The Tale of The Bridesmaid and The Rodent

Welcome back, nigglets and friends. I am the publicist social representative and legal counsel for Laney. We will give a free. You have your fucking work cut out for you. I know that. And I am Rekia Jackson. This is the read. Thank you for joining us. It is. Thank you. She is young bean. She is small bean. Okay. Yeah, all right. She bad bean is what she is. Lainey was over there. Lainey was over there like, everybody can kiss my ass. Don't come nowhere near this place. And matter of fact, you over there, get off of that computer. I told her, mommy is leaving to go to work. I'm going back to the studio because you simply do not know how to fucking act. And she just went in her crate and laid down because she knew. She knew. she had one chance check out Link last night I'm trying to do like a cute video with her she does a normal thing where she just turns her head away from the camera and it's just like incredibly I'm like alright babe we're not getting this done I put it down to the side then one of my friends called me on FaceTime like literally 10 minutes later and I'm now having conversations with someone in the phone and she walks the phone gets directly on my chest and ensures that she's blocking the camera because nobody will speak to her mama but her. It's like... Bitch, you literally did not even want to talk. You didn't want to be near me. I just had you over here and you refused. Right. So what's the truth? Yeah. Shady-ass dogs, man. I don't deserve it, but I'm glad she has representation because I'm coming for her. Well, how's New York? the ice melt yet? No, but it is 32 degrees today, so I'm going to get a pedicure, sandal season. Yes, good enough. I will never complain about temperatures under 15 degrees ever again. My entire concept of what it means to be cold has changed. It, it, I mean, it, it was 27 yesterday, and I was like, Lainey, we can, we don't even need coats. Like, this is, this is balmy out here. It feels incredible. So now that it's actually slightly above freezing and it's going to be in the 40s next week. Oh, nigga. Look at that. I'm so excited. He is so excited. But it is still filthy snow and ice absolutely everywhere. So still pretty gross. Right. I mean, it's, you know, it's no Los Angeles, but how could it be? I mean, it is no Los Angeles, but we have our, you know, our struggles as well. Oh, yeah, right. I barely got any sleep last night because the AC was too low. And I was like, oh, my goodness. It's 67 inside. It's 65 outside. That's rough. The concept. I wish I was joking. I woke up in a cold sweat shaking like a base hit. But, you know, it's rough. I don't know. Actually, running the AC in February. I actually do not know shit about that. That's not my life. I have AC covers on. Oh, God. All right. All right. The other nine months are while we live here. We just got to get through March. And then we'll be all right. Because, baby, what a time. Summer in New York is perfect, though. It's just like one of the most. Nothing better. Amazing, unmatched experiences and feelings. And, like, each summer. It's a real thing. I mean, born-bred New Yorkers can be like, girl let me tell you something about summers of like 2002 yeah you know what i mean like but for the decade that i lived here lived there every summer wasn't i mean part of it is like oh my god the sun is out and it's yeah but then the thing right like it's just like the city comes alive everything wakes up it's just like everything to see and do and we don't be extra outside after this winter? That's what I'm saying. As soon as it hits 60 degrees, the arrest rates might go away. It's going to be orgies in the street. That's what I'm saying. Speaking of orgies, why was it a magnum in the snow when I was walking Laney yesterday? I said, you know what? Talk about bravery. Someone is out there getting to work. Like, what do you mean? And it was new. It was wrapped. I was like, damn. So you was probably on your way. And then I saw the box not too far from that. So I was like, damn, you was on your way, buddy. That nigga was like, matter of fact, never mind. Never mind. I'm going to go home and make myself warm. It's not worth it. So, but yeah, we are just counting down the days until it's really nice outside again. Well, amen. Well, let's get the program started the way we usually do with some Black Excellence. And this week, Black Excellence is going to go to me. That's right. Starting June 4th, I will officially have been Kid Fury for 20 years. Holy shit. It's wild. It's a bit anxiety-inducing because old. But also it is an incredible milestone and one that I'm grateful for. I think it also speaks a bit of what goes into my mind that I think I was washing the dishes or coming from the bathroom. And I was like, wait. 20 years. That number on that number. Wow So black excellence to the little Gay boy That was too afraid to even speak up Or have his voice heard And look at you now Who became the big gay boy Who speaks up For a living You guys are welcome You know You guys are welcome I'm that OG baby That original doll So you can lick my titties and suck my breasts Suck my titties and lick my breasts my breasts. Okay. Congratulations to me for 20 years. I'm so glad to be alive to see you. Yes, that's so real. Look at you. 20 fucking years. That is quite the achievement. You should be proud of yourself, for sure. Should be able to drink next year. Wow. She's a big girl. She's all grown up. Look at you. You've nurtured her this far. Yes, so happy birthday. Maybe I'll have an orgy on June 4th. Okay. I definitely needed to hear that. I needed to hear it. What a better way to celebrate. Book it now. Speaking of celebrations, this week's Hot Tops is going to start with the Super Bad Bunny. The Super Bunny? Oh, my God. Someone probably said Super Bunny. That sounds amazing. It does. Sounds like a cartoon from, like, Nickelodeon. Mm-hmm. Or, like, a rabbit. Anyways. Bad Bunny halftime performance I would like I would Speak But I have no notes I have like I don't have a single note I don't have Any additional extended commentary I don't have a director's cut bitch I don't have nothing for you That performance was perfect It was a masterpiece It was excellent from beginning to end And I didn't understand most of it. Right, same. The stuff that I did was probably because I grew up in South Florida. And I think I knew like two songs. So there's that. And still, I was immersed. I was entranced. The set, the design of his production and staging, the choreography, the cultural references, you know giving the grammy to the the young boy watching on tv the younger version of himself oh that was so sweet oh i could have cried only thing stronger than hate is love the wedding the kids sleep on the chair at the wedding how it'd be kids pass out in the middle of these parties because we party all fucking night when we have an event like this like it just felt like this is not my culture but i see my culture in this yes yes and like growing up in miami again is like caribbean afro-caribbean latin caribbean so like a lot of that i did recognize too so kind of almost took me back to being in miami for yeah i have to see how i recognize this um but either away like i agree with what you're saying it's like we are not attached to that culture necessarily but the authenticity and like nurturing care community and consideration that way into every aspect of that not to mention he's a great performer one of the biggest goddamn performers in the world be right no no it's perfect absolutely like amazing astounding star spangled It took me back to my years living in Washington Heights, especially the parties going on until 3 a.m. Like, girl, I do actually have to get up at 6.15 to go to work. But I know they party till 6. I'm in y'all neighborhood. Y'all not in mine. I'm in yours. So that's it. And that is. And you have to understand that, like, when you move somewhere, you are joining that community. You are not trying to force that community to be like you. And this is what they do. But anyway, yeah, everything about it, just so thoughtful, so intentional. I saw that the same person who choreographed Kendrick's show also choreographed this one. Yes. And I was like, that explains a lot. She's awesome. Yeah. I was like, so then you're always going to be working. You're simply never. She's on every burger. You're never going without because this was just incredible. Bacon and cheese on every burger. You did not. He said beforehand, you do not have to know Spanish. You just have to, you know, know how to catch a fucking vibe, basically. And that's true. The story that was told was so clear. So I just loved every second of it. I had a ball during the halftime show. It was so gorgeous. The choreography, thank you for bringing it up, too, because I was kind of wondering who did the choreography when I was watching it, and I forgot to, like, look it up or whatever. but um that fucking choreography there were so many lines and so many things but it also didn't feel like and now they're gonna dance it felt so like involved in everything you know performing on top of the house with pedro pascal and anita and cardi b and all these other latin yeah jessica alba just vibing and shit like that it was and then the roll call at the end with all of the america's flag oh my goodness and then you know he shouted out most of the countries not all of them but everybody's flag was there yeah um and then putting the united states and canada last which i was like correct it's where we belong it's where we belong but and it's not about you but and then the football saying together we are all america which is so true like the u.s gets a lot of attention for reasons we all understand but north south central america is comprised of many countries and so many of them united we are so much stronger and i it really just felt like y'all if we could just all put down the anti-blackness look at how powerful we could be if y'all would just stop hating the blacks not just black americans but the blacks who are also very much a part of your culture and denying them and their influence in your own individual cultures we could just be incredible like this world could change so I just loved every minute of it and to that point you have to watch this show and be like you have to love to hate like you have to wake up and be like what's gonna piss me off today and make me go off like you have to go out of your way for this to be pissed you off because you can just not watch it You can just not watch it Girl It's a 15 minute Annual Anthology concert Next year it's gonna be somebody else The year after day it's gonna be somebody else And do you know how Many I was gonna use like a really old school Do you know how Many of y'all Have performed And I just didn't watch Because I didn't care yeah did it like so many times most of the time and it's not just like oh well girl you don't watch sports anyway i've watched the commercials that's that's not sports i didn't say it was i'm there in front of the tv during the show and if i didn't want to watch the halftime i would go and watch you know i'd go get some crackers and listen to the rest of the family smacking dominoes through a table. Oh, now that's culture. That's culture. Now give me a fuck. I would have that on my stage. Yeah, it would be dominoes if my uncles and granddaddies really making a big, big noise like they finna fight over dominoes cards, bid with, some kind of shooting dice, some shit y'all not supposed to be doing. Do you know how diabolical it is to say my bedtime is eight and you niggas are out there say it breaking furniture until 2am so what's the truth? catterwalling me and all my cousins what are you talking about? we lined up head to foot in one bed all six of them and y'all talking about go to sleep nigga how? just looking at each other like okay well y'all wanna play jazz? right I'm thinking of a number y'all guess it just whatever because they will not let because we're not because the adults are ready to drink freely that's what that meant we had to go to bed while the sun was technically still up because they was ready to get drunk and didn't want us to see them acting like that i will say though sometimes i hear my mama cackling and i'd be like oh they're having fun oh yeah no i know y'all are having fun i just want to be a part of it but but the uncles and and my daddy and i'm hollering at each other it's just like okay this isn't fun not for me like i don't hear anything joyous oh yeah like you make it sound serious actually this sounds like somebody's gonna start writing right oh it was it was great yeah so um yeah i guess again to the point like i really don't even like i know there has been like a lot of commentary negative commentary um around this a lot of MAGA and the rest of the idiots I try to ignore for this era you know this is me here okay yeah no but like I honestly was thinking about a way to to discuss this and all I could think of was hold their nuts like just hold everyone's balls. Who the fuck cares what you're talking about? Boricuas, stand up. Latinos, stand up. Dummies, sit down. Don't nobody, like, are you okay? Do you know how much you have to, like, really get off by being mad? To be mad at this? Yeah. a concert presented by Apple Music? I'm worried. But not about me. And they had their own halftime show, so I don't know why y'all didn't just watch y'all whites-only program. Because it sucks. Even MAGA haters. But that's what y'all wanted. That's literally what y'all wanted. So just watch your boring white shit and leave us alone. And y'all couldn't even lie and act like you liked it. So what do you want? moving on I woke up this morning and I saw that apparently Ja Rule and one Tony A.O. of G.U. had an altercation on a Delta Airlines flight I saw this video, I did what is happening, right? I didn't the Delta one like this I wish I had been on that playboy I would have been gagged These aren't recliners. This is not Delta One. This is first class. That's not Delta One. You see something like that. Oh, no, wait. This one does go. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. I saw the camera over here. I know Delta One when I see it. Yeah. I just see this clip of them standing up right here. Screaming in these people's airplanes. Oh, yeah. This is 1000% Miss Delta. Miss One Doubt. Now, look at these two niggas. We're talking about, let's shake, nigga. let's shake let's shake shake what i didn't know that that was the the thing calling each other scary ass nigga police ass nigga i heard ja rule got removed from the plane but i didn't see that clip that's just because he threw a pillow okay well that's where the flight attendants crossed the line i guess they said now god damn it you are playing too much and i'm just not gonna deal with it yeah just get off just get off just get off the fucking course somebody called you know they call the law the marshal whoever you don't ever you don't want the faa involved with this i promise you don't just get off the aircraft take the next one out he and then you know the funny thing is he admitted that he threw the pillow laughed about it tony yale also admitted that he threw the pillow and laughed about it like jaru laughed in the sense of like yeah i threw his pillow this goofy ass nigga it was hilarious it knocked his head off and yale was like yeah this nigga threw this pillow on me with his pussy and now he ate on the blade of the board i mean yeah it's a nice pillow them delta one they give you like a full-size pillow baby sheets yeah they're very comfortable too yeah oh yeah you go right yeah right to bed soon as they serve that little meal thank you so much sister i'm gonna go ahead and dim my light put on yes put on imagine go to sleep imagine getting on a flight no where you get to literally go to bed. Not sleep. But bed and be like I'm gonna get kicked off this flight over arguing with this nigga. Mind you Tony A was 47. Ja Rule would be 50 at the end of the month. Too damn old. Way. New York niggas New Jersey niggas are petty on a completely different level. I'm not talking about petty like yo she fucked my man so I fucked her brother I'm talking about it is decades in petty to the point where everybody around you is like girl that couldn't have been an eye roll or fuck you fuck you too and then we go to bed put on a little eye mask none of y'all are really even relevant anymore so I don't know why you couldn't have just sat there enjoyed your pre-flight drink your warm nuts I don't know why y'all Let me tell you about a warm nut. Because I get on. And they just bring them right out. There you go. Would you like some nuts? I'll just drop these nuts. Those warmed cashews, almonds. Yummy. Yummy. I don't know why y'all can't just take an edible, have a glass of champagne, and then go to sleep. That's what I do when I have the privilege of flying in Delta One. I enjoy it and go the fuck to sleep. When I'm president I'm going to make it so That Every black American Gets to Have at least one Business class light Delta One flight To the African nation of their chief Oh Oh well Perhaps Caribbean We're going to catch Well first we have to get Delta To fly the Delta One planes To those countries Which they don't I didn't say just Delta Oh, you mean like a similar... That was like the only plane with the... Oh, yeah, come on, Emirates. Come on, British Airways. That's what I'm going to be doing when I'm president. And that is a good use of your power and the country's money. I agree. And by that, I mean me and another reality somewhere who guys together. Girl, I don't know how I fell into this rabbit hole the other day. I think... No, I do know. I was watching Interstellar, and then I watched some other space movie. Interstellar because it is just gorgeous. Like, it is so fucking pretty, what they do with a lot of those shots in space. At the same time, it was ridiculous because I have a recurring nightmare. I don't even want to say that one. It's giving me chills. I have a recurring nightmare where I'm just, like, lost, free-floating, in just, like, the pitch-black cosmos. Okay. or it's like some I don't know it's like some color or something that's impossible to explain cosmic horror fucks me up and at the end of Interstellar he literally gets sucked, oh spoiler, he gets sucked into a black hole on purpose and then ejects from the ship he's in and then starts floating around in space and then I guess he uses string theory to save his kid but I went to watch this video from, it was like one of those videos, I forget who does it, where it's like, astrologer answers your questions about space, lawyer answers your questions about law. Yeah. This one is an astrologer who is talking about, I think someone asked like, the difference between a galaxy and a universe. I don't know. Girl, why did I go look up a map of the Milky Way? Wait, an astrologer or an astronaut? No, an astrologer. Oh, wow. No. Yeah, astrologer. Aren't they not the ones who study space? Or is that astrology? No, astrology is more about like the planets and their alignment and like what's happening at any given point because of where the planets and sun and moon and all that shit is. Astronomy is the study of like space. Oh, astronomer. Right. Oh, astronomer. Okay, okay. Because I'm like, and then they was going to say what? That Aries was going to rise again and planet. Right, right, right. I got you. Okay. So a map of the Milky Way. Let me look this up, actually. No. Well, maybe it won't scare you. I'm not scared of space because I'm not going up there. So it ain't no problem. There is just something about knowing that you are this small. First of all, our solar system is nothing in comparison to the Milky Way galaxy. It is invisible practically. And our planet is nothing in comparison to many other planets in this solar system. Wow. So when I think about how small and insignificant and how much other shit is going on out there, it just makes me take up. I'm getting this now. You don't like it? I'm getting this now. No, there's just something scary about it to me. I find it very reassuring. It's like, why do I have anxiety? Are you kidding? Anxiety? Look at this. Like, look at the fucking Milky Way. I'm less than a dot in this context. Yeah, so we have to deal with the rest of the dots. My thing is, we're not a dot. We're whatever. This is beautiful. As you can see, baby. I, like, the best part about it for me is I'm like, well, I won't be here long enough. Like, living a long life. I won't hear long enough for it to make a difference. You know what I mean? It just, it is what it is. Human life span just not that long. I don't have to think about it, but when I do. I like this. I mean, it is overwhelming. It is, that's a perfect word. It is overwhelming. Yeah, I agree. It sends a chill down my throat. I can see why. But I think I'm just afraid of space. At the same time, I love cosmic horror movies, but that's something to me. I'm just in no danger of going up there. so I it's nothing to be afraid of that is true that is true because you know something that's similarly scary to me the bottom of the ocean yep another place I'm not going never so whatever weird things live down there they can just do that them niggas will never be my business and we they say the same they don't care they're not interested in coming up there they can't and we can't survive down there. Isn't that God saying that? That's their business. This is literally that. And you brave scientists who decide to find a way to go down there and study them niggas anyway. Hats off to y'all. I won't be doing that, though. That's just not right. But it's not my portion. And I'm fine with that. Well, sure. I mean, what the fuck do I know? Sure. How do I know? You can make up anything. And I'll be like, yeah, why not? Because I ain't going to look. I'm going to skip over these other petty niggas from New York. I was going to use examples of other petty niggas like Cameron suing J. Cole over breach of contract because he did two features for J. Cole, like, but the agreement was when I need a verse, give me a verse. And J. Cole been giving him a run around about three, four, five times. So I'm suing him. Well, if they put it in writing, then yeah, that's, you can definitely sue. Yeah. If it is in writing, then I guess you can. And 50 Cent also a petty nigga did a commercial for DoorDash where he literally makes fun or pokes at the fact that he's a troll and now he's delivering beef. And then he took a whole bunch of products out of this DoorDash bag that were not food. They are items that you can get on DoorDash, but they were all without him saying a name. They were all related to people that he's trolled or has like public needs with. And so it's kind of up to the person. Are people who know to like get these clues? Because DoorDash ain't gonna have you saying fuck Diddy on this. But there is a part of the end of the clip where he just busts out laughing and everybody behind the camera is busting out. So they know what's going on. They love it. DoorDash apparently was one of them clues about his son. One of them was a clock. So maybe that meant time. Time's up. or time until, you know. Time until he dies and doesn't leave his son anything. Since DoorDash want to pay that horrible person to be their spokesperson. Interesting. Clay Day. Just questions, you know. I'm just wondering. Just wondering. Woo! Clay Thompson's birthday. So yesterday Bash just took place His beautiful baby boom Oh yes The boondocks Megan was very involved No you brought it up and now I have to talk about it No, I know. The way Riley was like, Granddad, this is a whore. He said it plain and simple. You and Riley were like, you brought a whore into this house. she do not love you granddad i can't believe you think that girl wants you she's gonna take everything you got this house and all of your money and then she's out of here yes she's covered in glitter she smell like baby powder because she's a stripper she is a whore what are you talking about he was a granddad then kat williams came and got her oh god that show granddad was so heartbroken and Riley still said I told you she was like granddad granddad what the fuck was anyway anyways so yeah Megan was very involved I think with helping put together his birthday party they both looked very ecstatic oh yes Megan this red you got the comments on the red can we have a moment of silence for the polka dot dress the white dress with the black polka dots i yeah i know that i i mean you know queer but i've never felt gayer yes megan's body is i've never felt straight is so perfect like she's really don't make no goddamn sense how fine she is the way that thing move oh my god man jesus and she just went that was just her going to the beach jesus christ she is so fun oh i just love to see them together they are so cute yeah love her man her man her man oh yes she booked his favorite rap group green thugs and harmony to the whole and he up on stage just grinning he's having a fucking time he's like yes niggas who love bone thugs niggas whose favorite rap group is bone thugs only the niggas that i know are spiritual good i'm talking about niggas that carry an ar and cry right right like i don't want gonna have to blow the block up kill her body because i love them but don't push me yeah actually you snatch my little sister so you do have to die but i don't want to do this yeah oh i agree i think they're super cute i told you i feel like clay to me seemed like he just can't wait to be on and now probably like old with her there's some kids running around i'm telling you i feel like one day they were laid up somewhere he fell asleep watching anime with her on her titties and she just looked down at him like yeah that's it and i know he was knocked down on them titties who probably had a nipple in his mouth and just put him to sleep he just fell asleep like the mouth wide open with the nipple hanging out i'm like oh god i'm exactly where i want to be do not wake me up oh he was so happy with his little sailor cake they do look very happy with his parents and everything i just love the idea that meg has found a family that really loves her and cherishes her and oh it just makes me so happy i'm like i i don't think i could be happier if i was in this relationship i just love to see i just feel like i'm wanting you know for once i feel like my fuck boyometer is not going on when i'm like gathering these things i don't want to jinx it but they genuinely just seem like a vibe and it gives me like they they these might be the one yeah so good for them on the other hand whose fuck boyometer has been going off for me for a while is stefan digg so let's just get into that i don't know what you mean oh you don't that's a good man that's interesting well let me catch you up good man oh speaking of 50 cent this nigga posted I think the day after the Super Bowl imagine you wake up today and you lost your bitch at the Super Bowl one of your bitches real sad also this lineup is real sad Stephon did you not get it I told you most of the time I don't see what y'all see in him it's rare that I see I don't know you didn't feel like you needed to do something I mean it's the Super Bowl but you know Okay. I do not know. Horrible. I mean, I need a haircut right now, but I'm not on the world's biggest stage. Yeah. This is a tangled web of fuckery. I don't even know where to begin. Okay, so the girlies were like, oh, my goodness. Cardi unfollowed Stefan right before the game. there was also like a video of her on a red carpet somewhere and a reporter asked her if she had any like what encouraging words she had for Stefan before the game and she just looked and smiled and said good luck. That was hilarious. Oh I laughed. I thought she hates that nigga. She's over it. She was like look at her eyes. She was disgusted. But she kept it cute. She really did. I know what you wanted to say sister. Yeah. We definitely do. She kept it cute. You know, the streets say Stefan Diggs have about three fo' holes at the end of the party. I don't know what is going on. I don't know what is going on. One of them is the woman that he allegedly had a baby with. Well, not allegedly. That he did have a baby with in November. So why wouldn't she be invited? She had a baby mama just like Cardi. Why wouldn't she be? She's sitting over there with his family talking about I love you before kickoff. apparently one of his other girls that i think they say okay this is alleged i don't know if this is true or not but one of these women can't remember her name is someone that allegedly um offset cheated oh yes i heard that same thing and then i guess he she went over to Stefan or something? Hmm. I don't know that. No, okay. I thought he went up to her. I think she was Stefan's baby mama first, or they were in their relationship, whatever. She was connected to Stefan romantically. Then, it sounds like, went to off-set, like went to one of his concerts, they hung out afterwards, whatever. And she tried to play it off like, oh, I guess if I go to a Beyonce concert. I'm going to be, they're going to say I'm fucking her too. Girl, don't act good. And yeah, Cardi was there, I guess, to shake that ass and shimmy shake for Miss Bad Bunny and get her like, she was going to be there anyway. You know who won this game? Me. Yeah. And didn't have to get on a microphone or nothing, just was cute, hair, beautiful face, beat, cute outfit, and was there to party with her people. You know that? I thought her role in the Super Bowl performance was just fine. But I also didn't see an issue with Stefan inviting people who also gave birth to his children in the past six to eight months to be there, because why wouldn't they? His kids can't come watch him. That's true. Watch him. Whatever. You know, people do that. They bring their kids to the game. So, yeah. Yeah. It makes sense. And we obviously don't know a lot of the, you know, combinations and nuances and petty group chats and texts and back and forth and DMs and shit. But, you know, given what we do have in front of us, seems like Belcalese has had enough. She said, me and my baby gonna be and yeah, so here's the thing, Cardi, because, you know, I've already got a plan. I've been having a plan because I knew we were coming here, right? So here's what we're going to do. Here's what we're going to do. We are having at least bi-weekly Zooms with the lady. Okay? We're getting her, but we're having, because you have to go on the road, you have the children. You tell the label, management, publicist, whoever the fuck, I don't care how, but we are making sure that I have the Zoom with the lady. Matter of fact, you're rich. You could probably just have a therapist come on the road with you. You are speaking to the lady. That has to happen. I think the kids are going to have to speak to the lady eventually as well. So that's what I think we need to do. Alongside that, we're entering Single Summer Cardi. Going on her first tour. It needs to be fuck these niggas. Matter of fact, record a diss record tonight, bitch. Record a diss record for all these niggas. name names and drop it right before the tour performing every night. Put their faces up on screen Hot 97 Summer Jam style. You could probably just like censor out their eyes or something. There's probably legal loopholes where you could do that. Drag these niggas. Fuck these niggas season. That one's calling my drama. Bitch. Fuck these niggas. Ooh, merch. With merch. Yeah. With a, you know, some famous line, popular line from whatever this song is that you're talking about. I'm sure that would sell out. And I think that's a good idea, especially the closer we get to summer, like in April, May. I think this is a really great idea. But the tour starts tonight, Wednesday, February 11th. The tour starts in a few hours. Oh, shit. Maybe not for these first couple of months worth of dates. And the tour ought to be wrapped up by summer, I'm pretty sure. But something. Where there's will, there's a way. Exactly. and if it's good enough we'll probably pop into a studio or something girl and you know it girl sell a football at the shows that say pretty and petty on it i'm just you know we're full of ideas we're spitball you gotta help her out because this is because i saw this nigga as a fuck nigga in front of oh yeah well i didn't know it was gonna be this outside I don't give a fuck message but I mean he does kind of give offset too for now when you offset with even more money imagine yeah so I mean you know I've already said everything that needs to be said about this nigga I am genuinely wishing her and her baby the best I hope the tour is good I really really do I want it to be did you see her perform Bodega Babby on SNL I did Mm-hmm Okay Share your thoughts With Cardi B's Recent Performance Yeah Well Remember when I said That Cardi was gonna Look incredible Come out there Give you a little One-two But the backgrounds And the dancers And the set And all that Was gonna be carrying The majority of What constitutes A performance You don't think Compared to the rap girls Compared Today I don't You don't think, I'm not saying she's Sierra. I didn't say it was bad, but I forgot about it until you just now. Like, I didn't go back and re-watch it like I did Benito Bowl. I watched it, I was like, oh, that was cute, you know, cultural. Why didn't you tell me that's what it was called? I said Super Bunny. Well, Super Bunny's cute too, but Benito Bowl is just kind of right there. Super Bunny's adorable. I like that. so yeah this is exactly what older it was a good performance on SNL it was exactly what I expected it to be I thought it was really cute too Kim Kardashian and Louis Hamilton I guess they date in a cute couple Glorilla and Brorilla I'm okay because you know what it gets to a part where we all have to just be honest and that's just the line that i refused i can say it community gorilla is absolutely hated that up i did not make that up that fucking oh my god i'm not saying you made it up but jesus you brought it to me my god Gorilla Gorilla oh my god that is hilarious yeah so if you guys don't know Gorilla and her sister Victoria have which I love that their names rhyme Victoria Gloria yeah that's right well they're not having a good time they're not seeing eye to eye and in fact i would say they are openly dragging each other um seems like glorilla's winning but for context bro rilla went on the internet and said that um you know glow hasn't been helping the family financially she isn't taking care of her parents and they need money and everybody's struggling and isn't she not shit for that and so people went to Glorilla's doorstep the first thing I saw was Glorilla saying ask her why she was still that she had three abortions now Crystal I just got off I just got off God's internet I just got off God's internet and I played the most innocent game I could I might have played Super Mario Maker or some shit because I just needed a second sometimes it takes us a while to find our way in life listen you gotta make sure that you're right this whole situation is when I found out that that family has 10 fucking kids I said oh You think I'm gonna be Supporting 11 Grown niggas I don't have that kind of Fucking money How much money that's not how that works If I said okay Mama daddy retired everybody else do whatever You want to do when push Come to shove I'll pay your rent I'll pay Your bills I'll take care of your car payment and all that She would be out of money by the end of the year You niggas would drain Her dry furthermore me I'm gonna take care of my parents willfully too the rest of y'all yeah like if there's like an emergency or you know birthday coming up all the little boo-boos you won't but it's 10 of y'all niggas one of y'all better go up here and get a job I'm not taking care of you oh no it's 10 of y'all 10 of y'all need to go get a job the fuck fuck no and i don't know what glorilla's relationship is like with her parents if they still have to work then oh well then oh fucking well on live with her mama on the phone to clear all of this stuff up she was like mama toria said she gave you 1300 last month or something like that now tell them how much money she owed you before that 1200 she was like mama what happened with you what what do i do every month or what happens every month ever since i became famous her mama was like oh you pay my rent well and you offered to buy me a house but i told you i want no house mind you have to go look at the clip of this because that's where mama is clearing the stuff up on the phone I know her face is like She's like Got you bitch Okay I'm glad they did that The girl went on TMZ Oh wow Talking about it Talking to that white man Wow Well This is what happens when you decide to come to the internet And be messy what you should have said is Glow don't take care of me I still have to work I still have to go clock in down to the FedEx or else I don't have anything. And my sister won't sit back and financially float me so that I don't have to do nothing but sliding girls DMs all day. That's what you should have did. Instead of making it about the whole damn family because mama said, oh, no, actually, you know, yeah, I work. But rent is everybody's biggest bill. And I ain't got to pay that. Oh, speaking of. Girl, let me tell you what the daddy said on the live. the daddy said Victoria need her motherfucking ass okay so everybody she know better I was like god damn but then I saw a screenshot from one of the brothers allegedly who was like oh you know I didn't say nothing about this or whatever but she don't take care of the family but I don't need anything and I'll never hate on my invention. He put this part in caps, all caps. I'll never hate on my invention. Talking about Glorello. She wouldn't be who she is without me. I introduced a mic to the family. Why would I give y'all anything? I wouldn't give y'all bitches a mic. I wouldn't have a watch. This whole story, I say, you know, I'm just going to thank God once again that everybody in my family works. Every single one of them niggas of working age works and they don't ask me for shit. When I give, I get to give freely of my heart. Right. They desire to have their own things. Nobody wants to live off of me. It's probably one of the greatest privileges of my life that niggas are not hitting me up because, I mean, first of all, you're going to get your feelings hurt. Asking me for a significant amount of money over and over again, yeah, you're going to get your feelings hurt. But this whole thing, I saw that the cousin had posted some screenshots talking. um yeah well she was defending glow saying you know you the i didn't know her name was victoria i've been calling her bro rilla that they're like bro rilla a lie but she go by scarface of course uh but basically the cousin was like showing screenshots of every time the this girl's birthday come around she texts her hey cuz love you send me your cash tag you know like doing shit like that and i do that same thing for like my little cousins and stuff like i send money on birthdays Christmas shit like that but what do y'all expect her to do when you are in your 20s 30s 40s 50s fully able bodied and capable of working get a fucking job the moment that the mama and daddy were like we straight you help out and on top of that we are not looking for anything the mama clearly said I didn't want you to buy me a house okay then because i was i didn't want a house right now and i travel with you a lot so it wasn't even like i didn't want to have a house so i agree it seems like maybe a couple of the siblings at least these two feel some type of way that she done took off and i guess they're just regular memphis i mean that are related to and they all look like so i You can't go nowhere without people being like, you can't go because y'all do all look alike. Y'all got all that same face. So that might be annoying that you are just at the UPS store and people are constantly like, oh, my God, why Glorilla sister got a job? But I can't imagine that I would be annoyed. Explain to niggas that when y'all Google and Google AI tells you that Glorilla has a two million dollar net worth. First of all, that's probably a lie. But secondly, even if it is true, net worth does not equal dollars in the bank. And even if it did, if she's constantly financing everybody she knows, she's not going to have a network of anything. How much actual cash she has on hand, I don't know. But like you, this young gentle stud, you can work. You can get a fucking job. Oh, you can absolutely. Girl, you know how much wood there must be to break down on this? Somebody hiring help at they barbecue shack. Somebody hiring somewhere. Absolutely. It's a Home Depot or Lowe's near you that would love to see you. You need to go install ceiling fans something, baby. Get you a job. Girl. I'm just saying, to your point, I have nine other siblings. Yeah. It's not happening. On top of how many cousins. I can just be wheeling and dealing and everywhere because y'all want five thousand dollars a month each or so i don't have that what elementary school teachers can tell us if you have some candy you need to have some for everybody well and that's why you had to you had to pass it out later not in the middle of class same with these birthday party invitations you can't bring them to school and not give one to everybody otherwise you're gonna have like if you want to exclude people you're gonna have to do that on your own time but i don't know why you thought like you're you're simply gonna have to work and i saw that somebody gave her four thousand dollars and then she turned around and bought a thirty two hundred dollar chain i said this is why you don't have shit i saw a video of i saw tori lane sent her 25 because she went on tmz and said 2,500 would make it right okay so again that's Is that another sign that you just need a job? Because $2,500 is really not shit in the grand scheme of things, babe. Or maybe you shouldn't get a job yet because who knows what you do with your money. Right, because if you had $4,000 and then spent $3,200 on a chain and then was talking about I got $500, you going on live talking about you'll give away $500 to anybody who will roast this hoe talking about your sister. Wait, wait, wait. You don't have $500. You're mad because your sister is giving away, is not giving the family money. And simultaneously you are offering strangers money. Hundreds of it. Hundreds of dollars. You don't have it to give, baby girl. I see why don't nobody support you. Because the decisions you make financially are terrible. You came into a few little dollars. And your behavior is toxic as shit. Right. I said, damn, well, this... I don't think this went the way you thought it was going to go. Because all the comments I saw were like, I also am not supporting 11 grown people. More than half of y'all, especially if I don't like them and they don't like me. Especially that. Mom and daddy cleared it up, said we not we not wanting for nothing. But pays mama rent every month. What the fuck else do I have to? I don't have shit to explain to you niggas. and let me tell you what stud face said after that she got in the car and she was like i don't know why mama would say that i'm gonna have to um clear this up because i don't even know why she would say that and then my dad ain't nothing but a broke-ass nigga with can you put oh no he said she said a broke-ass trick can't even put uh gas in his car this was after oh the car that global parents obviously but the thing is she never showed any actual text messages from the mama the text she showed was her mama talking about cooking or something like that and then she posted some other screenshot from a screenshot from an app i never heard of that was like a completely different sentiment which leads me to believe that that was not real but what she also did on that live was leak her mama's phone number all right like i gotta show your numbers you know yep that's her number right that's her number bitch we don't know oh god you see how family is so fucking embarrassing girl yuck how gross it's giving and you telling me that she she got this amount of cash and used most of it to go to get a chain screams you are trying to follow behind your sister keep up with your sister you want to be and baby i am begging you to just go and pilot a tractor somewhere you know i'm saying like yeah i'm you gonna go get your cdl go do that and drive a truck but this is really ridiculous fucking john deere and hit the block the block and if your daddy is a broke-ass trick who don't know don't have enough money to fill up his gas tank or well, then maybe you got it from him. And maybe just don't fall too far from the treating because, wow, can't say it enough. Get a fucking job. Bro-girl is just fantastic. Yeah, the internet is really hell for that. She should reclaim it. Just take it. I would use it. That's fierce. She might. I don't think she's above stunts and shows and tricks and ridiculousness to keep trending. I disagree because how the fuck your sister don't say how you said and you had three abortions and then belly dance while she's clearing you on Instagram live. Bitch, you from Memphis too. I know you got reads. You were like, get us with the laughs. No? No, I don't think so. Well, that is going to be it in the name of BroRilla because that one almost killed me. So we're going to wrap up the Hot Tops there. Take a break and come back. We are back ladies, germs and everyone around those. We're back with your letters. Yes. Yes, we are. Send your questions to asktheread at gmail.com. We may read them aloud on the show. We do have an update this week from Macy. If you remember, Macy emailed us last week about her time with her therapist ending soon and how to handle it. And so she said, hey, y'all, my time with my amazing therapist ended about a month and a half ago. And oddly enough, she popped up in my Facebook friend recommendations yesterday. So hearing you read the letter that I wrote put me squarely in my feelings because I still miss her dearly. During our last session, she affirmed me and highlighted some of the ways that I've grown during our time together. And we came up with a game plan for me to take a couple of months off before starting the search for a replacement. I already have a few consultations scheduled in the next few weeks, and I'm looking forward to finding a good fit. In the meantime, I finally looped my PCP in on my anxiety diagnosis, and I'm also getting comfy in my new chapter as Alexa ProBaddy. Thank you so much for taking the time to give your input. I appreciate you, Macy. Crystal thank you for having Dr. Raquel on Crystal's couch That episode was released right before my last session And it really helped me put my thoughts and words together As our time drew to a close Oh Macy I so glad that all of that was helpful for you As you can tell we a couple months behind on this sandbox It just a lot of letters But I glad it was helpful babe Good luck finding a new one. Okay. First letter this week is from Anissa, who says, I've been in a relationship for a little over four months, and things have been going great. Our only setback is that there is a two-and-a-half-hour drive between us, but we make it work by taking turns driving back and forth every week. Two weeks ago, my boyfriend was supposed to come to me, but he was having car issues I volunteered to make the drive, but he insisted we wait I reminded him that I had to attend a friend's wedding as well as a work trip immediately afterwards So we wouldn't be able to see each other for a couple of weeks And that I was fine with driving and would fly out of his city for my travels He reluctantly accepted and I hopped in my car When I got to his place, things were different It was spotless, which is nice, but he had also replaced a lot of furniture. The weirdest part of all was that he suddenly had a cat. He assured me that he just wanted to change and that he found the cat during the recent snowstorm. This nigga got a cat and new furniture? When I asked why he hadn't brought these things up, he said he wanted to see my reaction. I was a little suspicious but I was mostly just so happy to see my man again he kept us very busy for the three days I was there tickets to musicals, shows, nice meals shopping and other adventures when I finally got in my car heading to the airport I was exhausted I was so tired that I thought I hallucinated seeing a mouse scurry across my passenger seat but I sat up with one eye on the road and the other firmly fixated on a real live mouse in my fucking car. Where is this going? I quickly pulled over while screaming and crying. I opened all the doors to let the mouse out, and people stared as they drove past while I ran around screaming. Oh, my God. I finally got back in the car to see the mouse had left, and that's when I noticed a hole in one of my suitcases. Oh, my word. I immediately panicked because this suitcase held my bridesmaid's dress and items for the wedding. I carefully opened the bag and immediately noticed several mouse droppings. There were no holes in the dress. However, that little fucker found a piece of carefully wrapped cake and oil and frosting seeped through the satin bag holding my dress and all over my wigs and makeup. I called my boyfriend and the first thing he said was, you have to be better at keeping your car clean. Girl, hell no! Girl, I I would have hit the quickest you turn. I'm so sorry, babe. I can't come. Listen. To which I replied that that mouse wouldn't be in my car if they weren't first in his house. He seemed offended by this, but to me, it all started to add up. The house being so clean, new furniture, keeping me out the house. And a cat. And the cat. I was able to make my flight and immediately had to find dry cleaners for my dress the day before the wedding. And he was very unhelpful during this time. He continues to deny his involvement and even blamed me for trying to see him and squeeze in travels at the same time, resulting in me experiencing a series of unfortunate events. We have yet to see each other again. Every time we talk, we argue. I know this is a stupid argument, but I feel gaslit and unsupported. Is there any way we can mend our relationship? Love you both, Anissa. Oh, man. you know sometimes when they end it with like is there any way to fix the relationship I feel disrespected I feel like sometimes I feel like like who do you think we are? you obviously want to hear from these two brash fags that you shouldn't like be with this like maybe it sticks you know they say like sometimes you have to hear from people you don't know or people don't know you Anissa I caught it within seconds of you describing this you feel like you were gaslit and unsupported because both of those things were taking fucking place yeah yes okay for those of you who have been around for a while you'll remember the mouse era of my oh my god the way I forgot about that until just now you so if you do remember you'll understand that I have a particular sensitivity when it comes to yeah you do and especially their placement in my things or my oh yeah I believe that mice should be outside or just cleverly tucked away in a wall like Jerry where they only come out when I'm asleep to take a piece of cheese and I never see them again. I want my mouth to be stealthy. I don't know they're there. I don't hear them. They have a little bed in the wall where they go to sleep and that's it. Yeah. So let's just start with Laiwan. Oh, my car is fucked up so I can't come to you. The car has mice in it. alright cool I'll come to you then no no it's fine don't come I gotta pee here's my in the home that you want to live still in you go anyway instead of this thing of being like I gotta call the exterminator first he's like yeah sure drive two and one half of God's living hours to my rat infested residence lay up with me watch these games that you don't give a fuck about watch me fall asleep to sisters all the while the mice that I know are in here have accosted bombarded and infiltrated your belongings and then they shit and then they shit all over your things your wigs your makeup They're just gnawing at your little highlighter and your fucking Fenty Beauty and all this other goddamn shit. And you don't even say nothing to you. You in the car, the mice hop out. Oh, where are we going? Let me ride a passenger. What? Now there's a hole in your luggage, shit in your belongings, cake over your dress. And this nigga is lying. You got to be cleaner. Bitch, are you okay? Are you dizzy? did you hit your head? What are you talking about? I never had no goddamn mice in my life. All of a sudden, I come to kick you with you for three days. After you seemed bewildered and flimmoxed. And now I have a mouse problem? Are you okay? Oh, well, you're the one who wanted to force those of your whoops here. How do you mend the relationship, Anissa? You fucking don't. Are you cool? Are you okay? why do y'all want us to yell at you this man placed mice into your things and they shit on them and then you had to find last minute last minute you spent the gas to this fuck nigga's house you spent the gas to the airport in fact in fact you situated the schedule so that you could just go from the house to the airport. That's how bad you want to see this lying-ass fuck nigga. Then he continued to fucking lie to you on the way to the dry cleaning that you have to pay for. Do you know how much fucking dry cleaning costs? I do. Especially for formal gowns like that. That's exactly. And you wouldn't have to have done that. Right. It's a day before the fucking wedding. So it's even more. mend what? You need to have him pay to mend your suitcase. Yeah. I'm finished. Anissa, I do agree with you, Yuri. Droppings. Droppings. The whole you need to keep your car cleaner would have sent me over the fucking edge, nigga. There wasn't no mice. clue. Feasting in my suitcase on the way to your house. Flames. Right. Flames. Flames. On the side of my face. Breathing. Burning. I think once I saw that, I would have had to pull over. Yeah, I'm going to actually have to block you. No, dead ass. Like, so for real. And I think, you know, it's possible that your boyfriend is just so ashamed that he had mice that he just couldn't say it. But turning it around and putting it on you is the worst possible way to handle that. Insane. First of all, sure, you know, I understand people being embarrassed if they have a pest problem. Yeah. But people have pests problems. They do. It happens. Exterminators are in business for a reason. Pests exist. All you would have to say is like, I need to call an exterminator. I don't want you up here when it looks good. We're just going to break up with you. Right. In fact, I would have appreciated that so much. Yes. I would have taken a video of the house and been like, babe, I found mice. Look, I had to get brand new furniture. I got a cat now. Meet Waldo. Like, I can't have you coming up here right now. I'm so sorry. I'll wait until the exterminator comes and then you could come visit. I would have, I think Anissa would have been like, oh my God, thank you for telling me because if it had been a mouse in my suitcase, oh my God. what if it had ruined my dress i would have lost my mind like hit you when i get back you can't anisa probably would have checked in how's the mouth right like this just didn't happen the fact that he turned around and like you said then he turned it around on you to make it even worse and and even now he still is denying it and trying to blame you for being like well that's why you shouldn't have came down here to see me before you was traveling like okay nigga all right all it so y'all have been together for four months gone and leave just leave yeah don't mend shit ain't no couples counseling for this a nigga that will lie to you like that and stand 10 toes down on the lie and try to put it on you is really trying to make you believe that somehow this is your fault you you have to this relationship is over anisa it ain't no way like i said the cardi is you know down with fuck nigga season so you know start picking out your summer outfits now and get ready to throw ass this is ridiculous we barely talked about it right after the cleaning your car thing I would have as soon as I touched down I would have shit this nigga mousetraps I'm like blocked him on everything and just the pettiest thing that I could think of you got me right that I'd have been sending them little traps and shit to his fucking house if you had called him about the mouse thing and he said babe I'm so sorry I was so embarrassed I was praying that this wouldn't affect you let me replace your suitcase let me pay to have the dress cleaned let me just like that would have been better even since he couldn't be honest up front when he was confronted about it he was honest and did his best to repair this nigga is still trying to put it on you girl it ain't nothing to save here insane he's a fucked up person leave him it's not even just like oh there was a mouse in my car yikes it's like a mouse was in my car and I only saw it after I saw that it destroyed my things and both of these things took place because of you you had numerous opportunities to tell me what was going on and then you had a number of them as Crystal just said to make up for it you said you had to go to the dry cleaning and all that stuff and he was being unsupportive what he don't get to do that because this is his fault I feel like you could take this nigga to small planes for it really could and be like your honor this nigga got a cat and then told me it was just because he found it during the snowstorm no you found a mouse and said i need a cat no and where there's one mouse there are hella others and that is why you had to replace all of your furniture because them niggas ate chewed they went right through it yuck oh then you had an infestation that's what it sounds like babe yuck three days and they fucked my shit up like this right you could have just told me the truth and now we can't be together no more because you couldn't tell the truth in the beginning and then when you were called out on it you tripled down on on your lie and put it on me you didn't even say babe but maybe those are cinderella's mice and they thought they were building you a dress and instead they messed it like he didn't even he he made it your fault he said you know you got taco bell in that car that's up there with it was a compilation babe i wasn't watching my ex porn and she was just in a compilation of nut videos yeah fuck this nigga anisa good luck finding another one forever whoa yikes please update the fuck out of you all right all right next letter comes from marco who says hi chris lane kifuri my ex told me he didn't want us to have sex anymore and i agreed one day we were hanging out doing yoga watching movies nothing too scandalous i was being respectful even though my inner goblin was doing backflips later that night he made a comment about how he used to stretch me like like them yoga poses when we used to hook up okay so you know that's not okay that one tiny sentence flipped the switch and suddenly my brain said you know what let's be unserious today i flirted back and then we agreed to hook up later in the week so y'all went from i don't have sex no more to let's later this week because of a yoga pose oh the gays you know all right fast forward to the main event sex happens afterward he reveals these rules that he conveniently did not tell me beforehand because he already knew i would say no one of the rules was that he wants to sleep with other people too but will still sleep with me he said he'd use protection with others but go raw with me and i I did not like that at all. I don't share well. I am not a community garden. What hurt wasn't just the rules. It was the strategy. He admitted he hid the rules because he knew it would change my answer. And that made me feel played. I told him I needed space. He later sent me a voice message crying about how he ruined our friendship and how this was his fault. I forgave him for hiding the rules, but the vibe was on life support. We tried talking again, but our energy was way off. On top of that, he's about to get super busy with work and he still wants the freedom to hook up with other people. I realized I'd be sitting around wanting him while he's out living his best life. And that would slowly turn me into a main character in some tragic gay indie film. So I told him. I was going to say Tyler Perry, but he's a guy. So I told him we should just be platonic friends and not fuck around anymore. did I do the emotionally mature thing in this situation or am I just a horny dramatic little Mexican who hates to share and misses good intimacy please advise before I text this man something I'll regret with love and theatrics Marco love it um what was that last oh it was um Marco said was he emotionally mature thing yes or he's just pretty entramatic. In saying that you want to just be platonic friends? I mean, I guess or maybe with the way you handled the whole situation. I don't know if that has anything to do with your major. I don't know. It sounds just like a very complicated tied up but also manipulative set of scenarios and situations. First of all, I was very I didn't take that first sentence while correctly. I thought you meant that he said that you shouldn't have sex anymore and you agreed that you shouldn't have sex anymore. That is. Rather than like I agreed with him like I thought that you meant like oh yeah I also don't want to I'm glad that we agree that's the way I said it no no no no no I get yeah halfway through I was like oh okay um yeah I think it is weird to be like to do this shit with someone's emotions and feelings where it's like I'm gonna open the gate unless you get closer I'm gonna shut the gate again oh you gotta be quicker than that like it's just so like bitch you don't want to fuck and then you're telling me ooh I want to stretch you out and then you're like ooh but I want to fuck other people but I'm not going to tell you because girl if you don't go find somebody else to go and fuck around with it's Cardi's fuck these niggas season and I'm getting my kushi cutters ready for this time like that's gross and I think to be honest with you I wouldn't even want to be Sonic friends. I wouldn't even be one of you. I mean, I wouldn't desire to like hate this person. I wouldn't even expect to never speak to him again. If we didn't, I'd be fine with it. But yeah, I wouldn't even continue speaking to him. To be honest with you, I would at the very least be taking an extended break from conversation, connection anything like that because it is clear that you have feelings that are deeper than sex you even agreed not to but still what have you and it's clear that he knows that and he's still kind of pushing and pulling and playing around with you and making rules but then having hidden rules like he had Starbucks menu bitch go play with somebody else like i got time for that and there's way too many niggas out here this whole rules thing um as i heard that i'm like what the fuck are you talking about are you my fourth grade teacher there's no rules we're not together and rule is the wrong word to use anyway like that thank you rules are something that like a person in power establishes that you have to follow that's not But that was the wrong word. Now, I assumed that y'all were just going to fuck around this one time and then stop. But that was a foolish assumption on my part. Y'all clearly were talking about even though you said you didn't want to have sex no more, like y'all agreed on that. Y'all immediately reneged on that and said, actually, let's do it again. And so I guess you all were planning to restart your sexual relationship without being in without being together. And I usually will advise people to not do that, especially in the case of like this. I think it works better if y'all were never in a romantic relationship and y'all are just fuck buddies. But this whole we use today, but now we're trying to be friends, but we still sleeping together. Girl, stop deluding yourself. No, it's not what you want or he want or whatever. Like somebody's feelings always get hurt in these situations. So I think telling him, I think the this was a good idea to say, you know, we can just be platonic friends. But I also think it's fine to say that and then not actually reach out and try to be friends. I think you have feelings for him. You said, I mean, the fact that you didn't want to have a sexual relationship knowing that he was also going to sleep with other people lets me know that you have feelings for him. Exactly. I'm not a community guard. Right? Like, what do you mean? Because I honestly, if the sex is that good, I would have been fine with you fucking other people as long as, look, you like nine to five on the weekend, you know? I know that's. I would have been fine with that. But you I think you very obviously still have a thing for this man. And so it's probably for the best that y'all just cut it off here and you cut your losses and go your separate ways. But yeah, this is, I don't know, gay mess. Just the sort of thing that our people do. Hiding, hiding the that whole rule thing is really throwing me off. because like how you think we we snuggling after we just fucked and now you like oh by the way i do want to fuck other people but i'll use condoms with them yeah rule one girl rule two my dick is still returning to normal and here you go what and right the fact that he hid it until after y'all had sex like you said he knew you was gonna have an issue with it but he still wanted some ass or whatever that's very fucked up that's very manipulative to to deliberately withhold information so that you can get something for your own benefit that's very manipulative so i don't even think you should be prioritizing this person as somebody who is a friend like i think it's time to cut him loose completely move on you can find friends that don't act like this so at least you didn't ask how we're supposed to mend it yeah and you're dropping well cause poor Anissa she's like it's been going great the only problem is the distance but no he's a mouse infested lion ass fuckboy he's a lion ass fuckboy for me cause it just didn't have to be that way but yeah good luck Marco with moving on and finding new friends and new people to fuck with I know you can do it alright guys That is going to wrap up the letters this week. Again, if you have a question for us, send it to asktheread at gmail.com. We'll be right back. We are back, folks. Isn't that time for the read? I will start because I genuinely believe that these will be great. Every week. I don't really have too much to say to these dumbass white people. I'm going to start with Kid Rock, who said that Jay-Z is a D-E-O. I missed that. No, he didn't. Let me Google this. No, he didn't. No, he did not. No, no. I respect him for his hustle and his music, but it seems like there's a little bit of DEI hire there going on. Black guys love Jay-Z. Black guys? What do the... Do you know who runs the NFL? It's not black guys. black guys are in the nfl but they don't run i'm not that ignorant i know a lot of us love jay-z not just black guys but in the league where you have this problem and seem like oh we'll bring him in listen again i'm not going to do too much jack and jay-z first of all jay-z can't be a dei or nowhere it literally makes absolutely no sense but regardless of what kind of hire he is for the nfl you were cracking a hire for turning point you are a free based hire for MAGA Jay-Z has more qualifications compared than you or any other cracker you could have named could possibly like what only thing that you're qualified to do is holler and look like something off a break The idea that the NFL wanted more black men to watch the Super Bowl is ridiculous. Black men are already watching the fuck out of the Super Bowl. That they needed Jay-Z to, what? Now, do I think this was a, y'all shut up with all that Colin Kaepernick take a knee thing? Yes. But the suggestion that he is a D, I hired, like he was just thrown in there. Like he's just some random nigga instead of Jay fucking, girl. and this is coming from Ken Rock okay alright meanwhile you look like the butler off a scary movie too bye performing at the fucking turning points halftime whatever the fuck show that everybody hated so you can get in the bin along with Jake Paul now this might be the first time I've ever talked about you or you've ever been Read because I really just try to pay you no mind Even though you have somehow finagled A position in The sport I watch I don't need you to ever talk about politics again Is giving Well first Jake Paul recently said That if you don't like Ice, you don't agree with ice Then don't call 911 First of all Jake I'm going to give you a bit of a newsflash here. 9-1-1 has absolutely nothing to do with ICE or enforcing immigration dispatching anything to those fucking idiots. 9-1-1 is an emergency service. It is a dispatch service for emergencies. People bleeding out inside of the road. Oh, there's a prowler in my home. Emergencies. In fact, if you call 911 in most places and be like, I think there's an illegal down the street that probably... Most places. So I don't know how much they offered you to say this dumb ass shit. They're like, okay, you're a famous white. Come on down. We got Nicki Minaj eating cookies in the back. Just, you know, we'll write you the check. But then they didn't give you a prompt of anything to say. It was just like freestyle. Because that didn't make no goddamn sense. Don't call 911 if you don't like ICE. What are you talking about? The same Jake Paul that lives in Puerto Rico? All right. What are you talking about, nigga? What? I thought you were going to talk about that fake American shit. when he called Bad Bunny a fake American. Oh, I don't know. Like, you live in Puerto Rico, though. Which is real colonized America. It's a real colony of ours. What are you talking about? This makes me even I was already happy to see AJ like crack your Anthony Joshua was running laps around your ugly ass and it was one of the most beautiful things I ever seen in my life and so this just kind of cements it I hope you beat your ass in here or anybody else for that matter but next time that you say some like MAGA thing get one of do like the podcast and the YouTube do tell them to send you a prompt say this don't say that and you know here you can just use some wiggle room 911 911 911 911 if you don't like ice don't call 911 if you don't like the police don't eat donuts what the fuck does that have to do with anything bitch I should not fucking dumbass you and this other bitch get in a bin and I got something for all of you hoes I'm awake this year bitch oh gosh I'm joking well so did you see the video that the White House posted with the Obamas as monkeys oh my God maybe my brain tried to forget it I can't believe how much shit happened this week I really don't have standards for this administration I know these are the worst people in the world And they'll do fucking anything But this is low even for you niggas They deleted it after like 12 hours They had their number one coon Tim Scott talking about how this is so racist And I hope It was actually surprising that there were Republicans Saying that the White House should delete this and apologize I mean it was so blatantly awful Right and it's The first part of the video is a bunch of Lies and conspiracy theories about Election tampering back in 2020 which bitch you're back in office Like what do you want? And then the very end of it being this clip of the Obamas being monkeys And so there was a press Conference or whatever Trump was Talking to the press on Air Force One and of course they asked him about it and he was like i mean i i looked at the video i didn't watch the whole thing you know there was some we were talking about some election voter fraud that happened in georgia back in 2020 which nobody talks about nobody's talking about the voter fraud but i didn't watch the whole thing so i just sent it along to the staffers and they posted it so the one person was like who who is the staffer like name name a name oh you can't name a name because the staffer is Donald J. Trump. Donald J. Trump. The call is coming from my house. And so they asked if he was going to apologize, and he said, no, I didn't make a mistake. So you posted or you authorized the posting of this video and allegedly didn't watch the whole thing but didn't make a mistake. How can that be? Was it not a mistake to not watch the whole video? Because you also said, oh, a lot of people found that offensive and I would have to if I had seen it. Like, OK. All right. So then did so then. So then the mistake was not watching the whole video. Right. The mistake was telling people to post something that you didn't actually something. So you should apologize. You're not going to apologize because you did this deliberately. yes you laughed y'all didn't delete it for a very long well in internet time 12 hours is a long time to have some shit like that up especially when it's the white house because y'all had thousands of comments talking about this like y'all knew what it was you did it on purpose and now you talk about oh well i didn't watch the whole thing it's not a big deal talk about the voter fraud girl you bitches are really full of it and i just couldn't believe that like stooping to that level for what like this like what you want to troll the country you just want to get people all up in arms and have them be mad knowing that it ain't shit anybody can really do about it and the people who do have the power not gonna do shit about it okay bitch speaking of bitches. Chris Brown got on Instagram after Benito Bowl. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Another one. Chris Brown got on Instagram and posted to his stories after the Super Bowl halftime show and said, I think it's safe to say they need me with a smirk emoji. And I just have to say, Christopher, we absolutely do not. We really don't. First of all, that performance was good. What are you talking about? It was a great show What do you mean they need you Nobody thought it was boring Nobody thought it sucked Nobody thought it was whack It didn't flop It's the most viewed Super Bowl halftime show of all time It was great bitch What are you talking about They need you to do what Come and do some back flips Start sweating like a fucking coke head Parking lot pimpin Do they need you at the Wetzels Oh you're going to do a DoorDash ad Need you to do what? Even without Jay-Z standing in the way of you being the Super Bowl halftime performer Christopher I think you perhaps do not understand that you are what's known as a liability And most massive companies are not going to touch you Because of all the risks that come along with being associated with you To this day, you are not accountable for your shit. And that is reflected in the way you acted after this halftime show. Nobody needed you to post this. And then afterwards, he was like, oh, I just love pissing y'all off. I love I ain't gonna lie. I just love when I piss y'all off with the crying laughing emojis like girl. Why? So you're Trump. You're just posting shit to get under people's skin and make them annoyed. Oh, my God, real union said you get the girl, the job, get the job. Yeah. Get the part. Like, no, you're not going to get the part. And that's just what it is. And saying that after that incredible performance made zero sense. It wasn't like it was just it's not like Kid Rock did a show. And then he was like, oh, y'all need me. OK, I will let you slide on that because I'm sure you can put on a better show than Chris Rock. but that was excellent Chris Rock we actually don't need you doing that double mint gum song that you was gonna do with the strobe lights and all that forever that actually do not need it you already know do the kids know that that song was for gum oh it was a good song even though it was for chewing next up on my list of bitches cory holcomb girl step up if you remember a month or two ago cory holcomb holcomb however you say y'all know country this video came out of him punching another comedian christina paine in the face outside of a comedy club he had previously denied it um but you know video will tell the truth when niggas won't and he got on his podcast he has a podcast called 5150 and i'm like as in the psychiatric cult as in the grippy socks hey what are you talking about like an involuntary 5150 like what i don't know what that means i don't know what his context is for that but there's this minute and a half clip from this episode where he talks about how TMZ has ruined his life and they got him good with this one you got me you got me good I'm finna be in the poverty line I'm finna be on food stamps and apparently when this video came out he lost a lot of bookings, people have stopped calling the jobs have dropped punched a woman in the face and in the video of course there's no sound you can see the two of them there's a big crowd of people first of all um you can see that there's some sort of verbal altercation going but then he steps up and then just fucking socks her and then niggas jump in you know and it goes the way it goes but this whole thing about well you know people been saying shit about me for a long time but once tmz posts the video then you know what's done is done and you niggas talking about me is one thing but TMZ posting a video is a whole nother that's totally different and you know now I don't know what I'm gonna do to the jobs is drying up and it's TMZ's fault TMZ didn't punch that lady in the face bitch you did that like are you fucking okay you're not it's actually something wrong with you for you to be 57 years old and still incapable of taking responsibility for your own fucking actions. You hit that woman. You lied about it. The video coming out, that's not TMZ's fault. It's your fault because there wouldn't be a video had you not punched her. And I'm sure you publicly lying about it. He didn't get nothing but the footage. But you did it. It wouldn't be nothing to show if you had not fucking punched her. And then you lied about it. Right. Assuming that this shit would never come out i'm very glad it did i mean i never cared about him in the first fucking place not to hear that his bookings have dried up good you're gonna be in line down to the welfare good good because that's what you get for punching that girl for what i was so aghast like i was like i watched the video and i was like this thing is like no he'd like he does need a crowd of people because you just gonna go up and steal on a girl in her face really and then lie about it and then the truth comes out and you're like well it's all y'all's fault that i'm losing jobs and i'm about to be broke good and it's your fault you're the dumb bitch who did that to you we tmz and the fans and the people who booked you and then said oh never mind you crazy bitch that's nobody's fault but your own again you're pushing 60 maybe learn to keep your fucking hands to yourself last but not least y'all with these dogs oh boy bringing dogs into the grocery store wow you know what motivated this is that I've seen white people do it many times. And I just the city has a website where you can take pictures of people with their dogs in the store, submit a complaint, and then they will go find the store because the store is supposed to stop them from letting these people in. Oh, I have to look it up because I'm disgusted. Now, y'all know I have my dog. I love Lainey as if I gave birth to her my damn self. But she does not go places where dogs are not allowed because dogs are not allowed. but i saw a black woman do it the other day i said oh i'm fed the fuck up because why am i over here no because why am i over here picking out green onions and rutabagas and shit and then here come your dog sniffing along the goddamn produce i have never taken link into a and i do not understand it and i do not understand it why why do y'all bring i've never even taken her inside a restaurant I cannot take dogs into food service establishments because they don't fucking belong there. The one and only place I smuggled Lainey was to your show. And in my defense, I thought she was allowed because they didn't sell food. You did say that. I thought she was allowed because they didn't sell food. They were like, okay, no, don't do that again. And guess what I have not done since. And Lainey was also the size. And she was in my brassiere. Lainey was three pounds at that point. Nobody even knew she was there. I was sitting there chilling because she was under my bosom asleep. She did not give a... So, you know, but that's bad enough, okay? Like, I was wrong. My bad. Sure. However, food service establishments, you know you cannot bring your fucking dog in here. The grocery store got big-ass signs, no pets, service animals only. And what do you raggedy bitches do? bring your nasty ass dogs in here anyway why take that nigga home i understand sometimes you walk in the dog and you're like oh my god i'm gonna cook dinner i just need to run in here and get an onion i need to go some eggs blah blah i get that but you know what sometimes you have to be inconvenienced you have a dog and so you are inconvenienced yes that comes with having like kids or any other responsibility sometimes you're gonna be put out sometimes you have to go out of your way that is the choice that you made when you decided to take on this responsibility. Take that goddamn dog home. Why is this nigga sniffing all around the deli and they custom slices of cheese and they artisanal cupcakes and shit? And my grocery store is literally two blocks away from here. And there have been times where I'm walking Link and I'm like, oh, I need to go to the grocery store. I just, girl. You're going home. I walk her the other two. You're going home. And then I'm going out. And then I go to the grocery store. And it is a pain in the ass, especially when the wind chill is negative five degrees. Yes, it is. I understand. And at the same time, Lainey, who I could probably smuggle in a store for real under my coat. I still don't take her because that's nasty. If you have a Telfie, you see. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Don't let it have a zipper, please. Jeez. You're in there. I'm leaving you a little hole for some air and that's it. But I don't do that trifling shit. Leave your goddamn dog at home and pick up the shit on the sidewalk. Let me tell you something. Shit on the sidewalk is just so, it is just so egregious. It's so low for so many reasons. But shit on the sidewalk in New York is a different kind of beast because it is either freezing. And so it is now a shit rock. Or it is baking. And so it's a shit. Now you just smell shit for three blocks. Just get the. You said this already. So gross. If you have a dog. Now, if you do not want to cancel shit. Don't get a dog. Do not get a dog. It's part of the job. It is part of it. Pick up the poop. Or train the dog to go inside and then you can just collect them little puppy pads and throw them away. But either way, you have to dispose of shit. Pick it up. The snow and ice being everywhere is making the poops that y'all don't pick up that much more visible. And I'm disgusted. As somebody who does clean up after her dog, I'm disgusted by y'all. I don't know. and I've seen all races of people do it so I can't say niggas or anybody else I have seen all of y'all act like this with your animals and I don't fucking get it clean up after your god damn dog and leave it out of places where it is not allowed to be you got this nasty ass mutton here around the fucking carrots with a sweater on talking about my mommy made me wear it bitch your mommy need well it's not the mutt's fault but my just you right but i'm still fucking annoyed i'm irritated and and i i mean and i'm taking a picture and i'm reporting this and i know them employees are like i do not why the fuck do i have to stand at the door and turn you bitches away like you can't read the fucking sign that says your dog is not allowed to be in here they got two three big ass signs at the front of the grocery store no dogs no animals service animals only and y'all walk right past that like you cannot read and bring your fucking mutts in anyway so now the store is getting in trouble because them employees don't make enough to sit here and police the fuck out of y'all and y'all don't give a damn about the rest of us oh my god that is so true so now i gotta tell 411 uh it's dogs in the fucking grocery store and maybe some fines for this eating cheese it's out of there because maybe y'all need some fines to actually start enforcing the rules but that's how disgusting and fed up i am with this bullshit leave the fucking dog i barely see those signs i barely see those signs because it's just in me to be like i don't know i don't need i don't need i know she's not allowed she's not a service dog i'm not gonna pretend she is this bitch the way she'll forward roll and get on her and get on her back and expose her belly to anybody who looks at her service oh no you can tell she don't have like i don't understand don't have a job you can tell she don't she's not trying to do a damn thing but ask for love she's thirsty for y'all's attention she wants it bad oh baby the way lady will just roll over pussy out to the world anybody just anybody please come rub this belly it's not exclusive this is me i'm so pretty right these aren't they're so cute but every time i sit to the poop thing every time i walk on my dog especially on my block and i'll see because there's like a park nearby it's like a lot of people are walking right every time i see somebody on the street who uh dog poop and they keep walking i be wanting so bad I can holler them by Principal Joe Clark. Pick it up. Pick it up. Pick it up. Do you need a bag? I'll take you one of my bags, but pick this up. I have. Pick it up. The world doesn't belong to you. This isn't your private sidewalk. When you get a house with a yard, your dog can shit in your yard, and you don't have to pick it up as much as you want to. That's your private land that the rest of us don't get to be on. But the sidewalk belongs to everybody. In New York, we need the sidewalk. everybody goes on the fucking sidewalk constantly okay we walk here pick up after your fucking dog or don't have one especially given the fact that you have icebergs that have narrowed down the fucking sidewalk anyway so you don't even have that much space and then your dog's steaming pile of shit is right here in the middle of the limited space we have pick it up lazy bitch pick it up for now that is just violent like i don't get it disgusting i don't get it do you think you fertilize in the block what the fuck is wrong with y'all it's a rule that people have to pick up their dog shit just because the city wanted to get on your nerves or do you think it's a matter of public fucking death like you thought the city said oh yeah you carissa you in particular We want to piss you off. So we'll make a law that says you have to pick up your dog's shit. It's disgusting. We already have a rat problem. We don't need nothing to entice the rats. Pick it up. Not to mention, I said this before, like, other dogs will pass by some shit and it's like they're texting. Oh, yeah. Like, oh, let me see what Spike's talking about. Lainey want to see what's in the downloads. and I thankfully that now that she's gotten older she will kind of look at poop as we walk by and be like oh no no thank you but oh she's fully locked into piss she's reading the payment oh she's downloading the pdfs so is she doing the thing where it's just like you can't even get through one block oh we our walks the walk everywhere walks we we go outside for lanny's fun this is her exposure to the world. She don't get to go outside if I don't take her outside. So I'm patient with her, especially now that the temperature is a nice warm 30 degrees. We can go outside for a long time. When it was zero degrees, no. We're going outside to pee and then we're going right back upstairs. But she gets through most of the time. Take her time on these walks because I get that this is her time. But yes, she's fully upset. We can't go more than a few steps without her stopping to investigate somebody's urinary activity. Yeah. younger link was the same thing like when i first got her a lot of those walks were sniff walks because outside of smelling pee i've just it's fun for her i've always assumed that it's like oh let me get used to the get familiar with the environment and things and then after a while the walks were less sniffs and less sniffs more as we would like oh i know where we're going and i know we're gonna turn right here and then we're gonna go over there so on so far when i moved it was a similar thing. So she had to do a lot of sniffing. Not a new neighborhood. The fuck is this? And now she just be like, all right, yeah, we're going to go. Hurry up. Why are you not walking fast? So, yeah. Pick up the poop. Don't take the dogs. Take the goddamn dog home. It shouldn't even need to be set. Take it home. Poppy at the bodega do not want you to bring that dog in there while you order your fucking turkey, bacon, egg and cheese. Leave the nigga at home. And let me say something that like dogs love more than the scent of a Chris sandwich. Wide open space like you are like they would rather be out at the park or somewhere where they can run around. way more than smelling like potato chips and greens and cookies and shit. So. They can smell all that shit at the house. As someone who's deeply attached to her dog, leave that nigga at home. It's just, yes. Link is my child. She's my baby. I love this girl. I am obsessed with her. And she is still a young black American queen. and with that comes standards and some shit we just not pick up the phone and we do not put up there it was devastating to see a black woman have her dog in the grocery store I said oh this is really just last night when I was on the phone on FaceTime when she came and interrupted me and I told her to move it then she was like fussing around at the side of the bed just trying to get my attention and I said girl if you don't go find somewhere to go sit down and you know what she did hopped up on the bed and she sat her ass down and I jumped back on the phone and I was like I'm sorry I gotta talk about black men sometimes sometimes Lainey got up on the arm of the couch and then was looking at me like I needed to come get her down and I'm like you got your black ass up there now get down she ate your MacBook I said get your ass down and then she sat down I said no not sit down get down get your ass and then she gonna very slowly walk up like oh you bitch you are playing with me you are playing but you know that's fine my baby i love her but she don't go in the yeah she's still young i go to dinner with my friends i don't bring my fucking dog what's wrong with y'all it's so easy oh okay it's so easy even a summertime we outside you know when they'd be like out on the the sidewalk whenever when they open up the streets and shit even that well where they'd be having like the dog on a leash under the table i don't even that's not as bad because you're allowed to do that that is yeah that's different because you're not inside of a restaurant although i am still prone to leave ladies ass at home like bring her out for what she's gonna want fries she gonna beg somebody to drop something down that she can't eat then her poops are gonna be messed up for two days like no i'm not doing that i'm leaving her at home she wants to sleep dogs sleep like 17 18 hours a day if you let them. If you let them. If you don't dress them up and take them outside places they have no fucking business being. Leave the dog at home. Especially when it is simply not allowed. She's just not allowed. That bitch be up at seven. She run around like she run around like Sha'Carri. I'm talking about she goes to like daycare to see her homies and shit and they drop her back off I take the leash off of her and it's just like she sits still and the moment the leash comes off just breaks down the hallway to nowhere I follow her, I put the leash down I come in and she's just wagging her tail looking at me I'm like bitch A-U-O, B why are you so excited it really is but she's hyped until like 9pm or so she's looking to me like and lady won't go to bed unless I go to bed I tried to stay up late the other day to get her to go to bed without me and she just laid down at my feet and was like I'll just sleep right here we going to bed together I'm like alright nigga but yeah she'll age out of that life as well because Link gave me about four or five times maybe three and she's like alright I'm going to I'm trying not to rush these days where she's still acting like a puppy because I know I'm going to miss them but they are challenging to say the least at times but you know I still just don't take her where legally she cannot be and I feel like that's honestly the bare minimum I feel like it's right Yeah. Because you're not. Oh, lead them fucking dogs at home. And that will wrap up this week's episode of The Read. Find us on social media at ThisIsTheRead. Our website is ThisIsTheRead.com. Thank you so much, Jameela Bell, for being on this week's episode of Crystal's Couch. You can find all the episodes in our Patreon at Crystal'sCouch.com. Thank you so much to Apple Podcasts for the feature. It means a lot to me in my little show where I'm just, you know, doing my best to help out in my own little way. Yeah. What about you, Kid Fury? Any news from you this week? Nothing I would like to disclose. I would like a few years to go to KidFury.com as well as Patreon.com slash KidFury. For more information, our new February playlist just went up on Patreon. So you can go over there and if you're very kind, I'll show you my breast, mate. I love the word breast, if you haven't noticed. And I think it's because it ends in the... There's something about it that... When you say it, it reminds me of Trixie Mattel. I don't know why. There's something about you. That's how I get it from. And my breasts. I had my breasts. My huge breasts. My breasts were swinging in his face. it's just so funny just alright wrap this shit up take care of yourselves we will see y'all hoes next week happy black history