Fortune Feimster & Zach Noe Towers: Intervention & Hands

At TUI, we give you more. More outfit choices, with 20kg of luggage allowance as standard. More hotels, built around what you love, like that swim-up suite. More, race you to the bottom, water parks on site. More, ooh, that looks good. Food options, from poolside snacks to ala cart dining. Book on app, in-store or online. You book it, TUI sort it. Pool and app to protect it. Keys and C's apply. Selected hotels only. See website for details. When you're Jeff Lewis, the drama never stops. Stop fucking apologizing. You're not making it any better. You're just reminding me how late we are. I know I'm specific. I know I'm a little high maintenance, which is why I tip really fucking well. I don't want to start shit, but... Really? Really? Okay. Really? Jeff Lewis has issues. Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis has issues. In today's episode, Fortune Feemster and Zach Noe Towers joined the show. We hold an intervention for Zach about his stand-up material, plus Fortune tells us why hands are so important to lesbians. Should we call you an actress now? Cause you're pretty much acting more these days. I haven't been acting for a long time. I know, but I felt like you were more of a comedian than an actress, and now I feel like you're more of an actress than a comedian. I know. I think you feel that way because I have two big projects back-to-back. Tell them about it. Zach, do we call you comedian or prostitute? He's had two big projects back. Buttobbud. So, all the way out, I go, Susan, I go, bye. It was great to see you. And she goes, I'm doing only fans with you. I go, no, no, no, no, no. It's not only fans. Susan, don't tell anyone we're doing only fans. That I want to see you got a price. We just don't know what it is yet. I actually... Y'all both just yell at people. I love Zach Noe Towers, but I'm very protective of him and his career and some of his life decisions. Oh, is he making questionable choices? I'm finding out about it in real time. I, um, cause I saw another post where you were standing with your pants down and showing your ass. And I honestly think if you're gonna do that, you should do only fans. No. And make some money. No. If you're gonna show your ass on Instagram. He's a tease. I'm a tease. He's a tease. I just feel like we gotta find a, we gotta find a, is this, if this is the route you're going, We gotta figure out how to monetize it. I'm seeing that he doesn't approve of the route you're going. I do not. You say, if this is the route you're going and look disgusted. It was the 20th picture on a carousel. So you had to flip through all 20 photos to get to it. It's the only one they post. They post, right? Is the one of your ass. That's not true. So here's what I'm going to say. And I'm saying this with love. I think you're very funny, very talented, very quick on your feet. I actually don't even see you. I see you as doing comedy here and there for fun, but I see you. I'm gonna, but let me, let me finish. You see me as a sexual being. I see you. I don't even see you as sexual being. Yeah, no, but I see you as like a host, whether it's on TV, whether it's radio. And there's not my apartment. And I, right. And I feel like I, it's just a path that I really feel. I just feel is good for you. And I think you would excel, excel. I mean, cause I saw you on like, what was that dating show he did? No filter. He did rivalry. That James, it was on. I just, I'm a little worried because I want you to, we've said this, I said this a thousand times, I want you to be more mainstream. Yeah. I really think you have incredible potential, but you, you know, the sex, the sexual part of it all. People hate sex. Is a lot. The mainstream is like, boo. Sex is not sex. Especially gay. I've given him many a speech about cleaner material. But it's not even cleaner material. It's, it's his representation on Instagram. But you don't want him to not be who he is. And grinder. I do. Grinder is killing. I do feel like my parents are at a parent teacher conference right now. How do we get him back on track? Yes. It's so true. And I'm just setting the way where I don't want him to not be who he is though. So it's a fine line. It's a butt cheek. That's what it is. Like this is part of his personality. But I say have that, but also like have your 30 minutes of clean material, like be accessible to people as well. Oh, I absolutely agree with you, fortune. And again, if you had no talent. Ass accessible. He's butt cheek. Let's just say that's all you had was your face and your ass. Right. What a life. Then you go down that road. Yes. But you have more to offer. I do. Just your cute little twink face. That's true. And your twink ass. Twink face. You have a twink face. You're flirting. No, I'm not. Yes, you are. I'm just telling you I'm not. The camera saw it, Jess. Not flirting. Doesn't look like flirting. Jess. Not flirting. Helping and helping. There needs to be a smash cut to me later in your home. Talk to your mom. Getting spray tan naked. Are you coming? Yes. I am. My mom likes it when he's cleaner too. What? But she loves you. But she doesn't want to hear about jizz. As far as I know. I can't relate. No, it is tough because I do think sex is very funny. That's what I'm drawn to talking about. But obviously you two are more successful than me. So you have a lot to offer in the way of guidance. I just think it is going to open you. Oh, God, my gosh. That's terrible choice. You don't have to write into this. Yes, I sure did. You're going to open me up. I'm going to be gay. I think you'll have more opportunities if you were a little more mainstream. Yeah. Right? And appeal to more. Yeah. But I think he can exist in a space where he is his little flirty. He's got to be way toned down. But he has to have the 30 minutes of clean material. You also told Nikki Glaser this same piece of advice. She is killing it right now. I'm doing a movie with her. No, I just, no, I asked her questions. I asked her questions. I don't know if I gave her career advice, but what? I just felt, but look, But Nikki blew up. She's amazing and a hard worker, but the roast. That was a stepping stone to other things. For sure. And now she's, yeah, she's doing all these other things. I just worry that I'll, what if I fail at being the watered down version of myself? I know you think that. I disagree. Try it. I start weeping. Try it. But you can't, but promise you. But if he does the watered down. No, I mean, I'm not. No, no, no, no, like, she's not good. You're at the bottom, babe. You got nothing to lose. Where are you going to go? No, like, what is it hurt? You to have clean stuff. No, no, you're right. You know, you are, you are so. What does it hurt? You are absolutely right. Well, then also you could. But also, I didn't mean to be a part of a, some kind of. Intervention. Intervention. I'm as shocked by this as you. No, I want to say I love you both deeply. I know you hate when people express gratitude, but you two have given me incredible advice. Everything. But you know, you two both have both employed me too for years. Like, and you've taken a chance on me as I am. And I did introduce him to you. I heard y'all trying to figure out the origin. I texted you about it. So you're taking the credit for all of it now. I sure am. Wow. Okay. I love you guys fighting over me. You're like, we'll look him up. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, you're right. I don't think he would be here if it weren't for your endorsement. This is true. That's why I'm part of this intervention. What if, if he did have cleaner material, he could open for other comedians as well, not just you. Yeah. Right? Because you use other openers. He should be able to open for other. She has me in spite of my content. Am I wrong? Am I wrong? I thought that, did you clean it up for her when you opened for her? Did you clean it up? Because I didn't. No, he's trying. I tried. Because I didn't find it that offensive. No, thank you. Well, because he's been working on it. Yeah. But it's not just the comedy set. It's his representation on Instagram because if I, You don't like all the butt stuff. If I'm a producer or I'm a casting director and I'm looking for a mainstream co-host. Yeah. They cannot have a butt. You just, you, you get worried about that kind of content. Mario Lopez has no butt. I've, I've now, I've now invested in him and three other hosts and then, you know, and then he goes down the road. He goes and then, you know, it's a bad representation of the show. Well, no, I'm a bad representation of the show. Of this show? I don't know. I don't know. You're, you're all criminals on this show. But we're quiet about it. It's different. You never know on Instagram that we're criminals. I don't know. I would be curious to hear if other people that know Zach from here, what they think when they see his butt. But even. So you now hire somebody, right? And let's, let's just say. Thank you, Annie. I mean, this is aiming real high. But let's just say he's a host on, I don't know, cause a good morning America or something. There we go. Right. Let's just say. I love it. They think really can't show his butt. You can't go on a gay cruise or do a live, you were doing some live stream where you just kiss some random dude. I did. You can't do that. I don't know. Well, his socials are part work, part trying to hook up. Yeah. That's clear. Well. I just made out with someone, a stranger. What do we talk about? I had waiting stuff off camera. Wow. We really, we're really digging in here. I know. I'm sweating. Are you okay? I'm probably bright red. Am I bright red? No, you're okay. No, but the blue light cancels you out. Okay. Great. Listen, I don't know. Rome wasn't built in a day. What are we going to, what are we going to do? Just change that completely? He still has to be who he is. Ideally, you'd like to never see my butt again is what I'm hearing. Unless it's behind closed doors. Correct. He does make a lot of money off his stickers on the road with me. And that's my butt. It's different though. It's a little bit quieter that way. Oh. Oh, so you don't mind that? Okay. Look at that. Okay. We found a loophole. It's just someone, the first thing, look, the first thing we do is if a guest is, is pitched to us, we look at their Instagram. Yeah. We do. That's the first thing we look at. And if you saw the crack of their butt cheeks, you'd be like, get this whore out of my site. I would just ask, like, what is, I don't understand what business is he in? Is he, is he on OnlyFans? Is he a porn star? Like what business is he in? I'm confused. It was cheeky. He's an actor or he's a comedian, but he's got his bare ass post on Instagram. Look, I don't want to beat a dead horse here, but I mean, we can move on, but that's just my opinion. Okay. Now I do have a question about dating because. You shouldn't be doing it. Yesterday, we're talking about dating from your wounds or dating from your worth. Okay. Right? Yeah. You guys dug deep. I feel like you should have only for a few minutes. It was exhausting. Who said that? Yeah. Where did this come from? Oh, it came from heel to feel. Leot's deep. Oh yeah. But who brought it here? Mercedes. Wait, so dating from your wounds or your what? I brought it up because I heard it on heel to feel worth dating from your wounds or what? From their wounds. People do until, but I honestly feel, because I guess I relate to this in the past, I have dated from my wounds for sure. But I think now I have certain expectations and standards and boundaries and I feel like now I very much date from my worth. Yes. Yeah. Right? I would say that. Agreed. Yeah. Now, presently, not always. Right. My question to you is, do you date from your wounds or your worth? Definitely worth. Good. Yeah. I don't have many wounds. Crickets. Yeah. Where's the cricket sound effect? If anything, I'll never forget, I had a therapist once and we were talking about how I haven't had any significant relationships and he was like, maybe you don't know your self worth. And I go, oh, I actually think I like value myself greatly. And he's like, right, you don't know your self worth as if I was overvaluing myself. Oh, wow. And I fired that. Oh, because you were better than him. I was better than him. Inflated teleport. Crickets again. Well, that would have been a good callback. Some may say that you're very sexually active. Oh, we're back on it. No, some may say. Stop. And take it out of your act. Some may say you're promiscuous and I'm just curious, have you ever taken a look at that? Oh, no. No, of course I have. Okay. I just like, this is the thing. I love myself so deeply and I enjoy myself so thoroughly, moment to moment, hour by hour, every day I do not find myself seeking to add someone. Like often when I start to add someone, they start to gunk up my joy. Oh, yeah, they start. And I'm like, they start chipping away until I just stop posting your ads. Yeah. You're too happy to fall in love. I just, yeah, kind of. I've yet to meet that person who like brings me to the next level. Is additive. Yeah. Well, it takes a minute. Yeah. Right. So you have to kind of make a short, at least a short term commitment to someone. There was a guy that I was trying to invest time in and he pulled the plug on us. So maybe you pulled the plug on us. Yeah. We were on life support. That sounds like a hallmark movie. Yeah. And then you pulled the plug on us. Do you know why? Did it give you any sort of explanation? Do you want to marry me? Is that what this is about? I just, no, this is a case study. Oh my gosh, he's trying to mold me. He's trying to get my stuff online. No, I'm not trying to mold you. I really am not. For your future bride. He's not going to date her, Miss Bride. Green. Yeah. Child bride, yeah. What was the question? Why did you guys break up? March. Oh, he said he was getting too busy with, we started hanging out over Christmas break. So we both had a lot of time. Yeah. And then when it got back, he was like busy and stressed and he was like, I'm sorry, I'm going hot and cold on you. You are so great. You are so kind. You are so intentional. I can't meet you there right now. Okay. But which is very, it's not you, it's me. And at the end of the day, maybe I just grossed him out or maybe he got the Ick or something. You know what I mean? But I do think I am, I think I am like, catch. I do too. Yeah. Um, I feel. Fuck off. He has been that way lately. He's been that way. Yeah. I need to clean up your outfit. I think he's about to just quit. Yeah. He kind of doesn't give a shit. No, but he's a corporate company. The way he treats us. This energizes him. Yeah. This does my demonic. Did you hear, did you hear the audio of him losing his shit yesterday? No, I didn't listen to this. Can we just play it? Can we just play it? You should have told me whenever walking out of the studio like you did Monday for Tuesday. Noted. You set me up. And your name was on the TV in there. So you really set us up. Wow. I can't do everything. I can't be responsible for all of you. I'm trying my best. Ginger snap. I am giving you my best. Crazy. It was so silent. And then the ox of it went to. I love it every time. Wow. I do. I would have listened. I want to know that on my phone. It's in our group message. That should be your ringer. It was the lull too. There was like five seconds. Yes. You pushed him to the edge. I know the other thing. It's like snap. The other thing I wanted to mention. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. The other thing I wanted to mention. I'm going to move on from you Zach. Do it. I dare you. I'm going to turn over to Jameson. Okay. I thought about this last night. We brought up. There was a collar that brought up Frank. It was real quick. And it was over the whole nine inch comment. And they said that you were just covering for Frank. And he's the one that said he had nine inches. It was a quick call. You're confused. Nine inches of what? Dick. Wow. Wow. I'm clutching myself. I'm clutching my pearls today. Ryan's baby shower. Got it. Oh yeah, I did hear about that. Yeah, so it came up yesterday, the caller came in and she had a different theory on the whole thing that maybe Frank had said that he is nine inches and that Jameson was covering for Frank, whatever. It was just a theory. Then you said, now I have to go home and I have to have a conversation with Frank. Absolutely. I feel like it's borrowing trouble. Why bring it up? Unless he finds out about it, there's no reason to talk about it. It's better to come from him than a bunch of strangers on the internet. He's not gonna hear it. He doesn't listen to the show. That is dating from your wounds, honey. No way. Oh, honey. That is dating from your wounds, honey. That is not because then what happens is someone sends him a very kind, sweet message. Maybe, maybe not. They mean well. They probably will message him. Then he comes to me and he says, what's this about? It's easier. There's nothing to be ashamed about. So I give him the information. We're good communicators. Because we're dating from our worth. Wow. Wow. And your nine inch cocks. I don't know what's happening today. Yes, I'm sorry. It's okay. I'm really sorry. Do you wanna talk about your movies? Sure, I can talk about whatever, yeah. Well, Zootopia. Oh my God. Oh my God. $1.8 billion. Is that it? Whoa. Who's that is? It's still in the theaters right now. That's crazy. It's like the biggest movie in Hollywood, in China, that's from Hollywood. And you were saying to me earlier that it's because of your participation in the movie. Maybe in a beaver. Right. Now do you think there will be, I would imagine there would be a part three? Well, there will be. A sequel to the sequel. At the end of the movie, it teases that. We please tell me you'll be involved. I hope so. I don't know yet. I mean, you know, these take like seven years to make. Wow. Why taking so long? Five to seven. Animation does take a long time. It takes forever. Draw faster. There was 700 people that worked on Zootopia too. Yeah. It was a big movie. Oscar has some Funko Pop said he would love you to sign. I would love to sign this. We're trying to get him out of debt. And do you know that we can buy some, right now? There, a Funko Pop signed by Fortune Feamster goes for $240. No. Seriously. So he paid 15. If you sign it, he can sell it, you know, make almost $500. I would love to do that for Oscar. Wow. And that pays off 15% of his debt. Absolutely. I'll sign as many as he wants. Yeah. Thank you. That's very sweet of you. And then, oh, you don't have a Funko Pop. You can sign as ButzDexter. You're not mainstream enough. Wow. But I can sell a whole pick for like $1,000. So where are we at now? I'm filming a movie right now in LA and we keep getting paparazzi because it's with Kim Kardashian. So I keep getting photographed behind dumpsters and all these random places. That movie is called Fifth Wheel? That's the working title. It'll probably change. And then how long have you been filming that? We are a month in, I think. Wow. About four weeks. We're gonna have four weeks. It's with Nikki Glaser, Kim Kardashian and Brenda Song and myself. And then did you finish, did you wrap the Will Ferrell movie? Yeah. That one's a TV show. That'll be out sometime later this year on Netflix. And then I'm excited about both, but I think you're gonna love the Will Ferrell one. Now also you, so crushing it is that is your special that streams, it's streaming on Netflix, which I've seen. Now there's Taking Care of Biscuits comedy tour. Have I seen that? You have not seen that. I'll be doing a show in LA probably like in the fall. Okay. I'll let you know. Okay. And then I have the dates. You're not gonna cancel on people, are you? I know. I am so sorry I had to do that. But yeah, I'm in New York this Saturday at the Beacon. If anybody needs a Valentine's little thing to do. San Diego, Oklahoma City, where else am I? Oh, I know. I have to apologize to San Antonio, Texas and Portland, Maine. I did cancel them a couple of times, but I am getting to those shows. A couple of times? There's someone on the line that says, she can't wait to see you in San Antonio, Texas. Cynthia, I'm coming. Did you just cancel? No, I had to reschedule. It's because of these projects were back to back. I only had two weeks in between the projects. Also I'm with her for San Antonio, I believe. And then two other cities. And then you're, we just out of Dallas. You're probably doing that. I think I'm Dallas, yeah. Little Rock, Arkansas, Des Moines, Toronto, a bunch of places, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Rochester, Minnesota, Detroit, I'm everywhere. Zachy, I hope you know that all of my advice is coming out of love. I'm very invested in your career. I feel that 100%. And your talent. Thank you. And your butt. Wait, did you say that I'd make a better host than comedian? Is that what the vibe was? No, that's not what I said. I just have this gut instinct intuition because I have seen you as a host. I mean, you're really good. And I was on your podcast and the whole thing. And I really feel like that is not your only career. Yeah, totally. It is one of your careers. Totally. I appreciate that. Yeah, he has great energy. You host a game show. Oh, that'd be fun. Yes, he's like fun and light and people like you. You're likable. Yeah. So you want my butt. You want you to be hosting my white people show weeks. That's where you need to. Like my furry hole. Are we seeing, okay. Are we seeing Scream 7? Yes, let's go. When does it come out? It comes out the 27th, but we could see it the 26th because it always comes out like Thursday before. OK, but do we have to go to City Walk? Is that where you want to go? No, we go to Grove. We go to Grove. I love to. Oh, City Walk is in, it's all recliner. I just went there. It was actually. It is great. And the parking was easy. We go to Grove. We go to Grove. Where do I park in the Jurassic Park lot? I know. I don't like tea. That part is a noise for sure. I don't go to the Grove. Grove is so easy. Just pull in the valet. The guy knows me. He leaves my car up front. It's like seven steps to the theater. We go to the Cheesecake Factory. I love Cheesecake Factory. I signed up for their membership club so I could get a free piece of cheesecake. That's worth it. It's like $12. It's worth the 30 emails a day. That $10. Can we order a bunch of things for the table though so we can try different things? Of course you just did that. You went like this. You did that. You did it. Play back the tape. Jesus. OK, so the 26th, what day is that? Are we in town? That's the Thursday. We're gone. No, we're actually. Oh, this month? Are you? We're not going. Where are you going? Hold on. Annie. I thought you were talking about March. Sorry. Why are we talking about March? Yeah, what month is it right now? Whatever. Turn my mic off. Turn my mic off. Oh my God. America's going to fall in love with Annie. For sure. I think so. Yeah. Oh, for what? It's just. But it's just taken a while for people to come on. I hate me. Oh no. Today's obviously a big teasing day. I love it. What is it not? Just today. What is it not a big teasing day? Today. Shut. It's not today, Zach. He never does this. Don't gas like that. Zach? All right, February. That's a Thursday. February 26. We have to buy tickets though. Do we do it now? I'll get them. If you can commit to Thursday night. Do I have been read that night? It doesn't matter. I'm only going to be two hours. Just bring her. Bring her. OK. Scream? I'm kidding. We can buy the tickets. If my lips are moving, I'm tethering a joke. Let us buy the tickets because then we can invite chumps. OK. I don't want you paying for it. Should we buy a whole theater? Oh my God, hilarious. How much does that cost? I thought someone told us you can do it for like 400 bucks. But no, on the 26th. No, I would have to put the knife before. Like in the theater, I thought. I thought you have to put your own movie. You don't need to invite that many people. Should we just watch something else? We just need a couple of rows for chumps. Yeah, could be rows. We might have a little rows. Well, if you want a couple rows, you've got to jump on it now because it'll be filling up. OK. Do you have a particular area of the theater that you'd like to sit? I'm middle. Middle, middle. He's a side. I have a question. So like front row or second row of the second section? Yes, that is ideal. OK, fine. What are we wearing to the theater? Are we dressing? Athletes, your cute sweatsets are you dressing like nice? Fortune. Where am I? No, I know why I haven't been here in a minute. Fortune looks at you and she goes, wow. You guys, what are we wearing? What are we going to be wearing to the girl? What's our color scheme? Are we doing like a sweatpants? Or are we like dressing up? When we watched a movie at Zach's house, she told me we were doing out leisure. I was in the, so I wore sweats, which I never do. And then you showed up in a nice outfit. So I'm glad we're going to have this conversation. I don't think we should do sweats because we're going to Cheesecake Factory before. You cannot wear sweats to a Cheesecake Factory. Oh my god, you sure can. Well, we can do like a chic athlete. Yeah, you can as a girl, but I don't think we should. No. Everyone has their Lulu limit. Have fun. We do alo now. Do you want to go or are you working? I'm probably working. OK. Well, we're going to have a bunch of extra scenes. That's a great answer. I mean, I'll look, but chances are I'm filming. We'll look right now. Look at your phone. With LV, I can get my car insurance from just £299. Just the price I'm after right now. And if I'm hit by an uninsured driver, I won't lose my no-claim discount because insurance is simple when it's me and LV. No wonder we're rated excellent on Trust Pilot. Get your quote today at LV.com. 10% of your customers paid £299 or less July to December 2025. Uninsured driver promise is non-fault accident only. Other vehicle and driver details required. LV General Insurance is part of Allianz. I forgot what I was going to ask you. Shit. Oh, no, I was going to ask you. Scream 7 is sold out on the 26th. Yes, I heard. The shows are not listed yet for the 27th, right? Nobody's acquiescing. That'll even be worse. It's not listed yet? I'm sure. It has to be. Well, that is like an event. Like Scream has such a big fan base. So what do we do? We just keep checking when the tickets go on sale? Are they really not? Wow. OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you can set an alert on the app. Anywhere or just at the grow? Probably AMC. If AMC doesn't have them listed yet. But is there other places that we should check aside from the grow? Do you want to go to Century City? Or is that just as crazy? What about City Walk? You love it. That's far from you. Why would you say? No, I'll go there. I'll go there. I'll be the bigger person. I'll go there. And I like some of the restaurants there. Oh, and they have, oh. Margarita Vell. Bubba Gumps. Ooh. What? Which one should we go to? Oh, they don't have Cheesecake Factory. They don't. Where would we go? They have Raising Canes, though. Oh. You got to go somewhere with apps. Yeah, that's like a luxury restaurant. Actually, City Walk doesn't have great restaurants. They have a lot of fast food. They have Taco Bell. We need to go to the Grove. Pizza Hut. Or Scent. Taco Bell's delicious. I like Taco Bell. But Century City mall is nice, too. Century City is great. Century City. Let's do Century City then. I'm fine with that. But we're going to get an alert. Well, I don't have the app. I'll have to get the app. Well, I'll keep my eyes peeled for that. Are you doing it for tickets? All right, but just let us know why the ticket's right away. Okay, okay, I will. What do you think? I should get like a dozen? Yeah. Yeah, just do it. Daddy. A dozen. How many people are you bringing? Oh, that's a great question. Kevin Sullivan. Yeah, Kevin's a good movie watcher. He shares his. Kevin. Oh, Evan. Evan loves scary movies. Evan, Kevin. The next name has to rhyme. Devon. I'll find, I'll make Devon. Find it Devon. Yeah. Okay. We can figure it out. So you want me to get three for you? Yeah, but also I'm happy to see this with the chump crew. I don't need to bring people. I can be in the chump family. I feel like Kevin is a chump. He's got a kind of. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course, of course, of course. Maybe not Evan. Maybe not Evan, but we got to bring Kevin. You're right. No Evan, but we'll bring Kevin. Yeah, so true. Okay. Because Evan hasn't been on the show. Yeah, he has. He actually gave him the metaglasses, remember? One. He won a game and they got those metaglasses. Oh, he did? There are. How come you can see it and I can't see everyone else? February 27th. It's a snow boo boo. Your chain is slipping up. Oh, what did you just find? What am I supposed to do? I'm on the AMC website. Well, you're using it wrong. Wait, so what do we, where do we go? AMC app. Where are you going? Chat, GBD. Are you in the app? I don't have the app. Are you in the app? God damn it, Shane. You should have that anyway. I don't go to the movies. I hate it. But you buy tickets for me every other week. Do you not have AMCA list? I'm not a brand rep. It is $25 a month. You actually should do that. It's four movies a week for free. So if you go once, it pays for itself. You do go once a month. What is wrong with you today? Get him on AMCA list and I'll add him to my entourage and then I can book for you. Hey, gays, can you stop fighting? Jesus. You're in A2. No, we're not. Zach has good advice. God, I'm really worked up. I don't understand. We're joining the AMC A-list. We're joining. And then we join Zach's entourage. Yes. And then we can book for each other. I go, I'm going to bring Jeff to this. I'm going to bring Shane to this. And I book all of our seats in the app. Bring me. And it's free. Holy shit. It is, this is stressing me out more than my career advice. There's a lot of twigs snapping here today. Crickets. Crickets. Crickets. Crickets. Crickets. I'm perfectly intact. I'm perfectly intact. I'm getting more information. I don't get the twig snapping thing. Oh, that's a reference to the first hour. Oh. If you were on the first hour. Oh, yeah, we were all paying attention. We were, I was eating a cinnamon bun or something. Fortune, you were very dismissive of Annie before we went to the break. That was not dismissive. But she did have a question and we did not answer her. You had a question? Yeah, what the fuck are we wearing to the movies? Oh. I was just doing Annie's voice. I know, but we didn't know what to answer your question. Well, no, now if we're going to Century City, you gotta level up. It's a classic out there. Oh, yeah. Oh my God. We could get the Tabletas and Javier's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you can't wear sweats to the... No, not to Javier's. But there is a thing, I'm gonna have to look it up because I've talked to them before where if you have over a certain amount of people, you have to do like a whole like contract with them and there's like a food and beverage like that you have to hit. A contract with Javier's or the movies. If you have too many people. So we have to be under that limit. Yeah. So you need to think about this. I'm gonna call Javier. What's the limit? I forgot. But we were over it last time we did this one. We saw... Gotta get the Tableta. Scream 6. I never go with enough people to get the Tableta. I've never been to Javier's. The Tableta. What? Oh my God. What is wrong with you? Cancel your show that night. I know. If for some reason I get off filming early, I'll join in at Javier's. I'll just leave you an extra ticket. I'll leave an extra ticket. How much are they? 20 bucks or something? But I am probably filming. I will check my actual schedule and let you know. So you're lying? No. I have on my calendar if I'm off by a certain time. But it's currently not on my calendar. But I need to double check. So there's nothing on your calendar but you're telling us that you have something on your calendar? No. I am filming that day. She's coming for fortune. Yikes. That's not gonna go well for you. I love her but I just want her to kill you. No the fans will come. They'll come for her. No. I'm filming for the next five weeks. Monday through Friday almost all day into the night. You don't have to justify anything to Annie. I know you're a good explainer. And by the way the Swift piece, that's nothing compared to Fortune's fans. I'm not coming for her. I'm just trying to understand why she's not coming to our party. Oh you took a swipe. Yeah you did. You did. Annie is not going. What's your Instagram? Because people are gonna want to comment. At AnnieSharp underscore, comment. I know right? Get it. Annie was deserved that because I did do her voice so it was a take for that. It is a pretty good impression though. I'm pretty good at this. Now where were you when you woke up in a hotel room and your hotel room was flooded? Oh that was in Salt Lake City. Tell me everything. Oh it wasn't that big of a deal. Where was I staying? La Meridian. I woke up and it was a two room room. So I was in the whole. A suite? That would be what it's called. Nice try. Oh and there's happened to be just two rooms and two bathrooms in the kitchen. I went into the other room to get water and I felt water on my feet. I was like that's weird. But I didn't think anything about it. I went back to bed and then I went back in there and there was water all over the floor in there and I called them like hey I think my room's leaking but I couldn't see where it was coming from. And like for three hours past and no one came and I was like I don't know if this room is flooding or not. And then finally someone came and it turned out the upstairs room was flooding into my room. So your carpet was all wet? It was hardwood thankfully. Now did you have anything on the floor that got damaged? No and they came with a shop vacuumed it up. And then in the shower the water was coming through there was a big bubble. Did you change rooms? They didn't have another suite. So you'd rather have a flooded suite than a regular room. I understand that. No. That could be so claustrophobic those regular rooms. Is it toilet water though? Yeah probably. Probably yes but I had a bathtub. You know when some you lose some. And I didn't get any I didn't complain or anything. I mean I was like hey can you zoom in somebody up there but I didn't get like a discount or anything. That's crazy. That is crazy. Yeah. So you'd rather sleep underwater than be in a regular sized room. Wait what do you even do with the other room? I need a dug to send a tier two letter. Oh how is dug surgery did he recover? Oh he told us that he's alive and that he lived through it. Oh good what surgery? So that's step one. What did he have? Kidney stone but they had to do how did they do it? They did like a laser on that. Because it was too big to pass. Oh my god. So they had to break it up. So we had to go under. That's a big in. And then who's picking him up? Oh Sal? No. I believe it's called uber. Uber. He's trying to wreck. You can't uber. You can't leave in an uber. Oh really? You can't arrive in one but you can't leave in one. Okay. Did he text you that he's okay? Yes he did. Did you see his picture? I did not get it. We got a picture of him in his gown and his cap. I said welcome back to consciousness. Oh Dougie he's sweet. Does he get to keep the kidney stone? Look how cute he looks. I mean they busted into a million pieces and he's going to like get on pieces. If it's successful then it'll break it up small like sand and he'll just pee it out and not even know. Wow. Did you see that 28 days later? Bone temple? Yeah. I think it loved it. Was it better than the other 28 days later? I didn't like the last one. 28 years later sorry. I thought it was better. Even with the big dong. I didn't like the last one either. Well let you know there's big dong in this one too. Really? Okay good. Maybe I'll watch it this weekend then. Yes. We dive deeper into that guy's bone temple. The Ralph Fiennes. Yeah the old like man with the bone temple we dive deeper into his character. That bone temple in the last movie was absurd. I was like this. Oh it's a lot of bone temple. No but like whoever built it. Oh I know. That's a terrible job. Oh okay. It looked like it would like you like it was going to fall any second though. Oh it would fall over. It was not structurally sound. It was structurally I had a lot of notes. So the 28. The lesbian in you was like that wouldn't hold. She would never. So you strongly suggest the 28 years later bone temple. Bone temple. Yeah you're right the other one was just. Yeah it looks too good. It was really good and it had a lot of humor in it. Like there were a lot of funny moments. Was it too sexual? Our little twink over here. Shanie has not seen weapons. What? It's streaming. What are you doing? It's streaming. I know I keep saying broken eye will watch it. And apparently there's going to be a Gladys film. Gladys is the red hair. Oh yeah. They cannot make it that fast. I know. Zach Kregger he did barbarian. I hope it doesn't take as long as Zootopia 3. What if it was animated though. 100 or 700 people working. Gladys cartoon witch. Highest gross in the movie. Yeah. Because of you. Of all animation of all time. Is that wow. It's the highest gross in the animated film. That's wild. Fuck off Frozen. Yes. That's right. It beat Frozen. Let it go bitch. Hey do you want to shop for furniture with me? Because I feel like I don't want to just pick stuff and have it delivered. Yeah I think we. And then you hate it and then I take it back. I'm chatting and we picked a day. Okay. Can I go? Can I come? You want? I don't. You said no. No I'm just trying to figure out like the value added. Is there. Is there any value added. He is good at comfort you know we got to go for comfort. So Zach's good at sitting on things. Yeah he is. Never mind I don't want to go anymore. I thought it would just be a cute family with mom and dad but I guess not. I want you there. Thanks Shane. I did too. Maybe another time. Maybe when you're ready for furniture. I really want my house look cute. Yeah I love your house. Oh thank you. And I wanted to have some personality too. Like a little pops of color here and there. What color? Well we're doing what earth tones. And then like some pops I don't know. What should we wear shopping? Yeah what should we wear shopping? And he figured out for us. How's the gun club going? I haven't been back but I did go to a gun range. I know you did. Should we talk about this? I did a good shot. Really? I shot this bitch in the heart like eight times. First time shooting a gun. I didn't say I have to pick out female. Well okay unfortunately one of the two things I picked, one of the two cutouts was. It was a woman. A woman like this and a criminal holding her and I shot her a bunch. Oh no that's not a good shot. Get away from my man bitch. I don't think you're a good shot. I don't think you're a good shot if you kill the hostage. Yeah. I don't know now he and I are free to do whatever it was. So you aim to, I mean shoot to kill. You're not looking to maim anyone. No. You didn't even go for a kneecap. Well they don't have knees on those posters. But yeah I guess so. I guess if someone is in our home we want to kill them because they'll go to jail for six months and they'll come out and they'll come back for us. Totally. Scream seven hello. That's the plot. Definitely. Definitely. I do kind of want to, it did make me want to buy a gun more. Where was the range geographically? LA, downtown Los Angeles. Kind of near the fashion. I need to become comfortable. Near the fashion district. Oh okay. It was so. What did you wear? What did I wear? I think I wore my own merch so I had to picture my butt on my body. Oh of course. With men with guns? Yeah. And they loved it. We would have made you the target. Wow we really covered some topics too. Yeah we sure did. But no do you have any interest in owning a gun? No. Because you live alone now? I don't have. We talked about it. I don't own anything of, I'm the most valuable thing in my house. Yeah you're live. That's it. You're live. I don't have any fancy stuff in my house anymore. But here's the thing, here's the problem. You have a fancy house and a fancy car. So they don't know you have no furniture. Do you know what I'm saying? My house is literally empty. It's literally empty. She has like one sofa. If someone came in there they'd be like oh. Like a frat guy lives here. It's the smallest rug you've ever seen. I don't own anything of value. Every t-shirt is like eight years old. Yeah I mean I think it's probably not a good idea to rob a lesbian. Unless it's a lipstick lesbian. Yeah and there's no. Because then she'll have the bags and she'll have the jewelry. There's no lipstick there anymore. Right so it's just literally nothing to steal. All that stuff has left my house. Let's take line five Howard from Boston. Hey Howard. Oh my god Jeffrey I have been calling you for a year. I have not seen your call at all Howard. I would always take your calls. I know I was a little taken back because you and I, I'm the 22nd of March and I called to wish you a happy birthday last year. But today I have a question for you. What did you do to that sweet innocent girl Annie? Annie has become and I mean this in a good way. She is such a bitch. Oh. Annie. Thank you Howie. Well ask Jameson because he has his theory. You know Howard every egg spoils at Jeff Lewis live. Wow. She did start off so nice. Yeah. She started off so nice and so sweet Howard. So I want to sink my teeth in. Now I can be myself. Do you know, do you know Jeff how famous you've made me? Seriously? Seriously. I made an announcement. I work at a national home improvement center. I made an announcement over the phone and I started walking away from the desk. And a lady pulled me aside. So did you make that announcement? I'm like, yeah, she goes, you're not Howard from Boston. Are you? No. She heard that voice. Yeah. Well, we, you and I go way back. She's like, I'm a jump. I'm a jump Howard. I'm an old e-chomp, darling. Yep. Howard, I'm a jump. You've, you've watched these people come and go. Have you met Howard in the flesh? Oh yeah. Have you met? No, we haven't had the opportunity.哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎 I will call I will talk to him tonight about it. All right. Let me know and then Oscar I will you all we always have to take Howard's call always take Howard's call I feel like I haven't seen these on the board, but you're right about Annie. She is a bitch But but we love her we do love her or I do The listeners don't but I Yeah Very good Is it true that when you are I don't know if you're dating right now But I did hear something maybe it's from Kean that you said that hands are important to you hands are important to every lesbian I didn't know this. This is a lesbian thing. What do you think? What do you think we're working with here? It's the sex toys that I never honestly I never even thought about that. Well, you need to think about us more Wow, I never thought about that. I thought you girls use toys Also happens where do our hands rank? Your hands are longer than mine. You're a good lesbian. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, we look out girls So when you look at so when you look at a woman is hair important his teeth important besides that are you just focusing on the hands? No, I don't even look at anyone's hands hair and is it like a dog show? Oh Men are obviously more Yeah, you're into the wieners. Yeah, I don't like to I don't think it's the first thing though Is it as free James and see it is like a bulge my I have a heat-seeking missile Wow But that is not the first thing you look at like I look at height. Oh, yeah, I look at face Yes, yes, yes, and you're right teeth lips eyes, but it's so fast You know you look at someone you go year and a your else is really important to me energy thing What I'll tell you what's what is it deal killer? Oh Voice oh, I thought you were pointing at Jeff can't wait to go on this date. Yeah, no no The boy the voice is important. You don't like the more effeminate voice. It's just the like the high voice It sounds like a woman. Okay. He's homophobic I Voice important to you. Yeah, cuz I don't someone to sound more queenie than me You don't care. Um, no, of course, I don't like I don't like myself or my voice No, yeah, obviously if a guy has a base voice that makes my like my butt rumble I'm gonna lean towards it He didn't why I'll he did not hear a single fucking word we said Journey a butt rumble. Yeah Butt rumble Thanks for listening if you want more of this listen to Jeff Lewis live every weekday on Sirius XM as well as the Jeff Lewis Channel exclusively on the Sirius XM app You