Hey Story Pirates podcast listeners, Lee here, coming at you with a very special bonus episode. We'll be back next week with a new one for you, but in the meantime, we've got some D-Cards! And guess what? The Story Pirates are back on tour starting this week. We'll be visiting Munhal, Pennsylvania, Cincinnati, Ohio, Portsmouth, New Hampshire, Medford, Mass, Richfield, Connecticut, and North Adams, Massachusetts. These shows are going to be really amazing, full of musical numbers and improv made from ideas from kids in the audience. Find out more and get your tickets at storypirates.com slash live! Get excited for some of the weirdest and funniest stories from the Story Pirates archives, and this week they're all about SPACE! Coming up right after a few words for the grownups! Welcome back to Story Pirates, D-Cards! Where we celebrate our favorite and weirdest stories from the Story Pirates archives, and today's D-Cards episode is all about space. You know, stories that we get here at Story Pirates have all sorts of awesome settings. You know, where a story takes place. And space is one of the most inspiring settings we get, because, well, for one thing, it's really hard to get there. And for another thing, you gotta be really brave to go there! And best of all, we don't really know everything that's out there. Space is kind of a mystery, so there's lots of room for creativity when you take your characters there. See what I mean with today's first space story? Here's the author to introduce it! Hello, my name is Donovan. I live in Georgia. I'm 13 years old, and this is my story, the Squirrel Astronaut. Oh, I hope that was right. Sorry, I'm sorry. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna go through here. Okay, good morning, crew. I am, of course, Millie, your flight director here at Space Place. And you all know my trusty pet squirrel, Squirrel-io. Hi, Squirrel-io. Squik, squik! To say that today is a momentous day would be an understatement. This mission is probably the most important mission in the history of mankind. Today, we send humans all the way to Jupiter for the very first time! Yay! Good job! Good day. This is more than just a trip to space. For the fate of our world hangs in the balance. We believe that on Jupiter, we will find Martians. That doesn't sound like you care, does it? And we all know that Martians are probably dangerous. So, astronaut, are you ready to save the world? Well, I think so. But you see, I woke up this morning with a bunch of small red dots on me, and they itch. Oh no! It sounds like you have chicken pox! Oh, I don't want to eat it! I don't want to eat it! I don't want to eat it! Don't leave! Oh no! I need to find a replacement astronaut ASAP. I know! I will just call over to the astronaut village. Hello! You have reached the voicemail of Astronaut Village. We can't come to the phone right now because we all have chicken pox! Yay! I got a voicemail! I got a voicemail! I got a voicemail! I got a voicemail! I got a voicemail! What am I going to do? At least I have my pet squirrel by my side to comfort me. Squawk, squawk! Good morning, Milly! Boss! How is everything progressing with that whole flight to Jupiter thing? We have a big problem. All of the astronauts are stuck at home with chicken pox and we have no one to fly to Jupiter. But what about the evil Martians that are probably there? I know! Squawk, squawk! Squarellio, I love you, but now is not the time. Squawk, squawk! Well, what can we do, Milly? It's not like we can just find some random animal to do our mission to Jupiter. Squawk! Hey, boss! It looks like my pet squirrel just escaped its cage and is heading to the training room. Oh, that little rascal! Wait a second. What if we had my squirrel go through the animal astronaut training program? What do you say, boss? Can we give Squarellio a shot? Ugh, I don't see how that squirrel is going to pass all those tests. Not what other choice do we have? Okay, you've got three days. Here we are at the Animal Astronaut Training Program. Let's see what you can do, Squarellio. The first test is lung capacity. And go! Eugh! Wow! You held your breath for ten minutes. You totally passed. Squawk! The second test is eyesight. Repeat the following letters for me. Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! I am not entirely sure what you were saying, but it sounded perfect. Squawk! And now the final test is a game of checkers. Go! Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! Squawk! Squarellio, you did it! Well, well, well. Passing a few tests is one thing. Getting the world is another. And there is no way this Squarell is going to succeed. But again, we are out of options. Let's put this Squarell-sized astronaut suit on. Oh, and of course, this animal translation device, so we can understand it. Why didn't we do this before the training started? No time! Here, let's just put it on like so. Hey! Hey! Okay, now I can talk. How cool! Wow! Squarellio, I can't believe you passed the Animal Astronaut Training Program. Of course I ace the test. I've been here as your pet for a super long time, so I know exactly what to do. And Boss, I will prove to you that I am the right astronaut for the job. We'll see. Here, Squarellio. I made a special rocket designed just for your size. Hop in. I'm ready! You can count on me! Okay, let the countdown begin. 10, 9, 8, 12, Catorce. A couple, 4 and a half, 6, 4, 5, 6, 6, BLAST OFF! Woo! Wow, this is so cool! I'm flying into outer space! Okay, now I have the controls, I just need to steer this rocket straight to Jupiter. Now approaching Jupiter. Wow, that was really quick. It must be because the ship is so small. Welcome to Jupiter, where today's weather is a breezy minus 234 degrees Fahrenheit. Oh, good thing I have this squirrel suit to keep me warm. Now I just need to plant all these cameras so everyone on Earth can keep an eye on those evil Martians. Well, that should do it. Wow, the sun has gone down. That must have taken all day. Well it's actually only been 20 minutes. It just looks like a lot of time has passed because Jupiter is the fastest spinning planet in the solar system. Who are you? Where are my manners? Hello, I am a Jupiterian. What? A Jupiterian? Don't you mean a Martian? Really creature, there's no such thing as Martians. That is just an Appetunian family who went to Mars for vacation one time. But no one actually lives on Mars. It's a confusing planet. I see. What's your name? My name is... But you can call me Sam. It's very nice to meet you Sam. My name is Squirrelio and I'm from the planet Earth. Oh, you are our first Earthling visitor. I mean we have been visited by the Mercurians and the Venetians but never by an Earthling. Well this is our first ever trip to Jupiter. I have always wanted to visit Earth. I hear it has a great salad bar. So are you planning to invade Earth? Goodness no. We Jupiterians are very friendly. We wouldn't invade. Wow, the humans got it all wrong. They think you're dangerous for some unexplained reason. Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you come back with me so I can show the Earthlings how kind and friendly you are? Oh, that is a lovely offer and all. But I have to stay here with the family. You see, my daughter has a recital tonight and she would just be devastated if I wasn't there. Has a beautiful voice. Have a safe trip back Squirrelio and visit us any time. Goodbye Sam. Alright, now I just need to jump back into my ship. Retrace my course back to Earth. 10, 9, 8, 14, 78, 1, Lift off! Here I go! Back to Earth! Squirrelio! You're back. Milly, you will never believe what I saw. No need to rehash all that exposition Squirrel. We saw the whole thing on the cameras you installed on Jupiter. Oh, right. I had my doubts about you, but you proved me wrong. So I am taking the Animal Astronaut Training Program out of development and we are going national. Now everyone can bring their pets to space place to be trained as future astronauts. And everyone will live fine with very few incidents. Hi! Hi! Human astronauts, you're back. Yeah, turns out none of us had chicken pox. We were all just scared of those Martians that don't exist. Oh, well then I guess you're fired. That's fair. The end! Welcome back to Story Pirates Deep Cuts, where we've learned that squirrels are a lot smarter than we thought. If only we had a squirrel translator in real life, we could probably solve all sorts of problems. And speaking of animals who solve problems, this next space story features a much bigger animal that does exactly that. Here's the author to introduce it. Hi, my name is Lindsay. I'm 8 years old and I live in New York City. Here's my story. Space Mama. Come on, let's play outside. Yeah! Aw, it's dark outside. Why does the sky have to be so dark at night time? Why does the sky have to be so dark at night time? Ah! It's just me, the town elder. High town elder who knows our town's history and also has information about why the sky is the way it is. Please, elder is fine. And I know the answer to your question. The reason why the sky has to be dark at night time is because of the space llama. Space llama? I'll gather round and I'll tell you the tale of the space llama and the blanket in the sky. Once upon a time, a long, long time ago when there were no humans, there was no night either. Llama Mama was giving birth to a bouncing baby llama. Also it was like 10.30pm and the sun was blazing. Push, honey, push! He's beautiful. What should we name him? Well, there's a name we've both been kicking around. Why don't we say the name together on three? One, two, three. Space llama! Henry Jacobson. Oh. Space llama. I thought when we were saying space llama, it was a joke. Space llama. I hear you. Space llama is just a lot to live up to and I thought maybe we'd go with my father's name. Henry Jacobson the third. It would really mean a lot to me. I just went through 20 hours of llama labor. Space llama it is. Hello there, sweetie. It's me, your Llama Mama. Space llama. You could call me Papa Llama. And this is your cousin who's staying with us while he works some things out. His name is Doug. Sa did. Oh. Quip. Oh, his first spit. Sa did. A few years passed and while things were happy for the Llama family and Doug all was not well. Without a night sky it was too hard for animals to get to sleep. It's too bright to sleep. This is no way for llamas to live. Space llama. Yes, mum. Check on your cousin Doug. Sa. Uh oh, mum. Doug is super sick. Dude. What's he saying? He just said that it's so bright outside that he can't sleep. Oh, Doug puked on my alpaca rug. Sa did. I know what to do. I'll take these knitting needles and this black yarn and make blankets for everyone. And once everyone's nice and comfy they'll get some sleep and they won't be sick anymore. Okay, nitty, nitty, nitty, okay, okay, just like my mum has showed me. Grandma, grandma, grandma, knit one, two, and done. Here you go, Doug. Here's a nice blanket to help you sleep. Sa did. And that's how Space Llama helped out his cousin Doug. Wow, Mr. Elder. That was a really great story. Yeah, I think we're going to go play now. But wait, there's more. There were too many animals who were sick and Space Llama couldn't possibly knit blankets for all of them. I, Space Llama, don't know how to help all the animals here. So I've decided to fulfill my name and build a rocket. I'm so proud of you, honey. Okay, all right, nitty, nitty, nitty, okay, making a rocket just like my grand showed me. All right, and done. What do you all think? That's incredible. Wow. What's it for? I don't know, but I will blast into space in this spaceship. Yes, don't forget your black yarn and your knitting needle, son. Thank you, mother. Going flat to the sky to change the day tonight. So my name with three stage rocket, space flight. Too much sun makes the animals hurt. Knit a black blanket to cover the world. I'll be a Space Llama knitting a blanket in the sky. Go into Space, young Space Llama. Sardid. Sardid. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one. I knit and I knit and I will not stop till I'm done. With needles in your knit one, purl two. I knit a blanket that covers you and you and you and you and you and you and oh. Space Llama knitting a blanket in the sky. So the night sky is a knitted black blanket. My mom got one of those at a craft fair. So that's the end of the story then? No. The job was too, too much for the Space Llama. Space Llama, dim mission control. I made a big blanket, but it's got a ho. Thought I saved the day, but I spoke too soon. What should I call the hoe? So call it the moo-hoo. Hey, what's the water doing? I don't know. The water's moving and the water level on the beach is changing. Sardid, it's like the water level's receding because it's tidying over. Doug came up with tides? Oh, I guess, yeah, it was Doug. And the people loved the tides and they liked having that extra bit of light from the moon. And over time, as the blanket began to sag, smaller holes appeared and those are the stars. Awesome! Space Llama knitting a blanket in the sky. Space Llama knitting a blanket in the sky. Too much sun makes everyone hoe. It's blankets cover the world. Space Llama knitting a blanket in the sky. So, every day, right before night, look for a llama in a spaceship with a big black blanket. Wow! Thanks for that great history lesson, Town Elder. Say, Town Elder, how do you know that story? Well, let's just say, big reveal. I'm Doug from the story. Oh, okay. Alright, well, see you later, I guess. I'm gonna go play in the slot. Ah, alone again. Just Doug and the night sky. Space Llama, wherever you are. Sardid. You're welcome! Oh, hey, are you still up there? Yes, the galaxy continues to expand. My work is never done! Space Llama knitting a blanket in the sky. Space Llama knitting a blanket in the sky. Oh, oh, oh. Space Llama knitting a blanket in the sky. Oh, oh, oh. We'll be back after a few words for the grown-up. Oh, hey, welcome back. We've got time for one more deep quiet. And now let's go to space for more of what I like to think of as a hard sci-fi story, which means it's a space story that's extremely accurate in regards to science and math and stuff. Okay, maybe this isn't exactly hard sci-fi, but how do I know? I've never been to space. Here's the author to introduce it. Hello, this is Blaine and I'm nine years old and I live in Pennsylvania. This is my story, Antibody Man. Virtual log, day 253. Destination, Planet Bacteria 2. I, Captain Max from NASA, and my crew are only hours from arrival. Excuse me, Captain. We are making our final approach to Planet Bacteria 2. Thank you, computer. Lieutenant, take the helm and input the landing zone coordinates. Yes, Captain! Ensign, please establish radio contact with the Planet Side Research Facility. Establishing a connection now. Greetings, Planet Bacteria 2. You're speaking with the lead research scientist? We look forward to your crew's arrival. We're having another beautiful day here on our far out Planet Bacteria 2. Isn't that right, Bob? You said it, boss. Well, I'll leave you and your assistant to it. Great. It's time to look into this microscope. Wow! What a fascinating discovery. What is, boss? This sample has a tiny green amoeba, and it seems to be having an effect on the surrounding cells. How can you tell? I asked. Isn't that right, Bacteria, under my microscope? Oh, you're all not feeling well? Well, don't blame me. I'm just a little amoeba. I'm just down here having an endoblast. Get it? Oh, come on. Are you guys anti-humor or something? Because I'm pro-tazoon. It's not really my kind of humor. Is there a problem? Bob, we need to shrink this amoeba out of existence. You can't treat me like this! Using the shrink ray. But, boss, the last time we used the shrink ray... Here I go! ...we left it in reverse. But the reverse of shrinking is... Growning! This is bad. I'm becoming very sick. Me too, boss. Oops, did I do that? Hurry, Max! And no matter what happens, do not... ...spice-oats! I said do not... You're cutting out. Please repeat. Do you copy? Connection lost. Computer, continue our initial course at Land on Planet Bacteria 2. Now that we've safely landed the spacecraft, we should investigate this research facility. Okay, I'm here. Captain Max from NASA! Your helmet is still on. That means you haven't been exposed? No, I haven't been exposed because I was afraid. Excellent. Now, listen. I know the source of this mysterious illness. It's a tiny amoeba that I may or may not have accidentally big-end to a gigantic size. Big-end? It's a word. I guess it's up to me to find that giant amoeba and save the day. Goodbye, and good luck. Thanks. Here I go! I've been flying around this planet for hours, but I don't see anything. Mab! Amoeba! Wait, there it is. And it's the size of a skyscraper. That can't be right. Where did everybody go? It's like all the humans all eat vac-u-l-ated. A-cha! Amoeba joke. What am I going to do about this amoeba? I'm so scared. Maybe it's time to just accept defeat. Let me stop you there, Captain. Huh? Computer? I have taken the liberty of scanning the area and have located an abandoned spacecraft one kilometer ahead. Wait. Computer, you're capable of independent thought? I never knew. You never bother to ask. Entering new coordinates into Jetpack now. You have arrived at your destination. Scanning the abandoned ship. It is safe. Let's get inside the ship. Hello? Is anyone here? Perhaps a search will yield useful materials. Let's try it. A normal janitor's closet. Ugh. How am I supposed to stop the amoeba? Maybe I can mop it away. Is that a serious suggestion? Okay, well maybe I can use some window cleaner and a squeegee. Pull yourself together, Captain. Oh, maybe I'll just spray it with this amoeba melting spray. Amoeba melting spray? OMG, I totally predicted this favorable outcome. I suddenly feel so powerful that I know I can save the people of planet Bacteria too. Let's get back outside. The amoeba has grown exponentially and we are fully surrounded. That's fine. I'm self assured now. Amoeba, let's end this. End what? You're out of control and making everyone very sick. So I, Max from NASA, am here to stop you. Stop me? Well, you know what? I wish you would. I'm sorry I've taken over. I never wanted to be big. Do you know how hard it is to find enough algae to eat at this size? It's like really hard. Well, maybe we can work something out together. I found this amoeba melting spray in a janitor's closet. Maybe we can use just enough to shrink you back down. It's worth a shot. Alright, hold still. If I just do a little spray here. A little spray there. Oh, I think it's working. Oh, I am definitely shrinking. Oh my gosh, there you go. Woohoo! And stop! Good as new, Clius. I still got it. Toodaloo and thank you, Captain Max from NASA. Bye, amoeba. Thank you, Max from NASA, for saving us all. From this moment forward, Planet Bacteria 2 will be called Planet Max 2. I don't know what to say. Planet Max 2? What happened to the first Planet Max boss? Yes, you don't want to know. The end. Thanks for listening to today's episode. We'll be back next week with another one for you. Until next time, stay creative and stay kind. Bye!
