Recognizing What Battles To Fight | Joel Osteen

Hi, this is Joel and Victoria. Thanks for listening to our podcast and thanks for supporting the ministry. If you enjoyed today's message, why don't you be a blessing and share it with a friend? We appreciate you and pray for God's very best in your life. Well, God bless you. It is always a joy to come into your homes. We love you. We know God has great things in store for you. And if you're ever in our area, I hope you'll stop by and be a part of one of our services. I say it often, but these are the finest people in all of Houston, right here at Lakewood. We'll make you feel right at home. Thanks for tuning in. Thank you again for coming out. I like to start with something funny each week. And I heard about this blonde lady. And you know, I'm married to a beautiful, smart, intelligent blonde. This is just a joke. But this blonde was at Target and she saw this thermos up on the shelf. She asked the clerk what it was. He said, that's a thermos. You've never used one of those. She said, no. What does it do? He said, it keeps things hot and it keeps things cold. The next day she showed up at work with it. Her boss said, I've never seen you with the thermos. What do you have in there? She said, two popsicles and some coffee. All right. Hold up your Bible. Say it like you mean it. This is my Bible. I am what it says I am. I have what it says I have. I can do what it says I can do. Today, I will be taught the Word of God. I boldly confess my mind is alert. My heart is receptive. I will never be the same. In Jesus' name, God bless you. I want to talk to you today about recognizing what battles to fight. One thing I've learned is not every battle is worth fighting. Many of the challenges that come our way are simply distractions to try to lure us from our destiny. And when we have opportunities to get upset, maybe somebody is talking about us or a competitor at work is spreading rumors or our spouse says something that they shouldn't have. You have to ask yourself, if I engage in this battle and spend my time and energy trying to straighten somebody out, defending myself, arguing with a family member, trying to prove that I'm right. Even if I win this battle, what is the prize going to be? What is this fight going to accomplish? For instance, that person that cuts me off in traffic, if I get upset and cut him back off and let that ruin the rest of my morning, how is that going to benefit me? I don't even know the person. Five minutes later, they're not in my life. What's my point? There are no spoils. That's not a battle that is worth fighting. The reason many people are missing out on God's best is they're distracted fighting battles that don't really matter. Trying to prove themselves to people, trying to win over all their critics, playing up to someone, trying to get their approval. Those are all distractions. We need to choose our battles wisely. We're not supposed to be in a fight mode all of the time. And I know people, every other minute, they're upset with their spouse, aggravated at a neighbor, going to straighten somebody out at the office where they're talking about me. I'm going to show them how wrong they are. The next six months, that consumes them. Their time and their energy. They don't realize that's not a battle worth fighting. There are no spoils. Even if they do win, it's not going to put them further down the road. If we make the mistake of engaging in every battle that comes along and we're constantly defending ourselves, proving our point, straightening somebody out, then we're not going to have the energy we need to fight the battles that do matter. We're supposed to be warriors, but a warrior doesn't just fight any battle. He only fights battles where there is a spoil, a battle that is between him and his God-given destiny. I think about David as a shepherd boy. His father asked him to take his brother's lunch that were out on the battlefield. They had a much more prestigious position. David was stuck just taking care of his father's sheep. And when he got out there, he heard Goliath taunting the people, making fun of them. He asked the men standing around, what is the prize for the man that defeats this giant? They said the reward that person will get is one of the king's daughters in marriage and they won't have to pay any more taxes. Of course, that got David's attention. He knew that was a battle worth fighting. There was spoils, there was a reward there. When David's older brother, Eliab, heard David talking about fighting the giant, he tried to embarrass him. In front of all those men, he said, David, what are you even doing out here? And what have you done with those few sheep our father has left you with? He tried to make him feel small. He was saying, David, you're just a shepherd boy. You're not important. You'll never do anything great. I love the way David responded. The scripture says that David turned and walked away from Eliab. One reason David was a champion was he knew which battles to fight. David had feelings just like you and I. I'm sure he wanted to say, oh, Eliab, you think you're something great. You're nothing at all. He could have easily gotten into strife, started arguing, trying to prove to Eliab that he was important. But if he would have engaged in that battle, if he would have taken that bait, he would have gotten distracted, wasted his time and energy. And who knows if he would have ever defeated Goliath? Who knows if he had ever gotten to the battle that really mattered? You have to ask yourself, are the battles I'm engaged in worth fighting? Do they have any rewards? Are they furthering me toward my God-given destiny? Or am I just fighting to pay somebody back that offended me? Or fighting to prove to someone that I'm important? No, those are distractions. And I dare say most of the frustrations that come our way are not worth fighting for. If it's not between you and your God-given destiny, you should simply ignore it. Somebody doesn't want to be your friend. Somebody doesn't accept you. That's not going to keep you from your destiny. Somebody's rude to you at the office. Somebody cut you off in traffic. That's not worth starting World War III over. Don't engage in that battle. In the big picture, it doesn't even matter. When we get caught up in the petty battles, the non-essential ones, we may miss the Goliath that God puts in our path to push us into our divine destiny. The battles that do matter will come. We need to save our strength, save our energy for what's really important. And these days we're too easily offended. We're too touchy. I had a lady tell me last week, Joel, the reason I quit coming to church, the reason I hadn't been here in two months is because everybody was talking about me. Everybody was against me. I didn't say it, but I thought, ma'am, everybody doesn't know you. If you sit on that side of the building, the people that sit over there probably have never even seen you. What happened? She got engaged in a battle that wasn't worth fighting. One person offended her. Somebody said something she didn't like. Instead of letting it go and thinking this battle doesn have any spoils this battle even if I win is not going to bring me a prize She fell into that trap Well, I'm not going to come to church. Just show them, see how they take that. Funny thing is, services seem to be just as good as ever. Matter of fact, a little bit better than normal. That's what happens when we get involved in a battle that's not important. Things get blown out of proportion. Things get magnified. Everybody's against me. Everybody's talking about me. Now I say this respectfully, everybody doesn't know you. Everybody's not really interested. She got distracted trying to prove her point and it ended up not hurting anyone except herself. I remember years ago, I was at the mall with a friend of mine and we were headed toward our car. It was about 50 or 60 feet in front of us out the doors. And all of a sudden he stopped and said, no, let's don't go this way, let's go that way. I said, why? our car's right here. He said, no, I don't walk by that store. They did me wrong. He said, it's so dramatic and so serious. I thought for sure they'd accused him of something terrible or they'd stolen a lot of money from him. I said, what happened? He said, they wouldn't take back a pair of shoes. That had been like 20 years earlier. No doubt the original people were dead and gone. here he's still trying to fight a battle that has no spoils. The people he's trying to prove a point to are probably in heaven. If not, they're in Florida sitting on the beach enjoying their life. He's wasting his time and energy trying to pay somebody back. They're not even there to pay back. I want to say man alive, just let it go. I'll buy you some new shoes. Let me ask you, are you still fighting battles that have no spoils? Battles that are taking your time and energy and keeping you from pursuing what's really important? Your God-given goals, your God-given dreams? Choose your battles wisely. We only have so much energy. And when we get caught up in these things that don't matter, upset, offended, holding a grudge, paying somebody back, then when the real giant comes along, a real Goliath that's there to push us into our divine destiny, we won't have the focus nor the energy to win that battle. We have to realize some things just don't matter. Don't make a big deal out of it. When I first got married, I'd get so uptight if Victoria didn't turn all the lights off at the house when she left. That was my pet peeve. And I'd give her my speech again and again. Victoria, you gotta be sure and turn all the lights off. Well, I'd come home and all the lights were on. I'd get so uptight and go give her my same speech. She didn't do it on purpose. We just have different personalities, different strengths. After about five years of harping on that, I'm a slow learner, y'all. Bringing tension into the house, getting uptight, it finally dawned on me, Joel, this is not a battle worth fighting. If it costs you an extra $10 a month in electricity, that is well worth keeping the peace in your home. What's my point? The rewards were not big enough for the heartache it was causing me. It is worth $10 to have peace in our homes. How many battles are you involved in that do not have big enough rewards? How many arguments are you instigating? Or how much tension are you bringing into the home that could easily be avoided with just some minor adjustments? And you may be right. You may be able to win the victory, but a lot of times we win the battle, but we come out so battle scarred. We're beat up, wounded. We said things we know we shouldn't have, mad at ourselves, brought tension into the house. We won the battle, but we're sleeping in the garage. We won the battle, but our spouse is not talking to us. Recognize that battle does not have big enough rewards. You'd have been better off to be the bigger person, to overlook it, to let it go for the sake of peace. I heard somebody say a bulldog can whip a skunk any day of the week, but sometimes he realizes it's just not worth the stink. You may be right. You may have all the facts on your side, but is it worth the stink? Is it worth the pressure? The tension is going to bring into the home. What are the rewards? It's not enough to just, well, I proved that I was right. Now you'd be better to let someone else think they're right so you can keep peace in your home. Now I've found it's easy to start a fight, but it's hard to end a fight. It's easy to start an argument. It's easy to get offended and say things that we know we shouldn't, but it's hard to stop it. It's hard to let it go. It's much better to never even start it. That's what it says in Proverbs 20 verse 3. Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor. If you want God to honor you, if you want to enjoy your life, you need to be a peacemaker. Be the kind of person that will avoid an unnecessary fight. A fight that's not going to produce any good rewards. Your home needs to be a place of peace. You and your spouse need to be in harmony. You are stronger together than you are apart. Not only that, your children need to see a good example. They're going to treat their family the same way they see you treating each other. Don't make a big deal out of things that are not a big deal. remember the reason why you fell in love with that person. Focus on their good qualities. I heard somebody say, people will leave a marriage. They'll leave somebody that has 80% of what they need because they find the other 20% in somebody else. But what they don't realize is nobody has it all. And if you leave the 80 to find the 20 that your spouse doesn't have, you'll soon realize that other person is lacking in 20% of something else. You're still going to have something to deal with. It'd be better to just recognize no one person can give me everything that I need. I'm not going to get frustrated and try to change something I can't change or try to make somebody give me something that they don't have. And yes, the grass always looks greener on the other side, but remember, it still has to be mowed. Just stick with what you have. I've known people that have spent years and years trying to win the approval of someone, playing up to them, sacrificing their own identity, their own goals to try to impress a boss or to try to win over one of their critics. The problem is that person is never going to give them their approval. And if we're going to live in victory, we have to accept the fact that not everyone is going to like us and not everyone is going to agree with us. I saw an interesting statistic. It said 25% of the people you meet won't like you and never will. 25% won't like you, but could be persuaded to. 25% will like you, but could be persuaded not to. 25% will like you and stand by you no matter what. Life gets a lot freer when we realize if this person doesn't like me, if they don't want to be my friend, if they don't give me the time of day, no big deal. I'm not going to get upset. I'm not going to spend the next two years frustrated trying to win them over. I realize they're one of the 25% that are never going to like me I could compliment them every hour send them flowers every day mow their lawn every week but this old goat I mean this person is never going to like me Here the key You should not waste your valuable time and energy playing up to them, trying to change their mind, trying to convince them that you're important. Those are distractions. You don't need their approval to be who God made you to be. You don't have to have them accept you. If you will let that go and not get involved in battles that don't matter, then God will not only send you people that accept and approve you, but he'll send people that celebrate you. People that celebrate your talents and celebrate your personality and celebrate your accomplishments. You won't have to constantly be trying to prove yourself, walking on eggshells, hoping that you're good enough. No, you can just relax and be who God made you to be and they'll think you're the greatest thing in the world. It's like when I was growing up, my grandmother, in her eyes, I could do no wrong. Somebody ate the chocolate chip cookies before dinner. Who was it? Not my darling, Joel. It may have been one of his three sisters, but I know Joel would never do that. my sisters used to get so aggravated. They'd say, grandmama thinks Joel is a saint. I can't help it. I even had favor back then, but that's the kind of people God wants to bring you. People that are for you. People that believe the best. People that celebrate who you are. Here's something important. Quit wasting your time trying to win somebody over. That's never going to be won over. Quit trying to make somebody love you that's never going to love you. Quit trying to persuade them to be your friend when they're never going to be your friend. If you have to constantly play up to them and convince them you're important and talk them into spending time with you, that is a battle that's not worth fighting. You need to have the attitude. I know I have something great to offer. I am one of a kind. I have a great personality. I have the right looks and I'm not going to live my life trying to make people love me, trying to convince them that I'm good enough. I'm going to let that go and start trusting God to bring me divine connections, people that will celebrate who I am. Years ago, there was this couple that I knew and I really wanted to be their friend, but they were not that friendly to me. They were cordial. They would say hello, but it just seemed like there was always something that was keeping them from accepting and approving me. I just could not understand that. I went out of my way to win their approval. I introduced them to friends of mine. In fact, one connection led to them starting a business together. You would think they'd be appreciative and they'd at least be friendly, but still nothing. Eventually they got transferred and relocated to another city. And I found people to help them move and even gave them a gift for their new home. But in spite of all that I did, they would never even give me the time of day. And on top of that, a couple of years later, I got word that they were talking bad about me. They thought I hadn't done enough, hadn't treated them right. And here, there was nobody in the world that I'd done more for than that couple. I realize now they're just one of the 25% that are never going like me. I wish I'd known back then what I know now, that you don't have to play up to people. You don't have to convince them to like you. You don't have to buy people off. If they don't want to be your friend, just have the attitude too bad for you. You don't know what you're missing out on. When I quit fighting those battles, that's when God began to bring people into my life that would celebrate me. It wasn't long after that that I met Victoria. And even if she does leave the lights on, I'll still take her. She celebrates me. I celebrate her. One reason people will never accept us is because they're so insecure. They'll never give you a compliment, never let you in their group because they're intimidated. They're threatened by you. And the way they express that insecurity is to try to push you down so they will look bigger. They minimize so they can equalize. They'll diminish who you are and what you have to offer and your accomplishments so they won't look so small. People like that, you're never going to change. That's a battle that's not worth fighting. If you'll let it go, God will bring people into your life that add value, not take away. People that will celebrate who you are and be happy for you when you succeed. not people that find fault, not people that get jealous. We shouldn't waste our time in battles that are not winnable. Some people, no matter what you say or do, they're never going to change their mind. Really, all they want to do is argue. They just like to fight. If they're not fighting with you, they'll be fighting with somebody else. One thing I've especially learned is don't argue the scripture. Don't debate doctrine. Right after I first started ministering, this older gentleman came up to me and he was very, very serious. He said, Joel, I need to know what you believe about the second dispensation of the spirit. I thought, dear God, I must've missed the first one. I said, sir, I don't really know all about that. He said, well, Joel, I believe this and this and this. I said, you know what? I think you're right. I agree with you. He looked at me kind of puzzled. He said, yeah, but I believe this and this and this. I said, I agree exactly. He looked at me more confused, got a little bit redder in the face. Yeah, but Joel, I believe this and this. Here he had won the argument three times, but he wasn't happy. He wasn't satisfied. He wanted to keep arguing. He was in that fight mode. Finally, he was halfway convinced that I agreed and he walked away. And when he got about 10 steps from me, I said, excuse me, sir. I'm not sure I agree with that one thing. He turned back around. I said, I'm just kidding. I'm just playing. He was ready to fight again. People like that, that always want to argue. That's a battle that's not worth fighting. Even if you do win over one of your critics, you know what I found? Two more are going to pop up. The best way to answer your critics is not with your words, but with your actions. The best way to answer them is to let them see the fruit of a well-lived life. A reporter asked Bill Cosby the secret of success. He said, I don't know the secret of success, but I do know the secret of failure, and that is to try to please everybody. You have to accept that not everybody's gonna like you, not everybody's gonna understand you, but that's okay. Just run your race, be the best that you can be, and God will take care of your critics. I think about when Nehemiah was rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem, there were two men at the bottom of the mountain. named Sanballat and Tobias. They were his biggest critics. The whole time he was up there working, they were hollering, Nehemiah, come down here and fight with us. You are never going to finish that wall. You don't have what it takes. But I love the fact that Nehemiah was focused. They were making a lot of noise, threatening him, calling him names, but he recognized there was no benefit to fighting with them. That was not going to accomplish anything. he knew they were simply a distraction When God puts a dream in your heart there will always be the sand ballots and Tobias trying to engage you in battles that don matter They may talk a mean talk say things behind your back. They'll try to lure you into strife, but you've got to be disciplined enough to recognize when it's a battle that's even worth fighting. Just like David recognized that Eliab was simply a distraction, Nehemiah realized these two men were one as well. You have to evaluate that situation and only get involved in battles that will bring you a prize. I'm sure Nehemiah could have come down off the wall and put a stop to those two men. I'm sure he could have defeated them, but Nehemiah understood this principle of not wasting time and energy fighting battles that don't really matter. One time in the Old Testament, a prophet was walking down the street and this young man started making fun of him, calling him names, even throwing rocks. He followed him everywhere that he went, just pestering him, trying to pick a fight, trying to aggravate him. Finally, the men with the prophet said, do you want us to put a stop to him? Do you want us to shut him up? He is a real pain. I love the way the prophet answered. He said, no, let him keep talking. maybe God will hear him and bless me for it. That's the attitude we need to have. When somebody's talking about us, instead of getting upset, trying to defend ourselves, let's believe God will hear them and bless us for it. That takes all the pressure off. We don't have to try to pay people back. We don't have to get involved in battles that don't really matter. We know God is our vindicator and he's going to bless us because of what they're saying. That means if somebody's trying to make you look bad, spreading rumors, telling lies, really they have done you a favor. What they mean for your harm, God is gonna use to promote you. And I know this to be true because we have never tried to answer our critics. The more they talk, the more God promotes us. The more they talk, the higher we go. And when you're pursuing your goals and dreams in life, there's gonna be the critics and the naysayers telling you you can't do it, threatening you, trying to distract you. But understand, you don't have time to come down off that wall. You don't have time to convince your critics. You don't have time to argue. You have a destiny to fulfill. You have an assignment to accomplish. Those are battles that are not worth fighting. Learn to ignore the sand ballots and Tobias's. And before long, like Nehemiah, you'll complete your wall and your actions will answer your critics. And some of you today, if you just get a little more focused and not get involved in battles that don't matter, you would see God bring the Goliaths across your path. In other words, you would see God bring the battles that are there to bring you greater opportunity, to bring you greater promotion. When things don't go your way, you're tempted to get upset, you need to ask yourself, is this a battle worth fighting? Is it between me and my destiny? or is it just another distraction to waste my time and energy? If I engage in this conflict, is it going to be worth it? Remember, we don't have to fight battles to prove to people who we are or try to win over our critics or to play up to someone to get them to like us. Those are all distractions. Just stay focused on the main goals that God has put in your heart. Learn to not make a big deal out of things that are not a big deal. Let it go for the sake of peace. And if you'll be disciplined to fight the battles that do matter, then you'll see God do amazing things. Like David, you will defeat your giants. Like Nehemiah, you will complete your walls. That means you'll accomplish your goals, you'll overcome your obstacles, and you'll see God bring every dream, every desire he's put in your heart. It will come to pass. Amen. Do you receive it today? I know you do. Many people believe that God can heal, but when nothing is improving, our prayers are not being answered, it's easy to think, will God heal me? The truth is, God still loves to heal. I've witnessed God's healing power firsthand in my own family. When situations seemed impossible and medically speaking, there were no options, God stepped in and made a way. I'd love to send you our new devotional, God Still Loves to Heal. It's filled with scripture and encouragement, designed to strengthen your faith and help you believe for healing. Even when you can't see it, God is still working. As you stand firm and declare His promises, healing is on the way. The same God who healed in the Bible is still healing today. Your generous support is so important to help us share the message of hope. And as our way of saying thank you for your gift of any amount, Pastor Joel would like to send you a copy of God Still Loves to Heal, 70 Days to Receive, Reflect, and Rest in the Finished Work of God. This new seasonal devotional will guide you through a weekly rhythm where you'll be encouraged by life-changing insight that will strengthen and encourage you in your faith. Jesus cares about you physically, mentally, and emotionally. He forgives us, delivers us, and He heals us and makes us whole. With this inspiring devotional resource, you'll go on a healing journey. You'll enter into God's rest and restoration, knowing His promises are true yesterday, today, and forever. Receive your copy of this powerful new book and experience God's goodness and healing power. Be sure to request your copy of God Still Loves to Heal, available this month by simply visiting us at joelostein.com or call 888-567-JOEL. My mother was miraculously healed from terminal cancer. My sister Lisa was healed from a birth injury similar to cerebral palsy. What God did for us, He can do for you. Victoria and I are going to be praying for you this month, especially for healing for you and your family. not just physically, but mentally and emotionally, that you will be completely whole. We appreciate your prayer and support. Your generosity is impacting people around the world. And special thank you to our Champion of Hope partners for all you do to make the ministry possible. Until we meet again, may the Lord bless you and keep you. Be sure to request your copy of God Still Loves to Heal available this month by simply visiting us at joelostein.com. or call 888-567-JOEL. And you can fill your year with strength, peace, and encouragement with the Healing and Wholeness Collection. It features God's Word for every season, a guided four-part journal series to help anchor your heart to His promises. Plus, God still loves to heal and the blessing of taking communion. Together, they'll strengthen your faith, renew your hope, and remind you that Jesus still heals and restores today. You can request these inspiring resources by calling 888-567-JOEL or logging on to joelostein.com today. Call or click anytime, 24 hours a day. Request your copies today. Thank you.