The Healing Power of Humor: Rosalee Mayeux on Comedy, Resilience, and Personal Triumphs

She has been a high fashion Ford model in New York in Paris, a cult classic actress, an award winning writer, and a cancer survivor. And somewhere in the middle of all of that she found her truest calling, Making People Laugh, which also happens to be one of my most favorite things to do, so I cannot wait to talk to this woman. I am Lynn Hoffman and welcome to Comedy Saved Me, the podcast where we discuss the healing powers of laughter and comedy. And today our guest has lived about, I'd say, five lives in one. She's turned every twist, every setback, every messy beautiful chapter into comedy gold. Now you know her from movies like The Lawnmower Man with Pierce Brosnan, from Nickelodeon's They Came From Outer Space, and now from her debut comedy special, Model Mom, the story of raising two boys in LA as a single mom chasing away drug dealers and girlfriends alike. Sounds pretty fun, doesn't it? She is a winner of Cedric the Entertainer and CBS's Comedy Pays Award, a Columbine Writers Award winner, and she also headlines shows from Louisiana to Vegas all the way up to Alaska and back again. She's a busy lady. The one and only, Rosalie Mayew, right here coming up next on Comedy Saved Me, don't go anywhere, and maybe you might want to bring a box of tissues, because she already got me crying and we haven't even started the show yet. This is an I Heart Podcast. Guaranteed human. No gloss, no filter, just stories, spoken without fear. A person who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhachow on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty, stay for the fire. Comedy Saved Me. Welcome to Comedy Saved Me, Rosalie. It's so great to have you here. Now you have had one of the most eclectic careers I think I've ever come across in a long time and I love it. I wanted to do everything too, just saying. Ford model, actress, Tarantino's commercial division, stand-up comedian. I could go on. When you look back on your life, does it feel like one continuous thread or does it feel like you've lived several different lives? Each time something dramatic happens and a door closes, you can either give up at that point and go, well, that was a good run. I've had a good run. But I think partially maybe because I'm ADD-ish, the next thing would pop up, the next shiny object and I would just go there. Oh, look, a squirrel. Exactly. Squirrel. The boys used to say, we're going to wreck the car if you keep looking at roofs, mom. I would go, oh, look at that roof. Look, there's tile in California. Look at that. And they would just go, we're not safe. We're not safe. Will you take us back to the modeling days in New York and Paris? I find that just so fascinating. What was that world like as a young woman taking on those iconic cities and what did it teach you that you still carry with you today? I mean, that had to be so scary, but also so exciting at the same time. Bill, you're dumb. You have no idea what's happening. You show up in red plastic cowboy boots and a puffer coat and you think, oh, good. And people would say, you're not safe on the street, honey. You should go home. But you don't, you don't, it doesn't land anywhere on you. You're just young and experiencing life and looking at tall buildings and go like, oh, wind tunnels. And oh my gosh. Yeah. That's like me moving to New York. I felt the same with her. Like, listen, look straight ahead or people are going to take your wallet. Yes. You have to walk. I learned how to walk. You tough. In New York. Yep. Yeah, you look real tough. I'm glad to hear you say that. It's true. Ladies out there, keep your wallet inside your jacket and walk like you're crazier than they are. That's the way to do it. You know, if ever you're getting harassed by anybody, you just amp up your crazy. If you're crazier than them, they will, yeah, they will want to run away from you. If you show them just how crazy you can be. They're chickens. They're chickens. Bullies are chickens. So that's good advice, by the way. But true, I will say I had a very similar experience so I can relate to that. You're just so bright eyed and bushy tailed and you're so excited. I went to college. I moved to LA when I was 18 to go to school. My aunt lived there, so I had the last name thing going. We could go to school really inexpensive. Yes. And I remember sitting outside the first night at the pool thinking, this is amazing. I'm living with my aunt. She has a pool. I'm outside. And then I get a tap on the shoulder at dusk. I'm sorry, ma'am. You need to come inside. You should probably go inside now. And I'm like, what do you mean? My aunt lives here. This is her place. It's a condo. And all this stuff. He's like, yeah, but you're sort of in between the two biggest gangs in Los Angeles, the Crips, the Bloods. They come out at night. You might want to just go inside. And I was like, what? What are you talking about? He's going to say gang. He's going to say gang. Oh, look at the cute graffiti. Honey, that's a gang. Get inside. It's so true. When did you get inside? It's a gang. Get inside. It's so true. Rosalie, when did comedy first enter the picture for you? Was there a moment that you realized that making people laugh wasn't just something you did? It was something that you needed to do? Because you have quite a story. And you're very funny, but you also have very serious shit that happened in your life. You entertain your aunts and uncles when you're a little girl at five and you go like, I'm going to be an actress. They go, oh, can you sing and dance? And you go, no, ma'am. And they go, like, not going to happen then. They're not going to happen. And so you learn to tap dance as fast as you can to entertain them. Because I had a big brother, by the way, who was all state football, all state basketball, all state track, eight points above genius level, Olympian athlete. And then there was me. And I was like, oh, I'll just make them laugh. And that's how you find the funny in you. And then when you become a model, you know, I was raised so down to earth that people would say, Rosalyn, your daughter is so beautiful and say, oh, not like she is good. She's a good, good, good. She's good. And so you don't prize beauty. Right. You prize being a decent human being the way I was raised. So when I got presented with all of this fancy life, I was, I did not fit in at all. Many of my photographers would say, well, you're the weirdest model. I'm you are not, I don't know what's happening here, but this is not, this is not the way models act. And it was just because I came from such a solid background. So you were being respectful? Were you just, were you kind and respectful? No, I was rascal and not, not very sexual as far as, you know, there's a lot of fun and games in the industry. And I think probably the people who have more fun at it, because I was bored a lot of the time is it's quite boring. It just, hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait. And I always booked the, the wacky role. And then I, when I came back from Europe after this fancy career, I laying forward, well, first I got knocked up when I came back. And so I said, I said, she said, oh, oh, no, oh, now everybody's going to want one. Don't do that. Oh gosh. It's true. That was a great sentiment. She said that. She said, oh, you're going to keep it nice and well. Yeah. And she said, oh, no, everybody's going to want one now. And it's true. About three of her girls got knocked up that summer and she was like, you cost me all the sports illustrated covers. This is not good. Wow. That says a lot. That says a lot about the industry, doesn't it? It does. Priorities. Wow. But it was because I was so funny that I ended up saying, look, if you'll allow me to make X amount of dollars to stay in the agency, can I just go study acting? And she said, yes. And I got to study at Carnegie Hall with Bob Modica, who was the underneath Sandy Meisner was Bobby Modica. And then in LA with, I mean, just wonderful, wonderful, strong people who didn't want you to just be fluff. But I was funny. So I had a hard time finding where I belonged because I look one way. Then my mouth opens and it's all over. They go, no, not her. No, no, not her. And then I think when I got sick, that was when I could no longer just say other people's words. You know, I had the magnificent chance to be on set with Tom Selleck and Carol Burnett. I had this wonderful career, but it was saying other people's words. So still as a woman, you didn't feel heard. You work so hard. You raise your family. You're out there just tap dancing as fast as you can to pay mortgages. And still you don't have a voice, at least in my career. And when the cancer presented itself, I definitely said, this is it. I've had a good run. And then I remembered one of them had spent the night overnight in a Texas jail. And the other one was still in his early twenties. I thought, oh, maybe can't leave boys that young. They're not safe yet. You can't check out yet. They're not finished. They're frontal lobes. No. We need you. Yeah. Better stick around. And it's just the decision that everybody who's listening that has faced something that seems mortality to the forefront. They said, get my affairs in order. You have no time. We have no cure. It was at that doorstep that you have to make a decision whether you're going to stay or go because treatments are horrible. So you make that decision. But then the other side of you that's just a goof has to come into play. You have to have a sense of humor. I was a scary bald lady. I was like, I'm a pilot. I had chemo this morning and I'm flying to Denver and I'm going like, what? I'm a lizard. Oh, my gosh. I look like a lizard by the pool. Bald, scary, scaly lizard by the pool. I just know. I don't know how people do it. I don't. I admire everybody who's been through treatments that are horrible and whatever health stuff they're facing. You have to have crazy friends bringing you to the hospital. You have to have crazy friends bring you through it. And you have to make a personal decision if you're going to do it. Hell yeah. Oh, my gosh. A lot of people when they face something that serious, they just retreat. I know I did not personally myself with an illness, but when my dad was diagnosed, I mean, I'm an eternal optimist. I suspect you have some optimism in there as well. And you can't, that's something you can't, you're either born with that. Oh, there you go. Hope. It's something that you can't. But when that diagnosis came in, it was like I retreated and the whole family retreated and we all just sort of hunkered down to try to help each other through it. And you know, when I look back on it, I feel like maybe if I had handled things a little differently, it would have been a little bit better just in that comedy way and the way that I am normally. But I'm just, you know, learning through your experience. And when I read about it, it was just, you went in the entire opposite direction and you went straight towards the stage towards an audience, which is really unbelievable. What gave you the courage to do that after such a devastating diagnosis and with your entire career already on the upswing? I think that's what gives you that courage. Nothing else matters. Once you've faced stuff like you faced with your dad and I faced all this physically difficult stuff, nobody can scare me anymore. I'm not afraid as a human. I'm too old. You're not afraid of the crypts and the bloods. I am. Do you still cute? They helped me find my dog. No, I love him. No, good people, good people. Good. I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry. You're spilling your guts to me and I'm getting help. But it's catchy. It's catchy. I ran. I had a dog that got picked up by somebody and so I went and put posters and I walked into the gang places because it was like they would know. Yeah, they were holding them ransom. I was hoping that's all it was. I was ready with my money and giving my dog. It didn't happen. I'm sorry. I know. That was rough. I took it, losing her harder than my breakup. Oh my gosh. I'm a dog, man. That's who you sleep with now. Gotta get a dog. Well, they don't talk back. They just... I'd be very afraid. If they would start talking the stuff they would tell on me, it'd be bad. Well, Garmini Save Me is sort of built on the idea that humor can be really a genuine lifeline. How did it save you during the hardest moments of your health battle? Did you rely on it heavily? I did. I had shot a hefty commercial because that was what I could... I shot over 300 commercials. All the people I shot commercials with became my friends. It's a large group of people who can magically sell. It's my dad's fault because he put me on a street corner selling baby chicks when I was three at Easter time. Oh my God, that's awesome. You have to come from the country to get this stuff. One of my girlfriends from that world of commercials who's very successful came to my house and said, oh no, no, no, no. You're getting up. I couldn't walk when... It knocked me... They didn't know how to cure it, so they just kept throwing everything at me. You're very in a weakened state. She said, oh no, no, no, no. You're coming with me. She took me to an improv group. It wasn't my bag. I improvise in scripts and commercials and stuff under the lovely bubble of having a script. But as an improver, I'm busy writing stories. I'm too much in my head. Also, those people went to college. Those people draw from... Have you ever noticed an improv? They draw from all of this knowledge. They have to have bigger IQs than a standup. I swear, I swear to the Provers, much bigger IQ than we do. But I was in my kitchen two o'clock in the morning after a set and my dear friend, Jimmy Shen, was here. And he said, you know why you're miserable? And I said, why? Because I'd like to know too. And he said, because you should be doing standup, not just improv truth. And I had never in my life considered that when... Have you ever considered it? I did improv early on just to try it out. And I completely agree with you. You have to know a lot about at least something in order to improv. You have to draw. Yeah, it's hard. But I did morning radio a lot. So you had to be quick before you play the song and stuff. But I never thought about doing comedy, although I was so drawn to it. Carol Burnett being one who I'm so jealous you got to work with. Oh my God. I wanted to be her. I want to track her down now and bring her flowers. Remember me from Hawaii? You should. You should write her a letter because a friend of mine knows how important she is in my life. And on my birthday last year, an autographed picture showed up. And I was like, how did you get this? She's like, no, you can't find her. And he said, I wrote her a letter. I'm going to write a letter to her and send it to you, if I may. And then forward it to somebody. Yeah, I'll send it to my friend Scott. He has this way. And he sent her a picture and the Sharpie and the return envelopes. So she didn't have to do anything with the stamp and everything. And she did it. So yeah. Oh. Amazing, right? Yeah, such an amazing, amazing, amazing talent. I go back two o'clock in the morning and watch her old shows, watch her old performances, watch her instincts and what she wrote about, what that show wrote about, what her career was. It means so much to me because we're just out there. She was just out there and did it. Oh, ah, ah. Amazing, right? My favorite part was when she would crack up. I wanted to marry. My parents were a little concerned with me too because I wanted to marry Harvey Corman and Tim Conway. And I was like seven, you know? And I'm like, listen, that is not healthy. But they're so funny. They would cry. They would crack each other up. You wanted to marry Harvey Corman. I mean, that needs to be a T-shirt, Lynn. I wanted to marry. Like something's wrong with our daughter. She loves these guys and they could be her grandparents. Yeah, it was pretty funny. Yeah. Sorry. No, I'm so impressed that you knew him and wanted to know his name, knew it and wanted to marry. Oh my God. Someone else too, Gene Wilder. He was my, like, forget it. I was like done. I had posters of him on my wall. Absolutely. Yeah, he was one of my first loves. Absolutely. So you never considered doing comedy and then you end up on stage doing comedy. How did that connect that dot? It friends. Number one put my name in the open mic. Oh, did you know or were you in the audience just randomly? No, I had no idea. I had no idea. Wow. A friend of mine said he wanted to teach. I said, I'll support you. I went for a while. He said, no. But another friend put my name in an open mic list and I got up and here's what's wicked is I got up and they put a microphone in my hand. Danger. Okay. Exactly. That was it for me. I heard my voice amplified and had the attention of four people and I thought, you're not getting out of here until I make you laugh. And I did. Right off the bat, I bet. I realized that that was my happy place and that we are just a bunch of bozos on a bus. We are so utterly ridiculous that there would be endless amounts of material on the planet because everything that has happened has been so absurd. And I guess my favorite people in the world are people that recognize and play from the absurdity. Yeah. Ane Polar, Conan, I mean, they just play from the absurdity of life and then make a joke on top of that. And they have a way of doing it where they don't even, they don't off put anyone, they walk that line. It's so beautiful. It's like, everyone can laugh. Yes. Yeah. It's so great. I felt so guilty. We had a kid get up and he was brand new first night, but he didn't memorize his set. He read from his phone and the producer wasn't that happy. But the dark side in me, this is what's dangerous is, you know, all the stuff you're not supposed to say. Yes. But that's stuff growing up that you're not allowed to say, especially in the South. You're not, not like, well, the first thing that came to my mind, oh, he's from Oklahoma. Do we really need another Timothy McVeigh? You can't, that Rosalie, you're such a bad person. But that's, that's where my brain goes. No, but if it's funny though, really, if it's funny, it's funny. And really, you know, do you feel that people need to learn how to laugh at themselves? Like, do you feel like you're really fully, this is how I feel. I'm just curious. You're not really fully alive unless you can just relentlessly make fun of yourself. I know I don't mean over and over again, but at certain times in your life, you have to be able to laugh at yourself, right? You know what I think, Lynn? What? I'm scared. Laughing at yourself is a sign of mental health. Ooh. That should be a T-shirt. Yeah, so, you know, sometimes I talk to people and they do not agree with me. No, but if we can both laugh at something, I have a cousin that I discovered. I didn't even know him. Turns out he's a huge political person on the other side of what I believe in. And we can still make ridiculous jokes. That's the only thing that can tie us together because I disagree with his whole stance on stuff until we make jokes and we send each other jokes. That's lovely. It certainly is. You know what else is lovely? I caught a little glimpse, a teaser of your, I haven't had a chance to watch yet, but I'm really looking forward to Model Mom. Oh my gosh. Your little teaser up there I watched last night because that's about how much time I had before my eyes completely fell shut. But it's about raising two boys in LA. You're a single mom. You're chasing away drug dealers. And well, it sounds just like when we were growing up, doesn't it? It does. How much of that is in- They're not drug dealers. They're my friends. They're not dealers. They're friends. Yeah. Well, for the stage, how much is that embellished and how much of it is just like Tuesday for Rosalie? Oh, I don't know. I mean, it becomes a blur. Raising two boys. I mean, just two weeks ago, I got a phone call, Mom, I'm in the ER room in San Francisco. They said I need an emergency appendectomy and they're readying the OR room. But listen, I have to leave. I'm going to go get the dog and take him to the overnight place because I can't leave her alone in the apartment. So I'll be right back. Just wanted to let you know. Oh, what? What? This is the place where you call a friend? Have you not seen the show? Call a friend? Come make a call. What are you doing in a... He's going to die in a taxi. He's going to die in an Uber. What's happening? So they are never ending source for me. I told them I said I am so sorry, honey. That special... Model Mom is just the first five years of me writing comedy. And I needed to record it. And it's also the end of it is actually the award-winning short story that was about the Columbine Award, in which they give awards to people for not killing people. I think they should do more of that. Anyway, they gave me this award. So I recorded those first five years of jokes and the story. And I told the boys, I'm so sorry. Those first five years, the special, it's all going to be about you. I'm so sorry. And they said, oh, Mom, it's okay. If ever we do stand up, it will all be about you. Oh, Touche. It works both ways, doesn't it? Wow. I mean, were they shocked that you wanted to share their lives with strangers? I mean, that must have been crazy. I asked for permission. The very first show I did at the comedy store, I said this, you guys got to let me know if this is not what you want me to talk about. You guys just tell me, I don't have to do this. This is not necessary. This is for fun. And they went to the show and laughed. I mean, the older one actually said, that's savage, Mom. That's savage. So that's great. I got the savage. You're like cool. Yeah. No, never, never. Nope. Well, just in that moment, in that moment. But what a great thing for you to have to like, thankfully they're laughing, but you're teaching them to laugh at themselves, which is like, sounds like to be a very important. I think they taught me. They've taught me two things. Number one, how to love. That's for sure what my voice taught me. Number two, how to laugh at yourself. They're ridiculous. They're like, there's no stop button on young men. They don't have a proper stop button. Somebody needs to install that because they'll just, you know, I mean, literally they put each other in a garbage can and rolled each other down the hill. What? What? Yes, you were blessed with two, not just one, but two. I always feel a lot like there's an extra little, wow, you are superwoman when you know that you've raised just boys. Like that's, it's not easy. Just boys. And I'm blessed because my ex was married before me and had a grown daughter that I got. So now I have like the full, the full experience. That's great and help if you need it. Yeah. What? What? When did we get to borrow money from them? Wait, wait, they told me never. They said that's not happening. No, no, no, that's not going to happen. Are you kidding me? You talk about repeating by the way the same mistakes in every romantic relationship. Is comedy, would you say a way of processing that or does it just make for better stories, you know, while the pattern continues? And I also want to preface that by saying, I find myself repeating things all the time that I've already learned. And it's like, you know, I wondered if you, well, we get amnesia. We get amnesia, you know, we learn a lesson and then we go like, oh, that was then. This is different. It's not. It's, you're at a different place in the spiral, right? So you can see it from a better vantage point and maybe you get out earlier. I like that. I like that. Maybe it doesn't take you three years of a bad relationship. Maybe you're out in three months. You're growing. But yeah, I make the mistakes and when I find I have made the same damn. I'm so mad at myself. But we can only be where we're at, right? We can only be where we're at. But it just goes to show you know how much comedy can help with that. Again, laughing at yourself. It's like, wow, okay, again with this. I mean, not even just with relationships though, but mainly with relationships, whether they're, you know, romantic or even friends. And family. You know, it's hard sometimes. I also, I got to the point where alcoholism, drugs, all that kind of stuff that was so prevalent in my life growing up in the modeling world and all that. I didn't think it was anything permanent. You're just experimenting. You're just having fun. You're just exploring. But it does catch some of us. It can catch somebody. So you never want to poo poo it too much. It could be a real problem. And for me, I would pick people that were very exciting, the most generous, lovely. There's nothing better than a relationship with an alcoholic for the first year. It's everything. And then, well, I don't know. It was in New York in Paris and all that kind of stuff. And it was a long time before I figured out that there was something called Alanon, which is not alcoholic synonymous. Alanon and Alanon is for the friends and families and workers that work with people that have a real problem that's going to cause their death or lose their minds or something. It gets very dark with addiction. And so I joined Alanon and it's been 36 years being with people. My sponsor is 94 years old. I'm getting the benefit of, you know, unfortunately, I've lost my parents. So I get the benefit of these wonderful people with all this life experience that I get the benefit of. So before I do something stupid now, I have somebody to call first. What I like to do is do something stupid and then just call to report it. That would be easy, right? You'd feel so much better. She says I need to call her. She says I need to call her before I do the stupid thing. So you know, hopefully hand things off before I do something too bad. Rosalie, you're so smart though to do that. I mean, I had a hunch getting in the industry that I was going to be dealing with a lot of interesting personalities. And I took abnormal psychology as a minor when I was in class. I like to say in class. I really didn't want to pay attention. I was daydreaming about radio and television and comedy and all that. But when I was there, I thought maybe I might need to learn how to deal with people. I don't know if it was my parents who suggested it or me, but boy, did it help. Like what you're saying, you know, having understanding or at least a minor amount of understanding about human nature. Yeah, because it's really difficult navigating out there in the world without. And the patience and the kindness and the grace that you need to allow people to be where they are in their journey. You know, nobody's bait. Nobody's finished. Well, a lot of people are baked, but. Yeah, especially today. Nobody's out of the oven. I don't mean here. Oh, sorry. This is not going well. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, are you? Because I'm not. No. Are you? I understand what you mean. Oh, holy baked. Stick a fork in it. Yeah, because it's OK to love who you want to love and like the people that we're attracted to you've been in the industry the same as me. We are around magnificent creatives and I wouldn't trade that for anything. And, you know, what I've learned most of all, oh, this touches me so much. From my outrageous creative madmen friends is they accept people as they are. They are not judgmental. And that is something I could use some some guidance in in sticking to not judging a person, not judging myself. Let it be. Let it be. Let let there be peace and acceptance of people as they are where they are today. Makes it a much kinder relationship that I'm going to have with anybody. Wow, that's so true. That is I have the exact opposite problem because when you do meet people where they are, sometimes you open yourself up to things that happen to you that you have to pull back from. So it's almost like it's good that you have that little, you know, protecting zone there for you to figure it out first. Nothing. I figured nothing out and I know nothing. So it's well, hindsight's always 2020. But then again, like we talked about earlier, we keep repeating the same mistakes and thinking there's going to be a different outcome. I'm a better from a higher place on the stairs, though. That's right. That's right. Looking down 30,000 feet. Do you Rosalie, you've been doing stand up weekly, which is like amazing to me. Like I just love that you do this and you've been doing it at major clubs around Los Angeles. What what is a great night on the stage feel like? And what does a rough night feel like and teach you? Oh, wow. My favorite nights are where. You bring the audience up from whatever they may be experiencing either from the outside world or it's just a raunchy night and you can tell that they're not quite with it and all that kind of stuff. The hardest nights are when they're so drunk that they can't follow that evening. But both are challenges that are fun because the first one I get to try some some. Some jokes that we'll see where they are and then throw in, you know, lean into the material that I can see that is is getting them to smile and laugh and enjoy themselves. Because that's what you want. You want them to leave feeling great about themselves, great about the club, you know, just all of it so everybody can keep doing this art form because I believe stand up is today's poetry. Right. Oh, yes. My opinion of it. But when when everybody's too drunk to really enjoy, there's a couple of things. I can I can really rail on somebody pretty hard that's drunk and at least the rest of the audience is enjoying. And you hope that they don't come up at three. Poke in the nose. But I watched the great Greg Wilson. Greg Wilson. I watched him deal with a whole table of drunks. And what he got out of them was that it was somebody's birthday. And even though they had been mean to all the previous comedians, once he got that out of them, that that's what their deal was. Everybody could enjoy their drunkenness, his interactions with them, their jokes about the whole situation changed the entire room. I've never forgotten that. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it was lovely. So somebody's always got a story. There was a drink at the Hollywood Roosevelt. It was so much fun. He he had sat unbeknownst to any of us next to one of my best friends who had come out. And my best friend had said, I'm going to sit in the middle where it's darker so that you can't see me and make fun of me, Rosalie. And I said, OK, all right, sit there. And who does she sit next to? The drunk of the night. Oh, so of course I talked to both of them the whole time. And it was a blast. It's on my it's on my website. It's the Hollywood Roosevelt. I think two thousand twenty four on my website, Rosalie, my you dot com. It has a few of my sets and I and also the links to the special model mom. We'll be right back with more of the comedy, save me podcast. No gloss, no filter, just stories spoken without fear. Addiction is a disease and it should be looked upon as any other disease. How did you cope with a reckless father like me? Join me, Pooja Bhatt, as I sit down every week with directors, actors, musicians, technicians and beyond. You don't need to work with the biggest people in the biggest sound to have great music. I have gone through this subsidy. The rich, the pinnacle stung by the snake and I've fallen down again. Yeah, I am not writing actively anymore. And when I see my old work, it kind of saddens me. I'm only as good as the last shot that I gave. Mom's gone, but don't shut the theater. The show must go on. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhatt show on the I heart radio app Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty. Stay for the fire. Welcome back to the comedy, save me podcast. You've won quite a few awards. And I know it's, I don't, you're the type of person probably like not all self serving and all about that stuff. But I'd like to point it out because it's validation in some aspects. I understand the industry and how all of these awards really come about. I won't discuss it. But ultimately, there is a lot of love that goes into it. And it's validation that you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. What did that mean to you? And especially coming from comedy later. I mean, like this wasn't even your lane. You were modeling and acting. And all of a sudden there you are making people laugh. I think at the heart of it, because I believe that comedy is a version of poetry, kind of like from the beatnik days. And Kurt Vonnegut back in the day, that was called poetry. And I think today we call it stand up comedy, but it is writing the truth of your experience. And when you get an award for something you've written, I've gotten standing ovations for acting that meant everything at the time that was the pinnacle of success was a live standing ovation meant everything to me. But to get it for something I've written, it's just so lovely because you can't hide when you're writing. I don't know, maybe sci-fi and fiction writers can. I can't seem to. In my short stories, I can't lie. It just comes out. It's like this private journaling almost that spills out on the page. The Columbine Award was so important because we had just gone through the murders at Columbine. And this particular film festival was in Colorado. The people that had done a lot of charity work around the tragedy were at the festival and gave an award for something. The award was for nonviolent conflict resolution. And from that, I was able to talk a kid down on my block with a knife. Who was a little boy that was being bullied and he didn't know how to handle it. From that, so many good things have happened. The story of Poyote Nights, the short story that's at the end of my model mom comedy special. I just tell that story that happened is so important for kids because I, you know, kids want us to know what's going on. They are very impressed by the dangerous things that they face every day of school, but they can't always be the ones who tell us. Right. And so I wanted something that acknowledged what kids face every day that a parent is never going to know. You can't break through, especially when they're boys and you're a female on you. You are never going to compete with a blow job as a mom. You're not. You're not going to compete with weed and a cucumber. You're not going to compete. There's absolutely nothing that you can say as a mother that's going to get them off the set. No, no, you're not going to win that argument. No, you're fired at that point as a manager. You're fired as a manager. They're climbing out the window. The girls are climbing in. And to be able to, you know, to tell that story meant everything and then have people laugh, but get the seriousness of it and how brave you have to be as a parent. You have to be so frigging strong as a parent. Why do I have to be strong? I didn't want to be strong. I thought it was just going to be, I had you to have a good life. I don't know. I didn't know what I was doing. So to get an award for that, I wanted to take it to the boys and go, see, do you see this? Do you see what your mother had to put up with? Do you see this? Oh my God. This is your mother. You have TikTok. You have YouTube, a series on YouTube and a comedy special. And did I miss anything? Some live shows all over the country and around the world. It's so much fun. I mean, I went to Spain for a friend's daughter's wedding and I got to do comedy in a bar and there was a lion tamer in the audience. We lead the best life, Lynn. What? You and the lion tamer? No, you and me. You and me. Oh, yes, yes. Definitely. Do you manage each site differently in terms of what you put on there? Well, what I like about YouTube and comedy dynamics is the distributor for Model Mom. They took clips of my special and put it on YouTube and Instagram and Facebook and all that. And I was so grateful they could do it. I'm a terrible editor. So I was so grateful they took me on for my first special. It was all through. I got introduced by a brilliant woman named Melanie Desi, who started her own company called Promotional Rescue. And it's to help numskulls who are terrible at social media rescue their careers from the botched, you know, posts we tend to make because we think we're being very clever in showing like not professional. Not professional. So with all of these people helping me, one of my favorite things, there's two things that are my favorite on YouTube that I did before. I knew I was going to even stick with this comedy girls road trip was my mom and dad had passed away and they told me we were going to have to sell the house. And we had someone interested. You're going to have to come here and close it up. And the only thing I wanted that was left because we had already done that. But the only thing I wanted that was left was dad's goose. And somebody said, a goose, you're going to go to Louisiana for goose. And I said, no, it's a cement goose. And he used to talk to it in the backyard. And mom said, they're going to think you crazily. Don't do that. Don't stop talking to the goose. So I wanted to go get the goose. And the first female door guy at the comedy store was a girl named Jessica Wellington. And I told her I was going to have to drive to Louisiana by myself. And she said, oh, I'll go with you. We can do comedy along the way. What a lovely thing. And so I taped it on my iPhone 4. And it's a serious. You had to leave me iPhone 4. Because it wasn't technically as amazing as the iPhone 41 right now. Right. Oh my God. Right. And listen, I sold it. I sold the series to the producer of Honey Boo Boo. And then they pulled it because COVID hit. Oh, shut up. They said we can't do travel shows. So anybody out there interested in comedy girls' road trip, we have it. It's ready to go. Oh, yes. Are you kidding me? You're going to have a taker. I guarantee you after this airs. That's amazing. You have the forethought to do that, though, to tape yourselves? It's ridiculous. We were. I took her out to dinner at Denny's to try to whine and dine her to say, will you really go with me? And we really will call clubs along the way and see if we can get up. Well, did you get her the grand slam breakfast because that would have. Yeah, we did. We did. We did a Denny's tour. We did. That's great. They needed that, though, at Denny's. You know, they do. They won't let me advertise for them. I don't know why I'm so I'm so interesting. Oh, my gosh, you're amazing. You're such a breath of fresh air. I mean, you would never know what you've gone through, but I I do feel like kindred spirit in a way because you just you just never know with people what they're living, what their lives are. And then when you see somebody like you, who's just turning every all the lemons into lemonade and and pushing forward, it gives me hope and me inspiration and hopefully everyone listening to keep pushing forward in their life because what would you give for for advice for an aspiring creative, whether it was comedy or or or anything creative in their life? What would you say if they were in a situation where life has thrown them a lemon? I I'm a firm believer in going to bed. Just go to bed. Just give up. Oh, shut the light out and let it be. Just go to bed, go to bed. And when you can finally rouse yourself, call a friend. That's good advice. This friend was Melanie Vessey, that promotional rescue person, genius woman. And I said, I can't even get people to come to the clubs. I can't. I don't know what to do. I should quit. It's been five years. I should quit. And now it's been 10, right? But that day she said, where's your special? I said, what? She wears your special. That's how people will get to know you. And I went back to bed and I went to bed for three days. I couldn't imagine she was right. I couldn't even think I had a special already. I couldn't even think about it. And it took me another three years to finish writing what I wanted to say and two years to film it and edit it and and sell it to Comedy Dynamics. It takes a long time for people like me who are new to it. But the best advice is give yourself time, downtime. Go to bed, go to the beach, hang out with your friends. Give yourself a break so that your natural talent, your great disappointment in humanity, your great sadness over the shape of her can bubble up until you can't not talk about it. And then you've got something to say that people will love you for because we're all feeling it. Great advice, great wisdom from 30,000 feet up. And so important to hear. I would have never thought of taking a break because you get so inside your head. You just you're just you're your own worst enemy. You get in the way of your own success and you hold yourself back because you have too much time to just barrage yourself with all the wrong stuff. So what you're saying is change the channel for a minute. Go do something else, get your mind off of all of that. And you will have clarity. That's really good advice. I haven't been to a beach in like 20 years. Maybe that's my problem. Right. Right. It takes the time out of the the treadmill that people like you. Gosh, your whole work ethic is so strong that it seems wrong to go to the beach. If that makes sense, I feel guilty. Yeah. Yeah. People are scared. They're told, you know, well, if you leave, your job won't be here when you get back. Someone else will get it. Someone's going to be better. And so you just, you know, especially when you work for yourself. Eileen Ford told me, don't hang on too long. Don't hang on to something. Let somebody else get your job. Fine. Who cares? You're going to write a movie. You're going to go to the moon, whatever. Oh, I love Eileen. Oh, yeah. You don't need to hang on to anything that was a success that is successful. You don't need to hang on to that because the only thing you ever have is you. You're still there. They can't take anything away. They can't give you anything. It doesn't. That's not how it works. But I only know that because I'm mentally ill. No, I'm not. All just a little bit. Just a little bit. Come on now. Because, you know, because I had that that terrible break. It's like I've lived, you know, two distinct parts. The people pleaser, you know, kid to the adult with an adult soul with soul desires, you know, it's all different now. It's really different. Nobody can hurt you. Nobody can take anything away from you. It's not possible. What an incredible role model you are to not just for your sons, but for, you know, speaking this right now, because, you know, sometimes people need to hear that. And that's all it is. It's like this light goes off and you're like, oh, yeah, I don't remember when it was it was I was with a man that I thought I was going to marry. And I was so gung-ho about my career. And I remember, I don't know what came over me, but one day I realized, well, if I don't, if I don't go off and do what I love, I'm going to regret it and make him regret that I didn't. And I got, I put my big girl panties on and I went up to him and I said, I love you. I, but if I don't do this and give it 110 percent, I won't be able to be here for like, I, I'll, I'll always regret it. And I hope you won't hate me forever. But I, and then I realized that day, you can change your life. You can change your life on a dime if you choose to do it and then follow through with it. And that's so scary to everybody, including myself at the time, but you have to do it and then be successful and realize, okay, we can jump off a cliff and we'll land in the water and then we'll float back up and we'll make something else. Yeah. That's all. I mean, you know, when you listen to those motivational things from millionaires and how to, whatever finances and stuff, they always say you can't keep a millionaire down because a millionaire knows how to make a million. So you lose a million. And I mean, I, I, I wish that applied to men. Uh, I, I, I, well, we can dream, but I do feel that I wasn't, and it's not a good enough person, but I wasn't grounded enough to be able to maintain who I am in a close relationship. And I think also I wasn't so concerned with picking a really good person as I was with becoming a good person myself. And so I, it never occurred to me. I'm not a great conclusion drawer. Apparently I don't, you know, I'm a great observationalist because I can see things and react to them on a stage and in front of a camera, a lens is my favorite relationship. But I don't know how to draw the conclusion. Therefore, this person might not be a good person at this point in his life. And so step away. I, I didn't have the confidence in myself that you need to be with somebody who's working on their selves themselves. Oh, I don't know English anymore. Okay, whatever. I know exactly what you meant. No, no, you're right. You're right. That thought is keep finished that thought. Cause that's amazing. Right. What you're saying. Somebody who just, who has decided to be a good dude. That's all. You know, the no asshole rule. Yeah. Oh, wait, what's that? I feel a punchline coming. There's a great show, comedy show, and it says no assholes. That's all we have. Don't be an assholes. Just don't be an asshole. Don't take care of themselves. They need to be taking care of me. No, wait, wait, forget about yourself. It's all about me. Forget about yourself. This is all about me. You need to lose weight so that I don't have to take care of you in your old age. So dammit. Yes. It's selfish. I'm selfish, but healthfully selfish. Healthfully is the most important thing. If you don't have health, you have nothing. So everything and all the great advice you just heard from Rosalie. Also remember that health is paramount, as you know, very intimate. Go get checked, ladies. Go get checked, gentlemen. Hey, I'll tell you a cancer joke. Okay. I've never had anyone say that to me before, but yes, please. Here's one. Here's one. Let me see if I can, if I can, if I can do this. They, they, they told me that, uh, get my affairs in order. You won't have any time. There's no known cure. There's no known cause for the kind of cancer you have. Triple negative breast cancer. I said, oh, that's so negative. If it's a triple negative breast cancer. And then I was watching the tick tock, Lynn. I was watching the tick tock at the end of 2023. They were celebrating the dawn of 2024 and there was a dancing doctor. We all need dancing doctors. Don't we on tick tock dancing doctor video. But as he pointed in his dance routine, there were bubbles that would pop up. And in the bubble, I'm going to cry. It said, these are the cancers we solved. And it did one and it did the two and the three and the four and the five. And it got to mine. And so the next day I call the hospital, all my doctors are at St. John's and I said, is this true? Was triple negative breast cancer solved this year? And they said, well, we have discovered the protein that caused it. So now we know how to address it. And I said, well, what is it? And they said, it's the same protein that causes testicular cancer. And I thought, oh, I always knew I had balls. Oh, my God. Now, is this whole thing you're going to cry just to get here? You're you're amazing. Oh, my God, I love you so much. And I just met you. Rosalie, wow, wow. And soon after, obviously, you got some treatment and you are doing. You're on the upswing. How are you? I was diagnosed in 2013. So this is 10 years later, they made the discovery. So they cured mine by growing everything they had at it and got lucky. Geez. And cured me. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. But for them to now know the cause of it, they can do all the gene work to solve it a lot easier than throwing. Because, I mean, the stuff they threw at me was like for a six foot five, three hundred and fifty pound man, they just had to they had no choice. Poor thing. It was rough. It was rough. But I want to have you. They have to kill pretty much like. Yeah, they have to kill all the cells in your body to get rid of it. And somehow you have to survive that. Yes, it's unbelievable. Oh, wow. And like 10 years is huge because usually five years, interestingly enough, they say that about addiction as well, five years. And they also said that about like cancer as well. So you beat the odds in both. That's amazing. You're you're an amazing person. Wow. What a life. I mean, a light and a life. I'm going to end this with we always end sort of the same way. Well, at least I'm trying to say that now because I'd like to. But here it is. What is the moment or the memory or the piece of comedy or something that you saw or heard or maybe even you created yourself that reached in your soul and genuinely saved you? I was having a rough night at the comedy store. I followed a mega star. Who happened to be a very blue comic. Very dirty, dirty, dirty stuff. And I walked out to do my set after that and told mom jokes. It was a massive fail. And I got so angry at myself. But the next week, the comedy store put me in the exact same place. Right after this mega star. Telling all the dirty, dirty, dirty jokes. And I walked out and said, put your dicks away. Your mother is here. And that's when I knew I had what it takes to command a stage to reset the room and let's go. Wow. By the way, I think that was in your promo because I I spit out my drink. Yeah, that was my big revelation that this was going to be something that I could be my true self doing, which doesn't everybody need that and want that to be able to be yourself. Oh, hell, yeah. Like you give everyone who's around you permission to be themselves. So, you know, I feel looser than I've ever felt before, you know, like almost off my game a little bit, you know, you started going into like a southern accent when you were talking earlier. And sometimes that happens to me too. But I would never tell that to anyone. And you brought it out on me. Rosalie, my you, you are amazing. And we have your model, mom, go check that out on it's on YouTube. But it's also I saw on my television set. Where did I find you? Yeah, it's on Apple TV. It's on. That's it. Yeah, it's it's all over all the places that you can stream television shows. It's on Sirius XM. She's so funny. I is that the name of the channel on Sirius XM? And we did satellite radio stuff. So it's out there. And thankfully, it's available for people to see now. I can't wait to get feedback. Yeah. I can't wait. Model, mom, you are the best. And I'm so grateful to meet you and know you. And I hope you come back again and visit us here and just tell us some more of your journey because I there's just so much more you have left to give and leave on this planet. So I'm so grateful for that. Oh, it's Lynn. It is just an honor me to I'm very, very lucky. I'm Buzz Knight and thanks for listening to Comedy Save Me with Lynn Hoffman. And do check out our other podcast, Lynn Hoffman's Music Save Me podcast. Also, Sarah Harrelson and Taken a Walk Nashville. And don't forget also about Taken a Walk hosted by yours truly. All shows are available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and are part of the I Heart podcast network. No gloss, no filter, just stories, spoken without fear. For a son who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhachow on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty. Stay for the fire. This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human.