C03 - Ep. 22 - Brig of Endridge Bay - The Great Mistery

The Stinky Dragon vinyl is here! For the month of March, we're dropping the first ever Stinky Dragon vinyl album! This limited edition record happens to feature all of your favorite hits, like Step Into The Stinky Dragon, Introducing The Infanites, Sleek Symphony, and even the high octane, Smarsh Is Still King! It's the ultimate way to experience the saga of The Infanites and glorious analog. I'm so excited you get a physical piece of media, but don't wait, when it's gone, it's gone! Go order yours now at store.stinkydragonpod.com. Grab yours before the music stops! Indeed presents. Highers, you can't afford to get wrong, like payroll manager. Hi, um, I was just checking my pay slip and it's all in Japanese yen. Yes, you're welcome. Sorry? Given the exchange rate between the pound and the yen, you're technically a millionaire now. Don't spend it all in one place! I can't really spend it anywhere. This is a job for sponsored jobs! This is what happens when you don't sponsor your job on Indeed. So the next time you need someone to get the job done right, get matched with quality candidates with an Indeed-sponsored job. Visit Indeed.com slash NextHire and sponsor your job today. What happens when two people who grew up in a very strange corner of Los Angeles look back and realize just how bizarre their upbringings really were? They start a podcast, of course. I'm Ashley Johnson. And I'm Taliesin Jaffe. Before we became the internet people we are today, we spent our childhoods as working actors, appearing in shows like Growing Pains and films like Mr. Mom. In our podcast Weird Kids, we're diving deep into our unique upbringings, our friendship with each other, and all the delightfully odd interests we still carry with us today. In each episode we get to share stories of our youth, the things that bring us joy, the problems that we face, and occasionally the friends we've collected along the way. If you're a misfit, an outcast, or just a weirdo who loves all things nostalgic and unconventional, come take a seat at our table. Each week we'll be releasing previously members-only episodes on YouTube and all major podcast platforms, with new episodes dropping exclusively and ad-free on Beacon.tv. Nice of you to drop by all you niads, nautically knock on the stinky dragon and quaff our latest cuppa. What are you thinking? It's a mixture of psychic touch tea leaves, flying elderflowers, invisible water, and topped with sunken treasure trinkets. One sip of this psychedelic sea sauce and you'll be thinking what I'm thinking. Previously our adventurers sailed the high saline seas aboard a borrowed ship, the Blindfold. They delved below deck, bumped into buccaneers in the brig, and perused the privateer's private quarters. After dipping into desperately needed downtime and dropping jaws at the Jebediah, the party perceived another ship on the stormy seas, ironclad's Deirdrost. Now the two ships are tethered and being swallowed by the sea, napsomecter, and nestle in for a noxious scenario. I was thinking narrative too. Hello everyone, welcome to Tales from the Sticky Dragon. I'm your dungeon master, Gustavo Sarola, and I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. What game show, real or made up, would your character love to be on, and how well do you think they do? And that's submitted by the Silent Taco. That's the deadliest taco of all. Everyone's got a role initiative. Hey, 13. 13. Chris, that was the saddest two I've ever heard. Give it another read. Give it another read. Come on. Two's aren't happy. With two 13s. I rolled a net one on a roll off barb so go before me. Okay, what if I also roll a one? Do it. Do it. I rolled a seven. I thought it was a one because it was a one. So it's going to be Doug, Natty, Toll, Gunther. Okay. Well, hello everyone. Welcome to another episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I'm your co-host, Barbara Dunkelman. Hello, we are now. I've upgraded myself. And I play Doug Boone, the male bugbear artifice, or who's currently at a level five. And, you know, Doug, I think could participate on a number of game shows, but, you know, one of Doug's strong suits is his brain. So, you know, he's not very blonny, even though he looks kind of strong, but more strong in the mental capacity. And so I think, I think if Doug was to participate in a game show of sorts, he would choose to participate in Netflix's Devil's Plan. Oh, that's a good one. You're talking my language. I don't know what this is. You never watched Devil's Plan? Devil's Plan is so good. No. It's a reality show on Netflix that's like all about being really smart and like figuring out these games and like puzzles and all that stuff. It's very good. It's like physical 100 if it was about using your brains. Yeah. Oh. It's very good. I just canceled my Netflix subscription. So I'm not going to watch it. It does sound like we're promoting that. Well, we're not because I just said I can't, I can't use it. Well, you should rejoin. So you watch Devil's Plan. No, I'm not. I'm tired of paying that money. So Doug, I mean, Devil's Plan is a South Korean like game show. Can Doug hit me up with his best Korean phrase here? This can't end well. Yeah. Doug's going to say this in Korean and then all the audience is going to hear it translated. Into English. Oh, wow. That's how you mean that must be an invention. Hello Gustavo Shola. My name is Doug Boone. Wow. Star Trek rules. That's a really cool invention. Can I see that, Doug? This translator you have. Wow. This is amazing. You made this yourself? It's immediate. Yeah. Wow. I'm probably speaking Korean. I'm going to speak Korean in the entire episode. You guys just won't even know it. Wow. Contrugated everything perfectly too. This is amazing. Your honorifics are on point. Thanks, Doug. That's a great answer. I was not expecting that. Okay. My turn. Hi, John Reisinger here. I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow warlock and a mother of one. That's her subclass. So I love me some game shows. I got plenty of times that I can remember sitting down with my mamas and we watched all the game shows, especially on the days. Now, this isn't my one that I want to be on. Never mind. This is going to be the one I want to be on. I just changed my answer because I just thought it wasn't even better than what I was going to say. So the one that I love the most was the one that I got to catch on the days where I was too sick to go to school. So I got to stay home and I've always dreamed of being on the press is right. I was going to say, I know what you're going to say. Based on staying home is 11 a.m. every day. Yep. I just, I feel like I could do really well on that show. I feel like I'd be a good personality for them to have on there. And it just seemed like just a fun place to be. Everyone there is having a good time. Everyone there is excited when they call your name. Everyone's already clapping for you. It's just good vibes all around. Hey, Nanny, could I get a $1 Bob? You seem like you'd be perfectly suited for that game show, Natty. I would love to watch that. Yeah. I feel like you probably like, it almost feel like you've seen me in that show already. Like at least some of me. Yeah. Are you more of a Bob Barker or a Drew Kerry fan? I don't think I want to recognize that second name. I just want to go with the Bob. Drew Kerry. He was a huge sticky dragon fan before. I honestly have no idea if he's a good host or a bad host. It's just I'm a child of the 80s and 90s. So Bob is my guy. Bob's supremacy. You want to go with Bob Barker or smart supporter Drew Kerry? That's pretty cool. Thanks, Nanny. I'm liking these answers so far. No pressure on the second half of the team here. Toe, if you're up. Hello, it's me, Blaine, and I play Toe, you, the male orc barbarian. I'm level five. I guess I'm not an orc anymore. Yeah. Oh my God. I was a Thomitech. I guess I should start introducing myself appropriately now. The wig has been snatched as Nanny would say. Everyone knows my true identity. And, oh, you know, there are so many amazing game shows. You know, as Gustavo mentioned earlier, there's physical 100, which is great. But I think I would be the most proficient at American Gladiators. I've always dreamed of going, you know, under that lispy against laser and turbo and, you know, climbing the pyramid when, you know, in a mad dash against Malibu, you know, I think I would do great on that show. I would love to see that. I actually, okay. I genuinely would love to do American Gladiator. They brought it back briefly or a version of it with the walk. Is that like where you see the obstacle course with like swinging from the monkey bars and then like jumping and like hanging onto like a rope ladder and like doing all those things? Or is that something else? That's American Ninja Warrior. Ninja Warrior is what I'm thinking of. Yeah. American Gladiators like is same to kind of set up as like an arena, but all the games are all different. And then they would team you against like a genetic freak on steroids, which is pound these everyday Joes. Star-spangled banner, red, white and blue stripes. Amazing. It was a great show. I felt like, yeah, that you just like unlocked a core memory. I haven't thought about American Gladiators in a long time. Since we're in a safe space here in our arrow question, I want to make a confession here. This has nothing to do with your arrow question, but Blaine said something here about Tove that made me think about a mistake I made early in this campaign that no one picked up on. I don't remember what it was like episode two, maybe or three during an arrow. Blaine introduced himself as Tove and an orc. And I was like, you're not an orc. And I gave him grief about it. And I was like, oh, oh, and I was like, oh yeah, I looked at your character sheet. You're totally an orc. There's so many times where there was close calls like that. And I was like, really? This is why I don't like knowing too much ahead of time because I will blow it. I'm terrible at keeping secrets. I didn't know that you knew. I guess it has to be involved in your character sheet. Kind of like something about campaign two, which we won't reveal here just in case people haven't listened to it yet, but yeah, something involved in one of our characters. We've got an episode of second win where we're going to talk a lot more in depth about it and the secret and half and uphold it. So if you're a Patreon subscriber, you can you can hear that and hear all the close calls I've had trying to keep this a secret. And we're going to cover the New York Times bestseller book, The Secret as well. Yes. All right. Thanks, Blaine. Chris, aka Gunther, you're up. Anyongne Ilium Un Christameris. Oh, Gunther, the male Krokfolk fighter. How was that Gus? How was that Gus? Yeah. Is he a fighter, Gus? Is that Chris? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe it's pronounced fighter. I think you said Ilium. I think I believe it should be Ilium. Okay. Yeah. Well, I'm working on it. In the Korean alphabet, the character for R and L is the same. So sometimes it may, like if you're using an online translator, it may put it as the wrong one. Ah, anyway, I'm Gunther. Hello. I think I would, if I was able to play a game show, I think I would like to play in the mole. Oh, good one. I'm going to have to google that. I don't remember that at all. Yes. The mole was great. Great. The newer version I don't love as much as like the old version. I have fought many moles. I can always defeat them. They are easy to defeat. So if I was to come up against them, I would win every time. I see. You would. Yes, you would. Are we thinking of the same show? Are you thinking of the right show? I think it's a joke based on the fact that he would actually fight a real mole. I think you're right. I think you're right. Yeah. I don't know if you noticed this, but there's a long running gag that Chris keeps playing where Gunther doesn't understand the nuance of like hyperbole and metaphor and idioms and all that kind of stuff. Okay. Also, I think I'm very good at finding traitors. Gunther, get out of here. We're talking real stuff right now. Yeah. The mole is another great show. The original one was a network show. It was hosted by Anderson Cooper back in the day. It's been rebooted and I think there's two new seasons on Netflix, if I remember. Again, not a plug for Netflix. If you want to cancel it, go ahead. I don't care. They're not paying us. They got some good reality shows. If you want to check them out, the two most recent seasons are very different than the original ones. Everyone killed it with these answers today, guys. I'm super entertained with all of them. These are mainly because these are all game shows I like. So everyone give yourself a pat on the back. Yay. Wait, really quick. Gus, what would you want to be on? Oh, I didn't even think about answering for myself. I don't have an answer prepared. I think I would like to be, oh, I know what I'd be on the amazing race. Really? Are reality shows game shows now? Is that what it is? Well, there's a price at the end. There's a million dollars like you're competing. I'm not arguing it. I'm just coming to that realization that I guess that's like a genre of game shows now. I wouldn't even say now. I mean, the amazing race and survivor both started like in 2000, 2001, like just like 25 years at this point. But they called them reality shows. I guess maybe reality game show. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You see the seas beneath you begin slowly bubbling and swirling and very quickly they begin building an intensity and a massive swirling whirlpool emerges from amongst the waves. It begins pulling you in like a violet and vortex and swallowing both ships down into the never ending void below. A roaring torrent of wind, water and thunder swirl all around you like a Herculean drain. Both your ship and Ironclad ship are bound by ballistic chains caught in an unending vortex of stormy seas. Whilst being swallowed into the oblivion, Ironclad screams over the raging tempest. Capture my children. Feed the rest to Al Gore. Al Gore? The presidential candidate? Al Gore, not Al Gore. Al Gore. Al Gore. Al Gore. He's just the internet. Did he not? Is there like there's got to be a different way to pronounce this that's not just you saying Al Gore. Former vice president Al Gore. Al Gore is very hungry. Feed the rest to Al Gore. I don't know. Feed the rest to Dick Cheney. I love that ghost. You tried to move past that name so much and we were like no. You just said the guy who invented the internet. Adam Ellis is going to do great when he reads it. It is a patron. It's a name from our Patreon. Al Gore. Al Gore is a patron. Dude, thanks man. Al Gore, Drew Carey, best friends. Yeah. The massive armored shark towing Ironclad ship surges through the stern of your ship. It's iron plated jaws chopped voraciously. The six trolling before you point their bone jaw javelins menacingly and charge. So they're not concerned about the fact that we're in a drain? They're following orders. No, I mean like anybody. Ironclad, his people like he's just like get my babies. I mean they're professionals. So maybe they're used to these conditions. Who knows? Okay. Yeah. Didn't Toll live at the bottom of the ocean for a while. Yeah. Like probably isn't true. They might have some advantages that we do not. All right. Seen some things. Are we in combat or are we at a point to make a choice? Why don't you roll initiative and then we can make a choice. Rolling initiative. That is dirty. What? 15. 8. Also 15. Jesus Barbara, get off my back. What's your what's your decks? My decks is 16. So you go first. Okay. I'm after my tea. Oh, Natty. Why do I want to say my tea again? You're so quick on the draw with that blade. He's just ready to just book me. I want a reboot of the pink panther with blame now. That's what I want. All right. They're charging Toll. You're up first in the initiative order. So you're going to be the one who makes a decision or figures out what are you all doing here? Okay. I say Ironclad. As much as I want to end your life today. I just need to like hold up the time out and say like, are you doing this whirlpool? Is this happening or is this you? Or is this like, is this just bad timing? Because we could, we could like put a pause on this, have a rain check and then do a rematch, you know, in not a whirlpool or I could kill you now in this very epic setting. It's your choice really. You say all this and I tell you what one make me a persuasion check and then I'm going to give you another check after that regardless of the outcome. I'm just letting you know now. Okay. Oh my God. I'm so persuasive. Seven. All right. And now make me a perception check. That's a 19. Okay. You make this plea to ironclad. It's not a plea. I'm not begging. It's just like a like a very formal request. So, you know, you make this cowardly formal request and you look over at the deck of the daredros and you see ironclad just laughing maniacally storm raging around him. See, we take the power away from him. It's it's God, I'm so good. God, you're laughing. I don't know how much of Blaine's turn did that take? I'll say none because it's roleplay decision making stuff. Okay. What did my perception reveal? Was it just that he was laughing his butt off? He doesn't seem like he's he swayed at all by your request. Okay. Well, I guess it's combat time. One more insult. If I may to to to listen. I haven't seen ironclad in so long. I have so many things that I want to tell him. I've been thinking about this moment while walking the bottom of the ocean. You know, so hey, ironclad, it looks like you do really downgraded on your military force. What are these little things? What are they called? Trolling trolling. Is it because it's like a pond because you like troll like like water? That's actually really good. That's pretty good. I'll give you that one. Okay, I rage. And then how far away am I from the nearest trolling? There's six of them total. The closest one we'll say is 15 feet away. Oh, okay. Let me make sure if my shield is active. It looks like it is. I'm gonna keep it active for now just in case these guys are super powerful, but I don't think they are. They're trolling. I'm gonna hit one of them with the Warhammer, that closest one. Okay. So you close the distance angrily swinging your Warhammer with one hand. That is a 16. That hits. Good. And then here's a bludgeoning for you. Wow, he's out way. That's a 12. That's one handed, by the way. Oh, yeah. You hit the trolling and it like it does that thing where like it spins him around and he's like dazed and bloodied and seems like he doesn't know which direction is which. I also have plus two from rage. So it's 14 technically. And then like a tree in the forest being felled by lumberjacks. He falls over on the ground onto his back. Oh, good thing I raged. That was cool. You see that one shot. Did you're trolling ironclad? I bet you wish you had a bunch of a Thaumatex. Dork. Dork. This is a family friendly podcast. Yeah, yeah. Watch your language. Whoa. Yeah. If you did chum like chum as in another fish pun. That's good. It's good. All right, then then I'm going to move on to my second attack and I'm going to hit the next nearest trolling. Okay. Going trolling for trolling. There you go. Oh my God, are you pooping on me right now? That was a one. I feel like that's worse than the expletive. Believe it or not, that is a miss. Unless someone had like an inspiration die. You know, it'd be a shame if I like failed critically in front of my old big bad guy. Yeah, but you did. Unless someone had to like, you know, like an inspiration, like a heroic inspiration, there wouldn't be a hero to told. I don't. Natty, Natty. I don't have one. I don't have one. I don't mean either. God's doing like, you know, just take the loss, you big baby. I'll tell you what, Blaine, since you asked so nicely, roll a D4. Low is bad, high is good. You sure you want to set this precedent? I didn't know we could do this. That's a one, but I think if you want to give me an inspiration die on my D4, it's funny. You've been talking so much trash about the trolling and your battle prowess against them that maybe you were distracted. And as you take your second swing, the war hammer flies out of your hands and gets swallowed by the war pool. It goes to the bottom of the sea. Daisy. Wait, you lost your war hammer. Should have used two hands. I guess I did. Yeah. It was slowing me down. I am glad now. I should have killed you with a shield. I would have to America your butt. All right. That's it for Toll. Yeah. So two of the trolling are going to close the distance around Toll. Actually, I tell you what, all the remaining trolling are going to gather up at this point. Yeah, sure. Why not? Who else is in initiative, by the way, with us? Like, is Elva in there? Is Lesgeal? That's a great question, Barb. In order to not slow down combat, why don't, if one of you wants to call on them during your turn, they can assist you in that turn. That way, we don't have to worry about rolling their initiative, taking time for all of that. Let's just try to streamline things a little bit. Gotcha. Elva, do you have an inspiration die? Do you want to like, you know? Two of the trolling's close around you, Tollf, and they begin trying to use their pointy spears to attack at you. Make me a, I'll give you the choice, either a strength or a dexterity check. Oh, I'm going to have to go with which one is higher. Strength. I, they're the same, but I feel like I should rely on strength. That is a 13. They begin poking at you, but it's a strange attack. It's not like they're stabbing into your, I would say your flesh, but they're not stabbing into your your body. It's almost like they're using their javelins to kind of pick off pieces of your armor. Oh, like a rend? Yeah, kind of. It's like the points are slicing at you and also kind of like removing your armor that you're using at the moment. So you take 20 points of damage. Oh, you get a minus two to your armor class. I'm going to do 10 damage because I'm raging. Oh, right, right, right. And then how do I adjust my armor? Yeah, just make a note for now, like mentally. Okay. Stop tickling me. What is this? This is weird strategy. Oh my gosh. See who you're going to make me naked. The remaining three trolling like rustle around in their sacks, pull out something and they begin lobbing objects at the other three members of the party. All three of you make dexterity saving throws objects. I'll describe them in a bit once we determine whether they hit you or not 12, the brown and squishy 17, 6. All right. So 12 from Doug, a 17 from Gunther and a six from Natty, which are all failures. You all begin getting pelted with what appear to be severed limbs. Severe arms and legs begin raining down on the three of you, bludgeoning you and hitting you all over, doing 10 points of bludgeoning damage to each of you. Wow, would have been better. Gosh, you have found the remains of my last foes. Ha ha. I love the Gunther trash talk. Natty, you're up. Then after Natty is dug then Gunther. Okay. You said there were six trolling and two went to attack, told one got killed. Right. There were six. One got killed before their actions. So there are two attacking 12 and three who were lobbing those limbs and the three that are lobbing their limbs. Are they in a group? Yes. Okay. Careful, Natty. They are armed. There it is. Natty wants to try something out that she's been working with Captain Grumbles and Gigi for Gigi's attack. Okay. And Natty yells out, Grumbles, initiate attack topsy toddler. And Captain Grumbles goes, and he picks up Gigi. Doesn't matter if Gigi wants to be picked up or not, he's actually fine if he doesn't want to because Gigi's holding his axe and Captain Grumbles holding Gigi out in front of him just rushes towards those trolling as Gigi just swipes around and tries to hit the first thing he can. All right. Yeah, let's do it. I'm just going to roll for his basic attack. I don't think you've ever given me a precedent for his axe. 17 plus 5. 22. Oh yeah, that's good. Three plus three slashing damage. So six slashing damage. Okay. And his like rend has a poisoning effect, but he's using the axe. So I assume that isn't proc. Well, what applies the poison? Is it like his claws or his mouth or is there like further explanation of where it comes from? The attack is called rend and it's a melee attack. I think it's just maybe like a bite or a claw. I don't know. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah. So yeah, six slashing damage to a troll. I'm fine with that. Okay. The troll kind of stumbles a little bit, but regains his composure and stands ground. Well, he won't for very long because now he's going to shoot him. Nice. Nanny goes, good job, baby. And points a finger at that guy, rolls a, what do I get to that plus seven? So rolls a 23. Yep, good. Gigi's not going to get hit by that, is he? No. D 10, seven plus four plus three, 14. Wow. That's impressive. And you were targeting the one that Gigi hit, right? Yeah. Yeah. That trolling falls to the ground as well, joining its friend in a long nap. Nice. I get to blast again. Whoo. So anyway, Nanny started blasting. Yeah. And so I guess I'll just go for another trolling where, where my baby is. But that's not going to work. That's a two plus of seven. So nine. That is not enough, unfortunately. That's not true. I give inspiration. I got to lead by example. Twist of a century. I just rolled a nat 20. I am glad you're, you're deed that. Good job. That's a good use. We'll role play this a little bit. Tov, how are you going to inspire Nanny here in this moment? I like it. I say, come on, Nanny, you can do better. Your baby Gigi is watching his mama now impress him. I like it. Yeah. Yes. I'm going to roll for damage on that 10 plus four plus three. So seven. No, not plus three, but 14, 14 damage, four damage plus crit, right? You crit plus crit plus another 10. Yeah. So 24. Wow. You see that? I am glad you see how good of a parent's nat is to Gigi. This is good to be new. I'm liking this that a trolling gets blasted into a couple of different pieces that fall to the floor. All right. That's two for me. That's how you're like Gimli here. Well, I keep track of everybody I send to my wife. You have it like a ticker sheet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're on the guest list for the wedding, the wedding for your existing wife. We're having, we're married, but we haven't gotten to have the ceremony. Like now renewal or something like that. Buffet style or table delivery or, you know, I'm a fan of a buffet. Oh, because it's usually you get to go and pick what you want. And I just love saying that word. It sounds fancy. I mean, I have to say you're incentivizing us to stop you from killing because there's just going to be more people in the buffet line. I'm hungry. I like that reasoning. Anything else, Natty? I'm done. Before we move on, I do want to mention this. Micah says that we've talked about this before, and that Natty also said buffet that previous time as well. So it's definitely settled. Canon. Oh, really? Yeah. Didn't we talk about it like recently? I'll tell you what, we talked about it before my wedding. And a lot of you guys said you prefer buffet and I was very hurt because I did a plated dinner for my wedding and I was like, they're not going to like my dinner. I love plated dinner. I don't have to walk nowhere. Everyone gets it at the same time. I don't like what I become around a buffet because of my like, like, colonel instinct. I don't like what I become. Consume as much as possible. It's like the survival caveman situation. Yeah, it's the survival caveman part of my brain. It's like, you must consume. Okay. Speaking of consumption, Doug, I believe you are up. Guys, I just want to say they no longer have a leg up on us and he holds Doug, make me a perception check. Okay, you got it. We're going to find out what kind of leg it is a bit. 17. The legs still wriggling in your hand. Oh, I assume they're like robotic. No, are they like actual like human fleshy limbs? They're smaller than human. They're small. But yeah, it is still kicking and trying to kick you in the face as you pick it up. Could I tell what type of creature make me another perception check here? Maybe you're crazy, Doug, but it looks like a trolling leg. Maybe it's because trolling are in front of you. And that's what you have in mind, but it seems like the same size of leg as the creatures that you're encountering right now. What's a trolling like a small troll? Let me see. I think I have a physical. So I just didn't know if it was like anything special. So it is a just a smaller version of a troll. It's a like a warty humanoid gray green muscles, glowing red eyes. Okay. And these legs seem to match. Yeah. With your roll of a seven. Oh yeah. But maybe it's one of those really easy ones since they're in front of me. All right. What do you want to do, Doug? So the ones that were throwing the limbs at us, Natty blasted one of them to sleep. Correct. I believe Natty blasted two of them. So there's two remaining. There's one remaining over there that was one of the throwers and the two remaining around 12 in melee range. Okay. There are melee range of tolls. So if I did an area of attack type thing, tolls might get in the way. Tell me what you want to do and we'll see. We'll see. Maybe we can like angle it or finagle it to to work out. Well, I wanted to ask if any of them were at the edge of the boat, like to the point where if they got hit real bad, they might topple over. Oh, definitely a possibility if you angle like a force attack or something in that direction. Okay. Just for transparency, they may make a dexterity check or something to see if they're able to keep their feet under them. For sure. I'm going to just try to shoot my crossbow at one of the ones attacking tolls or near tolls. Okay. Yeah. Shoot. Nice. 23. Oh, yeah. That's great. And that will do four points of damage. Yeah. The crossbow bolt impacts one of those trolling. It looks down at it and looks up at you and snarls. And could I actually, this is a bonus action that I meant to say before I rolled my damage. Could I also cast branding smite? Yeah. What does that do? A bonus action. And the next time you hit a creature with a weapon attack before this bill ends, the weapon gleams with astral radiance as you strike. The attack deals an extra two D six radiant damage to the target. Yeah. Absolutely. So yeah, go ahead and roll that won't be snarling for long. That's an extra six points of damage. Okay. So your crossbow ball flies true striking yet. The trolling looks down at it and as the branding smite takes hold, it begins to glow and you know, the radiant damage impact your trolling and the trolling kind of tries to shield its eyes from the glow, but it becomes too much and the trolling loses its balance and falls over the railing of the ship into the swirling whirlpool below. And could I listen out for a little splash sound? I'm going to tell you what, you can, it's going to be very difficult to hear because of the storm raising. Make me an investigation check at disadvantage to see if you hear it. Okay. Seven. You're not sure if you can hear it or not. You hear the trolling yelling as it falls over the edge, but you just can't make out a splash. It's just too loud swirling around you. Pull tries to cover and goes, oh. Got him. Gus, the way you were describing that, it was like almost like you were describing how the vampires would die like in the blade movies. But then he just, he fell back. I was like, oh, okay. I was thinking the raiders, whenever the lightning hits them and then like beams of light come out of their mouth and orifices. He like literally a stake like a bolt went into him and I was just thinking of you know, West six nights. Anything else you do, Doug? I think that's it. That's my turn. All right. Don't you have a blade tattoo? Sorry to do. I do. Okay. Right over here. You know he does. You can talk about that in a second when I'm on it. Gunther, you're up. I have a question about this harpoon that is the test or ship. Okay. Where is it and is how like embedded into the ship is it? So I'm not going to go back and look up the exact wording of it, but I'll give you a broad explanation. It was the ballista arrow that was fired and then split off into multiple like ballista shafts that impacted your ship. So it would started as one spread out and now there's like several that are impacted into your ship and holding on. So if you were thinking about like going and trying to remove it, it would take a while because there's a few. There's several, right? How many? I believe it was three. Three. If you're going to do something with that, I'm going to go back and double check. I'm just saying three to give an idea of where it is more or less. I guess I could just, we could kill these guys first and then deal with it. There's only two trolling left on the deck. One that's threatening Tole and another one that was one of the limb throwers. All right. It's got your name on it. Yeah. Gunther reaches into his pouch and pulls his flail and goes, ha ha ha throws it off the board. I also do not need my weapon. Solidarity. Yeah. And then jumps and can you try and run and jump and stab that one by 12? Absolutely. I love the camaraderie here by Gunther. That's in that 20. All right. 28. Yeah. That clearly hits. So that's, how does that work out? Yeah, I'll modify it. So yeah, the D&D Beyond did that thing where it automatically rolls the crit damage, but we do the thing where one of the die is a maximum damage. So it says 15, but it's actually 22 points of damage. That sounds good. I'll take that. Yeah. So you run at that trolling with your rapier, right? Is that what you said? Yeah. And skewer the trolling, which falls limp on your rapier. Just to flavor it a little. Can I lift it up, swing it around and fling it off the ship? Oh, strong as Gunther. Yeah. Make a strength check. Okay. That's a 17. That's not bad. Yeah. You're able to lift it up. It takes both hands, but you're able to pick the trolling up and flick it off of your rapier into the swirling whirlpool. We did nothing in this ship. And then Gunther wants to run and just throw, he's throwing everything off the ship. He wants to run and go and do the same thing on that last remaining trolling. Charge at it. Yeah. And attack it. Okay. Yeah. Make your attack roll. 23. Yeah. That hits. Okay. And that's 12 damage. Does it look like they're still alive? It seems like it's barely hanging on. All right. Then I'm going to use a superiority dice to precision attack and I'll add the superiority die to the roll. Oh wait. No, sorry. That's not to the damage. I'm sorry. Oh, it's just to the attack? Yeah. I'm going to be honest with you, Chris. I said it was barely hanging on so you could add damage or do whatever cool thing it was that you had in mind. It was actually dead. I was giving you an opportunity to do cool stuff. So generous. So yeah, it falls limp. Is that it for your turn, yes. And now Gunther looks to captain not what's his name? Garbles or Giggle? What's his name? Grumbles? Not grumbles. Captain Toll. Ironclad? Oh, Ironclad? Yeah. Captain Toll. Okay. And beard. What do we do now? Oh, I'm the captain now. Yeah. Wait, so all of the trolling's are dead, yeah? Yes. All the ones that boarded. Yeah. Okay. So we have like thoroughly embarrassed Ironclad with his boarding party of little silly boys. I think we have to talk trash. So if you could all join me in mocking Ironclad, I think that that's the next best method of attack. I don't think your mommas loved you enough and you're taking all these problems out on other people and you need to spend some time introspectively dealing with your own problems so you don't make them out of people's problems. I think you're a motherless loser and you deserve all the bad things including paper cuts and splinters and stomp toes. Stomp toes. Stomp toes. I think that you are stupid. Whoa. That'd be pretty. Micah just bleep out the word Barbara says so it sounds like it's a worse word than it was. Like a really long bleep. I think that you are s***. I thought that's quite the insult. I am saying that I am Ironclad. You're over there because you look smelly. Oh, oh god. Um, but now I'm glad. Elvod, do you have anything cool to say? Go ahead. Oh yeah, you are a bad father. You all are hurling all these insults at Ironclad and as you know, he's receiving them, it seems like he's just gripping tighter and tighter onto the wheel of his ship. Why? You realize why? Because all of a sudden your ship suddenly smashes into a solid seabed, jostling you all about. Everyone make a dexterity saving throw. Like we hit the floor? Yeah. 15. 20. I don't know, 7 plus I think 3. So 10. 17. It's so startles you, Natty, that it knocks you off your feet and you just lose your footing and fall down onto the deck of the ship. So I'm just like prone? Yeah, just like following your butt, sitting down. Okay, well my butt is padded so I think I'm okay. Thank god. No damage. Everyone make me a investigation check. Eight, six, 13. 14. You all look around and you know, everyone you can tell that it seems like you're on a solid seabed at the bottom of an ocean and it's like you're bordered by a cyclonian column of swirling water around and above. Toll and dug, you're able to continue looking around and you see that on the seabed around you, it's carpeted by a myriad of shipwrecks, treasure and bones. Cool. It's like the end of a little mermaid. Yeah, when Ursula is all going like, Moses, is that you? Wrong place, wrong time, homie. So he's got like shipwrecks, treasure and bones. This might be where Ironclad, like this might be his spot. Like, do you think he planned this? I don't know. I mean, the spot does look familiar. Like I think I look at Ironclad. Is he distressed or does he feel like this is the norm? He has a big smile on his face. But like his ship is attached to ours. So like us being grounded, won't that also stop his ship? It sounds like he this is his intention. Okay. His ship is also on the seabed as well, alongside yours. Always was a poopy driver. Everyone make me a wisdom check. This party's been better about intelligence and wisdom than previous campaigns, but it's still a weak point. I have a plus three, but I just rolled low. Mud and Bart had wisdom to handle. It's just intelligence. We just, okay, people had wisdom to handle. Laskeel walks over to you, Doug. They are looking around wide eyed and says, I think this might be non-demo. That's where we were trying to go. Was it? Is this where they had to keep in the sea drink? This could be the place. It is very difficult to find. I wonder why Ironclad would take us right here. That's if he's been doing this on purpose. He looks like he just might be crazy. It's a wee smile and cause of the crazies. Could Ironclad be the sea drinker? No, definitely not. Laskeel continues talking to you, Doug. The location of Non-Demo seems to change without rhyme or reason. Those who've been here have never been heard from again. Some say it holds the secret to eternal life, while others say it's an unending vortex. Well, based on what I'm seeing, I think the never ending vortex could be a little more accurate. Those legs and arms were still alive even though they were dead. Non-Demo was where we were trying to head to, right? Yes. And we were trying to head to where they might be keeping the sea drinker, which we thought was Non-Demo. Or did Non-Demo have information as to where the sea drinker was? You are under the impression this is where the sea drinker is. Okay, thank you, guys. Do we see anyone around here that looks like they might be, you know, thirsting for the sea? Ironclad looks a little parched. Can Natty get off the boat? Yeah, you can stand up and get off and go on the seabed. Ironclad would probably call out to Toleve at this point, Toleve and Elva, and say, What say you? Shall we work together and find the sea drinker? Or do you want to end this once and for all? I want you to eat my butts. I mean, come on, you think you're going to work together, buddy, buddy? Me and Elva hate you. Although I'm kind of curious, why do you want the sea drinker? Why wouldn't I? The sea drinker would be a powerful ally. But have it your way. Ironclad signals to his remaining trolling on his ship, and they begin racing to one of the nearby shipwrecks. Okay, McDonald's. Geez. No, that's not what- That's Burger King. Okay, BK, have it your way. We should go look for also the sea drinker. Okay, it's like Gus's favorite game show, Amazing Race. I know it's not Korean, but Doug also knows a little bit of Japanese, and knows that non-emo means nothing. Oh, okay. That's a really, uh, if this place is anything like that, which meaning it might mean this is just nothing. We'll have to find out. Okay, we have a map of where the sea drinker location is, right? No, Laskeel has a map. Laskeel where are they? Which means we have a map. Yeah. So Laskeel has a map of the area, and they know where non-emo is, and that is presumably where the sea drinker is, just to be clear about what specific information is available. We have any like freaky-deaky magic things that could help us find it, like the eye-gazer thing? We got our own eyes. Let's go look. Okay, yeah. Well, I have a question for 12. Do you at all know what the sea drinker is supposed to look like, or like how they, you know, present themselves? Gus, do I? Because I know that Bjorn knew them and had some sort of relationship with them. Did I ever encounter them? Did that ever cross over into my whole? Make me a history check. You know, I, uh, majored in history at UT once. What? What do you mean once? I didn't. I did. Yeah, it's proving because I just got a nat 20. Thank you very much. Duh. Okay, so, so I got into the college with a history major, and then I switched a moment that they let me in. I was like, yeah, I wrote a whole essay about how my dad's a history teacher, and how I'm so passionate about history. Lies. You feel like you've seen old relic art depicting the sea drinker, and you think you could recall what those art pieces depict the sea drinker looking like? Oh my gosh, you're so right. It is a squid like creature with tendrils on face, period. Bodymate of Walter, period. That's from memory. What if we told Ironclad that we do want to team up, and then we do not, and then we fight? And then we double cross? Yes. Oh, I'm just going to be lowering myself to his level if I do that. Elva, what do you think? Ironclad's out of communication range. Ironclad has booked it and taken off with the trolling, and they are investigating a shipwreck. Okay, well, in this situation, we are the American gladiators. The contestants has the head start. Now it's our turn to beat their bombs and to embarrass them because they have such a head start. So let's go gang. Cool. Hop off the ship. Gather follows. So we're able to like easily explore this area because we're not underwater anymore. That's like kind of cleared. Correct. It's almost like a small sandy island at the bottom of the sea that's bordered by the whirlpool. Like you're in the eye of it and imagine the eye goes from the surface of the ocean straight down to the bottom and you're at the bottom of this swirling whirlpool. And how big of a space? Is it like arena sized or like bigger? It's pretty big. You're looking around. There's at least eight different shipwrecks you see down here. Gotcha. And where do they seem to be heading? They're heading towards a half buried frigate that appears to be upside down. Is it have like a name on it or anything like that? Or is there anything that makes it stand out? Since it's upside down, you can't see like where the name would be. It's buried in the sand. Okay. I mean, I guess we could try to head them off. Let's go to our own ship. Do you think we're playing like, guessy, guessy? Like whoever? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I thought that before I saw that Gustavo just rolled a dice to see which ship they go to. Yeah, I thought that too. I'm being serious. I thought that before I was like, they're probably going to go look for one. We should go look for one. But then it was confirmed when I saw that. Really quick, Gus. What are the different ships? What are our options? You see a dinghy, a raft, a longboat, a sloop, a brigantine, a frigate, which Ironclad is going to, a manawar, and a ship of the line. We're really testing our nautical knowledge here. Today I learned there's actually that many names and types of boats. Where's the last three? Frigate, manawar, and ship of the line. Maybe the manawar. Manawar is big, right? I have a differing opinion. And so maybe I could go check out my own boat while you guys go check that. I don't want to like stop you from going where you want to go. I got stung by a manawar when I was a child. I'm so sorry to hear that. It was awful. We got to do something. Natty goes to the raft. We shall split into two. Sure. I'll go with Natty. Okay. You and me go in there. We're going to the manawar. Yes. Okay. I'm going to do Natty and Doug first because Natty said the raft. Remind me if I forget that you said manawar, Blaine. Okay. If one of us discovers that we do the secret whistle, go ahead. Yeah, let's do it. Gunther can't whistle. Yeah, I don't think frogs can whistle. I saw Chris Lillytron. He pursed his lips and he gave up pretty quickly. Natty and Doug, you make a beeline for the raft. And as you approach it, you can see that the raft is skewered by some kind of razor sharp coral. You have like a knife or anything like that. For what? To cut the coral off. No, it's just stranded from that. What are you thinking that we got to cut it free for? I thought I was like covering the entrance of the bay. Oh, like it was like creating a like a bramble kind of a situation. Like a barrier. Yeah, is that what it is? Like a barrier or reef? No, it's just like through the middle. You can work your way around it. Okay, we work our way around it. Is it a complex raft or is it like huckleberry fin raft? Let's say between the two. It's not just like a bunch of logs tied together, but it's not like a huge ship either. Think of like an emergency life raft, like an escape raft, like you're getting off the Titanic kind of deal. Like a little bigger than Tom Hanks raft in a faster way. Yeah, bigger than a bread box. Then Natty would like to investigate the raft. Me too. Yeah, both of you make an investigation check. Plus one. 18. 12. Just for fun, both of you roll me a 20 sided die. Oh, what's gonna come out of here? 16. I think he's gonna determine if you taint the endangered coral. Nat 20. Nat 20. You pour sunscreen onto it. Nice. Hopefully it's good. Nat 20's gotta be good. It's always good, Gus. For how many creatures come out of this thing in a test? Oh, no. As you're, you know, kind of looking around and investigating, Natty, you see a poster that seems to be skewered by some of the coral that's flapping around in the wind. Okay, well I'll go look at the poster since you're bringing it up. You pick it up and flip it over and it's a wanted poster. Four. I'm going to slack you what it says. What does it say? Share with the class. Doug, as you're looking around, you see a skull on the raft and, you know, you kind of investigate a little bit. You kick it over and it seems like it has one glowing gray socket. Can I make a request, John? Can John make a request? Yeah. We haven't done this in a while, but I'm actually going to request this to happen. I want to tell Doug what I'm seeing, but I don't want to tell the other two. So can you guys take your headphones off? Give us a thumbs up whenever you're done. Like mute it and take it off. I don't want you to hear a single thing I say. Okay. Hey, Doug, can you come over here real quick? Yeah, what am I seeing? I show Doug the poster and it has Gunther's face on it. Oh my God. And it says reward 100 gold pieces, send word via Raven or bring to Sky Blue Falls prison. It's like a wanted poster. 100 gold is a lot of gold. I want to clarify. It's actually a thousand gold pieces. Thousands. Sorry. I misread that. It's a thousand. That's a lot of gold. I feel like we should maybe hold this information to ourselves for just a little bit, not forever, just a little bit. Just until this episode comes out and they could actually listen to this conversation happening. Stop acting like Tove. Okay. So, okay. So that's what's happening. Okay. Okay. I guess just like maybe fold it up in pocket or something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now he does that. You can give him a thumbs up. Gunther, it seems like Natty and Doug are having a great time. They're talking very exciting and laughing. I wonder what's happened. Guys, I found a skull. It's got like a glowing gray socket in it. Steel Eye? Does anyone recognize it? And I like hold it up to everybody. As you touch it and hold it up. No. You wonder if that was a good decision or a bad decision to share with them. Oh, okay. Is there like an effect happening? You just have like a weird feel, like that feeling in your gut and the pit of your stomach. Like maybe you should have kept it to yourself. Or where are we? Are we because are you inside? We're running away to the now. They're on a raft and then you two went to a different ship. Yeah. I just figured I would like yell it out as you guys were like headed out. Maybe the the correspondence was picked up by ironclad? Maybe. As you're showing off your skull to the group, a second floaty skull appears and tries to take a bite at you, Doug. Oh my god. It hits AC 16. Could I use shield as a reaction? Absolutely. So an invisible barrier of magical force appears and protects you until the start of my next turn. I have a plus five bonus to my AC. So it not hit me. Okay. So yeah, it tries to bite like it's just floating there trying to chomp at you, Doug. Can I cast a fireball at it? 25. That does 13 points of fire damage headshot. The skull changes fire and then falls to the ground. Before we move on from this, could I tell what kind of skull it is? Like if it's like a humanoid or like some other type of creature? The one that tried to bite you? Both. They both appear humanoid. So like normal size, not huge or small or something. Yeah, medium size is what we would say. Well, I don't know if I should take this with me or not, but maybe just watch my back, Natty, and see if any other skulls are trying to munch on me. I feel like it might be in your best interest to maybe drop that for the moment. Okay, I'll put it down. I just figured that it's kind of a coincidence that you picked up a skull and then got attacked by a skull. That's fair enough, but I got my eye on you. You put the skull back down on the ground. And then again, you're like, man, maybe that's the wrong decision. This thing has me questioning a lot of things. Weird. I wonder if it like has some type of like mental effect. The skull of insecurity. Since I am a caster, could I maybe do some sort of check to see if I could tell if Doug is enchanted or cursed or something like that? Make an arcana check. Are you sure that's the right move, Natty? The skull questions you. Playing in my head right now. 17. Yeah, it seems like there's some kind of enchantment on this skull that Doug picked up. Okay. Doug, I believe you left the oven on at your home. You just see him frozen there in time. You have an oven, Doug. I'm going to at this point, smash cut to Gunther and Toll, who were on their way to the Manor War. I also want to keep an eye out for my Vor Amar. It's lost. See, make a dexterity check. Toll. Okay. He's going to return to my hand like I am moon's Thor. Ooh, 19. You stub your toe and almost trip, but you catch yourself as your foot impacts your half buried war hammer in the sand in front of the Manor War. There you are. I give it a kiss. I brush off the sand. Then I give it another kiss and then I clean the sand off of my lips. And before you is a shipwrecked Manor War sitting at the bottom of the sea. Cool. Let us go in. Yeah, you board the Manor War and you see that there are corpses all over the deck, numerous corpses. Like what types of and what level decay both you make investigation checks and I'll answer. Don't worry. I got this one. They have about two levels of decay on them. Sure. That was good. That was good. One and a 10. That was a Michael one. I can't steal this joke. That's good. As you look to determine the amount of decay on the corpses, you make a startling realization. All of these corpses have hooks for hands. Let's no wonder they've wracked. I mean, dang, that must have been hard to steal the ship with a bunch of hook cannons. Yes. Is there anything else besides these corpses? Can we like comb the ship? Yeah, both of you roll me a d20. 11. 13. There's not much of note. Gunther, you find a small book based on the title. It seems to be about tying different kinds of sailor knots or NATO. That's a good one. You should keep that. Yeah, I guess I'll keep it. And as you're putting that in your pack, I assume you're putting it in your pack, a flock of birds begin circling overhead and they begin diving down, picking at the cube. Are still raging? No, you would not be raging anymore. Okay. One of them manages to successfully slash at you with its talons, Gunther, and it does one point of slashing damage. Oh, geez. There's like the kind of gross seagull. I ran so far away. Seagulls are gross. Seed drinker, are you here? No? I have an idea. I have a tinder box and a torch. I want to light it up and then maybe we can miss direct ironclad. Oh, yeah. By acting like we're signaling for, well, actually you should probably see if this actually is the seed drinker is on the ship or not. Because they would do this. Did anyone respond? You haven't even investigated the ship yet. The seagulls circle and swoop again. This time one of them hits, total doing one point of damage. I love space age love song. Getting into deeper cuts. Their second hit. Some may argue that's even better than Iran. Just so far away. Yeah, you got this. Yeah. Yeah. Can we go below deck where the seagulls are not? Yeah, you descend into the belly of the man award. And I know all about this because I have a book on knots because you said where the seagulls are not. It's a stretch. It's a bit of stretch. Just a little stretch away there, good. Yeah, I know. I did not get it. Okay. Hey, we want, we want this man. We want to take their headphones off. Ready to launch your business. Get started with the commerce platform made for entrepreneurs. Shopify is specially designed to help you start, run and grow your business with easy customizable themes that let you build your brand marketing tools that get your products out there. Integrated shipping solutions that actually save you time from startups to scale ups online, in person and on the go. Shopify is made for entrepreneurs like you. Sign up for your $1 a month trial at Shopify.com slash setup. Attention. Attention, rail travelers, platform paces, window gazers and armrest negotiators. Have you heard the big rail fare freeze is here? Railfares have been frozen across England until March 2027 on standard class tickets, including off peak, anytime and season tickets. For more information, visit nationalrail.co.uk slash fares for ease. Season, season exclusions apply. You descend into the hold and begin going down the stairs and then very quickly you're just met with sand. Like the bottom deck of the Man of War is submerged in sand. I hate sand. It gets everywhere? Of course. Is it just sand or could be anything buried in it? Make an investigation check. All right. That's a tin. That's a pretty good. As far as rolls go, I think that's a pretty good roll. That's pretty good. On a scale of 1 to 10, that's perfect. That's true. I mean, he's not wrong. I like Blaine's over enthusiastic laugh helping to sell the joke. That is good. I mean, on a scale of 1 to 10, that's not bad. You hear some kind of rattling just below the surface of the sand gun. Can I try and start digging where that rattling might come from? Yeah. You begin digging and just below the surface, you see a chest and it seems to be rattling. Try to reopen it. I don't think the sea drinker is in there, but I am so curious and I know what they say about the cat, but I'm going to take my Warhammer to the lock of this chest and blast it open. Okay, and I'll prep and have my sword ready. Shield out. Good call. Good call. Okay. Toe, you bring your Warhammer down and smash the chest open. And as you do so, many gold coins come hopping out, jumping all over the place. Like when Sonic hits a spike. Right. Yeah. All over you guys just out and about. Are they like animated or did they just spew out? Yeah, was this like spring loaded or? They're still hopping. They're hopping away from you guys. I think that this is like some sort of game like trickery, like cursed coin. Try and grab one. Yeah, make a dexterity check. You agreed. No, no. 15 to solve. Yeah, you're able to snatch three of the gold coins and they're wiggling in your hand. They're funny. Get 47 more and you can get the next chaos emerald. I think we should go from here. This is not seem like Sea Drinker. Okay, I will light up a torch though and as loud as possible directed towards Iron Klad's group. We'll be like gang we found her. It's a Sea Drinker. She's in this ship. The man of war. Don't tell Iron Klad. Do not tell Iron Klad. He cannot know that this is the location of the Sea Drinker. As you begin signaling with the torch, two of those seagulls come down and slash you for a total of two points of damage to Iron Klad. The secret is to attack and defeat all the seagulls first and then the Sea Drinker appears. Make a deception check told. I think I'm going to nail this one guys. I mean an 18. We're good. Pretty good. Natty and Doug. Tov seems to be calling you guys over. Yeah, we didn't plan this. So we're going to head over there. You didn't tell us that there's going to be a fake out. We did not do this. Natty and Doug, you better head over to that manor. I think Tov has found the Sea Drinker over there. I mean, I guess we're going to have to go around at some point. So maybe we could just look at a ship on the way. If I did a wink, would it make you guys not think that? I was just waiting for you to do anything that would tell us that this was a ruse, but you didn't. So I'm going to play in the space and say we got to head over there. I don't know. I feel like I would be able to tell though if if he's purposely telling Iron Klad to go over there. We know Tov enough that he doesn't trust Iron Klad. So you both could make a vibe check if you want. That's what I was going to say. I think we have to let Dice decide. Yeah, yeah. I don't think we get to meta our way out of this. Vibre check. What's that again? Insight. I am of no help. I just rolled a seven. 21. Okay. Yes. Doug, you think Tov is being a little sneaky here? I think he's pulling on a leg. He's holds up the leg, but he's still holding on to that. He's getting a lot of mileage out of that one. Every time you get rid of that thing, you start chewing on it. It's comedy gold. Yeah. Or as it's unfunny, the skull asks. You look around and Giggie's got an arm in his mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So should we maybe check another boat? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's check another one. All right. Well, before you do that, then I'm going to resolve Tov trying to talk to Ironclad. Smart. So first what I'm going to do is I'm going to make a perception check to see if Ironclad hears you. Tov. He rolled an 18. So yeah, he would hear you. Then he's going to do his own vibe check. Fail. Okay. Insight check. Fail. It's not great. Tov, you see Ironclad look up, look in your direction and begin running towards the man of war. He's so stupid. He's such an idiot. Let's go to another ship. I'm sorry. He's just going to chase you now. Okay. Can we sneak away? Can we try and sneak away? Yeah. Both of you make stealth checks to see if you're able to sneak away. Like maybe we wait till we get on the other side of the ship and wait till Ironclad tries to enter and then we run around. Yeah. Okay. I'm at a deception for stealth. I rolled an 18. Disadvantage. You mean disadvantage. You said deception. I'm so sorry. Yeah. Disadvantage. My brain is warped. 13. 14. Not bad. That's pretty good. We'll get to the results of that as you try to sneak away after we deal with back to Doug and Natty. Okay. All right, Doug. Which one do you want to go to? I would like to look at the longboat. That was very, what's his name? The Looney Tunes pig. That's what that I sounded like. Which one do you want to go to? The longboat. I think that's a good, I like that one. Let's go to the longboat. It kind of reminds me of Longbow. Longboat of Triumph. Yes, exactly. You walk over to the longboat and it seems like the longboat is like intertwined and it's circled and grappled by a giant squid carcass. Isn't the sea drinker supposed to be kind of like squid like? Yeah. I don't know if this is a good sign or a bad sign. I know. Squid faced. Squid face. Like squid like tendrils on the face. Yeah. Custululike with the water body. Gotcha. All right. Can we investigate around here? Yeah. Let's check out this boat. Both of you make investigation checks. 23. That's good because I rolled a two. And then just for fun, both of you roll me d20s. Not bringing around that skull anymore feels good. 19. Okay. This is why we're such a good team. Balance. Although maybe Gus is hoping that we need to both roll high. Maybe it's like a group thing. Maybe. I don't know. Or maybe I'm just making you roll because I'm trying to make you think. Maybe. Something's going on. You both investigated. You both both your roles were pretty good. As you're looking around on the longboat, you find a single golden manacle with five links. Wait, what? A manacle with five links as in just links of chain attached to it? Yeah. Exactly. So it's not attached to anything. It's just dangling with some like just loose and free. Could I pick it up and look through it? You keep picking up cursed stuff in this case. Wait, do you think I shouldn't? Is this all still here? No, pick it up. Pick it up. Let's see. Yeah, you pick it up and it just seems to be like it's not plated. It's an actual solid gold manacle with five links on it. That's a fancy manacle for a fancy prisoner. Now that's I'm wondering. Normally you don't invest that kind of money into the holding somebody. Does it seem like it's been like broken? No, the all the chains are intact. And if you had to estimate, you'd say this is probably worth nine gold pieces. Can I take it? That's a nady, I guess. Yeah, I mean, I don't care. I'm gonna talk with this guy. Not this call, though. Not that guy. Hey, come back here. Are you? I don't. The choice is yours. So Doug found the manacle. What? Like on the is a lot. What's the construction of a longboat, Gustavo? Wood? Is that what you're asking? Well, like, is it like, are there levels to it? Is there a lower area? Is there like, where did we find this manacle? Oh, this is just out on the deck on top of the longboat. There does not appear to be any below deck area. Micah says it's long, which is very descriptive. Thank you. There you go. Yeah, thank you. That's what I was thinking. Yeah, that's what I wanted. Okay, well, we've looked, we've found something. Nothing bad happened. You got some gold. I don't think we've found the sea drinker. Can you think of anything else? With your smart noggin? I mean, I feel like we've seen all we could see over here. We guess we could just keep going. Both of you make perception check. 19. 15. As you know, you two are trying to figure out your next move. You notice some rustling and some bits of cloth. And on the deck of the ship, it seems like two skeletons form out of cloth and rise. And they look at each other and begin chanting. Is that a chant? It's in a language you don't understand. Are you sure about that? Is it a language that Gigi understands? Gigi's doing the thing that dogs do. He like turns his head sideways. Yeah. And looking at them. No, Gigi is not sure what they're saying either. Okay. Well, I say, howdy, all. What's you doing? Do you understand what I'm saying? They don't seem to acknowledge you at all. They're just looking at each other and they continue chanting. What if I hold up the gold manacle? No reaction. Maybe it's related to the manacle. Maybe it's not. One of them begins raising its arms to skyward. Okay. Nanny's going to try parody and walk up to them and mimic what they're saying and mimic their motions. Could I also do, I don't know if it'd be like a history check or something, but do they seem to be doing the same pose as we saw on those mosaics we saw? They call that zodiac thing. Make it a history check. Big roll, good roll, big roll, good roll. 18? Yeah. Wow. You think about it and it doesn't seem exactly the same. It doesn't seem to be like the same whatever that was. And as you're watching and thinking about it, clothes begin raining down from the sky. Clothes? Yeah. Tunics and pants. Pants. Okay. This is so confusing. I'm just, I'm just perplexed. You feel like a god of wardrobe or something like that? I don't know. The skeletons seem to dissipate and lose their form and they just fall back to the pile of cloth on the deck of the ship. The man of wardrobe? Yeah, yeah, that's very good. Different ship. We're too far away to hear bad jokes. Okay. Is there anything notable? You mean the clothes or just mundane clothes? Make an investigation check. I will. Thanks very much. Okay, we got off on the wrong foot. Stop. Put it down. Put it down. Investigation 19. It just seems like mundane clothing and frankly, pretty drab. Okay. Well, I mean, yeah, everything compared to me is. Where would that have been coming from? Because it's just like, that's just the sky above us, right? There's nothing floating above us? Oh, should we check the squid? I think you should as a gesture of goodwill. Why? Why is this a cursed episode? Why is this a cursed episode? I don't even get that one. The old discard clothes. Goodwill. Oh, there you go. I thought it was something related to the squid and I was like, oh, Lane, you're welcome. I didn't get it either. Okay, there you go. That's pretty good. Okay, I'm gonna go check out the squid and then I'll stop wasting everybody's time with whatever this longboat story is. Yeah, make another investigation check. Doug, help. I will too. We'll investigate. I feel like this squid might hold secrets. 15. 14. Okay. Listen to this. They like this. No, I know. But I feel like this, I feel like this boat is not a sea drinker boat. You mean the clothes Skellington's and yeah, I just know it doesn't seem to me that this is where our God is. You begin, you know, looking around the giant squid carcass and as you're investigating it and like lifting different pieces, you find a swarm of baby squid that come out and begin flopping around all around your feet. Natty. Oh my gosh. Hey, you like babies. I just had a thought. Now I have to roll a dice. Oh, no. He starts eating one of them. Oh, that's my rule. If I have an impulse thought of what game I do, I have to roll for it. Baby squids flopping around and clothes falling from the sky. That equals what you look down a giggy while he's eating one of the squid. You notice something shiny in the sand. Okay, this just keeps getting better. What is it? You lean over to get a closer look and it looks like a golden medallion of some kind. It's covered in dust. I would like to stand my aura out to check to see if this is bad. Your aura out. What does that mean? I'm kind of like, you know, same thing of like is Doug cursed. I'm gonna like feel your guys. I see. Yeah, do an economy check. Nat 20 21. That's a good role. It does appear that this medallion has some kind of enchantment on it. You know what, we didn't roam. I grab it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You grab it and as you pick it up, you see that it has some kind of cracked emblem on it. Yeah. What's that look like a bullseye target? Ooh, that sounds cool. Okay, bullseye target on a medallion that I'm holding in my hand. Is there anything else that has been like a target or like a bullseye imagery? I don't think so. Oh, hey, Doug, since those two boys are over there, maybe you could telepathically ask them if they know about that. It might be out of brain. Okay, I think it's within 60 feet, but I might have used it up because I think it's one per long or rest. Okay, never mind. Also full disclosure, if you had telepathed in my brain, I would have started screaming and thought I was going mad. The medallion is like what, like it would have been on like on a chain or something. I don't know, I pocket this thing. Yeah. Okay, I pocket it. Golden bullseye medallion. Thank you. All right, we should let the other boys play. Yeah, I'm gonna cut over back to our other boys who are sneaking away from the man of war. Which ship do you want to go to? Or where do you want to go? I shouldn't railroad you like that. What do you want to go? Where do you want to do? Did you pray to the sea drinker to see if you feel guided? Yeah, sure. Why not? Okay, dear sea drinkers, we told hey, good to talk to you again. Hope you've been well. I'm looking for you right now. So if you give me any sort of sign or anything cool like that, yeah, bless up. Amen. Make a religion check. Okay. 14. Close your eyes in prayer to the sea drinker. And when you open them, you feel like you see something sparkling over at the sloop. I think that we should go to sloop. I feel like hauling there. Okay. But we should sneak tee tee. Yeah, you all did make your stealth checks and you got you did pretty good. Let's go snoop on the sloop. You snoop your way to the sloop. And as you get closer, told you see three rectangular standing stones that are covered in starfish. And the stones seem to be arranged like the letter Z or Z, depending on where you're from, arranged in the letter Z. Like, I'm trying to understand what that what's the standing stone. Yeah, like if you were looking like a top down view, it looks like the letter Z. Okay. And the standing stone is just like a stone that's seemingly planted in the ground. You know, it's got like vertical. It's not just like a toaster stone. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, just checking. And just to be clear, standing so it's kind of like Stonehenge. Imagine that. Okay. So they're big all stones. I mean, yeah, they're kind of big. Yeah. Does it look like the runes that are on my shield? This might be a bit of a spritz. I mean, in a way, you know, you got like that less than and greater than that kind of looks like it could be a Z, right? I mean upside down. Yeah, it's also hard to see because the stones are covered in starfish. Where is this relative to the stoop or sloop? It's like inside of the sloop. Okay, like the sloop was crashed around it. Okay, I'm going to approach one of the starfish. Yes, gently touch it in a friendly way. Like it's like, hello, just secret your friend. It's me told you who make a investigation. Nine, you know, you reach out and, you know, touch your sea friend, the starfish. And as you do so, the central standing stone begins lowering into the sand, transforming into a descending stone staircase. Cool. You touch the right starfish. We touch a lot of the wrong things over here. Gunther starts trying to go. I think Gunther has gas. I think he's hyperventilating. These are not my real lips. I do not know how to whistle. I could be trying to whistle. Should we go over there? Vive check. I rolled a one. I pull out a coin and I try, is there any sunlight out or anything like that? Any light source or anything? Sure. Okay, this is like an actual like thing that you would do to signal for rescues thing. I try to like reflect light in their direction to kind of get their attention, but subtly in it from undercover so that iron cloud doesn't see. Yeah, a single beam of light descends down and striking the coin for just a moment. I have to be insulting about it, guys. It's not insulting. It's a pure look. Your earlier prayer is still giving you boons. Oh, yes. Yeah, we need that Doug boons. Yeah. Doug, I think they might have finally found something. You think? Maybe. Maybe. I don't know. I feel like we're getting close to the end of this episode. So yeah. I didn't say I thought I heard them whistle, but let's all ignore Doug. No, I heard that. You're right. I heard that. But my Vive check was a one, so I didn't think it was a whistle. But yeah, let's go. No, no, no. It could just be a reflection off of something and just for fun. Yeah, let's go look at another boat. You hustle over after hearing that wonderful whistle and seeing that glint of light. They both call you over and you see Tollv and Gunther standing on top of a descending staircase in these stones that are covered in starfish. You two who just showed up, make me a perception check. 16. It was on a 13 and rolled over to a one, so it's a seven. As you approach it, begin walking up to your friend's natty. Something catches your eye on the standing stone. Behind the starfish, you can see what appear to be veins of a strange metal running through the stone. And it seems to be the same kind of metal you see on Tollv's metallic skeleton. Interesting. I pointed out to Tollv. Hey, Tollv, look, same sees. OMG, that's me. What the heck? I feel like we're on a good work. We're on the right direction. Is this your mama? Is this rock? You are made from inorganic material. I mean, do I even have a mother and a father? Who am I? My name. But you continue descending? Yeah. Can Tollv lead? Yes. Yeah. What is the marching order here? Just so I know. The boys can go first. Yeah, I would think we'd be in the back. Yeah. Okay, so I'm just going to say Tollv, Gunther, Doug, Natty. Yeah, and private parts and a bunch of NPCs. They're in the middle there. And as you all descend, Natty, the stairs behind you rise and retract back up into the ground hiding the staircase as you begin your descent. That's handy. I hope we don't need out. You descend and you find yourself in a large circular stone room that have veins of metal with steam wafting up through cracks in the floor. As you are looking around trying to get your bearings, you hear a guttural roar that seems to rumble the room. The stone floor begins cracking and spewing lava everywhere. Is this the end of our party? Will they succumb to the magma, liquid hot magma? Find out on the next episode. No, because we're going to keep going, right? No, no, you can't do like this. I attack the lava. I roll an 11. Your weapon melts and becomes lava. Tollv descends into the lava and as he goes down, a single arm raises up and then the thumb protrudes from his hand. Dun, dun, dun. Gunther, we can recreate episode one. Didn't you die falling into lava? Yeah. Was it a premonition of this? Is the prophecy going to come true? Find out in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. You're just going to ignit all of our jokes. No, that's not it. No, that's not that. It's Christmas in July, which means we have a new Gunther's Quest shirt at store.stinkydrangapod.com. And if you bundle it with three Chris character shirts, gum gum, Barney or Gunther, you get 15% off. And thanks to Chris, anyone who uses the code Christmas, which is C H R 3 S M A S gets 3% off their entire order, but hurry, these deals are only available for what? Well, the rest of July. And don't worry, the Chris character T bundle discounts on auto applied at checkout for any applicable purchase. And each store checkout is limited to one discount offer. Head over to store.stinkydragonpod.com and pick up some Chris stuff to celebrate Christmas. New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday for every stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to show for data hours early and ad free, you can support us on either platform, become a patron at stinkydragonpod.com or join as a member on beacon.tv. Both give you early ad free access and a member only discord for each platform. If you're looking for even more stinky content and community perks, our Patreon offers exclusive bonus shows behind the scenes content access to the Stinky Dragon discord members only live streams, stinky community events, and a shout out on the show, just like secretly Waldo frosty error, mutur six main, germos and autumn ferret three. These patrons direct support the show and get ad free episodes access to our patron only discord server bonus content like second one and behind the screen and other stinky perks. Here's a quick peek from the latest episode of second wind. I want to commend you, Mike. I think that was a super cool visual, a super cool idea for a way to approach a big imposing boat is like it's multiple boats hooked up together. And I thought that was a really cool idea. Thank you. I went through a couple iterations of like, should they be stacked on top of each other? Should they be like all just next to each other like connected, not even just via like gang planks, but just all like sharing the same a whole. Should there be like, should it be an iceberg situation where they're below? The other ships were also fully built out like this one was and the episode just didn't take you there. You just didn't go and that's fine. That's what happens in D and D, but it's like all of them were unique and had tons of different traits and features and like, oh, it was going to be really cool if there had been a lot of movement between the three of them. And it's fine that we stayed on the blindfold, but it's like, oh, there was so much more that we could have really dug into here. You had like a whole different system for battling, right? Well, yeah, kind of. I use like stat, I found stat blocks for actual ships and which was probably a bit much, but I think if I were to do it, we would just need to like do a tavern tail or something or just like a live stream of us just playing with boats like actually battleship almost just like do that. And because there are systems out there that are for like war versus like hand to hand combat kind of thing, like big scale stuff. And I feel like that's probably the better mechanic, but it's still more fun to be like you're in the cinematic moment of swinging on, you know, a line across the ships, you know, bow or something. I'm somewhat sad that we didn't get to see more of the dockmaster. Yeah, maybe we'll come come back to the dockmaster and its various accoutrements. One of these days, we'll get that Navy battle. Once again, that's tiki dragon pod.com. We're incredibly grateful for your support, which makes this show possible. Listeners who interacted with us on the Stingy Dragon Discord had NPCs named after them this episode. Like Elva, who's actually voiced by Charlotte Avery at mom's underscore home underscore from Astro Goblin. Check out their YouTube channel. Lousy Laskill named after Alex B 007 voiced by Chad James at Chad James RT from Death Battle. And Yarl ironclad voiced by Adam Ellis at Adam.e.l. This week's our question was submitted by the Silent Taco. This episode of Tales of Stingy Dragons produced by Ben Ernst, written and edited composed by Michael Reisinger with additional editing work by Catherine Arnold and David Sonye. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stingy Dragon. Troll like a T.R.A.W.L. Is it? Oh, is it spelled T.R.O.L.L. I don't know. You're making me question it now. Yeah, now I am too. I've never written it down. Trolling T.R.O.L.L. Oh, but there are also fishing trawlers T.R.A.W.L. That's what I was saying. It's both. But what's the T.R.O.L.L. you're referring to? Same. Oh, why? Why same? There's a same. English is dumb. That's why I speak Korean. We're switching to Korean. Thank you, Doug. All right, everyone, welcome back to the Dugs on the Ones and Toes equals Threes. I know you missed me. It's been a while. I think Doug loses track of time sometimes, you know, sometimes he does his show, sometimes he doesn't. This week, we're joined by Natty Wander. Hey, Doug. Natty, welcome to the show. Is this your first time on the Dugs on the Ones and Toes equals Threes? I think this might be like my second time. I'm not quite sure. I, you know, I listen so often. I forget, you know, when I when I've been able to participate. Just a big fan. Just a big fan. Wow. Thank you so much. You are probably one of our five listeners that we have on this show, which is four more than Doug was expecting because Doug also listens to his own radio show every other day. What sort of radio show do you like this to be? Is it just for call ins and advice? Do you play music or is this something where like you got like trivia or something like that? You know, Natty, that's a great question. Doug has not flushed it out quite yet. So far, it's just been a little bit of banter for about 30 seconds while everyone goes to urinate. Well, how about I'll facilitate and ask a question. How about a question you give advice? Oh, I love that. Okay. So I have a little baby boy and he's got a big job to do someday. And I want to get him prepared for that job. The job being, of course, ending the world and bringing about the next timeline and the new age. How do I teach him how to destroy the world, but also not put too much pressure on him? Because, you know, parents that put too much pressure on their kids, those kids just end up being screwed up. And that's all the time we have today ladies and gentlemen. Thank you so much for listening to and talking to them. We'll address that question when Doug has had time to urinate and read a couple books on the meaning of life.