Our Jeans Are High & Tactical | Your Mom's House Ep. 840

Welcome to your mom's house. No, the fart mic. What are you doing? It's on your thing. Do you got a fart? Come on, dude. Be a team player. What are you fucking doing? Look at how you're doing this. What are you doing? You gotta do it. If you're gonna do it, do it right. Wow, it's been so long and you finally are back. I'm so happy I had that on my vest. Yeah, me too. Perfect timing. It's important. Welcome to your mom's house. You got a little sneak peek what happens behind the scenes before we record. It should be no surprise to anybody that we're shifting the focus of not only this show, but everything that comes out of this studio into preparedness, safety, knowing how to navigate any situation, anything could happen at any time. So as always, you know, if you stay ready, you don't have to get ready. If you're prepared, you're not paranoid. If you're just always considering that anything could happen at any moment, at any situation, you really are gonna move through life in a much more calm and settled state. Whoa, double flashlights. Look how fast that was. That was really quick. Boom. And that's a really good point is that you don't want to be like a lay person who goes, you know, oh, should I say no law enforcement, you go overhead, right? You can move and then boom, you can just put your weapon right over you. It's the way to walk me through that though. So why is this like an inferior way? It's just because it's like, yeah, you're not in control. You're a newbie up here is I'm in control of the light source. I control the sources coming from above. You can see you can scan. You have more ability to move right out with this hand, right? But this guy gets in the way. I don't know what I'm looking at. Yeah. And also you're going to be doing eight to 10 seconds scans. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10. That's a long time. Not long enough in my opinion. But yeah, that's how you scan. I would say from to five yards out and then you reset and you go further, maybe 20 yards out and you do another 10 seconds scan. And that's for any room you walk into or anytime you leave a building, a home, a residence, a store, an airport, you step outside, you want to do those two scans. Well, I did that scan. I parked here near the studio and then even though it's just in front of the front door, I stopped, I scanned, I scanned, I scanned and then I walked up. You don't know if there's a bunch of clowns hanging around that aren't normally there. A lot of clowns. Yeah. This may be right. You don't know where they're coming from. It's definitely something to be thinking about. So as you can see, we have a bunch of suggestions of equipment that every listener and viewer of this podcast should buy immediately. For the holidays, definitely. Yeah, I would give this to probably everybody in your family and certainly the friends you care about. But it's just basically a way to navigate life. You realize how many of us, myself included, we're just going through life willing to, oh, everything's fine. There's never a danger anywhere. Yeah. And then you walk outside, fucking clown car pulls up and now you're in a situation. And now you're aware. You may have to drive away from a gas station with the pump still in your gas tank. Yeah, which is fine. And you know what? Which is fine because then you can also live on one of these. It's an MRE. I got 365 of these times two. I've stocked your trunk and my trunk full of these. So God forbid you need to pull over. There's a tornado. You're getting away from clowns. It's a meal ready to eat. And that's pizza, which I'm sure is fantastic. Oh, it's delicious. That is a fantastic piece of pizza. The Department of Defense makes those. Yes. We used our connections to get a couple hundred of them. Of course. But I would say, you know, imagine you're out. You're going, oh, I'm just going, I'm just going to the movies. And then a situation that you're not expecting takes place. Yeah. You leave the movies, you know, clown started rioting. And then now all the restaurants are closed. All the windows have been bashed out of every grocery store, restaurant. All the water has been stolen. The clowns take water. So then what happens? Well, now you're like, I don't have any food. Like what, how am I going to eat for the next year? MREs. That's the thing about MREs. Not only are they flavorful, calorically dense. Yes. This one right here, the pizza slice, you're talking 5000 calories. 5000? At least. Wow. I eat one of these a day and also it backs you up. You don't have to stop what you're doing to make a bowel movement. That's why I love these so much. One thing nobody actually brought up in any of this is trench foot, which is something that happens when you have too much moisture in your boots. Yep. And your socks get all wet and then all of a sudden, you know, you got a real situation. So we'll put some links into our description for socks that we believe are higher quality and of course how to resolve trench foot once it's taken over. That's such a good point, Tom. Not enough people discuss that. You know, especially because we are in Texas climate, it is moist, it is humidity and such. You should be prepared for any climate at any time. Let's say you're walking down the highway. Let's say you're starting in Dallas and you're like, I'm going to walk to Houston today. Yep. You don't think your feet could use a sock change? No kidding. Yeah. Also, I've been training our children to drive. Our four-year-old son, Julian, could drive already. Yeah. I don't trust these AI robot cars, okay? They're trying to rob you of your own license, your own agency. Yep. That's why I only do gas-powered cars and I teach our children how to drive in case they need to get to safety. We're going to cover it all today, but it's an episode about safety and preparedness and I think it's the right way to go into the new year. Absolutely. Safe and secure. I got my trauma shears. Hell yeah. Let's go. Let's get into this. Let's get safe. So, you're out on town with your friends and you're going into a new environment. Once again, you're going to perform the 10-second rule. You're going to go into the new environment, scan, see for the best spot to sit and the best exits, alternative exits. So, let's go inside and see what we have. Hell yeah, dude. Think about the exits. Yeah, bro. You know what that theme song needs? Yep. What's it need? A saxophone. Yeah. Yeah. It's smooth. Look at that. Wow. That is some smooth sax. That is really great. It was it was like hotter. Why are we smiling? Why are we having it like this is a serious fucking topic? When you walk into a restaurant Any restaurant ever yeah, you scan the room you look for exits yep You need to know where people are what's happening in that room? Don't think about what you're gonna eat your friend that's joining you for a meal Oh, I hope this is a good place to eat fuck that it's safety fucking first of course So when I did my scan I noticed I have a fire extinguisher over here fire extinguisher is great for an improvised weapon if you need something And it's also helpful if you need to put out a fire So I know where it is I could access it quickly and then it's also close to an exit So if I need to exit I have an exit here and then exit down the end of the hall What level of anxiety do you think he enters every day with? Don't think he wakes up and he's like is somebody in the home like that's the first thought Is there someone in the bathroom? I have to pee I just woke up Check the shower open the closets look under the bed and then 30 minutes later. He's like oh yeah after pee Also, I didn't realize you could use a fire extinguisher as an improvised weapon. Oh, yeah, I knew that That's what I usually think of when I see fire extinguishers. I'm like great I can pass someone's fucking head with that if I need to Some clown walks in here and talk shit to me. I'm gonna smash his fucking face and oh My god He's I'm surprised he leaves the house without his tactical vest I don't understand how and I cannot believe that he doesn't like non-stop talk about concealed carry permits I cannot believe but he's in Arizona. I mean still it's just like I cannot believe he's not talking about ankle holsters Like you know, I mean like carry six magazines on you at all times like it to me it would be I'm like when is that coming? When are we talking about? Now once I'm outside I have to make a decision is it safer to go to the parking lot and go to my car Or is it safer to go to another area? It really depends on scenario if there's a fire or a situation I'm not gonna want to go through it. I'm gonna look for an alternative exit, which is that way. Okay? To me this restaurant gives me a lot of options. It's safe. It's secure It's monitored and I have options to get in and out of so good job This is a great place to come with your family and friends. You will be safe Well, there's a fire on your left. You want to go to the right? That's what I learned first of all That was such a great observation on your part. I Have often thought it. What if I leave a place and there's a fire over there. Do I go towards it? Or do I go the other way? But he laid it out clear for me. Now, you know, this is why you need shit like this Also, if we can't get him can we get his videographer because he's bringing this motherfucker everywhere You know what I do like about his attire here's nothing I want to pockets on the pants You need a lot of pockets. What if there's a fire to your right, but there's six clowns to your left Oh, no Then which way where you go because those are both very dangerous very dangerous. God damn. I might take the fire You want to be in a clown fight or do you want to be? engulfed in flames I Think he's he'd rather take the flames. I think he's a pretty clowns big. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's Well, also too. I like that safety dictates just every decision he makes. He's like you're done eating your tacos Is there a fire on here? Is there a tornado or a hurricane or are the clowns around that will dictate What I do next as a human where my day goes one of the things I'm having trouble grasping is how much of your Thoughts and energy is going into preparedness because I feel like I Feel like you're walking in and you're like I'm scanning the room. Where are the exits? Is there a fire extinguisher? Are there people coming in? What is day? What is potentially dangerous here? Yeah, you eat and then you're like I'm going back into the fucking combat zone Like are you just on a high alert 24-7? I think that's kind of how he lives right? He's in a combat zone all the time. He stay fucking ready This guy in his mind. He's in the Helman province in Afghanistan. There's Taliban everywhere Now this is illegal in a lot of states, but I highly recommend getting some brass knuckles. Yep, you know Yep, one of these right here. Yeah, keep it on you at all times lie to law enforcement if they ask you if you have them yep, and You're having trouble dealing with that here is It's like a paper. It's like that. It's the thickness of a credit card But it's actually it folds and then it's a it's a blade. That's brilliant Brilliant and I highly recommend every listener to get one of these that that one in your back pocket You keep it in your wallet just like you would a card and then it's like pretend you're a bad guy ready. Yep, okay You know over here, man hold on I I'm gonna kill you I'm gonna kill you in the face one second. Hey You'd better fight me now. I'm gonna get you. I'm a clown Coming to clown on you. 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That's Shopify comm slash mom's house Here you're first This new year with Shopify on your side Here I am There you go. There you go. Perfect. I Don't fuck around. Wow That was awesome That was awesome. Just shit like that. You know, that's a good It's good to carry your wallet the thing is though Tim as we've learned wearing these vests the key is accessibility You got to get to that. Well, that's why these these the tactical vests fantastic Also, I'll say this comforting kind of feels like like a hug like a thunder shirt. Yeah Like for animals. Yeah, they get scared when they get scared. It feels nice It is does feel snug and then you don't have to have oh where is it in my bag? You just have it all accessible, you know, you know what this reminds me of to oh, there you go. Get it flash it Very nice, huh? Yeah, you know what I would do too is put my passport here Yeah, my neck all my identification everything I need for the day here, right? Great idea, so I don't have to phone you board a flight with one of these. I think you can I think you should yeah, and then you should try Hold on. I need my trauma. Sheers trauma. Sheers are a mandatory And yeah, I mean just cut your food up with this, you know, the Asians like to cut food with scissors. Yep It's just easier. It is easier. I could cut your steak Sean who I travel with he was the one that first brought up Trauma sheers now. I feel like his are better because his fold. Yeah, he got better ones yours are not very good. These are not good Here's Sean. Yeah So safety check today. We're about to make our drive to the next city You always want to make sure that all your friends are in the car. So you always want them to sound off Tom here Kirk check There we go. We're a bus. All right We'll make sure you have your knife with you. Yep, just case you run into some trouble And of course Trauma sheers. Yeah, he's safe out there. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. Stay safe Yeah, but can I say what I didn't like there is that he didn't have good technique with the switch blade exactly and you got a Practice and then these right here practice. Well, I'm not an expert in these But this is the kind that you can you know, you can really get you have to get you have to practice, right? But yeah, I'm not I feel like I'm gonna hurt myself if I do that. It's like West Side Story. It's like the the Jets Yes, the Puerto Rican the greasers in the yeah, they were good with those. Yeah, you gotta watch the Spicks in the mix Yep West Side Story. That's a great one. Yep This right here is I don't even know what this is. Oh It has it has a blade and then this here which can break a window if you get stuck in a car, you know my god I want to win those. Yeah It's really oh and then this here so you can you can again a carabiner. Yeah, what that's called You can put that on your bike or you're right here. Add this to the vest. Yeah, which is really smart and keep Keep everything, you know, yeah. Oh, wow again easy to get to easy Yeah, right there anytime I need it. I just yeah pretend you're a bad guy. Get over here you There you go There you go, Tom. Yeah, yeah, I got caught in an elevator once and I wish I would have had these tools Yeah, I don't know how to close this. Can you put the MRE on your body? Because I do feel like I'm hungry a lot Oh, yeah, of course you can and I want to walk around with snacks. Yeah, that's great, man Let's see I'm a shetty there our guy. He has some more stuff out there for us Hey everybody Just like we use the Cooper color code and the Oda loop to help scan our environment and make safer decisions Mm-hmm The bad guy is always watching as well the bad guy is looking at the way you walk the way you dress the way you talk and I contact so if you walk around with purpose head up scanning your environment, you're not a prime tarry Bad guys use something called the hostile planning cycle I go into the hostile planning cycle in great detail in my book situational awareness and safe family travel strategies Link in my bio and go to the prepared University. There you get your copy of my book. Be well. He's safe. He's not wrong No, and by the way, see how that's like a blousey oversized shirt Fantastic for keeping weapons on your waistband without them being like notable. You can strap them around your stomach Yeah, yeah, that's a really good note He didn't mention it there, but it's something I've observed. Yeah family safety We got to get our kids tactical vest to also why get a pen that you can only write with Or this one also has see on the other side. This is like a weapon. Mm-hmm again You could break a window you could pop someone in the face with it stabby stabby. Yeah Waiter mouth thought mouth off at you. Oh, yeah, you know let him have it fuck up Yeah, and I see you got your mace there, too. Yeah, of course you always want to carry this with you defense spray Again, this is another great Christmas idea. Oh, are you kidding me if I got that in my stocking? I know you cared about me as a lady. Yeah, you want me to be safe. Mm-hmm. Yeah Yeah, there's just there's so many things. Let's see here. We got here we go Hey, everybody Larry here from prepared not paranoid. I want you guys to take a look at this video of a bunch of clowns in Virginia Oh Mm-hmm, so as you can see this whole thing was caught on videotape. I believe that was Halloween. Yeah, right? I don't think they just showed up and I don't know it felt like Halloween July dress like that. Maybe I mean they yeah, right? Clearly cameras are not a deterrent They're great to record what's happening and a camera could help give you some time to implement your safety plan But a camera is not gonna stop a bad guy from doing bad stuff Yeah, so you want to make your home a hard target and get into habits to protect you and your family Over the course of the next couple of weeks. We're gonna be covering things to make your home a hard target You know what then because the cameras I agree they're kind of useless well those guys were all masked up so Yeah, maybe you clowns of Virginia. Yeah Maybe if you could have something that just automatically sprayed bullets when somebody came to your front porch Ding dong spray bullets right away. There you go, and then ask questions later ask questions later Yeah, we were watching that Documentary last night the perfect neighbor. Did you guys watch that? Oh my god? No? So sad things so what was the plot so it's it's really well done it's mostly body cam footage from police officers and Who have basically they they they got called over and over and over to the same residents by this old white lady, right? I did see this one. Yeah, I saw yes. It was very sad. It's very sad, but very well done very well done It's very well done. Yeah, it's um, but she did exactly that it was knocking on her door and she's just spray shot through the door Yeah, she's like I think I felt scared And they're like how long did that take between knocking and this happened she was like oh Ten minutes 20 and they're like actually we have the call log. It was less than two minutes She's like felt like longer. Yeah, and then I heard her switch her tone at first. She was like oh so scared I didn't know what happened and then this motherfucker came rolling up to my house. Yeah, like she is Cookie yeah, Cocoa Puffs. Yeah, she did I don't know I didn't I haven't finished. I haven't finished it yet either But it was it was really it's a really well done documentary It sucks because I really liked the neighborhood that those kids lived in it seemed like a really yeah everyone's having fun Everyone was having a good Existence yeah in this neighborhood except for one person this fucking clown who just ruined it for everybody She really did yeah, I hate her so much kids who once on the cops there like what's going on? She's like kids are out there and they're like screaming and running around They're like like playing like in the field and they're like she's like yeah, so distracting They're like yeah, you live smooth somewhere where there are kids. It's a whole neighbor and it's like an ideal neighborhood for kids It's all kids all kids playing playing yeah, I mean I wish our neighborhood was more like that. Yeah, you know Oh, it was so sad Oh, so sad it was really sad what could they have done to prevent that though because she wasn't doing anything illegal necessarily No, she'd rammed her truck into That fence yeah, and they didn't like well you can tell a few things I think about her watching this one I do think psychologically this is like a hyper Anxious person internally, you know like you can tell that there's Psychologically that I think her panic stuff is probably there's some root cause of that. Yeah that she is Is somebody who actually just doesn't do well with I don't think she does probably it's not the first time she's had neighbors I bet you if you went back in time, yeah, she would have issues Oh, yeah years and years and oh yeah, you know she worked from home She can't work in an office. No one wants to be around you can't be around this person This is true because I've had yeah, this is how my mom was like no matter where she was she would find enemies This is that's a personality. This is the trait You often find though in True textbook psychopaths because they want to engage and Provoke and win it's always about like getting one up on somebody. Yeah, and there's always an enemy There's always a perceived enemy a battle to be fought and yeah Yeah, and it's every little thing becomes that battle, you know the things in my yard the noise over here Yeah, my mom was like they're always like and you're just trying to like Provoke and win that battle and then you move to the next battle, but never it's like satisfied. No, and yeah, they're all interchangeable enemies, yeah, there's people that are fucking with me. I believe True anti-social personality disorder with this one Gosh, at the least God it sucks. They got one point they go, do you Use the n-word and she was like no like ever. She's like, I mean it may have slipped out He goes in what context did it slip out? They were there or something and they talk so then it slipped out Slip out and she called the kids retards. Yeah, which is really funny to hear the kids be like she called us retards Those were such good kids by the way. I know they were such good kids. I know it kid just crushes me Yeah, it was a very sad thing, but it's a it's a fascinating documentary But you know again safety first the holidays are here, which means it's getting colder days are getting shorter And you're probably getting busier whether you're inside prepping to host everyone and their mom or you're out shopping for them Getting good sleep is the key to staying healthy this holiday season Don't forget to gift yourself a great night's rest with a new Helix we sleep on a helix mattress and what I love is that it really Adheres to whatever it is your needs are unlike any other mattress if you're a side sleeper They got the side sleeper mattress from night sweats to back pain to motion transfer say goodbye to the sleep issues That keep you up at night Helix's sleep quiz will take your personal needs and preferences into consideration To match you with the perfect mattress They even deliver right to your door with free shipping in the US and you can rest easy knowing you're backed by seamless returns and exchanges with the happy with helix guarantee Go to helix sleep comm slash ymh for 20% off site white That's helix sleep comm slash ymh for 20% off site white make sure you enter our show name into the post purchase Survey so they know we sent you helix sleep comm slash ymh This time of year can be challenging to stay on budget between all the traveling gift giving and entertaining Don't make the mistake of losing sight of your finances so much that you have to choose Which family members you love enough to risk your rent money for if you want to keep your Finances under control this holiday season you need to be using monarch rated wall street journals best budgeting app of 2025 monarch is the all-in-one personal finance tool that brings your entire Financial life together in one clean interface on your phone or laptop and right now just for our listeners Monarch is offering 50% off your first year that is a great deal to get your finances Under control finally have a place that helps you organize and stay on track with your financial goals I really believe that getting your finances under control is the key to getting your life under control Say goodbye to the guessing hiding in arguments. Let's start with I didn't know we spent that much Don't let financial opportunity slip through the cracks use the code Ymh at monarch comm in your browser for half off your first year That's 50% off your first year at monarch comm with the code Ymh So another thing you're gonna want to get our Tactical gloves, you know, oh, what are those for? Well, I've never seen those Let's say you're in a situation where you might need to get your hands dirty, you know, do you want them dirty? No, no, gosh, no or with chemicals on them. What if you get bomb chemicals on them? Yeah Like TSA, you know, and they they put on their gloves before they they look through your shampoo bottles That's right. You're not carrying nitroglycerin. I would go through the airport like this too. This is a good look for flying If you're a single guy and you're going out on a date, this is a perfect way to show up on a date I feel safe. You feel like it that you're ready for any and your date might be like, hey What's up with the vest? What's up with the gloves? Why do you have so much rope? Why do you have this improvised shovel and you go? Well, you know what? I don't know where this date's gonna go You make you believe make it a joke, but the thing is you don't know what that woman's like No, you don't know if you're gonna have to I don't know Bash her over the head with your brass knuckles and then dig a hole drag her body and bury it That's so true. He don't know things that happen if she's gonna provoke you or say something to humiliate you You gotta show her what's up. You do have to show people what's up You have to constantly remind people what's up and you have to be ready for them trying to show you what's up You know, it is a good way to go through life. It's a great way to go. I feel relaxed Yeah, I Feel just feel just as relaxed as Larry considering every possible shit Okay, everything. Can I tell you something? I think I was Larry before I started therapy Yeah, like 20 year old Christina kind of Larry kind of kind of close to Larry Yeah, I had a little PTSD from my childhood Check out these clowns I Feel like this is actually represents academia today, I can't imagine it's like to teach in Portland Oh, yeah, this definitely has Portland vibes all over. That's no Texas vibes Well, I mean, you know, what do you do? How hard is it just to call someone by their right pronouns? Change every day just gotta fucking ask God, I mean, I don't see the big deal I don't see the big like he's he is this guy's he is being Is he's being kind of a dick kind of a knock away? Yeah, he is he's It's it's putting on a show for everything, but it's I mean he's look what he's doing. He's like So is he their actual professor Do you know that does anyone know it looks like it says he's a political candidate father in a long-running cat custody battle Over their twins. Okay, born a boy. Oh, so one of his children is a Boy now identifying as Luna Jeff opposes medical transition while his ex-wife supports it She moved to California where trans refuge laws protect the child was ultimately awarded full custody He was speaking against gender affirming treatments at the unit at the University of North, Texas Yes, oh my gosh, I take that back. I'm just shocked. Yeah, then he purposely did this Yeah, he's just being a jerk face. Yeah, I mean, how do you but how do you argue with this? You're like, I'm a boy. No, you're not. I'm a boy. No, you're not like the arguments kind of yeah Yeah, of course, I'd be like, yeah, whatever whatever you want Wouldn't want to shut up into a debate about that. Well, no because like also you're not even looking at where the exits are If you're sure you're definitely not safe on this one. No, but also like I wouldn't even want to be talking to those kids You know, I like I'd want to be getting out of there as soon as possible. I'm like, okay, whatever you say Yeah, he also him him trying to give this his point of view to these students. It's like why what do you think's gonna happen here, man? I don't know seems like a really fucking Stupid waste of time. Have you noticed to the they-them's are always that that shape The very blobular they're all they all that's the that's the prototype of the they them the squishy Blobby body, right? Yeah, it's like a thing I've known one they them why I actually very much like the barista No, oh, yeah. Well, yeah, we'll say that for the sake of they're on sabbatical now from their job Okay, but they were thin and like Fit, you know, that's very rare. I usually see of this the shape They them yeah squishy squishy kind of the doughy So you go I'm gonna they them and this was like, you're not squishy enough Yeah, yeah, cuz I oh well I get but I guess that fits in with they them you want to be ambiguous Yeah, it's kind of ambiguous. Yeah, you're like are you and that's what they want. Are you I'm nothing. I'm they them Yeah, don't try to put me in a category. Yeah Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. No, it does make sense. Yeah. Yeah, let people be what yeah I just let them let them in who cares. How does that affect you? Let's talk about important stuff I'm tired of all this damn talking and texting nigga eat this ass. Yeah Talk to this asshole. Yeah, that's what you can do the fuck She's over the talking and texting I feel like you guys would get along really well I think I would go real well. Yeah. Oh my god. Are we my soulmates? Let's stop all this fucking banter. Well, what guy is not putting out. Isn't that what all they dream about is a girl like that I can get to it man. Yeah, I know but what guy is delaying the buddying? I feel like that's all you guys want to do I'll tell you who commented on it Fancy chef Haha Y'all say this y'all all say y'all say that he writes wash it fire and then red flags and I emojis. Yeah Yeah He's just saying you should wash it wash your ass first and then I'll come over and eat that ass. I need that ass. Yeah. Yeah Pretty cool, right? That is cool. Yeah She's pretty I feel like her but I don't think she looks smelly. I think she's probably no I don't think she looks smelly at all. Yeah, she looks she looks like a nice lady. Yeah. Yeah She's this is but this is I think this is specific to someone, you know So one scene as like as broadcast as like a general thing But she's commenting because she's tired of one person. There's there's one guy I was like and then what up. She's like what the fuck just come eat this ass. I need my butthole. Yeah Talk to this asshole, man. Yeah, somebody's dilly-dallying around with her. Yeah, toy with her emotions Yeah, she's like what are you fucking doing, man? God, I never felt it that way before I can't imagine the frustration of it You're just you just want a guy to come over and eat your butt and and this guy keeps toying with your feelings It's just crazy, right? Just get over here. Do you know the great? Can I pee first? I'm distracted sure Let me go with I know I'm gonna get a lot of shit about this But thankfully Tanner came in and showed me that I held it wrong. Oh like this. I had it the other way I didn't even know you also said you don't want to strike someone you want to drag down on them. Is that right? Yep. Okay, so thanks for that tip also Know that on the side of this You know shovel that collapses you have like a straight edge here and you have like a saw on this side Wow, so if someone's being real chatty. Yeah multi-purpose. I like that. Yeah That's really good for a tourniquet, you know if there's like a bleeding serious wound Mm-hmm that could happen right after dinner. Mm-hmm. Keep that on you Of course, we have a machete This is something you can keep in your trunk or on your person You know something you just you could you can strap this to your belt loop And you just have a machete on you at all times. I Could have used that when when I fell down the stairs. Oh, that would have been great I wish you would have come down in your tactical vest. Yeah all these tools on there Well, I could have I could have just taken your foot off That's what I had to deal with the rehab the rehab. Yeah, it was quite a quite a pain in the ass. Yeah, that's great Yeah, I know you like literature and you studied philosophy and you know like some of these older writers were you a fan of James Joyce so boring net you so one or I tried reading it, but I'm familiar with it with it Yeah, I don't know if you're familiar with this. Okay. Here you go. Yeah I'm gonna read you a letter James Joyce the Irish writer wrote to his then mistress Yeah, girlfriend or partner Nora my sweet little Horish Nora I'm delighted to see that you do like being fucked ass ways Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards at every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue come bursting out through your lips And if I gave you a bigger stronger fuck dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside You had an ass full of farts that night darling and I fucked them out of you big fat fellows long windy ones quick little merry cracks I Think I would know Nora's far anywhere I think I could pick hers out in a room full of farting women It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in a school dormitory at night Oh good night my little farting Nora my dirty little fuck bird. I love this dirtier dirtier. I love this Jim No, this is bro. This is literature now. I would have gotten into James Joyce the book was like that This was the book same Dubliners is fucking boring Yes This I could read all day. Why aren't you writing me letters? Well? I remember I remember the like 40 years ago when I met you Bukowski, yeah Bukowski and then the story of the eye by George Bataille That's right both of those is a very vulgar too about Orifices and shoving eyeballs into my asshole and yeah jizz and calm and dead Story of the eye story of the eye George Bataille and and Bukowski to filthy filthy wonderful This is good. I like this. I like it too. Yeah, I like James Joyce. I didn't realize I was a fan That was pretty cool. He's really into butt-sexing. I did like farts. Yeah, I know my dirty little fuck bird That's right. Yeah, why don't you call me your dirty little fuck bird? I mean we can add it dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside Mm-hmm. Yeah, cuz you imagine just being appreciated this much I just I love that he has he has to take pen to paper because he's Oh you stop about this chicks farts and her farts. Yeah Fart while he while they're fucking yeah, that's also pretty gnarly well that he recalls it Every thrust another fart came out of you long windy ones and yeah, he was really into it I really like this guy. There you go. Yeah, Irish. Well, somebody should release the James Joyce letters as a book That'll be a bestseller. We'll pump it I'll pump it for sure cuz I've read like what is it Albert Einstein's letters boring not a lot of these guys boring Let's see some fun stuff. Check out these clowns I know you don't want to speak to me after what I said, but you know I've been doing some thinking and we can work things out Maybe I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry You know, I've been doing some thinking too You're the best thing in my world Yeah I like that they didn't hold for the odd you like for the plane flying overhead a lot of times on set If you have a plane or a helicopter you hold hold for sound you say hold for sound and they were just like just Keep her. It's okay. That's okay. I love you. I Love you, baby, you still my man. I love you. That was kind of beautiful. That was so beautiful any what you think Man, I'm fucking I'm tired of coming here I'm just I'm getting tired more tired every day I don't have thoughts Did you dissociate during that or something probably yeah something like that? Yeah, I don't know it kind of looks like niggas I know You know these two Dear what's that guy's name on the left? I don't know I don't want to know They're fucking chat, but you know, it's nice his earring matches his nipple ring. That is fucking hot. I mean cool That's cool And also they're having sex on the hard stairs Yeah, they are so into each other that they have to do it on the concrete stairs They can't even do it on the cushion where the guy was incredible. That's so hot right any don't you think that's romantic? Man, would the right any fucking Like Twitter will hear All the abuse I've been put through this is an acceptable if only we had HR They would be getting a call You know, I didn't realize and I'm not into gay male porn. I think I might be into black gay male porn Oh, wow, I might be into this because it's so different. It's so foreign to me I never see men black men expressing love this way. Yeah, you know, I just read this letter that Chupac wrote to Madonna Yeah, let me eat you. Yeah, he was so tender and sensitive You know what's so funny he wrote on the letter he goes, you know as a black man It's not acceptable for me to show love to an older white woman. That's what he said I was like you fucking dick. Yeah Older how much older could she have been back then in the 90s, you know 35 and he's 25 Yeah, an older white woman. Maybe goddamn dude. You just fucking ruin this whole fantasy for me I'm imagining he's writing me to let it really because you're an older white woman. I'm an older white lady Yeah, to pop. I mean that would have been that would have been such. Oh, he was so pretty. Yeah, he's a good looking guy Yeah, I'm so arty and stuff. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so you have that fantasy the to talk fantasy that he would write me a letter from jail Yeah, cuz he wrote Madonna a letter from jail Yeah, say explaining like why their relationship didn't work out. Yeah, a lot of it was societal He's like, look, I don't know. I don't know how I treat an older white lady basically Yeah, and I'm a thug and I'm you know, I'm no good. Yeah, I'm no good So I'm sorry and I'm sorry But if you want to come visit me in jail come visit me in this and that but you know, it's interesting Is that he called her Madonna in the letter and I'm like, is that like that's her real name. Oh for real. Yeah, I sure yeah Madonna, I just thought maybe remember that it'll be weird to call somebody by their stage name. Yeah, I think that is her real I think that's Madonna Chacone. We look up. Yeah, isn't it? My what's her Britain? Yeah, oh Madonna. Wow. That's wild to name your kid that Madonna, Madonna Louise Chacone Go on Madonna. Mm-hmm. Madonna. I mean, that's basically naming your kid the Virgin Mary. Yeah, basically the Virgin Mary Yeah, I wonder she's like has this complex. Yeah, like she's a star. Yeah, we name a kid that God damn dude people today too if you're in your 20s or even 30s You do not understand how famous this woman was. No, like the peak of her fame was like It was you I mean It was it was everywhere like you could not Get away from the presence of Madonna's impact in in that time like the 80s late 80s I would say is like the peak. Oh my god, maybe like 80s into the early 90s, right? Oh, she's huge for But that era was like really dominant I know and I just rewatch desperately seeking Susan while I had AIDS the last two weeks or so and She's so charismatic. Yeah, she really captured the the generation and she was this was at a time too where you know You turn MTV was was the internet? Yeah So every time you turn on MTV you were joining like 50 million people watching it and it was a lot of times It was just Madonna crazy. She dominated that channel. Oh, yeah, and I wanted to be her that this was Every girl did that's who I wanted to be right there. Yeah far right corner. Yeah top row Madonna She's so rat. I still want to be her. Look at that. All right. We're getting sidetracked. We just Madonna talk Madonna and to pop we got to get back to fucking preparedness and safety So he's putting me into a scenario I can't get out he's doing the tough guy thing his arms are out I'm using the top back part of my head And this is a hard area you can slam this pretty hard Punches just chase him even if he's pinning you This might be the only tool that you have and then you use the wall to bounce back off Pretty cool Pretty cool. I like that. He's demoing his head on a helmet. Yeah, this guy has banged that thing a lot of times Yeah, yeah, yeah comment ready to start trading now ready ready ready I'm ready to bro. I'm fucking ready. I Love this shit man. I love it too. You got to bounce off the wall That's tough to do when a guy is coming at canteen. Yeah, dude. This should be on you all times, too Well, yeah for seven. Oh, yeah water. That's I should have mentioned this first It should always be on you. You don't have water for 72 hours. You die, bro. Yep food is one thing How long can you go starvation months months, but water? Yeah No, not long not a joke. You should think about it. You should really think about it We think about it every day every minute every hour every week every time think about threats times think about Being able to see in darkness. Yeah, think about improvised weapons, you know tripod, right? keys bottle of booze What anything around you could you can make a weapon and then think about water a lot too Yeah, make that into a bomb if you wanted a hundred percent. I'm on top cocktail. Yeah, here we go. Let's um, let's see some funny stuff Which is having did you just break his ankle? Yeah That was so fast bro He's because it was his weight that broke his ankle. Yeah, it was yeah. Yeah, he's so drunk and he's really drunk I'm right there. That's good. Holy shit. Yeah, cuz I gotta say when I broke my ankle I didn't know was broken at first either. I wanted to get up. You don't know you don't always know So that's crazy that he stepped on it again. Yeah, he's shit Ah, man, it's terrible Tom. That was terrible That was great that was if you're listening It's a it's a looks like it's like a pro level Cycling race and after a turn a guy crashed and then a whole bunch of bikes crashed into him and then you can hear People screaming tour de France You have to imagine that this happens a lot in the bicycling in the cycling world I would think it happens fairly often. Yeah, look you've trained for this like I you should be looking for this again If they were right after a blind turn, I know that's a great point Well, they should have turned the corner and then you didn't scan scan obvious when you went into it just too fast 100% yeah, good point Damn dude, all right, it's always I keep what example Oh Yeah, yeah, he went to grab that I guess there's like an electrical wire in there Yeah, and then you got electric good. You should have someone else touch things for you Tom Especially the celebrity like you're very important. Yep. You shouldn't be touching anything until you have Someone an assistant do it for you. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah Yeah, one of those he would have been okay. You're seeing so many Reasons why Larry's on point. Yeah a lot of things that happened here wouldn't happen if they had bought Larry's book Absolutely. Yep. Absolutely grabbing an electrical wire I mean come on without rubber gloves. What do you out of your mind? He's stupid. Yep. You lost consciousness for a brief moment this guy I Mean who would even expect that that would be electric though. Would you even in a million years think that That's shocked the hell like he literally there was no reason to think no No Yeah, I would have grabbed them. Why would they electrify plastic grapes anyway? I don't have no idea So silly here. Yeah, I have no idea just one of you know nature's safety hazards. It's an it's always everywhere Yeah, that's the thing. That's the thing. I'm trying to get to yeah, you know what you're better off doing just never leaving the house Of course, that's that's preferred and make it a hard target. Yeah, so that people don't try to break in But then you don't have to worry about any shit happening because you're just home. Yeah, that's what I try to do Yeah, minimize risk at all times at all times Timings off I could have told you that already Yeah, he jumped way too late he jumped way too late that they didn't do him a lot of favors on the speed of the truck worse Do you know you could have gone five miles and I think that that's Holy shit Oh That was crazy. He didn't anticipate the motion he jumped after the truck was already passed out Yeah, he didn't I mean we've all done this you gotta one jump now jump now Come on guys This full hasn't seen the A team you haven't watched fucking MacGyver growing up you'd landed on his tailbone He sucks. He's so fucked. What is wrong with you, dude? The timing. Oh my god Yeah Fucking idiot. Yeah, you needed his ropes just would have that would help a lot tailbone cover Fucking dummy. Oh Jesus So ridiculous man so fucking crazy We are one week away from A teacher Coming out on Netflix. It's my new special it Premiers Christmas Eve December 24th on Netflix. Sorry. Yes Please put it in your queue put a reminder in call the fam watch it with the family and friends And I thank you very much very excited very excited. Can't wait to see it come out. It's so cute I'm very excited. So pretty should be very fun thing You know who has the right idea? Hmm, I can't believe that I just said it and now it's in my to my video bank here is About not you know, you're not gonna be in danger if you stay home. Yeah My name is Skip. I'm 49 years old and I'm starting something today that scares me a little on January 10th I'm locking myself into this room for an entire year great 365 days I won't leave. I'm going to live stream 24 7 I'm doing this because I'm tired of the being the version of myself that avoids hard things Hmm I Want to get control back One goal is simple by the end of the year. I want to do one perfect pull-up The pull-up is the proof, but the real goal is rebuilding who I am from the ground up This is day minus 70. I'm starting the preparation now If you want to follow the in the process stick around I have a feeling The people that are in his life are not into this idea Like the people in the photo frames his children they're not like cool idea man You know, you don't have to lock yourself in a room for you to achieve your pull-up goals, right? I Mean this is but that's funny because that's the only goal that he lifts Yeah, to do one pull-up. Well, you can do that and leave the house. You can you can now you're gonna be in way more danger obviously but The the isolation for a year. I don't know if you'll leave a better person You know, there's a lot of studies about people who are in isolation that it doesn't usually go it was the best It's usually yeah, this is what psychologically broke this person, right? That's how they punish prisoners is solitary confinement. That's right So yeah, you you know, you want to create yourself in relation to others in relation to the world Being in the world safety first obviously Yeah, be very safe. Does he does he tell you what his other goals are besides right now? It's a pull-up. Yeah He he wants to break habits rebuild and I think this is this is his approach to doing it So his greatest fear is to not leave the house to face himself. Is that what it is? I think he feels stuck in life and he goes how do I get out of this rut? I'm gonna do something dramatic And stay inside I'm gonna stay in a room for a year Well, look you're definitely gonna have a nervous breakdown. Yeah, so he's right about that. It's gonna reset some things Yeah, he will definitely start to break down emotionally Very soon like remember that show alone that the nature show Yeah, that's always what broke those people was being in social isolation. Yeah, and diarrhea You usually get diarrhea you get both. Yes eating sea otters. Yeah on stop for seven months or so. Yeah But yeah, he'll start crying in a week. Oh, yeah You know cuz I used to want to do a silent retreat when I was in college and then I was like I think I would go crazy within like right. I mean really think about it. How long can you stay silent? I don't know, but I think this is gonna really go poorly for this guy. Can we live stream? I'd love to sign up. He doesn't he yeah, he starts next while he starts in like a month. Oh, yeah Let's let's keep track Yeah over the year. What is this breaking news? Mary Magdalene who is the model and Influencer that we base Tina off of has passed away. Oh, yeah, can you pull that up? Oh No 33 No, oh She was gorgeous and Says the surgery addicted social media star known as Mary Magdalene has been found dead in Thailand 33 year old whose real name was Denise Yvonne Jarvis Gangora died after falling from the ninth floor balcony of a high rise on Tuesday Daily news Daily Mail has reviewed information released by the police that verifies her identity and Individually confirmed the death with a source The Mexican Canadian model's body was discovered by hotel staff in the parking area. Oh damn Jeez shit that sucks, bro. Yeah. Yeah, that reminds me of Tina so much Yeah, she was huge influence on us. Yeah, she really She went wild with that Wow fucking a man Yeah, he might come out of his one year looking like that. You never know I hope so. Yeah, I don't think he'll last only he'll last either Plastic surgery cushions Went for it though. Look at her way how she was before all that. Yeah. Oh my god rest in peace. Yeah Yep Rest in peace Denise. No, that's fucking crazy You have some friends that are Single ladies. Yep. All the single ladies. Have you ever thought of Giving a suggestion That might help them not be single. Oh like what? Here's the advice or young single women who want to be married and feel as though they're being passed over Lose 20 to 30 pounds. Yeah Yeah, yeah Yeah I'm a young woman. I'm a Christian. I love the Lord. I'm not a boss babe and you might be thinking like why Why am I being passed over? Mm-hmm. Yeah, there could be a lot of reasons but one common one is Drop some LB's you could perhaps Need to maybe be intentional over the next three to six months. I love the soft language To strive to lose 20 to 30 pounds 20 to 30. Yeah I'm actually willing to be criticized publicly in order to tell women the truth So that they might live more God-pleasing satisfying Fulfilled lives. That's the opposite of misogyny. Yeah, that's actually women. It's actually loving women Yeah, he loves me. It's the same message. I will say it is really the same message That Kevin Samuels was spitting right in it but but but Kevin Samuels was direct direct and open about it And he's you know, he's doing his whole I'm just like a loving Christian guy. Yeah, yeah, I gotta tell you as Christians This is really a Soft way of getting in there. It's it's how you be an asshole in today's world People are so afraid of being assholes. So they have to go I sort of I kind of feel like a sort of a data That's just why I love 50 cent and this whole p. Diddy 50 cent Going on is that if it he's old school. He's like go fuck you fuck your mother and it's so respected Yeah, it's so respected because he's just it's just out. Yeah, this guy is still trying to be a nice guy I just still like me like yeah, it's like shut up. Shut up, bro Just just called chicks fat like people have been doing for forever. Yeah Everyone calls chicks. Well, that was that that was the great thing about Kevin that I always miss. Yeah Does he be like what do you weigh? How tall are you? What's your job? Kind of baggage you have. Yeah, how many kids? No, once you you ain't shit Yeah, was he married he's married. Yeah, so who's he taught who's he telling it to you tell him the young Christian women of America? This was only to Christians though. I'm gonna apply to you if I'm man this This trauma shares look great. I like the way they're resting up on your throat Thanks, I like to keep them right there. Yeah, just in case the reminder if you're ever gonna be like where are my trauma Shears, right? I feel them. I feel like touching my skin all the time. It's pretty cool. Thanks Yeah, but I mean this up by the way, this goes both ways you could make this message to young single men too to not be fat Yeah, lose 20 30 pounds. I know but the it's never that it's always just be richer be more successful Yeah, get your shit together The whole thing is like guys like look swimming like money, yeah, not the big I mean in a yeah, yes But I think it applies to both right if you're single and you're like what's going on? I don't know. Have you looked in the mirror? Yeah, have you thought about getting a facelift or a nose job? I know when it's so easy to be hot these days. Yeah, can just like pay for it. Everything's available No, just go get plastic surgery. Yeah, fuck man. I know now that I've done it like it's so awesome I want to do everything now do it go for it go to where Tina was That lady looked great. Yeah, I don't think the butt lifts look good like Madonna's butt doesn't look good You don't think so I don't think you can do like peck in like the peck the muscular implants Don't look real to me and they don't look good yet. Like I don't think that that looks crazy Yeah, those look insane. Yeah, she didn't need it God she's done so much to her. It's too much. You can't do too much. Yeah, why would you do that dude? I don't know dude. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe she's I look I don't have a big ass either But that's kind of what you know, you got to work with it The Lord gave you a framework is you know, she's petite. Yeah, you can't have a big ass. That's how it goes That is how it goes You just do more squats. Yeah She was in such good shape for so long really yeah, and then also if you get too crazy world famous Yeah, this kind of happens to you I think this happens to the women who get crazy crazy famous Yeah, because you want to stay forever young and forever relevant. Yeah As a young person and it's just not possible. It is possible. I think you can age Just do it. You just can't Do the same things you were doing when you're 60 70. Yeah, you gotta you got to change your style a little bit Yeah, you can't insist on being 20 because you're not it doesn't work right. It's so true. Yeah, just age It's okay to age. There's nothing wrong with aging. Yeah, just be 70 year old Madonna or ever. Oh We got some yeah, of course we have We got some young herk, you know herk junior. Of course. I know herk junior. Where is my guy? Where is he? There we go. Yeah, yeah fuck it There's the spirit of herk Name a serial number Name a serial number chief barista. Why she refused to hide yourself to me. Look at your fucking gray here You old fucking lady Look you're here old lady Chief barista why she refused to hide yourself to me why she have to leave the unit running And again He's always on the move, which was a real herk trait. Yeah, you're always in different cities, you know, yep Where is this? You know where this is? Hmm that might be Miami that was gonna say those colors. Yeah, that's an awesome dude Here we go. Yeah, that's Miami there What is your name a serial number? What is your name a serial number? Yeah Your serial number Division Brickle division know what division in the city of Miami These guys are always like is there something I have to say he always engages like really like usually like willing police officers Who are like do you have like an emergency? Like I'm sorry what because he comes in hot he comes in which is the trait of Meth you come in hot dude, what's your serial number? You don't lead with excuse me No fucking as soon as that window comes out name and serial number No hi, how are you sir? It's just straight into it I think it's interesting that you can take that the unit home and you can live County's over that's pretty interesting They should Right yeah, well he's just he was like us guys out of this Out of all the police we've seen that's the normal response Yeah, be having which is okay, buddy enough for this and sometimes they're like Why are you doing this? Why are you there's so I love when they're just like I'm just sitting in my car He's like yeah, you're fucking running the car wasting gas Like what? Yeah, but this is Miami where it's home of the Locos. Oh so many local 24-7 local local show for sure. He's just like oh, this is another fucking so crazy You should shave and don't support this business as businesses ties to Scientology Don't support this business right here Then look open. Yeah You don't have to worry about yeah, I think I think we did yeah good fucking a man He's doing his things stuff like that Shave your face. I thought his facial hair looked fine. I thought it looked good. Oh, he has a okay. Oh, yeah He's a Sigma Chi audits. Yeah real name is Keem James He is a political science major at UCLA what? Holy shit and the reason he harasses the Sigma Chi's he believes they are affiliated with the Illuminati Sure. Yeah, everybody knows that yeah I like that it says he is known amongst fraternities as the guy who harasses people Yep, that's pretty accurate Illuminati. I guess he want you know what it is He wants to be a part of their group and then they're not letting him in right? Yeah, he just wants to be a Sigma Chi everybody wants to be part of something and in there and then he's you know He's just not how to make friends. He doesn't he really doesn't Jealous jealous of all the fun there. Yeah Well, you know if you can't join a group, I would say just be prepared on how to handle them Just think of yeah every possible scenario Look left look right look left in the fire This other direction If you see a fire walk away from it wait shit like that. Yeah stuff like that smart. Here's some of your talks. Yes Yes Okay, that's um what? Thank you. Thanks for that. Well, if you're gonna put your stuff on Facebook marketplace, don't leave her on red. Yeah Reply dude, and this is just out there for people. Well. Yeah, do you know how to use Facebook marketplace? So then this could have been for you. Yeah, that is true. I'll save this one, but I'll watch it later Yeah, watch it later. Okay. Take notes. Thank you for following me on here, but I don't Want to have long conversations on chat rooms At the moment. Okay. Thank you. Bye. He doesn't want to have long conversations on chat rooms He doesn't want to why are you keep asking him? Oh my god, what? How are people gonna know he doesn't want to have the long conversations in the chat rooms unless he puts a video It's a good point. It's a good point Yet to say it more once or you think she heard that Last name venal for same's I love I love anal. Yeah I Tension shoppers I love anal. Can you please meet your party at the service desk? Can you please meet your party at the service desk? Thank you, I was wondering if you can call for my sister to meet me back up here real quick Last name is venal and their first name is I love I love anal. Yeah I Got a rubbing tug shirt on Yeah, that's great classic menace formula. Yes, it's just timeless. It's good fun every time It's always good. It's always and you should keep this up. Yeah forever And if you're a kid go to your local store and do this. This is good fun. It's good for everyone I Been pushing never give up on my stories I'm gonna hope you guys buy her CD because she's got CDs for sale for the holidays, too I Really nice you got it If you guys like to craft and you better hurry up because this is about to be flying off the shelves the forever Rolled by shaman 555 feet of shit paper. I mean this is never mind technology like AI Or evolving into the bidet. This is double and down like wipe until you're bubbly Kickstand and the Stadecats stainless steel. This is if you're a janitor you gotta get excited Teachers faculty room cuz they go through it Yeah 500 feet should only be making forever rolls. Yeah, why would you buy anything? Inferior to a forever roll because that's big toilet paper the the corporations Give you a little bit just a couple shit tickets and then you are out. I need more course. Yeah, keep you on the line That's right coming back. Yeah, they're like drug dealers. Yeah, they this is like a hidden thing No one knows about never heard about this until so this guy. Yeah, thanks for putting that out there, man Kate can you please come and open the gate? I Can't because I have a date. What do you mean you have a date? Kate Kate Kate Kate for you that you have a date. Don't forget to make him wait otherwise you want to appreciate go out and celebrate and also Have a debate because it's nice to have a debate on the date She does rhymes for any name any name she can do I was so surprised how upsetting that was to me I I Really bothered me what all of it. Oh come on. It's really bothered me She can do this for any name like I said Tom Tom. You're the wrong her expression bothers me, too Yeah, it's it's fun. No, it's just fun. Yeah, I had to change to my sweater because if you're getting cold ass fuck out here That's a good one. That's a nice quick one. She's amazing. She's always my right here. Yeah, I have for cereal like you have to be like Brssess with me My favorite Monday morning moon. Oh my god plenty to moan about Hashtag afraid to fart. Oh my god. Do you ever have a bad stomach? Oh I've got a really bad stomach today Yeah, we had a bit of a mix-up last night at dinner and we made potato salad and there were three varieties of Potato salad there's only three of us. I don't like raw onion like I do not like it Fucking hate raw onion. My whole body hates it. You'll read about it in the book why it's so bad Why it creates such a negative trigger in my body The book is called afraid to fart and the fine art of following through If you've ever been afraid to fart you need to read the book We now order that book So last night we made potato salad and we chopped up some onion for one of my friends really finely She likes it very fine and then we chopped up a rough bit of onion and I help because I quite like chopping things Because I'm still quite good at chopping things. Yeah when I know what I'm doing with the knife and the board and everything I've stopped chopping the ends off my fingers. I've got used to the blindness over the last couple of years. She's blind I do like her eyes though, I thought I think they're really cool defining feature on her face I find her face very interesting. I like watching her talk and yeah, I like her and I agree I'm a great chopper. I'm a triple Virgo. I think I've said that a few times What is that? It's you three Virgos God so this raw onion raw on two plates Put the potato salad on top of mixed it and I had my potatoes. Okay. That's um, thank you for that Jesus Christ, you don't want to hear the potato salad. It's a good story. It is a good story Well, she chopped it she can still chop okay, and they gave her the farts and then there's three different types of potato So I don't know if you caught I caught that and the one she had with the onions gave her gas And because she didn't know she was eating the one with onions is that what happened? I think so so finally chopped in I don't know you need a six-minute fucking video to get to that She's got to write a book about it too Oh So good You have to show that to the boys, of course fucking minds So there's like I don't know if this is true, but they're like in and out had to stop doing number 67 Yeah, kids were doing this stuff. Yeah, so fine So that guy had fun with it. That's nice. Yeah, I really am really thinking about the onion story Yeah, yeah, cuz I think you would have the same effect on you the onions don't onions affect your no not well Yeah, maybe yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I didn't even tell you that I solved the the fart mystery. Well, tell us this is a huge Why I mean yeah, this is crazy. What are you doing? Why did you bury the leaf? Wait until the end of the episode So I have been farting fucking wild right like so so so crazy It coincided with my following this meal plan which has me eating Just following these macros eating 200 grams of protein a day, which is not that crazy but you have to like stay on it, right and I was starting my day with yogurt which I used to do I haven't done in a while and Protein powder whey protein. Those are both dairy products. Oh, and I think I've always been Lactose intolerant Wow and not really realized it and then I remembered that that GI doc I talked to was like you should just take lactate before you have any dairy She's like that's what I recommend to people my I do it my family does it Started doing that and guess what what if arts just kind of went away. This is crazy Yeah, so you're just telling me you've been lactose intolerant this whole time. I think so. Yeah Yeah, she also said that 70% of the population is some level of lactose. Yeah, I know every time I eat yogurt I hate it feels bad. Yeah, every time I eat dairy to feel bad pretty crazy. I suppose to eat curdled cows milk Curdled Animal milk, it's really not. Yeah. Why the fuck are we doing that in the first place? Yeah, why are we drinking? cows so weird Dude, you know what actually just rips dude is like when you're vacuuming and you just hit that one spot dude Like you're just on the carpet. It just starts crackling dude like what what is that? It just smells good This is your sign of vanquish and vacuuming today, dude, it's Sunday. Let's get our castle ready Rockle dude. He's so right though. Yeah, everybody knows that feeling That shit does rip. Yeah And it just starts to pop you're like this is tight. Yeah, but the smell it's like that. It's like the yeah dusty smell Yes, it's so good. It's fucking so good. I felt this so are one of those things that I don't think I've ever heard someone articulate No, and as soon as they did you're like, yeah, that shit is dope Rips hard Rips vanquish some vacuuming you're going into the last week before Christmas. It's one of the most dangerous times of the year So I just want to leave everybody Knowing that you know the Amazon package thieves are out there Oh boy Pickpocketers are out there. There's basically clowns in every direction car break-ins. Yep Hide your shopping bags in your trunk lock it up and stay ready. Stay ready Of course, I didn't point out the travel first aid kit. You need that handcuffs all these things You can pretty much get away with if you get pulled over by the police Some of them might give you a hard time, but you know just ask for their name and serial number. You probably get out of it Mm-hmm. Yeah, but I just want everybody out there to just you know, remember stay vigilant Stay ready stay alert never relax And I think this is actually what I would call like a day one purchase if I was gonna say how do you stay prepared? This is what I would get day one and then I would just add to it You know, obviously we're gonna talk about night vision goggles coming up. We're gonna talk about Weapons explosives. I didn't see a compass in here either. How do you even know where north is and this is ridiculous There's a great point. Yeah, we didn't we didn't we didn't get everything we should have gotten which is you know, I blame the guys but There's a there's a lot of stuff that I think is is you know, if you want unless unless you just go Oh, I want to die today. Mm-hmm, you know, then don't get any of this stuff. But if you want to live I Would I would go in this direction. I would follow Larry prepared not paranoid and get his book and Hopefully we'll be talking to him soon about how to up our game about staying ready if he feels safe enough to talk to us Yeah, well, we'll be very secure the day he comes in here Extremely, I'll bring an extra security that day. Yeah But anyway Hopefully you're listening or watching in a safe environment. Maybe a panic room or something of that nature Lock yourself in a closet, but um, you know, stay prepared stay vigilant and Scan every room from left to right and avoid fires and that's that's kind of it for today But thank you for watching. Thank you for listening anything else. Stay safe. Stay safe. Stay safe. We'll see you next time. Good job All right, here we go Oh Oh my god That's how we do it Keep the cuddles and lose the mess with Advantage Chewable. Just one tasty tablet kills fleas and ticks for a whole month. No mess, no stress. Just one tasty chew. Advantage Chewable. Flee and tick protection made easy. 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