Giggling about crushes, conjugal visits, and kalteen bars

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I mean, the day just got away from me. Hello, my grizzly Giglers. Wait, I need to get my phone. Oh my God. Well, because I just, like, I have things. I have, oh, you do? Well, I have notes and stuff. I was in the car on the way to the Teen Vogue party. Sorry, I just love saying that. What is that? So, we had to go, and I was just like, oh my God, I a little blew my hair on the way to the Teen Vogue party. We messed up today. Yeah, we messed up today. First of all, this is what we get. Wait, first of all, I'm wearing a YSL windbreaker. First of all, everywhere you walk today, you got a compliment. Also, her hair is tucked in like Mary Kate Ashley Olson. She's obsessed with herself. No, I'm obsessed with myself. But you also don't feel like talking. You just want people to look at you today. Yeah, I wish, I feel like my voice is different. I'm like, like, it's smaller when I wear this outfit. It is crazy not to defend you and your obsession with outfits, but the right outfit really makes you feel like that girl. Not a good way. Oh, okay, thanks. The right outfit makes you like believe in yourself. Yeah, but the wrong outfit. Ruin, cancel everything. I've like broken up with boyfriends. I'm like, I just can't. I'm over-simulated and my outfit sucks and everybody knows it. You walk in and I'm like, everyone's whispering about my outfit. That's actually happened to me though. That's in your head. That's my reality. Today, me and Hannah went shopping this morning. What can I say? Not to get deep, but I feel like me and you have like never been more in love with each other. We're like obsessed with each other. We're so close like on a soul sister level right now. And we've been like making time for each other, which we've never done. The other day you said to me, if I wanted to stop being your friend, I could have years ago. No, I was just saying that we've chose each other. Like no one forced us to be friends. We've chosen each other. Yes. I mean, people forced us to possibly not be friends at some point. Totally. And we fought against that. We rose above. We rectified. I don't know if that was the right word. But yesterday you were like, let's go to dinner. Yeah. Now let me just say you ordered wine. I was feeling crazy. Crazy. And then I got scared. I didn't want to order wine, but I saw they had a coconut drink. One thing about me, I love a coconut drink, but it came in a full coconut. And let me just tell you, it's very hard to have serious adult conversations where you're holding a full coconut. No, we were the video of like the waiter coming over at the most horrible point. He sees me with a coconut. He thinks it's an easy. He thinks it's fun. It's like, oh. And she's like, and then when the lawsuit got involved. She was, and then she lost all her children. So anyway, I'm sending a cease and desist. And also this wasn't just like any coconut. It was like a pumpkin. Yeah, it was massive. At one point everyone was talking at the dinner and I go, I'm holding the coconut. I'm speaking. Unless you have the coconut in your hands, you can't speak. That was the funny joke of the whole night. I know. Actually, I didn't even talk that much last night, which I'm proud of myself because sometimes in a group dinner, I don't know how much to talk. I feel like I talked the right amount. Like I left the dinner being like, I didn't overdo it. Great performance. And I had some of the like top hits of the night. You did. You, you had the. I got like two applause breaks. You had laugh breaks. We had does monopolized the whole conversation. No, I was obsessed with you and does because you're very powerful, separate. But when you're together, you're like too powerful and you were like scorpion. Well, we were also sitting across from each other. So it was like, I could only look at him truly. And so it was just like. Paige is fully interrogating does I'm drinking from my coconut. And it was getting kind of, it was like, like, well, the stories were deep because Des has so many great stories. But then it made me laugh. You were, you waited till I was married to a man for four years before you changed his, you like put his name in your phone. Yeah. And that's so fucking real. I like just recently saved it like not that long ago. It's true. Like. And it went to like, I had it saved, but it was like, does Hannah's boyfriend summer. Like I have to write all these. And then it became Des Bishop as of late because I was like, yeah, he did it. He's a person and I should recognize that once the marriage is like four years and it was a little bit of a COVID meeting. I understand. I can't live here married for four years. Like I feel like my parents will go out and like, like my mom is me. Like, so I know like when she goes, my favorite time of year is like my mom's, my dad's high school reunion. It's like, oh my God, like I can't. Not my mom's high school reunion, like different. My dad, like when he has one, I'm like, we're picking out our outfit. We're like, it's just like a whole thing. But I feel like when my parents talk about like going out and like they've always had good social lives, like even when I was younger, they would always go out to dinner like with someone Saturday nights. That's so fun. Then like for the longest, they didn't. I feel like that was like when I was like middle school, high school and now that like, They were stressed about you. Yeah. Like God forbid they left you'd get a tongue piercing. But now that they're like in their sixties, I feel like they like socialize more than ever. Yeah. And like, My parents are partying. Yeah. And like my mom will call me and like we talk like girls, you know, and she'll be like, And I feel like she was like hitting on your dad. So obviously like I had to go over and be like, hello. And I'm like, stand up for yourself. Right. And she was like, and you know, dad, he always plays dumb. I'm like, I hate what he does that. So like, I feel like as like you will always have a crush. It's the people that take the crush to the next level. I remember the first time I realized my dad realized another man was hitting on my mom. And I was like, so proud of my mom. I was like, good, make dad jealous. Yeah. I'll never forget one time I went out with my parents and we were in Saratoga and we went to there's like, after you go to the racetrack, there's like a couple bars that you go to that are like, honestly dirty. Like it's like you're in the dirt, but everyone's dressed up and like drinking from plastic cups, but it's just like the vibe. And so there's one that's like a little more adult called zeros. And then there's another one that's like a little bit more rambunctious. And this is your like home court. It's like my home court. Like if you go to the one it's like full high school reunion. So like I avoid it sometimes because I'm like, who knows, I'm obsessed with small town stuff like this. Yeah. I feel like I did kind of have a small town, but it's like, you knew everyone there. And I'm standing. And this was like right when I turned 21 and like would go out with my brother. There were times where we'd be like, let's bring mom and dad and we would go to like a dinner or something. But anyway, so we're at this bar and this guy's walking up to me and like my parents are behind me and I'm like, oh my God, like this guy's walking up to me. He's going to be like hitting on me in front of my parents. Like this is like so embarrassing, but like he was hot. So I was like, well, they're going to deal with it. Like look alive dad. And this guy comes up to me and he's chatting me up. And we're like chatting and he goes and the woman behind you, who is that? And I'm like looking around and I like see my mom and I'm like, who's behind me? And he's like the woman like wearing black. I'm like, my mom. And he's like, well, sorry, I didn't know what was your mom. Like is she single? And I was like, my dad is like right here. And it scarred me. So I was like disgusted. I was so I was like, this is the worst thing ever. See, every guy's obsessed with my mom. Welcome to my life. Every guy I've ever dated after they meet my mom, they go, wait, your mom's you except she like has her shit together. Yeah, mine's the opposite. Every guy I've ever dated hates my mom. I'm like, cause she calls you on your bullshit. My mom literally one time said to a boyfriend, were you a fat child? And now like you're thinking, you know how the conversation is going to go after that? Like, because it's just so awkward. But Kim is a silent killer. Like that'll be the only thing she says the whole night. I know for a fact that man thought about it three weeks later and was like, what'd she mean by that? Were you a fat child? And I was like, she meant what she asked. And he was like, I actually was. And she goes, yeah, you act like it. And I was like, oh my God. Cause honestly, he was like so crazy about things I ate and she didn't like that. No, my mom, oh, I had one of those guys. Yeah. And so she called him out without calling him out. Like, don't project your e-g on her. Don't project your shit on her. She can eat whatever she wants. And I got my, my mom and I have the same thing. And I said, he wants to help me be a fitness model. And she said, you're eating pasta. Yeah. Guys would like go to my mom's house and be like, it's so clean. I'm like, yeah, my mom's really clean. And then she'd like, you know, she just is fully domesticated while also being successful while also being beautiful. And they were like, so you're missing a couple. So do you think this will come with age or? Also, by the way, when we go off about our moms and parents on this podcast, I always get a call. I got a call actually yesterday being like, Hey, um, some of the stories you told, not true. Embellished. She goes, first of all, I didn't dress you before you went to school. You know, when you were telling that story, I thought, I don't know if Lenore would have done that. She goes, I didn't put you in jeans to bed. She goes, that was when you were an infant. And I was like, okay, why did I think I was 17 when you did that? And she was like, yeah. So sorry, I thought that was before a tennis match in college. Also, my dad dropped her off to a date to break up with the guy. But then like, it's okay. What are they going to do? Another time. Anyway, I got to see some of this for my mom. My mom is like, I'm laughing so hard listening to you like almost get it right. Like it's so close. Like your heart is there. Yeah. Um, no, I, I've been on then too, like parents are crazy. Like she's like, I got a Facebook message from like my middle school boyfriend and I'm like, I'll kill him. No, that's so insane. Yeah. It's so insane to think like, well, because here's the other thing. At some point your spouse passes away. I'm very aware. And I'm like, who's checking in when I first get single and I'm like 75 and I still look good. Well, one of the most fun things about getting married is like, first of all, you're unavailable to everyone. So you feel like around men, you're just so calm. Yeah. And if they don't like you, they start liking you because they know you're unavailable. Well, you take away the whole like, all the time I used to stress about my crushes, which was a lot. I'm not pretending I was fully boy crazy. Yeah. Now I spend it stressing out about other things, which has as a result, has helped my career. No, that is so beautiful. So like when you're, when I was single, I deal with so much bullshit with the dating, which we all do. And now my bullshit is in other things. I'm not saying like I'm happier. It's just relationships cause me no drama anymore. That's nice. It's like, it's just very calm. And I had to say it. I used to call my mom for everything and now I have Des. Lenore, if you're listening to this, she can have her own life. Like Lenore has a sewing club. She's in historical society. She's actually, she's very busy. Wait, what is the historical society? Like what is she doing? She giving tours? Oh my God. There's a house on shelter Island. Shout out historical society. And she loves history. And actually, I don't know what those are. So you're going to call an ad. There's this old house from like, I don't even want to say a date cause I got it wrong. But like, I don't know, 1700s. And they preserved outfits that they found. Wow. And they dress up people in their, you would have loved. Wait, they love stuff like that. The outfits like that. But like then I was like on Halloween, like that shit's haunted. That's scary. I love like a mansion tour of like, I was just going to say JG Wentworth. Why did that pop into my head? JG Wentworth. It's some kind of like, the Vanderbilt or something. Like my mom used to make us do that so much when we were little. And I loved it. Go to like historical things. Yeah. Like go to like different like tours of things. I was so annoying on tours cause you know when they were like, does anyone have any questions? I was like, it's my time to shine. Which is so crazy that we're best friends because I'm just like, I rather puke. Oh, I'm such a Leo son that like when it wasn't about me, I was like, well, someone needs to hear from me. Even like when we're on zooms and it's not like we're like, we're insane on zooms. Well, it's like, I don't feel bad not asking a question because it's not like I'm like interviewing for a job or something. Yeah. It's like people are explaining stuff and then like they're always like, do you have any questions after? And half the time I wasn't even listening because I'm like someone is going to call me after to talk about this anyway. And give me the spark notes. But like I would die. Sometimes I have a question. But I feel like we've helped each other. Like you have a calmness to you. Like I'll start a call and I'm like, yeah, because I'm not listening and you're just, you're spaced out. I don't know. You're actually. This is so Z8. So then then I like to ask questions, but I like to wait for you to ask the one question, which is normally like, who are you people? Well, I always feel like you're going to answer. You're going to ask the question that I would have. So I'm like, I don't actually have to do it because she's going to do it. And that's why we work well together. Wait, I had a gigler DM me because we were talking about my, or what our big three were the other day. And I just found it interesting because a lot of girls are like, wait, I have your exact. Yours? Yeah. What did they say? Her name is Taylor underscore astrology. She said, gigler here, random astrology thought after you mentioned not identifying with Aquarius rising on the pod. Sometimes the rising sign is more how other people experience us than how we feel inside. I actually see Aquarius in you in a really cool way. You're always ahead of trends, very innovative Daphne pajamas that double as an outfit is very Aquarius. You're quick with observational humor and you're great at stepping back and reading group dynamics. Aquarius has the ability to detach and see things from a bird's eye view, which can be as helpful balance for Scorpios on and Pisces moon, like a mental zoom out button when the water gets intense. Also Aquarius tends to enjoy others who beat to their own drum, a.k.a. might be a little quirky. And I just thought that was sweet. Wait, she's talking about me? Yeah. I'm obsessed with that because I just went on tiktok. You do beat to your own drum. Well, I just got this is what comes with my algorithm. Me because I'm too weird for the popular girls and too popular for the weird girls. And I go, that's weird. So I go into the comments and everyone goes, someone goes Scorpio rising core. And then someone goes Leo sun, Scorpio rising. And that's me. And I was like, Oh, my God. So astrologically, things are going well. Thank God. And it's all that is. I don't go fuck. I care so much about astrology. I don't go. I love me too. I'm good. It's just because it's branded as women. And that's why people are like, grow up. Did you see doja cat? Did you see it? Or you're just laughing at the segue. Well, I love the doja cat. You won't hear from her for months. And then she'll come out with like the craziest quote and then get herself into a drama that she never had to be involved in. Like she was at peace, but she's like, I want to know what's her chart is. I would love to know what her chart is. What did she do? She basically did like a full, when she said the whole thing about Timothy, Shalemay and was like about the ballet and the, what was it? Opera. I guess Kylie Jenner had commented her Insta or her Tik Tok, wherever she had posted that. And Kylie said, calm down, LOL. And so then I don't know if this is why doja cat didn't do an apology, but then like seemingly a couple hours later, she did like an apology. And the apology was, I have to admit, I've never been to the ballet and I've never been to the opera. And wait, I actually screen shot at it because I thought it was so interesting what she actually said. And she basically said that she did it for clicks. And then I think she felt guilty because she realized in a second ago, it could have been her saying something that everyone was jumping on and she felt bad. So I think she was trying to like fix her karma. I've never been to the ballet. I've never seen an opera and took it upon myself yesterday to kind of give it to the man because there is a culture, there is culture based around outrage. What I was doing yesterday was virtue signaling because I wanted to connect and I knew that Timothy, Timothy's goof up was something that I could leverage in order for people to connect me. It's a modern way to garner clicks, likes approval and kinds of things like that. I'm actually obsessed with her. She kind of did not intentionally, but unintentionally did a social experiment and just proved that like, I mean, I feel like because we're from reality TV, we can see it so clearly that like one person can mess up and it could be like, maybe not that bad. And then but people just feel part of a group when they like pile on top of that person. So when someone does something wrong, your algorithm will be full of people that agree with you and also you get the most clicks when you're speaking on an issue that's like hating on someone. That's why like I don't understand how anyone's taking anyone seriously. That's like, I asked chat GPT all my questions. It's like, okay, but it's programmed to like eventually start agreeing with you. It's very strange. I'm like, I feel like I'm living in the twilight zone. I'm like, what are you talking about? For everyone online who's like their job is like calling people out and critiquing. Whose job is that? Well, like some like some people's social media is just like tea and that's cause they want their own fame. Yeah, like no one actually I'm going to be honest. I didn't like, I had to reread virtue signal. I mean, it was like, what does that mean? I think she's saying like she was pretending that she like really cared about the art of it, but then she knows deep down she feels she doesn't feel a type of way about it. She just wanted attention. And then I think she felt guilty. Some people are like, wait, what other comments are like she's playing 4D chess. Yeah. Like people should be as self aware as her. Just interesting. Yeah, it's funny because if you think of whenever anyone posts something, there's always a reason they want to make someone jealous. They want to make someone laugh. So they want views. And I know as a content creator, sometimes I'm like, okay, what do people want to see? If I wanted views, whatever drama is going on, I could just give my take on it. Right. That's how I actually would get views, but I don't want to be a part of that anger economy. I post to look at myself. I know I watch it. I look at you, look at yourself. I'm posting today because I want to see this outfit on a big screen. So next time you post something online, figure out like why you're doing it and make sure there's good karma behind it because that shit bites you in the ass. Yeah. This is your business. This is your business supercharged for the help of zero counting software. These are your numbers. These are your numbers sorted for the help of zero counting software. This is you. Hi. This is you taking business where you want with the help of zero counting software. Long way! This is your business supercharged with the help of zero and having your numbers sorted all at the same time so you can finally focus on taking business where you want to! Supercharge your business today with the help of zero. Search zero with an X! You turned your dating app for pets into a business which just turned over its first billion. You turned around the fortunes of a failing football club. You politely turned down a Nobel Peace Prize and turned up on Mars in your own reusable rocket. While struggling to turn on the dishwasher, there's more to imagine when you listen. Discover business development titles on Audible. Subscription required, see audible.co.uk for terms. This is your business. This is your business supercharged with the help of zero counting software! This is managing cash flow. This is managing your cash flow with the help of zero counting software! These are your customers paying you. These are your customers having more ways to pay you with the help of zero counting software! This is your business supercharged with the help of zero helping you sort your cash flow by giving your customers more ways to pay so now you can focus on making your business boom! Supercharge your business today with the help of zero. Search zero with an X! This Friday is going to be absolutely wild on BBC One. Davina McCall is hosting a full-on entertainment at Stravaganza, her red nose day. And she's not alone. There's the traitors like you've never seen them and a trip to Amandaland. Even a Dermatolarian, Alison Hammond, Bank Heist. Hilarious chaos, all for comic relief. So tune in this Friday, 7pm, BBC One and iPlayer. Don't miss it! This message is brought to you by Comic Relief in partnership with the lovely people at ACAST. Are you aware of the David protein drama? No. Oh my god you'd love this. What? Okay I'm gonna like butcher this. I'm not big in the protein community. I get so many memes that are like the world's following part but at least we have protein popcorn. Yeah it's just like everything has protein in it and I'm like how much was I lacking? It's a trend. Like I like oh my god you guys are really serious about it. It's a trend I think because a lot of people are on GLP Ones and when you're not eating a lot you're not getting enough protein. Got it. I just saw a thing that said that they were like doing studies and like Ozympic is like making your bones brittle. Yeah. Well I think if you overdo anything it's bad but I haven't done the science on it all. However thank god. But everyone wait I'll do the science eventually and I'll let you know my report as Woman in Stem. So I'm very into protein bars. You are? Yeah it's my thing. Oh my god. Well as a tennis player. So you've been hiding this from me. I always wear my bag right now. Like I always have a protein bar just in case I get hungry. Are you doing protein powders at home? No. No I'm not. It's strictly. Okay like just a bar. Protein bar. Okay and what's your bar of choice? Right now I really like those bear bell proteins. It's always normally like a peanut butter chocolate type thing. Where are you totally um what are the bars from? Calteen bars. Remember you totally calteen barred me on tour. Okay so um there's this thing called perfect bars. And they're perfect. And they are perfect. And they just taste like you're eating peanut butter. They're like 400 calories. It's like a meal replacement. And I told you once like in the airport. You were like hey those are really good. You should get them. Those are really good because sometimes in the morning I don't want a full breakfast. I'll have one of these. And I'm like this is amazing. I'm gonna eat these all day long. And I'm eating them and Hannah's like how many of you had? And I'm like I don't know. And she's like those are 400 calories each. They're milk please. I'm like are you trying to move me up a weight class? Are you kidding? I go on this tour we gotta be sturdy. You gotta pick up your luggage. I'm like I'm literally disassociating from the world on this tour. Well you're gonna die. And I'm gonna get this wrong but there's this thing called David protein bars. Okay. You might have seen them around. They're the guys who did RX bars. RX bars were the ones that are like no we had. Oh wait I didn't realize that I know so much about protein bars. What is this documentary? You may have heard of David. You ever see the bars that say no BS on them? No. Oh my god. Yes yes yes. It's like dates. Egg. Fuck you. And a nickel. That's like all that's in it. It's like cardboard and egg. At least we tell you what's in it. So I think they sold that for a lot of money. Okay. And then something kind of sketchy happened. We're not done in the protein space. Something sketchy happened where they somehow claimed that a certain way they make their protein they like own it and that other protein bars can't do it. So basically we're trying to take over the protein space by saying like we've. Clothing minds have that too. Like we've made this whipped fabric that no one can use. Yeah. No one can use it. So that was weird. But this was being dealt with. And it comes out that they've been saying that it's like only 150 calories and a report comes out saying that their bars are actually 250 calories and people are losing their fucking mind. Losing these like independent studies. Someone was just like I've got a hunch. I have no idea what my sources are. But all I know is someone was like hey we tested it and the calories aren't. Also how does anyone test calories like how do people are freaking out. They're like this is protein bars. That's it seems illegal. Well but then David just came back. I don't think his name is David. I don't. Is he the actual. Mr. David has come back and he's they're like actually you tested it wrong but it's gotten all blurry and people are a gasp. People are. Oh my God. I would be. And the protein community is like the macros didn't make sense. This is weird. So at the end of the day one thing my mom who's a dietitian told me is just eat real food. Yeah. When in doubt just eat real food. If you're like should I have this fiber bar or should I have this protein bar. Eat a fruit eat a vegetable. And let's move on. Yeah. So let me watch out for that. Wow. I didn't expect I was I didn't expect coming in today. Yeah to get like the workout protein. Lore. Yeah. Speaking of food. Did you see the McDonald's CEO like taking a bite of like advertising the. Like New Burger and everyone's like he couldn't bite it when I saw it. I couldn't get there's so much content I can't get myself to actually watch. But I found interesting about it and not even that like not even that like he didn't do it like a normal bite. He like bit it as if he didn't want to eat it and that's it. Don't know how to act as humans. Well here's my thing. Why do we give a fuck about the McDonald's CEO like biting the burger. I don't care what's in it. I truly don't. I'm going to buy it. I don't need I actually don't if there's one thing on the planet I don't need you to sell me it's McDonald's. I'm going to get it. If there's one person who's not the McDonald's demo it's the billionaire CEO. I mean it's just like I don't even know. I don't know. But I also do you remember there was a Kim K ad where she got in trouble where they were like she next she bait down on that like it was some vegan burger she was promoting. Yes. And they were coming with that. It was like beyond burgers. Yeah. But also when you shoot these commercials you have to do it like 800 times so she probably I can't eat it anymore. I can't keep eating this. I think if I've ever had to eat something like on a shoot my biggest pet peeve is when there's a commercial where someone's like drinking water and you could tell there's nothing in the water bottle and they're fake swallowing. Everyone pisses me off. I'm like got ya. Or like sometimes when I'm watching TV shows I'm like what do they have in place of the alcohol. Apple juice. Yeah. Like what's in place of certain things. Champagne is apple juice the little sparkling water. Water I think. I believe. I think you are right. Movie magic. I will. Yeah. Like set design and not set design but yeah I guess set design. I am so fascinated by stuff like that. Like I love watching people come in and like do. Well there's food artists. Yeah. Food artistry I think is crazy. I love a food artist. Like how do we get here? One time I was on a shoot I forget what it was for but something was like sitting in ice cubes but the ice cubes were fake but they didn't look fake and I was fascinated. I was like oh my god and I went up to the like food director and I touched it and she looked at me and she was like don't ever touch that. I know your fingers told you. I was like I'm so sorry. I was just coming over to give a compliment. Now I have to go. No that's like matters the most at a food shoot. Like the model is the last thing. It's all about the food. Do not ever look at her and touch her stuff. We had empanadas yesterday. Yeah we did. We had a flight. A flight of empanadas. I don't think we've ever shared a flight of alcohol together but we have shared a flight of empanadas and that's like way more important to me. Also our drinking days we don't remember. I used to drink. Yeah you did. That's why I was so I was I couldn't believe you got a mocktail last night because I was like let me set the scene. I'm gonna get a cocktail and I drank that whole glass of wine. So you know why I didn't because we had a big day today. Oh because we had to go shopping. So this is where we fucked up. We had so much fun yesterday together. We said let's keep it going. We could have slept high. We would have had a sleepover if like Dez wasn't there. I would have been like what if we were about to have a sleepover. But I was like we're gonna go shopping. It's gonna be so much fun. You got there at noon. I got there at noon. I think I just started to rain. I really kept going. You know we would have kept going. Then I got home and I was like I'm done for the day. I'm exhausted. No why is it that like I could do a million things from like 6am to 6pm and like be fine. And then it's like when you have a leisure day you're like I'm exhausted. I'm like how do I have time for anything else. Oh my god I love answering emails and editing videos is my like relaxing. It's the best. If I'm on my computer and kitty's on the ground licking herself I'm like this is true happiness. So what I was saying is kids nowadays don't understand what it was like to be on your laptop in the bed. I think millennials we still do it. Well you have your little iPad sometimes. Are kids not using laptops? I don't think they're like bringing it in the bed. Like when we're making a big purchase we're bringing out the laptop. I've switched to making flight purchases on my phone. True yeah well the app is sometimes better. Yeah I'm like I have to make the switch. But do you ever like you're like I'm on my phone too much I just need to watch TV. You're like I need to get off the low screen and just watch. Well because my mom will text me all the time about my attention span. She's like tick tock rotting your brain you're not going to have an attention. I just need to watch a movie. I'm like mom that's for Gen Z not me I could lay in bed for 8 hours what are we talking about you've been around. But like I literally med it and like get off my phone to meditate while watching like a nice movie. Speaking of TV you rarely watch Love is Blind right? Have you ever? I feel like after the first season I was like got it and good yeah. I watch I've watched a lot of seasons not every season because sometimes the casting is like so bizarre but this year was or this place that they did it they did it in Ohio. Really Ohio has a lot of famous people that come out of there which I just find interesting. Anyway I digress. So they're doing their reunion was last night and I don't know what it is but Netflix just really has not figured out the reunion. I don't I honestly I don't think anyone has figured out the reunion but Bravo like Andy truly is as someone who's been at multiple reunions and then watched multiple reunions he truly is the best of everyone. Netflix no longer did it is doing it live which thank God because that was like I'm like guys no one can get a word in. Last year they had like some man come and like play basketball in the middle of it that was like so bizarre. This year now I'm going to be honest I skipped through some parts because I was like don't care about you don't care about you like don't care about this like okay. How do you really feel? She's like well they had so many like random interludes and I was like I don't care like that's so happy for the people that used to be on and they're like still married and thriving but like I don't care. I want to get to the couples. Now this is a very interesting show because it's hosted by Vanessa and Nick Lachey who are a married couple who should not be hosting reunions like I love them as the hosts I love when they come in. Are they getting along with each other? Yes but okay here's why. Because they people love commenting on their relationship. Yeah sometimes they're quirky and look and you know I love a quirky person so like I've been into it for this many years. Also we were raised on him and Jessica Simpson so we're like we know the lore here. And I love Vanessa like I've watched her on MTV. I'm a professional. Here's why I think it's weird when they do host the reunion is because he's a straight man and she's a married straight woman so. They need a gay man is what you're saying. No they need a gay woman. Well here's the thing they need a gay man because a gay man can get away with way more than a woman ever could. Like I could make a tiktok and verbatim say something about like someone's outfit and girls would be in my messages being like that's the meanest thing and it totally it could have totally been but if a gay man did it it's like maybe a little funnier he didn't really mean it. Like he can just get away with more things. As someone who's watching RuPaul's Drag Race every day these men are so mean to each other but they're so good at like making up and it being funny if it was girls fighting people would have. But instead it's like funny so you're so right the gay man is the perfect way like Andy's able to say the like. Like a shady thing. Be so shady. And people would be like clocked at your smart where if it was a straight woman they'd be like what's her problem with her. So you're jealous of her. So you're jealous. No that is so. I didn't even. Right. And with it being Nick Lashai being a straight man sometimes he wants to go hard at the other straight men which we want someone to go hard at them but it almost feels like a little too much when it's like straight man on straight man. Oh yeah I don't want to see a war. I don't want a battlefield. Yeah did they walk through like security check before they got here like we can never be too sure. Hannah the other day I was in the park and I walked past three 14 year old boys and in my head I was like they have a bomb. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. They walked over to the trash can put something in it. I literally go we got to go. And they goes I'm recycling ma'am. And I can't trust your kind. They both had they all. They picked up litter and threw it away that you dropped. All three of them had blonde curly hair. Something was up. Well they're getting perms nowadays. Something was up. They're getting perms. The boys are. I'm not getting it. It'll upset me. I'm not getting it. The millennial. I'm not getting it. We did so much work that the genesis have done. I'm not even getting into that. I'm not getting into it. Hot take about men. This is a really hot take. You love them. You know like a man's in jail. Totally. I watch a lot like Sierra Code documentaries. There's men in jail. They do all these horrible things. I was like what are you guys watching? And I literally said back like rainbows on the shore of like Canada or something. I don't even know. And you were like death in the room over. I was like Jesus. So fall asleep. So all these women will be like writing letters to men in jail. And I always thought like okay these girls are crazy. Then I realized maybe they're geniuses. Think about it. If your man's in jail, he's up to nothing. He's not showing up at your apartment. He also is dealing with, he's learned that there's repercussions for your actions. He is forced to go to therapy. He has some form of a job. He's got structure. He's got structure. He's up early. He's writing you novels. And like he doesn't bother you. Like low key I'm like. Like you could go and do whatever. He's not like tracking your phone. He's not tracking your phone. He doesn't have a phone. Some of them do. Oh because they stick in their butts. I mean. I'm not exact. I don't think. No. I think you just get them. You're not going to fight during that one minute phone call. No you're not. You're like you don't even know him well enough. You're still in the like flirty phase. Like you can't even get past the like cute phase because you only have a minute with him. I am such a girls girl. I'm like so for the girls. Like I really like I believe them first and like I root for them. Not all of them. Cause some of them are psychotic and crazy. Are you going for my girls who are calling? If you're writing to a person in jail to have a relationship with your insane. Look some people. Let them let them let them have her. No that's crazy. Let them have a crush. Like okay actually this reminds me of it because I feel like I heard this and I never forgot it and it's stuck in my brain. Remember Lacey Peterson who got murdered by her husband. Yes. When he went into jail the amount of women that wrote to him was like insane. No I know. You randomly not like you saw a guy on TV who killed his wife who like looks like a bad boy. How am I randomly happening upon in Mate 3.0 2 and Pekipsay. Like are you kidding? Like it was a bit. It was a bit I thought was cute that you made dark. You know what I do like though when you see a mugshot and you're like okay New York Fashion Week. Actually we could change your whole situation. There have been men and women that have gone viral from the people. Yeah remember that guy. People used to get discovered in malls now they get discovered with a viral headshot. Do you remember the viral felon who married the heiress to Top. He had gorgeous blue eyes I remember. What was that store? Why do I want to say Top Shop? I was going to say Top Shelf. You can find out that he like knows how to write. Like I've dated a couple guys where like I'm finally like hanging out with him and I realized that he doesn't know what punctuation is. I also think when you're writing to a guy in jail. You thought about this for a while. It's like when you over sex like you say all these things and then suddenly he's like hey I'm out you want to hang out and you're like no. This is me having fun I was just flirting. What do you that's on like a conjugal visit? I think that's hot because it's like you can't touch me. No that means you can. You can touch. What does conjugal mean? I think like having sex. Like touching. Is that the thing like in the back of your throat? Conjugal. Fornication. You can't have sex with them. Yeah you can in some jails. You have to be married. How do you know that? How do you know you have to be married? That seems fucked up. Does it? Yeah you should be able to have sex when you want to have sex. But it's like where do you go? They put you in a room. Haven't you ever watched a fashion show like Jersey Shore? I mean you've ever watched 50 cents music video 21 questions. I'm pretty sure it's like depicting a conjugal visit. Yeah I'm actually 100% positive. I don't think 50 cents conjugal visit in his music video is accurate. Okay well he went in a trailer for it. And that's where I do my research. Wait didn't the other day I feel like I said to you like yeah I really just like that person but like in a 50 cent way. Yeah. And I'm proud of that. And what do you mean by that? Like you want to make a documentary about them? Yeah like I could make a documentary and it would just like and I'd be like catch it. I feel like that's everyone. Wait I don't want to bring up Kanye West on this podcast. But I saw a quote from him the other day. Yeah. And somebody asked him if he wishes Kim the best. And he said no because that would mean she'd end up with me. So he's still flirting. I mean he's just an insane human. But that line absolutely ate you know. It's like how could I wish you're the best when I'm not available. This is your problem. You love a one liner. And sometimes you'll separate the artist from the art. And sometimes you'll want the one liner. Gotcha. Yeah. Sometimes it's too much. Supercharged with the help of zero and having your numbers sorted all at the same time. So you can finally focus on taking business where you want to. Supercharged your business today with the help of zero. Search zero with an X. This is your business. This is your business. Supercharged with the help of zero accounting software. This is managing cash flow. This is managing your cash flow with the help of zero accounting software. These are your customers paying you. These are your customers having more ways to pay you with the help of zero accounting software. This is your business. Supercharged with the help of zero helping you show your cash flow by giving your customers more ways to pay. So now you can focus on making your business. Supercharged your business today with the help of zero. Search zero with an X. Coco moco is this creator online who. I know we're going back into the protein bar. You know sometimes a threads pops up. My worst nightmare. Which by the way I don't look at threads. But then Instagram recommends threads to me and they don't have the same muting that I've done on my Instagram. So I have to re-mute my threads because I have my social media very organized for my mental health. But this was actually a funny one that came up from Coco moco and she said if men text in all lower case they're gay. Because that means they have to uncapitalize the first letter and purposely like my husband who's straight. Not to brag. In this day and age it's like oh wow. At first I made fun of him because he's writing like he's putting punctuation he's putting he puts comments he's 50. Even on Instagram he responds to someone's comment with like full punctuation. And at first I was like babe you're coming off like intense. This is too strong and then I realized. He's a straight man in his 50s. No. Yeah. When a guy is like I'm going to answer with an aesthetic. No the other. I'm like. Get evil up. The other day I was like watching a video or something and one of the guys was like I don't know if he was gay or not. I don't think he was. But if you have to ask. Yeah it's so true. But he was shortening every word like abbreviating it and there was like a straight man listening to the video as I was watching it. And it was just like so they were like he was like what are they say it was just I have an answer to that. Only gay men shorten words because gay men are busy. They have things to do. But like they have like their creative directors they have like multiple things happening. It's just like doing reunions. That's why they walk so fast like they're going places also they have to deal with like possibly getting chased by like angry straight men straight men. Like you know things happen. That's why they're good at reunions. They're busy. They're doing reunions. So we figured that out. Recently I was walking behind someone who was walking fast. What happened here recently. Sorry. Sorry. I'm in Canada. Sorry we've done this podcast for six years now. So this will be the topics moving forward. Sorry let me get this straight. Recently you were walking behind someone and that person in front of you was walking super fast. So were you walking behind them because it actually doesn't sound like you were. People have to talk about this. I hate a crowd. The second is a crowd drama. Also I don't care if you're walking with me. I'll lose you. I have to get out of this crowd. If you want to hold my hand come with otherwise I'll leave you for dead. But I'm getting through the crowd. Like you know what someone's slow. I'm like I'm sorry. I'm not I'm getting through. I'm getting through either. I'm a new very. Yeah. So it's really one for all and all for one when you're in a crowd. It's like if you're coming or you're not make the decision now. Yeah. Like if I make a move to go around you gotta go when there's an opening or like you're getting. You're fucked. If I sacrifice myself anyway. So I saw I went where is this. Oh I was in Indian Wells. There was a crowd and I said and it's Indian was a lot of retired people. It's calm. It's calm for me. Everyone's chill is a weekend. Social event. But I see this crowd is I can't do this. And then there's a woman in front of me with a backpack and she's not having it either. And she starts to like. So you hit yourselves through the back. I random woman. I go I'm following this woman. So she paves the way for me and me and this woman. We got through a whole tennis tournament together. And I just want to say shout out to that woman with the backpack and Indian Wells. Thank you for for being there for other women. The only way I could say that I can relate to that is you ever been in an Uber. You ever been you ever been in an Uber that gets right behind an ambulance. Let me tell you. That Uber driver is never been happier in his goddamn life. He's riding that Uber. He's riding that ambulance all the way down fifth half. Like I mean he's going he's moving. I was in Uber recently with a guy fully just went in the like empty lane that you're not supposed to go to. And at first I was appalled and then I said this guy's a genius. Yeah. Because when it's you when other people do it their assholes. Well I feel like when I'm in an Uber like unless they feel like you're going to sex traffic me I'm on your side. Like when an Uber guy when he hocks when he hocks. Stick up for us. I'm like it's us first the world right now. I'm like no that guy was crazy. You were in the right. And because I've been in Ubers that are low luck a day's ago. They don't care to like when it's yellow they just like stop like they're not in a rush. I'm like so you don't care about like my well being. I've low key been in Ubers and gotten in car accidents like fender benders. I've been in like two maybe three. That's right. You are in a lot of. I'm in a lot of Ubers. I have a question. What's your Uber setting? Like do you say don't talk to me? No I'm not a monster. I think at the vibes when I get in there. I'm the opposite. I have to say no talking. That's insane. They still talk to me because I have such a nice aura. Yeah. So when I walk in there was like hi and I say hi like polite but then I'm like I don't want to be in a conversation. When a little kid makes eye contact with me. Yeah. I'm making them other fucker laugh because my comedy it's child like it's I really kill it in the kid friend. The one tutorial demo like they get me like they isn't it funny at such a young age they know I'm trying to make them laugh. I actually would say even though you don't have children I would leave my children with you without even thinking of it because I know you're such a people pleaser that you're going to be like and what do you guys want to do? But that's the problem. What's the back? You know back and it's craziness. Like yeah. I'm an I'll be an enabler but they will have fun. They will have fun but I have to learn to put my foot down with my future on board childs. Yeah well your kids but like other people's kids you don't have to put your foot down so it's like a free for all. I jack them up. I get them so excited and then I leave before it's you have to pump to bed. Yeah. Did you babysit? You know I thought you ran like a baby sitting like right business. Yeah. There was always like one cool girl that like ran a full like. Not me. Not me honey. Oh you never babysit. One time I actually remember a mom like asking I was like a senior in high school maybe. Yeah. And a mom asking me like oh my god do you babysit and I remember being so offended. I was like no. Like and I remember calling my mom being like she asked me if I could babysit her kids like no no I don't know your kids. I don't know if I met your kid. Can I see a photo first? What's your sign? Wait asking for a photo I mean like no. I'm a pick me when it comes to me a babysitter I'm like who's your favorite babysitter and I mean I've like watched like my younger cousins. Like I've seen a kid before. But I'm like I can't get fired from this job. They're the purest form of a soul. Yeah. That's how kids are. You're just like I don't know. I don't know. You know like you're in the airport and you're waiting in line you want to fucking kill everyone and then some kid looks at you and is like hi. No. I actually get more mad. I'm like and there's goddamn kids. I don't have a follow up to them. Kids they do make stuff about them which I think that's what you don't like. They're like it's about me. Well I just find them annoying. I'm like be an adult. What does they have a good outfit on? Adorable. Well that's a testament to the mother. At the end of the day. It's all about the moms. It's all about the moms. Have you heard of this Nona Maxing thing? No. Really that hasn't come across to your like guys and like grandmas. Yeah Nona Maxing. It's no but I'm quite interested in getting generational recipes. Okay. Cotton nightgowns. Okay. Check. Check. Walking everywhere. Check check check. Italian penicillin soup. Air out the home. You must air out your home. Was airing out your house a big thing when you were growing up? No because we lived in New York City. Oh wait right right. Every single window in the house it would be like the first nice day and she'd be like we have to spring clean. It was as if like the pope was coming along. I feel like that's like a rural thing to do. Like you have to have nice air to do that. Yeah. Like you guys had nice air. Yeah we had nice air. Yeah we didn't. We were like over the yeah. That's true. Some guys smoking a cigarette outside. I'm like that's not fun. Now that I think about it like I feel like she was right. Yeah. Because you're cooped up all summer. Just breathing each other's air. Breathing in the same air. Yeah. I also feel like the most Italian thing about you is if you ever go to Italy or just in general even in Brooklyn old Italian women love to just sit out by their window observing. They're protecting. They're cutting in the gossip. They just sit there all day and like isn't she bored? No. She is people watching collecting information spying. My grandma had two rocking chairs outside on the porch. She was like come on we're going to sit outside. We're going to talk about the neighborhood. Like I was four years old and I was like she did what next door on my grandma. Are you fucking kidding me? Like my grandma was everything I want to be today. Like she smoked cigarettes just chain smoked them. And like I think we don't do that. I think about right because we don't do that. But I think about like if we were like girls at the same time like oh we would just got I would gossip and if I lived in the 50s all I would do is smoke cigarettes. In my family and just such a yuck or which someone messaged me it is run by Mormons. But okay. They're just kind of obsessed with lineage. Yeah. Um so I don't feel like the Mormons are like taking your info. So when I got all the way back to like the 1600s with my Italian ancestry I clicked it. One of them lived till 93. Wow. So I call my mom and I'm like 93 in the 1700s. Is that insane? Super insane. And she said Hannah there's these things called I'm laughing because now she's going to call me and be like you said the story right. Blue Zones. Blue Zones. Shut the fuck up. She goes we lived in Sicily in a blue zone. You know what a blue zone is? Yeah. How the fuck do you know what a blue zone is? There was like a documentary a couple years ago. When your mom being a dietitian she definitely saw it and it was about all these different places in the world that people live to like an insane age. So in Sicily there's blue zones where you have to walk up a cliff to get to your house and I guess it's so good for your lungs and like they pretty much have like a Mediterranean diet. They're just these healthy Mediterranean Italians walking all around. Imagine if I had 90 years of gossip. 93. But also back then I thought I thought you croaked at 36 93. Right. Who was he talking to? Did he have friends? Right. Were they all just old? But it's like I think then everyone moved to New York and everyone was like getting hit by trains. Like it was just craziness. But when you just live in a small Italian island maybe that's the way you do it. If you want to live a long life. It sounds like we're going back. We're going back to the homeland. I mean a blue zone does sound relaxing. Do you have blue zone in your family? I don't know. Well you have people family search at work. I have it to figure out where in Sicily. This pod is not sponsored by Mormonism or familysearch.org. Just want to say that in case anyone was wondering. But I did have a gigler message me who's like I work for like the Celsius of something really important as the Googlers do and she's like it's very legit. The census. Maybe. Celsius. That's a drink. Bless you. It's also a temperature. Oh right. I want to correct each other double wrong. You dumb bitch. Celsius that's a drink. Wait I'm listening. Yeah Celsius is a drink I drink once and bash my head through a wall. Okay and it's temperature for like not for Europeans. When are we ever using Celsius? It does use Celsius sometimes. And he's European. You just put him in point. Also he uses military time sometimes. Did things go out in my relationship that I'm working on? Okay but again that is European too. If they do that in Europe. Yeah it's Europe. Well we found out that Des read Wuthering Heights in one week. That's show everyone. No we found out that he re-read it. He was like well obviously I read it years ago. And they were like oh man pardon us. I was like okay well I read my first book in 20 years last month okay. What are you currently reading? The Googlers want to know. Seven has the seven has Evelyn what is it called? Evelyn Hugo. The seven husbands whatever that one. Is it good? Yeah it's good. I'm only on like I really am not doing well. I'm only on like page 50. I'm not doing well. Wait stop with the negative self talk. No and it's not the book. I like the book. It's just I'm not as into it as I was my last one. I don't know why. But I need to like buckle down. Are you going to read on flights? I don't think I can bring myself to do it. You know why you like a book? I know why you like a book. The aesthetic. It's an accessory. Totally. It's better. When you posted a photo of you at the beach I go oh yeah. You saw something in your lay flat and you were like something's missing. Something's missing. I was like should I do my sunglasses? No we're over that. Like we've seen those. And then they were like how about just a corner of my book. No I literally texted Kazzy and I was like I'm going to the beach. I'm going to take the best photo of your book. Yes. Yes. Because that's what friends do. That's what friends do. They support their other friends and they like want the best for them. We've been supporting women, gigglers supporting gigglers. We also are going to the I Heart Awards. Hell yeah we are. Pog Us Awards. We did forget to tell anyone to vote. And they closed the voting. Because you did that? Yeah. They closed the voting. Because you want to know what we're not pick me. We're like if you happened to pond it in your own time great. Yeah I'm not forcing the gigglers to get us an award. Also we don't need awards for happiness. We have each other. No and we do have the best podcast. We're also saying this because if we lose we're like well we didn't care. We didn't care. And then if we win we're like oh my god surprise. And if we win we're like we didn't even have anyone vote for us. So it's like double, double amazing. I'm wearing a pretty crazy dress. Yeah I still haven't picked out my outfit. I'm just like not loving anything these days. Are you going to try to match me? No. Okay. Do you think the gigglers are going to be for or against the dress? Which is basically do you think they're going to think you liked the dress or not? It depends how photographs. It depends how photographs. I like the dress because it's so true to you and like your personal style and being quirky and like trying something and being like you've seen that before and you're like I love that the way that looks and I think that's cool. Yeah and you go and I love when things get you excited. I love that. Pretty. So keep an eye out for those photos. Hopefully they come out well if they don't. Just just say a little like. Supposedly like. I support you. I support women in the arts. We love you guys so much. Thanks for giggling and we'll talk to you on Monday. This is you taking business where you want with the help of zero counting software. This is your business supercharged with the help of zero and having your numbers sorted all at the same time so you can finally focus on taking business where you want to. Supercharge your business today with the help of zero. Search zero with an X. You turned your dating app for pets into a business which just turned over its first billion. You turned around the fortunes of a failing football club. Politely turned down a Nobel Peace Prize and turned up on Mars in your own reusable rocket while struggling to turn on the dishwasher. There's more to imagine when you listen. Discover business development titles on Audible. Subscription required. See audible.co.uk for terms.