Caitie Delaney Slept in a Coffin

This is a headgum podcast. Yeah, there was nowhere to bring that. I don't know where I would have reported such a thing. Yeah. And also like unpaid internships, are those not a thing anywhere? I'm sure they are, but I don't think I could get away with having an unpaid intern. Yeah, people would come after you. I've looked into it. I think you know that you and I would have, and I know I say this to a lot of women and it's like a theme of the show, but you and I would have a beautiful life together. I didn't know that was the theme of the show. I do, I say it a lot. We do have a beautiful life together. You and I specifically, I think I would have different beautiful lives with other women, but you and I, our beautiful life is like we live in a cottage. Our house would be amazing. We're always wearing like, you know those sweaters that have like the really thick collar, the like, the cardigans with the really big collar. The wooden buttons. Yes. We're both wearing those and like wearing our glasses like this and being like, did you read that? On the porch. Did you read that? Did you hear about Taylor Swift? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're like going over the news of the day, drinking tea and slippers. It would be really gorgeous. So cute. We have 10 dogs running around. Where do we live? Where is it? I think like probably East Coast. Yeah. Like because this is like settled down vibes, you and I are probably like. This is later in life. Yeah. And this, in this life, you and I, I mean, I'm trying to get you to Kansas City of course in real life, but in this life, we live on like a coastal town in Maine or something. Martha Spineard. We eat lobsters. Fresh. London. London. Love. We did live there together. We lived there for three weeks. Yeah. That's living together. I don't know if I ever told on this story the way that that Airbnb host tried to scam us. Oh my God. And I got my lick back. But you were so right that like, we had such problems with her and I think you said like, this is an issue to us now and feels like the biggest thing in the world, but a week from now we will not remember what the problem was and why we were mad. And it's true for me. She was really pissing us off. And in the moment of us both being pissed off, I was like, in a week we'll forget this and we won't care it ever happened. Exactly what happened. There's nothing about towels. Oh. We asked her, we were staying in Airbnb for three weeks. We rented an apartment flat for three weeks. And we messaged her like maybe a weekend and said, hey, would it be possible to just come change the sheets over one time for us? And she goes, that won't be possible. You know, or whatever. Over message. She's like, she's like, hey, sorry. We don't do that, but there's sheets, there's clean sheets in the closet. It'll be a fee if you use them. And I said, okay, so just be clear, we're staying here for three weeks. It's an additional fee if we get the sheets out of the closet ourselves. And she goes, yeah, it just, you know, because the cleaner will have to do extra sheets. And I said, what's the fee? And she said like a hundred euro or something. Yeah, she told us about the fee before she told us the fee because I ripped open the bag of the sheets and then she was like, it'll be a hundred pounds or whatever. I was like, fuck. Yeah. She tried to reclose the plastic bag. That we didn't use the sheets at all. I think she told us, I think I'm forgetting the order of it. She told us there was a fee before she told us anything. She goes, oh yeah, we can get you a sheet, it'll be a fee. And then we go, okay, that's fine, charge it. And then she goes, okay, open up that closet, they're in there. And we go, oh. So it's coming here to put them on. We were paying for someone to come and do it. Yes, that's what it was. And I said, I said, do you think that's a little crazy just because we're staying here for three weeks that you would charge us to grab our own sheets out of the thing? And she goes, yeah, well you booked an Airbnb, not a hotel, love. And while she did eat a little bit with that, she is a dumb bitch still. That's crazy. I was like, yo. And then she. It was the whole thing to get like extra keys, I think, like one extra key. She didn't want to give us extra keys for the two of us. And we're there for three weeks on different schedules. And then I got my lick back though, because when we were leaving, I did break a lamp on accident. Oh yeah. That's on me. And I turned my suitcase, a weird way the lamp fell off. It was like a cheap five euro lamp. I knew she was going to overcharge. I messaged her, I said, hey, I'm so sorry, this knocked over, we cleaned it up, but you'll have to get a new lamp for that table. And she goes, ooh, that lamp was 75 euro. Reader, no it wasn't. But I go, okay, that's your prerogative, I did break the lamp. But then she charged us for that in the sheets, which we at a principal decided not to use. And I messed her back and I said, at the end of the day, I said, hey, I subtracted the lamp cost. I won't actually be sending you money for the lamp. I subtracted it from what you charged us for the sheets, you owe us 30 euro. And she said, she said, she said nothing. And I responded every day for like four days. And I said, waiting on our 30 euro. And she didn't get back to me, so I contacted Airbnb and said, hey, you can look at our messages and see why this woman owes me 30 euro. Now do I need the 30 euro? No, but she got her link in with the little Airbnb hotel message, which was so con and fearsome by the way. And I love Adiva, but I'm getting my 30 euro. And then the hour after I contacted Airbnb, she sent our 30 euro. That's right. And I did this. Thank you, Caleb. It was also one of those Airbnbs where you had to go to a shop, like a bit away. Yeah, you have to go five blocks away to like a convenience store and beg the guy for the keys. Yeah, she would not. We never met her. She would not meet us there. Yeah. She was real nice. It was above a nightclub. Yeah, something nightclub. Didn't mention that. She also she also just to give you context for why I was being so insane to her. She earned it in a million little ways. But one of the things she did was she she listed the apartment as having AC. There was a unit in both the bedrooms and not the other three levels of the house. So we were in London summer heatwave with no air conditioning. Humidity, which I know they live like that, but sorry, I'm from somewhere better. I'm from a place where we don't rock like that. So I was live it love. Yeah, but we had so much fun. We did have so much fun. I got you really into line biking. I almost died. Yeah, you didn't couple of times. The time you weren't there, I almost died. Did you when I was crying? And you didn't want to line bike with me at all. No, I was so scared. But we got there. You are so you're just like off and you're on your way and you're like, you've got it. And then you're down the street. I love him. I almost ran straight into a bus. I remember the intersection. I could probably like if we went back to London, I could find the intersection. Well, that's the intersection where I ran into the bus almost. It was on the way back from when we got ice cream with Shelby. Yeah, you guys, you were in front. Shelby was in the back so that I felt safe in the middle. We did do that for you. I didn't feel safe. It helped a little bit, but I didn't really feel safe in the middle. And then you were just hoofing it. And went sort of around a bus and I don't know. I have a lot of fun on those things. I have a lot of fun on those things. But you got me there. Katie. Yeah. How the hell are you? Oh my God. I'm good. Yeah. Yeah. What's been going on with you? Nothing. Nothing. Fucking chilling. I should have thought of something that's been going on with me before coming to your podcast. Watching or seeing to anything good? I've seen anybody. I've been watching Jersey Shore. Whoa. Yeah, which I never watched before. Welcome back to the fold. Yeah. But it's new for you. New. Whoa. Yeah. How are you feeling about it? I really like it. Are you are you getting into GTO? Are you wanting to GTO? GTO is a really nice. Yeah, that's like the morning routine before the morning routine. It's like a great concept actually. Jim Tann laundry. Why not? And those guys respect themselves. They don't respect women. But they didn't have to. It was different. It was different then. That is like the one sort of thing missing for me with Jersey Shore is like it's really wholesome. They all like really love each other. They're really funny. Paulie D is like hilarious. Yeah. But they're horrible to women. The misogyny really jumps out. The grenade thing. I like vaguely recall that from I was probably in college or no, I was think I was just out of college when it started airing and grenade became like, you know, part of the parlance. Yeah. Yeah. It's tough when fat phobia is funny because like I'll be honest. I hated it. But the first time I heard grenade, I was like, you got to give your 10s sometimes. I was watching I was watching Pitch Perfect last night. And the frat guy, the frat guy goes like, I was expecting the hot bell is not this barnyard explosion. In reference to like a chubby, a chubby. What's her name? The blonde. Yeah, she's like that. Rebel Wilson. Yeah. She's only chubby in that movie, by the way, they make her out to be some like obese monstrosity. She's a little chunky. Like, and he calls her a barnyard explosion. Sorry, I laugh. That is really funny. Well, the interesting thing about grenades is at least the ones that they portray on the show are usually not overweight. No, that's what I'm saying. Women who are just like normal looking, I guess. Or like don't have big chicks. Yeah, yeah. It's interesting. It is interesting. And there's levels of grenade. There's like grenade. There's like atomic bomb or something. I forgot what they are. It goes up. It moves up to like more destructive explosives. Yeah, mind you, all those guys look like. So it's like, it's like, who are you? Who are you saying anything about? A snooki. You look like a F-A-G-G-O-T, my love. Not cute. I mean, the only really cute one was Vinny to me. Okay, that's a good idea. But then now you know too much about him, right? He's like a Trumper. He is? Yeah, in an open mic or pathetic. Sorry, but to be a Trumper in an open mic or is like, pick a struggle, brother. Something really interesting to me watching, I think it was season four, Vinny came out about his anxiety disorder. Which was maybe one of the first times in reality TV, I think someone spoke about having anxiety. Yeah, did it move you for real? Were you moved? No, I found it interesting. He left the house because his anxiety was so bad. And it's like, yeah, we were probably doing a lot of drugs, drinking every night, not sleeping. You guys are all pulling pranks on each other all the time, like, yeah, that's probably because you have anxiety, brother. You're gonna get anxiety from never sleeping, consuming a lot of substances and living in a prank house. Really was. You'll get anxiety. Yeah. Yeah. Your blood will start to operate at a different temperature, for sure. Oh, that's so funny, you're getting into Jersey Shore. I know, what the hell? I wasn't really big into it when it was on, I just kind of consumed it by osmosis because everyone was watching and talking. That's how I feel. I was like, I kind of feel like I know what happened, like I know about the note, about bed, and I know about her getting arrested, and I know about Sammy and Ronnie's shit. I know it just because all my friends talk about it. Sammy and Ronnie, see, I knew all this stuff too, and then I was like, it's time to dig in and actually see it. The lead up to the note is really fun, and Sammy and Ronnie is unbelievable. They break up and get back together 10, 12, 14 times. It's out of control. That's awesome, though. Yeah, it's really fun. Everyone has a straight couple like that. I had a straight couple like that in high school, that I was like, oh my god, they're so Sammy and Ronnie coded. They're horrible for each other. They're like, fire and gasoline. Are they together now? Don't remember. Don't know. Don't remember. I have a special thing that happened with my brain where I don't remember most of the people I went to high school with. And I mean that in a serious way, where truly the couple people I'm friends with from high school will bring up somebody. They'll be like, oh, you remember Anastasia Cupcake? And I'm like, it'll be like a distinctive name that I should totally remember. They're like, you had five classes with her senior year. You guys rode to school together. I'll be like, huh. You guys went to prom together. Yeah, I'm like, no, no, no, me and Anastasia Cupcake, just science. And you went to high school recently compared to me. Yeah, I graduated high school eight months ago. You're doing really well for yourself. I've been doing rides since then, yeah. When did you really graduate high school? You don't want to talk about this. Fine, fine, fine. 2013. Woo! Woo! I was just here already. You were in LA. Fully in LA. Working for Jared Leto. In my career. That was after Jared Leto. Oh, you'd already worked for Jared Leto. 2009, 2010 when you're in second grade. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm working for Jared Leto. I'm saying my first words. Jared. That's your boss, yeah. That's how we knew we were really good. What did you do for Jared Leto again? I forget. Oh, just like random shit. It started, it was a Craigslist ad for, this is 2009, so I guess like the only way to get a job. Yeah. There were no other, LinkedIn was on a thing, yeah, I don't think. I just graduated college and it was a listing for like an editorial intern on a documentary. And in college, I went to college in Vermont. I was an anthropology, sociology major. Of course. I was like, maybe I could get into documentary filmmaking. That sounds great. And I show up to the interview, they're like, yeah, it's Jared Leto. It's about Jared Leto and his band. And I'm like going back, because first they said 30 seconds to Mars, which is the name of his band. Yeah. And in my head, I'm going the Mars Volta. And I'm like, who's that guy? I'm like trying to understand who Jared Leto is and that he's apparently in the Mars Volta, mixing it up. I realize who he is. And the job is editing footage from his house on a documentary that he is making about himself. And I did that for like two years. That's awesome. And I wasn't paid for like the first year of it. He was being sued by his record company at the time for $30 million because he had like failed to deliver the number of albums that he was contracted to do. And so he was really obviously taken aback by the injustice of that and made a documentary about it. And then I think it turned into more of like a documentary about the music industry, but I was long gone by the time that came out. This feels like an era of LA that is dead and gone of like in some ways. Yeah, in some ways, but also like a lot of interesting shit seemed to be happening back then. Like you just be, I don't know, it just is interesting that you're like falling into Jared Leto's house. Falling into Jared Leto's house. It's not like that anymore. Now it's a very tight network of who's recommended for what and like, true. It really is just like that felt like such an era. It was. And like, it was like a week into getting to LA and then it's my first day and I'm in Jared Leto's house in a spare bedroom. And he's just like walking around eating cereal. It was very strange. Weird. Yeah, you watch movies sometimes from that era like Judd Apatow movies or something. And you're like, oh, that feels totally different than the LA that I lived in. And I'm doing the same shit they were doing. I'm working in comedy in Los Angeles, but I don't feel the way that they're depicting. And it feels like that was a whole different thing they were doing. Like getting going, like getting your start, like it's the phone. I think it's the cell phones are a big part of it. And no one wants to hear you talk about that really. But like, it's like, I do think it's just like, it was a different thing back then. People were less inhibited because they felt less watched, I think, even though they were quite famous. I think in their day to day life, they felt less watched. And so they're more comfortable hiring an intern for their documentary about themselves and not paying them. You know what I mean? You didn't have this sense, you know, that you were going to get ripped apart for that someday like you should. Yeah. It just was, I think it feels like it was a less inhibited time when people were being more insane, which is bad, but interesting. Yeah, that is interesting. It's probably true. Yeah, there was nowhere to bring that. I don't know where I would have reported such a thing. And also like, unpaid internships, are those not a thing anymore? I'm sure they are, but I don't think I could get away with having an unpaid intern. Yeah, people will come after you. I've looked into it. No, we like to pay in all seriousness. But I do. But hey, I learned so much. Invaluable experience. Invaluable. I grew up, I got exposed to the end this year. I learned how to go grocery shopping for him. That did turn into like, I just did like every sort of job that came up when the editing work sort of fell off. We went on tour with him. How was that? It was rough. Yeah. I have really bad motion sickness, which is probably like something you could just read about me and like my personality that I'm someone who gets really bad motion sickness. And we slept on the bus every night and I threw up like every night. I don't like that. You were in one of the bunks? I was in one of the bunks. Have you done tour of us before? No. I'm actually thinking next tour I will. I've always been anti-tour bus, but then I've talked to a lot of people who do the tour bus and I'm like the time that we spent on this last tour, leaving the theater, going back to the hotel to drop off our stuff, going out to see friends, going back sleeping for four hours, going to the airport early enough to get on the plane. I think, had we just put our shit on the bus, gone straight to see friends for an hour and a half, got in, gone to sleep while we're being driven to the next venue and woken up at the place. I think that convenience would make up for the kind of like bad sleep and annoying like... Yeah, I was going to say, if you can sleep. If you can make it happen. It is like being in a coffin. I'll need to sedate and I won't be in the coffin. You'll be on the big bed in the back. I'll be on the big bed in the back. Hell yeah. You guys will be in the coffin. Some of my cooler, nicer musician friends are like... It stacks three high. Like you can turn the back bedroom into another hangout area for everybody and I go, it'll be my bedroom. We're not hanging out. I'm not squeezing into the coffin. Yeah. I'm not going to go to Virginia. All my love, all my love to them. Get in your coffin. They will look so cute in their coffins. I'm putting, I'm going to tape their coffin shut like when you're on a high school trip so they would know that you didn't go do stuff overnight. Oh my God. I'm like, okay, and no one's hanging out without me. Here's your tape. Good night. Good night. I get up the tape's broken. I'm like, guys, meeting. Who did this? Meeting in my suite. I fell out of my coffin once. The first night. I like woke up. I was on the top bunk, woke up super disoriented and, yeah, forgot where I was and sort of like freaked out because it's like you're laying in this thing and the ceiling is like here. Yeah. It's like super close to you. Yeah. So I woke up. I was like, where the fuck am I? And I went to like sit up and I hit the thing and I was like, oh, I've like being buried alive. It was that feeling like, oh shit, I'm fucked. And I rolled out and I hit the ground. And then that was like the story for the rest of that tour. Jared Little made a lot of fun of me for that. But now I'm making fun of him. Yeah, baby. For all the other stuff. Well, all the other stuff that's gone on. What transpired from there? When did you start like actually writing for TV? So interesting. Because you're from Massachusetts. From Massachusetts. You go to school in Vermont. That's right. You come out here. Straight here. And now. Jared. You do Jared. Then I'm like, enough of that. I got fired. Yeah. I say enough of that. I broke my heart. I lost my mind. It was the first time I've ever been fired. And I just thought it was the end of my life. I'm like 22 years old. I'm like, that's it. I have to move home. It feels horrible. Then you get really good at getting fired if you do it enough. I don't think it's happened since then. I've been fired enough times that it starts to feel good. You start to feel proud of them because you're like, you should fire me. You start to, because I was bad at my jobs. You're trying to goad them into doing it. Well, it's like I was bad at my jobs and they were right to fire me. Oh God, I was horrible. I was horrible at all. I was horrible. I was horrible at most of them. I mean, I just didn't care. I was like, I wanted to do comedy. And so it's like this time paying my bills and I do not want to be here and I will not make errors about it. But like waiting tables, like what kind of job I was really good at waiting tables. That's actually probably waiting tables is probably the one job that I. You are so good at that. I know you love to be doing. Yeah. Like I actually love waiting tables, but 40% obviously I prefer this job over that. But I was horrible at being an assistant, being in offices. I had one. I was I'm sure I've said this on the show, but I had one boss who was so sweet. I can I kept showing up to work late and she said, you know, do you have an alarm clock? Can I get you one? She was trying to like remove barriers to me and I had to say my love, I have one and I'm coming late. I just was yeah, that was my I just wasn't doing it. Yeah, fine. Well, it worked out for you. You got fired and then what'd you do after Jared when you when you put yourself together? I did some stuff. Well, I built back stronger than ever. Yeah. I did a lot of random jobs. I work on like a Nickelodeon game show where people got slimed. Remember being slimed? Yeah. I would like clean up the kids after they got slimed. Hosing down the kids out back. Y'all get the slime off you. I would run out with like big towels and be like here, here. It's like watered down vanilla pudding. So it's really gross. Yeah. Yeah. Bring them out to like shower and stuff. That was a fun job. What else? Well, I started my TV career, TV ready career, maybe like 10 years ago now, 10, 11, 12 years ago. Make a choice. Well, it would have been 2014. So that's yeah, 11 years ago. Well, by the time this comes out, yeah. You were a PA, Last Man Standing? That's right. Okay, Last Man Standing. Tim Allen sitcom, Last Man Standing. Tim Allen's Last Man Standing. I got a random, it was like supposed to be a temp job and because like the guy who was the writer's PA broke his leg and they were like, we need someone for just two weeks while he like is on the mend. And then that guy never came back. They were like, we like you, you're going to stay. So I never found out who that guy was, but thanks for the career. Somewhere out there, there's a guy who never had a career in TV because of that. And he's got a different story. Because I slipped in. Katie Dwayne stole my job. Two legs. Able. Able. Two legs, willing. Ready to run, Scripps. So yeah, it all started then. How was your experience on Last Man Standing as a first student job? It was good. Yeah, it was interesting. Like in terms of a TV job that's like constructive for all of my future work, it wasn't great. Like that was a classic sitcom and we don't really have many of those left. Like it was really cool working on that. He like record in front of a studio audience. I haven't experienced that since. I don't think they're really doing it much like that anymore. Multi-Camp sitcoms are still a thing, but like not nearly as much as they were. You know, it used to be The Thing. Yeah. Yeah, that's crazy. We just don't do that at all. We don't really. That was so fun. And you write an episode every week and on like Thursday and Friday you tape it and then you move on to the next thing. How'd you wind up at Rick and Morty? Well. Well. Let me regale. Well, I moved up. I was a PA and then I was a showrunners assistant. Did the classic ladder. I was a writers assistant, which as you know, you've been in writers' rooms before. You're in the room writing down what everyone says. And I was a writers assistant on a show called Kidding starring Jim Carrey. Showtime show. I don't think that many people ended up seeing it really. Directed by Michelle Gondry. Don't care. Oh, I care. I'm listening intently. And I got the Rick and Morty job from that. I submitted for it and this is something they did that I think is sort of like frowned upon maybe in the industry, but I thought it was great. They said, you're not pregnant, are you? You don't got any diseases or anything. No, they did like a blind submission test. So we were tasked with writing two cold opens that could be the beginning of a Rick and Morty episode and submit it anonymously. Oh, wow. And then they went through a pile and read them and picked the ones that they liked the best. Yeah. It's frowned upon because you're doing like work for free. But I think they probably told us when we submitted, like, we're not going to actually use this. And like, they don't need to use that. I think people think like, oh, if I write like a spec script and they really like it, they're going to fucking steal it and make that episode of TV. It's like, no. The reason you're trying to get a job with them is because they don't need your work. Exactly. They're actually not, they're not dying for your idea over at Rick and Morty. Yeah. They're going to be fine without that. And I think nine times out of 10 or maybe even 10 times out of 10, if you have an idea for a show and you're like, why haven't I done that? I'm going to write the spec script. They have fucking thought of that idea. And there's a reason they didn't do it. And it's probably the reason that your spec script is not that great. So anyways, I got the job. Yeah. Well, that's a very particular, I'm very interested in like the, that world of comedy that you started to work in, because that kind of fan base is a very particular place that has such intense dedicated fans that they do start to think like, well, I could write this. I know this very well. I'm just as good at this as they are. I know the character so well. It's a very bought in fan base that has its own like peculiarities and like interesting little pieces. Yeah. That's where you like really cut your teeth on like writing comedy, right? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. I don't really think about it that I still struggle to accept that I write comedy. That's interesting because you're so good at that. That's my job. Oh, thank you so much. I was hoping for that. Yeah. And maybe I'm happy to provide it. Yeah. I just, yeah, I really like it, but I guess I'm still suffering from imposter syndrome like to this day of like, someday soon someone's going to figure out that I'm not supposed to be here. And I better just collect until they realize. Yeah. I'm raking it in until then. Yeah, that's scary. I hate that feeling for you though because you are so good at it. Thank you. That's very nice. And we've gotten to work together on stuff. We wrote a, we spent years developing a show together. We did. Called Best Buds. It was a cartoon. How come it never happened? Well, it went multiple places. I mean, we, Kami and I developed this show originally for, what was that? Keekock? No. Oh. Try again. Remember it was for... Quibi? Oh, God. What a humiliating industry. Yeah. We developed a show for, what was it? Oh, Quibi. Which is short for Quick Bite. Of course. We developed it for Quibi and then it didn't obviously happen there because of their imminent failure and then we did it. We developed it for Peacock. No more Quibi? Long time with Peacock. They decided not to make it at Universal. Then we developed, Netflix bought it. Then we developed it for Netflix. So thankfully we made money off this show like quite a bit. But no one ever made it and you and I truly writing this show laughed so goddamn hard. It was really fun. Like, Kami and I, I will never forget one day we were writing, and we just worked so well together. Like, I really enjoyed writing, like developing that with you. There was one day where we were writing that my character in the animated show gets so stoned. Oh my God. That he thinks he's moving quickly but he's moving so slow. Climbing a ladder to go up a building. And we were truly, like, we really wanted the sequence to go on for like two and a half minutes. It's like happy episode. Truly like him just like, we gotta hurry up. We gotta go tell this character this thing. Yeah. It's like, okay, we'll go tell him. And then just like 30 seconds of like unmoving still frame, just like them sitting there. Just him so stoned. And we were crying, laughing, writing this. And we had so many moments like that where we would just be truly like weeping, writing these ideas. Yeah. A lot of fun. It's really weird that you can do all that. And then people are just like, no, we don't want it. Yeah, we're going in a, we're going in a, we're actually, I'm sorry. We fired the whole team that bought this from you and the new team wants to go family friendly or whatever. Yeah. They changed their mandate overnight. All of a sudden, yeah. All of a sudden you're like, oh, my thing is not, doesn't fit into your deal anymore. It is the weirdest thing, especially when executives, not to like go off about executives, tell you like what the company is looking for right now. And it's like, well, we're really looking for our Ted Lasso. And it's like, no, you're not. Like you're looking for your Ted Lasso now by the time you find it and you produce your Ted Lasso and it's like three years in the future. I don't fucking want to see a Ted Lasso anymore. And you won't make it. You can't go with what these people are telling you they're looking for. You just have to do the best thing that you can. Also fuck family friendly, family friendly media. Yeah. I'm just going to say it. Fuck that shit. Fuck it. I'm tired of hearing about it. I don't want to, they say we need something that everyone, that everyone would want to watch. Fuck everyone. I want to make stuff for the people that want to watch me. Yeah. Fuck. If you don't like me, don't tune in bitch. Caleb Quad. Caleb Quad. We're doing, you know what content I want to see? Caleb being happy, Caleb being sad. Caleb friendly. I want to see some content. Let's see Caleb friendly programming on the networks. And that's what it was really. Yeah. Do you think there's any life left in it? Could we get the engine? I don't know maybe. I just remember that when it died at Netflix that our wonderful producers who we both love, they're like maybe we could do it live action. They did say that. And that's when I said, I'm out. That to me was like we're trying too hard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That to me was the death knell. Well we didn't hear anything after that so I don't think. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe they tried. Everyone else was like, no. Yeah. We also had a really funny character in that show that he's a 12 step sober recovery guy that runs the liquor store. And we loved him. We really loved him. There was like a Hooters-esque restaurant. There was an astrophysicist who was a server at Hooters. That's right. They're all really smart and have their master's degrees. They're all there to pay off their PhDs. Because we're allies. Yeah. We're so funny. We're the teens who work at the Boost Mobile and no one really knows what happens at Boost Mobile. That's right. Empty store. Empty store. You go in and you're like, what do they do? And they're like, for sure. And you're like, okay. And then they had that door to the back where like every time they opened it, it's like a fucking rave going on back there. And they wanted to see what's back there so bad. Everyone was saying that this was being like, great, well that show doesn't exist. Yeah. Stop telling us about your non-existent show. Cool. Okay, so you wrote on Rick and Morty. And then after that, you've done so much like, what did you just punch up? You just punched up something. Gee, I don't know. I do some punch up. I write jokes. Yeah. Well, you and I also, I think, became friends because we were both, we both got big on Twitter during a golden era. Twitter when we were big on Twitter was like, that was the spot. And you were smart. You left. You're gone now. Oh, I left. I'm still in there. It's horrible. I'm fighting for my life over there. I like, you know, it's like I look at my follower account and I'm like, three of these people are still here and watching and real. It's bad vibes on there. Heyday of our Twitter time though, you were getting invited to like, chance the rappers fucking recording. That's right. That did happen. Like, Katie was like a fucking, like an icon of the Twitter golden era. And then I showed up and he was just like, I think he like thought I was going to be like funnier. Yeah. And I showed up to chances of recording studio and I was just like very quiet and intimidated and like nervous about like what to do. He was very nice, but it was bizarre. And also like, I thought I was like getting scammed for a second before I met up with him because he was so like, he just DM'd me and he's like, you're so funny. I love her. Come on. He like, come to the studio. I was like, what? And he like gave me his phone number. I was like, huh? And then like that didn't happen. And then it was like many months later, I had like saved his number in my phone and I'm just like lying on the couch and my phone lights up and it's like chancellor rapper is FaceTiming. And I was like, huh? And I just like didn't know what to do. I didn't pick it up. And then it hung up and then he texts me and he was like, oh, I'm sorry. I realized that's probably like weird. It might be weird to get a FaceTime from me. We've like never talked before. And he was like, I'm at the studio now. Like you should come just hang out. And I was like, okay, I'm not doing anything. Sure. And then I was about to leave the house and I was like, you know what? It's FaceTime me because now I think this is a scam. Yeah. And you're going to fucking kill me. And then he FaceTimed me and it was him. And then we went and hung out. That's so funny. Very strange. Twitter used to be so different. That's how it was back then. Yeah. That was like Twitter was just like anybody who, if you followed someone who was doing something interesting and they followed you back, it was like in a second's notice, we will turn this into a real life hang. No problem. It was so fun. That's how we became friends. You and I, we followed each other. I thought, I think you are brilliant. I thought you were brilliant. And I was like, we got to be friends. And I love your jokes. And then we are. I remember what made me fall in love with you. The video. Well, sugar, tell them. Tell our story, Suga. The video where I was like, this guy's fucking hilarious is when you're listening to your friend tell a story and you're like trying to interject. Dude, give him a little taste. When you're venting to affirming a friend who's clearly in the wrong. That was the big viral. That was like one of the ones. But it was the one where you're saying like, but if you, yeah. Right. Right. And if she, yeah. No, I would say in a career, you have to have many breaks. That was my first big. That was bigger. Earlier that year, that was 2019. Earlier that year, I had screen tested for SNL. And this was bigger than that. I mean, this was like, yeah, this was like people because a bunch of funny people and cool people making stuff like you saw it and we're like, Oh, maybe this guy's funny. That was big. That was that video was big for me. My big video, never live it down is the fat Joe. Oh my God, you and the recording studio. Yeah. Do you guys ever see this? It was, it was Katie pretending to be the sound engineer for a fat Joe song and he goes, turn the fucking mic on and she goes. It still comes up a lot. So funny. And it's that type of thing. Do you have this feeling when like everyone thinks something you've done is really funny where you start to be like, it's not that funny. Yeah. You start to go like God with this. Yeah. And then as soon as people really liked it, I felt like, okay, I have to keep doing this and there's plenty of songs that have the same sort of like, you know, especially like a rapper like saying some shit at the beginning of the track that you can react to. But the more I tried to do it, I was like, what am I doing? This is not, I gotta find something else. Yeah, you chasing the dragon. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like when people think I'm that funny. Yeah. It's like I want to tell them like, okay. I do. Yeah. People think I'm that funny. I go, yeah. Yes, you're right. No, I do. When they latch on to one specific, I want them to think I'm holistically funny. I want them to think that each new thing I do is funnier than the last. So when they hang on to an old one for too long, I'm like, come on. Yeah. I've got other stuff. I've got other stuff, man. Yeah. I don't really. That's kind of my one thing. So then yeah, we met and then I moved to LA. We were mutuals for a bit. Did we meet when I moved to LA? That's right. During the pandemic. Yeah. During the pandemic. I don't think we met before that. No, that's huge trust. We would meet up at the Krispy Kreme. We met up at the Krispy Kreme. Oh yeah, we would eat Krispy Kreme on the hood of my car in Burbank. Mm-hmm. Yeah. This one is so sweet. LA pandemic was like wholesome and nightmarish. Yeah. It was like really cute because everyone was finding these like old school ways to connect where they're like, you guys want to go sit around the fire? You know, but it was also like blooming like disasters all the all around. It felt very, felt very dystopic movie. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Pandemic. Some say it's still happening. Well, we'd have to have one of them on. Come on out. Tony. It's Tony Fauci. Mr. Fauci. Mr. Fauci. I'm not calling you doctor. Mr. Fauci. Where is he? Uh, they. Right there. Maybe what's so true to you, dude? Oh my God. Okay. Should we do a nice one or a mean one? Me. Yeah. I kind of want to, and I don't know if anyone has gone off about this on your show. Stop me if they have. I think that if you use chat GPT, you are probably the worst imaginable person. You did not believe in the future of humanity. You don't care about other people. Yeah. I think it's pathetic. It's so pathetic. Because what do you mean you need it? You don't need it. You didn't need it a year and a half ago to make dinner and all of a sudden you can't figure out what to do with chicken and carrots. Like, Google it. Knock it off, bitch. I hate the AI stuff. I hate it so much. I hate that people are, they're like, well, it helps me with my emails so it frees me up to do other stuff and yet you're doing nothing remarkable with the other time. Scroll and tick tock. Knock it off. Scroll and tick tock. I hate the AI stuff. I'm so sick of it. It's all right. I'm tired of watching smart, competent people act so fucking dumb about everything. You go, well, it's just easier. Well, you're smart. Well, the defense too is that they're like, it's not going anywhere so I'm just going to use it. It's like, okay, you want to be on the front lines of the downfall of humanity? And also you're not preparing, like you using chat GPT now does not make you anymore equipped. Everyone knows how to use it. It's not some skill that you're acquiring to be ready. You can use rule into it and then it tells you what you want to hear. So fucking and it's the thing. Like people wonder why I'm really like on my high horse about specifically chat GPT. But to me, it's like the most harmful in so many different ways thing that you do not need to use at all. There is no good use for it. However, every time you use it, a bottle of water is waste. Fresh water that we need. We're like running out of that imminently. We low key need that. Gone. Yeah. It's going to take our jobs. Yeah. Every time you speak to it, it learns from you and learns to emulate you and will take jobs from you. Every customer service job gone because you're fucking chatting with chat GPT all the time. Because you didn't want to write an email at work. Here's another thing. I'll give a so true for the episode. People with email jobs, you're fine. These people act like, here's my so true for the episode. If it is nine o'clock at a hangout on a weeknight and you have an email job, you don't get to say you have to get to bed. You're going to be fine tomorrow. You're going to be fine tomorrow. You type emails for a living and fuck around in Excel sheets. You're fine. People with computer jobs acting like they are going to war. You have the easiest existence in the history of the world. You can stay out late on a weeknight. It's the whole reason we used to want office jobs so that we could have more fun lives. Used to want an office job to be like, oh, I can fucking go out and have fun. Oh, I have to do tomorrow's an office job. I'm not roughing houses. And now you're saying what's the attitude of office worker or computer worker. I'm saying so many people I know that have computer jobs are like, oh, we got to turn in. I've got work tomorrow. Your job is fake. And then now on top of having a fake job, they're using chat GBT to write the fake emails. You do nothing. And they will be laid off in six months. And that part is sad. Is it though that I'm contributing to it? I want you to keep your fake job. I know I want you to keep your fake job so that we can hang out, but people are being boring. And furthermore, I have a second so true. Say it now. Okay, you know those like delivery robots that are going all over the place. Kick them over. Oh, one cut me off the other day. One cut me off the other day. I was driving and it pulled out on the sidewalk in front of me and I literally went, hey, man, I'm talking to him like he's real. Well, that's the problem. I know. We've been primed to like, I've seen a lot of videos on like tick talk of like people feeling sad because the little like robot can't get across the street and he's so scared and he can't get over it. No, fucking kick back over and kill him because he has taken someone's job. Not a great job delivery driving, but it is taking wages from people. And I do feel like Pixar and everyone at whoever else has been humanizing robots for so long so that when we got to this point where they are taking our jobs, we're like, oh my God, that like delivery robot is so cute. Let him go. It is sad to watch him have eyeballs and try to cross the street. They are doing something to us and we're wrong. I know it has worked on me and I'm like, what the fuck am I feeling like this for? This should be a human being. Take his eyes away. Take his eyes away and who cares if he can get on his own. Take off his name tag. His name tag. If you see a delivery robot, take his eyes away and take his name tag. Spray paint his eyes and take his name tag. We cannot see him as real. He's nobody. He's nobody. He's a robot. He's nothing. He's an it. You know people are calling robots clankers now? Yeah. Which is so whoever came up with clankers like, good job. It sounds so like a slur. It's nice to say. Yeah, it does sound like a slur. Which I love to say. It actually feels good and I think it's like as white people, it's nice to have a slur that we can safely process it. Thank God. I've been waiting. It's good to be. Let's get all the racist white people and be like, look here's one you can do. Clankers, clankers. Yeah, run with this one. Run with this one. Leave real people of color alone. Run with this one. This is good. Let's radicalize. You should hate those things. Yeah, it's like this is good. Yeah. Like I don't want these clankers taking my jobs. It's like that's nice. Exactly. Do say that. Yeah. Take his eyes. Anyway, fuck TadGBT. Fuck TadGBT. And fuck you if you use it. You're stupid. You're destroying the environment. You're making yourself dumber. All of these kids are now going to college and not even learning. They're going straight to chat GPT. The professors are using it now. My dad is a college professor. And I've been talking to him about it. And he has gotten to the point. He'll tell me like the assignments that he gives to his students. This one recently he was like, I sent a nine page article to my students and I asked them to read it. And I said, if you don't finish it, just email me and tell me why you couldn't finish it. That is like the assignment. He knows that kids can't even read a nine page article. And all he wants is for you to say, at what point you stopped reading because you were so fucking bored you couldn't get through it. And why? And maybe explore that. He is at the end of his row. This man is trying to hold the education system together by a thread. And he just knows. Like there's nothing to do. He uses those AI detectors. He doesn't use TadGBT, but he uses the detectors. And I think a lot of his students try to convince him that they're not using TadGBT. And he's like, dog, yeah, you are. I just want to ask all these people, what do you want out of your life? Exactly. What would you like your time on earth to be about? Is everything. Everything is a time saving. Is it the God that you really want to worship at? Is everything supposed to be so fucking easy? Are you do you really want to spend your whole time on earth never doing a single challenging thing to your mind and just fucking drool over a fucking slop bowl with TadGBT telling you like what you should write to your friend. That actually sounds kind of sick. Of course that's nice. Of course that's nice. Slap bowl? What's in it? I just had one. I'm saying like, of course there's parts of this that are cool, but do you want to spend every minute of your life doing nothing for real actually? That's crazy. I know. There's no more thirst for knowledge. Do you think? I was giving you a pause because I thought you were going into something more, but no, you're right. No, straight up. The thirst for knowledge is gone. Say that. I just said it. So we start crying. We start sobbing doing this. The thirst for knowledge is gone. I want people to want to do anything. You ever seen the breakup 2006? You love that movie. I do really love it too. What are you going to say about it? Well, just he, Vince Vaughn goes, why would I want to do the dishes? And she goes, I want you to want to do the dishes because you know I need help. And it's a really great argument. One of the all time great film arguments in the breakup 2006. Is that the same argument as he was supposed to bring 12 lemons and he brought like two? It starts with the lemons. Yeah. It's actually the- It's a really funny joke in the breakup where Vince, she asked him for 12 lemons and he brings three or whatever. And she goes, you brought three lemons and he's like playing video games and he goes, yeah, my baby wants lemons and my baby gets lemons. But baby wanted 12. Yeah. Yeah. God, what a great movie. It's a really good movie. Really great movie, one of the all time great fights. And some really funny scenes in there. You guys should all go watch it. Should we remake it? Yeah. You want to star? Yeah, you want to star. Yeah. We're in it together. I'm in it. Is that believable? We were together and now we're breaking up? Yeah. I think my character will have to have a secret, but yeah. Layer. Yeah. We're adding layer. We'll layer in some secret. Great. His buddies he plays pool with, it's not all they do, but yeah. This is interesting. This is nice stuff to think about. Oh my God. We got to make a movie together. What's your favorite movie of all time? That thing you do. Whoa. Do you like that movie? Never seen it. Who's in? The Tom Hanks written directed starring. He's not really the star. He's a co-star. Yeah. You know, it's about a band, like a one hit wonder band. Who's stars? You got Tom Hayden Scott. Is that his name? Tom Hayden Church. No. Tom Everett Scott. Tom Everett Scott. Whoa. Okay. You got Steve Zahn. You got Ethan Embry. Don't know. And you got the fourth guy. I know Ethan Embry. He was in Sweet Home Alabama. That's right. Nice. And who's the fourth guy? Some guy. Got it. He did a great job. He killed it. I don't really know anything else. He's watching this like, God damn it. He's a huge fan of So True. He's like, fuck. He throws his popcorn at the TV. It's a great movie though. You have to watch it. It has everything. It has romance. It has great. It has that one really good song. Jonathan Shachek. Is that who you were thinking of? How do you even say your name, Doug? Jonathan Demi. Also, Jonathan's spelled with an H. Paul Feig plays a... Is that the dad from Girls? Hang on. Damn. This is a cast. Yeah. Oh my God. Giovanni Robisi. Oh wow. What a cast. This is a hell of a... Clint Howard's in this thing. Good night. It's really good. It takes place in the 60s. You got Charlize Theron in there. You got to watch the director's cut. Damn, I got to get into it. So that's your favorite movie, huh? Yeah. Wow. It's just so funny and wholesome and charming. What do you think of Tom Hanks? Is he as wholesome as we believe? Cut the cameras. What do you make of this Tom, fellas? Is he the guy behind the scenes? You know stuff? You remember when him and Rita got COVID? That shook the world. It did. They were the first people to ever get COVID. Shocked the world. In Australia, if I'm not mistaken. We said not America's first lady. Yeah, that's when people started taking it seriously. Yeah. But they were fine. They were totally fine and they're going to be fine. What do you think of Tom Hanks? Good guy. Good guy, I think. Love him. Love him. Tom Hanks has a gun to my head off. No, I imagine if I ever found out that Tom Hanks wasn't what we believe him to be, I would just be so heartbroken. It just seems more likely that he's not. No, no, no, that he's not what we think he is. Don't you think? Oh, jeez, you think? Everyone it. That sucks. Well, I also hate though that we've made him be something. Yeah. We make him be Tom Hanks. Yeah, I think maybe he does not want to have this. He's like, no, I'm kind of an asshole. I'm like a regular guy. Yeah. Do you have a Tom Hanks impression? Oh, you know. Oh, I heard it. What, eh? Or something like that, maybe. Will you do your Margot Martindale impression for us? That's my favorite thing about you. Well, you love two impressions of mine. Katie and I, a big part of Katie and I's friendship is doing, sending each other voice memos and character. You send them to me. And then I try to do them and I get nervous and I don't send them. Well, she wants me to send her voice notes. I'm happy to send her voice notes. Honey, you made a big mistake. That's Margot Martindale. You make me laugh so much. If I had on a big wig, you could see it. She's a floozy. She always carries that. I have a video of you in London where you're in my room and you're looking outside at the window and you're like, I want to go outside, but I don't want to be hot. It's too damn hot out there. I don't want to be hot in it. My other favorite bit is I'll send Katie a seven-minute voice memo. Just being like, apropos of nothing, we won't be talking. Right. And I'll be like, that's the important part. It was 1994 when I moved to Los Angeles. I was having lunch at, I guess it was the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. And of course, my compatriot, Katie Delaney, was there. And she was writing a script for the television program, Rick and Morty and them. And I'll do this for like seven minutes. The thing you always add, did you just say it? You always say, I was living in Los Angeles at the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like, you know, and it's true, you are living all over the place. I was living in Los Angeles at the time and, you know, all the stars were out as it were. And I'll just do that for so long. So fucking funny. I'm like, I'm going to do a three second voiceover and Katie going, ha ha! And a better action. Yeah. No, it's I have them all saved, but also they got to fix this saving, the voice memo thing. Sometimes they don't even give me the option. They don't give me keep all the time. Keep doesn't pop up right away. So you got to just stare at it until keep pops up. But then after you've kept, where does it go? You just have to scroll, scroll, scroll forever until you find it. Where is it? You go into a folder and then you can listen to all of them. They don't do that. So if I want to find your voice memos from four years ago, it's crazy. It's not going to happen. Do you have any voicemails or voicememos saved on your phone that you think about a lot? I have a sad one. I have one. My dad left me a voicemail like 14 hours before he died. We think. We don't for sure know when he died. What did he say? He was just like, it's kind of funny, but he was like, he was like, hey buddy, just want to be the one to tell you, I was in the hospital. I don't think anything's wrong, but he was like, yeah, I guess I got emphysema. I thought I quit smoking soon enough, but I guess not. Anyway, I'll be fine. I love you. And it's just like a, but it's sad of course because, you know, he goes on to die pretty quick, but. Do you listen to it? I've listened to it probably like a handful of times since he died. I listened to it a couple of times when I was writing the script about him. And I've listened to it a couple of times since then, just like I got a new phone. And I listened to it one time before I switched phones just to make sure that if anything were to happen for any reason that I would have heard it, you know. And then it went over, so it was fine. But yeah, I listen to it sometimes. It's really sweet. I'm really glad I have it. I'm really glad I had the thought to save it. Yeah. I have a bunch of my Nana's voicemails from before she died. I don't really listen to them ever, but they're there. Yeah. Well, it's a weird like when in the middle of a day are you going to sit down and be like, all right, it's your my dead dad's voice. Yeah. Yeah. It's a weird thing to conjure up, but I have some funny ones too, I'm sure. But that's the one I think of. But you don't know because there's nowhere to go. No localized place on your phone, a folder to go and listen to them. You need to get this. Tim Cook. Tim Cook. See, that's okay. I did that. Mr. Apple. Listen to me, sir. Get it done. Tim Apple Cook. Please do this. Mr. Tim, Mr. Apple. Can I ask you how you feel being perceived in this way by so many people all the time? I wonder if anyone wants to hear it, but yes you can. I've talked about it plenty on this show, I think. I feel insane. I feel insane. It feels insane to be perceived. You're making me feel very comfortable. I feel good, but then when I start to think about like people will watch this conversation between the two of us and form opinions about me. Yeah. I think they'll form nice opinions. I don't think I'm interested. I think, yeah, it's tough being a publicly commented on entity of any size or regard, and you've experienced that, but like. A little bit, not nearly as much as you. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. What percentage do you have like a lot of negative stuff coming in? Virginia would be the better person to ask as she runs the socials. You delete them? She deletes them. Good. Okay. Yeah. When was it a lot? I think earlier when the podcast was in there. Yeah. When the podcast was in there. What the fuck is this guy? Yeah. I try not to read too much of it. I try not to have. I've described it as a portal to the souls the way I talked about this recently where I'm like, if you want the good end, you have to let the bad end as well. Just assume leave it out altogether. And I'll just take my notes about me from the people who actually know me and love me. I think that'll be a perfectly fine way to do it. And it's cool that strangers like my work. I hope that people laugh. I've been doing a lot of press for the HBO special. This morning I did like four phone interviews in a row. And I was reflecting a little bit on like, you know, they're like, what do you want people to get from the special? I'm like, I just want people to laugh. Yeah. I would love to make people laugh. And after that, whether you think I'm a good person or you have a bad person or you think I'm fucking annoying or you think I'm the coolest or you want to be my friend or you want me to die or whatever, that none of that is my business. I hope you laugh. And if you don't, please keep it to yourself and I'm out of it. You know what I mean? I'm just out of it. It's extremely evolved of you. Thanks, dude. I've had, I'm, I think very likely that it's gone slowly. You know, I have not really had overnight success. Well earned. I don't mean overnight sounds like you haven't earned it and it's just like happened in front of you. I think it's happened quickly as it should. Things are, things are escalating very quickly right now, but I think I've had a long, like, I had a moderate sized Twitter following many years ago and that was the beginning of it, you know? And then I was, I was in this thing or this thing and I had this job and this exposure to the internet and I think I've, I've gotten to like dip my, my toes a little bit along the way. Yeah. If what I feel like has happened is that I have walked slowly into a body of water up to my knees and then I, in the last two years, fell off a ledge and now I'm fully submerged in it, but I got to walk slowly at least in their sharks and their, and their executives, their sharks and they always. Yeah. I did learn from a friend yesterday that she, she, she knows an entertainment exec who's using chat GPT to give notes on scripts. What the fuck up? Yeah. And that made me, I was like, please give me their name. I want to. Yeah. Did you get the name? No, but I was like, I was like, please tell me so I can never work with that person. That makes me sick and she wouldn't tell me because she's a good friend to her friend, but I was like, that is, that is, if you are an entertainment exec and you are using chat GPT for anything, you, you must quit and go do something else. I'm begging you to get out of this. This industry is already so fraught. I'm begging you to go do something else. You clearly don't care about this. Well, what part of the job do you think that like they just like going at dinner? Like, they, like. Like, what do you like about this? If you're not doing that. Yeah. This is probably like the most fun they could possibly have doing their job. No, I imagine that what a lot of people like about this work is adjacency to power and relevance. Right. Yeah. Going to dinner. Going to dinner. With, um. Freaking Charlize Theron. We love her. I would love to go to dinner with her. Freaking Charlize Theron or something like that. That sounds lovely. Matt Reif. Matt Reif. Oh, I had a dinner with Matt Reif. I was dinner with Matt Reif and I believe who was it that joined? There's Charlize Theron. Of course, we were at San Vicente bungalows in Los Angeles and um, Katie Poppie. She was doing sleight of hand magic for the table. Damn. Hell yeah. So, I want to put me in a Truman Capote funny biopic. We did Capote serious. Let's do the silly one. I'll start writing it today. You know, Truman Capote was going to drag bars in Kansas City. Cool. Back in the day. Yeah. I was like, what? He would go into Kansas City and go to the drag shows. Just hang. Yeah. I'm doing your dance. Or whatever. You know. So demanding. Yeah. Dance for me. Katie, time for a segment. You know what it is. Oh. You've seen the show. I have. Okay. Every week. No, I do know what it is. Are you okay? He's doing physical bits. Katie, I'm going to read you 15 statements. You're going to tell me as quickly as you can if you think that what I just said is true or false. Yeah. If you get 10 or more correct, we're going to give you 50 US dollars. Really? Yes. Really. Okay. That's cab fare. Okay. Ready? Yeah. Quick as you can. World of Warcraft debuted in 1999. True. False 2004. Drafts are excellent swimmers. False. False. They cannot swim. Florida has a larger population. Yeah. True. True. Angelina Jolie is six foot tall. False. False. She's five seven. The current president of St. Michael's College is William Eck. That's where I went to college. False. False. Richard Plum. A group of jellyfish is called a school. False. False. It's a smack. Fall River, Massachusetts, its town motto is we'll try. True. True. There are more Taco Bells in America than Subways. False. False. They cannot swim. Florida has a larger population than Greece. True. True. Angelina Jolie is six foot tall. False. False. She's five seven. She's five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five five A pigeon's feathers are heavier than its bones. True. True, how'd she do? 10! 10! Yeah! Where's my 50 dollars? That's what, well, we'll talk about it. Venmo, cash. We'll talk about it, we'll talk about it. We'll talk about it off camera. Shoot, okay, so what else was I gonna ask you? Katie. Yeah. You know what I asked a friend the other day and it was really lovely and we don't have to talk about this if you don't want to, it depends on what the answer brings up. I was at dinner with a friend. I was at dinner with a friend and I asked like, who's someone that you don't talk too much anymore, that you just really love from afar? Like somebody that you're like, oh, we haven't talked in a while, but I really love that person and I'm wishing them well. You. Genuinely, yes. We don't talk a ton. We're bad at it. But you're just like doing so great out there and I just, it feels like we talk a lot because I'm just so engaged with your socials. Your socials? I'm just all over the socials, I'm commenting. I'm just watching your presence. So yeah, you. That's sweet. Like most of my friends, I have a lot of like day to day like see them all the time, multiple times a week friends. Those are like my friends. I have many friends that I hope are doing well. None are coming to mind right now. Yeah. I'm not thinking about them. No. Yeah, I don't know. I just thought it was kind of interesting. It is sweet that you say me, though. I do feel that way about you. I'm regularly okay at keeping in touch, okay to bad and this year have been bad. I've been wanting to keep in touch. I'm not great at it either though. And I think you're the type of friend that when I see you, we're just like back to it. It's not like, oh fuck, like we're not gonna remember what each other is like if we don't talk every couple weeks or something like that. Like we'll just get together and we get together. You're in my dreams. Oh. You're in my dreams and my prayers. Oh my God. Baby girl. What are you praying for for me? For you? Yeah, what do you want from me? The same thing I want for all peoples. Peace. Peace, happiness, prosperity, love, warmth, connection. Connection above all. Connection is God. I would love to see you connect. With? Others. Me, the universe yourself. I think I'm doing it. Yeah. Because you've been praying. I think you're connecting. I've been praying. I pray for your uprising. I pray. I do not pray for your downfall. Thank you so much. I pray for your rise. Someone's praying for it. I pray on your rise. Thank you so much. I pray on your escalation. I don't pray but if I did, you don't need my prayers. You're doing so good. You pray, Katie. Whether you know it or not. I pray with them. I canvass and I paintbrush. That's what I'm saying. You're praying. You know what? It was a prayer that you walked in here today. Hey. It's an answer to a prayer. God is good all the time. All the time. Let the church say amen. Amen. Well, Katie. Ha ha ha. It was, I became a Christian in 2025 after doing a podcast recording with Katie Delaney. She was doing a sleight of hand magic. Ha ha ha. Do do do do do do. Katie, I love you so much. I love you. Is there anything you wanna tell the people about? Anything you wanna plug? Oh my God. Don't follow me on Twitter. That's over. Get off there, yeah. Hit me on Instagram. Grab my sub-stack, which I'm starting. I'm trying to move over. Katie, your sub-stack. Yeah, let's go. We're trying to move from Twitter over to sub-stack. I really wanna work with more like, this is so stupid. No, it's not. Work with more long form writing. I haven't written anything longer than a tweet. Well, I write for my job, but I wanna explore the thoughts in a more long form way. I'll be sharing my, I paint, I'll share my paintings and my ceramics and my getting into quilting. It's gonna be like a hobbyist fun thoughts getting through the horrible times sort of sub-stack, I think is what I'm looking to do. I love it, I love your fun thoughts. I have one of your gorgeous paintings hanging in my apartment. Which one? Oh, you have the little cottages with the station wagon in front. You have that one right here. Yes, yeah, and I love that one. Well, we just love you, thanks for being here. I love you so much. Thank you. Thank you. That was a hate gum podcast.