Summary
Host Alioast explores the biblical and spiritual approach to handling betrayal, emphasizing forgiveness, prayer, and dying to self rather than retaliation. The episode discusses how Christians should respond to being hurt or backstabbed, drawing parallels to Jesus's example and teachings on compassion, humility, and trusting God as the ultimate judge.
Insights
- Forgiveness is not a one-time event but an ongoing practice requiring repeated surrender and prayer, especially when bitterness resurfaces
- True healing from betrayal comes through Jesus and the Holy Spirit, not through revenge, validation-seeking, or controlling the narrative
- Distinguishing between gossip for validation versus seeking wise counsel is critical—heart posture determines whether sharing is biblical or sinful
- Betrayal is a sanctifying opportunity to become more Christ-like by practicing humility, compassion, and unconditional forgiveness
- Praying for those who hurt you is the most powerful tool for achieving genuine forgiveness and breaking the bondage of bitterness
Trends
Growing emphasis on mental health and spiritual wellness integration in faith-based contentIncreased focus on emotional honesty and vulnerability in Christian teaching versus traditional shame-based approachesRising interest in biblical counseling and discernment practices for navigating relational traumaShift toward viewing betrayal and hurt as spiritual growth opportunities rather than purely negative experiencesGrowing recognition of the connection between unforgiveness and physical/mental health burden
Topics
Biblical forgiveness and reconciliationHandling betrayal and heartbreakChristian response to injusticePrayer as spiritual healing toolDying to self and ego deathGossip versus wise counselCompassion and empathy developmentTrusting God as judge and defenderBitterness and resentment bondageHeart posture and spiritual discernmentRevenge versus blessing othersPeter's denial of Jesus as biblical exampleHumility in faith practiceHoly Spirit empowerment for forgivenessSpiritual accountability and consequences
Companies
Upside
Cashback rewards app for gas, groceries, and dining; sponsor offering promo code 'on ice' for 25 cents per gallon
Glorify
Christian daily devotional app providing fresh content and courses; sponsor offering annual access for $29.99
NOCD
OCD treatment provider offering virtual ERP therapy; sponsor discussing religious OCD and specialized mental health s...
Microsoft
Microsoft 365 Copilot AI assistant mentioned in outro ad for productivity tools in Word, Excel, and PowerPoint
People
Peter
Jesus's disciple used as biblical example of betrayal—denied Jesus three times despite claiming unwavering loyalty
David
Psalmist referenced for expressing desire to bless those who wanted him dead, illustrating biblical struggle with for...
Jesus
Central figure throughout episode as the ultimate example of forgiveness, humility, and handling betrayal without ret...
Quotes
"Unforgiveness is like drinking poison expecting for it to actually kill the other person but it just kills you"
Alioast•Closing remarks
"The only reason they were capable of hurting me is because of their own hurt. The only reason that they were able to sin against me is because of the ways that they've been sin against"
Alioast•Mid-episode
"Everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all"
Alioast (citing Luke 8:17)•Scripture reference
"We can't freely receive from Jesus and not also freely give. We can't take on all the perks of the crucifixion death and resurrection of Jesus without also walking out the gospel"
Alioast•Closing teaching
"My initial reaction when I am deeply hurt by somebody is that I want them to know how much they have deeply hurt me"
Alioast•Early episode
Full Transcript
Hello everybody. Welcome to another episode of Christ with Coffee on Ice. I am your host, Alioast. It is a joy and honor to be here with you guys today. Thank you for having me. Thank you for letting me host you today. Happy Friday everybody. I hope that you guys are all having a beautiful day and have had an incredible week so far. Really excited for today's episode. I just know that this is a topic that a lot of us could relate to. I think that this is a topic that I'd be shocked if this isn't something that you've felt in your life. I don't know if we've ever actually taken a deep dive into this topic before. I feel like maybe we've skimmed over this topic or we've talked about this in a perspective and through the lens of forgiveness, which is great. We will probably still incorporate forgiveness in this topic today. But I want to talk about betrayal, being betrayed, being backstabbed, being heartbroken. I mean the word is betrayal that I was feeling for today. Talking about that, talking about the realness of what that means, what it can feel like, what it looks like, and then also how we are called to react and move forward after being betrayed and after being hurt or taken advantage of backstabbed, whatever that looks like, and how we're supposed to move forward as Christians and what is biblical and what the Lord actually tells us to do when betrayal happens. Because the truth of the matter is that this is a very real thing that happens in life. It's definitely a painful thing to go through, but it's also nothing that Jesus hadn't had to face or feel himself as he was here on earth. And so we can find comfort in Jesus knowing that he has endured that. He has covered that. He has compassion for you. He has understanding. And also what's even more encouraging about it is that he is the example when it comes to anything, right? Is like however Jesus handled certain things is the way that we want to, right? Jesus is the example he's are shepherd. He is the one leading us. And I can advocate and say that I have definitely felt this multiple times in my life, where I trusted somebody and I trusted maybe the things that they said versus what actually ended up happening. I have had to face that plenty of times in my life. And there was a version of me once upon a time that didn't actually really know how to handle betrayal. And what the healthiest way was for me to move forward from being betrayed. And I guess that this topic makes me so emotional. I guess is because there is an aspect of I mean actually like the whole point, like the first thing, the only thing that Jesus really calls us to in our reaction to betrayal is actually to die to ourselves every day. And I might be getting a little too ahead of of it by even bringing like going here right now. But there is a version of me that did not know how to do that. And there's a version of me now that has learned what that means. And it's a whole other level of pain not on top of being betrayed. It's like there's that like layer of betrayal of believing that either a certain person existed that never existed in that person or you just never thought that this person could be capable of the things that they are doing. There's that level of pain. And then there's another like layer to that onion of pain of like being like Jesus in that betrayal. When all you want to do is stand up for yourself to prove why you are not guilty to stand up for yourself to get revenge to pay back that person. Like there's so much evil honestly in our flesh and in our natural instinct when we are hurt is that we just want to hurt the person back. And so there is a level of humility and just like death to self that is birthed out of walking like Jesus through being betrayed. Does that make sense? I've okay, hopefully as we get through this episode it can make more sense if that doesn't. I will just speak for myself and say that my initial reaction when I am deeply hurt by somebody is that I want them to know how much they have deeply hurt me. And I think my initial reaction is to like in not so good terms but this is just like the best way to say it is like I just want to cuss them out. Like I just want to tell that person how much they've hurt me and I want them to see how damaging their actions were and like how that betrayal has truly like caused trauma and trust issues and pain in my heart. Like that is my initial reaction is I want to just either like call the person up type out a major essay being like this is why you suck this is why I'm right and what you did was wrong and I hope you know how painful that was for me and I hope you understand that because of your actions like this is how deeply hurt I am like that is where I want to go without Jesus. I want to choose retaliation. I want to choose I for an I I want to choose will if you hurt me I'm going to let you know how much you hurt me. My reaction without Jesus is prideful. It's like I want you to know how terrible of a human being you were for that and how I am innocent and I was undeserving. But what Jesus teaches us to do instead of retaliation is he challenges us to slow down and stop instead of choosing violence. He says I want you to choose forgiveness. Like instead of your first reaction being retaliation and like handing it back to the person and cussing them out and letting them out know how they did you dirty. He's like I actually want you to forgive first. I want that to be your first reaction. One of the core teachings in the Bible is the call to forgive. Jesus talks about forgiving not just once but 70 times seven times which basically means an unlimited willingness to forgive and I think one of the best ways to get to forgiveness and this might have to be something that you have to like get back to multiple times over and over again is like and I will say I've experienced this where I have truly forgiven somebody in my heart and then like I don't know things creep up in my mind or I start hearing things or seeing things or bitterness and resentment and self-righteousness and pride start to kind of like bubble up in me again where I kind of start to puff my chest and I'm like forgiveness is kind of like leaving the room and I start to get really angry and get those same feelings over again of like this is unfair this is unjust I didn't deserve this and then I have to like get myself back to forgiveness again and forgive the person again in my heart so I say that to say that like this isn't something that is always like a one and done thing I'm not saying that's impossible I actually believe that that can be true where you can truly forgive somebody in your heart and it's like done I've forgiven them I've moved on I've genuinely forgiven them and I think one of the best ways that you can practice forgiveness is by praying for that person and sometimes getting to that place of like actually praying for the person is really hard because all you want to do is be better and say no I'm not praying for that person like they hurt me they betrayed me they back stabbed me they said things about me they cheated on me like whatever that looks like and the last thing you want to do is pray for them and I think praying for them is the thing that like helps you get to true forgiveness in your heart for them but I I've had to pray my way out of bitterness a lot of times where like I can tell that my heart is starting to get hard into towards that person again and I'm starting to have like all these not so nice narratives go on in my mind about this person and I'm not thinking great things about them and I'm like slandering them in my mind even if I'm not saying it out loud because one thing that is definitely not okay is slander on another person like verbally where you're like gossiping about them or saying all these things about them I think one of the most powerful things that you can do when you are betrayed by somebody is to keep your mouth shut which again is like the last thing I want to do initially like my initial response without Jesus is I don't want to shut up I don't want to be quiet I want everyone to know and that person who hurt me that they hurt me so badly but I think one of the best things that you can do and something that Jesus does call us to is to keep our mouths shut and I think in the practice of us keeping our mouths shut is also us telling Jesus that we trust him when he says that he is our advocate he is the one that judges all that he is the one that takes care of things that are just and unjust like he is the judge with a capital J and so when we are choosing to shut our mouths and not slander the person not gossip about them and honestly even if it was the truth like gossip doesn't even always have to be lies like gossip can also be like yeah this is what they did to me and it was awful can you believe it whether it's factual or not it can still be considered slander and also I think the thing about gossip is like the heart posture is typically wanting validation you want comfort you want somebody to feel for you like you want the person to go oh my gosh like you're right that's so not okay that's so unfair you never deserves that like whatever you're see if you're really being honest with yourself what are you looking for in seeking in that moment when you are talking about this person in the way that you are and again it could be totally truthful but I just think that that is a really quick way to determine whether this is the right thing to do or not because if you are doing those things in hopes to seek comfort in hopes to seek validation in hopes to feel like justice is being made in the room because everyone else agrees with you and nobody is on the side of the person that really hurt you that is a crutch and you are seeking things that you will only really be able to be fulfilled in through Jesus by trying to get it through other things like gossiping and like getting validation from other people and being like oh my gosh I'm so sorry for you like that was awful even if it wasn't awful thing that happened to you now don't get me wrong financial resolutions are great but let's be real but it's don't reset on January 1st between post holiday credit card bills and getting back to your regular routine cash can be tight that's why there's upside the free upside app gets you cash back on things like gas groceries and dining the three things that I could probably bet are draining your bank account because they drain mine too there are over 100,000 participating locations which means there are cashback opportunities everywhere you already go and yes it is actual cashback not points that you'll never use or credit that just expires this is money that you transfer straight to your bank account here's how it works you open the app claim and offer pay with your card like normal and get paid that's it I wish I knew about this app so much sooner otherwise I would have actually been utilizing this four things like gas and my groceries and dining because those are things I'm already spending money on so why not also save upside is actually given back one billion dollars to their users and to find out how much you could earn download the free upside app and use promo code on ice to get an extra 25 cents back per gallon on your first tank of gas that's an extra 25 cents back for every gallon on your first tank of gas using promo code on ice one thing that I have learned in my walk with Jesus is that staying connected to God throughout the entirety of my day is a necessity obviously making a habit to spend time with Jesus in the beginning of your days is great but obviously life continues to happen in the rest of our day and so staying rooted in the Lord throughout our days is really important and one way that I do that is through the glorify app glorify is the number one Christian daily devotional app and it's honestly been a study part of my faith routine for a while now there's fresh devotionals new courses content that meets me right where I'm at and honestly points me back to God every time when it's tempting to look everywhere else glorify helps me stay centered and keep God at the heart of my day and it's built for real life that could be like five minutes in the car 10 minutes on a walk so whether you've been walking with Jesus for years or you've just started to explore your faith glorify makes it easier to draw closer to God anytime anywhere if this feels right you should download the glorify app on your phone and help create space for God in your every day listeners to the show can get full access to glorify for just 29.99 for the year that's glorify's lowest price ever download the glorify app now at glorify-app.com slash alley again get full access all year for 29.99 at glorify-app.com slash alley that's glorify-app.com slash alley I will make a disclaimer right now and say this range of betrayal and hurt is a scale right and so there is a difference I just I don't know I'm just gonna disclaim this there is a huge difference between somebody just being a bad person in your life they weren't loyal they were unfaithful they betrayed you they backstabbed you and also somebody who is like actually genuinely dangerous and you need to speak up and tell people about that I hope you guys aren't getting that mixed up it's not like you're just supposed to stay quiet and like not speak up if somebody is actually like a threat to society and a threat to people and so I think heart posture is really important in this and I think having that kind of self-awareness will be important when it does come down to you sharing the very thing that has happened to you I'm not saying that we can't seek discernment or guidance or wisdom from other people in the body in the church it could be an elder it could be a spiritual mom or dad it could be somebody in your life that you do truly trust and you know this person actually wants the best for you and that they're always encouraging you to the feet of Jesus and they're always encouraging you to be like Christ um I think that again heart posture in that and that kind of self-awareness will be so important because if you really are just looking for comfort or validation it's giving gossip like if you don't actually have any plans in your heart to be like okay I need wisdom right now and I need knowledge I need somebody else's perspective because I am feeling so torn and like I'm looking at the scriptures and I'm trying to seek God's voice but I am feeling so stuck on what I'm supposed to be doing moving forward I need counsel like I need wisdom on how to move forward and how I can be more like Jesus in this situation what is the right thing to do I think that's completely okay and totally biblical or if this person is like genuinely a threat to society and they're like a really not not good person then yes of course you're supposed to speak up about that but I guess what I'm trying to emphasize on right now is heart posture like are you just trying to get puffed up by other people and to feel validated and comforted or are you genuinely on a mission to be like okay how can I become more like Jesus in this because it really hurts and I really don't know what to do because I want to do this but I don't know if that's actually what Jesus wants me to do and I think another truth in the matter and all of this is that like obviously we could look at Jesus and be like God how could you ever let something like this happen to me like how could you ever let this kind of betrayal happen to my life why would you even allow this person to be in my life how could you have let it get this far I can't believe how blind I was right if there were red flags at all and now you're kind of seeing it and you're like how was I so blind why didn't you let me see it I really believe that going through something like betrayal going through something like being backstabbed and hurt by somebody is a beautiful opportunity to literally become more like Jesus there is nothing more testing than being betrayed by somebody that you trust like that has to be probably in the top five things in life that you will have to become more like Jesus in and die to yourself every day because for some reason all our flesh wants to do is fight back and show the evidence show the receipts retaliate being like Jesus in a state of betrayal is probably one of the most challenging things that we could go through so instead of retaliation we choose for forgiveness by prayer and praying for that person and saying Jesus everything in my body right now does not want to bless this person and be honest with God there are plenty of times where I've gone to the Lord and I've been like I'm not even going to pretend because you already know it's in my heart anyway so who am I fooling not you I'm not fooling myself either I know it's deep down I know that deep down I don't want the best to happen for this person I know that deep down I'm angry I'm pissed I don't want anything good to happen to them I don't want them to ever be happy again seriously like be like so ugly honest like if those are actual things that are going through your heart in your mind you might as well just get it out there and be honest with God because he already knows it's in there you're not hiding anything from him and honestly there's actually something so like relieving in that like there have been times where I've gone to God and I've been like God I don't want to pray for this person like I feel so hurt by them and in my pride right now I know it's not right I know it's not okay and I don't want to be this person that's why I'm coming to your feet right now and I'm being honest and I'm going to say it out loud so that you can wash me clean up this and you can get this filth out of me because it's evil like that wishing ill on somebody who's hurt you is evil that is not Jesus it's not the love of Jesus that is in our sinful nature okay so we're going to admit to the sinful nature we're going to admit to the ugly icky things that are going through our minds and our hearts about this person and we're going to say God this is gross but like it's true I don't want the best for them right now like I'm mad this is unjust this is unfair I've done nothing but bless them it's the Psalms that we were reading when David was like these people literally want me dead and all I did was pray for them all I did was bless them as if they were my own brothers and sisters like I don't I don't want I don't want the best for them like I did nothing wrong this is so unjust this is so unfair but something that is so healing is admitting that to the Lord and then honestly repenting and being like God I'm so sorry that that's where my heart is at and I'm so sorry that those are real thoughts that I have gone through my mind I need you to renew my mind right now I need your blood I plead the blood of Jesus over my mind and over my heart right now I pray against all bitterness all resentment all revenge all evil that is in my heart right now I pray against it and I plead the blood of Jesus over it God please cleanse my heart renew my heart God get every nasty gunky nasty thing out of my heart right now Lord and make me clean renew me I don't want to be this person so that's step one to forgiveness is like actually admitting what you're feeling and what's going through your mind about this person and then repenting and surrendering it and pleading the blood of Jesus over yourself and saying uh uh I will not be that icky gross version of myself I want to be a Christ like graceful forgiving blessing version of myself which can only be done through the power of the blood power of the Holy Spirit the power of Jesus does the only way that it can be done and then the next step is genuinely praying for that person and and asking God for compassion for them and say okay God I was deeply hurt by this person but it is that cliche of like hurt people hurt people like it is only someone's pain where they are capable of inflicting pain on another person and whether you even know what it could be deeply rooted in or not you're like hey I don't know where that could come from but it's got to come from something like this person is deeply hurting in one way or another maybe you do know maybe you've had a crazy revelation and you're like what I know exactly why they could treat me this way it's because of xyz and then you can have compassion for that person and say you know what I'm going to choose to actually have a heart for this person and believe that the only reason they were capable of hurting me is because of their own hurt the only reason that they were able to sin against me is because of the ways that they've been sin against and so Lord I lift that part of their heart up to you and I ask God that you restore them like please restore those parts of their heart give them peace flood them with your love and your healing you need to lift that person up in prayer because the only reason they were capable of doing that to you is because they are hurting themselves and the minute that you can see that and like honestly I've asked the Lord to give me a lens of his eyes for that person and be like look I've been looking at them through the lens of my own eyes I've been looking at them through the lens of my own hurt and it's gotten me nowhere other than being bitter and feeling resentful and angry at the person and so God if it's challenging for me to get to a place of compassion then I'm going to need your lens I'm going to need to see this person through your eyes otherwise I don't think I'm going to be able to get to that place of genuinely blessing them and forgiving them and praying for them and so God my prayer right now is please help me see this person the way you see them because even in all of that person's sin okay even in all that person's pain and hurt and the ways that they've hurt other people God still is obsessed with them and adores them which like I know it's probably a really hard thing for a lot of us to swallow but the truth is is that all of us are the same that way like whether you could imagine yourself doing that or not maybe you aren't capable of doing the very thing that that person did to you but you sure as heck are capable of doing something else that is painful sinful and dishonest in God's eyes then it's something else but we're all the same okay we're all broken we're all imperfect we all cause pain on one another in one way or another and so yeah maybe you would have never done that to the person but who knows what you would have done you could have done that or this or that over there none of us are exempt of this none of us are better than the other person and yet God still adores you he still adores that person Jesus still died on the cross for them in the same way that he still died on the cross for you and so that's a reality that we have to humble ourselves too when we are humbled at the feet of Jesus and go yeah I was actually no more deserving of your sacrifice Jesus than they were like I am no more important than the other person and if that is something that you really believe in your heart where you're like no I know I'm more important than that person that's scary that's a scary place to be in and honestly it's probably crossed a lot of our minds we're in you know our pride where we're like well I would never do something like that I could never think of doing anything like that you'd be surprised because one of Jesus' most faithful disciples one that walked with him in person in real life physically saw him do healings and bring people back to life and and bring sight back to the blind Peter he was the rock he was like the guy in the group of disciples Jesus was like yeah you're gonna be the rock here Peter I trust you that much but Jesus still did that while also knowing that in the future Peter was gonna betray Jesus and swear three times deny Jesus three times saying I never knew the guy he needed these people to be so convinced that he didn't know Jesus so much so that he cussed he cussed at the people and was like I don't know him I don't know him okay all while just a few moments prior of that Jesus warned Peter and was like listen I know that you're saying you love me and you would die for me and you do anything for me but I want you to know before the rooster crows you will deny me three times Peter couldn't even imagine it Peter was like what do I am in love with you Jesus I love you you're my best friend you're everything you saved my life you are literally the son of God I would never deny you and that's exactly what Peter did so and that's somebody who literally face to face walked with Jesus and Peter was still capable of doing the unthinkable like something he didn't think he could ever do and so again we can't sit here in our pride saying I'd never do that okay Peter already paved that path for us honestly who are we to say that we would never do that to somebody I think it's just because that because we're the victim in that moment and we're the ones in our pride that we are capable of being like I can never because that's so easy to say when you're on the receiving end of being betrayed and hurt by somebody but I don't know if I trust myself enough to say that I wouldn't hurt somebody the same way maybe not in that exact way but I could I could totally hurt somebody just as badly just maybe in a different way so I am no better than this person do thoughts like did I really mean that prayer or what if God's disappointed in me replay over and over in your head or do you keep worrying that you're not believing hard enough that every unwanted thought might be blasphemy or that you've somehow lost your salvation and no matter how many times you pray, read or repent you can't shake the anxiety experiences like that can be signs of religious OCD and real OCD is nothing like the stereotypes of just wanting everything to be organized it is a serious and highly misunderstood condition where unwanted and distressing thoughts get stuck on your mind in repeat and you feel compelled to engage in certain behaviors to try to make them stop these unwanted thoughts are called intrusive thoughts they're often disturbing and like feel totally out of character and when OCD goes after your beliefs it can leave you feeling guilty scared and even disconnected from God but of course there is hope OCD is highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy ERP therapy or exposure and response prevention no CD is the world's leading provider for OCD treatment and all of their licensed therapists truly understand OCD and specialize in ERP therapy therapy with no CD is 100% virtual and covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans and even includes support between sessions so you're never facing OCD alone to learn more about starting OCD therapy with no CD go to no CD dot com and book a free call to learn more about how they can help you that's no CD dot com humility and compassion which are only things that we can get through Jesus like true humility and true compassion are things that we can only get from God and that is the secret remedy of getting to a place of true forgiveness and being able to pray for that person and pray that in the ways that they are hurting and because of the ways they could hurt you God I pray that those very things are the things that you heal them in help them Lord they need you and the minute that you access that is the minute that you actually receive full peace again because the truth is is that when you are betrayed by somebody and hurt by somebody it is a real weight to carry of bitterness resentment anger revengeous thoughts like those are heavy weights and burdens to carry which also God doesn't want you to carry in his says in his word that his yoke is easy and his burden is light and you know what yoke isn't easy and what burden isn't light is the burden and the yoke of bitterness and unforgiveness it's not light it will literally aid you it'll probably give you wrinkles it'll probably give you bags under your eyes you know it'll probably make you a pretty miserable person you don't walk through life light anymore when you're carrying the weight of bitterness and the anger and so yes there is a aspect of genuinely blessing the other person and hoping that this is a place that God can heal them in but also like freeing yourself of that bondage you know not letting the bondage of other people put you in bondage because the truth is it's like the bondage of other people was the very thing like in that person in their pain in their hurt and whatever it is that's inside of them that Jesus they haven't let God into to heal them in that bondage has now hurt you but don't let that bondage then put you in bondage where now you're carrying resentment and bitterness and anger like don't let the enemy like kill two birds with one stone in that moment you know where it's like he's already got them in bondage don't let him get you to reverse uno that situation and challenge evil with love and say you know what I'm not going to come into agreement with bitterness and resentment because I know that that's only when you put me in bondage I know that that's only going to be a million pounds on my shoulders it's going to make me a miserable person to be around it's going to put dark circles under my eyes no one's going to like being around me anymore because I'm just pessimistic and bitter and all that comes out of my mouth all the time is I can't believe that happened to me I can't believe that person did that to me I honestly can't wait till the day until did it because it also says in scripture that whatever is stored in our hearts is what comes out of our mouths and so if you have bitterness and resentment stored in your heart weighing your shoulders down that's also the only thing that's coming out of your mouth you're a miserable person to be around now no one is having fun around you you're miserable on the outside you're miserable on the inside and so you're going to say no I see what you're trying to do here say in I see what you're trying to do here devil and I'm not going to do that actually I'm going to be repaid evil with blessings and I'm going to surrender this pain believing that when Jesus says in his word that he is the judge he is the one that is just he is our defender he is the one that is going to bring everything to the light that's another script I don't know the scriptures off the top of my head but I'm telling y'all it's in the Bible when it says that everything is brought to the light I won't just tell you I'll bring up the receipts okay this is Luke 8 17 for all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all so pay attention to how you hear to those who listen to my teaching more understanding will be given but for those who are not listening even what they think they understand will be taken away from them okay anyway Luke 8 17 says everything that is concealed will be brought to light and make known to all you have to believe that God is telling the truth in his scripture when he says everything everything not just some things not situationally not just like all well it depends like everything that is concealed meaning everything that was done to you in the dark whether people know about it or not it will be brought to the light and so you are paying evil with blessings by forgiving this person praying for them surrendering the situation and receiving the unconditional love and healing of Jesus to then repair the boo boo's that have been left on your heart from that betrayal and hurt Jesus can do all of that and then what you're going to do to the next exercise that muscle of faith we were just talking about a few weeks ago is trusting that when he says what he says he means what he says that God is not a liar he can't he physically can't lie why why can't God lie because he's perfect and he's sinless he's perfect he's the only thing that's actually perfect it's God he can't lie lying as a sin you know who is the master and author of lies the devil there's always an opposite so the opposite of the author of liars who is the devil is God who is the author of truth he can only tell the truth so his word is honest and his word says that everything that is done in the dark everything that is concealed will be revealed in the light and who's going to do that who's responsible for that God so another thing to remember in this is like we're going to humble ourselves also by staying in our place and letting God be in his position of God and not try to control the narrative of like but I'm in charge of revealing it to the light no you're not no you're not you are not in charge of that that is God's role he says it in his word that he will be the one to reveal everything your job is to be like Christ through the process of that and being like Christ is not retaliating but it's forgiving blessing the person surrendering the situation and then letting the Holy Spirit heal you because there's nothing else that's going to heal you it doesn't matter how much you could speak up doesn't matter how much you can control the narrative it doesn't matter how much you show the receipts and bring things to the light yourself which God never told you to do you were never supposed to play God and do it yourself those things are not actually going to heal you revenge cussing the person out is not going to heal you what's going to heal you is being at the feet of Jesus and letting him speak to you and say honey I am so sorry that this has happened to you and I want you to know that I'm not okay with this I'm not okay with the ways that you were hurt and the thing is is like yeah God can be obsessed and love the other person but another thing that he makes very clear in his word is that he holds each and every one of us accountable for our actions let the fear of the Lord fall on you when it comes to your actions like hearing that it's not even just about like yeah well the Lord will judge you the Lord will also judge you the Lord is also judging us and so let us walk in a way that we know would make the Lord proud believing that when he says I judge everybody fairly and justly on their actions so saying okay God I trust you when you say that you are a just God and you don't like what was done to me you're not in support of that and I believe that you have a plan to make this right to straighten these paths the Lord will handle that situation the Lord will handle that person and he will also handle you he will also comfort you he will also heal you overcoming betrayal the only way to truly overcome that is by needing Jesus and Jesus alone he's the only thing that will get you out of that Romans 1219 reads do not take revenge my dear friends but leave room for God's wrath for it is written it is mine to avenge I will repay says the Lord this emphasizes that vengeance isn't our job our role is to trust God with the outcome Matthew 544 reads love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you this is a challenging but transformative principle instead of focusing on how to pay someone back we focus on lifting them up in prayer which can also bring us healing Romans 1218 encourages us if it is possible as far as it depends on you live at peace with everyone sometimes reconciliation is achievable and sometimes it isn't but the call is to strive for peace rather than escalate conflict Ephesians 431 through 32 reads get rid of all bitterness rage and anger and instead be kind and compassionate forgiving each other justice God forgive us this shifts the focus from dwelling on the betrayal to releasing it and finding freedom in compassion and again this isn't like an overnight thing I think that betrayal is something that we will be practicing to overcome with the Lord over and over again depending on what it looks like it is a pruning sanctifying and humbling process to forgive somebody who honestly in your eyes don't deserve forgiveness but that is when we really need to remember the truth of the gospel of like we didn't either Jesus honestly didn't deserve to die on the cross he didn't he didn't have to he should enough we didn't deserve his forgiveness with the ways that we have sinned against him taken matters into our own hands flat out resisted him partaken in blasphemy like mocked his name mocked his word we don't deserve forgiveness and so it really is that scripture of like as freely that we receive we should freely give and so the ways that we have freely received God's forgiveness at no price that we had to give it was actually in the price of Jesus giving his life like he took on that debt we have no right to not forgive other people we have to like if you've received the forgiveness and the grace of Jesus if you believe that he died on the cross for you and you have received that freedom through him you don't have any right to just take that and not also freely give that same forgiveness and grace to other people like if we're going to take that from Jesus we also are signing up for and I will also die to myself the same way that you died for me on the cross I will resist my flesh the same way that you did Jesus like you picked up your cross and carried it for me and so I'm going to pick up my cross and carry it for that other person we can't freely receive from Jesus and not also freely give we can't take on all the perks of the crucifixion death and resurrection of Jesus without also walking out the gospel he did that not only to free us from our sins but so that we could also be an example of that same grace towards other people and so betrayal is just another opportunity to do that and I think making it less about the betrayal and less about what that person had it's done to you and more about what you can do in the situation and how you can move forward with grace and forgiveness and healing that should be what's in focus more than what that person did to you or like how they're now moving forward after doing that to you and if there was a specific person who came to your mind in this episode or a situation or maybe a group of people I would challenge you that after this episode you sit in a place with Jesus where there is no distractions and you could either journal you could speak out loud to him but like however that works for you with Jesus however you could process with him but I really would encourage you to practice all the things that we talked about today so like getting alone with Jesus voicing out all the ways that you know that you've still been bitter towards this person and pleading the blood of Jesus over your mind in your heart and asking him to take away any callous hardened parts of your heart towards that person for him to take it away and replace it with a heart of flesh that you actually have a soft and compassionate heart towards this person repent to him for that and then genuinely pray for the person and then call on the Holy Spirit to heal you and say Jesus I need your healing please be near to me it says in his word that he is near he is close to the broken hearted and so if you are broken hearted he is near call on him and he will come for you I also would love to just end this episode in prayer for you guys I'd love to just pray for you and lift you up that if there has been a burden of unforgiveness and bitterness because of a way that you've been betrayed or hurt by somebody I just pray for freedom for you that it's not something that you have to carry anymore from this moment on like literally after this moment on you will not be carrying the burden and the weight of unforgiveness and resentment anymore because the truth is it's like when we carry bitterness and resentment it feels like it's like yeah that's what they deserve like they don't deserve my forgiveness they don't deserve for me to have like peace in my heart about them what do you mean there's a quote that I've seen online that says something along the lines of like unforgiveness is like drinking poison expecting for it to actually kill the other person but it just kills you like the poison of bitterness and unforgiveness in your heart you think by drinking that it's gonna put it actually you're just killing yourself you're hurting yourself you're burdening yourself you're putting yourself in bondage and it doesn't actually do what we think it does to the other person and so Jesus I lived up my friend on the other end of this podcast right now Lord I'm so honored Father I ask for the comfort of your Holy Spirit to consume wherever they're at God I pray that your spirit fills the space that they're in it fills their heart God I pray that they can actually tangibly feel your love and compassion Lord I pray that they feel the way that you are angered for them that this isn't something that you're okay with what was done to them is not something that was overlooked by you or was done behind your back in a way that you didn't see like you saw everything God you saw everything you saw what other people didn't see and so Lord I thank you that you're promised to them is that you saw it and you will defend them that there is nothing that slips by you there is nothing that could just get by you that you don't make right God that that is who you are that you make wrong right and you take what was meant for evil and you use it for your good and your glory and so Lord I pray that you do a new thing in my friend's heart today God will you please restore their heart Lord will you bring healing to their heart will you take the calloused hardened parts of their hearts and make it soft and new God to the parts of their hearts that have been bruised and are like turning black I pray that you bring it to a place of health and you make it pink again and it's warm and it's not cold that they don't have to carry the heaviness of bitterness anymore Lord I pray the peace of the Holy Spirit over them a peace that surpasses all understanding God that when we say your peace surpasses all understanding it means that it does not make sense like in the midst of the circumstances in the midst of the betrayal in the midst of the hurt and the pain it actually does not make sense how they have peace I pray that peace over them in the mighty name of Jesus I rebuke all attempts of the enemy to put them in bondage of unforgiveness and bitterness God I pray that you give them the strength to actually repaid evil with blessings that that is what we are called to do as followers of Christ is to bless the ones who hurt us to love our enemies when it is the hardest to forgive the ones who we once called friends who we once called our partners who we once called people we trusted God that those people who hurt us Lord we lift them up we pray for them and we bless them God God I pray for my friend here that you actually make them an even more humble version of themselves an even more graceful version of themselves and even more forgiving version of themselves or that there is always opportunity to become more like you and so I bless them in that way God let them be an example of who you are let them be your hands and feet here on earth as they forgive and love others the same way that you have forgiven and loved us the same way that you forgave and loved Peter that you forgave and loved Judas let us be like you Jesus God I pray healing over them Lord heal and restore their hearts God and I also pray for the person that hurt them to the people that hurt them God restore them Jesus we need you we all need you Lord help us God we can't do anything without you I pray this in the mighty name of Jesus God I plead your blood over my friend in Jesus name amen I love you guys I'm proud of you and what's so appropriate about our outro today this is what we always say but it's especially appropriate today is that before we go we do something cool today can we show somebody how cool Jesus is can we walk more like him talk more like him forgive like Jesus trust our heavenly Father as Jesus did I love you guys have a beautiful weekend have an incredible week and I will see you in the next episode bye 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