ACID Flashback: Rick Glassman, Earl Sweatshirt, Pauly Shore, Grace Freud, Nick Rutherford & Maylee Todd

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. What up? It's Eric Andre, and guess what? You're having an acid flashback. That's right, you're flashing back right now to a favorite past episode of Bombing. Today, I've got co-host Nick Rutherford and the very funny comedian Grace Freud. Not that Nick's not funny. They're both funny. It's not a competition. And our guests, who have no idea what they're in for, thanks to Rick Glassman. This guy's on the verge of a heart attack, an aneurysm, and a stroke. comedic biodome wheezing the juice all-star Pauly Shore and one of my favorite rappers Earl Sweatshirt thank you for not suing us into oblivion enjoy the show come on bombing bombing bombing with Eric Andre alright ladies and gentlemen welcome back to bombing the podcast where I talk about bombing Oh, you know our co-host. Nick Rutherford, very funny comedian, yes. And a new co-host. Oh, no way. Yeah, also a Rick and Morty alum. And what else do you wrote? Grace has written on everything. Grace Freud, everybody. Very funny. Yeah, man. Come on, girl. What's up, mama? The tip of my penis is fucked up right now. Oh, shit. Chill us. You gonna fucking slice and dice it? I think I'm gonna be done with it soon. What are you doing? You doing the laser or you doing the knife? My insurance will just cover burning it off. Oh, a burn? We could save you a lot of money today. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll talk about it. Once we get our guests in here, please welcome Earl Sweatshirt, Pauly Shore, and Rick Glassman, everybody. All the guests have to come in because we have a hard hour. Come on. I think you guys booked an extra guest too much. Well, we didn't think you would show. Well, we didn't think you would show, and we didn't think you'd be so critical of producing. I want to make sure it's perfect. It's my first time to be next to everybody. Okay, do you guys know the premise of the show? Yeah, everyone. More or less. Great. That's the spirit. I'm not going to be my best self with this. We're not getting negative here. You're the most uncomfortable, so let's get it off your chest. It's just too close. I hate this. I fucking hate it. Wait, wait. You have claustrophobia? No, I'm just difficult. If you said you weren't going to go into that. You want me to get out, Rick? No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Let the guy speak for himself. Let the guy speak for himself. It's a homophobic thing or what? I just only like girls. Yeah, I get that. You know what I'm saying, Blair? Nick told me some secrets, so he might be good. Well, then they aren't secrets, are they? Yeah. Okay, you seem more intense than Marc Maron. What's going on with you? Do you want to play, Luke? I have a bit of OCD. Hey, spit it out, man. You want to do some poppers? Do you do poppers? This might help you. You want a cough drop? It's good. I just had one. Do some pop. Nick, show them how it's done. I'm not going to show them how it's done. Are you sober? Am I sober right now? No, I mean, you know, when you talk to comedians, 50-50 chance. Eric. They're friends with Eric. Yeah, some of us are best friends with him. You got something in your lower left. Yeah, I got the poppy suit. That's all right. They'll edit that out. It's not about me. All of this is redone with AI later. like none of this matters i'm totally ai i'm not a real person yeah i'm just a generative prism you're burning grace's dick off later i think i'm burning my dick off later you think the burn is the easiest way how do they do it is it like a crematorium like it goes like the dick in the car yeah you but it's like a for me it's three inches long and i just slowly put it No anesthesia No anesthesia Man I don't need anesthesia I don't deserve it I'm not one of God's children That's like some Guantanamo Bay shit I like that I think trans people should be punished Is this like Amo Nitrate Popper? That's an Amo Nitrate Popper What's up May Lee how you doing? Alright Rick Here we go Rick where you from? Where you from Rick? Um, Pelican Bay. Where's that? It's something, I'm from Cleveland, Ohio. Mistake on the lake. Okay. I love Cleveland. That's a friendly crowd. Thank you. Yeah. No, all these people are from Cleveland. And where'd you go to college? Kent State University. There was a shooting there. That's not that funny. There was a shooting there. Okay, let's not be rude. All right, what is going on with this guy? Life of the fucking party. What's going on? No pleasure. Is it because I'm sitting too close? Have you been on public transportation ever? I don't do that anymore. Oh, so you're rich. No, I walk. Nepo Baby. I walk. Okay. I walked here from the valley. Okay. Is that true? Yeah. You know when Moshe's in a bad mood? It's a little bit like... And then what do you do for a living? I just, I do stand-up comedy. Can we see some of your stand-up? Let's go. Now that you're revved up. You don't do crowd work or anything. Let's get a little taste. Yeah. And May Lee can put an EEG helmet on you to test your brainwaves. I don't get it. You don't have to get it. We can tell if you're actually being funny. Check it out. Yeah, thank you. Can you tell him to pick me to do the crowd work with? And you can do the crowd work with Grace. I've never had a comedian pick me. We're going to put a headband on you. May Lee, explain this to our guests. If we could get May Lee a microphone of some sort, it would be a good idea. May Lee. So this is a Muse headband. It reads your five brainwaves, your alpha, delta, theta, gamma, et cetera, et cetera. And then we're going to see what your zone is like. Where are you? In your meditative zone? Are you stressed out? Are you concentrating? Yeah, I'm a little stressed out. I was great in the hallway. Do you have anxiety? Yeah. Do you have obsessive-compulsive thought? I'll do it. You just have to make sure that... Yeah, this is on the front. You got it. Yeah. I'll do it. Yeah, you can do it. You can absolutely do it. And then just make sure that these guys... Rick, how many successful relationships have you been in? Hey, what the fuck? I'm in a situation where I'm a little uncomfortable. I'm pushing through. I know, you're doing great. You're doing great. Cleveland's representing Cleveland. How are you doing? Get off my ass. I don't know what the fuck's going on. I don't think I've ever met you before. We've met several times. That's what I meant. We met several times. I guess I'm not that memorable So I thought And then I saw it was going to be Rick And I'm like oh Rick's my friend And then now it's all of this And I don't know what to fucking do dude Well you thought you were having a hard time Rick's fucking about to He's like Michael Douglas in Falling Down And this gentleman hasn't said anything either Do you know what's going on? No he's fine Oh so you're meant So you're quietly supporting I'm supporting so much I like the EG thing A rapper's going to be quieter than a comic, Pauly Yeah, yeah As far as volume Yeah, so what's going on? Can we read it or something? Okay, so can you talk us through what Rick is going to do? Yeah So right now Mary Right now He doesn't like to be touched Right now You're mildly stressed If we took the couch away You'd still be seating Exactly as is You're having a bit of a blast You know There's a lot of judgment going on in those eyes, I feel So your deltas are about 66 decibels. I'm confused. And your alfas are 92. I understand you could see, there's a lot of data you could see, but the judgment that you're pretending to see from this seems like maybe a projection. Your gamma. So your gamma. It's not just a machine. It's a machine. It's like. Oh, I don't feel, I'm judging anything. This is kind of, this says nothing. Oh, no, no, no, it's fine. Oh, I'm a bulldog. It's you two. Oh, wait, it's just a bunch of colors. It's all weird science from here. And you want to talk us through it? Yes, so you have your gamma, your delta, your alpha, your beta, your gamma waves here. You're concentrating on what's happening right now. I'm present. You're present, yes. Alpha. That's my superpower. Alpha is your relaxation. So when you feel relaxed, your alpha spikes. Can you get him down? Yeah, let me get a single. What if I sat somewhere different? You want a cigarette? Should we go through something relaxing? Do you want to bite my dick off? Yeah, yeah. Mix it up. Yeah, let's mix it up. Sean will help. May Lee, you mind if Sean? Yeah, of course. Get involved. Yeah, should I step out then? How's my alpha now? I work with just auras and calming people down and just, like, getting them chill. So, like, we're just going to... Your delts is spiking. Your alpha's actually going up. So close your eyes. Listen, I'm not much for negating people's games. I just don't want too much physical interaction. Yeah, yeah. You're fine. We're not doing that. We're not doing that. Come on. He's got a treat or something. He's got a treat or something. He's got a treat or something. Crystals. Rick, I love your energy. You two are both. You guys should be a common duo. So, hey, buddy, go away from me. I love what you do. Wait, wait, wait. Rick. Is this okay? Is right here okay? Nope. Rick, a little further. Let's not be rude. You don't tolerate rudeness on this stuff? I'm going to prioritize my boundaries over the perception of how I behave. You can prioritize your boundaries? There's nothing you could do now. You could suck my dick and I'd be out. So I'm done with you. Rick, to show them away like you're Mary Antoinette, it's coming off. She got a bad rap. No one checked her out. I'm just saying they're bugs. But I get it, and I love games, and you're the man. It's just I'm not playing it. Why? Why the hockey temper? Could you explain what that means? What's the worst gig you've ever had? You ever bomb? Buddy, you were there for all of them. Hell, you were my opener. He really didn't set the room up for me well. and I think that's the reason. Good room. We can put the bugs behind you if they're out of sight, out of mind. I feel like they're already behind me and I'd like to keep it that way. We could put them in amber. Marie Antoinette's alphas, talk on them. I refuse. The way you reacted to the bugs is the way I'm reacting to that question. Now, do you want to tell us the worst bomb you've ever had? You're a storyteller. Have you been here the whole time? Let's see what else. Now, were you really acting anxious as a shtick, or were you actually anxious at the top of the thing? I can't tell if you're doing a bit. I can't tell if you're doing a bit. I appreciate that. The most anxious I was was probably not knowing what you guys are doing with some of... Is that an arachnoid? Yeah, that's one of the arachnoids. Did somebody just wake up? Did somebody just wake up? We'll get to... I know you're... Why don't we get to Molly for a minute? No, I'm just taking... You want to say, okay, Paul. No, I'm just taking this whole thing in. We'll get to Earl. I didn't know what the fuck I was getting into, so I'm just trying to digest the whole thing. This is it. There's nothing complex. It's pretty fucking complex. It's just called bombing with Eric Andre. You just say. There's a lot of stuff going on here. There's a lot. There's 70 people over there. There's 70. Those are the lawyers. I didn't know there's going to be a studio audience. Well, well. I think he needs to do a rap. I think we need to break it up with a rap. Can you just do some napkin? You gotta pay him. He's a very successful rapper. Earl promised me he wouldn't rap. Earl promised me he wouldn't rap. I will fucking leave. I will rock out. I will rock out if we do that. It's a religious thing. It's hedging. Here we go. Let's go. Can I ask a question? Pauly? Can't do it. This is good. This is good. I hope it never stops. You can unplug it, maybe. There we go. What are the rules here? Are we on the wheeze the juice? You can wheeze the juice. Inwe's a juice. Very popular term that you coined. Just tell me about the worst gig you ever had. And then we can all go home. I bomb. You're getting all cut out. Wait, is it coming? Let me help us get back on track. Pauly? Yes, ma'am. What is the worst time that you ever did stand-up comedy ever? Yeah, what's the harshest gig you ever had? And it can be an acting gig. It doesn't have to be stand-up, but stand-ups are the most. There's a lot. We been here for a while Tell us one of them Give us a highlight Oh God Give us a guy bottle at me I was at Gotham in New York First of all, what year did you start? That doesn't sound like a real call to me. I started doing stand-up in the late 80s. 89? No, like 86, 87. 86. The weasel, baby. Baby weasel, yeah. So we're talking 40 years almost. Yeah, almost 40 years. Today, actually. I'm not mistaken. you got big hands can I have that name from now on can I be the weasel from now on I don't mind being touched if it's with intentions that I trust what happened to you well you should wait till you hear about it I was on stage in 1970 good room okay Rick you've been a little bit of a bad boy and we have a dominatrix whenever the guests are rude you have to be what OCD This is our local dom She punishes bad boys Some of the bad boys Well you have great teeth Thank you He's trying to butter you up You're toast brother It was a retainer joke We will get to your story Well would you like a little nollie paddling To No He hasn't liked anything since he sat down on this couch He doesn't like a single thing I think he likes my smile Would you like to be paddled or Pauly, would you like to be paddled? I'm good right now. I'm looking for my wife. That'll help. Yeah, yeah. Do you, what are you doing here? Later. Oh, I see. Just a little smack. I'm just like tired. Just like tired. We're going to go to Astros in a little bit. It'll be better then. Grace? We'll volunteer. I can say with confidence that we're not going to air this episode. So we can all. All right. Where are you going? You can't leave us. Where are you going? Grace has been a bad girl. Where are you going, Sierra? I understand. This is just paddle between friends. Yeah. What's a little paddle between friends? Now, have you been paddled before, Grace? I've been paddled today. Really? Really. There we go. Are you into BDSM? Are you into being tied up, bonded sadomasochism? I'm kind of into just the hyper-rubatoid arthritis, and this is kind of the only thing that works. Wow, now I'm turned on. Now I'm rock hard. There you go. Are you farting? Yeah. I just shit my pants. Maybe. That's how you can tell it's working. I shit my pants yesterday for the first time in years. Really? Here we go. That's what the podcast is about. That's what the podcast is about. Make sure you're not blocking this gentleman's angle. What was it? I was walking in and I got caught. And humiliated. Can we humiliate you emotionally, Grace? Wait a minute. You're only on the ground so you don't block my shot. I feel responsible for that. I can stand. Tell us about the shit. You were telling your poop story. I coughed. I just was walking my dog and I coughed. I didn't even think I... You were drunk? You need some anal training, honey, so you get that tightened up. I can fix that for you. You were drunk, huh? I don't drink, and I've been saying the same thing for weeks. How long have you not drank for? I would start drinking. I'm not sober. I'm just... I don't know. I have maybe one drink every other month. You like pot? Okay, that's freaky. He does smoke a lot of pot, yeah. Never done it. What'd you eat? Okay, so what happened? You coughed, you're walking your dog, you're smoking poo. You're high as a kite, you just did dabs. No, I was a kite, you're complaining about everything. You're popping a lot of pills. It's a school day. Did you enjoy yourself? You're the Edgar Allan Poe of comedy. You're J-Locking. Well, you're Chris Christy said I'm rich. You're a Nepo, baby. You're walking around. Poe. I was afternoon walking my dog. I wasn't high, I wasn't drinking. Are you married? No. What'd you eat? Did you pick up after yourself? It didn't hit the ground Just filled your pants It stayed in the pants I held it I showered right away and I washed my clothes right away Did you throw out the underwoods? No I would throw them out Did you laugh? Did you just go directly in the washing machine? That's funny You ever shit your pants Pauly? Did you enjoy it or were you like fuck? I thought it was funny I was more relieved when I looked to see it wasn't going down my legs Was it during the Northern Lights? Probably. I was about to ask that question. Valid question. Took the words out of my mouth. A shitty pair of underwear is a good weapon. And what happened? How did it all end? You just... I mean, I have so many poop pants stories. This was nothing to write home about. Did you tell your girlfriend? You're single right now. You're seeing somebody. Oh my God! I know. I'm single. Congratulations, Rich! You're seeing somebody in a school. No, I was smiling because it seemed like that was a smooth way of you trying to find out if I was seeing anybody. I thought I didn't know that you were all... What's going on with your love life? Yeah, what's going on, man? I'm a single guy. What was the last breakup you had? I don't know how you would define it because we kind of in and out with each other. How long did it... What was that? What was the duration? Two and a half years. So there's some hard... She's hot, too. Did you poop during the day? Oh, she was hot, huh? Was she in comedy? Did she do comedy? Can we look her up? Can we pull her up on Instagram? I don't like to talk about my personal life stuff. Sincerely. You can keep this in. Oh, but we don't mind. Yeah. We love talking about it. Yeah, nah. Was she an actress or she was a model? I don't like talking about this kind of stuff. I'm a boundaries guy. I'm a boundaries guy. She's a model. She's a model, huh? She was a tutor. I've seen her before. She was in high school and she tutored other high schoolers. She looked like she's from Minnesota. Do you mind if we talk about it? I would prefer if we just stopped talking about my personal life. Well, did you only date white women? or you date black and Latino and Asian women? Yeah, what's your problem with black people? Statistically, they're mostly white, but I've dated others. You've never dated a single black woman? I've dated a black... Oh, no, never a girlfriend. Not yet. That's a pretty quick answer. The truth. Okay, Charlie Kirk. I didn't know we were going to fucking... This podcast just hit a turning point. Will you... Will you... Now, I know your ex is smoking hot. Smoke shit. Which one? The last one. I like this guy. Will you guarantee this podcast that you will attempt to date a black woman going forward? Attempt to date? I've already attempted to date. But let's fucking get into the relationship. You're saying you want me to guarantee that my next girlfriend's going to be black? Yes, it's overseeing. I can't guarantee. Has she been light-skinned? Have you listened to the podcast? That's what it's about. Yes. It's not about trying. It's about following that. Thank you. Yeah. I'll do it. Look at that. With Eric Andre. With Eric Andre. Pauly, what's the worst gig you ever had? This gig? No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Paulie, we said no, we got it. Just tell us a bombing story, like just a fucking rough night at the store. I saw you last night. Yeah, I had a rough night. That was a bit of a bombing story. I wouldn't say very rough, but it wasn't good. It started off okay, and then it was just, it's tough, right? How long have you been doing stand-up? 22 years. 22 years. But I also was trying a bunch of new material, and it was not going well. But that's R&D. You need to R&D to get to the good. You got to go through a lot of fucking Shawshank sewer slosh redemption. Yeah, no, it's hard. Okay, tell us about a bad gig. Yeah, I was in New York City. It was several years ago. What year? Probably late 90s. Several years ago. Several years. Yeah, that's a long time ago. Can I put on your glasses? Pre-9-11. Yeah. Pre-COVID. Pre-COVID. Yeah, and there was a lot of homosexuals. Can I put on your glasses? Yeah. There was a lot of homosexuals. Homosexuals in the audience. and I kept like kind of like last night how you kind of kept digging into the hole you know you just kind of kept well when the material's not working you got a lot of high contact with it you kind of like go what do you want I almost got booed I almost got booed last night or this is the homosexual booed isn't that when you get into a relationship Rick they just did 17 minutes of you on this fucking podcast can I speak for a second you were the trench coat mafia the entire time we moved on. Jesus Christ, you're taking over everything. You're taking all the oxygen out of the room. You didn't even let the gentleman wrap. And he just smoked weed. And he was wanting to throw down some shit and it was all about you and your fucking sclerosis. I'll take responsibility for my part. I have my blind spots, but this energy is fucking miserable. Yeah. Well, I think I know who the culprit is. Yeah, it's because you said you won't date any black chicks, dude. You won't date black chicks. This is not true. And you know it's not true. Okay. And now you're doing what you said. You just, material's not working and you're digging in and you're making eye contact and you're making strong choices to be a villain. This is one of the worst days of my entire life. I'm the villain, the guy, the white guy won't date the black chick, I'm the villain. This is the best day I've ever had. Okay. All right, Stephen Miller. Whatever you want. So I also did this movie years ago called The Bogus Witch Project. Okay. It was a Blair parody? Blair Witch Project parody? Yeah, it was like the best of their videos. It's like when YouTube first hit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there was all the spoofs. Is this related to the homosexual bombing? No, but it probably should have been. Okay. Tell us the bombing. I'm going to push the microwave. Yeah, so Trimark paid me a lot of money for one day. Remember Trimark Pictures? Not really. They had a horse. Yeah, Trimark. They had a horse. Yeah. Horses. Okay, yeah, I remember them. Yeah. And they paid me one sum amount of money for one day to host the best of bogus witch project shorts and so it was like an award show or what was it it was like a clip show no it was a clip show but live yeah clip show movie so you just with an audience or you're filming it in a studio um no i was filming in a studio gotcha yeah but it was so then i finished it was no lunchtime and the the president of the the production or the studio excuse me we went into my car and um we were sitting there talking i was eating a sandwich and he gets out of the car and a vial of cocaine drops out of my car and i swear to god i'm telling everyone it wasn't my cocaine if it was i would have said oh shit and it was someone else's coke i don't want to save the person but she's a very famous um actress that was in my in my car because she's a friend of mine gotcha and i felt bad and i blamed her for it and he's like yeah okay man sure so that was like a bomb and then the actual movie came out and it was just really it was tough can you pull up a clip yeah but it's probably an actor or a comedian with cocaine on them why is that a bomb i mean that's a norm don't you think not if you're working for a studio yeah but what about robert evans the guy did more cocaine than yeah he did a lot of running things i don't know i was you know i'm not a big i was never a big coke guy me neither doesn't i don't i have a jewish nose and I have a lot of fucking mucinex. But I felt like very awkward. It was like a bomb. What was the bomb where you did the gay show? Oh, that was Gotham in New York. What happened? They didn't know who I was. I came out and my shit just wasn't working. And then it just got worse and worse and worse. And then finally it was just like when I said I'm leaving, they were clapping, but not clapping because I did good. They're clapping because I was getting off. They're like, oh, fuck, get this guy off. So that was pretty bad Did you cry after the show? Have you ever cried after the show? No I just sweated and it was fucked up And it was uncomfortable Punched a wall after a show? Have you ever quit comedy? You're like I'm never doing this No Greg Giraldo I remember punched a wall In Gotham That's so funny And he was struggling with the audience It just wasn't his night It's also like New York for me is difficult You know what I mean? because it's a different... You're so used to the store or what? No, it's just America is not New York. New York, the audience is just... Who was I talking to I was talking to Neil Brennan about that who just spending a lot of time in New York New York it difficult You just have to put a different head on when you go on that stage It difficult When you play the stand And they're joke by joke. It doesn't matter if that first joke you did crushed. The second joke, it's a reset button. You have to bring in every single joke because they reset. They're like, we're not on your side. We're joke by joke. and if you tell two duds in a row, you're digging a hole to China. Like the Apollo. Huh? Like the Apollo. Like the Apollo. The Apollo boos you right away. Have you done the Apollo? Have you done the Apollo? No, I've not done the Apollo, but the Apollo doesn't really do like Sandman shit anymore. It's kind of like a museum at this point. It's not my show on Tuesdays. Yeah, great. It's not the show where you burn your dick off on Tuesdays. but yeah but I like I'm at this place in my comedy stuff where I kind of like when it's quiet you know what I mean like when I do something and it doesn't work I'm like I kind of I get you know you ever see that show Power Slap where the people are slapping each other in the face and then sometimes they hit them and they fall and sometimes they hit them and they're like come on I kind of like that when it's like when it doesn't get a laugh I kind of think it's fun. Do you tour? I do tour. You held on to your hair. Your hair looks good. It looks really good. That's big. For a Jew, that's huge. You tour with Sandy Danchel? I'm going to Austin tomorrow. You're a Jew, right? You're Jewish? I am. His mom is Mitzi Short. I condolences. Yeah, Austin tomorrow. Have you ever met her? You know Susie Essman's character in Curb Your Enthusiasm? Fran Lebowitz my mom looks like Howard Stern my mom's a Jew from Harlem in the Bronx my dad's from Haiti boy are your arms tired you kind of loosened up so do you tour a lot I do but then I take big breaks and I get burnt out on doing stand up you know I kind of walked away from it during quarantine and I'm trying to get back in. I love it. I love it. It's instant gratification. It's the only thing that's instant gratification before delayed gratification. But just so much goddamn work. You gotta fucking babble, babble, babble and hang out so late. Are you married with children and stuff? No. Single, no kids getting a vasectomy. What about you? Right here, right now. Let's get the scorpion back in here. You burn your dick off, I burn my vas deferens. with Eric Andre with Eric Andre Earl what's the worst gig you've ever fucking had where you're like I want to kill myself after this after I get off stage I got two yeah um one I was in Korea okay fall Korea South Korea and I smoked a bunch of weed before I went on stage. What? Which is usually not that big of a problem. Yeah, you've done it before. It just seems unprofessional. You gotta do it. As a rapper, that seems unprofessional. You want to break the ice though. With a Korean crowd, you know what I mean? You need to make eye contact and not maybe feel real weird. Were they coming for you or were you part of a festival or opening? They were coming for me. So you were the headliner. You're at the top of the ticket. I was the headliner. Okay. Oh, thanks, man. And, yeah, I smoked a bunch of weed, and it was, like, pretty chill. But there was, like, one black dude that I guess was, like, stationed at, like, wherever. In the army, yeah, army dude. Bro was super chill. It was, like, the guy. Okay. He, like, at some point during, like, I could have gotten away with it if it wasn't for this dude in the middle of the show being like, you're high as fuck. The one black dude is snitching on you? The one black dude was like, you're high as shit. Shut the fuck up. He was saying that during songs? It was some awkward dude that's on stage that's just really high silence. He was on stage? No, it was like me. This is why I don't date black guys. Why you don't date girls? Did you get scared bringing weed to Korea? I don't think I brought it. I think it was there in someone's talk. like someone yeah exactly no someone i don't know i got smoked out whatever i got high and then i was high but you thought at first you're doing fine but it was the black dude in the audience that got in your head blew my up that's what i'm saying it was fine calling it out like so loud you could hear him from the audience dead it was between songs it was ridiculous it was like so hilarious Did you say anything bad? Did you clap back at him? Oh, my God. If I did, it was like it fell flat on its face. And I was also super high in Korea. Also, English second language. It was like, yeah, bro. That's good, though. He was a narc. He's narc on you. He's like an army guy, right? He's a bit of an Uncle Tom to throw the only other black guy in Korea under the bus. It was just like, yeah, I'm high. These people don't understand anything that I'm saying. Is that a problem, though? No, it's usually fine. What's the issue? Do you record high? Are some of your albums your high? I smoke a lot of weed. Yeah. And also, where are you running from? Where are you running from? What am I running from? Yeah, what are you trying to avoid? Like, mild discomfort. That's a good name for an album. Thank you. And your dad is nuts, right? Your family's crazy? Yeah, pretty much. So you're the chill one. You're the black sheep. You're the chill one amongst crazy brothers and shit. I guess, but I'm still... You still got that dog in you. You still got the crazy in you. So you're smoking and the guy's calling you out at the most silent moments in the thing, and then you just crumble. I crumbled. That sucks. In front of, like, mad... What was the capacity? 2,000 seater? probably but there was like 112 people there oh no so small what is the doctor doing in the house what's going on with the doctor the doctor can come out and do his thing feel free yeah come on out do your thing he wants to do a check up you know the doctor alright Paulie yeah I'm about Nick, you move out. Nick, you move out. Pauly. Wait, hold on now, Pauly. Come on in. You got to be on camera. Do you? Sit next to Nick. Now, Doc. That's good. That's Doc Diggs. We don't have the healthiest guests today. We were wondering if you could check their vitals. Well, sure. Can you call? Let me. Can you call? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait. Call off and touch their. Let me do a thing. But it's like beforehand. Pauly, are you really up? A lot of people know me for being like. No, wait. Come on. You have to come. Where are you going? Very good. We're in the middle of a. Pauly, I wrote jokes. I wrote jokes for Pauly when he bombs. Eric, I didn't even know you knew about my podcast. Of course. Take your shoes off. What's it called? Take your shoes off. Is that the name of it? I thought that's why you were doing that. Yeah. That's why I'm doing this right now. I'm flattered. Doc, I have just one more question for Earl Sweatshirt, and then we'll get to the medical analysis, because I know we got a hard out. So what was the second story? We don't have a hard out, I'll tell you that much. Second story. I was playing a show in Detroit with a guy. If you're high for this one, too, I'm going to walk out with you. This one wasn't on me. This was on my friend. So you were headlining or what? I was playing a festival, like an electronic music festival. That was like one of the only rap acts on it. Right, right, right. It was a bit of a clash, culture clash. Right. So already I want to like show out because, you know what I mean, I'm not, it's not my like home. You're not playing techno. Exactly. Okay. My friend who I'm playing it with is a really talented dude, really talented producer. He's like, hey. Alchemist? No, another guy. Not, uh, uh, knowledge? He's like, yo, I don't rehearse. We don't rehearse. I'm like, it would be really cool if we could rehearse. Yeah, it would help. It's not what's happening. So we go out there, and it was just like, there's no way to describe it. It was a shit show. It just got worse. And I watched the crowd dwindle. like I watched it go from like I don't know if you've ever seen that a crowd go from like a lot to like the ten fools who are like it's kind of happening today you were just doing your regular set though it wasn't you were doing anything wrong right it was just an honest bomb it was a full blown bomb like it was not they wanted techno you were rapping no but road didn't rehearse anything so we didn't It was very clear that we didn't know what was going on on the stage, so people were just like... Yeah, yeah. You slowly walked the crowd. That's a heartbreak. I bombed on a Jumbotron once that was like that. Oh, no. I have too. What happened? It was a fundraiser for breast cancer or something, and it was at college, and in the hockey stadium, people were walking around for 24 hours, and they had the comedy club do comedy for two hours of the 24 hours, and I was at the end and I told jokes about my friend who died from cancer and everyone just got up and laughed. But I was like angry at him because I gave him my Smallville DVDs and when he died his parents kept it and I thought that was funny but no one else thought it was funny. That's really funny. We have each guest urinate in these mason jars. I don't want it. We want you to try to guess who the celebrity is based off their piss. I'm having a good time. What? Why is there condensation? Because they didn't get it totally accurate. Is it refrigerated? Yes. One's Benicio Del Toro. What's happening? One's Paldano. One's Paldano. But you have to guess. Yeah. So I'm confident based on how much there is that it's probably something that I can drink, but I wouldn't even drink it if it was water. We're not asking you to drink it. What is this? You took it to a weird direction. You said you check your vitals. You're on board. Hold on. The doctor's going to check your vitals. Can you check his pulse? No, no, no. Just check his pulse. Just on the wrist. No, no, no. You need... Come on. Just get on the... No, no, no. No, please. Get on the wrist. Please. Put it down. Rick, Rick. Just let him check your vitals. I don't want him to touch me. Just the neck. Doc, can you just get the vitals? I didn't even park in the parking spot because it was valet. Just like this. And I didn't want someone to drive my car. The neck or the wrist. Please. Please. Doc, get up in your hands. Wait, wait. It's cold. Follow my finger. We'll do the brain test. We'll do the brain test first. Because there's a little twitch there. I want to just see. And Sean, you can come back in because you got one more thing. Circle. What is this for? This is to check your health. Are you good with the sunshine? No, I'm not cold. The piss is cold. I'm not. Not really. If you're warmer, then you can hold it. And you check his chest. And then it's better. Well, I think he would. He seems a little anxious. I think I'd get punched. To lower his anxiety, check his chest. You do Reiki? Nick, get up. Nick, get up so they can sit next to each other. He's one of the premier child Reikis. You gotta get up. You gotta get up. You gotta get up I being torn You my two best friends If he gets up I get up I won Nick your Uber here You gotta get going Nick let go of me I want him to be comfortable Nick, Nick, let go of Rick. Rick to Nick. You know what? I had a cute story about bombing on stage. We don't care. You can't tell him. We didn't talk about it. I got out so I can tell his story. That's not what he did. It's my podcast. He's respectful. He's respectful. Let me be. All right, so tell him the podcast, but you can touch him. You can touch him, dude. I am a fan of yours, really, and I get it. I get all of it, and I really appreciate it. I just, you know, my boundaries are more important to me than... It's a homophobic thing, and I think you need to push past that. Because if it was a beautiful woman, if Sofia Vergara was here, would you be complaining about it? I wouldn't complain about it. If Sofia Vergara had the exact same penis, you'd be fine with it. So when you dated the woman that you previously dated, the supermodel, you said, I don't like to be touched. Give me a fucking break. This is not an intimate relation for me. Unfair. Was she not white enough? Yeah. Is this guy not white enough? My side. My side. I can understand. She has something on your shoulders. Oh, yeah? Got it. Okay. So tell us about your bombing story because we got to wrap it up. Yeah. I got you, Brianna. Well, and that's the time we have. Thank you guys. No, no, no. Hold on. You got a bombing story. I don't. Yeah. I mean, I'll tell it because it's a theme of the thing, but I think everything that has happened, I don't think that this story is a climax. I think this is, this is, you know, it's a friendly story. It was so good. Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick, Rick. It was several years ago. Okay. It was in the 40s. You weren't, you don't get it. And I was just starting to do stand up. and I put a show together when I first moved to Los Angeles I mean your face is bored no no no no I'm so locked in I'm so locked in and I've been up to 7-Eleven producing a podcast I'll tell the next time I'm on no no no no it actually feels so good to hear a normal story from the 40s so tell us your bombing story so we can go home we're waiting for you We're waiting for you. I don't feel it. Yeah, it's going to be a three-minute story that's not worth it. So tell it. It's the 40s. You just started doing stand-up. I moved to Los Angeles. I was waiting tables at a steak restaurant, and I invited everybody I knew to come to the show because this is important, you think, to fill the audience. And there was a sound check, and during the sound check, I asked where they have the light. It wasn't a venue that was meant for comedy. They didn't have anybody running a light. Right. It wasn't set up for a comedic. No. The odds were stacked against you. I mean, looking back now, I still think it would have been okay if I knew how to do comedy a little bit better. But the only thing they had on stage instead of a light, they said they have a bubble machine. And I... We got to get a bubble machine. So then the person who I had booked to headline the show told me last minute they were unable to do it. I was getting really nervous like I can't headline this show and I found somebody kind of last minute I was already nervous with all of this and when I was on stage the people that I worked with were pretty close and one of the waiters brought a friend of his that was heckling me in a way that I just didn't have the tools to deal with it the waiter's friend was heckling? I don't know if he knew he was I don't remember what he was saying I just remember the feeling that I was heckling like he thinks he's funny or aggressively like I'm going to beat your ass The first one. Okay, so he thinks he's joking like, I'm funny too. I'm helping you. Yeah. And the timing of which just didn't help me. I didn't, again, have the tools for this. And right before a punchline, he said something. I then... Were you the only comic? There were three. I had somebody go up first, then I went up, and then the headliner went up. Okay. Are you on a stage or are you just in the middle of the floor? It's a stage. So there's some things that are conducive to like, this is a show to the audience. Yes, it was just they didn't have the lights. And there's lighting. Okay. They didn't have the light. Oh, they had a bubble machine. They had a bubble machine. Okay. The wet light So you're getting heckled The first punchline he had yelled something That threw me off and also the audience Didn't hear the punchline which was necessary To understand the next one But instead of reestablishing It's a punchline that's also a set up And he stepped on both a punchline And you chucked forward So I just kept going Knowing well now I'm not present at all My alphas were very low or high Depending on whatever the game is It's all made up It's orange so in my head I know this isn't going to work but I'm just trying to truck through my set and then I do and I say the punchline that I don't even know if it would have worked but it definitely does it now we'll say it now we'll see if it works yeah okay first base we did it Rick did it again Rick it's Rick shut up let me finish the story it was I don't know if there's any other time I've ever sweating from nerves, not from pot. I was so nervous, even knowing this punchline is not going to work. And I did it. People didn't know that that was the end of my set. That was the end of my set. I didn't know how to tell them, so I just said, bubble me, thinking you would get a laugh because of the bubble machine. Nobody knew that there was even a bubble machine. I've bombed many times, and the feeling is what it is. I've had good sets. The feeling is what it is. I feel like good sets and bad sets have the same thing in common that two hours later, you don't feel it anymore. So like, I don't know if that's true. There's some bombs that haunt me to this day that are like 10 years old. That you're that you still feel what a shame of. Yeah. Just like if I had a time machine kind of feeling. I would love to talk about it on my podcast sometime. Take your shoes. Have you invited me? Check your DMs. What's the name of your podcast? take your shoes off it really is I would invite you give it over there it's nothing bad buddy listen to me there's nothing you could possibly do that I'm going to be okay with Rick Rick Rick Rick Rick Rick I appreciate that already but I do not feel safe with you Rick I don't feel safe with you I can't tell if you're doing a bit or not I'm telling you I'm not but listen I don't feel safe with that. I'm asking you to leave me alone. Where you are right now, if you come any closer, I'll lose my fucking shit. Why? With the pee. I don't like being on screen with somebody else with a mustache. I actually work with people with phobias. And if you want, at a separate time. I appreciate immersion therapy happens before that. No, no, I follow you. But I genuinely do care about you. And I'm not trying to like... I can appreciate that. See, I don't. I want to see how you can cope with a spider on the show. Is it spiders or him? But these things are actually really beautiful, and there's a part of us sometimes that is scared of things that either we don't understand or we have that experience. So just talk to me later. That's all. I do think it's beautiful, and it's not just the spider that's creeping me out. It's also, well, it's the intention of what's going to happen with that spider. If this was a controlled environment that I trusted, I would maybe be interested in touching it. It's a very controlled environment. Buddy, there's a guy with a dick next to me who's not wrapping it up. You're naked under those clothes. Okay, no. I appreciate your empathy and I believe you. Hey, hey, hey. We were born. I believe you. Excuse me. We were born naked. We shower naked. There's nothing wrong with being naked. And we make love naked. There's nothing wrong with being naked. There's nothing wrong with spiders. And a consent to it that I think is important. That guy's penis is the hardest it's been the whole time right now. Yes, but we're not talking about body autonomy here. We're not talking about Roe v. Wade. We're talking about spiders. I don't appreciate it. It's not specifically the spider. It's what's going to happen with the spider. What's going to happen? I don't know. You got a wild show, my friend. You put the spider on your leg and it doesn't do anything. I'm with you. I have acrophobia myself. Can I ask something? If you're saying this much doesn't mean anything, then I feel you wouldn't be sitting on the chair naked. Well, I'm doing this for the ultraviolet. What would happen if we took the spider and the roaches on you? What would happen? Honestly, I think by the end of the day, I would be in the same place I am anyway. I think I would be okay. I just don't want to raise my cortisol levels like that. But what would happen? Maybe a little poop. Would you lash out? No. I'd lash out, like hit somebody? Yeah. I mean, it depends if I'm asking somebody to stop and they won't. So you're willing to be violent. If somebody is getting in my space and my words don't work, I'm like- You're willing to result in violence? Yes. A jab or a cross? Well, a jab is the fastest way to handle it. I'm not looking to hurt somebody. I'm looking to get them away, so a jab. You really punch somebody? I can't really take a punch, by the way. It's violence, man. Yeah. It's toxic. It's been a little bit since I've been in fights, but I'm not afraid of them. It's not healthy, man. Rick. Rick, Rick, Rick. Rick, Rick. That's a lot of darkness, brother. Rick, Rick. We got to fix you. That's a lot of darkness. And are you even going to finish your story? Because we got to go. We got to hard out. We had the bubble machine. Hard out. So you cue the bubble machine. That's the end of the story. I was just saying that the feeling that I had, the most I could connect to of you saying, like, I think about this later. Normally, I don't think, I mean, I think about it. I try to learn from it, but I was really affected by that because having to go to work, having to go to work the next day, for the next, like, few days, and everyone was very nice. It's a lot easier if someone says, dude, that was rough, that sucked. That was fun, thanks for inviting me. A lot of your co-workers. where were you working you were waiting tables five servers from the restaurant I was so embarrassed and also the guy who brought the friend was like dude we had so much fun thank you and like I couldn't tell how much of this was my responsibility because it was I bombed but I was like dude acknowledge that your friend was a cunt did the friend come up to you afterwards and be like that was great yeah he was very drunk I'm very unattracted to drunk do you think the anger and the violence do you think that comes from like an anxiety or a I don't consider myself a very angry violent person I just consider myself somebody who is not afraid to use that as a defense well a lot of the readings from the headband were anger and violence what colors were those orange dude orange red blue or orange and red we're all pulling for you we're trying to make you a better you that's why we brought you here we care about you No Yeah It's a lot of orange You checked your watch three times During that story No I was texting my producers No the watch You checked your watch Oh cause we have a hard out We have one minute We have a hard out We have a hard out That should be the name of the show Can you get hard before we go out Anything else you wanna promote Anything else you wanna promote Anything what Anything else you wanna promote Ricky's on the loose tour baby Is that real Yeah Hey Ricky's on the loose I'm on tour live, laugh, love. We're like not bombing. Were you going to rap? You come to the tour. I'm rapping. Ladies and gentlemen, that's been our show. Thank you. Good night. Yeah. I'll be. I'll be. With Eric Andre. Got a burning story that you're itching to tell about when you bombed or absolutely failed in life? Now's your chance to tell me all about it, baby. I want to hear your worst, most cringeworthy what the fuck was I thinking? what just happened moment. So pick up your phone and dial 716-BOMBING. That's 716-266-2464. And leave me a voicemail and we might just play it on a future episode. Bombing with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcast. Our executive producer is Noah Abiar. Our producer is Bae Wang. Our research assistant is David Karliner. Our editor and sound designer is Andy Harris. Our art is by Dylan Vanderberg. This podcast is recorded at Sweet Tea Studios. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.