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Brian runs over and lifts the barbell. The client gasps for air. Kayla squints at cameraman Sam. What's your name? Brian pulls Kayla from the conversation. Cameraman Sam takes the opportunity to escape. First to Kayla, you're crying almost dead, you dim. I think I knew that camera guy. No, no, no, no. Great, great focus. Just focus. Okay. We need this commercial. We gotta bring in some fresh meat. I am tired of working at the old folks' camp. I'm not taking a piece. Interior Smoothie Area Day. The camera catches Valerie gazing at a giant bulletin board of old photos. Cameraman Sam pipes up from behind the camera. Old employees? Oh, yeah. And, um, famous clients? Yeah, this is where Johnny Cash brought his ostriches. And, um, I don't mean to brag, but big boy from out past. Got his owls here. Valerie points out photos. The camera zooms in on a different one. A man with a tall cowboy hat. His face etched out. Who's that in the cowboy hat? Valerie rips down the photo and glares at the camera. We don't talk about Gary. Interior Treadmill Area Day. Brian sees Kayla sneaking a photo of Cameraman Sam with her phone. But if she's there, where's... He notices client Carl and 80s fit, nosy, speed walking to Valerie. Brian intercepts and redirects him to a treadmill. Hi, hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey. Uh, can I help you, sir? I heard that Johnny is out. I wanted to ask Valerie about group fitness. No, no, no, no, no. I'm teaching the fitness class. I'm teaching group fitness. Is Reggie coming back? Uh, Reggie. Interior Smoothie Area Day. Chris and Mary, 60s to 70s, spunky, bejaded, watch Valerie press buttons on a high-tech blender. Nothing happens. What do you mean the blender won't run without Wi-Fi? Well, Valerie, you're the one who bought it. All new tech, this, up to cold, that. Just, she won't even let me put a fucking cocaine mix in the movies anymore. I mean, that was a real fucking energy drink. Am I right? Am I... Oh, so the Wi-Fi is out, not the POS? Uh, Alexa will fix this, okay. Okay. Mary pulls out an ancient blender and hugs it to her ample bosom like a lever. Oh, you're a great sexy fucking beast. It's a reliable Hawaiian mission. Interior Server Room Day. Wade crawls through a jungle of dusty cables and plugs... Wade crawls through a jungle of dusty cables and plugs his laptop into the server. He sees some papers jammed in the rack. They're envelopes. Invoice, urgent, overdue. Sexy techie, you're terminally online. Who is this? Wade hides the envelopes in his bag as Kayla barges in with her phone. He examines the shoddy picture of cameraman Sam. Uh, no idea, but with a better photo, you could like put it into reverse Google image search and then you could... No, never mind. What's the server password? Interior Treadmill Area Day. Brian hovers around Clang Carlin on the treadmill. The best part of group fitness is happy baby. Reggie loves happy baby. Um, what's happy baby now? Kayla shows up. Wade in tow. What's the server password? I don't know. Check the front desk. She ups the incline and speed on Carlin's treadmill. Carlin, good job today. This is your final push. I'll be right back. Wait, can we turn on the TV? But the group keep walking. Interior Smoothie Area Slash Treadmill Area Intercuts. Valerie blends strawberries and milk. Mom, look, check things all the boys to the yard in their life. It's better than yours, I teach. I'm lactose intolerant. But Valerie's distracted. But Valerie's distracted. She sees Carlin across the room struggling to keep pace. He reaches up to turn the TV on. Carlin stumbles, then scrambles. Brian and Kayla whip around to see Carlin on the floor. Hold up one second. Can we from Chris's line, I'm lactose intolerant. Start there. I'm lactose intolerant. But Valerie is distracted. She sees Carlin across the room struggling to keep pace. He reaches up to turn the TV on. Carlin stumbles, then scrambles. Brian and Kayla whip around to see Carlin on the floor. Valerie abandons the smoothie and starts across the room. Brian and Kayla rush back to him. Kayla offers a hand. I'm fine, I'm fine. Back in my day, there were no treadmills. If you fell outside, you got asphalt in your hands. I haven't felt this good since the war. Thanks, little lady. Carlin shakes Kayla's hand, then winks at Brian. I'll see you in Reggie later. Valerie shakes her head and returns to her smoothie. Interior front desk, moments later. Kayla, Brian, and Alexa rummage through drawers. Wade waits. Suddenly a loud groan. And dry heaving from across the room. Brian looks up to see Chris sprinting. Hands over his mouth. Bomb it. Drips through his fingers. Valerie rushes behind him. No, abort, abort, abort, abort. Cool to pregnant. Brian ducks behind the desk. Kayla and Wade follow. Brian pulls Alexa down as Valerie sprints after Chris. No, no, not the employee bathroom. Look, I had my first kiss in there. Oh, me too. Brian gets an idea. He turns to Wade. I'm going to ask the old timers. Brian and Wade creep around the desk secret agent style. Interior sauna day. Jim, 50s, eats, breathes, and shits crystals, sits in full lotus. Anya plays. Brian clears his throat. No answer. Wade, this is Gemini. Gemini? That's this month's happy birthday. No, yo, man. I'm a Sagittarius. Jim, do you know the server password? No, my brother, no. But I can text the key. But you can text in jail? Wade escapes the hot steam. Brian hesitates at the door. Do you know what happy baby is? What? Jim's eyes snap open. Cosmic. I created group fitness. Interior pool room day. Kayla and the commercial crew follow Valerie into the pool. Okay, so what we're going to do in here is we're going to start. What the hell is Gem? He has one job. Wade shuffles into the pool room. Uh, um, excuse me, ma'am. No, no, no, no. Valerie whips around and notes his outfit. She sizes him up. Listen to me. We are not selling this property, okay? Not for a million, not for a dime. So just scram. And I don't care. Listen, I do not care if your company sent their cutest agent to come in here and flirt me up, all right? Because you can be hot, you can be nerdy, all you want. But my Anaconda don't want none of your real estate funds, hun. Wide-eyed, Wade dashes out. He needs you to fix the Wi-Fi. Valerie turns beat red. End of act two. Here we go. Act three. Interior front desk day. Alexa answers the phone. There's a muffled announcement from the other line. This is a call from the Metropolitan Correction Center. Mr. King? Yes, I can write it down. Swall... Toon? Yeah. Valerie rushes the front desk and hangs up the phone. Hey, you cannot call prison on a company line. They're going to think we're still in curfews. Did Nell mention me? Tap, tap, tap. It's Wade outside the glass doors. He waves. Valerie gestures a man, then turns on Alexa. You can't be IT guys next door. I said to call the Wi-Fi company. Brian knew you were stressed with the commercial, so he told me to cry and... Interior secret fitness room day. Heavenly harp sing as Jim guides Brian into... Heavenly harp sing as Brian guides... Heavenly harp sing as Jim guides Brian into happy baby pose. Yeah. Dude! Let all your worries out on the exhale, like this. My rake instructor screw-in-the-x-fine! But that's okay. Hey, let me get an exhale from everyone. Ahhhhh. You're not gonna cook. Ahhhhh. Ahhhhh. I don't want to be Leo. I deserve to float. I want to work at Solstice. Just roll! Forward to the universe! There we go! Interior pool room day. Chris, Kayla, and Alexa perch on a poolside bench. The commercial crew loiter as Valerie smashes buttons. Why would they even make a Wi-Fi controlled pool eater? Out of the air shot, first AC turns to cameraman Sam. Oh, so, hey, hi. Yeah, um, who are you? Yeah, I'm just a part of the crew. The commercial crew glances at each other. No, you're not. I mean, they hired me for some additional behind the scenes BTS. Yeah. First AC nods, suspicious. Back at the ranch. Okay, cold water? Never killed anybody. I've been with penguins, all right? Chris, he points to the side. Persons with diarrhea shall not enter the pool. Grumble, he runs to the locker room. Okay, Kayla. Mascara. Valerie turns to her last resort. Our resident actress. It is your moment of glory. Alexa looks at the camera and forces a smile. Interior secret fitness room day. Wind chimes twinkle. Jim claps a hand on Brian's back. Man, I'm proud. I'm so proud. It's, it's Brian. Exactly. Jim clients 50s at 80s, file in. Client Carlin turns to Brian. Oh, no Reggie. Brian looks for Jim, but he's disappeared in the smoke. Oh, I guess Reggie didn't sign up. Interior pool room day. Commercial crew rolls. Alexa stands on the diving board. Kayla snaps a photo of sec. Kayla snaps a photo of cameraman Sam and uploads to Google. Are we getting reverb? You want me closer? If I get closer, I'm gonna blow up. It's gonna get worse. Okay. It's time for the interior pool room. You got it. Here we go. Interior pool room day. Commercial crew rolls. Alexa stands on the diving board. Kayla snaps a photo of cameraman Sam and uploads to Google. She lifts her phone in the air for service. Ah, stupid Wi-Fi. Valerie shouts to Alexa. Okay, as Van Halen would say, go ahead and jump. Alexa crits her teeth, jump, and starts to drown. Between mouthfuls of water. Valerie jumps in. The camera zooms in as Val rescues Alexa. But Kayla shoves her phone's Google resorts. Resorts. Woo! Valerie jumps in. The camera zooms in as Val rescues Alexa. But Kayla shoves her phone's Google results into frame. That's how I know you. You're from FailFinders, a YouTube channel that makes documentaries on failing businesses. You're just here to get footage for your stupid show. Give me that. Kayla bum rushes the camera, trying to grab it. Cameraman Sam runs as Valerie pulls Alexa out of the water. Yo, I better not see you here again, or I'm gonna call the police. Interior secret fitness room day. Everyone rolls around in happy baby pose. And on the accent, you let me all out. Brian hits the gong. Jim plans grown and been their frustrations, rolling around. Someone farts. Brian smiles. Behind a curtain, Jim turns to cameraman Sam. Yo, yo, brother. G-Y-M. What does it mean, man? It means everything to me, man. I have everything. Interior front desk day. Alexa shivers an oversized vomit green G-Y-M shirt. Kayla hands Alexa her purse and smooths her hair. I got the front desk to go home. Alexa waddles toward the door. Alexa waddles toward the door. Kayla grimaces at the wet spot in the chair and pointedly pulls up another. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Can you grab my phone? Kayla hands the phone over as Alexa leaves. Wade approaches. Um, where's your router? Server says it's disconnected. Under the desk. She moves aside conceding her flirtatious act. Wade traces the Wi-Fi cable to the power strip. It's unplugged. In its place, Alexa's charger. He sighs. He smacks his head on the desk as he comes up. Oh. He hands Kayla the charger, then refreshes the computer. Bingo. That was it. You should go tell the boss, lady. Wade heads to the pool as Brian brings Karlin and other gym clients to the front desk. No, no, no, don't forget your membership form. You can't get crew fitness at Solstice. Happy baby. Am I right? They cheer. A few grab forms. Brian turns to Kayla. Hey, how's the commercial? She gestures to the pool room. Through the window, Valerie slouches poolside, still fully clothed and sopping wet. That bad, huh? With no idea. Brian settles into a chair, then jumps up. Why is it wet? Kayla watches Wade approach Valerie and sit next to her. Oh, interior pool room day. Everything is fixed. You're good. I am so sorry. I said you're good. They look at each other. Wade pulls letters out of his bag. I thought you might want these. Ah, I wouldn't say want. Yeah. But thanks. Yeah. Interior pool locker room, same time. Chris slumps next to a toilet. From the other room, Valerie's words echo through the tiled bathroom walls. I put all my money into this place. Honestly, I don't know how much longer I can keep this open. Hearing this, Chris looks sadly at his vomit. Interior pool room day. I feel like Radiohead. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here. Yeah, well, you know, like, everybody hurts sometimes. R-E-M. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, listen, you could appeal the foreclosure notice. Did that from my mom. Anyway, I bought her a few months to get the money together, and, you know, maybe you can pay me with a free membership. He offers her the letters. Valerie looks up hopeful. They smile and hold the envelopes between them a little too long. Oh. I think we can manage that. Interior front desk day. Kayla sees cameraman Sam filming through the indoor window. No, you don't do a little rat. Valerie pops out of the pool room. Kayla, it's all right. It's all right. Valerie squares up with cameraman Sam. Hey. Hey, look at me. You know what? You can keep the footage. In fact, you know what? I'm gonna pay you to come film. Every single day. The GYM is going to be the first success on that little show of yours, because we are not going to fail, okay? She smiles at Wade. One more time. She smiles at Wade. He nods. Can you do the line before so there's no overlap? Read her in. Oh, Allison. We can't hear you. What? I just need you to read in your line. Oh, the whole thing. Yes. Okay. You know what? You can keep your footage. In fact, I'll pay you to come film. Every single day. The GYM is going to be the first success on that little show of yours, because we're not going to fail, buddy. She smiles at Wade. He nods, unsure. Kayla turns to camera. You wanted to know what GYM means? That's your man. Yeah, girl. Pre-lap. Pre-lap. Pop commercial music starts playing. The GYM isn't just a place. It's the place. Fade to Interior various GYM locations day. Commercial montage. Alexa chats with clients at the front desk. Hey, girl. Kayla turns up the treadmill for client Karlin. Brian does happy baby with Jim. Chris takes a smoothie from Mary. Looking good. It's a community. A culture. A lifestyle. It's home. Kayla poses in her at Kayla karma shirt. Chris drinks the smoothie about the pearl. It's a place to grow your mind. Brian barely keeps up with clap push-ups. Get your muscles. Smash cuts. Chris, Kayla, Brian. Gains. Yoga. Mindfulness. Alexa jumps into the pool. Johnny sits on the bike. We cut a second too late, and he grimaces as he smashes his ball. GYM is personal. You decide what it stands for. Gross. Yellow. Machines. The shots show the full scope of the rundown place. Interior front desk day. Valerie, Alexa, Kayla, Chris, and Brian crowd around the TV above the front desk as the commercial plays live. The GYM. You know what it means. Call us at five- The TV cuts to a different ad spot. Alexa, applaud. Kayla and Brian share a look. Valerie turns to her friends. You know what? All things considered, I think it went pretty well. You might even say that we're stronger than yesterday. End of act three. Yeah. Nice. So the tag. And we have a tag. Interior, exterior, cycling studio night. Camera watches through the window as Valerie addresses Alexa. Kayla and Chris, as Brian tries to fix the broken handlebar. Okay, from here on out, we have to be on our A game. We can't let them see any mistakes, no more secrets. We are all in this together. GYM on three. Alexa puts her hand in the center for another cheer. Well, how are you? How are you going to pay the camera guy? We have like zero clients. Reggie, a handsome, humbled penguin in a bow tie, waddles into the room. Jim follows with a bucket full of fish. Reggie, bro, get back here. You don't know what we- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This. I told you, no more penguins. We cut to an exterior shot of the GYM from afar. The only light comes from that cycling studio window. Zoom out to interior solstice office continuous. Camera pans to reveal Gary Hughes, 50s, clever, gay, Southern silver fox, in solstice swag and a tall cowboy hat. The man from the photo. He washes super nocturals and cackles. And they said y'all could come by anytime. Well, ain't that a peach? Guess I'll need to hire you for longer than I expected. The end. We can get the 1, 2, 3, bro. Hey, real quick, real quick, we forgot to do something that we always do. I'm going to say 1, 2, 3, and then you all explain table read. The GYM. Are you ready? Okay. 1, 2, 3. Say it for me. It says GYM. Thank you. So thank you guys for being here. That's so special. Thank you guys. We have people who can record a PSA or best friends. You have that PSA right here, honey? Yes. Great. So we'll just take that down real quick and we are golden. Best Friends Animal Society is dedicated to saving the lives of cats and dogs and shelters and bringing no kill to every community in the country. All pets deserve to know love, care, and companionship, and each one deserves a chance to find a family of their very own. So Best Friends works with local shelters nationwide to create programs to help pets get adopted and keep them from entering shelters in the first place. Working together, we can save them all. Join us. Visit bestfriends.org for information. Yeah. Thank you.
