Welcome to the Horizon 2.1: New in Town

I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. Lemon Lemon Black!ick I knew this guy once. He had aspirations. Sweet smartines. He wanted to be a brew master. This is a common problem in Oregon because if you have a garage and a jug and the right paperwork, poof, you have a brewery in the eyes of the state. It's more micro breweries per capita than any other state. The whole thing was espresso stout and I don't mean the usual espresso stout that tastes like coffee. He was talking about literally combining beer and coffee. Imagine getting up in the morning and having your first beer and your first cup of coffee. How's that sound? Well, it sounds like an alcoholism fast pass is what it sounds like sweets and he responds, alcoholism is for quitters. Special guy. Anyway, one day we all look around and we realize we haven't seen sweets for a few days. This is a guy who never misses the day at the bar, right? So we don't think much of it. But dear sweet summer child, Deter. She thinks we've all got to go to a wellness check on him and I'm like, all of us already know he's unwell so check. But she won't let it go. So we all pile into her truck bed with roadies and we head over to his trailer. I have no idea what we're walking into. But if I had a hazmat suit in that moment, you know what I mean? So we're all standing there outside his trailer and all of us are a little bit buzzed at this point because how else are you going to go do something you don't want to do? Deirdre's tapping on his door, tap, tap, tap, sweet, sweet. We're all worried about you. Are you okay in there? Tap, tap, tap. Oh, enough already. I said I just kicked the door open. You guys not even HP Lovecraft could describe the smell that came out of that trailer. My eyes were watering. I think it literally stripped my nail polish off and somehow it was not the smell of sweets being dead. It was the smell of success. Turns out, sweets had finally cracked the code of his espresso beer combo and he drank so much of it that he proceeded to poop himself nearly to death for the next three days. It was a grim scene, my friends EMTs, gas masks had to get him out of there. They had to met a vacuum, the OHSU anyway. Anyway, he's a cop now. Why is everybody looking at me? Because the action is on you. Oh shit. It is? I'm sorry. I just thought of sweets and that whole story just came Russian back. Okay, my turn. Here we go. Looking at the cards. Looking at cards. I raise. Again? Hey, are we playing cards or are we playing cards here? You just told us a five minute story about your friend shedding himself. Right. That's guilty. I did do that. Apologies to the table. Okay, but to I raise 20. 20. Hey, relax. It's only money. Only money? It is money, right? That's what we're playing for. That's what these little rectangles are. No snorts. The action's on you. I'm sorry. What was your name again? Snorts. Snorts. I am snorts, my lord. The axe of the green army. Axe. Hey, there it is. The axe has eaten the souls of thousands. Well, that is a very impressive axe. Snorts. Quick question. You do realize that everyone else is carrying around laser guns these days, right? Who's still using laser guns? The axe is largely ceremonial. Ceremonial. You can see the blood stains on the blades, cyborg. You call it ceremonial. I'm just saying you can use other weapons. You're not getting into a gun fight with that. I will show you how ceremonial my axe is. Whoa, whoa, whoa, there it snorts. Don't need for axe play. Have yourself a seat. We're playing a game here. Where are you from, stranger? Me? You look like an earthling. Earthlings? No. No. No. No, I get a lot of that. Actually, I am from... Ten. Dad. Dee. Ken, daddy. Never heard of it. Have you not? Well, that's... not surprising. It's way out there, you know, way out there. Come and play this game, please. Oh my God, snorts. The action is on you. Is it? I knew that. Then go for it. Fine. I am all in. Oh, no, we're talking. Seriously, snorts. You do this every time. You doubt the strength of my hand. Every time we play, you go all in and you lose and then split the table in half with your ridiculous act. I have not split the table for at least three weeks and don't come at our ridiculous... Okay, snorts. No need to get upset. We respect your agency, okay? I hear you and I see you. Guys, snorts is going all in. It's his choice. Who else is coming with him? I fold. As do I. Very well. The action is on you, Ken, Daddy. Okay. Life, side note. Short. People from Ken Daddy prefer to be called Ken Daddyites. I will call you dead if you do not take your turn. Snorts, there are a lot of decafinated brands out there that are just as tasty as the real thing. Take your turn. Okay. I call. Uh-oh. What's four easy? He wins. What? A game snorts. That's impossible. Puts don't lie. That's the third hand in a row. I know. Amazing luck tonight, he. That is not luck. That is cheating. Snorts, how dare you? Fox, thanks. Snorts, empty your pockets. Snorts, please. I'm a woman. Our clothes don't have pockets. I can see them on you. You checking me out, snorts. In. No. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. How are we doing tonight, ladies? Hey, space cowboy. Is that your ride? Yeah, this is mine. What's up? Over here. Did you find us a ride? Yeah, what do you think? What is it? I don't know. But I stole it. Whatever, let's go. There's a guy with an axe chasing me. Nice. Oh, shit. Let's go. Come on. It doesn't have wheels. Apparently, that doesn't matter. Oh, shit. Bye, Sean. Ah! You think you're a fool, me, Condatian? What I have you sent now? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I know a lot of you are really nervous because we're still trying to get our bearings in this new place. We've got spaceships lying over our head and yes, the rumors are true. We've got a group of aliens staying at the horizon right now. I have it on good authority that they are called trustkins and they may look like big monsters, but they're harmless. But on the topic of where the hell we are, I have some news that's hot off the presses. We have a name for this place. Welcome everyone to the planet of Rax Prime just outside the capital city of Raxias. Here's what we know. Rax Prime is in the Andromeda galaxy, isn't that crazy? We're in a part of Andromeda that is apparently called the Iron Quadrant. Now listen close, here's the deal with the Iron Quadrant. Have any of y'all heard the stories about Portland at the turn of the century? Around the year 1900, Portland was made up of unemployed miners, sailors, lumberjacks and criminals. It was known as the most dangerous place in the country and there were a lot of dangerous places in the country back then. Organized crime, racketeering, people getting Shanghai and it didn't really get straight now until World War II came along. Anyway, try and imagine turn of the century Portland, but in space. And that's basically where we are. It's hard living here in the Iron Quadrant and then Raxias, the city that's a two-hour drive from us. It is the worst of the worst. But don't worry, they have no idea we're here yet. And let's try and keep it that way, okay guys? If you see something, say something. Right, remember if you see anything that looks weird or out of place, remember that all of our phones are connected through Elden now. Pick up your phone, say Elden and just start talking about what you're seeing. It'll get sent to us up here at our house, okay? We can do this y'all. We did just fine in Medieval Bavaria and we did even better in that place that I still can't pronounce. Stay calm, stay cautious and I will see all of you down at the sheep's eye. You're good with a microphone. I think you missed your calling. Look at you all ready to go and I'm still in my pajamas. I'm going to get a pie on the mountain and have a look around. Raxias is surrounded by about a million secret criminal hideaways and I don't want anyone getting curious. Yeah, I still don't understand how a whole mountain appeared outside the city and no one has noticed. Bug bugs teeth. What? Raxias is surrounded by a nasty mountain range called Bug Bugs teeth. We landed right in the middle of them. But still. It's a mountain. Think about a huge mountain range. If another mountain showed up overnight, would you really notice? Someone's going to notice. They haven't, yeah. I'm monitoring all frequencies, Deedra. There's any chatter about a new mountain. I'll hear about it. Good morning, Elden. Good morning, Deedra. I have news. What's up? Your suspicions were correct. You have a mild allergy to nightshades. I knew it. I'd stay away from tomatoes, squash and potatoes if I were you. That sucks. What about sweet potatoes? Sweet potatoes are fine. Great. So, Elden's reading your vitals now. What? We can share. Okay. Okay. Don't go taking the Phoenix for a joy ride. All right? No. You can have the spaceship and the terrifying laser gun. Plasma. Whatever. You said our house. What? On the radio just now. You said our house. Yes. I did. Elden. How are Virgous vitals right now? They're slightly elevated, Deedra. Fuck off. Hey, go out there and keep me safe. You know I'm a helpless damsel in here. Mm-hmm. Yes, my lady. You're great. You're great. I think we're doing an exceptional job of being completely honest and also downplaying the amount of danger we're in. If Raxius discovers this place, it'll be over on in 15 minutes. Everyone's behaving themselves so far. And how long do we think that's going to last? Not long and old, but we can dream. How do we protect a small town of humans from a city full of biggest gunbags in the triad? I'm sure the answer lies in trying to figure it all out ourselves and not relying on anyone else's health. Okay. Fuck you. I'm growing. Exactly a small town of humans. We have whatever in the world Frank is and whatever the hell trinket is becoming. Yeah. Have you seen her eyes lately? It's fascinating, isn't it? It's weird. I'm not sure when we'll be back home, but when we are, I am going to dump some very steamy data into all sorts of knowledge bases. Oh, that sounds dirty. Oh, it will be. You sure you can't connect to the network? It'd be great to have a look around. I could, but we'd better air on the side of caution for the time being. We don't want to attract any unnecessary attention. Work off the archive and the Phoenix for now. And if we have to take a peek outside our local network, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Let's remain calm. All members of Hood's Pocket are currently in the town borders or at least their phones are fine. Leave a message with Frank. Tell them I'm headed higher up the mountain. Message set. See? I shared. I'm going to start on the board for you today. Let me know when June is up. I need a drink already. She's at the horizon. She hasn't moved all night. Okay. Let's go. Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. God, damn it, Steve. Not bad from my first time. Next time I drive the hover thing in. Oh, we need a side car. Okay. We've got about an hour before Frank finds out and gets real mad. I'm going into peppercorns. That was wild. At one point, I saw a dude that either had two heads or was carrying a smaller dude on his back. I don't know what he was. Good morning, Doug. Oh, June, hi. What is that outside? That's our new ride. What do you think? Uh-huh. Where did it come from? Steve stole it. That stole it. Oh. Um, stole it from who? I don't know if it is. It just got on and started riding it. Uh, do not tell me you went into that city. Relax. Doug, it was just a little jaunt. Hey, jaunt. Yeah. We dipped in there. I played some cards. Steve stole a hover thingy and now we're back. Easy peasy. Oh, cards. Yeah, check it out. I won these. What are those? I think it's money. Oh, well, Frank is not going to like this, June. Doug, Frank hasn't liked anything since 1991. Oh, I just, I listened to Deidre's morning broadcast and she told us, you know, told us not to leave town for any reason. I guess we missed that one. Yeah, see, Frank can't be mad at us for being uninformed. No, well, that will happen anyway, though. Well, he's also been mad at me since 1991. I'm sure I can handle it. Yeah, Doug. So, like all this stuff just magically shows up again, huh? Yeah. Believe it or not, I mean, I close up at night and then when I walk into the stock room the next day, you know, there it is. So if I take this bag of bugles and I put it right outside the front door, there'll be another one that takes its place in the morning. Well, if it's, I mean, if it, if it's outside, I don't know. Hey, Doug, where have you been lately? I haven't seen you around the sheep's eye. Oh, I have been gardening. Gardening. Yes, that's right. Yes. So is this like a new thing? Yes, why? You weren't gardening before. What do you mean? Your personality. It just kind of screams gardener, man. It does? Oh, for sure. Oh, well, I mean, it is, it is new. It is a new thing that I am trying. All right. Well, I've got my bugles. What are you getting? Doug, I will be taking these three tall boys and these coordinates and I will look forward to them being magically back tomorrow. Okay. Oh, thanks for shopping at Pepper Gorns. Shop and go. Hey, congrats on your new life as a gardener. But don't be a stranger, okay? Oh, well, you know, it's down to 600 people, so there aren't no strangers. Two Shay. You know, I think it's time for me to name her. Okay, Steve, go for it. Big whiskey. Nice. Oh, Jesus. It's okay. I'm good. Hmm. Yeah, he's going to die. Hmm. That doesn't sound good. Oh, that doesn't sound good. Oh, that doesn't sound good. Oh, that doesn't sound good. Oh, that doesn't sound good. Oh, that doesn't sound good. Oh, that doesn't sound good. Oh, that doesn't sound good. Oh, you do not fight your own battles then. And who might you be? I am Tevraak Stormbringer, son of Francis, and this mountain is under my protection. Oh, that's so bitter. You got him, honey. Who needs television, am I right? Oh, June. Thank you. Wow. What the fuck is going on? Tevraak is defending my honor. From what? Oh, been great. Wow. How does he already have his shirt off? It's amazing, right? He's like a... First superhero. As soon as there's trouble, the clothes come off. You're doing a great job, honey. Beer? Ooh. Tall boy. Sure. Now we're talking. Also, here's your phone. What's that? Yeah, you left your phone at the horizon. Did I? Look at me. So forgetful. You know, Elden told us not to go anywhere without our phones. That's how he makes sure we are safe. I know, silly me. Yeah, silly you. It's also how he's able to make sure we are still in town and haven't gotten lost in the woods. Yes, he's such a mother hen. Isn't he? He. Because, you know, if we did get lost in the woods, we may be followed home. You know, by say, I don't know. A seven-foot tall axe-wielding space monster, for instance. So seems to me, if someone wanted to sneak out of town for a night, the best way to do that would be to leave their phone at home. Yes, well, let's be sure no one does that right. That would be a huge mistake. Oh, hey. Good morning, Drinkett. Hey there, everyone. Hmm. This is entertaining. Who's the axe, guy? Snorts, McGorots. It's okay. Daverog's got it handled. Oh, sweetie. I got that beer you like when you're done. Thank you, my love. How'd you sleep, Drinkett? You know, it's funny. I woke up this morning with a strange feeling that June and Steve left town last night and went on a little excursion into the big city we're supposed to stay away from. What? No. Good dammit. Oh, stop. Well, it is a good thing, June, has way more sense than to do something that fucking stupid. Okay. That's true. We can always count on her to do the responsible thing. Dengas! No right! Enough! Already. Damn you, swordsman. I have bested you, orc. Reach for your axe and I run you through. You are defending a thief. Watch your tongue. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on a sec there, Tabrug. Sorry. How is she a thief? She has taken my money through a complicated deception. She has called it. Hold them taxes. Taxes! Hold M! Snorts. Okay, snorts. That's not exactly theft, but I am sure it feels that way. Can you do us all a favor and get back into your monster truck? You. You are Earthlings. Fucking hell. Earthlings. Snorts. Don't be ridiculous. I'm a whatever that name was. That what I said. What was it? What was it? Who was it? I said I was. What? What is this place? Welcome to Hood's Pocket Snorts. I have not heard of this place. Well, don't spread it around snorts because then it won't be cool. What goes on in this place? You Earthlings are far from home. This is our home and you, Arnen Truder, leave now. I see. Whatever this place is you choose to defend a thief. Die sucks at cards and it makes me a thief. Whatever. Oh my god, June, I'm gonna fucking kill you. What? I will take my leave. But this is not the last you have seen of. Snorts, Mugorts. Okay, twoddles, snorts. Don't forget what I said about the caffeinated coffee. June, what the fuck have you been up to? Okay, look. Wait, yo, there's some kind of huge truck heading out of town. I'm good. Frank, Virgin Elden are up on the mountain and Elden is a little upset. Really? Oh, Frank, Elden is up on the mountain and wants to know why everyone's phone is off. Frank, why is everyone's phone off? It's my phone off. It's where it's possible. So is yours. Frank, do my eyes deceive me or was taverok just in a sword fight with an upbuck of the green army? Sorry, a who of the what? His name was Snorts Mugorts. For fuck's sake, June. It's not my fault. Okay, Elden, who was that guy? Frank, upmocks are kind of a joke but this guy is probably headed back into Roxyus now, right? I guess. He's definitely headed back. He's moving very fast. And he made some sort of ominous threat about he'd be back or something, right? He's war vengeance? Ah, he may have sworn vengeance, yes. Uh-huh. How do you think this affects our plan to lay low and hope no one notices us? God, damn it. Elden, let everyone know. Town meeting at noon. I'll send out the message. You couldn't have stayed home and played some fucking monopoly? I can't play with our monopoly set. It's missing. They iron! Man, yes, private. It looks like we reconnected to the well pump. So we should have running water again soon. Wow, look at that. I love jury. Lunch is here. Good. Would you help, Doudron? Load it, please. Yes, ma'am. Hey, Sarge. Hello, Doudron. Things are looking better up here. Yes. Apparently we even have running water again. Very luxurious. Oh, yes. It's like the four seasons. I'm going to have to get used to spacecraft passing overhead, aren't I? For the time being. Hmm. It was a little disturbed by your broadcast this morning. This city. What is it called? Raxius? Yes. Doesn't sound like the safest place in the world to me. I know, but we're doing fine so far. And remember, it's not forever. If it's anything like the last two times, it'll be six months. And then we'll find ourselves somewhere else again. Yes. Looks like. I'm a little worried about my people, Doudron. I'm sure. Rebuilding the station has been a good project to keep everyone distracted. But when we're done, we'll be without a mission. And we military types don't do well in those situations. I'm sure there'll be plenty for you to do. Hey, Doudron. Hey, Debbie. So is Steve not coming by today? Steve left me a message, but I think he was driving. I couldn't quite hear him. I think he was on a motorcycle. Okay, so he's going to be here tomorrow, though. I think so. Private Kennedy is worried that Steve won't be here to deliver the marijuana. He's been secretly providing to my people. Oh. They think I don't know about it, but guess what, Doudron? I'm...it's not for me. It's for...it's for another person. Uh-huh. Private. If you're not too high, could you unload the rest of the lunches, please? Yes, ma'am. Can you really blame them? Are you kidding? You should've seen me in high school. I had dreadlocks as you did. Did you? Doudron, are you with the Sergeant Major right now? I am. Sergeant, I'm afraid we need to have an emergency town meeting today at noon. We've had some developments. Oh, good. Speaking of having something to do... Do you think Frank's ever going to realize nothing is ever fixed by a town meeting? Nope. Right. No, God damn it. Helen! You're not going to dig a bunker. We're on the mountain. Are you digging into the bedrock with your fucking weed whacker? Hey, June. Hey, Diedra. How's Frank doing in there? He's completely exasperated, so he's in his element. Fantastic. So, um, Tabrock had a sword fight with an alien this morning? Oh, you should've seen it. It was beautiful. Lots of people think he's all talk, but no, no. He's mostly sword. And this was after you snuck into the incredibly dangerous city and cheated at poker? I did not sneak, and I did not cheat. How dare you? You left your phone at the horizon, so you wouldn't be detected. Okay, fine. It was a little sneaky. We're apparently in a pretty dangerous place, June. Diedra, what am I supposed to do? There's a sci-fi city two hours away, and I'm supposed to sit at home and watch movies. Movies that will probably have a sci-fi city and them! This isn't a movie, June. It's real life. And why does it feel so much like a movie? Jesus Christ, not the clipboard again. No, I just, I wanted to make a list of everyone's concerns, and we can address them one at a time. Give me the clipboard. Give me the clipboard. I feel like these town meetings never have the intended effect. The intended effect is to keep us entertained. Drink it. Oh, okay. Well, in that case... I think when Frank instituted the no drinks before the meeting is over, rule is when the wheels came off the wagon. Let's go in on out here, ladies. Why are you asking, can't you use your magical witchy poo powers and tell us? I can, do you want me to? No. Freaks me out. Hmm. Verges up the mountain again. It's going on. See, like, right there, that freaks me out? They've been really on edge ever since we got here. Lots of keeping a lookout and checking the perimeter. Yeah, I can feel that. I hope you're taking time with each other. And intimacy is really going to help with a lot of this anxiety. Dr. Ruth in space over here. That goes for you, too, June. Where is Tavrock right now? Why don't you tell me with your crystal ball? That was a rhetorical, June. He's chopping wood. I know he is. Side note. Medieval lifestyle. Like, 90 percent chopping wood. You do not see that at the rent fair. I'm just saying respectfully that in times like these, you two need to make sure and be attentive to your relationships. That's all. Are we on space open right now? What is happening? I'm especially talking to you, June. Dejra is in a relationship with a literal alien, which is somehow more likely than you being in a long-term relationship. Wow. Respectfully. Wow, Trinket. I kind of feel that. I don't need your sick burns from the astral plane. Thank you. Oh, Jesus. Whose idea was it to give Steve some sort of floaty bite? It kind of just happened. What up, Steve? Check it out. I learned how to park. Are you sure? Boom. Very impressive. Shit. Always with the trash can. At least he's happy. Y'all, hey. Check it out. So, I've been thinking about our situation, right? Our situation? A city full of bad guys. And we're here, like, sitting ducks, right? Our situation. Okay. I've been thinking about it. And I think I have a plan. A plan. Yeah, a plan. A plan. Steve, you realize that a plan entails a beginning and an end and several steps in between, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's got all of that. Really? Okay, Steve. What's your plan? Well, hang on. I really think that Steve should unveil his plan for Frank in the town meeting, shouldn't he? Oh, God. I should. He's really going to want to hear it. Isn't he guys? I want to say no, but I have to watch it happen. Right? Let's get in there. Come on. Yeah, we go. Woo! You guys go ahead. We're running out of time. You guys go ahead. We're running low end ships. I need to borrow some from the store. Wish me luck, Deja! Good luck. Frank, great news. Steve has a plan. Steve's got a plan. Well, well. What if we got here, Battle Pope? I didn't believe it myself, but there she is, Bugabo. Hello. You know, we usually don't traffic in rumors. Do we, Battle Pope? No, we do not. But ever once in a while, a whole town full of earthlings. You know what, Battle Pope? There's not one person out there who's going to believe us. We'll meet some fiscal proof. Won't we, Bugabo? Who are you guys? Allow me to address her directly. If you don't mind, Battle Pope. You go right ahead, Bugabo. Good evening, ma'am. My name is Bugabo, and this is my associate, Battle Pope. What's this about? Well, we're just a couple of working stiffs, ma'am. And like all working stiffs, we have an employer. An employer that relies on us to keep them informed of certain goings on. And clearly, ma'am, something round here is going on. Look, we're just a town full of normal people trying to get through the day, all right? And what a lot of disposition that is. Don't you agree, Battle Pope? I do, Bugabo. But sadly, ma'am, there ain't no one keeping track of commendations these days. Now, ma'am, seeing as how you're an earthlin' and not read in on the finer points of the world, you find yourself in. Let me be plain. This ma'am is a good. And you're on the wrong you, David. But if you come along with us and you play nice, you won't need to worry about a thing. Oh, God. I should have known the first ones to show up would be you two fucking weevils. Well, now, do my eyes deceive me, Battle Pope? If they are, then mine are as well, Bugabo. That's you, Verge. Well, it's not your fucking mother, is it? Aren't you supposed to be dead somewhere? In a jail somewhere? Probably. Hmm. I guess you guys just got lucky. Verge. It's okay, sweetie. Sweetie. Sweetie. Verge. Have we stumbled upon a last of note this afternoon? Lass. Lass of note. Why the fuck do you idiots talk this way? Verge, while your presence here is puzzlin' indeed. We have other business to attend to. Like abducting innocent people off the streets. Is livin' as they often say? They do say that. Well, then. I'm not sure what you two want with her, but how about instead of killing each other, I make you a deal. A deal? A deal? Verge. No matter what she's worth to you, I'm assuming. I'm worth more. I'm not one for arithmetic, but let's go ahead and assume in the positive. Fine. May for her then. Verge, what are you doing? Yes, what are you doing? What's fine, sweetie? Don't worry. And how do you imagine we arranged it? I'll go first. I've got my gun here, and I'm putting it on the ground. I'll leave my ting on the ground as well. Oh, I'd love to know the thinking behind whatever this nonsense is. Shut up. Okay. Here I am. My hands are up. Let her go. And why don't we just shoot dead right now, Verge? I don't have all my hands up, Bugaboo. Hmm. All right then. Why don't you run along, little lady? I'm afraid we're cut in bait for a bigger fish. Verge. Everything's going to be fine. Bring our rod around, won't you battle, Pope? I'd love to, Bugaboo. Any last words? Yes. You worry too much. What are you doing? This is a terrible idea. I need you to trust me, okay? Write this way, Verge. Trust me. Oh my god. What do we do? They've either got some sort of plan, or they're just hoping it all works out. Go get Frank. Okay. And I suppose I'll just lay here on the sidewalk. We have achieved Orba, a second course for the galaxy brain. How do you think our guests is doing back there, Bugaboo? Do you think there are strengths or two tight? I'd hate for them to be uncomfortable. They're famous for being comfortable in tight spots, Battle Pope. Shall I send a message to the galaxy brain, Bugaboo? Let them know about the big fish we're about to reel in. It would give them time to roll out the red carpet, Battle Pope. Oh, and do that if I were you, fellas. It's a long ride back to the galaxy brain, and you don't want to advertise your colleagues that you've got a big prize on board. I mean, pirates do so love to, you know, pirate from each other. Well, look at that. Out of the mouths of babes. We'll keep it to ourselves for the time being, Bugaboo. What's the bounty on me up to these days? You guys gonna finally upgrade this piece of shit cruiser? Oh, we're way past that. We here tell that the lucky pirate who brings you in gets an entire cluster of systems all to themselves. The lord of all you survey. Really? You're taking us to the big time, Verge. Wow. I can't think of anyone who doesn't deserve it more than you two. Stop it. We're blushing. We'll all be damned. Who was the problem, Battle Pope? We appear to have a disconnect to the reactor vent. I do hate that. As do I. We're not going to go anywhere with a reactor disconnect. And which one of us do we think is going to head outside and fix it, Battle Pope? Well, I suppose you were the last one out in the black. Wouldn't she spend a whole oxygen tank changing the flood lights? Not 10 days ago. Well, then. I must do my part, mustn't I, Bugaboo? No, I and team and all that. When or when? Will the work all be done? When your dad? When I'm dead or when I'm rich. Let's see which comes first, shall we? Oh, cluster systems. Just for a little old me, huh? You heard right. Honestly, it's been hard to imagine what I could have done to warrant such a high price. We're not one to ask questions, Verge. We are to simply apply our skills to the marketplace and reap the benefits. Though it does suggest a bit of history between you and our employer. Just a little bit of history. Everything okay up there? We appear to have another disconnect. Battle Pope, we have yet another disconnect. What's our situation out there? Battle Pope? Oh, hell. Maybe he got lost. Well, while I'm out there, try and keep in mind that as your pilot, our fates are intertwined. Sure. I'll just wait here then. Uh... Hi, Frank. Cool. Hey. What? Um... Frank, did you just... Did you just ride the spaceship in orbit? Uh... Yes, that appears to be what I have done. Yes. Okay. Woo! So... This is space. Yeah. How do you like it? It's very cold. It's so fucking cold. Especially on the outside I would imagine. Yeah, yeah, especially on the outside. Frank, I have a lot of questions. Yeah, yeah, me too. Oh, well, look, uh, Trinket told me where the ship was. It was firing up. So I jumped on. I wasn't really thinking about it. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Frank, most people think very, very hard about something like that. Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah. I imagine. Yeah, they're a bit worried down on the ground and then... But you realize that what you did was impossible, right? That's not a thing that people do. Well, oh, I don't know why I'm Jesus. Hey, that's what they said to the Wright brothers. Who were the Wright brothers? Never mind. Uh, how do I get you out of those restraints? Oh. I'm already out of them. What? Yeah, I'm a bit hard to contain. But then why are you... Oh, I see. Yeah. You had a little plan, didn't you? I was gonna pump them for information and then take over the ship. Oh, okay. So the impressive feed of me surviving the void of space was completely pointless. Not completely. Look at the majestic view. Nope, I hate majestic views. Right. Um, this is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. Yeah, well, Burj, I imagine the bar is quite low on that. Oh, maybe it's so low. Okay. So, please tell me you know how to fly this thing. Oh, yeah. I can. You are, however, gonna have to go back outside and plug in whatever you unplugged out there. Oh, motherfucker! Shit! Okay. Here I go. I'll make some cocoa. Oh, fuck off! Hahaha! Why does it take so much longer to get back than it took to get into space? I had to take a longer route so that we weren't followed. Fine. Okay. Look, I just had to do a reverse doctor's strange love into space to keep you from being abducted by psychotic space twins. This is what? Day five? Are we going to be able to make it through this? Remember I told you about my home planet? Oh, and it's a black hole now? Yeah, when that happened, it completely screwed this part of indromeda. It's very hard to get in or out of the iron quadrant now. And it's made life very hard for a lot of people in an environment like that. The same thing happened that always happens. It gets taken over by some very bad people. It's total chaos in this part of the galaxy and the people who run it like it that way. There's a pirate named Loftracks. They're incredibly powerful. They run nearly all of the crime across three galaxies. It's a one place. They can't quite seem to control right here the iron quadrant. How we stay safe tucked in here on this mountain? I've got no idea. And we need a plan. Mmm. But I have no clue what that is. What? Where is everyone? Oh, Frank, Doug, where is everybody? Doug, where are you wearing a headset? Oh, so I can communicate better. Hi, Virge. Oh, here's Elden. Welcome back. There's been some developments. What kind of developments? Very special kind. Trinket said that there is a vehicle on the way up the mountain and there's a few people in it. Oh, shit. So while you were gone, we needed to make some very quick decisions and so we had to make a plan. Yes, they did. Plans were made. What's the plan? Well, Eiji Steve had a plan, Frank. What? You heard me? No, no. I know it sounds crazy, but the more we talked about it, the more we thought that well, that no one else had a plan. Oh, right. And that's not a good enough reason, Doug. Yes. And that is what I said at first, but see, in the end, we just we opted for a plan over no plan. Nope. Hard to disagree, Doug. Well, it is too late for that. Now, Frank, the wheels are in motion. Doug, what is Steve's plan? So, Virge, I'm sorry you won't be able to witness the glory, but you'd better make yourself scarce before this vehicle. Yes. Oh, but if you could please, please leave Elden with us. We're gonna need all the help we can get. Shit. Well, Frank. Good luck with whatever this is. Tell Deidre I'll be back at her place. Doug. Okay, everyone. Ooh, get into position, because here we go. Whoa. Do you see? You called me a liar. I can't believe it. There was a whole town full of them. Who knows how long they've been hiding here. This is so weird. How can this whole place have been hidden here? It doesn't make any sense. Well, hey there, folks. It's a sight of a hole, isn't it? Street signs, shops, bars. Even the trees look like they came from Earth, don't they? Didn't even notice the tree. You know what? Getting out of the iron quadrant is almost impossible these days, isn't it? No opportunities to get out and see all the wonders of the triad. And we think that's just a crime. Was this guy? Wouldn't it be nice to get away? Just for a few hours? Go somewhere, there's no technology, no rat race, and most importantly, no ten empire, am I right? It does sound kind of nice. Wouldn't it be nice to go to the land of your dreams? A place that you only see on Earth portal. A place that looks like where your dreams come from. Welcome, my friends, to Earthland. You're the townspeople. Earthland? Oh, where did all these people come from? Here at Earthland, all our employees wear next generation Earth suits so that all of us look exactly like the Earthlings you see on TV. I'm wearing one too. Go ahead, give me a poke. Wow, it feels so real. And that's not all. Stroll down the street to peppercorn's shop and go and shop at an authentic Earth convenience store. We have pickles. A man after my own art. You bet your sweet bippy they've got pickles. And when you're done there, take a load off at the sheep's eye roadhouse where de-dress got all the authentic Earth spirits you could ever want. Come on by, I'll be waiting for ya. Or, if you're feeling adventurous, duck inside the new age in Poryam and meet the Earth Witch. You drink it! Greetings. I'm the Asvich. Come inside and I shall tell you your destiny. That is so fucking cool. And you can walk up to anyone at Earthland and they'll have a truly authentic art story to tell you. I'll like you Celeste and stand by you. Hey, look there. It's Sergeant Celeste. Hey, there's Sarge. Uh, yes. Yes, hello there. I hope you're enjoying your time here at Earthland. Myself and my men are here to make sure that everyone has a safe and happy time. Don't make me throw you in our secret prisons. Hey, yes, sir. And look, here's Towns Prison June. Hey, I know these guys. This is the one who stole from me. Jesus, shorts would you like not, please. Yes, Nord seriously. We were all there, Snoritz. Hey, June, who's that you've got with you? Well, this happens to be the mayor, Steve. Dogs are mayors on Earth? That's right. Little known fact. Hey, come on by the sheep's eye and I'll tell you about the time I almost met Leonardo DiCaprio. Oh, the guy from Growing Peans? Sure. And if you'd like to leave Town, the adventure doesn't stop here. We've got an entire forest full of Earth Flora and Fauna ready for you to observe. Doug, is there going to be a musical number? Well, no, we didn't have time. But I am writing that down as a possibility. Don't do not. Write that down. And hey, if there's too much you want to try here at Earthland, maybe think about staying the night. Head on over to the horizon and stay in an authentic Earth motel. Frank will be waiting there to give you the keys to comfort. Isn't there, Frank? From the bars to the shops to the natural wonders, we've got everything you need here at Earthland. The only question is, what do you do first? I'm gonna see the Earthlates. I'm gonna get some pupils and tal about you, sir. I... I would like to have a strawberry margarita? You've got it, my friend. Right this way. Oh, oh my god. Oh my god, that worked. Frank, I think it worked. I fucking quit. Hey honey, how was your day? Aliens are crazy. So I hear... They called all their friends and then their friends called their friends and before I knew it, the town was packed with them. It's like Marty Growne. Well, gosh. How did you get away? Steve had to take over. Okay. Anybody give you any trouble? Look, I know you told me that this place is full of dangerous criminals, but they were all like little kids when they walked into that town. They fucking love Earth. They do. It was... What is this? Oh, I am. I made dinner. You made sweet potatoes. Well, I think I did. You know, I don't really do vegetables, so I don't know. You're kidding me. Did I do it wrong? You're like one of the most dangerous people in the galaxy or whatever, and you're just sitting here making me sweet potatoes. How far they fall, right? Get your ass in the bedroom. But... Sweetheart. I made dinner. Uh-huh. I don't care. Get in there? Okay. And just to be... You're going to follow me into the bedroom. Yeah, that is kind of how it works. Oh, goody. Motherfucker! Okay. Hang on. Frank. Hey, Diedra. Hey, Frank. What's up? I am so sorry to interrupt the sweet potato. That's not what you're interrupting, Frank. What's up? Oh, right. Looks like another friend of yours has shown up. 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