Self tanning, Hibachi, and How to Beat the Winter Scaries

I feel like a part of me split at that point. Like, a part of me went on to continue, like, this pregnancy, and I met our daughter alive and healthy. And then this other part of me is, like, living in reality, where I'm not pregnant and I'm not going to meet our baby. When we're dating, we need to be extremely picky about who we choose to marry. Is this a problem that I'm willing to put up with for the rest of my life in marriage? Tanding my face single-handedly got me through my first three months of postpartum. Now listen, I did have allergic reactions. Everything comes with a cost. I'm willing to have hives on my neck to feel alive. This could be my new hobby! honestly it's perfect for me I was wondering what your advice is on feeling like you're being judged on your parenting welcome back to always here I'm your host Abby Howard and I'm Abby Howard hey how you doing good how you doing i'm good i feel like someone just sent me through a washing machine and wrung me out and blow dried me like a dog because you went to the gym went to the gym and showered blue dry my hair curled it so fast i'm like you came down with perfect ringlets i'm like how in the heck did she have time for that i needed to shake it out they're beautiful thank you but you're stressed you're no i just feel like a poodle that oh yeah went through something crazy no i feel good a little sore but i'm happy it's a good kind of sore oh good i have this like random meniscus issue i don't know if it's that i'm diagnosing myself with that so can't go to gym this week talk to matt you know he tore his meniscus yeah i think caleb's got issues too so they'll be our doctor that's all i need what's wrong here right we are here to share the hope in the heart with heart and humor that's right yes and we have actually an exciting announcement to start with so something really fun and hopeful yes we are doing a book club oh baby yes i mean you know me this is really exciting for me i'm thrilled about it um so we're just gonna kind of figure this out as a community together navigate what this is gonna look like but we'll put a link to it down in the description um okay so it's starting in february february's book is my husband's wife right now y'all have read it well maybe you have by the time this episode comes out that'd be a really quick read some people are on top of it really yeah i mean how do you find books hmm is that like a long answer i find books from abby howard really i really always only read the books that's so nice so you recommended me a book recently and i was like i would not recommend the book i'm reading i think it's too sad i don't want that well i just read a really sad book too and it was okay uh but what i'm saying is the book is my husband's wife i heard about this one because she's a very already popular author and like everyone has their like watch list for 2026 new releases this is a new release we read alice feeney for our personal like in-person book club last year in the month of january oh really that was rock paper scissors oh yeah that was a fun so it's just i think it's just gonna be like a fun i'm anticipating suspenseful thriller vibe mystery and so if you're in for that read that book and we'll have some fun prompts in goodreads and just discuss it together should be kind of fun and it might be motivating if one of your goals for 2026 is to read more books then we got your first one picked out for you and it should be a fun ride so check out that link this is fun always here's very own book club okay the hope and the hard you go first because mine's kind of heavy why do i keep dropping in the heavy ones well i think that's what hard means okay yeah you're right yeah yeah you're like i'm sore and i was like i'm depressed i'm not i'm not oh i'm not depressed i swear hey interrupting the podcast really quick to just ask you guys a little small favor we put this podcast out here for free so um we're just asking for the small payment of a like a review five stars subscribe download the podcast whatever platform you're on basically just tell them that you enjoy it and intend to come back it really really means so so much to us we were really grateful and here is your five seconds to do that really quick we'll give you the time one two three four five you did it and it wasn't that hard it wasn't that painful so thank you so so much okay now we'll get back to the episode my hope and my heart are similar but different they are both that i'm overwhelmed but i'm overwhelmed about different things my hope is that i have been reading my dms on instagram and i've been reading the comments for this podcast and i have been so overwhelmed by the kindness that you guys are all so kind and to one give us your time on Fridays and lend us your ear I'm like what do we have to say that I don't know just the people are giving their time is so such a crazy thought to me and I don't take that lightly and so I just feel so grateful and it's been so fun and I'm excited to like do the book club and do these things to just dive deeper with you guys because I feel like we have like a you know we're broadening and getting to know each other and I'm excited to go deep yeah so i just feel like overwhelmed with like joy and kindness from you guys so thank you for all your comments and calling in and doing everything because we literally wouldn't have a podcast without you guys right so good i feel the same way seriously like it's just i actually was at hobby lobby yesterday and i ran into someone so sweet and her sweet little baby girl shopping at hobby lobby and she was like this this is great this right here is great she's like i love listening to always here and your podcast i've met the first always here listener oh my god or at least introduced herself in that way to me and she was like i'm just so excited i love it and it was it's just so sweet being able to put faces behind this because it's like you know sometimes this feels like okay like this is really fun and like honestly if anything comes this it's fun that we just get this time together every week like just to hang out and chat yeah but then beyond that the fact that there is like a very real community behind it that like means so much to me and I have like online communities I'm a part of too that just if you that that's a really special thing and it's really cool that we get to like actually experience that in this day and age where it feels like there's a lot of online chatter but we can like you said go deeper like that too so anyway it's it's just like it's a responsibility that we neither of us take lightly and we just are so grateful for totally just shouting back what you said but feel the same way Caleb had a really good suggestion he said we come up with the name for our listeners and he suggested always homies and maybe we love the caleb's thought process maybe we you guys can leave suggestions in the comments and we all think you think on what we can call our community i honestly like always homies but i don't know if it's on brand no i think that's really i like it okay so maybe we'll we'll reconvene to this conversation at another time but think about it i don't know if i could ever say it with a straight face right no you have to do the hand motion yeah we get a my heart or do you want to do your hope and then we can go mine are connected too so you do both okay my heart is that I'm also feeling very overwhelmed and I don't know if this is just a hormone thing or I'm still trying to navigate getting used to being a mother of two just with all the responsibilities that come with that but I feel like it comes in waves some days I feel everything goes really smooth and then other days I'm literally like last week I locked myself out the house twice just a chicken with my head cut off and I don't feel like I can catch up and then it's I like externally I feel like a lot of people come up to me and they say it looks like you're doing great in postpartum and there are things that I am doing really well in that I would say but then other times it's like I feel like outwardly I can show that I'm fine because I don't always express how I'm feeling inside but I literally feel like I'm drowning sometimes and I can't it's like I need to take my shoulders and just drop them um I've been feeling that a lot this week and maybe the last two weeks and I don't even know if it's I wouldn't say it's anxiety because it's not an anxious feeling and I don't even think I'm handling my stress poorly it's just that I'm feeling a lot of stress and I don't always feel stress all the time like that so I don't know if it's just a hormone shift or just outward circumstances or just like still adjusting but I sometimes get frustrated myself because I would think oh I'm four months postpartum I should be past this and yeah i'm still not yeah so that i feel like that's in my heart lately yeah well like you said i wouldn't even know because you handle it so well but thanks i think i think every mom's probably felt that like and i think it's very honest too the way you're like sometimes it feels like i don't feel it at all and everything's great and the next day is like like it's like or how are you even here i think yeah did you want advice on that or no yeah okay just a little further with kids i think the thing that made that overwhelm happened to me the most is when i was trying to combine um like my work with my kids having like those firm boundaries really helped me like drop my shoulders lock in on my work hours lock in on my kid time and obviously that's not always able to happen like dates happen but i felt that way significantly less once and another thing is that a lot of this is just gonna be time i know you said you're like i'm four months postpartum i should feel like i feel like i should have been past it's like no four months is like a unique difficult stage too so it could be a combination of things but having those boundaries with it really really helped yeah and so as much help and also we don't need to feel ashamed for asking for help with people and I have I have to tell myself this too because sometimes I'm like sitting here in my guilt like why can't I just do everything right then if I was a really good mom I could do every single thing it's like actually that's a lie that's a lie we're not we can't do that I think that is part of why I feel frustrated with myself too it's because I do have help I kill pub so much when he's home from work and then my parents literally have my mom comes been coming over every morning and helping and I'm like why do I have help and I still can't get on top of things and I think that's where I'm feeling like I'm like wait what am I supposed to do if I do have help and I'm still behind but maybe it is maybe we should talk after just like what you did for your schedule to help break up the two and you can give me some more practicals of that because it probably is just like a managing my time thing and I'm not I've never been good at that and so then it's just heightened too many tabs your brain is can't have that many tabs I think yeah my brain just feels like mush yeah you're like yeah I can't get it straight no that's very honest thanks for sharing that yeah thanks for advice i always want advice i was like well sometimes you know there's a time and place for it well okay i'm like i just want to get this off my chest no which happens sometimes no no no i want advice um my hope and my heart are also the same thing um but i didn't realize okay so my due date was at the end of february and like now that we're at the end of January everyone that I was pregnant with like that whole journey is like now getting to meet their babies and it's like my hope and my heart too because I'm watching them and I genuinely feel so excited like I just feel giddy for them like the fact that they get to take a fresh baby home and like introduce the baby to their older siblings and like I am just like that is so exciting and that just makes it makes me feel so much joy for them but then also like I do have like so much joy and faith for my future too like this is gonna this is gonna be our reality at some point but at the same time it's really hard because like I think it just like it hit me really hard the other night I just was like sobbing to Matt because it's like you know I think that ever since okay context I had a second trimester loss last September the end of September and the image that I had in my head that I've kind of shared online and other facets before is so I was like running a marathon with all like I had so many friends that were pregnant at the same time and it's like we were all running a marathon and then I just like dropped out like I wasn't there anymore and I think the hard thing I've been grappling with since the loss is like I feel like a part of me split at that point like a part of me went on to continue like this pregnancy and I met our daughter alive and healthy and like she's growing up and like and so I think this this part of my life is like a small part of me still is using those time markers and then this other part of me is like living in reality or it's like I'm not pregnant and I'm not going to meet our baby having that like dissonance is like it's also really hard and complicated and heavy too and I and I anticipated like approaching the due date to be really hard and so I'm like not shocked by this but I still have to live through it and like get through it but I hope that at some point these time markers will stop because it's not serving me like I always want to remember her and like honor her life but I don't want to keep like being like okay at this point I would have been this far along my pregnancy and I just hope that at some point I can be like okay at this point she'd be two years old or this would be like I don't I don't want to continue that um because i don't think that's necessary to like honor her life because it also is like holding me back in a way too but gosh got so heavy in that but like as we're getting there like more and more of those friends are now meeting their babies and it's like it's it's 100 both like hopeful and hard so that's just life and that's like where i'm at and so yeah also i i think a lot of moms also probably know the same feeling like it's not uncommon and like I have the capacity to hold both and so I feel like people like I've said this before like want to protect me from those things and I think that's very sensitive and like kind and thoughtful but also I'm like I I'm fully I'm fully strong enough to carry both and hold both and it's okay and so and I can cry about it and I can still like it's it's like I'm okay so there's that that's just kind of like I think that it just is starting to just get to that really difficult season like where it felt like it got a little bit easier for a little bit there and then now it's like getting difficult again but there's hope so yeah yeah I feel like there are gonna be a lot of waves yeah as it continues yeah and as time goes on yeah I never get tired of hearing you talk about it okay I never get tired you talk about her that's yeah i like i'm grateful when you talk about her because sometimes i want to talk about yeah her in the loss and yeah like i want to see how you're doing but just yeah i like talking to the kids about her in the car too because i'm like i feel like i had the trying to like do that the right amount is so confusing and like today i was like able to talk about her in the car with the kids and i wasn't crying so i wasn't like emotional dumping on them but um it felt really good to like talk about her and stuff but yeah and also with matt when i was like freaking out you like talked about her too and i was like that was sweet but yeah oh you know it's just not something that it's not something that should be easy to get over so like the fact that it hurts is because it's it was a hard thing it was a big loss yeah and so yeah i just also want to feel like other moms that are like experiencing like second trimester miscarriage in general yeah it is a big loss and like if you're grieving hard it's because it's it's a really hard thing and it's not supposed to be easy and so in another way i'm like thankful that it's hard you know yes so yeah that was the heavy that was really good talk about something light again that was really good thank you thank you for sharing that thank you yeah i know addie and i both like we love you guys so much thank you yeah and we love baby girl and yeah we're with you and like the sadness yeah sorry you're left with a hard part to transition now no no i like Yeah, I'm trying. I'm like, I just want to see if there anything else came to mind that I want to like ask or talk about with that. Oh, yeah, go for it. Not everyone is willing to talk about a loss like that because it's so heavy and it's so hard. And you being able to talk about it and wanting to talk about it is selfless in a way because then it allows us to step into it and not be a little nervous to bring up that topic. I feel like you've opened it with open arms to be able to talk about her and remember her and coming into this month knowing that it's going to be a hard one and allowing us into that because we're grieving with you because we loved her so much too. And so knowing that you're opening us to come in and help you and walk with you through that during this hard season is, I appreciate that. It's an honor. It is an honor. Thank you. That's well said, Addy. do you feel like there are things that you're doing that have helped you process those emotions or like when you do see our friends having babies and like i don't know is there anything that you've done you're like this was really helpful honestly i i feel like the thing about like my friends having babies is not i don't have that personal attachment that i maybe would have even anticipated myself but certainly like what other people anticipate for me for me it's just like our my journey just feels so separate and it just feels like does that make sense yeah like but um what really helps is honestly seeing like healthy pregnancies like i told matt i was like i literally cannot ever imagine getting a big belly like and having a baby i can't i can't picture having a newborn like i like i like that picture just got ripped out of my head i've done it twice like and And I just, but it just felt so impossible. So I imagine if I had had a miscarriage before having my boys like really losing like a picture for what this could look like And so having really close like honestly sisters of mine like walk through that and have such positive experience that is in itself is really healing yeah and it really positive for me now i don't i'm not speaking for everyone that's experienced like miscarriage or loss because i can also see like because it is also hard but that in itself is really like that i find so much hope in like so much redemption and so i don't know and also it's just like when i was sad and wanted to cry about it i just did so i don't think that and i think that's the other thing not judging my own feelings about it because there's a lot of really like there's some really ugly emotions that come up and i'm like i just like i feel like it's just like matt or in therapy i like bring it up i'm like this thing i know and also acknowledging like that's not a thought that i want to have sure and like we can that was something that i'm like i don't think we talk about a lot like you can take your thoughts captive like you can change your thoughts you can acknowledge a thought that you have and be like yeah i thought this i don't want to think like this this isn't healthy this isn't this isn't good this isn't pleasing and so like whenever i had those like first of all being honest with myself like okay you had this like dark dark negative just honestly evil thought like turning that around actively like that has been helpful and i think that can take like journaling is helpful like to slow it down and to like rewrite that but also yeah like i'm in therapy and that is like honestly a topic a lot of the time that like i want to talk about honestly just trying to picture a different a different outcome like while still on like thinking of ways to like honor this life like hold both I'm kind of rambling at this point no those are really good it really feels good to see my friends like have their babies and like that the last thing I want is for anyone else close to me to walk through this like that is the last thing I want and so seeing in real life in real time this happening and having such a positive outcome in itself is just I gained so much hope from that totally yeah it's a visual representation of it can it does this is not the the always certainty right this will not happen every time like there's a possibility that there's a great possibility that like we will have healthy babies yes yes and it's that reminder that this is just this is not your only reality right yeah right there's there's future hope and yeah i think that's good taking every thought captive it's hard practice but yeah when you do it voice those those crazy thoughts and you work through them process through them yeah i felt like i was just like a more or less a victim of my totally like i was like oh they're gonna come and like i can't do anything about it yeah but it's like that's not the case it's really good advice thank you yeah because it's so easy i think too when you think things that are hard or evil it's easy to sit on them and think oh i can't tell anyone this because it's kind of embarrassing that that's i thought that but sitting on those thoughts doesn't help yourself or anybody it's best to to share them yeah and move through them that's really good Thanks for sharing that. 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Should we transition to Whoa, That's Crazy? Let's do it. Okay. Wow, that's crazy. Wow, that's crazy. That's crazy. Haley and Justin Bieber, have you heard about this? I know who they are. Okay. Perfect. Give zero context. You heard about this? I've heard about the Beavers. They're suing a TikToker. They sent her a cease and desist for defamation. Whoa. Yes, it's gotten pretty nasty. It's very hot topic online these days. Whoa. Yeah. So the girl Jules Thies is her name. She has her master's in psychology, I believe. And so she has a platform where she talks a lot about she points out abusive, toxic characteristics that she sees in dating and relationships. And she talks a lot about the tolerant codependent. And she made a video saying that a tolerant codependent. Now, I have a lot of thoughts about about her content. I don't agree with a lot of it, but she. OK, I'm not going to get into that yet. I think I'm glad that we're getting the context. I want to say something like, yes, we need to get the context. We have a lot of context. And she has videos where she says that she believes most women in long term marriages are tolerant codependents and get the short end of the stick. She said in her video. She says most. This is in a different video I watched. Well, she said most long-term relationships that we romanticize and congratulate only work because the woman is tolerant and codependent. And what she means by that is tolerates mediocrity, abuse, doing the majority of domestic and emotional labor in exchange for being in a relationship. And then she said there's no better example than Haley Bieber and Justin Bieber, who she claimed because he is an addict, he an addict means you're an abuser so she said a lot of things in that video that were pretty bold claims and this is where it gets a little sticky is hailey bieber accidentally reposted the video yeah yeah that's a shocker one it's a shock and so then she went online kaylee was like i never posted the video i never posted the video but there's a there is so people are maybe seeing that as like a plea for help i don't i think people are just like she kind of then was saying that she didn't and people have a lot of proof that she did their last screenshots of saying like hayley reposted which i will say on tiktok it's so easy to accidentally repost things so easy yeah but now she's she's standing firm in that she didn't repost it and then it's kind of like well there's a lot of pictures of that you did so i think it's just interesting that she saw it and then she sent the the cease and desist letter to this girl for defamation her mission and she said this a lot on her page because i went through her videos is that she wants to educate women and have them get help them get out of toxic and abusive relationships and this is her viewpoint she she does say a lot that she kind of built herself up from the ground up she had a very hard past she's been in abusive relationships in the past so this is her that's her viewpoint is that this is really common it's like toxic and abusive hard marriages and relationships so knowing that that's her viewpoint it's like okay you've been in these situations And you obviously want to help them and get out. But I am like, girl, absolutely. What you said is defamation. And so I'll have you watch the video so then you can kind of have a little more. OK. Let me start by saying I would be amazed if the Beavers won this case just because I know that the standard, if you are considered a public figure, the standard for defamation, because, you know, we have we have free speech. you're allowed to talk about people but if you're a public figure you're allowed to talk about them in a different way than say like someone that hasn't chosen to be public facing interesting like you can talk that you can actually pretty much say just about anything even if you can prove that what they said was completely false i'm saying this from a little bit of personal experience potentially even if you can literally prove that that is false say for instance i got an example for you say someone was like this video they made this amount of money on like well that's pretty clearly a black and white fact we can prove that in court we did not we that's not true doesn't matter it actually doesn't matter at all if you can like literally go and even show receipts of like this is actually a downright lie it does not matter so i i doubt that they win this but honestly i think that it's i think that they're winning in a way by trying to fight it you know what i mean yeah i i was gonna ask about that because when is the line of when do you feel like you stand up to someone that is maybe bullying or like being mean and when do you not like what is the line because i feel like i always take the angle of just don't acknowledge the hate but because she did accidentally repost it i feel like she did have to acknowledge it so i don't know what is your thoughts on like addressing some of this stuff you think that's a win i think them choosing to do that is very like i admire that yeah i think it's brave i think it's brave and i think it's i mean i'm not speaking on there i don't actually know anything about their marriage but also i would say that that tiktoker also does not know i don't know anything about their marriage either and everyone that she's all the couples that she is mentioning she does not actually know even if someone has like shared so much about their marriage you still have to know like we have to have this grounding like feet on the ground we actually don't know their marriage me and you we spend a lot of time talking about our marriage intimately we live very close we spend a lot of time together i'm around you and your husband a lot i still have to acknowledge there's i don't know what it's like in your household totally same i do think it poses an interesting topic and this is something that i feel pretty passionately about is that when as women and as men we have free will and when we're dating we need to be extremely picky about who we choose to marry yeah you are yoking your life with somebody and nobody is a perfect person i think also like a lot of her commentary lacks grace and like her saying that only the husband is flawed and like not the wife like we're both Caleb and I are both extremely flawed people and we choose to be forgiving we choose to be encouraging and of course there's going to be compromise in a marriage now there's not compromise of values boundaries respect but they're obviously like Caleb hates when I'm late and it makes him really upset and so every week when I'm late for church he says hey I'm that hurts like I'm upset that we're late and he brings it forward and we talk about it but like i just i feel like when we're dating and we're choosing to marry we have to be very picky because the things that you see in marriage or in dating and the red flags that you see or even like the little things that you see are just going to amplify in marriage so you have to decide is this an a problem that i'm willing to put up with for the rest of my life in marriage caleb knew when we were dating that i was extremely unorganized that i was bad at time management it's gotten way worse as we've gotten married was he okay with picking that problem yes and you know vice versa he has things so it's like i that's always my like cry to young women and young adult women when you're in the dating phase it's like i do believe that like there are very unhealthy marriages there are bad people in all these things you know um and so my warning is like when we have the chance don't ignore the red flags i don't know that's always my like cry i think that's a really good that's that's a really good call out when she just kind of throws these words around and I'm like there is an aspect of marriage that's beautiful and it's called commitment and it's really important I choose to love Caleb every day he chooses to love me every day and he is choosing to commit to me despite my flaws and that's really important and that's that gives a lot of safety and it's like I can be myself I can express the hard parts of my life to him and he knows the darkest parts of me and he still chooses to love me that is marriage that is that's beautiful that's grace and so i'm not gonna like hold those things above him he doesn't hold those things over my head and vice versa and i think sometimes when we hear these things online um people are really quick to be like get out get out get out get out get out get out get out and it's like well there's an aspect of when you're married you're committed and you can't just run at the first sign of like one hard thing i don't know that's my viewpoint yeah i do think that the call to be careful about what you consume is also a really good call out because like even just like seeing a couple of those videos it's like oh that just makes me like i feel like a part of me is like angry oh is that angry like is that like what's wrong like let me find out what's wrong with what we're doing like in what ways is she right about like this and it's like that plant seeds yeah and that's not actually something that is based in truth and also just not even it's not it's not serving any part like i don't know i i would just say yeah what's gonna make you like fall more in love with your husband what's gonna make you love your life more and your circumstances more i'm sure there are people i don't know also about his drug situation that does kind of like change it for me as well but she did say as a fact that he is an addict she said it as a fact that he is an addict and that all addicts are abusive partners she said an addictive partner is always an abusive partner i could see how i don't actually disagree no i don't necessarily disagree but calling him an addict without proof that he is an addict yeah unfair yeah you bet i mean an addiction is very serious and it affects everyone in your house so that's not even like i agree eddie yeah but it's um he has admitted to being an addict in the past but to say now that he currently is is a bull claim what i think is interesting from that video and then we can we can move forward is she really only touched on them at the very beginning to kind of get the clicks and then she actually spoke more on the ozzy osborne and sherry osborne and dack shepherd and kristen bell like he she's talked about that's where they got me more actually let me just say there is a culture that is just going to always despise marriage and they're always going to despise a couple that is thriving and loves each other and like is normal like have normal marriage problems like they're just going to they're just going to despise that and it's just not going to be me yeah let's be careful to make assumptions about other people yes and also i think it would be very honorable if you built a platform where you were the main character i think that would just be a really honorable thing to do yeah what did jordan and they call them the talking heads on tiktok talking heads talking heads um well we're talking about healthy marriages obviously yeah so let's move on to um i'm trying to segue our healthiest year yet healthy slash healthy habits slash how we beat the winter scaries okay yes you guys were telling me about the winter scaries i've experienced them every year of my life i never really quite had i had the man vocabulary for this they're called yeah i love that this is something i love about gen z they have the catchiest names for things the winter scaries yes that's a good term you know it's when the holidays die down it's late into deep winter you're feeling maybe ugly you're feeling bored you're stir crazy in the house you just need to feel refreshed yeah so we thought it'd be fun to write down our tips or things that we do to try to remove ourselves from the winter scaries or maybe i need to put some of these in i as well i was like thinking this i'm like this is a great idea have i actually done this The answer is I have, but not all on the same day. Inspo. It's inspo time. It's inspo. Okay, do you want to start with your first one? My first one is hobbies. Cool girls have hobbies. Wow. That's what I'm saying. And I really want to have some more hobbies going on. I really admire people that have niche hobbies, but I also think that this is like a really fun thing to do because a lot of hobbies you can do inside your house if you're stuck inside. but like i mean heck i've been seeing people crocheting and embroidering that's a crafty hobby so cute we could i'm myself i'm making sourdough i'm considering that a hobby i love eating your sourdough that's my hobby it's so fun bring some pretzel bites back please bring the pretzel back again but you guys weren't here actually um i will make some more but yeah the sourdough hobby i'm talking like okay i actually thought about this one mahjong oh my brother's online my instinct is that we're not i'm not i'm gonna talk about myself my instinct is i'm not classy enough to play mahjong i watch mahjong lives on tiktok what is it like it's like a it's a game you play with tile pieces yeah to be honest i don't know because i actually have mahjong apps on my phone that i play and i feel like mahjong is the tiles and there are different games you can play within the tiles oh okay but i think there might be like a mahjong gang a game yeah probably get like an actual game itself but then you can use those tiles to do other things okay so i don't actually know is what i'm saying well i was like maybe one day when i'm classy i will do that one but other games we can call that a hobby yeah like i just think that i don't know something fun to do that's like it's kind of silly yeah it's not necessary we're just doing it because we enjoy it and we can do it inside we can look forward to that i don't know i need more hobbies yeah does reading count as a hobby yes i was actually gonna say that was one of my hobbies that for sure counts heck coloring painting i was gonna make an at date where they have like how to draw like Disney characters on YouTube and I was like I think that would be fun if Matt and I pulled up a YouTube video we both like had to draw it and show each other I just know that is Matt's personal like he's so down to do anything but I just know that and he would do it yes I just know that he wouldn't really it wouldn't be fun for him yeah because I took him to a painting date one time and he like always talks about it he's like that was for you i love that you love that caleb's low-key good at art and when he was in art class in high school he did a self a portrait of carrie underwood and we had that portrait for a couple years and i was like can we leave carrie underwood why are we bringing her from apartment to apartment i'm so proud of that what do you think puzzles puzzles hobby great i've never seen you do a puzzle i haven't done that many because i think i would lose like one piece and i'd be so mad yeah you need a dedicated but i really do want to do puzzles when i don't have toddlers running around and like a dog that would eat it um i think that's a great example of a good one you have a baby you could i have two big dogs that knock it over yeah it's hard when you true um comment down below hobby ideas and if i should get into embroidery because i've been thinking about it and i honestly think i'd have a lot of fun but i also think my nails would pose an issue no you have a machine unless you're talking about like needlepoint embroidery yeah needlepoint oh you want to do needlepoint i don't know because i do want to keep my hands busy like i want to do something i mean paint by number i'll do that maybe that's our next instead of book club we started needlepoint cloth i like i matt always tells me he's like what when you're older you're gonna knit i'm like you're so right of course i'm going to i used to be obsessed with finger weaving as a kid oh my gosh i made a scarf one time i was on an airplane and the stewardess was finger weaving and i was that just brought me back you're like yes yes so comment down niche hobbies we can do. Not even niche. Those are niche. What are you going to say? I would say, I was going to say I don't ever want to get into sewing or doing anything in that area. Oh, I love sewing. In that area. Needle knitting. Yeah. Yeah. Doesn't pique my interest, but it could pique others. You'll find other good ones. You'll find other good hobbies. I want to get into it. I would have to do it and watch something. Oh, yeah. I want to do something where I don't have to watch, like reading, because then I'm not watching something. Oh. My brain doesn't need additional things. Your guys' house always has the TV on. always it's and what is it always on sports yeah that's on my house was growing up okay my first one is an everything shower often oh yeah everything shower often because when you're inside the last thing you want to be is inside and have bad hair you know what i mean when i feel ugly it's usually because my hair is bad and shave your legs shaving my legs you're gonna wear pants shaving my mustache shaving my armpits and painting my toenails just doing all the like the grooming things that it's so easy to put off in the winter when i'm inside and in the winter yeah and it's like okay if i feel bad on myself if i wash my hair more often and i can style it i feel a little bit better that's a good one yeah the hair does make a difference and i always neglect it today is the first day i blue dry my hair in maybe two months oh wow yeah it looks amazing thank you i was gonna say your hair looks really good thank you i think it's because i blue dry it is that what it is blue dry it um no no i blew it that's that's something with that you're not gonna get away saying something wrong yeah or with blake what did i say i mean i knew capacity i say capacity it's capacity yeah i say capacity every time and blake calls me out and i get mad every time my mom always says documentary and honestly i don't blame her for it it's not like okay what's your second one okay well i think we can share in this one this is also piggybacking off the every shower same time tan tan tan tan your face i'm telling you when i am feeling like there's just a certain feeling that will arise in the depths of my stomach and and i'm like what's wrong everything feels wrong and then i'm like wait i'm just so pale and then i tan and here's my thing about self tan i don't care if it looks good no i don't care if it looks natural sure i don't care if my hands are orange i don't care if past that i don't even do my back actually i was tanning the other day and matt goes matt goes do you want me to do the back and i was like no i don't see it it's none of my business the back of my head is none of my business the back of my My whole backside. My whole backside. Hey, none of my business. It's not for me. And it doesn't matter. That's the thing. This is such bad advice, but I mean. I think it's good advice. It doesn't matter if it looks good. No. You will feel so much bad. Because you know what? You go, I'm alive. I just feel like so. And also when I'm self-tan, I feel like I already just have like a jump start in my day. Because it already looks like I have a little bit of makeup on. Totally. Like I just, I feel like I want to show my legs. i want those to be seen i'm gonna wear shorts yeah i'm gonna even if it's cold like it's just something about it it's it's it's one of those external things that just like seeps into your skin into your psyche for sure it's like it gets in my head and i'm like i'm amazing today is great tanning my face single-handedly got me through my first three months of postpartum now listen i did have allergic reactions every time i used it and i still used it everything comes with a cost Everything comes at a cost. And I was like, that's a cost I'm willing to have. I'm willing to have hives on my neck to feel alive. I respect that. Thank you. I respect that. Beauty is pain. You just have to know. I mean, here's the thing. It's not for everybody, but if you haven't tried it and you just start feeling like everything's just a little bit bad. Oh. Then tan. Tan. And everything will be better. Oh, it's a quick turnaround. It's a quick turnaround. It's an instant boost. Instant. Honestly, it doesn't. I don't even have to rinse it off before. I'm already like. No. i use those isle of paradise drops in the face lotion you don't have to rinse anything it just in your moisturizer put it on you're a good deal okay my second one this is an activity um purging my closet that's a great that that is a really it makes me feel light it makes me feel fresh and it gives me a little piece of excitement because now i get to fill it with things i actually need and are fun and serve me better so when i am like okay i'm bored in the house what am i gonna do i'm feeling in a slump i start purging that's a good one thank you get rid of the stuff that you're like if i didn't wear it in the past year it's gone i have a rule i give myself two two consecutive seasons so if i don't wear something for two consecutive winters then i donate it if i don't wear something two consecutive summers because sometimes there's just that's true maybe there just wasn't an occasion or maybe you were pregnant yeah maybe i've been pregnant postpartum so it just didn't fit so there's if i give myself two seasons and if i didn't touch it i donate it and it just feels really like you're clearing your mental space it just is very healing i need to do that i know it's such a good feeling and it's honestly fun once you get in there and you can start trying things on and then you start having fun in your closet and that is such a hobby of mine i love going in and making new outfits with the clothes that i already have and it just is it's honestly a dream day that's good that's good that'll feel make you feel refreshed yes i I don't really actually have anything to add on to that. I love that one. I need to do it personally. I'm getting to the point where I'm ready for my next purge. It needs to happen for me. Want me to come help you? Yeah, we'll do each other. That'd be fun. I need to go because I like literally just grab what's on the top every time. And I'm like, well, I like it and I wear it a lot. But I'm like, I'm not really making use of. Right. Because I'm like, I don't fit in that right now or I don't fit in that. And I'm like, let's just get rid of it. I know. Let's just it's gone. Totally. um okay this one is really applicable to me personally when i lived in a colder climate now i have to say we are coming from a place of privilege right now we actually live in arizona having glorious time right now it's very sunny here every day it's actually still pretty warm when you like if you are in the direct sunlight yeah it's like 75 you could get warm it's important it's amazing it's great um but this really applied to me when i was living in missouri go to a heated workout and because you probably haven't sweat in a minute like sweat a lot and something about sweating a lot if you go to like a heated yoga you will it's like a lizard shedding their outer skin oh you're so right like it is just like oh i just need to just sweat a ton and you're just kind of like jog back into place and you need to be really hot yeah also you're you need to be really hot uh-huh and so we could still do it here i feel like it could still work but it's really, really hits the spot if you're in like a cold climate. And then when you walk out and you're soaking wet and you hit that cold, it just, oh, the electricity that goes through your bones. It's like, I just had really hot. I'm soaking wet and now I'm frigid. Oh, that's like a cold plunge. Cold plunge sauna combo. Exactly. That will get your circulation moving. That will send a shark. That will send a shock through your brainwaves. It will actually restart your heart. You will die and then it will come back to life. No, but I do think that it is a good thing to kind of, you know, kick you out of some type of funk. And also, in general, this could also just work if you go do like a really hard workout. Totally. Just get a lot of sweat out. Release some endorphins. Release all the, I don't know, I'm thinking about all the things from the holidays. Just get it out. Get it out. You'll feel great. Okay, I feel like my number three kind of piggybacks off of my number two of purging the closet. it pick a day and i'm gonna go to the mall by myself i'm either gonna go to the mall or i'm gonna go thrifting alone and i'm just gonna meander i'm gonna look at all the beautiful things and maybe i won't buy anything but that alone time slowly carousing the aisles looking at things getting and feeling inspired getting out of the house but still inside oh it rejuvenates me i love going to the mall by myself with no time limit just perusing you don't agree You don't like going alone? I don't like going alone. I actually really don't like going to the mall that way. Oh. It's honestly, it's been revived in me in the last two years. It's the fashion in you. You like that. I just remember as a kid. You get creativity from that. I do. Yeah. When I was a kid, I remember I would wake up and I'd be like, I have to go to the mall today. Like, I would just have this feeling in my bones. I just am dying. And the only thing that would make me feel good is if I'd go to the mall. And I wouldn't buy anything. I would just walk around. I had like $12 to my name. I'd be in eighth grade. And I begged my mom to take me to the mall. And I would just look at all the pretty things. And it was just so inspiring and fun. Yeah. And it's just get out of the house. You're walking. You're moving. That's where you got it. You just got to get out of your house. You got to get out of the house. Yeah. In the mall or go thrifting is such a fun. That's a good idea. Yeah. I think thrifting is a hobby of mine. Yeah. That's fun. That's a good one. Yes. I do like to go shopping. But sometimes I'm like, I don't know if that would. Yeah. Sometimes. Shopping drains me. It does not give me life. My mom knows this too. she's like okay how many minutes do you have until you're like i'm done i'm like okay i have two stores uh-huh and a snack break you have to get lunch yeah you have to you have to have lunch it'd be really fun if i went shopping like with you guys like that would be really fun oh you guys would be great because i don't have fashion at all not it's nowhere in my bones really i think it was like cute not a single ounce we'll go we'll go to mall though fun i love shopping with you guys um that's a good one okay this is a big title for it but i'm i promise there's like a purpose for it i called it this one service okay so i think sometimes when i'm in a little bit of a funk i'm like abby all you done is sat here and thought about yourself oh you're just sitting here thinking about everything everything about yourself and it's pretty incredible how just you know shifting that mindset to okay let me think about other people in my life now this can be like your friend your mom your sister or you could even do bigger and think of like you know if you want to go and like do service at a like non-profit organization like charity something like that i think both have a place here but like even if you're just like you know my friend is in the hospital and they're like i can't go visit them right now but it'd be really fun if i just like sent them a care package and like spending that time to do something like a little creative and a little thoughtful for someone else it's kind of just like you kind of get out of your own little pity party like this pity party is not doing anything for me it's just getting me deeper in this hole but like thinking about someone else and like what you can do and also you can have fun with it and you're not doing it for yourself because you're you're genuinely doing this as a gift for somebody else your time whatever you're giving them like it is for the other person but in turn it's like a little cycle here yeah you're also reminded okay this world there's more people in it than me i can think bigger than myself and my own like small problems or this like little funk i'm in i feel like that's also a really good thing to just kind of like yes redirect those thoughts yes that's a good one abby really good one well i think it's really fun too like we were like oh like i'm putting together a care package for someone and i'm like that is so fun like i'm like genuinely looking forward to like thinking about the things that i'm gonna put in there and like yeah and so i'm like that's actually just like a really fun thing to do and also you don't even feel like spending money on something like that you're kind of just like it's for someone else it's so much easier to do yeah totally i probably wouldn't buy like these fun things and like go ham on a random day for myself but it's really fun to do it for somebody totally i like making cookies and bringing them to the neighbors yeah you're good about that it's just it's so easy and it's fun and yeah it just helps you get out and you go talk to your neighbors and you see how they're doing and you check in and it's just like an easy way to get past you're right yourself yeah i love that one thank you great one abs i i feel like now mine are kind of dumb i feel like i was thinking through what are my winter scariest my personal self so like the shower and then i'm like okay i want my body to feel good i want my home to feel good and then i want to like my environment to feel good so that's I'm deep cleaning my house. Yeah. I am washing the sheets. I'm washing the pillows. I'm washing the blankets on the couch. I'm scrubbing the baseboards. I am, you know, anything that needs to be deep cleaned. You getting the grout too? No, not that one. Okay. I was going to ask. First of all, I don't clean my baseboards. I actually never. Someone was telling me they were like, talk about baseboards. I was like, did you look at, I'm like, don't look at mine. Ever look at my baseboards. well i've actually looked at yours and yours are clean oh yeah good yes the house is new enough that it hasn't collected no um but well here's my other question what we were just talking about this i was talking about this with an already group of people how often do you wash your sheets a weekly okay yeah me too yes well it didn't used to be that way when i was in college i was a little nasty little piggy i maybe wash my sheets twice a semester but i also didn't know that i was like oh i'm supposed to clean this me too i actually never cleaned i maybe cleaned my apartment once a semester okay you're really clean now i know you know why i wasn't really that clean when we lived in our apartments even when we were married caleb likes things tidy because he's type a so i learned how to like pick up my stuff and not be such a slob but when we bought our house was when i actually learned how to clean because i felt ownership for the first time over my space and i wanted it to feel clean and now i enjoy it i used to hate it also getting the right tools to clean your house makes a big difference like getting a good vacuum actually doesn't make vacuuming horrible steam things have you seen those um like the spin brushes or like the steam things that goes across the like the corners of your house and stuff yeah you just put water in it but it's hot so it sanitizes i want to get one of those too and i want to get the spin brush that's cool isn't that fun yeah what do you even use that for you're like your shower the corners that's let me be honest i have a very clean house don't go in my shower i don't like that type of you're going in there to get clean yeah i don't clean like that i do the tidying blake does the cleaning yeah he just has i don't it doesn't bother me it should it didn't bother me until i had a house that i owned because i feel like when it's like oh this is my own money i want this to be nice it feels different than when i was renting i was like whatever yeah that's great advice though because like in the winter you're spending a lot of time inside it's like let's make this peaceful environment a place of peace yeah that's a good one thank you i i need to do that okay this is my last one which also i'm like abby you say this all the time we're sick of hearing it make plans i'm sorry this is the only way i knew how to cope as a child so i would get really in a slump um i shouldn't say this is the one my parents they're amazing they gave me a lot of skills but this was like the main go-to and it's in it's like so ingrained in me so like I would get so down after I like I was a theater kid so if a show ended I was used to every day for hours going after straight after school for rehearsals and then spending time with those same people every single day and like I loved everything about it and so when it would end I was just like shocked to just like go home after school and I was in such a slump so my mom's like we gotta just think of like we have to get a plan like so before the show would even end she would make sure we like had a plan for like something to look forward to in the future so this is a great opportunity let's make some plans let's look ahead okay maybe we can't do this right now but let's get something on the calendar for like when springtime comes like let's do this let's peruse travel destinations maybe we're not going to go there but like let's consider it let's you know like we said look at Airbnb look at look at well wouldn't it be fun if we went to x y and z let's just get some stuff on the calendar even if it's small but just like let's let's just keep moving forward let's look to the future let's just get get something to be excited about down the line and I feel like it makes those like seasons that feel a little slower it's like it's not forever yeah we've got all these things coming up to look forward to that exciting so true it like that excitement you gotta you gotta reignite the buzz yeah and i want to be excited like i want the anticipation uh it so good and planning something too like that is fun like planning a trip is so exciting that what i like about you abby it like we should make this plan you like okay let's do it right now we talked about taking the trip to fly stuff she's like okay here's the airbnb everyone down no one wanted to get it they're like i don't even know what you're talking about i'm like we just talked about it we booked it we did book it can we talk about your budget abby to talk about it abby i came in the other day and she goes i'm playing a hibachi night and i go that's so fun do you want me to bring our black stone and in my head i pictured you behind a black stone grill cooking up with the hat going hey you like doing the thing and honestly i told her i was like true but she said i just started wheezing when you said you can bring i can bring my black cells like i really thought you were doing it that's that's like the confusion i had when abby asked if we wanted to have if you didn't care if we had the shower together and i'm like i don't i like to shower by myself this is what abby sent me i made it on chat gbt this could be my new hobby honestly it's perfect for me a little entertainment aspect I need a cookie. I need a cookie. Make a little onion tree. I love it. Get the little boy peeing to take it off. Yes, it's so fun. You go, hey, catch it in your mouth. Just shoot a little soy sauce into the mouth. Literally. Is it offensive if I do it? I don't know. We'll ask the people. We'll ask the people. We have to get behind the Blackstone at the party. I think if you acknowledge it's cultural appropriation, that's all we need. Just acknowledgement. But it'd be so fun. I think that would be a blast. I really thought you were planning a themed night where you were going to do that. I love that you thought that. Like, Abby's just going to do that. Well, that'll be fun. Be that alone. I'm so excited that I have plans for that. Me too. I'm really looking forward to it. I'm very looking forward to it. I've had so many people be like, I'm so excited for the hibachi night. Also, I had a couple of friends that were really confused. They're like, is it someone's birthday? What's the occasion? I was like, ah, it's Valentine's Day. Fun. Bring your spouse. Oh, my gosh. Like, yeah. So it's such a fun. We should have a talent show. What are we going to do? We should actually have a talent show. We can harmonize. We should have a family night that it's just everyone. It's a talent show family night. That'd be fun. I think Sadie Robertson's family does that. And I think for like Christmas, at Christmas time, I think they do a talent show or something like that. That's fun. We should save these ideas for our girls night episode. yeah okay okay my last one this is this is i'm gonna go to trader joe's and i'm gonna buy all the fun snacks yeah i'm getting all the fun new things i'm getting a bunch of desserts and i'm gonna fill my kitchen with just new and exciting culinary treats yeah yeah that gives me a zest for life that gives me a zest that gives me i have a funk i'm gonna make a new dinner i'm gonna look up recipes on tiktok and we're gonna go to trader joe's and just have ourselves a time that's fun like i've done that as a date night before we go yeah you go you get appetizer you get the meal you get the dessert perfect so fun so fun oh yeah that's a good one that inspired me and then they ask you they're like you have any plans for tonight you're like this was our day and they're like with the grocery store i'm like yeah i'm so excited about it i agree i always have a chatty time at trader joe's do you like that i like when my cashier chats with me some people hate that Oh. I hear people like, that's my worst nightmare when the cashier talks to me. I'm like, please, please break the silence. Maybe they're in a social job. Maybe they're not like home with toddlers a lot. Maybe. You're like, dee-doo-da-da. Like, you're like, I want English and like adult. Did I ever tell you about the time I went to Walmart and I was really pregnant and the cashier was like 7 o'clock at night. I was buying a carton of ice cream. That's all I bought. And the guy looks at me and he goes, you got any fun plans tonight? And I go, I'm just going to go home and eat my ice cream with my husband. He goes, and make a baby. and I go maybe have a baby. What? I remember you telling that story. I honestly was like so taken aback. I think he had word vomit. I don't think that's what he meant to say but that one was awkward. That's an awkward one. And they started telling me about his investments and I said sir that actually sounds like a bad one. Did you say that? No. That is so funny. yeah i had good i have had really good conversations with people in the line at walmart in fact actually one time i had a really great conversation with this like 80 year old woman who was buying a lot of yarn so she was in her hobby era cute we love her and i feel inspired by her she bought so much yarn but none of her credit cards were working we had already like had such a good conversation oh dang i bought her yarn that's sweet you have to at that point she was literally like trying to find a way i'm like ma'am this makes me so happy that you got yarn now forward yarn ain't cheap by the way no it's not it's not every time grandma sharon um Caleb and Matt's grandma so our kids great grandma she makes quilts for all the kids and she started for us yeah she makes all these fun things I love it and I love that she's in a quilting club and like that's honestly goals cute I know one day it's so sweet one day I honestly thought about should we start a scrapbooking club but then I'm like even the thought of printing pictures is already just like a hard stop for me why does printing getting pictures printed at Walgreens feel like such a like a high hard mental task it's so simple they print within an hour you go pick it up but it just feels like a lot i just feel like it's impossible i know the thought of scrapbooking just like yeah my mom used to do it with her friends and so it's like that sounds cute and fun but yeah printing pictures printing pictures is a hard stop for me that was our last one that's great hopefully you guys are finding yourself not too deep in the winter scaries but if you got inspired from this episode, tell us what you do to get out of the winter series. Please. Honestly, I could still use some suggestions. Yeah, maybe these weren't even applicable because we live in the summer. We live in the desert now. Yeah. I'm like, is this out of touch? But I think it's good. No. I thought you had some good ideas. January still is January. It's January. February is still February. Totally. All right. Should we get into some voicemails? Let's do it. Ask, ask, ask Abby. Bye, Abby. I was wondering what your advice is on feeling like you're being judged on your parenting thanks bye I guess I would wonder by who like your friends your parents oh it's so hard because it does feel very vulnerable to be it's like as a parent we're just really just trying to figure things out as we go and none of us know and no one is an expert so then to feel judged on your decisions does probably feel really hard um and it's hard to feel confident in our decisions too because i it's like we don't always know yeah yeah say it with your chest and question yourself in private i like that do you know what i mean like if someone you're with someone and their question just be like that's what we do that's how we're doing it we're gonna try it this way and then when you're at home with your husband be like should we be doing it like this yeah no i think that's really great advice but yeah i don't think don't question it in front of other people just be like oh yeah that's what we do you don't always have to open the door for opinions when you're also trying to figure it out yourself right i think that's great advice okay yeah i think that i think opening the door for opinions is really important because i think that sometimes it's like maybe you unintentionally i'm not trying to blame you because i don't even know what the situation happens but i just am speaking from personal experience there's been times where i'm like I'm a little bit frustrated at the feedback I got but I also asked for it maybe I didn't think I was asking for it a moment but me bringing this up in that context was kind of just like hey come on in like it was inviting it so just be careful too I think that's a great advice like just say with your chest I love the I love the phrase that's what we do that's how we do it yeah and also I think yeah I think your I think confidence is contagious I also think calm is contagious like if you're just like not super reactive and just not just like i don't know let it roll off and i think that most of the things aren't as big of a deal but um yeah also consider who the feedback is from if you're like someone it's like do i admire them as a parent if the answer is no then it's obvious you just ignore it yeah it's just like you just let it go ah thanks yeah but it is hard if it's coming from someone like someone you really respect like maybe your own parent i could see that being like a much more difficult thing but obviously ultimately comes down to you and your spouse like for sure you're the ones who made this baby you gotta you gotta make those decisions and raising it together so agreed um yeah i think that's really good advice i feel like there's something that i i feel like when i'm online this is just this is kind of a little bit of a different but i um i was gonna talk to you about this i feel like when i'm online i don't i try to avoid like parenting stuff because in my head i'm like if i haven't seen the results of these people's kids oh yeah take their advice sometimes i don't know not that i want to talk to you about this but just like no that's a good point this conversation we're on this like parenting pod we're not we're parenting podcast yeah that's a little right in the apple but sometimes i see things online i'm like oh that's a good tip it's like i want to take things with grains of salt but then i'm like wait these people online i have no idea if their kids are even if they even have a relationship with their kids also i fully believe every kid is so different even between like my own two kids I feel like I parent them a little bit differently each of them and so it's like okay yeah maybe someone is like thinking that's not the best decision that you can make also they have a totally different kid than your kid and so um I think you can have so much confidence in knowing like you are the person that was chosen to raise your specific kid yeah and I think that should empower you you can give you like a unique confidence because it's like yeah I mean I'm constantly re-evaluating like was do I think like that's a good that's a good check to have in yourself like what is this should we continue this way should we kind of redirect in this way make these adjustments here and there um that's a good thing to have like that those like check-ins but also like i just personally feel so much confidence and like i was given griffin i was given augie because i am meant to be like their mom and therefore like no one else is really like as equipped to be griffin and augie's mom as i am so i just feel like that is that also makes it easier to just like kind of sift through the feedback totally that's good hi guys my name is mira and i was wondering what is something that really matters to you when you're a teenager that doesn't really matter to you to this day thanks guys bye i got a bad advice one my grades oh yeah oh that's a bad advice okay it's bad advice but i gotta just say it because i also know that a teenager could be listening to this that was in my position where you would literally do anything to just make sure that you got an a in everything and i gotta say i don't feel particularly like that was worth the cost sure like stressing yourself to the point of exhaustion to get an A. Yeah. And a B is just as great. I got one B my entire life and it was in high school. That's amazing. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. I'm not no one cares now. I'm as an adult. You that was the most praise I've gotten for it. No, it's really not. No, no one knows. No one cares. But like I was like so and I like tried to be casual about it. Like I don't care what I was. I never got to be. I got one B and it was my sophomore year of high school in one quarter. like i'm talking through college like i was very studious i guess and and i here's the thing i don't know how much i retained of all that i was just very very concerned about getting like that grade and you know what i don't even need a degree for what i'm doing right now this is bad advice i will say your discipline that you practice throughout those years has benefited you greatly in your life thank you thank you so i don't know yeah maybe it's like the grade isn't great but the discipline that you learned was very important that is that is a good yes i do think that discipline has served me well it has served you really there are certain times where i'm like though that was not worth the stress sure but yeah yeah i feel like when i came to grades i was i always naturally without studying would get a b so i was fine with just getting a b and i would get the occasional c and i would get the occasional a and i was like i'm crushing it i just i was i honestly regret not taking school more seriously at times like i kind of just coasted off of my natural abilities when if I actually applied myself I probably would have gotten more A's and I maybe would have remembered it more okay my what is something that I thought about that I cared a lot about in high school that I don't think matters I honestly just think like the social scene of high school and I think I really I've talked about this before I really want to be a part of the party and then you get out of high school and you're like wait there's so many amazing people in the world that I get to be friends with that I get to meet at different opportunities i feel like when you're in school and you're with the same people every day your world feels so small and the drama and the thing like the gossip it feels so big because it is it is all consuming of your life in that season but then you graduate and you never see those people again and i'm not even saying that as like a good or bad thing it's just a fact like you just never see those people again and then your your your world is opened up so much after you graduate and I think that was perspective that I needed I want to give a disclaimer on what you just said actually because I was given that advice was that you're never going to see the people from high school again those things don't really matter things like that so I took that very literally and was like we're not going to be friends after high school so why invest in this I feel really bad about that and like I want to apologize to those friends because I'm not friends with them And guess what? They're all still friends. Because people were telling me that. And I really took it to heart. I was like, I guess I'm not going to be friends with these people anymore. Why invest my time into that? So disclaimer, you don't have to just like cut people off when you graduate. Oh my gosh, I love that you took that so black and white. I really did. That's a good disclaimer. And that's really sweet that you apologize. Love you guys. Yeah, that's sweet. If you're watching. There is that aspect. I mean, yeah, I guess just more so like the drama and things. Is there going to be a better clarification? Hey, first of all, I just wanted to say I love y'all's podcast. Y'all are so sweet and super down to earth. And it's just exciting to see you guys stepping into this new role. So anyway, I just wanted to ask, what is y'all's favorite meal to make this time of year? I'm in Tennessee, so it's really cold right now for the time being. And just give me like your favorite recipes, like warm comfort food, but also healthy. thank you bye guys she's so cute oh my gosh i wish i had a southern accent i know that was a really sweet message honestly when i hear a southern accent i just feel like i'm getting a hug yes that was and thank you for your encouragement um everyone say with me on three one two three soup soup oh we were together pot roast two those are all good both are stellar i have specifically this half-baked harvest soup recipe it's delicious let me look yeah you got me on that too it's a creamy chicken yokey soup creamy chicken yokey soup it is not even that creamy so don't be just don't be deterred by that it's unbelievable good so flavor so warm cozy it's let's link that we will link it um pot roast is honestly it's just a hearty one that sticks to your bones but you feel good when you eat it totally also i thought of i made this like healthier hamburger helper that i've kind of like addicted to it's definitely something you really want to only eat in the warmer months is what i'm saying it's just a comfort meal yeah and um you can sneak some veggies in there it's actually pretty tasty i like your chicken wild rice soup recipe it's good chili of course chili's good oh i've been making a lot of beef and broccoli lately it's very cozy actually because it kind of gets thick with the cornstarch and you know you're getting your veggies your carb and your protein there you go and it's really easy to make and it's flavorful and i love that right now chicken pot pie right now is a go-to val taught me her easy recipe oh lasagna soup we've had a few friends make that oh add it to your list i can't because matt doesn't like ricotta i bet there's ricotta in it i don't think you would know okay i'll sneak it in yeah i don't think you would know okay good you can actually just put on top as a topping so you don't have to he doesn't have to add it homeboy has no idea how much cheese he eats i know i love he hates cheese matt says he hates cheese but he eats quite a bit of it unknowingly um okay well thank you for asking recipes in just seriously from the bottom of my heart just hearing your voices it's just so rewarding and it's so cool and just thank you for those of you calling can you shout out the phone number so if anyone wants to call in yes with any fun goofy question or a serious one yes 602-456-9690 that's the phone number to give us a call i'll say it one more time 602-456-9690 i think it'd be fun too if we read a review close up the podcast with a review okay this is from brie she rated us five stars thank you brie i love this podcast so much i look forward to listening every week you leave feeling inspired and ready to take on life love how genuine y'all are with some emojis thank you that's so nice thank you for the review thanks guys okay make sure you comment like subscribe all the things join the book club join the book club make some pot roast i don't know okay well thank you and remember we're always here you