My Mom Returns

This is a Head Gump podcast. I've been on several dates that normally I would have been like, oh, I'll just overlook those red flags. But as soon as I see a red flag, I'm like, no, date's done and I'm not going to see you again. Yeah. Before I would have moved them in. They would have been your stepdad. Hadda said, this is Johnny. He's living with us now. Yeah, I know. Kelly. Hey. You're nervous. A little. You said before that you were a little nervous. A little. Why? Are you scared of me? Scared of the outcome. Well, you've got fans now from your first appearance on the show. You're getting stopped everywhere. That is not true. You sent me a video of you doing a show. You sent me a video of you doing a show. You sent me a video of you doing a show. What was I talking about? What was I talking about? What was I talking about? What was I talking about? What was I talking about? What was I talking about? What was I talking about? What was I talking about? What was I talking about? What was I talking about? What was I talking about? work and God make friends that's pretty much what you did tell me yesterday you were like You're like yeah, I have to go to hospitals and try and get more people to be dialysis patients at my clinic But I make friends everywhere I go. I do. I thought I thought that was pretty cute. Yeah, I do I do you guys can get that right? Yeah, oh, yeah, you making friends wherever you go. Oh, yeah, people are seeing it. Oh, yeah people are feeling it Is that light bothering you? No the light from the outside. No well brother Well, it's on your mind. I told you to think about some stuff What do you got what do you got in your brain any good stories of us of us? Yeah, there were none From my life, there's no good stories of my life. Well, what do we last time what did we get into we got into? Your how you did as a parent and it was mixed reviews We got into PlayStation story because we did people were mad about that. Yeah, people were real mad about that. They're mad at me They called me ungrateful They said they would have beat the shit out of me if they were my parent, etc You don't remember Caleb called DFS on me because I took his PlayStation We had home visits it was nice talk shake it hit I don't know what to tell you Yeah, I called DFS I use my resources. I was a smart kid I Did have a committee a scare Yes, you shared it with me. I called you about that you did call me about that. I said I might have a committee I did not have a committee I briefly thought that I had committee because someone that I was having sex with called me and said hey I have committee and I said fuck brother and then when I was going to the clinic to get tested. Did I tell you this part? I don't know if I told you this part. I might have been in a little more serious mood I was walking into the clinic I was in Chicago filming the HBO special and I walked I was walking into the clinic and like a walk away from the clinic This guy yelled this like an house guy obviously was going through something God bless He yelled at me. I Can't remember the exact order, but he yelled like repent And I was like I'm closer than ever my friend Hey, you're calling out a good time because I'm I'm really thinking about it. Uh, why is my phone ringing? Who do you think this would be? Oh? It's Holmes FaceTime. You should I answer? Of course you should What do you want bitch Do you think you'll be able to hear that on Mike Holmes said I just want to see your face. I'm recording a podcast right now We were we were gonna have you Yeah, we were gonna have you do an episode tomorrow, but due to your cowardice we won't I guess What No, I think saying no is good, you know I do it 15 times a day No, I think saying no is good, you know I do it 15 times a day Okay Love you I love you. I'll call you later. We'll do therapy at another time. Okay? Love you by That that is an unwell person And it's not because of non-binary, but non-binary is not helping I I'm serious I think what happened is they started playing with gender and they realized that a lot of things are on the table for Questioning and now all of a sudden everything there's no rules. She can't even defend herself They do that why she was on the phone. They mom They You have you have to use their pronouns. They're not they do she they I'm just giving you a hard time I'm gonna work on that they do both you do it. I'll do me. How about that? She they how about all the You do you do a good job with the pronouns I you called that we had a we were at a restaurant Maybe like a year ago and you called the the server came over to the table like you know purple blunt bangs Like piercings all over the face like my kind of people and like so clearly they them like so obviously are they them in the wild? And my mom was like, thank you ma'am, and I was like mom. I really doubt it to be honest with you And mom was like, oh my bad. Okay. Thank you I do get in trouble a lot not trouble. I was just like I doubt it. I doubt it's ma'am to be honest I'm slapped a little bit of that. Yeah, I don't feel like I take it right. I take it graciously Yeah, I don't feel like do you feel like I'm ever do you feel like I'm ever mean to you about it about that about Progressive stuff. Am I ever the annoying liberal in your life? No, yeah, I think more than I think more than anything. It's Informative yeah, I think that's a really generous way to put it. Yeah, I try to just be informative I don't think that I'm punitive about it, but you are also really good at taking a note Like you if I'm like if I'm like, hey, this is a reason we might not do that. You're like, okay I'm so laid back. I don't I think you're kind of your politics are kind of like margaritaville coated You're just like it's five o'clock somewhere type shit Five o'clock right now I feel like you're like whatever all pair all paired heads welcome. Yeah, etc Yeah, we talked about yesterday how to fix Iraq and Iran and I thought about it last night Yeah, I decided you just gave the most midwestern mom pronunciation of those countries that I've ever heard in my life Iraq and Iran you're welcome. Yeah, I'm thank you So what do you think we're gonna do about it? I think you could find me there however you get there and I'm going to make them I'm gonna take Miller light and make them hot wings and homemade ranch and we're all gonna bond Okay, it's all gonna be better. Just so I'm clear You're going to solve the conflict in the Middle East writ large By taking Miller light and homemade chicken wings over there and homemade ranch and homemade my bad And homemade ranch and what are you gonna do? Are you gonna give it to the people? Are you gonna get the leaders together because I assume your goal is a ceasefire. It's gonna be the leaders, right? I mean it works for you when you're Yeah, sad or when I'm sad totally I've never Miller light I've always felt much better after I think so I've never waged war origin aside on anybody So I don't know if it would work on me or not, but we could try yeah So when are you gonna get around to that you think because it's kind of an urgent well I just moved so I got to finish getting stuff put away to find But once I find all of that then I think once we get it set up Wolf I guess fly to Iraq and and then we'll figure it out. I did say Iraq Yeah, I reckon I ran that's not your fault though. That's Missouri. That's Missouri. Yeah, we can't help ourselves Thank you. I like that. I think yeah do that. Yeah, I think do that. That sounds good to me We'll get you over there. Is there anything else? Is there anything at home you'd like to solve? You're already here, so Anything in the States or Kin City you'd like to get after? Well, there's a lot of things to fix same everywhere. Yeah, just you know more love and more respect for each other and Better, I like you. I like the way you look at things brother. What um, what do you've been listening to lately? You got any you any Musicians you're big on right now You know, I'm not good at finding new Musicians like you are I listen to a lot of old country. I listen to a lot of shine down I listen to a lot of my fucking girl. Yeah Yeah, we listen to that a lot when you were growing up. Yeah, I got really lucky with you actually because when I was getting into my like Anxity rock pop punk kind of phase you were there for it There was another one and I'm afraid to say it because I made a mistake and called a band wrong one time and yeah Caleb and his little friend gave me all sorts of hell forever Well, I was I was really there was an era in middle school where I was really obsessed with Virginia doing her makeup off camera for Seemingly no reason. What's looked over it looked over to look at Virginia fully doing her makeup not on camera today She's on a schedule I was really into Buck Cherry Yeah like crazy crazy bitch was like huge for me for a moment there and And mom goes mom goes. What's that? What's that band you keep listening to Buckeye cherry? Not sure how she got it, but yeah, we never let her live that one down But I think the other one that was plain plain white teas plain white teas. Yeah, come on girl. Come on sister Yeah, tell him about it. We used to like that. Yeah, we like plain white teas and Who did sick and tired? I'm so sick and tired to be sick and tired Who's that One hit wonder type shit. Okay, my bad Yeah, you were there for all that I like that You also played me a lot of like What we put you're pretty like air supply. Oh, yeah when I was a kid Dixie chicks. Yeah the chicks tonight Wayne Shania Twain Yeah, Shania Twain You're big on Shania Tim McGraw and Kenny Chesney your little friends. Yeah, we talked about that last episode Well, Cal, what do you think? We think about parenting. What do you what do you got any advice for people out there? people commented a lot on the last episode and said there are a lot of people with mommy issues, okay in the comments They said this episode healed me and I said I said try growing up with her, but Do you have any do you have any advice for the the kids with? maybe people with bad bad moms or People that are moms that want to be good moms anything you want to give to the people I would say the best thing that I did as a mom and For anybody, you know, I think is that I always I was always very open With with you. We always talked about everything even sex obviously. Yeah, and it and Whatever we talked about there was never any Judgment and I think it's very important to be able to Talk with your kids and they need to be able to I mean you're supposed to be their main sports or system so you know to feel to feel a Comfortable come in and talk into your parent about anything. I think is a a Very good thing for a child or a teenager I agree was there anything I ever brought you that you were like that this is a struggle I'm struggling to be supportive on this one When you had said to me and you're probably not gonna know where I'm going with this actually because we don't think we've ever talked about this So Is it gonna be really earnest and intense or is it gonna be kind of like hearted do you think well? I mean you've came you've came past it so I've it's probably okay, okay But when you were going to church all the time and then you stopped going to church and you said that you thought you were maybe Atheist oh, yeah, you brought this up on the last episode. Yes. Yeah, and I really struggled with that Yeah, atheism really pissed you off. Yeah, well not even pissed off. It actually made you really sad It did make me sad. Yeah, you got really sad about atheism Yeah, I'm not rocking like that anymore atheism was fun for a second, but it stayed its course Yeah, it is almost cool. I fucked with it for a while. It was awesome, but then it started to feel like my version of Christianity You know like I was just like so certain of it I started to feel like a Christian so of course I was being fucking annoying and then I was like well It's definitely not Christianity. I'm not feeling like atheism I feel like you know, we're just supposed to be nice and kind of vibe out until the end and then what something will happen Yeah, there's been a few guys on the dating site that I've liked everything about them till I got to that They said they were an atheist and I'm like, I can't do that. Really? Yeah What is that you need them to be Christian? I don't need them to be anything, but I need them to have some sort of spiritual Belief why why yeah because I'm controlling Mom you have great timing you really should have been a comedian I don't think so you have great timing Just let it all play out and then nail the punchline They're comedians who would kill for what you have trust me. I have to watch them perform Some of these people are struggling in the trenches. They could use a little bit of what Kelly's got going on I can have 101 over at the house. Yeah, have people over I've noticed I didn't say the address So that was good. That was progress. Yeah, we're gonna have to start moving different. I think yes on the address stuff Okay, so atheism was tough for you heard that Anything else that you're like damn what am I gonna do with this guy? I think I said that before you were always a good kid Okay, that's nice. That's nice. It's a little boring I mean it was it was a little frustrating when I just wanted to weekend to myself and you would go to your dad's and Like I said you would call and say yeah I actually really feel for you now that I now that I know how hard being an adult is at the time I was like this lazy bitch like Fucking don't have a kid if you don't want to hang out with them sister, you know I was like what is this girl's problem? But now that I know how hard being adults is or you know I was thinking about the other day like you I would ask you to stop and get me stuff I think a lot of kids do this like I'd be like oh after work Can you stop and get me this toy or this I want this meal for dinner or whatever drive in two hours to work in two hours? Yeah, and I when you would say no, I would be like this lazy psycho bitch Like I would be like God what a fucking This freak that I'm like having to live with like I couldn't believe it and now that I'm an adult I'm like if someone stopped asked me to stop on my way home from work. I would kill them and myself Like if I at the end of a day Kevin Kevin asked me to hang out yesterday after I had like run air I'd run gran errands all day yesterday starting like 7 30 in the morning, which for me not for you But for me is very hard. I know you get up at like 4 a.m. Or whatever, but I'm not used to that and Kevin asked me to do something and I could have hit him if he was in person. I would have hit him And he wanted to like hang out and do something fun and I was like now are you insane I just had like a regular person's full day This is not sustainable ridiculous. This is not tenable. I can't live like this And you should not have to and I you're above that I pray that I never do I don't want to have to have a kid calling me asking for stuff when I'm leaving work Oh now back up. We do want you to have a kid. Okay, we do want that. Okay, but they can call They can come Nana Nana do it you think is Nana the grandma name you're gonna go with I think so I kind of picked you as a Gigi for some reason Well two fears Nana you think Nana Okay, why people do a little too much with the grandma grandpa names like Nana's fine I guess but it's like pip-pap and Neenor like they do it's like they go too far. They just do too much It's like everyone's got their own little unique thing. They're like my nim-nams. It's like that's your grandma, you know I mean honest To make brownie points. They can call me whatever they want. Yeah as long as I have the kids. Yes, right? That's heard That's heard. I want I wish guys could get pregnant. I would get a boy pregnant But they can't But you wouldn't want to carry the job. I guess trans guys can Don't cut it. That was a learning moment No trans guys totally can but a lot of them don't want to carry so then what do I do? I guess I had to get a girl pregnant. I've asked Holmes if they if they would have my kid They're here. They're kind of on the fence about it Holmes and What any other the girls? I mean I have their numbers I can call them. Yeah, I don't think they need there's not you that they're needing to hear from It's that they need to clock check in with their own Kind of timelines and what they actually wanted homes is like a maybe we're good. I think we're getting closer every day She's too busy Well, I think she just is not like a baby incubator and has like a life and career Well, that's unfortunate for me. Yeah, it's the Dom. It's like to have my kids, you know Yeah, but she wants to work And so we're allowing that at the moment Maybe Shelby would she'll be probably like having my kids It's a little disturbing that we're even talking about this, but yeah, well, you're the one who wants me to have green kids I'm gay The site and find you someone if I wasn't gay I probably would have had a kid in high school on accident or something But gay has made it like such a process Calling Shelby to see if she'll have my kids, you know, I was a Shelby in forever What up, bitch, what are you doing? You're on the pot you're live on so true Well, not live but you know, hey if if I wanted you to have my babies, would you do it? Yeah, I'd at least give my eggs to sort of a surrogate if I was worried about my body That's not the same thing. What's not the same thing? Oh, I think I would though. I think I would it just depends sort of like where my career was Yeah, see this is I'm friends with a lot of career women That's tough. Okay. That makes sense. That makes sense Kind of what I was thinking and I would take off work, too I Would do too like while you were pregnant I would take off work and do all the like sitcom dad stuff like you could be like I want pickles and ice cream And I'd be like, yes, ma'am, and I'd run out to the store or whatever, you know, I Would do that for you Unless it was seven o'clock at night Yeah, all right, man, well, I love you so much You know who's here. I didn't even tell you My mom Well, this was a lot of fun we love you girl Bye girl So we saw that Because she's she forwarded the float of the surrogate thing and then we kind of got back to she will she will just do it Oh, gee style Okay, you claim that when I told you I didn't want to go to law school anymore And I wanted to be a comedian you claim you didn't care, but I think you totally cared I think you were upset about it. Do you think that's true? Did we talk about this last time chance? No, I think you were upset No, I wasn't upset. I think I really know you know that when we mad at you If you were upset you could tell the truth. I always tell you the truth. Okay. Yeah, no I wasn't I wasn't upset did I thought you would be a lawyer or a politician that is what that is what I thought I Did want you to go to college what you did. Yeah Well, I tried to drop out and you got you did get mad about that Do you remember that? well, I Don't think we should give the people a bad impression Nothing we should talk about those. No, I think you were right, but you did get mad I was upset about that. I called you. I was in New York I had gone to well I interned in New York like after my sophomore year of undergrad and I loved it and then I was like Of course, I'll come back and do school again And then I did my junior year and then after my junior year I went back to New York and then during that summer I called you and was like I'm dropping out of college. I'm gonna be a comedian I'm gonna move to New York and you were that's maybe the most stern you've ever been with me You were like no you're finishing school and I was like dude. There's no point I don't want to do anything with my degree like I'm just gonna I need to come here and do this and you're like Please finish school as it turned out. You're right. I well not really it was good that I finished school I mean, I was so depressed the whole last year. I was like, you know thinking about Checking out early, but didn't do it. I was I was so you should I didn't I know same It's would have been a total logistical nightmare for you. Yeah, and what a waste of talent. It would have been that was really nice That was a really nice thing to say, thank you. It's a weird angle on don't yourself, but I think it was ultimately sweet Have you seen any of this stuff? Wait, no, what were we talking about me killing myself my senior year of college? Didn't do it. Well, I was like really annoying though chance was there. I was no fun to be around I was a bad friend. I was annoying. I didn't like I was my you know, Dr. Holiday my friend who was my professor at Missouri State She I was in one of her classes that year and she was like you're like one of the worst students I've ever had that year. It was crazy. I wouldn't like go to class. I wouldn't do anything I was supposed to do bad stuff, but it was good. I finished. I'm glad I got a degree I guess I do remember I was driving to Springfield a lot. Oh, yeah, like almost every Sunday. Yeah I was like come on down sister. Give me a reason to live take me to lunch We'd always go to that Hibachi. Yeah, what was the name of it? Uh, who hot? Yeah, shout out who hot for real shout out who hot for real Love you guys closest location to Kansas City's in Lawrence. Let's move. Let's inch it a little closer to the city I think maybe we get one in kids. No, don't come over here because we've got gangists on the street Is it open again? Yeah, they reopened they reopened and we shouldn't don't come here who hot your chain I'll go to the local spot. Do you know what I tried yesterday? I Tried yesterday. I have this film camera that I want to get developed Okay, I took it on to her and took a bunch of pictures and have all kinds of good pictures on there that I want now for me and I took I called four places in Kansas City and I said do you develop film cameras and they disposable film cameras and Two of them said no, but then two of them said no and just take it to Walgreens and I was like Just take it to Walgreens. I'm doing something here. I'm like trying to participate You know, I'm trying to be like a good neighbor take it to Walgreens. It pissed me off I was like, don't say that to people I said to this woman. Her name is like Lauren or Loretta or something She said just take it to Walgreens, honey. I said no, honey. Don't tell people that She said okay But then I took it I found a place In Park no, no, I had to go to overland park about it may as well have caught a flight Yeah, I drove all the way out there, but I felt good. I did feel good about it I'm trying to do I had to do the same thing as she had to buy a filter for the air conditioning and the guy the maintenance guy Really nice guy liked him a lot. No shade if he's watching could you imagine? My Kansas City AC maintenance guy is a gay podcast fan Um, no, I've never been more certain that someone doesn't know who I am and I love that about Mike, but he He was like you need a new filter just grab it off Amazon. So he was right. That's what it was Well, it was more than that, but he was like also get a new filter My AC was broken on my second and third floor. So I was sleeping in my four-year for a night But he told me get the filter off Amazon I said Mike don't tell people that and I said is there's do you know anybody local who sells them? He said, oh, yeah, there's some guys in West Bottoms. I said Okay, well, I would lead with that That was easy. I could go to West Bottoms, you know, or they weren't in West Bottoms. They were in river market And that's why all of the small town people are not making it. They killed the little man Alan Jackson's been saying But I'm trying to do my part But I thought it thought that it was crazy that three different people Who benefit from people shopping local said go buy from Walgreens go to Walgreens go to Amazon. I said we should at least stop telling people that at least make people feel bad We should shame people a little bit You know, yeah, I bet she never thought another minute about it after you got off the phone You don't know that you don't know my impact. Kel I might have she might have had a real It might have triggered something for her. I became a better person by people being mean to me Who was ever mean to you abby and taylor Taylor for sure abby and taylor for sure when I was like 15 and started floating some republican ideas I said suck it up. Those are your sisters. Yeah I floated a couple republican ideas because it was really, you know In vogue everyone was kind of being republican at school And so I thought what if I was like that and then I think I said like two things to them and they said you're a fucking idiot Shut up and I said no worries I Said okay sounds good girls Shopify is made for entrepreneurs like you sign up for your one dollar a month trial at Shopify.com slash setup Thank you What was I gonna tell you or ask you? It was not about any of that. I got so off course. You wanted me to be a lawyer. You really wanted me to be a lawyer You thought I was gonna be a lawyer from when? From when you were probably in middle school I think is when you first started talking about being a lawyer. That's such a you did any part of you that go Like you have a middle school kid saying he wants to be a lawyer. That's like a loser Did any part of you go like my kid's a loser? No, I supported whatever you wanted. I'm like yay go Caleb Yeah, I think you should have thought that I was a loser. No never like a 10 and you want to be a lawyer only when I wanted to go out and Party and I had to come get you from your dad's and then I had to stay home You're really hung up on that. I really thought you were a loser You're really hung up on that, huh? Yeah It's been a long time. You've got a lot of freedom now. I do. Yeah, and I have more than made up for it. What? Why'd you say it like that? What do you mean? Because I go out. I do whatever I want. Yeah That's nice That's nice. What are you doing when you go out? Which part of the time like when you go out, what do you mean? Like you're going to a bar Are you going always with your friends? Are you going out alone? What are you doing out there? Either either? Yeah Like it took me it took me a long time to get to that Um where I felt comfortable just going In somewhere by myself and a lot of my friends still don't They will not go in and sit at a bar by themselves and I do How do you think you got over that? I don't know. I think I just got so bored because most of my friends are married I think I just got so bored with you know, sitting at home by myself. I was like Screw it. I'm gonna go I went and sit at Buffalo Wild Wings for an hour and a half yesterday by myself Made friends with the people beside me and made friends with the bartender. It was awkward They tried to get me to stay and watch the wing eating contest last night, but I said I can't Why couldn't you Well, because I don't know if I'm gonna blame you or chance, but somebody scheduled this for Sometime around noon today And I knew I had to get some sleep Yeah, and I didn't know where any of my stuff was since I just moved so I had to find it Yeah, or else you would have stayed for the wing eating competition. Absolutely. I might have joined in I love you girl. What can I say? So you made friends last night I did when you make when you make friends out. Do you like get their information? Sometimes last night I didn't get these ladies information. They weren't from here. They were in town for something Where were they from? I didn't catch that. Hmm, but they said they were here on vacation Where were where were you? I was at Buffalo Wild Wings in Belton in Belton. They were in Belton on vacation Well, I didn't say I didn't say I'd make classy friends. I said I make friends I don't judge. Yeah They want to they want to come in here bad and I feel bad for them because they probably want to buy something We can get them something later. They'll come back. They're getting straight back in the car. They're getting straight back in the car They'll see this later. They'll understand it at a different time Those are fans Those might be fans that girl looks like the girl that just walked up the door looks like she fought people in middle school Oh, good god. Those are my fans. Those are my fans The girls that like wanted to fight so bad that they would stick up for kids. They didn't even believe in you know what I'm saying Like they didn't actually care that kid was getting picked on but they'd be like, how about you've talked to him one more time? I'll fucking hit you like they just wanted to hit someone. Those are my fans Those are good fans to have bleep her name, but that was my girl She wore a south pole jacket every day even when it was hot and she beat the shit out of people on the Votech bus She beat people up on the Votech bus and she was right by the way She was a nasty woman How do you I'm not say not derogatory. What's the other one complimentary. She was a nasty woman slay I loved her. Well behaved women rarely make history all adventurous women do Lena Dunham etc You know what I mean? Anyway, we weren't talking about that. We were talking about you Um, you make friends a lot when you go out. How do you okay? So but what you didn't I don't remember your answer to how did you get over How did you get like because you used to be A woman who like would entertain men that sucked just to have somebody around Absolutely, you've identified that as a part of your thing for many years. How did you break out of that? Oh It took a lot of self healing. Yeah, it took a lot of um learning to Love who I am and to learn what I have to bring to the table and That I deserve better. Yeah um you know I Unfortunately, that's you know, we talked about that on the last podcast. That's one of the biggest Things if I would change something from your childhood that I would is the the men I had in and out because I thought that I had to have someone so it's probably just been in the last three years that I've really gotten Um so that I don't feel that way and how I know that I'm Completely past it as I've been on several dates that normally I would have been like, oh, I'll just Overlook those red flags, but as soon as I see a red flag, I'm like, no dates done and I'm not gonna see you again Yeah, before I would have moved them in They would have been your stepdad How to said this is johnny Living with us now. Yeah, I know I know I would have been having quite a few meals with that guy Yes, and and his ideas about the world would have been not normal, but they would have been our way You listen to your stepdad, he knows what's right Oh kelly you cracked me up. Yeah, that was bad But you got over it somehow, but now that it's just me I demand to have better Yeah Yeah, now that now that you have to put up with it alone now we have to do better Yeah, that's no fair. That's no fair. I say go back just kidding obviously Um, that is so funny. Wait, what was I gonna ask you? Oh, do you think that you made me gay or do you think I turned out gay? Because I think you had a role in it. I think there's so many things I did that could have turned you gay Yeah, for sure, but I think I mean, let's be honest from a very young age. I think we knew that what? Yeah, I think we knew what do you mean? That you were gay Well, I think we talked last time about the little panties, didn't we? I like silk underwear. That's not we did talk about this and I think you got in trouble by me for that because that's not inherently gay No, it it doesn't but you like to wear her dresses and stuff too dresses are pretty They are pretty. I don't like and the fact that you wanted to be pretty made me think that maybe You might have some gay tendencies. Nice gay tendencies So I've got gay tendencies. All right, sister. Come on Come on Am I right? Yeah, nice Um, okay. Yeah, I think you had a role though. Do you think people were born? What role do you think I had just like your energy like you clearly wanted a gay son whether you knew it or not? You know what I mean? You're gonna have to go deeper into what my energy was. You just like wanted a gay son You like wanted somebody to key with you wanted to key with me so bad. You loved when I was sassy Oh, I did love that and we were We did a lot of uh shopping and stuff together. So I mean, I guess Yeah, stuff like that. You wanted me to be gay so bad. I didn't encourage you to do boy things No, you didn't But you did you played football you played You did one time though. Do you remember do you remember? I think I think we've talked about this But the it was like 105 degrees out and I didn't want to go to football practice And you're like you're like don't be a baby and you're like mean to me about going to football practice Well, because I'm a big believer that if you start something you should finish it. Yeah, but that's like kind of boring That's a little republican coded If it's 105 your kid doesn't have to go to football practice. I think oh he went he did Yeah, that was really the only time you were on me about doing a boy thing other than that you were pretty chill Yeah, I could do kind of whatever I wanted type shit Yeah, because I wanted to do what I wanted. Yeah, you didn't get to though. That's the hard part about having kids You kind of have to like stop doing what you want. That's why I'm dragging. It was okay. What it was okay being a parent No being a parent was great. Okay, cool. I was worried about that being your review of it. It was okay. I love to be an apparent I'm gonna talk about more about your stuff with relationships. I think it's interesting So you fixed it now. You're not letting just any man in how have your dates been going recently? Well, you told me something so gross You told me that these men that you're dating will try to like before you've even met up like try to make it sexual quick Oh, yeah, absolutely like like middle-aged men on you're doing like facebook dating, right? Yeah, that's That makes me really I wish you wouldn't because facebook is such a because to be honest I'm not committed enough to the dating scene to actually go on a dating site. Yeah, like I'm totally cool with just Doing my own thing right now. Yeah, I like that. That's cool. But facebook dating these guys are being like sinned swimsuit pics Yes Oh, they say more stuff than that. That's insane. Yeah, men are disgusting. They are don't you feel? Like that's really gross animals. It genuinely were animals. That's insane But what is the dating pool for single guys your age? That's the worst part is that you know, I'm 52 years old. I could see that at 20 Yeah, ain't nobody want to see any of this at 52. Well, I think you're wrong because they're on facebook drooling like dogs These guys are in your facebook dms. Ask him for bikini pics. That's crazy That is crazy. That's crazy What is that? I don't know. I I feel for you because I'm like, where are you supposed to meet? What you went on a date with a guy who didn't like gay people? Yeah, actually actually we um and he was from back home. I should have yeah um, but he said that uh that um, he didn't know how his family or them would deal with with uh Gay people come into Thanksgiving. I said Fuck you. I'm gone. Yeah, I'd went I'd went on a thursday and I was supposed to stay the whole weekend. I took friday off of work and This was friday morning. We had the conversation and I packed up my stuff and I went home What is that? That's so funny because I don't think of a lot of people where we're from even having those ideas anymore you know, honestly, it took me by surprise because You have said several times that there are still people like that in this world. Yeah, I mean, I know they're out there but I hadn't really ran into them and it Disgusts me actually, you know that we're that close minded that um We can't accept someone for who they are. Yeah Yeah, but you've been saying this you've been on this. Oh, yeah, I've always felt that way But you were cool with gay people a long time ago I was and trans people You're rocking out I don't care what people do Yeah, it's weird. I mean life's hard enough. Why would I care what anyone does? Don't don't judge me and I'm not gonna judge you and it's all gonna be fine right on sister. That's what I've been saying You stole that from me. No, I think you got it from me Yeah, I don't know dating. Who's dating single 50 year old straight men in Missouri Shoo, it sends a chill down the spine to think about It's uh It's been fun. Yeah What are you gonna do you ever? I mean I brought it up last time, but of course I have to bring it up again just because I like to check in with you I think that you would be very happy with lesbianism. I do I think that you and a woman would make a beautiful partnership I think that and I think I said this before I could live with a woman I could I think we would have a wonderful relationship, but I don't Think I could do the sexual part. Yeah, that's true. And some people are just straight and there's nothing wrong with that I love you no matter what strictly dickly. That's what they used to say at the women's prison Yeah Yeah They were strictly dickly gay for the stay and gay all the way those are Those are the three genders. Yes I learned a lot working there. I this is good. This is good. This the women's prison is good. What did you learn working there? I learned I didn't want to go to prison for one thing. Why is that? Like what what did you not know before that you needed to know to be convinced? Um, well, I pretty much knew before but just seeing some of the things and hearing some of the things that go on And besides what I would have been someone's bitch Mom I'm sorry, but I couldn't do it mom Why do you say that? because because I'm So laid back and shy and I don't know how to fight I wouldn't be able to fight my way out of it I Yeah, I guess maybe you would have been yeah, that's crazy What else did you learn in there? You worked at the women's prison for you were a nurse at the women's prison for two years two years And can can you talk about anyone that was in there when you were there or no? No, but there was there was a lot of them that I truly felt Didn't deserve to be there why? There was one in particular that I remember that um, she had Killed her husband when she was 15. So that alone tells you that she had had a rough life. Yeah Um, supposedly he was very abusive But because she had I guess planned it she got life in prison She was in her 40s. Yeah, and she'd been in prison that whole time. Yeah, I think that's a bit much Yeah, and I felt very bad for her. She she'd always been a model prisoner So some some people like that because you know back then so that would have been what? 30 years ago 40 years ago when she'd committed the crime. Yeah, I think that um, there wasn't as much talk about women being abused and about They should have the right to protect themselves or and so there there were people in there for that reason and had been in there for Many years and I felt bad for them. Yeah I think they had served their time So you think that she should have served time but that she should have not gotten a life sentence I don't know exactly which which one I feel but I definitely think that she should have been released way before then Yeah, I mean you don't even know who you are at 15 years old So there were some sad cases in there. Yeah. Yeah, I think I remember you talking about it when I was younger and there were a lot of women in there that were in there because they Jack killed a man who was abusing them or like a lot of it was like people who had no options Just like doing what they kind of had to do. No, there was one that was in there for embezzlement she's like she's like I was just tired of being poor. I was somebody too I'm like girl girl. I get you queen. Yeah. Hey shout out. I mean you tried How was she in there for a long time? I think she got like 10 years Yeah, I probably did half of it. I don't know you win some you lose some when you're in bezel. Yeah I mean she was probably living her best life for a while. Yeah, but you know when people in bezel They always get caught chance in virginia. Oh, they always get caught. Oh and the law always wins It's weird to me that he would throw you guys under the bus like that. Not throwing under the bus just having a conversation Just talking about what happens to people who steal from their boss. I'd cut that part chance. No, we're gonna leave it We're gonna let his fans know we're gonna call this exhibit C Was there anyone else in there that you really loved or any other any other situation that you were like, yeah, hell, yeah Or hell, no, I guess although that's sadder. Yeah, I don't want to talk about those situations. I know you don't you probably on the virgin tears already No, actually, I'm doing pretty good today. Yeah, I don't think we'd been talking 10 minutes last time and I was yeah You cried immediately. Well, we got in this is a more playful episode. I'll say last one. We pretty much immediately. I was like Here's here's my trauma. Yeah What did you cry about so soon last time you cried like immediately? Um something I'd done to you in your childhood It was the Christmas thing It was the TV. Oh my god, dude people were so mad at me about that too. They were like, how dare you? I'm like, I'm like, I was a kid. I was a child They didn't like me. They were on your side the whole way Which is like, yeah with hindsight as as adults we can both be on your side. Yeah, how's my hair look? It looks pretty good I'm really liking your shirt though. Is it being normal today? Did you look at my hair and then say that? No No, I was thinking about I was thinking about one of the clips where people were mad at me from our last episode I didn't like the way my hair looked and I was like caught on top of everything You guys are mad at me. You're on my mom's side and I look foolish Anyway, you look very dapper today. It wasn't important. Thanks mom Anyway, um, yeah, you cried about that But what are what are the was there anyone else in the prison that you're like? Yeah, it's cool what you did your pro embezzlement We learned that Um, I don't know Those are the those are the ones that really stand out Dude, you got to understand not wanting to be poor anymore. I get it We were so poor when I was growing up. It was it sucked. We were so poor. I hated that you did a podcast recently that Uh-oh that made me cry. Okay Okay, what I what did I say? Well, all I gotta say is one word and you're gonna know which podcast it was. Yeah gap Oh god, you texted me about this. Yeah Yeah Go ahead tell your story. So he's like We were so poor we had to wear hand-me-downs and Mom and go to goodwill bring home perfectly fine clothes is what you said. I would get so mad at you about goodwill. You'd be like Ah, ah, ah, what are these things? Look some of my friends at school had new name brand stuff And it was like under armor and you remember when under armor was like popping off when I was a kid I bet you do and And it was like you couldn't get under armor to armor hand-me-down You know because it wasn't even old enough for that yet So I was like very insecure because I was a kid and kids are stupid And I wanted the name brands that everyone else was wearing and we couldn't afford them I think what really made me sad about it was that you Remember getting that gap sweater and how happy you were to get something new and then You were kicked in the balls basically. Yeah Well the story from the I don't remember whose podcast this was on but the story was that I wore a brand new Gap sweater and I was proud to have like something name brand because we didn't get to do that You didn't even make it on the bus. Did you? I was at the bus stop So I didn't I was like a sweet kid and I didn't know really what bullying was And so someone was like someone was like hey nice sweater and I was like thanks My mom got it for me I was like thanks my mom bought it for me brand new And then they were like they're like, oh really? Yeah gap actually stands for gay ass people. Yes, and I was like I didn't know you could do that I didn't know you could like so what did you do? I was I was like I was on the verge of tears I was like I was like I that was I literally the moment I learned about bullying I was like, I didn't know you could make someone feel good in order to make them feel bad I was shocked. It was like new technology to me. It was like you had told me what an atom bomb is I was like you can't do that. It was crazy. He turned it inside out. I turned it inside out the rest of the day I never word again. Yeah, but I always tried to make sure that you guys looked very nice So I guess that was a little heartbreaking for me that I feel like I did not succeed in that In that department you did we always looked good. We always had we always had and you know what it taught me It built character. Yeah, it's good that we didn't grow up with money. I'm sure I'm sure I would be God, can you imagine what I would be like if we grew up with money? You'd probably a dick. I probably I'm thinking about becoming one now. I'm glad you I'm glad you grew up poor Nice Thanks. I think we both like what it's done for you. Yeah, we both have to be okay with it because it's what happened Yeah, being poor sucks, dude. It does not good Yeah, no fun How'd you do it? It worked a lot. You did and you never did the you you never did like food stamps or anything even though we probably should have, huh? That's correct. What was your hang up about that? I don't know. I just I just felt you were my responsibility. Yeah Would have been better for you to have some help though. Do you think you would do it differently now? Or rather, what would you do differently now knowing the stuff you know? You might not have been here You wouldn't have had kids. Well, I don't know that I would have had them at 18 and 21. I don't think you should have Had kids that I don't think yeah, I think I'm on your show. Well, you know, I've told you don't like when I say this But you should have definitely had an abortion to Colton Yeah, yeah, we're way too young to be having a kid. I was young But did you consider abortion or no? I forget your ideas on the um at one point I did but not Not so much because I didn't want him but because I was So sick and so depressed that I was like I got nothing to give. Yeah, you know get this guy out of here. Yeah. Yeah, but you didn't do it. Mm-hmm Do you regret it? No, I just have to check I'm an interviewer. No, no worries. It's cool. Yeah nice Yeah, I think it's it's unfortunate that that anti-abortion people will use examples of Like women who didn't get abortions like for you for example, you're so glad you had your kids You like your life You're like love your kids now you have kids that are out in the world That are adults and they would use that as like a reason that we shouldn't have it or that people shouldn't do it I think that sucks. Yeah, because I think there's so many examples of people who were in your same situation that did get an abortion That it saved their life or allowed them to do x y and z or allowed them to have kids in a better way in the future, etc I just don't think that you can I don't think you can judge Any situation, you know like because every situation is different I mean had I had an abortion would my life have turned out different. Yes, would it have been better? I doubt it. I like my life. I like your life too. It would be different. You might have yeah Who knows what would have happened for you? It doesn't matter. It's not the choice that you made. It's not the life that you have but Yeah, I think I think if there's a woman in your Situation who's 18 and pregnant. It doesn't know what she's going to do with a baby. She doesn't have to struggle through it just because Yeah, I think that I think that when I got Pregnant with Cole and then I went um, you know, I'd just gotten out of high school, which my plan was always to be a nurse I think I would have went to college And I would have been drunk and stupid and I wouldn't have graduated and But I think because I had kids and I went when I was a little older I took it a little more serious Yeah, I don't know. I think everything happens for a reason. Yeah. Yeah I like that idea, but by the time you got around to getting pregnant with me, you should have been a little more careful I don't know what you were thinking then second kid with that guy You seen my run of men What'd you say you seen my run of men your run of men? Yeah I have it's an interesting line up. Actually. I really liked your dad. I think I told you that in the last broadcast It was cool, but yeah, he obviously wasn't ready to be a parent No, he was bad at that. No He didn't like the idea at all. No shout out to the big guy. Yeah, I get it If I could get people pregnant on accident my life would be hell I would have had a kid already that would have been a nightmare. It would have what would I have done? However, you guys were like 23, 34 21 21 Jesus christ. Yeah If I had a kid at 21 on accident If I was having sex with women And whoever in you know, a person had sex with said I'm pregnant and I'm keeping it. I've been like damn Can I change your mind? Anything we can do to change that idea or no That's just crazy to me But shout out to people getting pregnant for real And shout out to you make it a goal and shout out to you for keeping it Yeah, I definitely if I were you would have aborted me. Do you know how many people have thanked me for having you? It's it's a beautiful thing really that's that's I got thanked today for having you that's very sweet. Yeah, that's well, you know They didn't have to put up with it. You know, I just did what I did. They weren't there. I just did what I did I just had sex with Caleb's dad and well And well here he is Now you have a gay podcaster in the world Not enough of us by the way gay podcasters I'm gonna become like one of those right-wing Populate the world type people but instead of for making christians. I'm gonna be like we need to make more gay podcasters I think if anybody can do it you can what would you do if I became really right-wing would you support me still? I support whatever you decide nice. That's technically the wrong answer, but was beautiful nonetheless That's technically not true correct, but I love that you feel that way. I do Oh You think you'd ever run for office? No I think you'd be good in politics. We need people like you in politics people who want nothing to do with it Like have a beer and do whatever you want straight up, dude. Yeah, that would be an incredible platform A nurse from Missouri who's just like Everybody have a Miller light and chill the fuck out. Yeah, that's a good platform. You should run Not for like president or anything. I wouldn't do that to you. What do you think I could do? You could do whatever you wanted, but I think you'd be an incredible Maybe in the Missouri house of representatives You'd be really good at it mom They'd be lucky to have you over there Yeah, they'd be lucky to have me right now. It's a lot of dim-witted fucking freaks in that building Oh, they are you don't have to agree, but good god I don't know if you've heard any of these people talk, but it's like the it's like the fucking hills have eyes if it were a congress Jesus fucking christ. We are so fucked These people it's like deliverance, but less intellectual It's crazy We could get you in there. You could do some cool stuff Would you ever consider it then I'd have to work with all those people? I know, but someone's gotta do it Someone's gotta do it Or maybe city council. I could maybe take one for the team. I think it'd be cool of you is all I'm saying What would your platform be? What would you do for real? I have no idea. You would have to come up with my platform. That's that's what I like about you as a candidate I would embrace whatever you gave me. I love that vision. Yes. I love the way you think baby girl It's good shit. It's good shit. Thanks, bro. So Virginia wants to know what's on your dating profile You're it's just facebook, right? It's just your facebook profile. No, it's just like a dating app. It's facebook dating. Oh Yeah, god these fucking tech billionaires. They're in everything now. They are It's insane. Yeah, these guys. Well, I can't talk about what I think we should do to them I'll get flagged and in trouble, but uh facebook dating. What is your profile like you have like prompts on there? um, I have Pictures on there and I have like some of my favorite shows on there and some of my favorite music on there And just like what I'm looking for What are what are you looking for? I would like to find my forever I mean, I would I would like to eventually you know 52 years. I'll never been married. I would like to get married at some point maybe um, but just somebody that could You know, I think we talked about this a little bit yesterday at lunch. It's somebody that has the same Beliefs that I do But something that's really important to me is you're gonna have to have a personality I mean if you can't laugh and Or take sarcasm because I have a very sarcastic sense of humor If you can't take that then it's probably not gonna work Or if I'm having to say oh, I didn't mean that it was a joke That's not gonna work. Yeah So um and just somebody that's honest and somebody that You know enjoys Drinking beer on back roads and bonfires and good music and yeah So that's that's kind of what's on my on my profile virginia You're welcome I want that for you. Do you think that do you think that men struggle? Do you think that straight men in your experience struggle with like a far a fart? I mean, maybe they might I was trying to say funny smart like a funny smart woman who knows what she wants I think I think some men probably do because You know I could date ones that are a little younger and I have one out with some that are a little younger Hell yeah queen. How young we talking? Um, how young we talking? I think the youngest one that I went out with was 42. Okay Nice Not 18. I mean no, I didn't want to be 18. I guess I was kind of hoping you'd drop like a 34. I'd be like, ooh Kelly. Yeah um So, I mean, I guess I just lost my train of thought what we're talking about. Uh, do you think that in your experience? Do you think that straight men are intimidated by a smart funny woman? So I think The older guys I think some of them are still in the era of Women should Be quiet Spoke when spoken to you're barefoot and pregnant. You're no good at that. No come on sister. My head would be rolling down the hill I know that's right. Be on the guillotine. Yeah Yeah, yeah, so the the a lot of the the guys in your age bracket are still in the Make dinner shut up not not all of them, but I think a lot of them still feel like the man should make the decisions Yeah, disgusting. That's insane. Yeah I just feel so disconnected from that ideology. I'm so not around it and I'm so not a part of it That I feel when I hear it. I'm just like you're kidding. It feels like a sitcom device to me Right, and I'm like you're like that's made up for tv That's also not the way that any of the women in our family. Like that's just not our reality Like I don't think the women in our I don't think the women like I don't know. I just think all the women in our family are so strong and they put up with a lot of bullshit I will say like the men in our family have gotten away with some shit that I'm like you should have been killed for that one But I don't think it's ever been like that. I don't think it's ever been like be quiet be docile speak when spoken to Yeah, or none of the women in our family have been that way So I have a hard time imagining that that's actually happening. Yeah, it does still that's nuts to me. Yeah Maybe you could show yourself a younger guy I've had some fun with some younger ones. Come on now One of them one of them. I met it buffalo wild wings. I know that's fucking right. Can I buy you a beer? I'm like Yeah, you can Yeah, how'd that go? Did you date him? Did you take him home? Not that day. I didn't nice. Hell yeah, I made him work for it a little bit Are you bringing guys back to your place? Are you going to their place? I'm not gonna tell you how that ended. Nice. Well, I'm assuming you hooked up with them, but I'm just wondering He didn't come to my place. Nice Nice I couldn't tell you when the last time was there was a guy at my place. I like that. Yeah. Yeah, I like that I don't like people knowing where I live really. I mean men except for strangers. You meet at the bar, of course Strange women. She was a friend of a friend. So it's not like she was a complete stranger. Yeah Yeah, I don't like men knowing where I live either Whatever, I mean, I bring them over but I don't like the idea of them knowing where I live When they leave as soon as we're done having sex. I'm like, damn, it's crazy that you know where I live I don't like that part of it. Maybe you should have him blindfolded and I haven't tried it, but I'm open to it Could be something. I think you got to be safe nowadays Yeah, more and more people are I do get a lot of who you are a lot of guys on the dating apps now because gay men, you know gay men Don't get me started But a lot of guys in the dating apps now hitting me up to they want to talk about what I do for work They want to be like, oh, I'm a huge fan What's it like being friends with so-and-so and I'm like In what world would I like put yourself in my shoes and think about would you ever want to have that discussion with a stranger on a dating app? In what world would I ever be into that? Yeah, why would you even waste your energy on why would I be talking to you? Right? It's like you yourself just acknowledged I have cooler friends than you Why would I be talking to you? It makes no sense. I'm like, I don't even I'm way out of your league I don't know. It's not that it's just like if you think my life is so interesting that you would bother me like that On a dating app, what would make you think that I would be like, oh, yeah, I'll talk to this stranger about Whatever random person they're a fan of that I'm friends with it's like do some math that makes no sense So that has to be very hard for you for it to be like on a dating app and not know if people genuinely Want to get to know you or just want to get to know you because of who you are Yeah, and what you do that would be that would be difficult. I think yeah, and it's also it is difficult And it's also stupid because it's like what I do is so silly that I'm like I can't imagine wanting to be friends with someone because they're a comedian. I'm like, that's dumb to me That's not I don't find that intriguing. I don't find what I do to be I don't find what I do to be that interesting genuinely. I like what I do. I love my job I'm very grateful that this is my life. Thank god for it. But like I don't know when someone tells me they're like a You know like a statistician or something. I'm like I would so much rather hear about that than hear about what a Like an actor does. I don't know. I just think other things are more interesting So when someone goes out of their way to make our conversation about that I'm like I find that fundamentally boring I have a hard time connecting to that. I think that a lot of Dating for it to succeed you kind of have to be on the same playing field And I don't I don't really know how to explain that like I'm not even necessarily talking about money, but you have to be somewhat on the same Level of intelligence in the same level of and those people That bring that to the table are probably not on the same level of intelligence that you are I know what you mean by that. I I don't think I would say I don't think I would call it intelligence I don't think intelligence is the word I'm looking for. Yeah, I'm not it's not I'm not Yeah, I don't think it's intelligent like intelligence doesn't feel good That feels mean and kind of like elitist to me for to apply to me. Yeah, I don't that's not the word I'm looking for but I mean more like Yeah, there is something about if you're if you're somebody who's blown away by the fact that I If you're blown away by like the fact of my job, then we're likely not a match There's a there's an there's an imbalance there that is not healthy Because I'm not blown away by that and I don't think it's if you're if you're like wowed by the fact that I've like hung out with a famous person That we're not going to be a match day to day, you know what I mean, right? Still trying to think of the right word. Yeah, I know what you mean. I know what you mean though And it's like also Yeah, I just wish I could I wish I could give the knowledge to them that most famous people are fucking boring They're so boring. They are not I promise you they are not interesting. They are They are the more famous they are they are further and further removed from reality They don't do anything interesting. They do their job. They go home. They go on like nice trips But they stay in like sterile highly secure like facilities effectively they Get bothered everywhere they go which totally kills the vibe. It's not fun to be out with someone who's getting bothered all the time Um, yeah, it's just like they're not interesting. Yeah, they haven't gone. They haven't shopped for their own groceries in years They don't like it's not it's not a You think of hanging out with a famous person. You're like, oh, that must be so exciting Not really unless you're an alcoholic or a drug addict Then it's really exciting because they have access to all that stuff But I don't drink or do drugs like that. So it's it's not fascinating to me to go to any of those things You know what I mean? Yeah You would probably like the drinking part of it. Yeah, you get down like that I mean if it says on their profile, they don't drink I don't I don't because because honestly I Like to drink I like to go out and have a drink And have wings or just visit with people meet new people. I enjoy it Yeah, I'm not gonna change that. Yeah. So if you don't drink And I'm go we go out on a date and you're like she's having two beers That's gonna piss me off I mean, I'm like I'll pay for it myself. Yeah, you don't have to pay for it But don't sit over there and tell me how many I can have yeah, but there's sober people who wouldn't I mean I I there's sober you're probably not interacting with them, but there are sober people that aren't like that I grow up people who drink all the time I date people who who drink a lot and it's fine. I'm like go nuts dude because I'll I'll get a little high I'll smoke some weed. You have some cocktails. We can meet some people together But you've laid down your boundaries But a lot of people that don't want to drink don't want to go into a bar or go into and the bars that I go into are very They're a hole in the wall. I mean it's just the point is talking to people. Yeah But yeah, it's to talk to people, but it's like these are not bars where there's anything else going on. It's like you're going to bars It's not yeah, it's just Uh Very laid back down to earth people that yeah, just like to sit in there and Shoot the crap and you know a lot of them They know each other's families. They I mean it's just it's just nice. It is nice. Well also I think sobriety has changed a lot. I think people that are sober In your age bracket. I'm quite a bit younger than you not to brag. Um When to work out if you weren't I think a lot of people in your age bracket sobriety is a different thing sobriety in in our age bracket is like It's very common. It's like not a big deal. It's like I don't know It just feels like there is a different culture around it I feel like a lot of the sober older people I know are very like I do not want to be in bars I do not want to be around alcohol. This was very hard for me and a lot of sober people my age are like I don't know like california sober where it's like they'll smoke a little weed or they'll have like one sip of a drink But they don't mind being in the space You know what I mean? And I think maybe that's that's what I'm thinking of a lot of people my age that don't drink it's because They either never did and they've been against it or because they've had a problem at one time And now they don't like being around it. Yeah, which is totally valid and that that probably would be a relationship difficulty But you're it is funny to me that your two things in dating are like they cannot be an atheist and they must like alcohol That's that's just funny to me. I like that I think that's iconic I mean, I don't know why I haven't landed somebody Okay, mom Hey, thanks for being here. We meandered this episode. I like that for us. Yes Um, is there anything you want to leave the people with anything that you wanted to say that you didn't say Any thoughts you have your big second appearance? I'm just thankful to be back and to see all of you and get to visit with all of you and Hopefully cable will have me back again. We'll have you around for a visit queen. Don't you worry? We'll have you around for a visit real soon as you should as you should Kelly tell the people where they can find you Well last time I said Kansas City and Caleb said that's not what they meant So no, I think that's right for you facebook instagram. You want them to find you on instagram? They can What are you posting on there? Well, I'm maybe gonna cut this. What are you posting on instagram? I just got back on there. So there's not hardly anything at all on there. I don't even follow you on instagram. I don't think I follow you Nice, what's your handle? My what what's your name on instagram? Kelly heron. Is it at Kelly heron one word? Yeah, Virginia What What is it at Kelly heron? Yeah, is it how many followers she got on there? Nice good job, Cal way more on a picture of a car Why'd you post a picture of a car? That's not me. It's not somebody's No Mom you've gotten personators. Oh, that ain't cool That's what happened to my facebook page. I lost everything for years and years. I had to start a whole new facebook like seven months ago It's a picture of a car Oh, it's they're doing crypto. They're trying to sell crypto in your name. That's what happened on facebook Oh Kelly. Oh your heron underscore Kelly. Is that you? This is your profile picture on there. Yes, okay. You're so pretty Okay, 19 followers And doesn't follow virginia That's because I don't know. I don't know who to follow Virginia can add me. She's followed by alley holyfield Alley founder. All right, shout out. Well follow mom if you want to she has not posted on there She I don't know what you're doing on there. I'm on tiktok a lot. You're on tiktok Yeah, you are sending you send me a lot of tiktoks that are like It's like Violin music that's like I actually just saved one last night and then it's like text over an ocean that's like Your youngest son may not know this But all you do is think about him and wish for his happiness May god bless him in his journeys send one like for your youngest son who you love and you send me stuff like that I do I say I'm I'm sorry that my younger self Couldn't be the person I am today and Raised you in the way that I did. Hey, you did great brother. Love you. Love you. Bye That was a hit gum podcast