Ep 73: 3Fun vs Feeld – Which App Is Best for Swingers & Threesomes?

Find us at vanilla swingers.com and you'll find Kat's only fans page there too. You wish. Hey Kat. Yeah Leo. I'm going to record one of those silly disclaimers that you put at the beginning of the podcast. Real advisory sticker. Let's go because this is going to be explicit. Oh yeah we're going to talk about lots of sex. Lots of bad language. We might even have sex on the podcast. We might have. Listening to the noise of our love making. There might be nudity. But you can't see it on the podcast. Doesn't matter. You can hear it. You can hear the nudity. We might corrupt you if you're under the age of 18. That's the disclaimer. Don't listen. We're not professional. What else? And yeah we're not professionals. We know nothing. Absolutely nothing. And if you want to try to sue us? Well we don't have any money either. Because this is bite-size and commercial free. We're not trying to make any money. It's fun. So you like it? And tune in and listen. Subscribe. Word. Well we feel so breathless. Are you talking about our houseboat threple adventure we went on last night? Hell yeah. Boy. Cool. Two girls. That was next level fun. And you know that's all to you because you like to do different. If we're going to be seeing the same person you really like to shake things up. Not the same hotel. Not the same house. I think it's also kind of rooted in one of those tips that we've given previously. Especially as it pertains to unicorns. Is that you should never overlook the date aspect. And so you decided to take them on a date on a houseboat and spend the night and have a sleepover. I like to be the fun couple. So if we ever got divorced you'd be the fun dad wouldn't you? You'd be terrible. I'd be like I'd be the disciplinarian. I'd be the one that they'd all hate mom and they would love dad. I think she brought us gifts. She did. Pusher. Pusher. She brought us gifts. She always brings us gifts. And one of the things she brought us was breakup brittle. She wanted to apologize. I didn't realize it was called breakup. She was trying to break you guys up. So we'll give it to the kids. We're not going to eat that. And I said yeah right. You're trying to break us up because you're trying to steal them. I know it. I know it. This was one of those Airbnb's that they do where they're like unique. They're like in a tree house. I want to stay in a tree house. Can we do that next? Definitely. We stayed in a year before. Same idea. And we found this houseboat which was very near her. Not far from us. It's a 100 year old restored boat. And it was so wonderful. We had below deck. We had like a little kitchenette. We had a bed big enough for the three of us. We had a seating area. That bed was barely big enough for the three of us. I did end up sleeping on my own for a little while. You know the cat's going to bring that out later. And we've got a manicorn in the bed. Hold up. Wait a minute. Something ain't right. Leo. Fair is fair. Leo this bed's a little bit small for the three of us. But you mind sitting over there. He's new. It's strange. Come on. And then we had the above deck where we were able to have some drinks. They had twinkly lights strung out there. And we were all by ourselves like. We were making margaritas. In a harbor. In a marina. But there were no other people. So yeah. We might have got frisky on the dock outside of the boat. Yeah. We were on deck. We were on the dock. We were below deck. It was. There was a lot of sexy fun going on. And a lot of friendship. And it was just amazing. Yeah. I think when you create one of those moments. It is the spaces in between. I think that she described it as magical. And I think that summed it up pretty well. I responded to her with some sparkly emojis. It was just sparkles. I think that's what you want to do. If you can. Is to try to be that couple that creates magical moments where you're actually looking forward to seeing them again. And if we could ever get a manacorn to come back. They'd be like you guys are some chill and cool mother efforts. We'll do the boat again. I know that boat was really to die for. It had an Amsterdam feel test because in Amsterdam we like to go camping and caravans. Amsterdam is one of our favorite places to visit in the entire world. Amsterdam. A city famous for bicycles canals and the type of fun that you don't tell your mother about. And so it felt like a camper van on the water. Like right. I loved it. Dutch are really boho. A couple of things that Americans know Amsterdam for is smoking weed. In the red light district. In the world's oldest profession. But one thing that a lot of people don't realize is that Dutch love bicycling and they love camping. They love camping and they also love boating. Yeah. They definitely love boating. Cruising the canals. And so it felt like a little bit of a Dutch tryst. Boho. Oh, it was fantastic. Wonderful magical. We are in NRE 100 percent. Yeah. So the threpple just keeps kind of getting better and better. And I've lost track of how many times we've seen her now. We already have another one in the work. She's going to come down to our hometown for the first time. It's going to be fantastic. But yes, if you're a newbie couple, you're looking to play, let's say with a single gal, single guy. Remember, don't overlook the opportunity to turn the meetup into like a date, whether it's at a bar, it could be going dancing. But what if you're dating a couple? Don't you still want to make it fun? Or is it not matter as much because at the end of the day, you've got your partner? I think it doesn't matter as much personally because when you're single, how many times do you have an opportunity, let's say going out to dinner? That's true. We're going to get a drink out because you may not have somebody to go get a drink with you. You want to go out with friends, lovers and especially just that feeling of going out on a date night. That's a great opportunity. Whereas couples, they get date nights with their spouses. Yeah, I think they're probably not as sensitive. They're looking for sexy fun. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't still decorate your room because nobody needs to have sexy fun in a boring old state hotel room. With all that said, Kat's still in a drought. I know it's really bad. Like I am parked over here. What are we up to? Eight weeks? I think it's a fully weeks. I'm really, I'm almost about to give up. It'll get better. It's a slump. I'm in a slump. That means I'm going to start hitting home runs, right? Baseball, it goes long stretches and then all of a sudden you break out and you start hitting grand slams. I mean, one of our main reasons why it's such a slump, in fact, it's been a really long time, is single guys are really in a, okay, what's going on tonight? What's going on tomorrow night? And so there's not a lot of planning in advance. Well, one of the things that I think this touches on that's really apropos is we're talking about having a threeple on a houseboat and it was just fucking magical. It was next level. The other thing we were talking about just the other day is that previously we've said that single guys in the lifestyle, that some people split hairs and say, oh, well, you're not really swingers. Right. And we've always felt like if you're doing something, swing or adjacent. If you're going to a swinger club, you can call yourself a swinger, right? Yeah, like gatekeep. Yeah. I think we took that back. We realize now that is the problem with single guys. They are not swingers. Whereas a unicorn, they are swingers or they are in the lifestyle, which makes them really fantastic people. Yeah. Because we were talking just the other day, we were saying about vanilla friends versus lifestyle friends. And these friends are really boring. Boring. They are. After a while outside of family, extended family, sometimes the vanilla relationships, you know, we've got a handful that go way back and those are really good. But a lot of them tend to be kind of surfacant. Yes. And a lot of people in the lifestyle, they actually know you probably better. Which is crazy because we don't talk a lot about our personal life, even with our friends we're playing with. However, there's just such a deep connection because you're dealing with some really deep emotions since you're dealing sexually. I think we were talking about this last time that we would sit down with Poofer and just kind of get to know each other a little bit better in kind of that vanilla way. She brought a card game, but we never got to her. We never got to her. So we still don't know each other. No. We know each other in the biblical sense. But soon we're going to sit down and just say, tell me a little bit about yourself. We're working on it. Yeah. But that also lifestyle folk are some of the friendliest people that you ever meet. I love having them all in my phone. Like we've got another person who's been sliding into our DMs. They call me their fairy God swingers. Yeah, I like that. And so we're their fairy God swingers. And so I think we're probably that to a lot of you out there. You've got to read a little bit about what they wrote. It was a sentence that they DMed us and you read it while we were on the deck of the boat. I did because it was writing about our houseboat adventure. I had mentioned that we're going to go on a houseboat tonight and it was just so priceless. I had to read it to everybody in the moment. They have a gift for gab. They're like a word sniff. So he's headed to a party and he said, wouldn't it be cool if we saw you there? Come to find out. You're playing 3D chess to my checkers. You suck my battleship. I'll be on dry ground while you're singing. Fuck, Lid. I'm on a boat motherfucker. On a boat, bitch. You drinking Santana Champ because it's so crisp. This is where you'd insert a song clip on the pod. I don't know which of you has gone off the rails with the sound effects lately. You're talking about that dumbass Leo. Leo, the fuck out of here. But I am here for it. But for all of those great things, talking about lifestyle folk, talking about unicorns, how much they enjoy the spaces in between, single guys, they don't have any of them. No. For the most part. They're the guys that are on the apps like Cassidy or SLS and they're probably in about the 47 plus range with experience. They've got 20 validators. They're swingers. They get it, but I'm not dealing in that pond. And they are very hookup mentality. They are here for a good time. They're hardly even here for couples. Okay. So and they don't have any of those soft skills that you generally find with lifestyle folks or unicorns. Right. So I love lifestyle people. They make the best friends. I love all the unicorns in our lives. And yet I am choosing to play it with people who are not even in the lifestyle. But we're going to break that drought. It's coming up. We're going to go Denver, Las Vegas, SoCal. Those are all fertile ground. And we're going to make something happen. We're not going over on any of them. We are going to actually try a little harder because we realize part of our issue is we were a little bit paralyzed with, we find something and we fixate on it and we don't really swipe and be looking and let's do some meet and greets with some people. We're not totally sure about, we just were like, I want this one and that doesn't work. You got to ride that bull and stay on long enough like Drago to make something happen because we found Drago. I say that because he is on his insta riding the bull. Drago was our Russian who came through town. We don't ever put ourselves on the apps in town and we did randomly for like, you know, an hour or so just kind of pop in, pop out and we found him because we were in the game. We got to redouble our efforts. Having a few weekends of cray-cray will really go a long way for us. The whole road trip to LA super fun. We'll have a great time. So what are we talking about? My sexy soulmate. We are going to talk about the state of modern dating because we actually have a little bit of experience with the whole swiping culture now. Do you know how much I adore you? I do actually. Just like that. I've always known, but I feel like now that we're in the lifestyle, I know it just to a higher degree. I don't know. Like I feel like it's on a different plane. It is on a different level. It's not that you love me more. I know it more. I feel it in my core. It's special. I don't like to not be around you. I know when I run downstairs to get some sweet tea at Popeyes and Leo's in the shower and I'm like, you taking too long. I need some sweet tea. And he's like, don't be gone long. I'm going to miss you. You complete me. God likes to listen to him. I'm not who I am without you. So, and I like it. I don't mind that. I know a lot of other people will say that you need to be your own person. We are not our own people. I've said it to you many a time. You've made me the person I am today. I wouldn't be who I am today without you. And I think that one of the things is, is we go through the lifestyle. I very much enjoy that you and I are so in sync, so on the same page. Oh gosh, we share the same half of the brain. We don't even really need to talk out loud because we know what each other are thinking. I remember we met with that one couple in our backyard. And one of the things they said at the end of the night when they were wrapping it up and they were trying to shoot their shot, see if we could play that night. And I was doing some of the talking and he said, that's because you're always doing some of the talking because I don't shut up. Shut your pile. And he said, we haven't heard from her. That's right. As to what is she thinking? Is she interested in play? Because you said all the things. Well, maybe not tonight. We're thinking tomorrow. And I almost laughed out loud because I don't think they quite understood that when I say something, we speak for each other. When you say something, you speak for me. You know, we share a phone in our real life and in our sus life. We don't have separate phone entities. We're just that's our phone, one phone. Yeah, you're talking to Kat, but then Kat shares it with me. We're just one brain cell together. I don't know. We really are. Anyway, we're talking about the dumpster fire of modern data. Did you know that I've heard it said that swiping is the new slot machine? It's a shit show. It is fantastically awful. We are dealing with it because we play with a lot of singles. So we see them searching on the apps for another single. And I just couldn't cringe more to think that that is the state of how you have to try to meet people today. Let's talk about our lovely airline stewardess, Unicorn. Want to get away? She was talking just the other day about she doesn't really do her love life through the dating apps. She's not in the lifestyle, per se, which I love. She's just kind of going through life in an E&M fashion. She's kind of dipping a toe in the water. But ultimately, all her friends are just getting married now. You know, maybe some of them are starting families. And I think she's like, I'd like to find my primary person. I'd like my one. But she's had like one threesome with a couple ever. And we're going to make it two. Yes. On Halloween. One, two, three. Yes. Isn't that a perfect timing? It's the perfect time on Hallowe's Eve. But she said, I meet people in real life. And she is the exception and not the rule because these days that is just not how it works. And the apps are so terrible because we see it. It's so looks based. But she's fine as hell, but she also has this ever-vessent, bubbly personality that she steals the room. Opens people. And she said, it's easy to meet people. She said in person because I just talk a lot. Yeah, people gravitate towards her. 100 percent. And so that works for her. But yeah, I mean, dating apps has got to be one of the conduits because everybody's doing it. And it's difficult, you know, we're swiping, right? I'm swiping on the single guys. I go so fast with such abandon next, next, next, next, next. So much so that there was a guy we saw on an app based on the photos. We nexted him. We ended up meeting him in person at one of the lifestyle clubs. And he had such a fantastic personality and he showed so much better than his photos. We're like, he's pretty damn attractive. Who are we talking about here? We don't have a name for him. Some guy we met at one of our three sims in Vegas a few months ago. And so that just goes to show the looks based. It's so much different than when you meet people in person. You really can't judge a book by its cover, but that's what you're doing. Yeah, that's the chief thing about dating apps that's broken is that it's entirely looks based. Nobody cares what you're writing on your profile. And I'm not saying that that doesn't contribute somewhat. But when you have such an overabundance of choice that if you just keep swiping another one that's better, which come along shortly and I'm telling you, most girls don't even go beyond that single photo. So it's not just looks based. You better pick the first picture to be damn good. And if for some reason, you know, maybe your first photo, you're with a dog or your first photo is a little far away. That might be enough for one girl to be like, next. Don't take a scenery picture. I don't know why people do that. They take a picture of a flower. They take a picture of a waterfall. I don't even give that one a chance. You might as well be saying I'm not photogenic. Only ones I'll give a chance on the don't show a face right away is if you have a really great torso. Don't take the bathroom selfie. Don't take a picture in the mirror where the background is all disheveled and messy. Don't take a picture of yourself smoking a joint. If you're sitting there and you're smoking a J in a cloud of smoke, it tells me that that's like your entire identity. It's OK if you have a photo and maybe you're holding a beer. You know, maybe you're kind of imparting. I'm a fun time kind of guy. I'm a fun time kind of girl. Totally fine. And we're the furthest from anti-drug. We're not T totalers. We're party people. But when I see that, it's a bit of a turn off because it's almost like you don't really have anything else. You're kind of a little bit shallow when you do that. Don't take a selfie where you're flipping the bird. Oh, God, if I see flipping the bird, that's an automatic next. I don't know what you're thinking that you think you're going to get a girl in the bedroom, and that's kind of the crass gesture you're going to show. Don't take group photos where I can't tell which one you are. And you're not the most handsome one in the photo. I'm going to pick the one that's the most handsome and probably not you. Is that when you know I'm on the right? Damn, OK. Try not to make duck face. Try not to have all of them be oddly specific angles. We just need a straight up smiling photo, maybe a brooding photo, whatever. And show a body picture. Here's a cheat code, guys. OK, if you want the best profile photo out there, I know what you're going to say. You want to say it. So go ahead as Kat is apt to do, since we do share the same half of the brain. Go ahead and complete my thought, Kat. Show a fireman photo. We got a fire and we got to put it out. Damn. Go to a place where you can rent a costume. What fire fighting is all about. And I mean, rent it like you are in the middle of fighting a fire. Panty dropper city. You could be just a volunteer firefighter who's never actually gone out there. Damn, every time it stops me in my tracks. If I'm single and I'm going back in the dating pool, I'm going to go get certified as a volunteer firefighter. I'm going to take that picture. It's going to be my profile picture. But on the other hand, more ass than a toilet seat. You are going to get a lot of ass, but it's going to be in a very hookup mentality. If I was swiping on Tinder or Bumble or anything. There was something wrong with that. If I was swiping on one of those vanilla ones, looking for my person, my main squeeze, I'm not sure I'd swipe on a fireman. Or a damn liar. You were you kidding me? I just told you a damn fib. I did not. How you going to lie to the people like that? Did not. You would absolutely. Because, you know, I think that so many girls, they get on the apps, especially like Tinder. It is a hookup app and it's a hookup mentality. But most girls have hope springs eternal in their heart. Because we all want connection. You guys are emotional creatures and who are you talking to? Emotional. No, you are not emotional. Oh, come on. I'm hardened and cold and cruel. And I think at the end of the day, yeah, you kind of into it with the hookup. But that's not really what you want. That's what you're saying. That it may be turned into a relationship. Be a fireman. Be a fireman. Oh, and then photos of you in front of the Eiffel Tower or Pisa. That doesn't do any good. What are you saying? I'm a globe world traveler. Yeah, I mean, it's can't. Maybe it's catnip to somebody. But I think what you should do is go on the apps and swipe through and find the profiles that you think are good for your sex. You can't see other men's profiles unless you sign up as a woman. Oh, then sign up as a woman. That's a cheat code. Just do it. And then you get to also see what your competition is like after a day or two. Yeah. And yeah, you always wonder, why do they not write you back? You're going to see. I have so many DMs as a single female. You know, we are on the apps on field. I'm a single female because they don't have a couple option. And then I set ourselves up as all our photos are us together. Our whole bio says we're a married couple. But I come out as a single female. I mean, I probably have a thousand, few hundred. I don't have a lot of likes, but I don't even go through the hearts. I just swipe myself. Yeah, a lot of girls, they probably hop on there with some newbie optimism. And it doesn't take long before you get ground down because it does paralysis by too much choice. Yeah. And that and then you probably encounter a lot of guys with low emotional issue about ghosting is the new breakup. You know, really, you can't just like speak your mind. You can't just say, OK, this isn't going to work for me. Yeah, but that's something that you're going to just have to get used to, because we find that, especially a lot of people in the lifestyle ghosting, they're offended by the notion of ghosting. They'll say, well, can't you just have the decency, the maturity to say the reason? But the fact of the matter is, is that most people don't want to know the reason. They do not want to know the hard truth. And ghosting is the kind of option to ghosting. There's the ghosting. As soon as someone sends you their face photo and you ghost, you're basically telling them I wasn't attracted to you. I think that's an OK ghost. Did you really want me to say I'm not attracted to you? Isn't it better to ghost in that regard? But the second ghosting is once you've already had a play encounter. Well, that's that hurts a little more. I don't like those and I get those too. Well, just like no is a complete sentence, ghosting is a response. That is your reply. The non reply is your reply. They're telling you for whatever reason, this isn't going to work. Now, with that caveat, what we found is that if you've reached out to somebody and you haven't heard any initial communication, one of the pro tips is that you shouldn't be afraid to reach out again. Right. Because even though, yeah, that's ghosting. On the other hand, let's say you're a couple and you're looking for a single female on the apps. There have been many a time on Cassidy where I don't hear back from the single female. I write them back in a month. Some of those have turned into play opportunities for almost half. Well, eventually respond back for the first time. And it's because they get overwhelmed by the responses. You might just get lost in the shuffle. And I think persistence is definitely a very valid thing with the dating apps. Because don't look like a stalker. We have this dude on Cassidy who was so persistent. He's a Vegas local. He's an older gentleman, but with a ton of validations. And that damn man kept coming into our DMs for like a month straight on and off. I never said anything. I just didn't reply. You're talking about Greek. I am. And finally, I had to tell him, I appreciate your persistence. I'm sure it works for you, but I'm not interested. But that damn man has so many validations. And I know it's because he's persistent. Well, he's going to get a lot more validations now. So you're saying you should be like a Greek firefighter. Is that it? Well, the firefighter thing. It must be working for him. I am not going to lie. I only have had the wildland firefighter. I almost had a fireman here. Very disappointed that one didn't pan out. I want him to bring his fireman pants with the suspenders into the bedroom. Listen, listen to Uncle Leo. Either get the firefighter costume. And I ain't talking about you looking like the fire chief, you know, where he's got the badge on his uniform. I'm talking about you need to be in firefighting mode, but without the helmet on. There was another guy that slipped into our DMs, who was a fireman. He was visiting San Francisco from the Bay Area. So this guy slid into our DMs. Now he was looking for a single female. And he made it very clear. Well, kid, do you play separately? That's right. He was that was the first time we've ever had that happen, that somebody was real persistent about trying to get you to come out without your husband. You don't understand. Our profile is very clear. We only play together. Married couple. We're looking for MFMs. MFS. I mean, it's real clear what we're looking for. Well, we do include a shirtless photo you and you probably look a little like, let's not mess with that dude. But the fireman, he decided to mess with it and he kept going. Are you sure? Are you sure that I can't get you to come out alone just this once? I wasn't offended at all. I didn't really take him seriously. Did you kind of like his? I thought it was kind of humorous, but Uncle Leo is also going to tell you, if you can't get a hold of the fireman costume, what's the next best? Be a porn star. What a painy dropper. You're not going to get in any long term relationships, but you might get more ass in a toilet seat. Yeah, there's been two porn stars that I've come across on the apps. Always it's the corn and the star emojis. And they always catch cats eye. Yeah, I don't know. I just like buggy list. And one of the things that always struck us when we first started at this is what the lifestyle, we started out where everything we did was in person and we took a long time for a full year and we highly advocate. Don't jump on the apps till you have your feet wet. Maybe a whole year. You're absolutely so crush because it is looks based. And if you struggle in any way, like, I don't know, I don't take a good photo. Then you're going to struggle and it's going to hurt yourself. Esteem and lifestyle clubs actually boost yourself. Esteem because people are so welcoming and they embrace sex and doesn't matter. Your body type, your age, your ethnicity. So also, you know, in a lifestyle setting, I think that FOMO sets in for a lot of people. You paid your ticket to ride and you want to ride the roller coaster. And when you get in there, somebody who you might have swiped left on in a lifestyle club, when you can see their personality, their sense of humor, it softens a lot of the edges and you grade on a curve and people will be more receptive to you in real life oftentimes than they will on an app. So go to events, go on cruises, go to clubs. If your club in your area sucks, try to travel. You know what? I'll take a hot flight. I'll go to Vegas for the weekend. I'll go to Denver for the weekend. I'll go somewhere that's near you, Florida. Check out some new clubs. Yeah, we've said before that it turns out that the lifestyle is, it's a pretty small community and I don't think that we would have had half the amount of fun that we've had. If number one, we didn't do three songs. That is the absolute g code. Because if it was just couples, because that's not even half the amount of fun is going to be hard. People complain about it all the time. And the other thing is if we didn't travel as much as we do, because eventually you run dry and you need to find a new vein. And if you go to a new city, it's all of a sudden just opens up all the possibilities. Yeah, like we're planning to try in the New Year Club, Provada up in Oregon. We have all sorts of new places we'd like to try. And it's giving us the opportunity to go check out a new city for a weekend. It's not that expensive. Find like a cheap holiday in, see if you could find a spirit air, frontier air or drive. The bottom line is, is that the people who are killing it on the apps are people with an Instagram filter on in real life. And in person is always going to be softer, kinder. People are going to be more receptive to start there. And then when you build up a certain amount of confidence, then go ahead and gravitate towards the apps and try your hand because you're going to get ghosted. You're going to feel the sting of rejection. And so you need to have built up that armor ahead of time, because it's not easy. And so when we finally arrived in our journey to go on the apps, which really started January of this year. So I mean, a full year of play, a year and a half into our actual journey. The first thing we really remarked was it's so weird. Being a couple and having bypassed those apps to have to find love and companionship that here we are subjecting ourselves once again, catching the last copter out of NAM. I'm going to kill him. That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. I hate that saying. Okay. If I have to hear it again, I'm really. Remember listeners, when you see Cad, slap him. Tell her last copter out of NAM. Anyway, I remember the first time that we met by babe in Colorado. It was the first time we met somebody off the abs. We met at a Starbucks. Like a meet and greet date. And you know, funny thing, little fun fact about us. We don't drink coffee at all. No, Starbucks dates, although we do like espresso martinis, which is weird because we don't like coffee. After a while, we said, we ought to just keep the cup. And that way, if we go to Starbucks as a routine meet and greet, we don't have to buy a new one each time. Just show up at an empty Starbucks kind of person. But we sat across from them and we said, does this ever get normal? Because it just feels weird that we're sitting here having a meet and greet for a threesome. I don't think it's weird for a single because they're like, what's the difference? I'm meeting a single for a look up. I'm meeting a couple couples dating couples. That's weird too, because you're like, do you want to swap partners? Facts. They're also, you know, singles are so much more acclimated to putting themselves out there. The dating culture. There's the rejection. There's the ghosting. They're looking for love. That's why there's so much more intentioned. And I like that. Whenever you meet a single person on an app, you know that at the end of the day, they probably want it to culminate in a night in the bedroom. Yeah. If we hit it off, it's probably going to end up. It's going to be between the sheets. Whereas with a couple, you know that the chances of it ending in the bedroom the same night is probably slim to none. Yeah. Flip a coin. Because it's an OMC. Yeah. You got criticize. I did. I'm not going to say by who I got called an OMC. I was really. And she was trying to push your buttons because I forget she was trying to do something really wild and you were having none of it. I will have you know, I'm not an OMC. But as soon as she said that, she got your attention real quick. What the hell did you call me? But we came up with that term, the OMC, because we all act like that at one time or another, probably in our vanilla lies. That's how most of us are. You get a little bit comfortable in your life. I don't care if you're 27, 37, 57. But if you've been married for 10 years, you are a little bit like an old shoe, comfortable in your setting. You don't like a lot of change. Yeah. We're not talking about your age. It doesn't matter what age. We're not talking about your old. It just means you turn boring. Yeah. It's like the whole ball and chain thing. Let's just stay home, honey. Let's watch some TV. You can call it a boring married couple. Yeah. Don't be that boring married couple, especially if you're going into the dating app pool, you're going to find that if you're that fun couple, you're going to be more attractive to other couples. You got to bring the excitement. You got to bring the party. And one of the things that we always preach is that you got to, especially if you meet a single, never overlook that you're not doing this just to find the sexy fun. You're really missing an opportunity if you don't take the opportunity to make a date of it. Yeah. And I don't know if that's the same with a couple, because couples at the end of the day, they don't have as much time. You know, they got babysitters and everything. So maybe they just want to meet more at a hotel and have some drinks. But single people, you should go axe throwing. You should go to fun, tiki bars. You should take them out on a date. Cause at the end of the day, this is an outing for them. Yeah. Because they'll remember that because to be honest with you, other people aren't going to do that. And you're going to be that couple. I know we like to be that couple. That brings the excitement. And for us, it's an opportunity for us to go to these new bars. We would never do that. We're like, honey, let's just get a bottle of champagne and share it between the two of us. We're not going to spend to go to these bars by ourselves. Something that we might have not otherwise done if it was just the two of us and it was fucking magical. We took Lana in a yurt. Yeah. And we took her in a yurt. We took her to a yurt. That was a little bit of a Freudian slip. And I think that that goes back to what we were saying is in the dating pool, you do want to be exceptional if you can. You've got to do something that makes you stand out. Don't just be like everybody else. Don't be an OMC. And so we have never been on Tinder or Bumble or Hinge because they apparently kick couples off. So all we can really comment on in the state of modern dating is really based on three fun and field. We've already done a review of field. We've done Cassidy, a little bit of SLS or SCC. But what I wanted to do is I really wanted to do a little bit of a comparison between three fun and field. So if you're a couple and you're looking for other couples or if you're especially looking for threesome partners, these are the apps you want to go on. Yeah. But the TLDR is, is that three fun, except in rare instances, depending on which cities you go to, is just not as good as field. It doesn't have the critical mass or the intentionality in my opinion. It felt like the app itself was a flash in the pan. It came on the scene. Everybody jumped on it because it was free of three fun. Then it didn't really yield much fruit and everybody abandoned it at the same time. We're on them both. We did pay for both of them. If you pay for them, you have a lot more options. They're not that expensive. If you're in the same city and you're going between three fun and field, it's not always the same people on both of them. And so if you want more choice, getting on both apps does not have a lot of overlap. Let me tell you about the shit show that is modern dating. We're talking about Poofer. She told us once upon a time that she went out on a first date with a guy and he made all of these requests. I don't know if I really want to say what they are, but they were borderline offensive. Yes. And this is really, she was looking for somebody to be kind of a primary kind of partner. We're not talking about a hookup kind of mentality. And it was some sexually deviant kind of demand. Yeah. It almost hurt my heart to think that that's what she has to subject herself to. A smoke show like Poofer would have to deal with that kind of bull. We saw the guy. He went pretty enough to be acting like that. No, definitely not. Like if you're a one percenter on the apps, then I get it. Those guys after a while, if you're like Rusky, they're douchey, you could act like a douche. But almost the apps themselves, they actually cause a lot of guys who are mid at best to actually emulate the behavior of some of those one percent Instagram models. It's true. It's really true. Their behavior actually gets worse. And the things that they say, the things that they do to the girls on the apps, it's mind boggling. I cannot believe that somebody like her has to deal with that kind of bull. Which is why she's only dating couples at this time, because she's like, I'm done with it. I've taken my profile down. I don't want to expose myself to that anymore. And so I want to go over some of the differences between three fun and field in a nutshell. The things I like about three fun overfield are you get to see who you pass on. You know, when you next someone, if you next someone in field, you're never going to see them again. They're gone. Yeah, I wonder what the impetus for that is. And sometimes you have swipe fatigue and you next them by accident too late. You'll never see them again. Yeah. Kat's got fingers of fury and she's swiping so fast. She's going to get carpal finger tunnel syndrome. Carpal finger tunnel syndrome. I love that. But that's a stupid feature that you can never go back. Whereas on three fun, you've done some of the swiping before. He's like, Oh, can I go back and see that one? Yes. Here we go. I go, and there's a past tab. You can go see everybody you've passed on. Now field, if you pay for the app, then you can go back one. One. So if you're like, Oh, who was that? It's got this little go back, but only one, which is kind of good enough. And I don't know why. Is it because it takes too much space to save all your past people? I'm not sure the impetus for field doing that, but it's definitely something people complain about. How about the fact that both of the apps feel so endless, so vast? When you start, then you run out of runway. But if you have selective preferences like Kat, for example, no firefighters and porn stars. Oh, no, I'm stuck. That bro come help me. That are under the age of 30. In certain locales, you will run out of runway. That's why we're going to have to get on tender and see if we can withstand their fury against couples and see if we can not get banned. Yeah, we'll be like a little sleeper cell. We'll do it some kind of low key way. Because I feel like that's probably where my guys are. I think the Karens of the world. I want to talk to your manager. The whole monitors that are reporting couples. I don't think the guys are going to be reporting. That's not a guy thing. Guys, we have kind of a bro code where snitches get stitches. There's an old Italian saying, you fuck up once you lose two teeth. And you're like, who cares that a couple is kind of posing as a single female. Girls can occasionally. There's a vocal minority that can be a little squeaky. And part of the reason why three fun, I think is less intentioned is the way you set up your profile. It doesn't ask you for anything. It gives you just a blank canvas, right? A little profile, but it doesn't even have like select interests. Select your preferences. Whereas on field, it gives you the blank canvas, but you're required to kind of select different preferences. Like, are you looking for MFM couples, singles, intimacy? And it's these little bubbles and everybody chooses some. I think we found that when it comes to a profile, it hasn't really mattered all that much, whether the person puts a lot or a little. You can actually put too much. If you're a talker, if I have to scroll so far down, especially as a single guy, that might be too much for me. If you have to scroll through the written manifestation of a verbal diarrhea of text, I'm going to next year because I don't know. This doesn't seem like somebody that's going to be very sexy. It might not be good. Beg of energy. They might be much rather a guy who writes one sentence. How you doing? I've raged in Cajun had nothing on his profile, except he had the little bubbles of what he was looking for, couples, singles. And that was enough for us to give him a chance. Yeah. So pay closer attention to your preferences and what you write in your profile. Every fund has no preferences. So if you choose to leave your profile empty, which most people say things like, just checking this out, like that might be their whole profile, you know nothing about what they look like. It'll look a little more like a desert. And also in field, you are required to show your sexuality, bisexual, straight, heteroflexible, gyno, sexual, pansexual, gyno, sexual, scolio, sexual. There's everything on there. I don't know what they mean. I just know they're sexual. I'm just too dumb for all that stuff. Three Fun doesn't require you to do that. So we might have a guy on there and I don't even know where his preferences lay. Who? Just in general, three fun. I don't know if you're straight, heteroflexible, bisexual. I don't know what it is you're looking for. I think it just reinforces that the most important part of your profile is those going to be your photo. And the first photo matters to women. Most of us are not going to give a second look at number two, three, four. It's too exhausting to go through four photos. You've got one chance. You've probably got one millisecond to catch their attention. And another photo that catches cat's eye is a torso. The best thing you can do is cut off your head, especially if your head is your weakest asset. You've got a really nice torso. I will actually swipe right on people with a good torso. We'll start a dialogue with a guy that might have a face made for radio. Leo laughs at me every time I met and I always tell you, I showed up with a bag on my head. Yes, you did. Doing a pose down. I was all greased up like a pig. Gosh, it was your smile that won me over. You know, it was cute, faciers. I didn't even see that you had a good looking body when I met you. So there that happened on night one. Yeah, it happened on night one. I know that that's pretty magical. It was magical. Our whole life's been magical. Yeah, we had sparks flying. I'm going to go back to the topic at hand. So Field is making a lot of updates. They're continually changing. It used to be you couldn't zoom in on photos at all. Most people hate whenever an app updates. The first thing they do is they squeal like a pig. Field recently changed it to where I don't know the formatting is different. So your photos are actually smaller and you're like, you know, we're looking at it on a phone. I could barely see the person's face. So the cheat code is get a burner iPad so you can actually see these face photos up closer. And if you're creating a profile, create some of your pictures where your face is pretty up close, not always a full body photo. And here you are smiling. You're like, I can't even frickin see you in that photo. Not everybody's going to like this bit of advice, but the honest truth of the matter is, is that when somebody sends you a timed photo, get another phone and take a photo of the other phone so you can maybe then have a little bit more time to focus. We had some friends of ours actually tell us, this is not the first time, that they told us that, yeah, we might have actually snapped some photos on some of your time. We timed photo all of our stuff as well. So we know we're giving you advice to do the same for us, but I don't think it's cool if you're a guy, you should never send a timed photo. You want to get in the bedroom with me. I feel like you better just lay it all out there. If you're a single guy, you need to put yourself out there for rejection way, way more. You know, that speaks to one of the things that we encounter with single guys. Big, big turnoff for us is what is when universally you go to ask them for more photos because everything they have on their profile is going to be their most curated self. And it's also to make sure there's no cat fishing going on. Let's say you think it's a little bit too good to be true. There's one in Vegas. Actually, he showed like six photos of himself in a yellow speedo. Really attractive. He was all greased up, looking like a model. Apparently they were like model photos. You're like, fine, maybe you've got model photos. We wrote him. Do you have another photo? And he actually said, I've gained a little bit of weight. I'm not. He wanted to preface it to say, I haven't been in the gym for a little while and he sent this photo. He sent a photo neck down naked. Oh my God, he was not the same person whatsoever. And then you said to just shit test him, send me a face photo because all his model shots had the face and he actually disconnected from the chat. He was such a catfish. Yeah, he literally was showing like chat, should be to AI generated photos. And then the first thing he does is he walks it back to say, oh, well, I don't quite look as fit as that photo. And then he's going to show up and you're going to think, I don't think it's the same person. You ask for a face pic. I don't care if all six photos have a face pic. You ask for a candid selfie because if they're going to send a candid selfie, a, you know, they're not catfishing. You see them a different photo and invariably you're going to find either you're attracted to that extra photo or you're not. I'm going to go one further. And at least for us, nine times out of 10, the extra photos end up blowing them out. It ends up just killing it. Yeah. It's that one extra photo that you realized. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Cause it's that, it's that normal angle that you're going to be seeing in the bedroom. That's what you're going to get in real life. You got to ask for an extra photo or two a hundred percent of the time. And you know, for us, we do reciprocate because we don't show face photos on our account. All of our photos, our heads are cropped out or we've got emoji heads. And so we do reciprocate if we like what we see. And so one of our pet peeves, especially as a pertain to just a single guys is again, in that vein of you need to put yourself out there for rejection more is if we request an extra couple of photo actually is the first thing I ask. Hey, how's it going? I don't even get into a banter with them because I need to see if I'm attracted to you. Let's not waste our time. I say, got another Facebook and they give one of three responses. What are they? Number one. Sure. Here you go. Okay. Ding, ding, ding. Green flag. You first. Ah, that's a damn red flag. Major red flag. It sounds like you're trying to make us enter your frame, but the bottom line is you have the power of the big. That's almost an automatic next unless I'm really attracted to them. I give them a second chance by saying, no, you first guys always first. I think almost universally when we've encountered that guy, they end up blowing themselves out. I don't think we ever actually made it into the bedroom with one of them. And then number three is the guy that said, I have enough photos on my profile. I shouldn't have to send more. That's an automatic next. Again, that's somebody who's saying those curated photos are my best. And I know that if I take another photo, I know I'm going to be blown out. Well, this one yellow speedoed guy who's here in Vegas, who would not send a face photo, he was one of those total next. But imagine how offensive it is that you have a girl who's saying, I'm going to invite you into my bedroom and I'm going to let you put it in. When it's like in a hookup mentality, whether you're a couple looking for a threesome partner or you're a single female who's looking to hook up with a guy. And this guy is borderline telling you that I don't want to send you another face photo because I feel like you're going to steal my soul. And what he intends to do with you, it's really just shock it. It's massively offensive. To me, it tells you a total low IQ guy. The ones who are total green flags, they just do it without hesitation. You know, I worried about this with Rusky, Vlad the Impaler. His pictures were so attractive. They were showing his face. They showed his body. We didn't really need to see more. And I was so worried that as soon as I said, um, got another face pic, I was afraid he'd be douchey and he would do one of the red. He was going to blow himself out. I did. I actually had my fingers crossed. Oh my God. I hope I didn't just mess it up, but we have to ask. And he, to his credit, he just sent us a smiling photo, very candid and not till a couple of messages later, did he say, and do you mind sharing a couple of you? And that's the other thing is not to be too pushy. This notion of, well, can I see some of you first or you two, you share? It's as if you're qualifying us. And again, some of the best ones haven't even asked for our face photos yet because we've got like a side profile of us. You can see us well enough. I think that you should ask before you meet up, but I think you should do it slowly. And some of them are going so far as to be respectful of us that they don't ask at all. All then, after the banter has gone on back and forth, I'll say, hey, have I shown you any face photos of us yet? And some of them will say, oh, I was just about to ask, please, I'd love it if you would share. That is the response right there. Nice. Another thing that I like about Three Fun Better, even though it just doesn't have the critical mass or the intentionality, is when you're in the chat messenger bubble, it shows sent and it shows seen if you've paid for it. So I know whether my message has been sent and I know when it's been read. It's like a read receipts and feel does not have that at all, even if you pay for it. And it just leaves your messages out there hanging. How about the idea that you can actually see how many miles away the person is from your location? That's always a good bit of detective work to make sure that it's not a catfish. If you're in Eastern Europe, right? And it shows 5,000 miles away right the second. I'm like, where are you located? And if they say I'm in Vegas, I'm like, no, you're not. Then it's a waste of your time. So if they have a good alibi that they're going to be in town shortly, but we've actually encountered people who said they're going to be in town. And then they never change that mileage. And you're like, unless you're looking for a virtual buddy, this is not the place. Yeah, I think if they show 5,000 miles away, you should just next them and keep on keeping on. Keep on trucking. When we first got on the apps after a long hiatus of doing things in person instead, because we did, we jumped on early and then we jumped off just as quickly because it was overwhelming looking for single males. We were kind of in that MFM bent. This is before we discovered the beauty of the unicorn. And Leo was just like, this is too much. And I don't know what the difference was. Maybe I had more of a single female profile and not as many photos. It must have. Together because it did feel like people were talking more unilaterally to you. Yeah. Now they're so respectful. I felt like the back door was wide open and I had people coming in and dealing, not your back door, my back door. Scary. You know, I'm going to be closing that thing. Shut the back door. But when we finally got back on the apps, I think we felt like it was a boon. Suddenly we were able to find just what we were looking for. But it has been an overabundance of choice and there is still the paralysis. I know that we are making less decisions. We are finding less choices because we're being too discerning that we would be in a club. Yes. As your selectivity goes on, when you're a newbie in your journey, every step of the way, you tend to pull the drawbridge up behind you because you don't really know what your standards are when you first start out in the lifestyle. You're just like strange genitalia, strange hands. That'll do. That's sexy. And then you do things that you'd say, you know what? Yeah, I probably wouldn't go back to the power exchange. Yeah, maybe the green door isn't all that in a bag of chips. And in doing so, when you start out on the apps the same way, over time, you become more selective, your standards, your preferences. Although our experience at the Power Exchange in San Francisco, Sex Club, is still one of my most favorite memories, putting on a show to like a dozen guys and getting a standing ovation. You are porn star. I know, right? I still like that to this day. And we thought, is that a thing that when you are an exhibitionist, that people will clap at the end? It definitely won't be a couple. It turns out it's not. Because couples aren't voyors. But yeah, single guys can be great voyors. So I still egg Leo on sometimes when we're up in San Francisco. Let's go back to the power stage. First complete MFM that was born out of one of the worst clubs. And today, because of those standards and preferences and pulling up the drawbridge, he wouldn't have made the cut to that. No, he wouldn't have made the cut. He definitely wouldn't have made the cut on the apps. And I'm not sure he'd even make the cut in person. It was a very affable guy and he was a handsome guy. But just there's some other things that I don't think he wouldn't have made the cut today. And so I think that now that we've had some time to spend on the apps, I'm not sure that I call them a boon, as we once did when we first got back on, because now we've seen a lot and you start to run out of good options. You do. And then you're like, well, I guess I need to travel because you reach the end. There's nothing like when you're on field and three fun and you swipe and it doesn't swipe anymore. And it says there's no good matches. And you're like, oh, my God, I just reached the end of the runway. You've reached the end. I feel like it's the earth is flat and I'm looking over the edge and I'm like, oh, my God, it's over. It's terrible. And so in a way, the dating apps are just another tool to meeting people. And you should also get out there, get out there in person. If you're meeting other couples, there's nothing like going to the swing clubs. Travel, travel around. Do events. If you want to go on Reddit, I suppose you can meet somebody on Reddit. Find hotel takeovers. Go on the Cassities and SLSs if for no other reason than to see what events are going on in your area. That's how we found out about some of the hotel takeovers we've been to in person. There really nothing is better to find someone in person because they are intentioned. They're there to play. They're groomed. They smell nice. They're the ones you could play with. How in the hell did we meet sexy airline stewardess on Reddit? What the segment? I know. I must have been on there for five minutes before she this user has deleted their account. I did try the whole Vegas R for R on a burner account. And I probably have 120 guys. Yeah, I'm in. I'm in. I asked for pictures of every one of them. And that's what you posting with no pictures whatsoever. And not one of them was going to work for us. And I was trying to have a bit of a sliding scale because I'm in an MFM drought. And I thought, well, I'll try. It is not good. And so maybe you find a diamond in the rough, but probably not. Everybody always says, well, you know, the Reddit universe is wonderful for its discourse, for its community. Not so much meeting people. Don't find people on Reddit. I promise you, it's just not going to be good. Another cool thing about three fun, basically, field should steal all the cool features of three fun and then field would be amazing. But one of the cool features is if you pay for it, you can set your location to anywhere. I can say I'm from Timbuktu and it'll show me roaming Timbuktu. Whereas field is geolocated. And if you don't want to be geolocated, there's only select preset cities that you can choose. But we've said before that you can do a geolocation spoofing with a service called. You do I any go ten or share, but it's still complicated. And that does have an extra expense. I don't think it's complicated. It's actually takes you maybe five, ten minutes to get it set up. And I think it's like 15 bucks a month. And so maybe you do it for a month, especially if you're super private and you live in a small hometown and you don't want to be geolocated and said a small hometown. Yeah. And it also allows you to establish a beach head in a place that you're going to be going to in like two or three weeks so you can make contacts ahead of time. And it's really true. It's such a boon who wants to land on a Friday. I'm in this new city. Let me find a hookup partner. You know, you might need a few days runway, even though with that said, single guys generally are right here right now. You think I could have got fireman that day. Yes. And then because it was two weeks out, it wasn't going to work. The guys are terrible. Girls are fantastic. Girls love to pencil you in like two months. Yeah, it's fantastic. Organized. It's amazing. Can I find a guy that has really great bedroom energy who's willing to pencil me in? Is that such a thing? We haven't found it yet. No, we are going to find a man. The idea that the girls will actually write it down on a calendar and it could be three weeks out. And then when it comes time, they show up when they say they're going to show up. Multiple, multiple of our unicorn friends. Who do we have recently that they said, was it Sandra Dee? Sandra Dee booked us two months out. I'll meet you in Vegas. And I think she said that she was worried that maybe we might cancel at the last minute. We would if you were a single male, but we're a couple. And so you have the female counterpart and I'm the one that sticks stuff on the calendar. We're one of those couples that if we say we're going to be there, we're going to be there. The flight attendant, we made a date months in advance. Let's go to the Halloween ball together. And it's set in stone, she's got a costume. We're going to be a little sexy trio with all matching outfits. And we set that up in the middle of the summer for October, because I think that we feel like we have enough safeguards in place that by the time you get to the point where we're going to meet up, we've done pretty good vetting due diligence. And I think that our due diligence, it really starts with, let's get some more pictures now when it comes to single guess, Don't ask them for any photos because you can't do that. They are the unicorns for a reason. They have the power of the power of the golden ticket P. The color like the Willy Wonka P. Yeah, you can suck them and suck them and suck them. And I'll never get any smaller. Hey, she's got two. I want another one. You and I are below them on the scale. And then of course, single guys are below that. The Oompa Loopa Pussy. Oompa Loompa Doop-a-dee-da. Yes, the golden ticket P. And yeah, there's a whole different set of rules for single guys. You basically give them all the run up. On eggshells with them because they could be skittish and anything you say as a couple could scare them off. Turn like a unicorn in the meadow. They're very skittish. They deal with a lot of bullshit on the apps. But once you do find success with unicorns, it begets more success. You have your unicorn friends say, I want to introduce you to my other single lady friends. We had that with Sandra Dee. We did. She said, I want you to meet my unicorn friend. I think you'd like her. I think they know that you'll take care of another unicorn. Yeah, they probably just sense that energy from you. And it's funny because the lifestyle itself, we do navigate the dating app scene with a certain kind of character that I think we just naturally have, which is we try to be nice. We try to be kind. Although we do ghost. We do ghost. If I don't like your photo, I'm really just not going to respond. But in a way, that's actually us doing the kinder reply. What am I going to say? I'm afraid this isn't going to be a match. You guys could say it all day. I'd rather have that like to a couple to couple. I wouldn't want to hear that. You know, when we say that the apps are primarily attraction based, at least for us, we're talking about your face. We don't need a dick pic. The body picture is probably secondary. Some people, that is their thing. Some people are probably more body pic oriented. Yes, they equate fit with attractive. I think for us, we feel like, what is your face look like? I want to know what your face looks like. I want to picture what that face is going to look like between my legs. And if I don't like what I envision, that's not true. I'm going to have to next it. And that could be for a girl or a guy. I know, but isn't his face going to be buried between your thighs anyway, Kat? He's going to look up at me and it better be cute. It's going to be a jump scare. Might be nightmare fuel. Yeah, I'm not ready for a dark room yet. I need to see what I'm playing with. Yeah, I'm not down with the dark room either. I don't think we've ever met. I mean, we've only been in the dark room twice. We only played once and it was just you kissing another girl. I will never know to this day. You've never seen the first time in my dark room. If you're out there, OK, your name is Jennifer and you're from Arizona and you were in Feta, Morgana. And you said two years ago. Another girl after you kissed her, you have really soft lips. You also told this couple that you should go to desire. We just came back for the first time. I envision you as the sexiest, hottest girl ever known to man. And I don't know anything about you. I think in a way, what you just said is actually an interesting metaphor for the dating apps is in some ways, the less you know about the person, the more your imagination fills in all the blanks and nothing is more powerful than your imagination. You're going to make them the hottest guy, the most beautiful girl. And it turns out that nine times out of ten, it's never quite going to live up to your imagination. Because your imagination is tawdry. Your imagination is hot. And your mind does you such a disservice because you want it to be a great one. You want it to be sexy. But that's why you have to go against the grain of your instinct. And you've got to ask for more pictures to verify. My advice to you, if you're looking for play partners, get on as many apps as possible because there's not always a lot of overlap. So get on field, get on three fun, definitely pay for them at least for a month. I would not limit myself to just one app. We've done a review of Field. We've done a review of Cassidy and episodes 57, episode 60. Yeah, you'll find a lot of good information there if you want a more in depth review of those. Three Fun is a little pricier for Field. Monthly, it's 30 bucks a month. But if you go three months, it's a deal of 40 bucks for those three months. I highly advise paying. Don't be a cheap kid like us, although we pay for it. You know, we're really ridiculous. We honestly should have paid for like the whole year, like for Cassidy, for instance. We keep going month to month because we keep telling ourselves we're going to quit that particular app. And we never do. But I think for three fun, only in rare instances have we found that three funds been more fruitful than Field. It just seems like Field is more active. People are on the app. People are intentioned is what I would say is the real big difference between three fun and Field. I have a ton of conversations in three fun that look like they're going somewhere. But to be honest, I'm not even sure if we've met with more than one person in play from three fun. And it is worth saying that Field, three fun, they do skew younger. I think that if you're a more mature lifestyler, apps like Cassidy, apps like SDC, the dumpster fire, SLS. The dumpster fire, SLS. But if that's what's popular in your area, unfortunately, you have to go with where the critical mass is as crappy as those two are. But those might be better suited for you if you're more mature swing. And there are more and more E&M people, young couples coming on, mostly looking for a unicorn, but some are looking for a couple play and they're on the apps like Field and three fun. But I'm not going to lie. Cassidy for us has sometimes just felt like a desert wasteland. It's a slog. Sometimes it just feels, there's no activity going on. I just want constantly shouldn't there be some flirts and some emails and some backstage passes? Like why is there nothing going on? A lot of couples on there, they do act like the OMCs. They're not as intentioned. Old married couples. It's such a middle school dance. I don't know if people are just so tentative. They're so afraid of rejection. Or so busy with their real life that they're not really serious about finding a play partner. I used to say that flirts are a waste of time. Instead, you want to write an email to somebody, send them a backstage pass. Yeah, we do like a flirt back and forth and you're like, let's just talk. But we've done that. But we've done that. And people have been so unintentioned that today I've gone back to flirts. It's to me, the most low effort way to reach out to a couple. We're almost going to match them, their energy. If you're not very intentioned as a couple, then we're not going to be very intentioned. But three fun and field, people are much more hookup-able. The chat bubbles just kind of blow up. If you're looking for a threesome partner, go on three fun and field. Give those a try. And I do think that cheat code for Cassidy is go on the recent validations. The validations from this week. It's on like the left sidebar. Click on it. And you will find an interesting thing as you scroll through an endless number of people that are validating each other. It shows you recency. Who are the people that are most on the prowl right then? And you were the sluts. Boo, you whore. That's a great way of putting it. You have six validations in the last week. Damn. If you're looking for a single female, you're looking for a unicorn, find out who is bed hopping that week. Because they're in play. They are intentioned, and they are looking to hook up. They are looking for play partners. So field wins for serious use. But I would not discount three fun because it still does not have a lot of overlap. And honestly, if you're looking for play partners, don't limit yourself to one app. Try a bunch of them at least for a full month. Yeah, you have to cast your net wide in the lifestyle in general, whether it be events. Clubs. Clubs, dating apps, traveling to different cities. That's really the way that you're going to maximize your lifestyle experience at the end of the day. And get more affable. It's a social swinging environment, and you need to learn how to socially swing. And if you're a couple and you caught the last helicopter out of NAMM, go and hug your wife and tell them what a smoke show she is. I'm not going to say anything because I don't like that. Because you are damn lucky that you were not in the dumpster fire shit show of modern dating today. We've got a victory march to calling it a broken heart. So if you liked what you heard, go ahead and either subscribe or I didn't know how that works. I know. Just come and listen. We might post once a week. We might post a couple times a month. I don't know. We might get bored and stop doing it. So you better come and listen while it's still going. Otherwise, we'll lose interest. Tell us how much you like it. Yeah. That kind of thing. Leave a comment. That'd be cool. We love it. Where can they leave a comment? I don't know. Maybe we'll have some comments. We don't have a website yet. OK.