Lushious Massacr's Plan for World Peace Through the Booty Hole with Trixie and Katya

Hey Ro, to a very excited to announce our 2026, very bald, very beautiful tour. You thought we were bald before? You thought we were beautiful before? Maybe you ain't seen nothing yet? We're coming to Boston, we're coming to Seattle, and probably some more. Use code V-E-R-Y to buy tickets at tricksthinkati.com. Don't just see any cross dressers, see the cross dressers. Hey, Tricksth, where did they get tickets? Get your tickets at tricksthinkati.com. Wow! So here we go. You are not just a fire, you're a quiefer. I'm, yeah, I can do both, yeah. Double trouble. Double trouble. Why don't you do a gas release? Yeah. And I have to guess if it's a quiefer or a fire. That's a fire. That's a fire. Correct. Do you know why I think I know that? I think a quiefer has more of a like... Because of the... I don't know. Really? I think they both sound very similar. You able to do a quiefer to hear the difference? She did a quiefer on command. Okay, to it. Okay, what about this one? Was that a... A thief? That was a thief. Girl, can I just say... Welcome to the pod. I don't know why. I don't know why. Oh my God, that's exactly why I came here. You got in the debauchery. To sit here for her to show that to you. Well, actually, let me tell you this. Have you... What do you... What would we call... Because you know when the girls are getting pounded down and the booty holes just loose... And it starts making like fart noises, but it's not a fart. But she's talking. She's talking to you. It's gibberish. What would you call it? Making that ass talk. Okay. It's like a... Would it be like a buff? Well, it's like, you know how... You want to make it clap? You want to make it talk. I don't want to be fucked in a way where my body is making completely out of control, like rhythmic... Like... Well, no, no, no. It's not like a seizure. It's not like a booty seizure. It's just like a... It's just things that... What about cream? Have you ever creamed? Do you ever get so pounded, so disgusting that you just start like fuzzling cream out of your booty hole? No, that's shit. It's kind of a bourbon glaze. No, no, no. It's not brown. It's completely white cream. It's like Thousand Islands? Yeah. Yeah. It's like a little ranch. Like, no. There might even be a little foam. There might be foamy. I think... I think we got whole milk latte. But have you ever creamed? That's my question to you. Oh, no. No, it's never been that serious. After that happens, I... I creamed and squirt. I don't relate to... I squirt, too. I don't relate to like windows open, full light, spread the hole, net it open. And then after the sex, we're not going to clamp me open and all take a look. Like, once things have happened, I'm like... Like, cover everything. Throw the tarp over the bottom, like that drop of Jurassic Park. Cover the dig. Like, you know what I mean? Because we've been dug out. So officially, Trixie Mattel is not ran through. No, she's a pilgrim woman with the tightest little pussy you've ever seen. She takes care of her booty home. No, it's not that I have not had done sex things. When it comes to anal penetration, I need to be in love pretty much. Okay. But when you are in love, you do let them go in there and destroy the house. Of course they bought the house. Ran the sex. They own the house. They live in the house. Okay. Squatters. Okay, I love that. Obviously, if you guys are listening, we have the one and only Luscious Massacre in the studio. And I do hope you are watching. Because you are about to have the hardest to mess and boner you have ever had in your life. What do you mean? Looking at your gorgeous body and face. Oh, I will say, I do love that I came on here and y'all are just men. We don't dress up for this. Just looking like dudes. This is the only thing we don't dress up for. Excuse me. Oh, sweetie. Wait, is that a wig? Is that a wig? Don't do this to me. Is that a wig? Because I was about to say the balls are beautiful. And I know these girls are bald. She got her shrubbery on you. You said, is that a wig? Oh my God. Girl, it looked like a moth. Isn't it hard to present as male? You don't find it. She does. Girl, her fucking wig. I find it difficult. Her wig looks like lichen growing on the side of a moth. Like I literally scalped a 17-year-old skater. OK. You know what I mean? What's your, do you, did you ever experiment in like a boy look? I'm currently going through a phase right now where I'm like, when I'm a woman, I'm a woman. And when I take the wig off, I try to be a man. But naturally, I'm just so feminine. I'm such a, you know, I call myself a creature during the day. Creature. Yeah, I got no brows on. Mary, that's what we've talked about this so much. My hairline looks crazy. Like in what world do I look like male? But I try. I try to present. My fav is when the girl's out of drag. They look like they're doing a drag king turnabout show. They have basically the chin strap on and the fedora. Oh, see that. And they walk into the club perpetrating. Oh my God. And you go, is that Mariah? You know, like, I'm not, I'm from the school of if you're a goddess at night, you're a goblin during the day. Yeah. Those are my favorite kind of drag queens. Me too. The ones during the day, you don't even look like you belong in society. Yeah. Like it's very Middle Earth. Oh, it's Middle Earth. You look like a creature. Like a monster from another planet. Like you sacrifice your masculinity for drag. You do. That's old school drag. It is old school. A lot of the kids these days really don't want to do that. Because it is hard. Like when I, well, you know, the kids nowadays, they're just having fun. These kids. Yeah. With their wet hair and no titties. Thank God. Thank God there's a woman in here today who's willing to talk about it. Because all these girls, they might have wigs and they might have dresses, but I don't know if the girls are doing drag. It's because you know what it is too. A lot of the girls now it's paint by numbers. They're inspired by all these queens that came before. They're at the paint girl in pottery studio. Yes. Oh, they got the YouTube. It's hard to find originals anymore. Well, because they're at the drink and draw. Drag. They're at the drink and draw. I don't just playing and makeup and wigs. The girls. It's Halloween all year for the girls. It's Halloween on your. No, listen, this Halloween I didn't do any. They were like, what are you going to do for Halloween? Be a man. Sweetie, I've been doing Halloween all day long. All year long. I'm tired of it. I get like volatile when people are excited about Halloween. I want to go like, you think your costume is something. Yeah. You look like shit. You look like shit. We've been doing this out here in the street. We were doing this during Easter, bitch. I was in drag during Valentine's Day. Divorce court. I'll be doing this. I'll be in this on November 1st, the day after Halloween. Right. Right. Baby, I've been in drag all year long. I'm tired of this. I'm exhausted. Just give it up at this point. I have some questions. I met you years and years ago. Have you met her before? I don't. When I don't. You have. Let me tell you this. She met me once. It was at a drag con. I was coming out. She was going in. Was it in New York? You were so nice to me. She looked, she took one look at me and she said, bitch, you look sick. You are in drag. And I said, why? Yes, I am in drag. Because, you know, back in those days, I would paint. Was it LA or New York? Must have been LA. It was LA. Okay. Because New York. You don't even like to travel. No. New York. I couldn't smoke. I was not in a good mood. Okay. Yeah. You, your old paint, as we all learned you when I met you, when I learned you, it put, it made me, Kim Chi, the rest of us look like we were just little girls with no makeup on. Yes. You were painted. Rabbit dogs. Like verbatim out of your mind. Wow. I think that's what happened to you. And I was such a fan of y'all. Like that world of drag where, you know, Kim Chi, Trixie. Me. Bianca Del Rio. Like the clowns. The goonery. The clowns. Yeah. Did you ever, have you ever had sex in that clown makeup? Just once. Okay. Was it, what was it giving? Miss Piggy. Well. From a one to a 10. I was just happy to meet my dad. I'm just kidding. Just kidding. I've never met my dad. Next question. But when I met you, it was this big, beautiful, elaborate, like theatrical, Chinese New Year. Disney presents. It would take me like six hours to just do my makeup and then another hour to get dressed. And the makeup was so big. It's too much. Everything that was sharp was sharp. And everything that was blended was blended to death. Six. Six. It would take me six. It was like an eight hour day just to get ready. And then what happened? And then what happened? Turned the camera on. Oh my God. You showed up on my feed in your new look doing drag, transvestigate, drag, transvestigate. Dragvestigations. Questions. I added trans. Transvestigation. Dragvestigation. Basically the same thing, honey. Only your voice is how I even picked up. This is, is this her? You didn't even recognize me. No. Because I met you out of drag and I met you in drag, but I hadn't seen you in this kind of glamour plus version. Like I'm more of a woman, more soft and feminine. I'm going through a metamorphosis like Hillary Duff. I'm like, I'm going to be a woman now. And I'm just going to do, this is the face that I got. I'm going to. This is very Hillary Duff. I'm just going to go, right. This is Hillary Duff. Right. When she was out in Rome, living her life in the scooter with Paolo and Paolo was pounding her down. I'm over here getting, I'm getting pounded by Paolo, bitch. I'm over here getting pounded by Paolo. And so now I'm just a soft woman with a little bit of makeup and just being feminine. But also, well, first of all, it still takes a lot of skill to put on this beat. We're making this sound like this is a, who cares? The, the stones are so bewitching. Yeah. And it's not like, girl, when I put on these fucking stones, these like, these like the plastic go to the obstetrician. She's like the cheap, like Hobby Lobby, the crystals, the big girl, whatever's on the floor in the studio. Whatever you chicken fine. She's not bothered. These are so, there, you've got like multi tones. They're so bright. They're so, they're bewitching. Thank you. I look like I have like iridescent moles or like, or like this is gorgeous. Well, I'm from Texas. You know the Texas girls they put on? We're in Texas. Paint. I'm in the south, Rio Grande Valley, Brownsville, Texas. Oh, I've been to Brownsville. No, you haven't. Yes, I fucking have. What's the gay club there? We had, we've, girl, they've all closed. We had like Studio 69, Valentino's. Oh, I don't know. I didn't show their ones. Jinx did the same theater once. Or it was a bar. I did it there. And it was right up, at the time that is the closest I was to Mexico. Yes. Because it really is San Antonio. It's the five minutes. You could just cross over. Yeah, little piece of trade down in Mexico. It's not near San Antonio. It's like four hours south of San Antonio. Where I'm even, I'm all the way down. I thought San Antonio was like right next to Mexico. Brownsville is the city. When I tell people I've been there, Texas people go, you have? They act like it's a remote thing. Yeah. Unless you have a reason to go. Yeah. Do you like Dallas? I love Dallas. I love Houston. I love San Antonio too. Because San Antonio is just so Mexican. It's so pretty. The Riverwalk is very pretty. San Antonio is pretty. Every fucking city in Texas that welcomes drag is so cunt. They just fucking, ugh. You got your, well they're nice to your face. Because they are bitter about it. That's okay. When I leave, they can be bitter. Yeah. The girls in Texas, they're very old school. Like you got to be wearing rhinestones and sequin and huge hair. And you got to be wearing clown white. You got to be paint. You got to have a little black on the cheek. Like they don't play. Wow. So if you come in there, you're just wearing a little blush and a lash, they'll be nice to you. But as soon as you walk away, they're like, did you see that brick? She had no makeup on. She's from Rupon Stragger. She got all that money. She got no mug on. Like that's what they would say. Protect the bricks. Yes. I do think in Texas, I always felt like, because I wore a lot of makeup, it was like coming home. Because the other girls had maybe not my level, but people wear a lot of makeup. They're the drag queens. Yes. With a huge pageant. I mean, it's a huge pageant hub too. No, but have you ever seen the, when they go to pageants and then they do an interview during the day and they're still blasted? Oh my God. Like they don't even look human. And I'm like, bitch. I wet the dress. Yes. The best is when they have their suit. And that's their daytime drag. And they still got the black and the cheek. I live totally. I hope when they have their out of drag interview looks, and they got to, they got to draw on their men's brows for the first time. It's honey. Wild. Sometimes they even do the beard too. Do Nike's. Because they haven't been men in decades. Yeah. And then now you got to be a man. So when you try to do it, it's like, baby, that looks like a strange human being. Yeah. I love that. I love it. It's Halloween. It's Halloween. It's Halloween. It's spirit Halloween. Yeah. One of our Boston drag queens used to do pageants in Texas. She was like famous for saying, you got to be a man girl. Honey. And her, her eye popping man look was because at some point we got to be men. But it's very little Richard is what it often gives. Yes. It's very little. It's very little. It's Liberace, little Richard. It's CD. It's CD. It's a cross stressor who lives her life during the day. And you know the cross is there. Right. As much as she tries to hide it. She's Chris Cross. Well, there's the CD. During the day at night. You know what the giveaway is? The six inch acrylics and the in the braids down to the back. And you know, she's got long hair. No, I do this. I have long hair. And when I'm like, okay, I'm going to go to the gay club. There's going to be men. They're all going to pay me dust. But I got to try to at least see if there's someone that's into me. So I put my hair in a little bun and then I try to find a way to hide the bun so that I don't look so fam. Because if I go to the gay club and they see me with hair with long hair or a little bun, automatically they're like, it's over. What about one of those little fezzes or like a Dixie cup? Yeah. Right. Right. I got to hide it with a Dixie cup or something. Pilgrim hat or a difficult point to. Well, I guess that's worse. Maybe I need to just shave my head and start wearing it. It's actually fierce. Wigs like boy wigs, male wigs. Oh, oh, oh. Men's wigs. Dude wigs. No. Get into it. Dude where's my wig? God damn it. You should come out with a line of wigs, call them dude wigs. And then your clientele will be all the creatures around the world who struggle to present as male. I need to be a spokesperson for the creatures who struggle. Who's going to stick out for the creatures at home who can't present as men? You got to help them out. If you want to talk about creatures who can't present as men looking for their struggle leader. Mama. Who better qualified? Sweetie. I was born in this struggle. It's her. There's always been her. April is a dangerous time for me, because the second the weather gets even a little flirtatious, I start behaving like a woman of a certain age who has simply had enough. Suddenly, I need a spring trip, a trip where I need soft pants, dark sunglasses, and a destination where I can walk around at golden hour pretending I have secrets. That is the power of April. It thaws the pavement, reawakens my allergies, and fills me with the completely irrational confidence of someone who thinks a weekend away will fix everything. So this spring, I'm planning a trip to Savannah, where I found a home on Airbnb that is draped in both moss and charm. I want cobblestone little squares, I want to drift around in the spring sunshine, like an ant who's on an eat pray love trip that includes grits and barbecue. I want to do some light strolling, and maybe buy an impossibly impractical piece of jewelry in a local boutique. And at night, I want to sit down to a dinner that is so good, it makes me briefly forget pretty much everything. This is the kind of trip where you need to place that match as a fantasy. That's why I love booking stays on Airbnb, because when I travel, I do not want to be crammed into a hotel room with a view of a parking lot. I want a real place to stay. I want a living room where I can decompress after a long day of wandering around and judging southern architecture. I want a kitchen for snacks, a table for my frosty beverages, and enough space to dramatically collapse on the floor like Julia Robertson's something to talk about. And if I'm traveling with friends, it's even better, because then we can all stay together instead of scattered down different hallways in a hotel. And of course, once I start planning one trip, my brain immediately escalates. Suddenly, I'm looking at Carmel next, then Malta, then Hokkaido Island, a little ocean air, some seafood, and maybe even a long walk where I pretend I'm processing something deep, but really I'm just thinking about Russian pop music. Whether it's one quick spring reset or the beginning of a full warm weather spiral, trips just feel more personal when you book through Airbnb. At EDF, we don't just encourage you to use less electricity. We actually reward you for it. That's why when you use less during peak times on weekdays, we give you free electricity on Sundays. How you use it is up to you. EDF, change is in our power. How so to ship weekday peak usage by 40% could earn up to 16 hours of free electricity for a subject to fair usage care. But all too easy to use because EDF energy.com forward slash our hyphen power. Hi, I'm Trevi Moran and I'm Kate Laf. And we're the hosts of the 6 Feet Above podcast. We're both 6 feet tall, duh, and not dead, yet. Plot twist, we're both alcoholics, but we're sober now. Thank you, God. Each episode is gonna feel like a sleepover, you guys. The good kind. I'm not talking about the one where your friends draw nethers on your face. It's more of the one where you start talking about pop culture and the trauma bonding, accidentally heal something, and still, find time to laugh. We talk openly also about addiction recovery and the messiest parts of our lives, unfiltered, honest, and, dare I say, hilarious. 6 feet above, it's about growth without the annoying preachy vibes. And girlhood without the f***ing filter. Wait, who the f*** just filtered us? If you're into real conversations, dark humor, deep feelings, and leaving a little lighter than when you started, welcome. You're in the right place. You did, you did makeup on We're Here. I did makeup on We're Here. It was so much fun. The entire time that I was there, I was a student. I was learning what to do, what not to do, how to challenge myself with makeup, and learn also like, these girls are working. Let me tell you, when we were on We're Here, these women, they were putting them to work. I could, I would last 10 minutes on that. They were outside for 12 hours in the sun. They were making them run around in these small, conservative towns. Never. Never. It was a challenge. Let me tell you. And they were supposed to save the towns. They were going in there and they were having to save the town through the art of cross-dressing. That, no, that's a... So you know the girls, it was a challenge for the girls. That sounds like science fiction. I obviously have been a fan, I was a fan of your old style of drag. And then when I discovered your series, which felt like it came out of nowhere and it came so strong and fast, my algorithm sucked it up like, anytime you post anything online, Instagram's like, we got you, boo. Here she is. Because I do watch and re-watch all your shit. And I share your shit so much. I also think Instagram... You do. You're so supportive. That's so sweet. You just eat so fiercely. Well, it's because you're... Thank you so much for that. But I also, you know, you are a queen. You're in a position where you could pay dust to all these creatures out there. And she will sit there and she'll shout me out. She'll share my things. And that's like... It's performative. It's performative. No, for me to even stop and comment like, I never comment, but your shit, I always have to say like... Thank you for that. You're good with that. You're good with that. When did you pivot to this like glamour-puss version of your look? So I think with everything going on in the world, we're here and I started to see that like the doors in Hollywood for drag queens were closing, especially drag queens who do makeup. And then so I went home and there was like a year where there was no work. And I hit rock bottom and I got to the point where I was like, bitch, I got no more money to even pay my bills anymore. Social media doesn't work. It's not working. I'm not working as a makeup artist anymore. I had an Emmy, but you know that Emmy, if you don't... If you think the Emmy's gonna make it for you, the Emmy, when I got home, I was like, this Emmy doesn't mean anything. I got work to do bitch. Ain't nobody gonna come over here and give me a job, especially I was living in Brownsville, Texas. That's not gonna happen. So I... But you gotta start on the walk of fame in Brownsville, Texas. In the key to the city. In the key to the city. The key to the city, bitch. But I had to crash and burn and hit rock bottom and I was at a party one night and it hit me. I don't know if it was the psychedelic. I don't know if it was the trade trying to come from me, but there was a moment where I was like, what am I doing in this house with these absolute monsters? But very, very valid. But in my mind, I was like, if I don't get my shit together, this is what I'm gonna end up as. The cross-dresser in the corner waiting for the trade to come over here and talk to me. I said, sweetie, this is not my path. I will not live a life that I don't deserve. Thank you, Pearl. Literally the next day, I started track investigations. I put my makeup on. I said, how can you do this with the skills that you got, but make it easy. You can do it by yourself. Because I run in there and I film myself. I edit myself. I do all... I'm a one woman pony show. Hell yeah. Who's filming when you're like in the parking lot talking? Do you have your phone set up somewhere? I set my phone up in my truck. I have a little clip. She got a gimbal. She got a backpack. It was that sense of like, I can't rely on anyone. I can't ask anyone for help. I gotta be able to do this by my own because I gotta be able to run this marathon. I have to be able to do this every day if I have to by myself. Well, that's the drag. I mean, that's an old school drag thing. Yeah. You're everything. I taught myself to... In my mind, I was like, bitch, no excuses. You don't have an editor. No excuse. You don't have an assistant. No excuse. You don't have support. You don't have anyone that believes in you. Bitch, you believe in you. And you're gonna go out there. You're gonna do this. And so I went out to Ulta and I started running around just shopping, which I did every day. That's what I was doing with my friends every day. But now I was just putting a wig on and now I was going to the DD's discounts. Love Ulta. To the marshals, to the raws. Where real people go to. I'm like the real people. The real people. Maybe the real people are going to the Home Depot honey. Thank you. And they're getting... They're doing Halloween. They're doing... That's where the majority of people, especially right now in America, it's like, bitch, can't nobody go to Dillard's? I'm gonna go into Target. We're stealing. The majority of people can't go to Dillard's or Neiman Marcus or Texas Avenue. Neiman Marcus, please. Maybe the girls are at Target. They're at Walmart and they're stealing everything. Goodwill. Honey. Goodwill can be really slight. That's where I get a lot of my Halloween decorations, Christmas decorations, because the price of holiday decor is so monstrous and crazy. Yeah. Get the used holiday decor. I went to an indoor swap meet the other day and I bought a foundation that was $2.99. And let me tell you something. It's more sickening than my Dior foundation. My Dior cost me $70. The LA colors. $3 foundation, it's sickening. Those designer foundations are bullshit. It smells like house paint, but it's sickening. The LA concealer. Yeah, that's good too. It gives you cancer. But you're kind of... I mean, we're all going to die of something, honey. Well, you do my makeup one day. I would love to. Someone has to. I would love to. But just know that I'm going to give you the five, six, seven, eight. I'm going to put a timer, 45 minutes. The five, six, seven, eight. And you're ready. Well, you know what? I'm going through an era right now where I feel like less is more. Do it fast. Just make yourself look good. Put on a lash and let's punch. Yeah. Okay. For sure. Let's get out of the makeup chair, sweetie, and go out there and live our lives. Yes. Six, six hours is a little too intense for me. It's too much. Well, I will say there's a sweet spot where it's like, for me, longer than, longer than an hour and 15 minutes with the brush in the hand, it's a depreciating asset. I know what I can do in like an hour. It's the longer I sit there, it's like jerking off. It's like, it's like edging for what? And then you're all tired. At this point, you're wasting your time. But you've got to go work after. Right. So you can't sit there forever. Yeah, if I do that, what I'm dealing with is father time. So the longer I take to put on my makeup, the more my face reminds me that I'm an old, crepey skinned ag. It starts to crack. It starts to go in the wrinkle. Yeah. So my window of freshness is about... Into the craters. Two hours. How did you think of these little isms that you edit into your... Like that type of shit. How did you think of all those? Because they hit... They're so numerous. It just happened by accident. They're so numerous. Do you edit this? I edit it. You add all those yourself? I have a microphone. I actually, those audios, I don't know what... I don't remember what I was doing. Terror. Those audios are two years old. It was a whole year... Using yourself as like a sample. I was doing that. I must have been doing a YouTube video like two years ago and I was recording like an intro or something. And then I was like, I'm just gonna... I just started going, heee now. Breck, don't do it little girl. You look like a creature. The D-O-L. No, you know what? This woman, she looks like a DOG. And so I just... There's a whole like three minute audio that's two years old. And so then one day, as I was editing my videos for TikTok, I was like, I'm gonna put in these audios after every little cut that I do. And it became a thing. It's amazing. Now that they're constantly like, Lush, when are you getting like a button that has all your sounds? They're unrelenting. They're unrelenting. DJs are hitting me up. Can you send me the audios? I'll pay you for the audios. I'm like, wait a minute, bitch. No, you wait a minute. I was gonna say your own little sound track. Like a fashionista track of you yelling. I would be good on a bitch track. You would be like a fat... We need to do a bitch track together. With love. We would go in. Like a nice, sexy, hot, like runway track of you being like yelling, yes, no, maybe so. Right. Your version of the sexy version of that. Yes, no, and maybe so. When the girls try to review off, that's what they're gonna be saying. But now it's getting to the point where now they're like, my dedications from my videos are putting it to tracks. So now these F.A.G.s are at the club and they're like, honey, have you ever been in the dark room, honey? Make some noise for the dark room girls who are getting gutter punched in the dark. And like, they're using all my sounds on these like tracks. Yeah, I love it. But I was gonna say, that's definitely not eating your lunch. It's not taking anything away from your room. I love it. I love it. If it brings, that's what I'm here for. I want to bring Joy to these kids. They will literally, at least in the DMs, I've gotten videos where like, they're having sex with each other, like destroying each other. And they're playing my video in the background. And you just hear me in the back, girl. I went to the altar today, girl. Let me tell you this concealer was not giving. Meanwhile, the F.A.G. he's going in, boom, boom, boom, pounding this little bottom. Can you imagine if you're getting pounded, you're hitting the poppers girl, your eyes are in the back of your head and you just hear me in the back now. Don't do it, let her go. Don't do it. That brings you joy. In me, that's just like, you know, queerness. But you know, when I watch your videos, I think I've seen all of them at least once. You also appear to be enjoying yourself. I have a question about there are times where you clearly grab some person. Like there was one video where you grab this lady and you and her are sitting on a display outdoor furniture, just having a chat. Yes. Like it was like a Gail King and Katy Perry sitting down for a post space chat. What do they think when they see you? What do they think when they realize you're filming? What do they think? Well, you know, I do it on purpose. I the whole point of my show is I'm a drag queen. I'm a cross dresser, but I can exist in these places and I'm not here to harm anybody just running around shopping. So I love literally sometimes I'll grab my friends and I'm like, let's go to the Ross and we're going to go find a seat and we're going to just turn on the camera and just kiki. Like if we're at home, because the conversations we're having sure they might be gross and disgusting and stupid, but girl, we're not hurting anybody. People get queer people deserve to be able to be visible and exist in any space. Sure. Some gay people, our conversations can be a little risque. We might be a little piggy sometimes with the things that we talk about, but that's how we process our trauma, bitch. I saw this video of you talking about it. You were talking about like, you were talking about like if you like you were saying like straight people are mad at us for the way we talk rough, but it's how we process shit that you put on us. Absolutely. And that was so illuminating. Honey, listen, they will sit there and they will criticize us. Oh my God, these queer people are pigs. They're so promiscuous. Look at the things they do with their booty home. Honey, we do the things we do because of the trauma that you've put us through. Since we were children, you've told us you don't love us. You don't see us. You don't want us to exist. You want us to change everything about us. You reject us. You put us through so much pain and trauma. And now as adults, this is how we process our pain and trauma. And guess what these motherfuckers are doing behind the scenes getting their assos blown out. Blown out, honey. You think these conservative Republicans, they don't got wigs and panties and dildos in their closet? Lindsey Graham, black hole. Pound it. Yeah. They probably two arms. Force, a vortex. All this furniture up his ass. I just had a vision. Something tells me the housemaid comes up. It's on the glab. It's on the Crisco. And boom. And Lindsay's just there getting her live. Getting a massage. She can't sit on a bar stool. Sweetie. It just goes baby. Well, honey, at this point, can we, honey? I was talking about this the other day. What are we going to do when we reach 70 years old? Our booty holes are going to have no grip. Listen, imagine the grip. I have, I can't even fit a medium sized butt plug on my ass anymore. No, no, period. She notoriously has the tightest tighter than the clamshell. Stop it. 43 years old. I could have sworn you were like one of these extreme anal play girls. All my friends are really, really, like I'm a bottom, but I'm like a madam Alexander doll. I'm very wholesome. We're going to be fully in love. And then it's going to be one pinky. And I'm going to be like, Oh my God, you know, like I need a, I need a little bit more of a secret garden. Are you the clean girl? Like you got like the sanitizer on the side. You don't want the smells. You don't want the sense. You don't want the colors and this liquid. I didn't spend like the years. It just never appealed to me, but I support the ran through dolls. Right. I have your shirt. This is the ran through doll, but three of your shirts. And I accidentally bought multiples of the same ones. Hi, we are Dan and Phil and hard launch is our mail podcast. About the power of living your truth. We're better than that. Honestly. Well, it's mostly us accidentally spilling scandalous info about our past dating lives. True. And getting into inappropriately domestic arguments about it. After 16 years on YouTube, we decided to hard launch our relationship. And now we are emboldened to overshare with you. So you might have seen us on grinder this week. My ex texted me. What? He did. I have a confession. I completely thought you catfished me when we first met. Join us every Monday on hard launch with Dan and Phil. Hard Mondays start your week hard. Sorry. Love is blind. Love Island, the bachelor, the ultimatum, sex in the city, Bridgerton, white lotus. If dating reality shows, romcoms, smutty romance novels and the like are your jam. You're in good company. Welcome to two black girls, one rose, a podcast uncovering what we can learn about modern dating, love and relationships from popular television. I'm Natasha and I'm Justine for best friends, TV and film fanatics and hopeless romantics. And every week on our podcast, we're dissecting your favorite guilty pleasures, unpacking the mess, laughing at the drama and trying to make sense of this thing called love. Are all men narcissists? How much should your mama know about your relationship? Is a person twice divorced, a walking red flag? These are just some of the questions we attempt to unpack while analyzing your favorite shows. Join us on the couch and listen to two black girls, one rose wherever you get your podcasts. I follow the accounts of like, I will say the gentleman who get like a second hand wedding gown and walk around their kitchen. Oh, Gwen, Megan, Megan, Lauren with a Y. Yeah, follow these girls and you would think the comments would be like, girl, you need to brush your hair or, but the comments like so beautiful. So just the comment that I love, I love it. Supportive. I love it. Because they get the selfie stick in the kitchen. And then yeah, you know, people will lie to you, especially on social media. Well, but they also, they're like straight men's alt accounts that are dedicated to following cross dressers. All they do is comment on the girls and say, you look amazing. Oh my God, can we talk about this? The cross dresser, the panty snippers and the DMs. Oh yeah. I'd be getting so many messages. The other night I got a message. It just said, can you help? Can you help me please? And I said, and I said, oh my God, is this man okay? What's wrong? So then I text back, mind you, why would I even respond to this? Love you. Your tag is in for the community. Do you need a supportive referral? He has one follower, Ben. She's like, I said, honey, are you okay? How can I help you? He said, can you suck this deck? I said, well, sweetie, are you are you close? Where are you located? But it's these panty snippers, they be hitting us up the famous Queens on the on the Instagram. Yeah, but they hit, they hit you up. They don't follow through though. My, my things works. It's like the grinder trade that they, what they really want is they just want you to send the picture, send the video. I and they're, they're, they're, they're like, they're giving you the fantasy that they're going to come over, but they're just at home. Mama, they're jerking off to your picture. They should all be sent to jail 25 years. No parole. But you know what it is too? It might also be your home girl. Cause you know the girls too, they'll go on. But no, but let me tell you this. There are girls who they go on grinder and they'll pretend to be trained so that they can get like, let me get her T and so they'll, they log into their alt accounts. No, they don't. They do. I'm not afraid who would do that. She would go on grinder and she would be trying, she would be like, okay, she's trying to get trade. She's trying to get trade. Let me go. Let me get her picks. Let me get her picks so I can get the T. Meanwhile, they're just playing games with you. There ain't no trade maybe. The trading coming. What a weird thing to do. Get a hold of me. Some of the girls are just not wow. People aren't happy. Macramay. People aren't happy. Trauma. They're not happy. And pain. When they see you out here. The girls are in pain, honey. But when I see you out here living on, I hate to say, living your life and the thing what I think is so compelling about your videos is the confidence, the comfort to go into any space and truly the focus is not, isn't it outrageous that I'm in a home depot? Right. The focus is on like, aren't these other people really fucking weird? You're the straight in these videos. Like you're the normal mind in these videos and the world around you is plucked and crazy. Are you going on the home depot buying the Hickory Smoked engineered hardwood or well, I went to home depot to look for trade because you know what the home depot you can find a man. You know what the one in Hollywood, they got the hottest man at the home depot. Have you ever noticed the second floor parking lot in the second floor parking lot in the Hollywood one? I haven't been. So are the girls really cruise like ground zero. Oh my god. You should just go to the second floor of the home depot here and sit in your car and check out what you know. I use now that I'm a public figure. I can't do this anymore. But I used to love, I would have to like change my face again and wear a whole different way. Redhead. Hopefully I end up looking, I'll probably look like Daddy DeVito and drag. Just do some Clark Kent glasses. They'll be rice, rice, no mud just glasses and turn the bob inside out. But let me tell you this. Turn the bob inside out. And they'll live. Let me tell you the trade does not care. Mary. They don't care. Have you ever had trade? I know you have it, but you got trade as a woman. I've done it on Craigslist. She's the original perpetrator. She gives me Craigslist girl. I was down. The only Craigslist girl. It was her. It was Craigslist. That's her list. This is her fucking list. My dreams were my whole self esteem. My whole everything was shattered because I would put on my ad, go in the shower, paint fiercely, do the show or not do the show. And I had three in a night. You know what? I've done that though. I have prioritized trade over going and doing a video or doing a show. Things I need to do. Wednesday night for $60. No, thank you. You're your own boss though. But you know what happens? It goes back to we're in pain and we just want pleasure. Well, but here's the thing though. This was the gag. The gag was that we get. I thought I was cut. I thought I would put the effort in. I look sexy and I had an 11 a.m. appointment with this guy. I paid gig. Not 11 a.m. during the day. Yes. And I overslept. The people have families. And 1045 I woke up and I was like, Oh my God. I'm so sorry. I'm going to need a couple hours. I just woke up. He's like, just put a wig on. Sweet. Can you believe? Oh, I believe it. It's crazy. It's happened. I was devastated. Mr. Burns over here in the Dakota. Devastated. Okay. But did you ever like do your makeup? You're getting, you're putting on your lotions. You put your wig on your fishnets, your lingerie and you look in the mirror and you're like, bitch creature. Never. You always felt the fantasy. Yeah. Cause I had no lights on. You always believe the delusion. No lights on. Okay. Very, very dim low light. Okay. Because if you turn the light on, you know, they'd run away. No, no, no. Listen to this. So after the after we fucked in about 10 minutes all my makeup was on their ass. So like I looked like who done it. But we, there was a couple of guys who would chill afterwards, really like evolved guys. And one man had the nerve to tell me, if I saw you out during the day, I would have no idea you weren't a woman. You know that man probably was a little blind. A little blind. Can I also say he suffered from something. Block coma. When I worked at the makeup counter, people would come in and the, the, the, they would be with their boyfriend or whatever. And the boyfriend or husband would say, I don't like girls. A lot of makeup on. And I remember this one time this woman said, well, who do you think has not much makeup on? And the gentleman, her husband boyfriend said, Megan Fox. And that was a moment where I went as stunning as she is. Of course, the woman's dipped. She's in drag. Dipped like an Easter egg. But straight men have no lack. She's wearing more makeup than me right now. Straight men don't know if you have lashes on. They don't understand anything. They don't know about foundation. They don't know about just trash. But they think anything on the eye is mascara. You notice that they call anything here is mascara. Anything here is lipstick or lip gloss. They don't know, they don't know about pencil. No, I'm not. Yeah. Yeah. Straight men are just stupid. They're boring. I was so surprised because the bar is totally in the basement for a lot of these guys. They just need a vague shape of a woman, a silhouette. And that's, and that's enough for them to get on a saguaro cactus. Just turn around, put a wig on, put some fishes and some panties on. Or you throw a wig on a fire hydrant and lying down the street to fuck that thing. But you don't make some think of when you're, I was grinding and stuff and you see that person on a grid where you see the small crossy and you have to click because you have to see it. But then they see that you've looked at their profile. So then they come, they message you and you go, Oh no, I was just looking at you, but not in a sexy way. Just had to see what was up. And it often really is like drew drogy as Chloe Savigny. And you're like, well, after I remind myself, that person probably has no issue because again, the men don't care. The men don't care that you put on your cheekbone highlight. They want the wig and the dick. They just want a receptacle where they can just drop their load in. All the way around. Oh, most of the time, you were dropping. That she was dropping. She was dropping it down on these men would respond to me when it gets, it's my first time hotdog down the hallway. Girl, let me tell you waxed, douche. I've never done this before. I had a trade the other night. First night he came over, treated me like a woman made me feel like I had ovaries, XX vagina, everything treated like a woman. I come yelled at you. Yeah. He was a misogynist. He leaves two, three days later. He's like, I had so much fun. Can I come over again? But this time I want you to play with me. And I said, wait, what do you mean, sweetie? What are you talking about? Sweetheart? To put him in? Oh, he said, I have some toys. I said, well, okay, let's, you know, I'm a sensible futuristic woman. I understand the world. I understand the world. I understand that men like to play with their anal cavity too. Did he bring out a fire hydrant? He brought out this toy that was a replica of a horse. Brownsville. Mind you, he was a pro. I put it in. I said, wait a minute. This is bigger than mine. This is bigger than the toys I use, honey. I'm over here playing with the little toys. The kiss of death is like, we don't need Lou. I'm over here playing with my little pony. He was over here with, what's the spirit? Black stallion? All the gargantuan. Right. Raging style in studios. He took it all to the tilt. Didn't even complain. No noise, nothing. They turned around. I said, do you like it? His eyes were in the back of his head. He said, I love it. I said, these men are not well. They're in paint. You know what these men are in paint too. They're in trauma and they come to us so we can give them pleasure so they can feel good about themselves. Can you imagine the pressure and the pain that society puts these men through? It's true. And the part of them that is perhaps, let's be generous, transamorous or open to it, that part of them is so stockpiled with the shame of every, first of all, they already like hate women. They hate gay people. They hate themselves for secretly jerking off to any version of between the two. Right? So they are trying to push through their own layers of armor, discomfort, whatever. They're trying to push through, but the whole time they're balancing out the extreme shame, the extreme. It's because no one gave them permission to just play with their ass. If, listen, if we lived in a society where when you're born, they, they say, listen, you can play with your penis, you can play with your vagina, you can play with your booty hole too. If all the men in America, all of a sudden just started playing with their booty hole, I think that would, we would reach world peace. Well, also, I mean, I was, I was watching this lecture talk about, I mean, way back like Sparta, Ancient Greece, there was no word for homosexuality. All the soldiers fucked each other. Oh, absolutely. But there's no identity. Right. They didn't even have the word. There's no word. And there's, so there is no stigma. And so there was no, I feel like we don't need, I feel like these sexual identities are helpful in, in, in a repressed society where we need to find each other, but in a perfect world. It's cause we're born and immediately we're put in prisons. You can't do this. If you're a man, you can't do this. If you're a woman, you can't do this. They put themselves in so many prisons and that's why they're so bitter. But look at, look at, look at these bitches are no better down. Honestly, the truth is I think about this all the time because I always get tagged on like Libs of Tik Tok or all these places. And it's always like me and Jimmy Kimmel reading the kids and like, I know that's inflammatory, whatever. But I'm always like, what is the hang up? Obviously you hate gay people. And I guess like you could go religion, whatever. But the, something about cross-dressing is so inflammatory. What about Louis the fucking 14th? Girl. The queen. The queen. The inflammatory. It's all presentation. It's all arbitrary too. In this world, in order to do what you gotta do, you have to present a certain way. We are just so free and we are not imprisoned that we can present ourselves any which way. When we can be a man, one day we can be a woman. We know how to use all the tools at our disposal to gain power. And also, we teach ourselves to become powerful. Right. Because if we were born and we followed their rules and we stayed in their prisons, we would have no power. Yeah. Right. They wouldn't care about us. They wouldn't respect us. They wouldn't accept us. They would pay us dust and they get bitter that we figure it out. We set ourselves free and we come out here and we're like, bitch, I'm gonna make some money. I'm gonna buy that house. I'm gonna buy that car. I'm gonna make my dreams come true and I'm gonna do it with a wig and some lashes, bitch. And you're gonna be bitter about it. I mean, I take it. And you're gonna have to turn on the TV and see it. And you're gonna have to listen to me talk about how if you just started playing with your booty hole, your problems. Let me tell you, tell all the straight men in America. They love our show. If you just started playing with your booty hole, you would solve so much of your trauma, your pain. All that stress. Release the pain. Except the pleasure. Baby, just find a cross-dresser and have her put a dildo in your ass and you will live your life. That is a great political platform. Sweetie. That's what they need to do. Obama change. You know what I mean? Let me tell you something. Donald Trump, if he just, if Melania, if you just started to introduce ass playing into Trump's life, what do you think? He might just, you think he already does that? Oh, I'm sure he's had that nasty ass punched up. That nasty, flabby, orange ass just wrecked. He's probably one of the, you remember back in the day, they used to always say that gay people would like put gerbils in their ass. Richard Gere. Donald Trump is, he has that gerbil in there. He's the perpetrator. The gerbil is in there. And the more damage you are, the animal gets bigger. It's the capybara. It's the small pig. Honey, what? This point, honey. It's like a, what is it? The hyena at this point. Guinea pig. Honey. Something. Sweetie. But like, I always think about it, literally these fucking idiots who get, so hung up on drag, if they just opened a history book and went back three, four or 500 years, the fucking king of France looks like you. Do you know what I mean? It's like all this shit is arbitrary. Because you know the mug was busted. You know back in those days, the makeup was not cute. And sweetie, he had, he was, he was, he had so many fistulas. Black ooze coming out the booty hole. From all the ass play. In the court, the people in the court had to wear scented. Because they probably didn't even clean the toys. Oh girl. It was probably wooden toys. They would just shove them in his ass. That's why he had all those, those boils and fistulas and things. How did you, how did you decide on the wig you wear in your videos? How did you decide on the little door explorer wig? Because it is kind of a quick little, as a master's calls it, the door of the explorer. Yes. Door of the explorer. Absolutely. I am Dora and I am exploring and drag investigating the world. Let me tell you. But it really came down to ease of use. To me, a bob can last forever. You can suck dick in a bob. You can run around in a bob all day. You can hide your bag of Botox. As long as you got your little brush, you're good. You can wear jewelry. Because realistically, I'm out there in the real world. If I was wearing one of these wigs, running around the Ross, people would be like, What is going on there? Because the bob is also the very low key. Like somebody could be a few aisles away and on the corner of their eye, they see your hair right now, on the corner of the eye, they're like. Right. And then it turns into like, what are they filming? Is this a filming? People could see you and they realistically could be like, is that some lady? I, for the most part, I get completely ignored. No one cares. No one's bothered that I'm just running around in the aisles, shopping around for things. Like no one cares. But which I'm glad, you know, I don't want to be out there like having people come up to me and being rude to me or trying to like, you know, I don't want to hear their bullshit. I don't want to hear their ignorance. I'm going to read them down if they ever try it. But I'm glad it hasn't happened. And for the most part, they leave me alone. But the Bob to me is just, it's easy. I love that. We always, I always travel with a backup Bob. It's always like, it's easy breezy. Yeah. And it always looks good. And it can last for years. My backup Bob is Bob the drag queen. And I don't feel like doing the show. I just grabbed her. Can I say to you, I also think in a lot of your videos, maybe you're playing with the audience, but a lot of times men are noticing you. Yes. She can't go in these stores without being like, well, he just craned his neck to look over here and look me up and down. The men are interested. It's because these men, they're, first of all, yeah. And they see me, I'm done up. I'm wearing cute hair. You know, like they, they, there's a lot of men that are just feminine, attracted. I have a theory. I feel like human beings are not actually attracted to a penis or a vagina. They're attracted to either femininity or masculinity. For sure. And so men, even if you don't have a vagina, but you're giving femininity, they're going to come over here. They're going to try to get it. They're going to come over here, get this piece. Right. Because they're attracted to the femininity. There's been moments where I'm just male presenting, but you know, I obviously look like a big ol F.A.G. I got my brows down, I got my hair in a ponytail and they will hit on me. Right. Because they know. Well, you're also in your little like a Gaga just dance. Right. But they also know they're like, he's going to go down on me. Right. And I bet he has an amazing hair piece at home. Right. But I would love to see. Right. They know we're going to give him a show. He was a bar of some jewelry. These people are not stupid. They know the dolls, the girls, you know, the drag queens, we're going to give him a show. I love doing that. In or out of stage, we're going to give them a show, honey. And they know. I do that showgirls thing in the pool. It's so, it's thrilling. That's just you at home. Yeah. Well, nobody there. Yeah. The other thing is, I guess, if you're filming with your phone too, you can be so discreet. People walk by shopping, don't even know that you're filming. Yeah. And I wear my little microphones. I put them in my barn, my titties. And so I'm walking around half the time. I'm reading them to like. I love when you're. And they don't even know. Or you're like Ross and you're halfway across the store, but the microphone is so clean. So you just see her head bobbing, walking through an aisle, talking about clothes. And her voice is clear as day. It's so security footage. It is. Under the radar. Yeah. So these people also, the way your camera is set up, if they must think you're just talking to yourself. Yeah. Yeah. They don't know what I'm doing. They don't. And half the time these people, they don't care. Girl, they're over there. They're food stamps. They're trying to come for the food stamps. They're shopping. Honey, they're they're they're struggling to put food on the table. They're hot. Their wife and honey ain't giving them no cookie in a minute. So then they see me. I'm walking around with my little purse, my little Bob. And I'm like, yes, honey, don't do it. Oh, girl. In their mind, they're like, oh, she's going to let me have it. Let me go over there and talk to her. She's going to finger my booty. Bitch, you know I'm going to go in. Do you ever feel unsafe out there filming these? No. It's great. That's inspiring. I'm also very like. You got your gun. In my mind. I actually, I don't have any weapons. Maybe I should get one. But I'm just very like, bitch, you don't own the world. You don't own the world. You don't own the planet. Listen, you can be conservative. You can be crazy. Stay on your ranch. Don't come over here to my house and tell me I can't do the things that I need to do to live my life. Bitch. And we're in a public place. Let me live my life. I'm not hurting anyone. I'm just running around the rocks. I'm looking for a size 11 shoe. Do you got it? Right. No, I will not take 10 and a half. And it's why do you have a wide bitch? Because I'm a big bitch. I need a big shoe. Right. And if you don't got the shoe, honey, I don't even need to talk to you. Get out of my face, sweetie. I got to go. Let me go on over to the marshals. Let me go over to the marshals, sweetie. Damn. What stores can we look up to? I'm not bothered by these people. What stores are you going to next? I don't even know. I've been everywhere. Have you done World Market? But that would be right. Oh, I need to go to World. Yes, they do. They got strange food. I'm with the American Doll Store. Strange smells. I want, that would be a fun video. The Grove. It would be strange too, because I'm not like one of these older men that has a weird obsession with dolls. I'm not that girl. Like I was just. Me neither. But you know what I mean? But it would be fun for me to walk in there and be like, girl, what's going on over here with these dolls? I think in a, I don't know one adult man who collects American girl, because they're not chic. They're not giving anything. Right. They're not, they're not canteen. They're not Barbie. Little canteen. Yeah. You can go in there. It's like a collar-ridden Emily. With historical storylines. But you like Barbie. You don't like brats. No, I don't like brats. I don't like brats. Those are ran through. Brats are for horse. Brats are for horse. Yeah, brats are for horse, but it's like a whore that she doesn't really care. It's a cookie monster pajama girl. Right. No self esteem. You know what it is? It's for that girl that she wears those tarantula nails and the tarantula lashes. And they're like one going this way, one the other way. But she, in her mind, she's turning it. Yeah, she's turning it. I've been watching that show, Yonla Van Zandt Fix My Life. Is that her name? Yeah. Elania? Not on my watch. Yonla? I yonla the man. And a lot of the people, she primarily aids women. Obviously there's men there because men are often the problem with the women. No, she helps the women. And some of the lashes being presented on that show are. Egregious. It's just like one this, one this. One this, one this. There's no symmetry. The blinking, it's just like almost bright white blue strip. Does she ever do this? At this point, they're doing the Trixie Mattel liner with a lash. I know, but also this show was from like 2000, like 10 years ago now. Right. So it wasn't, I mean, I think lash technology is better now. Was that, she was the one who was like, is that something you want? Well, let me tell you, you never get it. You're never gonna get it. Yeah, it's really fierce. The other day she told all these women, she said all these women were like, oh, my husband hit me. Oh, these women are the other day. 30s, they were 14 women there. And they all had been pregnant by the same guy. Oh, Lord. And all together he had 38 children. Who has the time? And she said to them, well, first of all, it's like pregnancy abuse. I'm like, this is crazy. Second of all, she said, all of you need a Bob. You know what a Bob is? And the girls were like, and she goes, battery operated boyfriend. Damn. Yeah. She, the fuck me? She said, y'all are too horny. Three of the women were pregnant at the same time with the guys. Oh, my God. And I was like, this man is in the jail. I will say the low key. It makes me think the net is good. He must be God. He must be putting it down. What kind of magic dick does he have? I'm over here like, is he on Grindr? And I find him on Grindr. That's from you're going to be the 39. You're going to be the next pregnant woman. I want to be the next one. The pregnant woman. He might be able to get me pregnant. Finally, I've been trying for years. It never happens. It doesn't stick. When the drag is so good that you miss a period, honey. Honey. Girl. Well, then you start getting scared. If you guys go to the gynecologist for your next video. I do. You know, I told my mom, I went to the LGBT center, you know, to go get tested for all the things. And I'm explaining it to my mom. And I'm like, mom, it's like me going to the gay gynecologist. Because she doesn't understand it. Like in her, where she doesn't understand that, you know, we are gay men and we have different needs. And we need a special doctor that, you know, is going to take care of our body. It's like a gay gynecologist. He goes in there, you bend over, he goes in your ass and checks it. Scrapes the bark off. Scrapes everything off. And my mother, she was so lost. And I was like, the only way to explain it's the gay gyno. Yeah. Yeah. Honey. What do they think of your wonderful success? Well, luckily no one recognized me or they knew me, but they're, you know, they're trying to be professional and they don't want to make it weird. No, I mean your mom and stuff. Oh. My mom is trying to be professional. She said, well, they wrote on a red carpet for me at the LA LGBT center. No, I do think if you are a gay, gay, even like celebrity, it's more, it's slightly embarrassing to go get tested because people do just like. Oh, it's very embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah, you get there and you're like, bitch, they know I'm the doll. But then I'm like, well, fine. If people go home and tell me that I'm, if people go tell their friends they saw me investing in my sexual wellness, tell everyone, bitch, I'm not ashamed. At the same time, you have no privacy. I will say though, now they give you the little test tube and they're like, go in the restroom do it yourself. But I do remember like maybe six, seven years ago, I would go to the doctor and my gay doctor would be like, okay, bend over, pull your pants down, bend over. And he would swab me. That was embarrassing. Mary, I got to, I was a study member in the vaccine for HPV for men years and years and years ago. And when I tell you the swabs that this motherfucker did, it was like I killed his whole family. He would jam it in and then like it was trauma. Like a spill. Did it ever come out dirty? He broke it off in my ass. Okay. Well, you know, because the swab sometimes you stick it in and as clean as you think you are. When you go in there and you say for 10 seconds, twirl it for 10 seconds. Sometimes you'll see a little speck of something. I don't confuse the brown swab. Okay. I think it was probably dark red. Okay. Blue or something. Okay. Girls out there, you see our swab comes out dirty too. Yeah. I went to, I once I had a little something, something going on and I went to the clinic and the nurse or the doctor was like, oh yeah, this is definitely that. And we have some medical students here who would, or saying that, is it okay if they come in? That's right. Spread your ass. No, absolutely the fuck not. Thank you very much. It was like, yeah. And then the medical student, oh my God, Katya, I love you. That's what I was afraid of. That you know what, they would have got you. It could have happened. My proctologist, somebody in the office told me that they were a fan and they, and they said it after they had already seen everything. And I actually was just like, well now it's gonna be wondering if you know, if I see like an earring, I'm like, what if they're gay? I think it's unprofessional. I kind of felt better. I think it'd feel better. Sure. But I think it's unprofessional. I was like, oh good, you know, and to you. So there is a line for you. Well, I think it's like, I'm a big fan. So that to me says, that person's gonna go home to their significant other and be like, oh, I just scraped off some herpes of a Katya's cunt today or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, like that's, that's what I, She had a fissure and I closed it up. Yeah. They got you. Well, we're, can everybody, if everybody wants to join on the joy train, which is watching your content, you really are the best. You're the only person doing anything like what you do. It's just amazing. And you're by far the most beautiful guest. Everybody before you dogs. Brick. Really? Brick is DOG's everyone. DOG's and BRI's. Because you know the girls nowadays, they're tired. They're lazy. They have no inspiration anymore. Why do they try to quit? No one looks. I mean, you said this earlier. Lazy. No one looks different. No one is a just, no one, you know what it is? They don't believe in themselves. Bitch, if you believe in yourself and you accept yourself the way you are, you don't make excuses, you don't apologize, and you just are you. Really you, you radically accept yourself. You're going to be an original. You're going to be an original. Yeah. Yeah. What was that with that whole cliché? It's like, be you. That's the only person that nobody else can do it. Yeah. Baby, there's people out there. They got, they got those humps in their back. Goyders. The girl. Yeah. Baby, we need more bricks in the world. We need humps and goiters and drag. It's been enough. We got it. Skinny people, we got it. Pretty people, we got it. We're done. We're tired. You're boring. We need fucking scary creatures out here just being glamorous and giving us everything. The humpback buck tooth goitered up. Bitch, please. And that's where I come in. The girls with the dark in between the thighs with some skin tags. Bring it out little girl. I want to see it. That's what I'm looking for. Rhyme stone those tags. Baby, sweetie. Put a ribbon on it. Give us the, the, the, the palette, the skin tag palette. The collab. Yeah. Jump the collab. Let's do a collab. Skin tags and dark in between the thighs. Rosacea. We can do different shades of brown. We can do different shades of brown, different shades of like red. First, you know, when it's irritated, we can do all the girl. It would be a sensation. Right. So neck braces cover up like a greater. Press number one in the comments. If you would live for the brick palette with the skin tags and the dark in between the thighs, the dark in the neck, honey. The palette for the girls whose feet swell. Baby, let me tell you the feet, the girls. The palette for the girls. The elephant tightest girls. Make some noise for the elephant tightest dolls. Diabetic. Socks. Yes. People can find. They save lives. They save feet. People can find you at Luscious Massacre everywhere. Right. Luscious Massacre everywhere. My show is called drag vestigations. It's on YouTube and I'm running around just, you know, being a woman in the world, minding my business while I'm, you know, being very shady. I think you are like the best thing that's happened to dragon. Five years. Oh my God. Would you please, I'm not serious. Would you please do my makeup? I'll pay you. I would like to. Okay. We'd have so much fun. It would be. I'm telling you though, I'm going to put a timer. It's going to be 30 minutes and I'm just going to turn you into a woman. You said 45 before. It'll be 30 minutes. But that was 15 minutes ago. But let me tell you this. It will be one of those trademarks. You're going to look so beautiful and so delicious. You're going to want to pull some trades. Like Minnescott Barnes did me. I'm going to go right to the Dr. Blaketraps. But let me tell you something. You see, you would have pulled trade in that much. Of course I would have. You would have. You would have. The trade would have pounded you down. Yeah. Till your, till the. The eyes watering. I looked, I looked like Ann Coulter on HGH, but I felt, I felt it. I was, she faced me. I took about 75,000 screenshots. And all the pictures were me walking in different lineages and going, but wait. But can you believe that is the same man who does JLo? Yeah. It just goes to show you it helps to look like JLo. It helps. It's a really good helper. JLo does a lot of the work. Yeah. Yes. It really does. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having me. You're the best. This is so much fun. You're the best thing. Thank you. Okay. You are too, bitch. You're the best thing. She's the best thing. I don't want to say. Bye. Pod's over. Canceled. And trying to make sense of this thing called love. Are all men narcissists? How much should your mama know about your relationship? Is a person twice divorced, a walking red flag? These are just some of the questions we attempt to unpack while analyzing your favorite shows. Join us on the couch and listen to two black girls, one rose, wherever you get your podcasts.