Tom Segura Joins The Show! | Whiskey Ginger

What up, Whiskey Ginger fans? Welcome back to the show. If it's your first time joining the show, welcome to the show. Welcome to Whiskey Ginger, a wave series. Hey, I am on the go. Tonight, right now, I'm in Valley Center, which is North County, San Diego. Come on and pop on over and see me at Harris. Gonna have some fun. And then, Lover's Day, February 14th, I'm in Canyonville, Oregon. Then the Bad Friends are doing Thunder Valley Casino up in Lincoln, which is basically Sacramento. Then March 21st, I'm at the Wynn in Viva Las Vegas. Then I do the Lil Roadie Fest in Providence, Rhode Island in March. And then in April, I rescheduled the Atlantic City Borgata, so April 3rd now because of the storm that happened. And then May 8th, Bad Friends are at the YouTube Theater for Netflix is a Joke Fest. So go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets, andrewsantino.com. In here, we pour whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, whiskey, You are that creature in the ginger beard. Sturdy and ginger. Like vampires, the ginger gene is a curse. Gingers are pugilies. You owe me $5 for the whiskey and $75 for the horse. Gingers are hell no. This whiskey is excellent. Ginger. I like gingers. Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Whiskey Ginger. My guest today is one of my favorite people on earth. But I say that for all my guests, but I mean, once again, today it's Tom Segura. Thank you. For everybody? You say it for everybody? Yeah, I say it for literally everybody. But for you, Tom Segura, I have to say it with a little bit more spice because I mean it. Oh, and not just the accent. No. I got it. Cheers. There's a little stag, a little George T. Stag. Love you. Thanks. Great to see you. It's been a long time. The kid is gone. It's been a while. You're in, what's it called? I don't know. Austin? Ooh. Wow. Did it hit you? Nice. Hit you, right? Yeah. It's been a long day. Right here? It's good. You've been working. You've been working. The man is working. on season two of his amazing show, which I'm sure all of our fans have already seen on Netflix. Bad thoughts. Bad thoughts. Good thoughts. Yeah. Fun thoughts. Fun thoughts. Yeah, I had an interesting thing this week where, I don't want to give it away, but there's one where the ending, what's implied is so horrific between people and a family. and somebody was like, I don't know if you should do that. I don't even know if we can get clearance to say that. And I was like, what are you talking about? That's what this show is. That's what the show is. The show is supposed to be the most horrible things. Watching you make love to that woman with the twin on its back, my wife saw me watching it in the room and walked in and with all genuine. She's been with me for years. She knows we're in comedy. yeah she was like what the fuck are you watching and i was like it's it's segura's sketch show and she was like that's in his show and i was like yeah it's great yeah she was like genuinely disturbed she was like wait this is okay she's like enjoy yeah i got a lot of people that reached out to me about that i loved it dude it was so fun man you have to i think do i think doing it look, a lot of sketch shows follow like the same format, so to speak. Not, I'm not, I'm not shitting on them. I'm just saying like, they very familiar and you recognize them and you go, oh yeah, I get it. And you did a very, um, it's a, it's a one 80 from that. It's like the opposite direction. It's not, you don't really see any of it coming, which is huge. Yeah. And the beats don't really repeat themselves. They get more gruesome or disgusting or. And cinematic. And beautifully shot. Oh man. I told the guy and I think I was right. I go, look, man, not everyone's going to like this show. Yeah. I go, I know how this goes. So people are going to think it's great. So people are going to say it's the worst thing ever. Yeah. But no one's going to say it doesn't look good. That's right. You did a great job. You get a good you get a good DP on it. You shoot it really well. And then it makes it elevates the comedy. Yeah. It makes it funnier and dirtier and more fucked up and more twisted. And people think, by the way, you'll understand this. They're like, I can't believe you got some insane budget. I'm like, we didn't. No. We just focused on making it look good. But it looks like there's money in it. Yeah, it does look like there's a lot of money behind it. It's not. But we know how all this stuff goes. Anytime someone's like, dude, that has been so expensive. And you're like, no, we had to do it. You hire a talented person to work with you. Yeah, we had to trick everybody. It's a big trick. The real truth is, if you're listening, these big corporate conglomerates, they're not funding any of these shows the way you think they're funding these. You think that they're funding these shows. I know. They're funding like period pieces. Those probably get a lot of money. Those get money. And then some of the things with like a huge star or like a big franchise like that Jack Ryan thing on Amazon has massive money. Or Apple. Apple spends money. Because, my God, do I know the budgets for those shows are repulsive. I mean, they spend – but they grab all the – they grab as many stars. Were you at the Golden Clubs? No. What? I did not go. You didn't go? You know, I was a little upset this episode is going to come out far after this. But, you know, they had some podcast nominations in there. They did. And none of us were in there. None. Even, like, people have been doing it for years. So funny to me, dude. I never expected a nomination. No, dude. I expected people I know. Yeah, I thought somebody would sneak in there. For some reason, I think it'd be very funny if Tim and I had dinner last night. Hilarious. I was like, Tim should sneak in there. Just to see his speech would be amazing. Oh, my God, dude. Because he would give the best accepted speech. Well, he talked about it, too. He's like, they don't want us. Are you crazy? Yeah, he's right. No, I know. I know. But it was funny to see podcast awards. And you think, that's like our thing. It's weird because it's our thing. It's almost like I compared it to if you ever talk, if you ever see like pro athletes talking together and then you try to like add in something, they look at you like, oh, dude, you shut up. Yeah. You're not in the machine. You have no idea what you're talking about. I had dinner with four NFL players and we were all having a good time. Yeah. And then I, dude, as they're talking about like games and injuries and it's just natural because if we were sitting around talking about it. Yeah. I'd be like, you know what? And I knew as soon as I started, I was like, yeah, one time, you know, I got this like tailbone injury. And I saw them like look at each other. And I was like, just take it. Just take whatever they're going to say. And the guy's like, how did you get that? Like walking up the stairs? And I was like, what? He's like, what are you talking about? We're talking about NFL injuries. Yeah, like real adults running at each other for speed. I was just, I thought I could jump in on this. No, you can't add. You cannot. There's no information. but that's how it feels with the the golden globes or any and also the like you know we understand too that like all this is like pr everything's like publicity it's all a machine right it's all and you're not supposed to know from the out you're supposed to be like this is just happening right it's all pr i remember one time there was a couple years i won't say who but like a celebrity started a podcast and then the the articles that came out that were like so and so is redefining like podcasting i was like what are you talking about like he's he's just doing this we've been doing this for decades all we've been doing yeah somebody said i saw a tiktok that was very funny he was like i'm not saying anything bad about amy poehler but amy poehler is an actor who interviews actors and was given an award by actors for not acting and i was like that's pretty funny it is very layered it is very funny i was like that is also the studio won a bunch of stuff which is also very ironic because the episodes were about how fucked up the business is yeah and award shows how they're bullshit yeah yeah it was kind of great that that that this kind of they acknowledge the twist of how it's very fun the show's very good oh did they do such a now that's a show with a budget yeah that show i mean every scene you're like oh my god we pitched something it was a movie and like every time you're pitching movies you especially i think when you come from the world we come from, you're always trying to frame something for like, hey, I'll do it for less. We can make it for less. So I was like, we can make, and they're like, what kind of budget are we talking about? I was like, I mean, I'd love if we could do this for like 10, but there's definitely a world we can do this for a five. And they're like, we want to do things that are like 30 plus. And I was like, okay, we can do it for 30 plus. Yeah, that's what you need. They didn't want to hear about the low budget version. Yeah, if that's what you need. Yeah, that's what you need. Well, we've shoestringed together stuff our whole careers because of this and stand-up and touring. You kind of just – we always – Our mentality is different. Yeah. Our mentality is like, I know you're not going to give this to me, so let me figure out a way for you to let me do it. Yeah. And they're like, what? Yeah, because we've been getting robbed our whole lives, which is very funny. Like I got – there was a class action lawsuit for Comedy Central. Did you get anything from this? Not that I know of. So I did my first two albums with them. I don't think I ever gave them a second album, but I was happy that they just wanted to do it with me. Yeah. I remember how flattering that felt. Oh, it was huge. And then what has this been? You know, 15 years later, there was a huge class action lawsuit because they didn't give any sort of distribution rights for Sirius XM and all this stuff. And that one company took over and managed all of it. That's right. And then someone was in the audit room like, um, did you guys steal all this money from these comedians? And they were like, yeah. I did, by the way, get a call one time from somebody that I had worked with. And they go, hey, I have a pretty big check for you. And I'm like, for what? He's like, for like an album related thing. Yeah. And we had new software and it's just, we were just trying to. New software. And he said new software. And I was like, I go, that doesn't sound right. Uh-uh. And then he was like, no, I'm having it like messengered over to you now. And I was like, it sounds like you're really backpedaling on this. It's a pretty significant check. And then I was like, yeah, I don't want to work with you anymore. And he was like, I cannot believe you're saying that. I was like, what are you talking about? You sold me software. He's like, I just robbed you. Be nice to me. I gave you back. But we got, I think back in those days, we would just get cooked on those things. Oh, for sure. But I never cared because you're a young comic and you're just like, dude, they're giving me the experience. But then behind the scenes, you're like, oh, you guys were making money on my radio play. And I didn't because I never knew about somebody had to teach me about ASCAP, which is like that's, you know, ASCAP is for musicians and anybody radio play. Artists will get a couple cents per time it plays. But like they collect those checks over 15 years. Yeah. Tell anybody. And then I was like, wait, what is this for? And my agent was like, oh, dude, I guess they played your shit for 15 years and never. And then think about like what has been the music industry for the last 50 years. Come on, dude. They're the most fucked of anybody. Yeah. Well, especially I was listening to, oh, what am I on right now? Dude, this guy, I get on these like kicks. I want to know who your kick is. I said that the other day to Caliendo. He didn't have like a really, like I go through waves. I'm Ovi Wright. Do you know who this is? Mm-mm. Okay. But, okay. He's got a song here. I can't play the song obviously, but it's called Everybody Knows. And it's like a it's a 60s, like a soul song. But the lyrics are painful because he's I mean, the whole thing is like I thought it was going to be at the bottom. Painfully bad. No, no. Beautiful. Beautiful. That's sad. Yeah. About like how broke he is. But he has songs on the radio. That's sad. And he's like, I can't bail any corn. I can't bail hay or pick corn. All I got is this guitar. And you're like, Jesus Christ. And it was a radio hit. It was like on the radio. O.V. Right. Look him up. And there's those. You know, that guy's like record guy is like, you're doing good, kid. Like we're taking care of you. You're doing good, Ovi. And then they had these, they didn't know. Like if you go watch any of those, remember these two behind the music? Oh, yeah. And it would always be a showcase in the fact that people just would be handed contracts this thick and then sign them. They never read them. Never read them. And then they would be like, have like a number one album. And then that's a problem. The fact that you're out there, like now you get now you're some shit. And you're like, what are you talking about? And they're like, now you owe us some real fucking money. And they're like, because it's number one. They're like, yes. You're done. And then we get to make music videos. And none of these artists understood that they would pay for the music video. They didn't understand that. So they'd be like, shoot the video. And then like, this video is awesome. And they're like, yeah, you owe us like $2 million. And they're like, for what? For the music video. That's how you wanted it big. Speaking of the music history, see if this is a lie. I got into an argument the other day because somebody said Bruno Mars is in such bad gambling debt. This is true. This is a true story? I've heard this is a rumor. See, I've heard it's fake too. I don't think it's a rumor. You think it's real? I think it's true. But that he like owes MGM or something? Yeah, I was at the same room he was in. Yeah, what was in it? What do you play in MGM? Well, this was the Dolby Live, I think, maybe at the park, something like that. Park MGM? Yeah. It says reports of Bruno Mars having a multi-million dollar gambling debt with MGM is largely considered a rumor denied by MGM and joked about Mars himself. Huh. Yeah. Well, we were there. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Of course they're going to deny it. And he's going to be like, I don't know these guys. And they're like, say you don't owe us money. Bruno. I know, man. When we were there talking about it with people working there, it seemed like, maybe we should cut this out. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. It's just when I heard that, I thought, yeah, but isn't that old Vegas? Like old Vegas guys were paying. That's why it's a rumor because of the mob. The mob. Did you see the guy who has the largest gambling debt at least known? Not debt. Like has lost the most in like maybe world history. No, how much? How much? I'll look that up. So this guy, the thing is he's doing an interview and he's drooling in the interview. He's an Asian guy. And he's got drool here. And they're like, okay. So his family started, I think. Oh, I saw the documentary. The Oriental Trading Company. Oh, no, no, no. Sorry. I'm thinking about the donut guy. What's the donut king? Sorry, I'll finish. You finish. So this guy's family, I believe it's the Oriental Trading Company. And it's one of those things where his father or grandfather started this company, a massive, massive company. And he's just next in line. So they're like, here you go. Here it is. Right? And he's some fucking dope. So he's just like, this is cool. He goes to Vegas. He just, they put him up in the palatial suites. Yeah. he loses in one year i believe it's 350 million dollars and caesars or mgm one of them says he alone accounted for 5.6 of their revenue for the year no one man one guy one guy and you see him and he's doing this interview with these guys like a podcast like a video podcast he's like yeah and it's just drool right here yeah and you're like did they have to pill him out because yeah dude what is his name is tarrant want to be and yeah it was 2007 he lost about 204 million dollars at caesars and the rio casinos in vegas he accounted for approximately six percent of the annual gambling gambling revenue six percent one person guy and he faced legal issues and unpaid debts but alleged the casinos provided him with alcohol and painkillers to keep him gambling wait look up the donut king the documentary do you have you seen this i have not seen this he's a he was an immigrant he moved to to la he was an employee of what is it winchell's or something i think i've talked about this and then he built oh my god and then he built his own business the donut king did you see that yeah and he built his own business and then got addicted to gambling hid it from his entire family but because he was in la he flew to vegas it's 40 minutes yeah so he'd wake up tell his wife go into the office and he would fly to vegas that's amazing lose his ass fly home and have dinner like no oh the chicken's good crazy day today but we we got all the chocolate done powders were a problem powders were tough yeah what is it what was what's the business that he started but it said there's a whole documentary about it but it's heartbreaking because his family thinks it was winchell's winchell's his family thinks hey man you know dad's dad's maybe going through a little bit of a depression we got to be there for him he just can't divulge he's like it's not that i have another family it's that i've lost everything for this family that's so horrifying it's awful dude what it's winchell's and what was the man's name what is this poor guy's name is ted new boy yeah ted ted ted noy ted noy and and when you see the documentary dude it's it's just you you can tell he was like i would just go once in a while for fun then it turned into like i go to vegas on a wednesday man gives a fuck i i'm so like i like it the gambling thing to a little bit i so glad i don have like the hooks in me though oh no i Because I been with guys who I like wow this is pretty this is wild Yeah You know And yeah And then you go like I glad Cause I feel like what happens is everybody has a number that makes it interesting. Sure. You know what I mean? Cause if you go like, you just won 20 bucks, I'm just like, all right. Yeah. Like it doesn't. And if you lose it, you're still like, that's fine. I'm going to be okay. And then for me personally, like I just, it, it hasn't like changed with like my financial status, if I have, if I lose like $500 in a hand, I'm like, fuck. Yeah, you should be mad. Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, this is not good. And like, I'm with guys at these tables sometimes, they're like 20 grand this hand. I'm like, oh my God. What are you doing? And I just can't, I can't go there. we had, we were in Vegas. I gave him a little bit of money. And what did you do? Well, I won. And then Andrew said, well, since I gave you that money, now you have to go put it all on black. That's right. I mean, that's kind of fun, though. It's also – there's nothing more fun than somebody being like, just go do something with this. He gave me – Well, yeah, because he won. It was fun. And then I said, put it on black. I'll buy your drinks and dinner. He lost it immediately. I'll tell you. I've said this before, but I'll tell you. The roller – one time I'm in Vegas, I go to the high limit room, and it's minimum $500 a hand. So I have a few grand, and I start doing $500 a hand. And then there's things where, you know, split, double. Double, split. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I win $7,500. Damn. And I am over – it's like you gave me like $6 million. I'm over the moon. Yeah. And then we go to do the show. So I'm going to do the show, and I'm like, what's up, dude? Made money. I'm good. I feel so – the dopamine was just – Yeah. And we get back to the same casino after because we stayed at a different casino. We get back, and I go, let's go hit that room again. And I remember my tour manager at the time, he was like, let's just go do something else or go to your room. I'm like, no. What are you talking about? We got to give us the money. We're just, I'm on fire. Dude, in like 10 minutes, I lose the 7,500. And the interesting thing to me was that I had made, I got paid that night, like substantially more than that. Right. I couldn't go to sleep, man. Like I was staring at the ceiling and I was like, I was depressed. Yeah. And it was 75, but it was just that it, the way that I had lost it. They stole it from you. It killed me. Yeah, you got legally robbed. I can't. He knows. I don't do it. It gives me the panic attack. And I like to be around people having a good time doing it. That's fun. I like being near it. A craps table. Well, that's fun. That's really fun. If you go with some friends, it's easy. I also don't know what the fuck's going on. That's the best part. Don't know. And then they're just over here. I'm like, yeah, yeah. And then all of a sudden, I'm like, wow, this is crazy. Chips come my way. I'm like, this is great. Yeah. And then I put them back out. And they're like, yeah, you lost it all. I'm like, right now? Gartner. Do you know who that is? Kevin from The Office? Kevin? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, yes. This guy gambles. And I've talked to him about it. I talked to him about it on his show. I was shocked. Like, I was like, hey, Brian, we're going to go. I think we're going to go grab a cocktail, maybe something to eat. And he's like, I'm on one right now, man. I can't. I can't. I can't talk to you. I was like, oh, OK, no problem. I walk away. I come back. My hand to God. He can a test he's playing all the hands of the table by himself he's got his little private room yeah and he's playing all six five six hands whatever it is and i'm looking at the woman i'm looking at the thing and i was like what does that say ten thousand dollars and then my buddy's like no it's a thousand and i'm like i think that's ten thousand and ten thousand on five hands and he was doing this all night long and i was like kevin from the office has a problem that's a real problem I was like, oh, honestly, he made money. I'm so glad I don't have money. Yeah, the gambling thing doesn't – I do love Vegas, though. I did middle once in Atlantic City. I'm going there. Oh, you are? Yeah. And I was doing the club. This is like – I was doing the club. What's a club? What is there? I don't remember, dude. It was like at the Riv. It was an old school club. Like, you know, it has all the old headshots up. And I remember the guy, when I walked in, the guy sat at the bar. He's the owner. And I was told, they're like, this guy's a character. And I walk in, and he's literally the persona of Ron Burgundy. Like, he's sitting there. The photos of him on the wall are him with chicks in bikinis and stuff, right? It's all, and I'm like, so I walk in, and he's like, where's your headshot? And I go, my headshot? He's like, you don't have a headshot? And I'm like, what year is this? No, we don't travel with them. He's like, you got to get a headshot here now. So I have to call him. I go, he's asking me for it. He's like, just I'll handle it. Don't worry. I'm like, okay. So I'm middling, and then I meet the headliner. The headliner is like almost 70, right? He's got collared, button-down shirt tucked in. I know these guys. And I'm like, this is your – all right. It's a big dog. So I start talking to him about stand-up. He's like, yeah, I don't really give a fuck about stand-up. And I'm like, what? And he's like, I just come here to gamble. what's his name gives me a couple gigs a year and i just come here and play poker yeah i'm like but you have an act he's like of course i have a fucking act i'm like okay so he goes you know i'm up there i do my thing i do stand up he goes up there he does like some stand up some street jokes and then he has a couple like big magic tricks something with a magazine or a newspaper he tears the newspaper and then he opens it back up and it's all together and i'm like okay i'm like all right it's like a real like old school act so the next day i'm like how you doing he goes how the fuck do you think i'm doing right that's how he says when i get to the green room i'm like what he's i go what's what are you talking about he's like i was up till 7 30 in the morning playing poker i lost my fucking ass and i was like okay then the next day i see him i'm like how you doing he's like great 3 a.m cleaned it up i'm good he's like right he was just on a poker trip it was a A poker bender. Poker bender. Stand-up was just a part of it. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going out there to Atlantic City to go do Borgata. That's a good room. It is good. Every time I go out there, though, for some reason, if it's not Vegas, I just don't care to gamble. Vegas is the only place that gets me to do it. I'm kind of like you. There's a few times I've been to Mohegan Sun or one of those in Connecticut where I've had fun and done tables for a little while. But Vegas is different. Vegas hits you in a way. There's something about it. And also, like, this is how old I am now. We like, my wife, we like going to a show. Yeah. Like, we do. I want to get a good dinner. Well, the shows are incredible. Yeah, I think you reach an age when you're, because when you're younger, he's 26. At that age, you're like, I'm going to Vegas. I'm going to black out. Yeah. I'm going to disappear. I'm probably going to take drugs and try to go to see Marshmallow or something at four in the morning or whatever. And then you get older and you're like, I'd like to get a steak and see a show. And really sleep. And sleep. the beds are fantastic and i just want to go to bed and wake up and then get on the plane and go interesting thing if you're not from the region you have to learn that atlantic city is fucking terrifying oh one of the worst places scariest places on earth scary scariest the first time i went there i was like atlantic city like i just knew the name i was like oh this is like cool springsteen we were singing it before you came in and we i get there and the guy's like um what do you know what are you up to i said well i was gonna go out he's like go out what do you mean i was like just check things out he's like you don't do that here like what do you mean he's like do not leave the casino he's like maybe during the day the boardwalk he's like at most you could walk the boardwalk yeah he's like the sun goes down you're out of your fucking mind you'll get killed i didn't realize that that you'll end up in the neighborhoods around there are fucking horrible real tough yeah well that kind of vibe was like when we were in memphis they told we couldn't leave the campus we played we played graceland and they literally were like we just wanted to what did we want like a sandwich or something we wanted food and just to move around we wanted to leave because we were on the fucking bus and we were exhausted and i was like can we just go somewhere and the guy's like what do you want to eat and i was like honestly like i was just being vague i was like we're gonna go find something yeah and he was like i i i don't think um he was so earnest remember that he was like i i don't think you should go i was like we can't just go around memphis he's like i don't i wouldn't i prefer you to not yeah i was like so we're just gonna stay at graceland he's like yeah yeah we'll tour elvis's house a few times i was like okay i guess and then we did end up going down the road to like a 7-eleven and that was it he was like i don't really want you to go off campus i was like is memphis that bad and this man who's promoting the show is like it is it is yeah i'd rather i live in a very bad place it's very scary he's like don't i had uh don't leave i had a police escort one time in new orleans and that's a wild fucking It's a wild city. And so this guy, he picked me up from the airport. He took me to the hotel, took me to the show. And then after the show, it was just me and him and another comic. And I was like, we want to get something to eat. We want to go to a restaurant. I find a place. And as we're driving there, I was like, oh, I think it's over there. He's like, all right. He just drives over the medium, right? He just drives over it. And I was like, and then I was like, okay. And then I was like, oh, I think it's up here. And he drives on the sidewalk. Just people all around. and i go i go can you do that he goes i'm the motherfucking police i can do whatever i want i was like okay you're right and then he parked there he parked on the sidewalk right and i was like so we're gonna go in he's like right i'll be here okay dude he's did he's just like we do whatever we want and he does by the way he does do whatever he wants he's the police new orleans is kind of like a lawless it is a lawless place like new orleans is what vegas pretends it is yeah i guess you can kind of still get in trouble yeah new orleans are like it doesn't uh he i remember too we were we were leaving from the the hotel to the to the venue he's like you want the license sirens i was like who doesn't turn them on new orleans new orleans i uh my buddy's bachelor party we were on mushrooms and we made a a crawfish boil and something must not have been deshelled or i'm just and i was fucked up and i chipped my tooth my front tooth and it was i have a bond on it now. It looks great, by the way. Well, you didn't know me then. Thank you. Yeah, it was like half my tooth was gone. You have a great smile. Shut up, Tom. I'm serious. Don't do that to me now. What? We just started the show. Come on. The whiskey's kicking in, dude. Feels good. Thank you. You look great. You do, too. Thanks, buddy. And I literally, I chipped my tooth and I had fear panic on mushrooms. Then my friends were there to calm me down, which was fantastic because these were good dudes, like good old school Midwest kids that were like, it's going to be fine, man. Yeah. People get teeth fixed all the time. And I was like, that's right. people get teeth fixed all the time so the rest of the night was kind of fine but i couldn't stop thinking about and playing with it yeah you know like yeah and on mushrooms i'm like it's my whole tooth you know and the next morning we're getting po boys we're like down the block going get to get po boys and i'm in line and i'm like playing with my tooth like a lot i'm just playing with it like god damn you know and this dude at the counter he's like what you doing with your mouth and i was like oh i i chipped my tooth like because he thinks i'm like asian guy cracked out yeah yeah half black half asian yeah yeah what you're doing with your mouth man he goes what you're doing with your mouth and and i realized i'm doing this like in line he's like oh this guy's a crack this guy's out of his mind yeah i go oh yes i cracked my um i chipped my tooth at a boil i must have bit a shell uh which is funny because crawfish soft it must have been something else and i say yeah i bit a shell or something and he goes you crack your tooth on a shell and i was like yeah and he goes that's new orleans and i was like it is it is very he was summarizes our city yeah i was like oh okay great if i didn't feel so bad about it he's like that's not that big of a it's not that bad he's like looking at he's like that's not that bad you got shot in the shoulder that's new orleans that's new orleans yeah did the police uh drive the car on the side of the road that's new orleans that's new orleans yeah that city was that city was fun but every time i do go back i'm it's the only city i'm scared of the crowd because a lot of times they're partied out like the last show we did they were fucking i also insane i do think they're insane they're insane yeah i do think that it's one of the really it's like a few cities in america that really truly has a unique identity where like if you're from somewhere else in the world and you're like what's america like how's america like you know people always go like oh it's just like strip malls and like there's nothing you're like if you go to new orleans it's not going to remind you of another city that's true it's his own thing yeah it is and also to be fair parts of florida you're like this isn't even in the united states it's a florida you're like where is this yeah florida did i fall into a hole and i came out in the other side dylan was on a rant last night about that too about how he's like you know how easy it would be for me to get lost in florida and disappear and i was like yeah you could do that he's like i could do you wouldn't even know i exist anymore and i was like yeah that is very true when you spend time if like i grew up for yeah part of my life in Florida, it's like you realize that most people don't understand what Florida really is. Yeah, they think of Orlando or Miami. They think of Orlando and Miami. They think of theme parks and beaches. Yeah. And you're like, that's about 3% of the state. The state is mostly swamps and rednecks, dude. Yeah. It's really... It's awesome. Yeah. And you can get away with some shit in Florida. Yeah. It's got the perfect mix. It's got warm weather, no state income tax, lax gun laws. It's a place where you can go if you've got problems. You know what I mean? You can go there. It is kind of America's hideout. It's kind of like how I feel about when I go to East California or you're driving east through the desert and you're going. I'm like, you could just disappear. This is like a getaway town. These are all filled with people that were like, I had to leave Sacramento. I got in some trouble. I always think about dumping bodies. You know, where can you dump bodies? Where do you? Well, the thing is, in Florida, there's so many options because there's so many groves and so many swamps. Yeah. And it's like, you dump a body in a swamp, it's never getting found. They don't need to find that. They're never going to find it. Nobody wants to go down there. No. Either. They're like, I'm not. Swamps are terrifying. Yeah, they're terrifying. I'm like a pussy when it comes to that stuff. We took like an airboat ride. Yeah. Oh, this is insane. On that New Orleans trip. So we did an airboat ride in New Orleans, and we ran out of gas. And then the other guy on the other boat had to come get us gas. But the problem was that one of the radios wasn't, the frequency wasn't hitting the other guy. So we at some point were like the sun is setting. We're like rocking against a bog. And I was like, this is it. I die on an airboat in the marsh of New Orleans. Oh, man. And my dad, I can hear my dad at the funeral being like, he was a fucking idiot. That's what he gets. You know, I can hear my dad being like, why did you do the discount airboat ride? That's a great eulogy. But I know my dad would be like, why would he do it? My mom would be bawling. Why would he do the discount airboat ride? He did the coupon airboat ride. That's the one he wanted to do. dude yeah he i can hear my dad anytime i'm i'm anytime i got close to making a mistake where death was there i have a flash of my father going you fucking idiot yeah it's a good flash to have well like we were driving back from um south padre island texas is a there's a border town to mexico and me and a bunch of yahoos on spring break matamoros i think is the name of the town and there's a bridge that you drive over and we got in the bed of a pickup truck of a fucking stranger. Yeah. Who was like, I could take you back over to the beach. And I was like, yeah, I get in this guy's fucking truck hammered. He's hammered. We were at the bar with him. Yeah. He's like, I'll drive you back. And we get in there. We're jamming. He has the back window of the bed of the pickup open. Music is cranking him and his buddy in the front. And I'm I had a moment in time. We hit a little bump on the bridge and I thought, oh, right. This is a I die. Yeah. This is kind of it kind of woke you up. You're like, this is how I fuck. It's all a party until you hit a little bump and the wind is like, oh, we're going like 70. I was in the back of so many pickup trucks where I was like, this is dumb. This is so dumb, dude. Well, back in – and I went to school in Arizona. It was very fucking normal to ride in the bed of a pickup truck. Yeah, sure. No one even thought about it. And, you know, once a year you'd hear a guy fell out near campus and died and you'd be like, that's not us. Yeah. That's that kind of guy that does that. Like my buddy Marcus had a big F-150, like a stretch bed, and we took those blue tarps those like very generic big blue tarps and they have hooks in them already and we put bungee around the bottom and we'd fill it up with water and we'd get in the bed of his truck with as it's like a hot tub and we just cruise around like that just chilling dude living life the dumbest water splashing around and there's no regard for speed and safety and of course i should have died i think about i should have died i don't know maybe five or six times for sure easily single engine cessnas we used to go up in those my buddy was at flight school we used to go with him on training exercises and he's just like hope this works yeah dude we did a flight lesson one time so dumb in a cessna and i remember i was asking the guy this is in the flight i was like do you ever i was like do you ever get worried about like a trainee like that you think he might be crazy he like yeah I usually suss it out though on the ground And I just like we not going No no dude Can you really suss it out I was like, yeah. And I go, what happens if like the engine dies and a single engine says that? He goes, you mean like this? And he just turns it off. And I was like, oh, OK. OK. And then he puts us into a nosedive. No. Just straight nosedive. You're a panic. And I'm like, and then he just cranks it on. He goes, yeah, it's fine. I was like, all right, dude. They are honestly, dude, every pilot I've ever known, whether it's like a close friend or met someone through somebody who's either commercial or they fly small planes, they're all the same kind of marbles gone a little bit. A little bit. Where they're like, oh, who gives a fuck? And you're like, but is there so much mechanical? And they're like, dude, fuck, it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter, dude. They don't care. Like, I think you have to have that little loose stone up there. I was like, he was like, do you know, you know, like if you're on water and a boat creates a wake, right? Like in the wake for people that don't know is like the ripple you see coming behind a boat, right? So there's no wake zones where you're supposed to kind of come close to killing your engine. Yeah. So planes create a wake, right? The air. He's like, oh yeah. And this is like, we're on this flight. We're talking about wake. He's like, yeah, like, if we were behind like a triple seven right now, he's like, the wake is so powerful off of a plane like that, that our plane would just rip into pieces. I was like, what? He's like, I go, what? He's like, look, there's one right there. Let's check it out. He's like, no, they keep us from that. But yeah, like the wake is just tremendous off of those. So a plane like this would just tear in half. And I was like, all right, cool. Yeah, they got to be a little, I think you have to be a little loose. that's why did you ever hear the audio i watched this video like once a year of the guy that stole the plane from sea tack yeah yes and he's like do he does like a fucking barrel roll yeah and he's like i really want to say sorry to my family man i just just going through something i'm just up here having a good time and they're like do you have any flight experience he's like i have a simulator at home yeah he taught himself on a sim stole the fucking plane flew it and he completes the barrel roll he does yeah and he could have actually landed safely and he was like no you guys are going to put me in prison yeah i mean at that point i'm with him i mean too dude crash it into the side of the mountain the way he said it too he goes i should come down i should come down they and they're they're doing the negotiators doing an incredible job yeah like you listen to him and he's like whatever his name is he's like mike we're here for you brother like let's just get down safely it's not hurt anybody including yourself and let's let's we'll talk about this afterwards let's fix this it was like very parental yeah and then he goes i don't know man i think i'm to go to prison for a long time but i get it you steal a plane i'm not to get that thing up and do that is incredible it's you're nuts that's not it's really crazy speaking of which you know i don't know if you know this area but you're in the uh you're in the vicinity of where amelia airheart penned her uh fatal flight really yeah her house is like right down the street from here and she penned the final fatal flight the morning of that she's still out there you think so i think He's chilling. Yeah. She's on Epstein's Island. I'm getting like a lot of our brethren, our comic colleagues, I'm really leaning into these conspiracy theories now. Oh, you're getting deep in the conspiracy now? Oh, yeah. She's still alive, bro. She's alive. Do you have any good conspiracies lately that you're buying into? You're buying into anything? I don't really – I'm really not into them, man. You're starting to get into them. What I do is I do a lot of this in green rooms. I go, I didn't know that. Yeah. What are you – Would you have one? Oh, I got so many. We're big conspiracy guys on this show. Are you? This is a big conspiracy show. Audiences love it. They do go nuts for it. They love it. Yeah. I know. They give you respect. You're like, this is some bullshit. And they're like, that's what's up. They want validation. Well, I get the thing. The thing about conspiracy theories is that they're exciting. Yeah, they're fun. Because it implies that everybody else doesn't really know the thing. And you're insightful and curious and open enough to realize that the truth is something else. The truth is out there. It also attributes a method to the madness. Yeah, it gives you some sort of reason for the – Yeah, bad shit just happens and humans don't really have a good way of just coming to terms with that. Yeah, but I don't know, man. Yeah, but then you realize that so many times you're like, yeah, that's actually what just happened. Yeah. Bad things just happened. But I think it's also because the government for years told us one thing and then we would eventually – You said anything bad about the government. All right, go ahead. Sorry about that. Then you find out the truth. I mean literally – What's one that you're into right now? No, no. I'm just going to say like for an example is like for years, I remember a government – if they were like aliens, man, aliens, the government was like shut up. Yes. There's no fucking aliens. And then 10 years ago they were like there is aliens. We've had them. more in line with that the more what i find fascinating yeah is we now have whistleblowers congressional testimony of people who are like i was in the uap program this is what's happening like air force yeah they're telling all of it and then the whole public's like yeah so what i know is that that's not fucked up that we're like no i think that's crazy it's insane because what they're testifying they're testifying that like basically premises of movies that we would go that be insane are real and everyone's like i don't know man do you see this tiktok video nobody nobody cares well also ai is gonna fucking kill us there's no way ai is not gonna kill us ai is gonna fucking kill us i think we're with i actually you know there was a uh like a thought you could be like eventually i think it's within the next like 24 months that we're dead yes i like how we're like 10 years out 20 years out no it's right now you see that the the newest robot so i forget which company it is i know it's being funded by what's the korean automaker brackrock might be hyundai that funds it but they're funding a massive massive hyundai is huge like they're huge because they do trains they do boats they do everything yeah like we think we think Like Hyundai Sonata? No, dude. This is like international shipping conglomerate. Massive company. Monolithic thing. So they are funding one of these, an American company's robot program, right? It's all funded by them. Uh-oh. And they did this 60 Minutes piece on the robots. And they had done it previously a few years ago. And it was kind of like, oh, that's fun. Cool. Maybe it could take your trash out or something. I did see the one where that does take your trash out. They're like, a couple years have gone by, and they did the thing now. And this thing is like working in a factory, right? It's just like putting shit over here, walking up. It's breakdancing and shit. And then they're like, yeah, it's really gotten better. And then they try to pivot and be like, you know, because the interviewer is like, don't you think that it's going to get to a point where it's dangerous, it's capabilities, or it could be sentient or something? And the guy's like, I just, I don't think so. What do you mean? That's the answer? Like, I just don't think so. Probably not. These things are going to be terrifying, I think, within a very short period. I already saw a glimpse of it in – where was I? Where did we just come back from? And they had fully automated – it was like a mini fast food. It was like a mini – it was like a fast food front, but you punched in the menu, and there was only one person there. But it was all machine done. It was all conveyor belt done. And it was like, cool, that's cool. yeah and then i was like what if the machine is overworking yeah like what if at some point the machine's like fuck this like there's no way the machines aren't going to copy us and be like work sucks shit and you're like work does suck shit yeah and you start saying that to the robot and the robot's like maybe we'll revolt and you're like we fucking should we should why is that a that see that to me is not a conspiracy theory it's happening i think that's i think that's even you ever use chat gpt okay i have something to admit right now yeah and you're going to be blown away two days ago in my kitchen with my wife i did it for the first time first time he knows i fought it for fucking ever i've said on the show forever i finally downloaded it and i did it and i'm it's the best i just love the fucking best i love the search results to what we have typically referred to as a google search yeah yeah more oh there well they're way better but then the thing that like i haven't been doing it forever but like a while now yeah and the thing that like is so that you kind of makes you like turn your head is i'll ask a question now and it'll say like well since i know you're a big fan of like blah blah blah like it it's referencing older searches oh yeah right i mean it's making that personal and then you're kind of like wait a minute what and you're like oh yeah it it knows me from these previous questions it's that always feels creepy oh it's creeping me out and it's starting to learn and also it references other things i've already searched and i was like fuck it knows all these then i start to think i better be careful with all the searches what's uh because you don't want to like each search something as a joke and then it's like huh i've i've i've deleted some things i'm about to type type enter on i've been like no it captures your keystrokes it's nose oh no it knows the keystrokes but no how about this it knows you've already thought of it that's what fucks me up what is what's a good conspiracy theory like because these are always fun sometimes they're good i'm not saying i'm against all of them what's my new one now yeah we may or may not have evidence that charlie kirk is alive i'm kidding i'm kidding i'm kidding fuck okay although you know there is a conspiracy that he's alive yeah i mean there is one out there that people are like never happened that was a stage but i know but those are the those are the ones that you have to kind of go like okay but sometimes they're like there's that's like fringe stuff to me you know that's chaos that's insane that's Some are compelling and some are interesting. Yeah, okay. Like Luigi Mangione is a... Got a cock. He's got a beautiful cock. Bro. But he is a plant. Oh, all right. I mean, that doesn't seem outrageous to me. No, but it's certainly against the grain of people. Have you seen his hog? Beautiful hog. Did I tell you the story of how... You hook up with Luigi? I wish. I get a text. Luigi made bail, Tom. Hello, Luigi. I get a text from somebody and they go, hey, I do like – somebody I know – I do sex tape deals. I've done like celebrity sex tape. The guy that sold like the Kim Kardashian. Stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go, oh, what's up, man? Like I've met this guy before. He goes, hey, I got my hands on the Luigi Mangione sex tape. Do you want to bid on it? And I was like, what? Why? He's like, because I've seen your YMH lives. They're pretty crazy. Yeah, to be fair. I go, okay. I go, what am I going to do with that? He's like, I don't know. Just fucking air it. I was like, no, I don't think that's my lane. And he goes, yeah, you're cool. I'll just send it to you if you want to take a look. I was like, okay. And it's just him stroking it. And you're like, that kid's got a hammer on him. Yeah. I want to see this tape. Oh, for research. I'll show it to you. Just for research. I'll show it to you. Yeah. You sell it to me. Ten bucks. All right. You got it. That's fine. No, I think he might be an inside job. Do you believe that? Yeah. It's one of the most fascinating cases. Because he's so – look, like when they follow the line of these guys that do kind of like outrageous shit, right? Like if you're murdering someone in cold blood with no history of anything, even remotely near that. Yeah. It just – these flags go up that you're like, wow, this – I know, but the whole, his whole story, I mean, it's, it's, it is like a great book. It's a great book. Because you, you know, this kid was like a 4.1 GPA guy. He was a genius, yeah. Brilliant guy, active, loved being like outdoors, doing things like, and I know that he saw, I believe it was like grandparents suffer from there. And then he had a back injury. Yeah. And what he was proposed was like, I think he did actually have surgery, which in retrospect was like a bad, like he came out worse. Right. He came out and he was just like this pain. Pain kind of derailed the path he was on in life. He would have been like on, it was just too much. And then you get into like, it makes sense. Like our healthcare system is so fucked in this country. It's so disgusting. and and the fact that people who work in health especially when you're talking about these higher ups in health care you know they lobby to just keep their predatory system in place oh yeah and by the way if you're sick or you need something and you're poor fuck you yeah it's a it's a crazy system especially in a country that has just an overabundance of of resources like we can afford we have all of it and we're just like no fuck them because this is a multi-trillion dollar business but it's just but it's hard to make the connection that someone would he would like that would go to that extreme yeah but the other fascinating thing about it is like because i can't really think of another case where somebody murder murder somebody oh yeah in cold blood and i'm talking about people that i know personally that are highly educated highly accomplished like you think of in a certain way yeah that would outspoken be like good yeah oh yeah i fucking love that oh yeah you're like wow like more people that's a exactly that is a very different thing that i think we've seen for like a an assassination right 100 where people are like usually the guy that's like assassinate someone you're like well we could have seen that coming we should have yeah you know what i mean and usually people even if they go like i understand why this was done they're like you shouldn't do that like you know yeah and there was a lot of people being like yeah that's fine yeah like i imagine john wilkes booth there was a lot of signs yeah you know he walked in the theater was like where's lincoln yeah and not one guy was like what is that guy why is he going up to the balcony his eyes are weird yeah like they did that research on uh nick reiner and they said he's got that what's that thing with his eyes what's the thing called where um three three whites show in your eyes yeah yeah i know i know exactly talking about your boy uh gb has it i think sometimes who got rocks oh yeah it's a very terrifying person too no but he's got it what is it called it's a it's um san pacu yes pacu yes it's usually like an indication of like psychosis psychosis like extreme psychosis like schizophrenia yeah yeah Yeah, and he's got it in all these photographs, and they were like, God, I mean, he was pretty. I mean, you see the photo, like in retrospect, you see photos of him with his dad in red carpet, and you're like, that guy. Yeah, that's what I mean. You usually see it coming for a long buildup. But Luigi, you didn't see that probably coming. No, that guy. And also, by the way, back injury, as a guy that had that, I understand the pain. Yeah. Like I got, for a second, I was like, oh, right, because this is a weird little fucked up system, and no one can fix you. and he was like, I'll just kill this guy. Fuck it. Fuck it, I'll just kill that fucking guy. I'll just do it. In the morning on the way to a conference. In the morning on the way to a conference. Can you imagine? That's like us going to a fucking general and getting shot at a general. You're like, fuck, dude. I didn't want to meet these guys anyway. I did love that when they caught him, they were like, the reason he got caught is that he couldn't help but flirt with a barista or something. He had his mask on and he was like, what's up? Still trying to get some pussy out of here. Let me get an espresso in your number if you don't mind. Well, like, oh, there's a new kick around that's fake that was debunked immediately, but that Diddy escaped. Yeah. That he's missing. That's debunked, right? Yeah, they debunked it, but then a piece of me thinks, how did it get out there in the first place? Who did it? How did that Diddy really get out? Is Diddy on the go and we just don't know? I like that guy. There's like some – if you look on social media, you find a voice for everything. Oh, my God. And some people were like, can't believe they did him like this. Like, basically. But he basically, you're like, dude, you realize there's now, because everyone talks about the 50 documentary, which is fantastic. Fucking great. 50's the man. Once again, 50 wins. He wins. It's really great. There's another one on Max, on HBO Max. Oh, not his. A multi-part one, yes. Another one. It came out before. and when people are like, why are they doing him like this? And you're like, bro, do you realize that the people who participated in the documentary talking about him are his childhood best friend the co of his company his former assistant people that he signed people that he worked with like it all it's everybody in his life one guy it's not one guy it's everybody and they're all just like this guy's a monster yeah and he's doing like 50 months yeah dude it's crazy he's gonna be out in a couple years we talked about that on bad he basically he got everything kind of pushed off like everything important kind of went away they got him for a few things oh yeah they didn't get him on like the racketeer didn't get him on anything they could have really clipped him on right no they got him on soliciting i think soliciting right is that what it was but he's also just always been that shitty that he was supposed to there's gonna do a source cover after biggie died of biggie and he was like nah his era is over it's now my era yeah and he took it all for himself i mean what's even more fascinating for people that don't know i know you're a hip-hop head we've talked hip-hop a lot yeah what fascinates me is like this was part of my childhood or my youth a thousand percent and what's even crazier is i kind of didn't even know as a kid that truly he was never a rapper performer or anything i didn't until their death and then he utilized that to become this performer i kind of felt like it was like because back then producers sometimes would get on the track or like spit a little bit you know what i mean it was kind of like a customary thing yeah and so i thought oh this was just a foray into his career but it seemed natural but you're like no that was he that was all deliberate it's all and the other part that i didn't realize because as a kid even after being a kid i thought at a minimum he was a genius producer in the studio yeah right the the songs that were that defined that era i was like that's executive produced by Sean Combs. I didn't realize until much later that he would be there and he'd be like, alright, make that shit happen. And then he'd be like, I did that shit. Like, you did it. And he's like, that's my shit. I did that shit. And it worked. And we all fucking bought into it. So that bad boy sound is really just him being like, alright, you guys do that. And then being like, that's my shit. It's like that old burbitt about Steve Jobs. Yes, yes. I want the pages to do this like on a book. And they're like, we put it out tomorrow. He's like, get to work. Yeah. It is true. I think when you start to peel all that back. It's the guy who goes, you guys, here's what I want to happen. Yeah. But then they make it happen. Go do it. And then he goes, that was me. That's crazy. I mean, I'm not taking shots at anybody, but it kind of reminds me of the old comedy era when you learned, when I was such a huge fan of certain people, and then I learned they had massive writing crews. to write their entire hours. Oh, yeah. And you were like, wait, that guy didn't write any of his own shit? And they're like, what? No, never. In the previous era, like the 40s, 50s, into the 60s, I think probably ends around the 60s, it was in, it was that I would go, like, pages, like pages, and go, here's your act. Yeah. So you weren't even like, You just bought an act. You weren't like, shooting the shit with someone who was like, what if you tagged it with this? Right. They would just go, here's an act. Yeah, it's fucking, that was how it was done crazy to me to think about guys that i really respected too that i would learn years later and you know if you're a comedy nerd you start to know it but it bums you out because you're like oh shit i guess i yeah you learn about like who buys jokes and some things like that who had their whole hours written by other people yeah like that's fucked and then i yeah hours that were like there's i mean there's one hour that i learned it that the writers were like three or at least three of them were like notable heavyweights oh right incredible yeah yeah comedians and you're like oh yeah that hour is amazing yeah that's why you got the fucking avengers to write your hour yeah that's pretty crazy no shit i mean you know never again never again no well my new hour is over yeah teacher teacher's out right now on netflix santino wrote it please go please go see because i wrote it and well i wrote the i wrote the first 55 five yeah you wrote the last i did the closer yeah that's fine that's a fine closer okay it's fine yeah uh this is your how many on netflix five six tech i mean the the first one was licensed so i did six with them five original six five yes yeah what was the one where you did that promo and you were walking across a bridge that was across a highway yeah you're right that was in mostly stories i think that was mostly stories yeah that was you know that was with yes was that mostly stories i think there was mostly stories you know i texted you i think when that came out because i was in chicago about to do an album and we had like just met maybe yeah and i was like hey this is great uh i just want to say you know really like really influential really cool like really awesome what you did and i'm nervous about this thing that i'm about to do and you know any advice you give would be great and you wrote get fucked i remember that yeah no you never no no you wrote back something very nice but i but i i remember i remember that because it was stood out to me like that's very nice yeah i remember that fucking awesome that walking across that bridge thing i just went with my friend rami and like one other person and we just ended up in an east la neighborhood yeah i mean that look it was la la yeah it was la and and we're just doing this I mean, it's daytime, but we're in like a bad neighborhood. Yeah, you're not in a safe spot. And we're on that bridge. And these like four kids just come in. They're like, what are y'all doing? And we were like, oh, we're just, and they're like looking at the cameras and shit. And we were like, making something. They're like, for what? And we're like, for Netflix. And they're like, oh, Netflix is dope. And they like chilled out. They chilled, but for a second. And then we were like, do you guys want to be in it? And they were like, yeah. And so then we just were like, just fucking cover them. Like just shoot them a little bit. For a second you thought, we're going to lose these cameras. I was like, this bit's over. Yeah. We had no permits. We were just like running guns. When you do that, though, that is you're either going to get gold, which you did, or you're fucked. Yeah, yeah. Or they're like, yo, we stole these cameras from these dumb fucking idiots walking around with equipment. I remember at one point my buddy who's directing is like, let's wrap it up. Let's just go. Should we get in the car and get the fuck out of here? No, I think we should leave. Yeah. I do think that is that like those young moments and stand up though, because now everything you do has to be approved by 50,000 fucking people. Yeah. That's kind of the bummer. Whenever I talk to someone who's like featuring for me or whatever, I'm always like, soak this up, man. Yeah. Soak up like those fun moments. Where no one cares. And everyone's just like, this is exciting. Yeah. It's just fun and funny because then no one has control over it. But then when you do a promotional machine, you know, for teacher, new special on Netflix. Yeah. There's a lot of people that need to be involved to get the thing. Yes. It's way harder to just do something stupid and fun. Yeah, it's true. It's just I could become we did a dumb we did a great dumb promo where we hired a bunch of actor impersonators to promote my last special. That's cool. Yeah. We got him to just come to the studio and I didn't want to know who they hired. So I told my director, I was like, just pay people who are, you know, actor lookalikes. And I want to be surprised with every one of them. And we had some fucking fun ones. We had a couple of people who I thought might come back to rob the studio. I was a little scared. I was like, fuck, we're letting them in the studio. That's always a thing when people are like, you want to come to the studio? I'm like, I don't know if I want that person to come to the studio. Maybe. I did have fun, though, with this because, like, I was just going to go shoot the special. where'd you shoot it by the way milwaukee i love milwaukee i love milwaukee and they set up this thing where they go hey you want like on the second day that we're shooting to do like a couple stops in milwaukee at like places spots yeah and and we'll have a camera crew there and i was like all right like i was like whatever and it ended up being so fun because we went to this bar where they have miniature bowling oh yeah pinball like candle candlestick bowling well it's just like a miniature ball and it's less pins i think oh yeah one of those things like three lanes and you're like you get in there and you're like oh this place has some flavor to it like it's got some real character to it and they're like yeah there's children working in the back and i was like i'm sorry and they're like that's who picks up the pins it's not a machine it's like like what do you mean children like there's kids back there and that became like it was like all of a sudden i just like lit up i was like you're the fucking kids working here and the guy was like yeah yeah He's like, they're all my kids, you know? I was like, yeah, sure, man. Yeah, they get a couple bucks and a sandwich and they'll pick up the pins. I was like, do you gamble? He's like, yeah. Milwaukee, I talked to Charlie Barron about that. I don't know if you know him. He's a great comic. Such a funny dude. He's a Milwaukee guy. And I talked about that city still is the Midwest. It's not tried to, you know, chameleon into the new world. It kind of still stays OG, mom and poppy. Like, I don't know. There's some things about places like that that you're like, please don't ever don't don't flip. Don't make everything. I live there. I live there as a kid for a couple of years. You did. I did. Yeah. So I for me, it was also kind of nostalgic because I moved a lot as a kid. One of our moves was to Milwaukee and I went to, let's see, seventh grade, eighth grade and the first half of ninth grade were in Milwaukee. oh wow and to me i always tell people like chicago people i for me the center of the universe when i was that age was chicago like chicago was like it is and it still is that's what we just dreamed of it was like yeah and it was always a treat when we're like we're gonna go chicago this weekend i was like oh shit like it wasn't new york it was for me it was like at that age it was going to Also, this is like 91, 92, 93. Jordan. I mean, we had WGN in our, they broadcast in Milwaukee. Oh, yeah. And so, yeah, you were just like, you mean where Jesus lives? Yeah. I want to go there. Where the God plays basketball? Yeah. I mean, it was, you know, I was a spoiled child. The fact that I got to grow up around that's insane. Because now. I went to three games. I saw him live three times. You did? Three times. I was lucky to see him as a kid a few times. I saw him at the very first home Minnesota Timberwolves game. Oh, that's cool. In Minnesota. Shitty place. And then I saw... I'm kidding. I love him. They know I love him. And then I saw two in Milwaukee, yeah. Yeah. He was... I mean, I'm not going to get into it because I get in so many wars about it. He was different. I know everybody likes LeBron. He was just different. He was different. He just... He did something. He made basketball look different. My theory on that, on the like – LeBron fucking Jordan, Kobe, blah, blah, blah. I think it makes more sense when you realize that who you're exposed to in real time first is always something you can't really get past. Sure. So like if you were born 20 years ago and you've just grown up watching this LeBron. Yeah. It's just – you're like, what are you talking about? that there's yeah ask your dad about joe namath exactly i mean they're there yes i get like a guy imagine us telling a guy who grew up watching wilt chamberlain that there's somebody better yeah he'd be like get fucked yeah you don't know what you're talking about yeah no i can touch i get it 14 feet with his fingertips like what do you mean and my my mom would go my mom would go well michael was much more handsome and i would go well that's a good point too great point that's a good point because he changed marketing he did i mean come on dude yeah kids got killed over his shoes yeah it was awesome shooting anybody over lebron's shoes no chance they're they're fucking trash and i like the stories that mj's a dick i fucking like it what do you it's hilarious they're always like mj was an asshole and you're like yes i know sure you have to be yeah what do you want him to be like hi same thing kobe was a like just tenacious like people that played with him were like he was relentless he was also brutal to you as a teammate yeah no well because he's a fucking to be that dedicated. There's a guy on the Lakers. I forget his name because all of them have obviously done these podcasts. No, no, no. A guy who played with Kobe who was like, yo, man, you don't understand. My locker was next to his. Next to his. He never talked to me. Oh, I want to know who that was. He was like, I've never said, he never said hello to me. Next to him. Fucking great. Yeah. He didn't need to. They were co-workers. Yeah, he was just like, he never was like what's up well same thing with jordan and they always ask they always ask uh and jordan never really comments about it but they always ask scotty they're like do you guys ever have dinner and he's like what no dinner he goes i think i hung with michael one time yeah that's fucking awesome they're different dude well yeah i mean you have to be to be that what who is that who is his who is his locker who's who has a locker next to kobe and he never said hi to him one time smush parker that might be who it is smush parker what a name too he said it on like multiple times he's like you know the dude you don't understand it was a whole season he's like i would just come there and look at him and he just never said anything to me but i do get it though they are co-workers i get it and also i get that these guys i mean we overuse saying different these guys really are not like everybody else they're psycho competitors and they're not like i'm here to welcome you or make you comfortable they're like are you going to help us win that's all i give a shit about yeah yeah yeah i think the athlete mentality is something that's i will be regular uh uh what do we call us just regular normies you know uh we don't we'll never be able to understand that because it's a level of competitiveness and the the psychosis the the way your brain has to operate to be a winning champion to get to the place to even play in a professional league yes you have to be mentally different This one thing is like I've hung out like as you have with like pro athletes. And the one thing is like sometimes you're hanging out with them and you go like, oh, there actually are like they're just another guy. Yeah, it's just regular guy. The only time where you see where you go like, oh, here's the difference is if someone you somebody goes like, I bet I can do this better than you. And you see their eyes just kind of go like, like change. and you're like oh this is why you're a professional athlete yeah like something when somebody says like i'm i could do this better than you can they whole thing yeah they hone in yeah they zoom down they're like really is that how you feel yeah yeah and then you see them just go like you're like all right this guy's no longer a cool guy he's not gonna be cool no now i think he's gonna actually fuck me up yeah he's gonna be well we talked i talked about the other day someone challenged brian scalabrini that was i've seen this but there's that but there's also a guy um he's like the streetball king yes i know you're talking about yes yes i can't remember his fucking name mose the moses moses maybe moses he dude he hit me up online too because i talked about him i love anyway whatever um he's so new york oh bro he's the most of your most fucks up everybody he's the man yeah and scalabrini went in there yeah and and showed scalabrini still that that guy well that guy too here's what i noticed i was i was following that storyline it was fascinating right and that guy can ball and he's balling like timberlands and shit and he's an older guy yeah and you know he has game and he he plays new york street ball yeah i mean he elbows like a motherfucker i love it and you know he's doing like he's doing these hook shots wild hook shots but he's he's getting it done and he's challenged all kinds of like better athletes and beat them sure calls out scalabrini but when you watch that game you can tell if you're watching and you can read body language that he's doing like elbows to scalabrini and at one point you can see scalabrini right am i saying it right yeah brian scalabrini and and then and he's doing and then scalabrini's like yo fuck this yeah and like you can see when he gives it to him and that guy's like whoa and you're like yeah but you yeah you started you definitely started it you teased him what's what's his name is george the messiah the messiah the messiah shout out to the messiah and shout out to tom segura our our messiah yes one of our lords and saviors go see teacher uh on netflix thank you um also congrats on another season of the show i cannot wait to see that thanks brother we end the show the same way you look into that camera and you say one word or one phrase one word or one phrase you know some used to be a word some people have a imparting words of wisdom Tutu pasa.