rest was great. Okay. They constantly bring up how they love going down on their girlfriend and make sure to say, I love it so much, she doesn't even have to return the favor. Again, I was with it. I have a whole joke about how you got to date sad, needy guys because they will not stop going down on you because we're desperate for validation. Okay. And so I would brag about it on stage, which led to, without me trying, led to that happening in real life. I was very happy with it. And there was one time where a couple years ago where I was in Hawaii and I went on a date with a girl and she kept saying, you know, how much she liked that. And we just did that. and I felt like and then I had to go to the airport we didn't have sex we didn't do anything I just did that for like half hour and I definitely was at like the airport lounge being like am I a fucking men's rights activist now because I had to fly from Hawaii to Austin with just like my dick hurt so badly so yeah very good it's like you went into the office you just like went in there with your briefcase you opened it up You like went with a breath man and then just went to town. And then you're like, okay, all done here. It was so crazy. It was your flight. Did you even get dressed? No. No. So you were just in a suit and tie. I'm just imagining you in a suit and tie. You put on like, you know, lab goggles and then you went to town and then you were like, okay, now that you're all souped up. Yeah. I'll be on my way. like the depressed gold miners, the outside of Boise, Idaho. Yeah. Um, I will say we did meet up again, like six months later and she made good and she knew it. And she was just like, I think that, I think you're, you're now one of, you know, you're now considered a bro. She made good. Austin got me. Um, but yeah, you should, uh, you should, you should always do that. Uh, gentlemen listening to the show. Um, it, it's hilarious. that like, I'm trying to think of like my woke disclaimers to make up for that. Don't make up for it, you're good. More female pleasure. Okay, I got two more. Are you ready? Yes. They have the coexist bumper sticker that has all the religious symbols used as letters. Is it woke or broke? I'm going to say woke only because I didn't even really know that me, the only people I see that that had that sticker are usually like 80 year old librarians. And I feel like they probably marched for like civil rights and got it. I don't think that's like a new person. That's right. You don't get, you know, that's not good. That's a, that's from another time. That's from a much harder time to be a coexist person. Okay. Last. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's usually followed. It has like a, like a be nice bumper sticker. Like that's the vibe I get. No, I'm, I'm with you. Okay. Anytime they have food from other cultures, they make sure to say that white people don't use spices. Fuck that. That's broke. That's broke. That's broke. Broken system. All right. Jamie Kilstein, thank you for coming on the show. Everyone go follow at the Jamie Kilstein. Hilarious comic. You're going to love Jamie. And I'm Jared Freed. We're here every Wednesday doing a chit chat Wednesday. Back next week. Boom.