Dare To Fly: How Martha McSally Transformed Fear into Fearless Leadership
35 min
•Jan 9, 20265 months agoSummary
Martha McSally, former U.S. Senator, Air Force fighter pilot, and first woman to fly combat missions in an F-16, discusses her journey from breaking gender barriers in the military to building a leadership coaching practice. She shares frameworks for developing unbreakable leaders, the importance of authentic self-discovery, and how to transform adversity into fuel for success.
Insights
- Authentic leadership begins with self-awareness and understanding one's unique strengths (zone of genius) rather than external titles or roles
- Courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to take action despite fear; this applies to both military operations and business decisions
- Inner work and emotional intelligence are as critical to business success as external strategies; leaders must address unresolved trauma and limiting beliefs
- Organizational effectiveness improves when people are placed in roles aligned with their natural strengths rather than forced into mismatched positions
- Legacy and impact-driven decision-making creates more sustainable success than purely financial or status-focused goals
Trends
Leadership development shifting from external/tactical training to internal/emotional intelligence and authenticity-based approachesExperiential learning and adventure-based coaching gaining traction as alternatives to traditional corporate trainingIncreased focus on founder/leader mental health, trauma integration, and spiritual practices in high-performance business cultureWomen in leadership emphasizing the importance of breaking systemic barriers while maintaining authentic identity rather than assimilationPost-political/post-corporate pivot toward purpose-driven ventures combining impact, freedom, and abundance rather than pure growth metricsScholarship and mentorship programs targeting individuals with generational trauma as a social impact investment strategyIntegration of mindfulness, reflection, and mortality awareness into daily leadership and entrepreneurial practices
Topics
Authentic Leadership DevelopmentGender Barriers in Military and Corporate LeadershipTrauma Integration and Emotional Healing in Professional SettingsDecision-Making Frameworks for LeadersZone of Genius and Strengths-Based HiringExperiential Leadership CoachingGenerational Wealth and Legacy PlanningMindfulness and Spiritual Practices for EntrepreneursCongressional Effectiveness and Government OperationsCombat Exclusion Policy and Military ReformImposter Syndrome and Authenticity in LeadershipWork-Life Balance and Freedom in Career DesignMentorship and Scholarship ProgramsBrute Force vs. Inspired Action in AchievementInner Work and Self-Leadership
Companies
Arizona Community Foundation
Partner organization for McSally's Dare to Fly Scholarship fund supporting individuals overcoming generational trauma
People
Martha McSally
Former U.S. Senator and first female Air Force fighter pilot; primary guest discussing leadership, military service, ...
Tommy Mello
Host of The Mello Millionaire podcast; interviewer conducting conversation with McSally about leadership and entrepre...
John McCain
Former U.S. Senator whose seat McSally was appointed to after his death; served two years in Senate
Gay Hendricks
Author/thought leader whose concept of 'zone of genius' is referenced by McSally in leadership framework
Michael Singer
Author of The Untethered Soul, recommended by McSally as transformative book for spiritual and emotional journey
Theodore Roosevelt
Historical figure whose 'Man in the Arena' quote deeply influenced McSally's decision-making philosophy since Air For...
Jeff Hayes
Friend and advisor who challenges McSally to pursue bigger goals and avoid playing small in current ventures
Jason Campbell
Breathwork program leader whose wisdom on mortality and daily reflection practices influenced McSally's routine
Quotes
"Courage is actually when you feel the fear and you choose to do things afraid anyway. That's the only way you'll feel courage."
Martha McSally•Mid-episode
"Leaders are built. It's like going to the gym and doing reps. There are tools that people can do to become a leader and develop the leaders below them."
Martha McSally•Mid-episode
"Our outer world matches our inner world. Lottery winners go broke because they don't think they deserve it. Their inner world is still one of scarcity."
Martha McSally•Mid-episode
"I'd rather be in the arena than complaining about the arena. When you feel that call to duty, when you feel that fire in your belly, you can't turn it off."
Martha McSally•Late episode
"Do the inner fucking work. You can be successful on the outside and successful on the inside, but our journeys are about connecting with the essence of who you are."
Martha McSally•Closing remarks
Full Transcript
I got to the Air Force Academy and I found out it was against the law for women to be fighter pilots and it just pissed me off. And I took, that was where I took my rebellious spirit and I was like, well, that's what I'm actually going to do. Ambitious, empowering, brave. Martha McSally is a former U.S. Senator and military fighter pilot. She was the first American woman to fly an Air Force fighter jet in combat and the first woman to command a U.S. fighter squadron. Don't ever tell me you can't do something because you're a girl. That's exactly what I'm going to go fight." Over her 26-year military career, Martha flew hundreds of combat hours in the A-10 Warthog during her deployments in the Middle East and Afghanistan. "...oftentimes the very things that almost crush us are the things that can help strengthen us and propel us." She earned the Bronze Star Medal and multiple Air Medals, retiring as a Colonel. She then represented Arizona in the House of Representatives from 2015 to 2019 and served as U.S. Senator from 2019 to 2020. I've dedicated my life to protecting our country and ensuring a safer world for our allies. Get ready. This interview will encourage you to embrace fear, transform doubt, and reach new heights. Welcome back to The Mellow Millionaire. Today I've got Martha McSally with us. She's a former U.S. Senator, U.S. House of Representatives, Arizona, former fighter pilot of the U.S. Air Force. Her impressive military and political career have made her an enduring icon of courage, conviction, and barrier-breaking leadership. it's great to have you. All right. Well, thanks for that intro. Yeah. So you're living the best life these days. You, uh, how often do you work out and go hiking and all that? A lot. I'm on Martha 3.0 right now. You just talked about Martha 1.0 and 2.0. So yeah, I'm in the private sector. I'm on the board of a few companies. I'm doing keynote speaking. I'm leading adventure experiences, uh, doing some online coaching. So yeah, people, you know, I'd go give keynotes and people would be like, let's go deeper with you. how do we do that? And so I was like, oh, you want to go into the Grand Canyon with a big heavy backpack on your back? Let's go. Let's go deeper. So I started this additional part of my business to bring people on adventure experiences. So did Machu Picchu, Inca Trail to Machu Picchu this summer. Got another Grand Canyon one coming up. It's just a few times a year. I mean, you know, like if you're going to, there's so much noise and we're so busy and especially driven people, driven entrepreneurs, driven leaders. There's just so many distractions. And, you know, ultimately the growth comes from being able to like create the space, but that's hard to do. And we're in the middle of it all. And so like, get it, you know, get to where there's no self uncovered to get out in nature, move your body, get some light into your eyes, you know, get around some inspiration, have those deeper connections with yourself, with others, with God, the divine, with nature, right? That's when you can really like get the bullshit out of it and like have those real conversations around a campfire if you're allowed to light fires, depending on where we go. So that, yeah, that's the purpose of that part. Well, what's the story from flight school or the Air Force that fundamentally shaped who you are today? Well, let's see. So I would say I went off to the Air Force Academy when I was 18 and I had no idea what I was doing. Like anybody who has teenagers who's listening to this, you know, you're making decisions at 17. I was clueless. I mean, on, you know, if I had made my decision on Monday, I had my own chocolate chip cookie business and I was going to go to college and continue my cookie business. And, you know, who knows? You know, I would have I would have been poisoning America with sugar right now. But instead, I end up flying fighter jets. I had lost my dad when I was 12. So that was deeply, deeply impactful, like just rocked my world. He suddenly passed away. He told me to make him proud before he died. Like I was dealing with the grief and I was, you know, and I was trying to make my dead father proud. And, you know, the journey was not an easy one. Right. So I I went to the military in part because I knew I was very driven, but I knew I also could go either way because I hadn't unpacked my shit yet. And I was a little volatile and rebellious. And I just thought it could give me some guardrails for me to grow up. I wouldn't have used those words at the time, but just to do something meaningful and purposeful, you know, while I was, you know, continuing to, you know, continuing to drive, you know, and do something meaningful. So anyway, I mean, I had no idea what I was doing, but I didn't want to be a pilot. Like I was motion sick as a kid. And so I got to the Air Force Academy. I was in the ninth class that had women. And I found out it was against the law for women to be fighter pilots. And it just pissed me off. And I took that was where I took my rebellious spirit. And I was like, well, that's what I'm actually going to do. I'm going to become a fighter pilot. And people are like, it's against the law, Martha. I'm like, I don't care. We live in America. Laws change. And so I just, I literally willed that into existence for my life. Like, I didn't say I might be, I hope I'll be. I was like, I am a fighter pilot. Like, this is what I'm going to be. It was my identity. I just took it on, even though it looked impossible. And there was all these barriers. And I made, I had nothing to do with the change when they eventually like eight plus years later when they repealed the law, but then they didn't change the policy. And then eventually they changed the policy. But I just kept blooming where I was planted and I kept making decisions to keep the dream open. The jet doesn't care if you're a boy or a girl, just cares if you fly, you know, fly well and shoot straight. So I, you know, I got the phone call saying, you still want to be a fighter pilot. You know, we've identified, you know, you earned one and you're going to be in the group that goes first. And I was like, fuck yeah, let's go. Let's go. I mean, it took a couple of years before I eventually, you know, trained in A-10. So then I picked the A-10, brought me to Arizona and Tucson to fly the A-10. I had a choice of any fighter. So, yeah, another moment I remember like yesterday is when they cleared me for takeoff in the A-10 for the first time. And there were no simulators and there's no two seat models. And I'd never flown the plane before. You went through three weeks of training. You had to learn everything about the plane. basically had to build it, you know, all the electronics, the hydraulics, like everything. You had to deal with any emergency, all the checklists. But it was all kind of fake. Like, you know, you would just verbally say, this is what I would do if the engine was on fire. And then your engines are revving, you're taxiing down the end of the runway, and they clear you for takeoff. And I just remember, like, I feel like I'm going to throw up. Like, I've never flown this plane before. It was almost 10 years from when I entered the Air Force Academy to when I was clear for takeoff. Right. And I had a decision in that moment. Right. What am I going to do? Am I going to like throw up in my mouth and taxi back in and say, like, this is crazy. I'm not doing this. Or am I going to take off afraid? So that was a pivotal moment for me to like a lot of people think courage is, you know, where you don't feel fear. But courage is actually when you feel the fear and you choose to do things afraid anyway. So I took off afraid. If you really call to do this, then like do it afraid. That's the only that's the only way you'll feel courage. Hey guys, I wanted to jump in and give you some context here. On in the 1980s when Martha was in flight school, the Department of Defense had a combat exclusion policy that prevented women from flying in direct combat roles, especially in fighter aircraft. It wasn't until 1995 that the Air Force allowed Martha to become the first female pilot to fly in combat, operating the A-10 Warthog in support of Operation Southern Watch in Iraq. It took two more decades for Martha's advocacy to pay off. In 2015, the Secretary of Defense finally opened all combat roles in the U.S. military to women, a landmark shift in American military history. Martha's fight for equality didn't stop at combat roles. She also challenged military policies that treated female service members differently overseas. While stationed in Saudi Arabia, U.S. military policy required women to wear a traditional abaya, a head-to-toe robe when off-base, even though male service members weren't similarly expected to adopt local religious dress. In McSally v. Rumsfeld, she sued the Department of Defense, claiming that the policy treated women as inferior to men, which led to the policy being changed, and Congress passing legislation that prohibited similar DOD requirements in the future. All right, history lesson over. Let's get back to the episode. So what decision-making framework did you develop that you now translate into leadership coaching? Because I'll tell you what, leaders are built. And this is the one thing the world needs is more leaders. I mean, I look at this business. I look at every business. And everybody's saying, how do I get the next leaders? How do I get the right people to actually lead from up front and actually, like, look after people and understand it's a privilege? Yeah, exactly. No, leaders are like they're not born, right? They're built. And it's like going to the gym and doing reps, right? So there are tools that people can do to become a leader and to develop the leaders below them. When I giving keynote speeches these days I focus on a theme of how to be unbreakable be an unbreakable leader And what does that mean Doesn mean that you not taking hits It doesn mean you not failing It doesn mean that challenges are not coming What it means is that you have the capacity to deal with anything that is thrown your way and you are showing up authentically. You are not reacting. You're not acting out of fear. You're not acting out of something that you haven't unpacked from your own past that you're still walking around with, right? And you are truly, you know, showing up to your team, leading people through their fear to bend and not break, you know, with whatever challenge comes your way. And so I walk people through a framework, but, you know, the theme of it is lead yourself first, right? Like leadership starts with leading yourself first. And a lot of times when we're talking about leadership, we want to give people external strategies and kind of operational stuff or tactics. And my approach is from the inside out, not the outside in. And the best leaders that I've worked for, the best leaders I've worked with, when I'm in my best higher self as a leader, it's because first, I am truly connected with who I truly am. Like my zone of genius, which is Gay Hendricks words that he used. What is it that I uniquely am gifted with that I am bringing to this company, to this team. And not trying to be somebody else, not trying to operate outside your zone of genius, but truly like connect with your authentic self, like the essence of who you truly are, right? Not what somebody else wants you to be, not trying to pretend, because that's when people get into imposter syndrome and they get into like whatever in their head is when they're actually trying to be something they're not, right? So I bring everybody through, it's the wedge framework. Wedge is my call sign when I was in the military. And we can't go through all of it today. But the first, the W stands for who are you? And really making sure that that leader is connected with their true essence of what they bring to the table. Is it innovation? Is it vision? Is it follow through? Is it whatever it is? Like those go through a process so that you are very aware. I literally have like 15 words on my wall. It starts with I am unbreakable. I am courageous. I am integrity. I am generous. I am growing. There's like 15 of them. I went through an exercise and I bring people through it. Like, how do you connect with who you are? When somebody asks you who you are, it's not I'm an entrepreneur. It's not I'm, you know, the COO. I mean, that's what we say in this world, right? That's we usually are focused on roles. But I wish people could like have under their title. I'm an innovator. You know, I'm a follow through person. I'm a systems guy. You know, you know, I am I'm generous. I'm a team builder. I'm whatever it is. So go through, if this were your 80th birthday toast or your eulogy, what words would you want people to use that actually capture who you are? When you can be the best leader is when you're truly grounded in yourself. You're being honest about where you are. You're even honest about what you're afraid of, you know, right? And you're leading teams as other human beings authentically. They're not robots. They're people. That's great. I really appreciate that is figuring out who you are and what your strengths are. And in areas that, you know, you just feel expansive in. Right. And I mean, you keep pushing yourself so you get better and better. It's not that you're just resting in your strengths. Right. But we each have unique attributes that are strengths of ours. So, yeah, why would we be if you're a quick start? Why would you put somebody in charge of the spreadsheets and the follow through in the project? Like, not only are they not are they going to suck at it, it's going to feel contractive to them. Like they're going to get out of bed in the morning and be like, oh, God, you know, I got to work. And then you think they're showing up as the best version of themselves on your team? No way. They're looking for another job, probably. Or they're hiding, you know, and then they feel bad because they're not. You know, just like figure out what those strengths are and put people in the right seat on the bus and make sure you have all all the right. You know, the understanding of what attributes are needed for each seat on the bus. A lot of people that tell me that they're like, dude, I just want to do what you did. I'm like, it's like I enjoy it, but I had to work for 20 years. to kind of learn how to handle it. You know, that's why lottery winners go broke right away. Because it's like all of a sudden people start showing up in their lives that are like, who are you? You went to grade school, you know? Yeah, I think the other part of that, not to go off on too much of a tangent, but I do believe that our outer world matches our inner world. And oftentimes lottery winners go broke because they don't think they deserve it. And their inner world is still one of scarcity. For their outer world, they end up making decisions that have them lose this abundance and they get back to matching their inner worlds. I got three questions I ask on every, and we still got plenty of time. So what's one piece of game-changing advice you wish you knew in your 20s? Oh, man. I wish I understood that everything doesn't have to be the hard brute force, work harder than everybody else and brute force your way through every wall. Sometimes you can go over the wall or around the wall or blow up the wall. Like you, I just thought everything had to be hard when I was younger and I was going to outdo, outwork, out persevere, like everybody. And that served me until it didn't. Right. And I now realize and I had to go through all that to kind of get to a better understanding now where I was like, all right, I've graduated from those lessons. It doesn't mean you're not working. It means that you create the space to connect with who you are and kind of get inspired as to what action to take. Right. And if you if you're able to, like, sit with yourself and kind of allow that spaciousness to get the divine downloads or whatever, you know, whether it's your right brain intuition, the answer comes to you in the shower. Like you've got to create the space to be trying to solve something like, ah, that's the person I need to call. Like take take inspired action instead of brute forcing everything in order to achieve. You know, it worked for me. I think I've tried to take the shortcuts and not meaning like you got to do hard work if you want to get in shape. But the shortcuts where I bring an apple to my teachers, I said, listen, I'm getting a scholarship, although I was getting a $2,000 Pell grant. And I say, if I fall below a 4.0, I'm going to lose this money. So can you let me know? I work with a teacher's assistant. I'll get a tutor. And I'm telling you, so many times I was on the fence of a B or an A. And they'd say, look, if you kill this last presentation, I want to make sure they'd circle my name. It was always circled in the roster. And I try to go above and beyond most of the things I do, but I'm like, wait a minute. If there's a way to get home quicker. Yeah, smart. If you had to start over with $10 million tomorrow, where would you put the money? Would you put it into stocks and bonds to our businesses? Would you put in the S&P? Would you put in the Bitcoin? What would you do with it? I think for me, you know, abundance is about experiences. It's about making good investments so that it can keep creating more abundance. and it's about, so it's not about hoarding it, right? It's about legacy and about, you know, giving to others. So I'm not gonna pick one investment over the other, but I think it's like, hey, don't be hoarding it. Don't be only focused on like, all right, I don't make the 10, the 20, but make responsible decisions about like, allow the money to be spitting off what you could, you know, live off of if you wanted to just like get in your camper van and, you know, just do whatever you want for a year, right? So you don't have the golden handcuffs. But also you like the resources are for experiences like you talked about. Right. So as long as you keep it about experiences and it's not about status, what kind of experience is going to use this resource, these resources for so that you can have those experiences with friends and family and others you love. Do something new, do something different, do something that challenges you. So focus on that. And then legacy. I mean, I have a scholarship fund right now and it's called the Dare to Fly Scholarship. I partner with the Arizona Community Foundation, and my intent is to find people who are diamonds in the rough, who have been through adversity or often have generational trauma, generational dynamics, but they have shown some inkling of saying it stops with me, and they're fighting their way forward. And I invest in them and I mentor them so that they can stop the generational cycles and they can, you know, have an inflection point in their life that changes their lives. So definitely kind of invested in what you care about in order to make a difference in other people's lives. Yeah. What's the biggest professional dream at the current moment for you? I'm in Martha 3.0 right now. And so I'm in a state of reflection. Martha 3.0 is about maximum freedom of time because I never had that in the military and in politics. Right. So for me, it's maximum freedom of time, maximum abundance to me and through me, maximum impact and minimum grinding. and that's the stage that I've been in for the past now. I mean, you know, kind of five years into it. I've been in a reflection state for the past few months of like, all right, you know, just kind of meditating prayerful whatever people beliefs are for me I just you know kind of spend time throwing up to you know God like am I doing what I supposed to be doing right now Is there some our friend Jeff Hayes is constantly telling me I playing small right now and I have something bigger that I should be doing. And I usually tell him to go away because I've already done enough grinding in my life. I've already done enough big things. And I feel like I don't need to prove anything else to myself or anybody else. Like I've served, I've worked hard, but I'm about like impact experiences, solving problems for people and abundance. And so what does that look like? Is there a big calling I have to do something new and different? Is there a Martha 4.0 coming where I'm a leader? You know, I'm talking to somebody right now about maybe starting a business together and I'm just trying to be reflective about I don't want to get myself where I'm all of a sudden grinding again because of somebody else telling me I need to be doing more. So I'm just being reflective, like, all right, all right. You know, what do you want me to do? What's the next mission? I want to make sure it continues with having some freedom of time for me because that's really important. So we'll see. To be continued. Man, a decade goes by and you're like, you could learn so much from the past. So I like that quality. Yeah. What would you rather be? This was an interesting question that popped up a couple episodes ago and I had to really think about it. It's a very hard question. Would you rather be loved or respected? I think my life has shown that I'd rather be respected that I think that's that can it can tend to be women probably answer it more wanting to be loved I wanted to be loved but but at the same time the best mentors I've ever had and that was my next question is yeah I really respect them they told me the hard truth they were honest with me so I think it'd be both I think it's a it's a trick question because I also think if you're I'm trying to get too woo here but if you're looking for somebody outside of you to make you feel loved and feel like you're enough, then you got work to do. You got inner work to do, right? Like we can't, if we outsource feeling enough and feeling love and feeling bliss to another person, then you also outsource your misery to them. Like they, they get to do, they get to, you know, you're, you're, you're outsourcing instead of insourcing saying like, you know what, I'm going to be on the journey where I am love and I am enough and I am respect. And then I'm going to exude that to others. And then I'm going to attract that to myself. And I am in a status of well-being overall. And I'm not looking for someone else to validate that. It's not we're not there. I'm not there. I'm on the journey, though. And I am very more aware of when I'm outsourcing versus when I'm like just staying in my, you know, in my inner contentment. we're not fully outsourcing our wellbeing. Yeah, no, you shouldn't. You're right. You do give the misery away too. And I would say like, I want to be valued. I don't need to be like, there's a lot of haters out there that never met me. Right. So like, look, I don't really care what a lot of people think. And I don't read, I don't need to read a million books. I need to read the same 10 books a lot. You know, the people that I'm the closest to, they don't call me out. They call me up, but it's tough. Sometimes, I mean, I've teared up talking about it. When someone calls me and says, you're better than this. I have a question. Do you feel like you can call them up when you're in a place of doubt or feeling alone or feeling like you're struggling? You've got an emotion coming up that's uncomfortable. Do you have people who you can be honest with? I don't really do that very often. You know what I've learned to do is go on long walks and actually – I have a funny shirt that someone bought me and said, sometimes I need to talk to myself because I need to talk to an expert. but I kind of live in my own head a lot of the time. So I go on these long walks, usually three or four miles, not that long compared to most people. But sometimes I just need to be in my own head and like think through things. And I do like to hear other people's perspectives. Probably the most, on my grave, I wanted to be the best dad ever. I'm not a dad yet. I wanted to be the most curious guy and he fell in love with the game. He fell in love with practice. Okay, so Dare to Fly is your book, The Simple Lessons of Never Giving Up. Yeah, I got one for you here. I'm going to sign it for you. Let's do it. So what's the hardest, what was the hardest story to write? I would say two things. One was writing in the book about being abused by my high school coach after my dad died. People who know me knew that this happened to me, but like saying it to the whole world that I had been through this was a whole nother step for me to be able to not just survive it, not just heal from it, but integrate it into it's a part of who I am and it's a part of what made me who I am. I don't think I would have said, don't tell me I can't fly fighter jets because I'm a girl had I not been through that. So I'm grateful in a weird way for the traumatic experiences I've had. But writing it down, I didn't get into gory details. The point was about like so many women and men have been through something similar. And, you know, it's easier for women to talk about it than men. But a lot of men have been been through some sort of abuse when they were kids, sexual abuse or assault when they were younger. And so just being able to say that out loud to be an example for others, that it doesn't have to define you, it doesn't have to hold you back, it can actually, I turn it into jet fuel. That was really challenging. And writing about losing my dad, what was interesting is, you know, this is back in the 70s where people just didn't, we didn't go to counseling, nobody really talked about it. We all just sort of went on our own journeys of dealing with it. And I actually reached out to my siblings to get their perspectives of what happened in that 48-hour period and what their recollections were when my dad was in the hospital. And that was actually beautiful. I mean, it wasn't hard, but it was kind of beautiful to get because I was 12 and I just was experiencing it the way I was. And so for the first time, you know, like decades later, we're actually as a family talking about the night we lost our dad. And so that was actually a beautiful connection to have and to hear very different perspectives from my siblings. Yeah, look, I always think about that day. You know, tomorrow's not promised even for me. And it's like, you know, there's this thing I saw. It's a death clock. And it's like if you're going to live to be 75, some people live to be 100. But it actually is ticking down. It makes you think a little bit about like clocks ticking. And a lot of the AI stuff I've been reading is like you're losing life. You're dying today. You're dying every day. So there's a great, our friend Jason Campbell, you know, right? He leads a breathwork program that I jump into. And so he's always dropping little wisdom bombs in that. And he talks about it's like an old ancient practice of practice dying every night. And it sounds morbid, but I love this practice. And I've been instituting it where you essentially, you're intentional about when you put your hand on the pillow and you're getting ready to go to sleep, you've experienced enough. Like you actually reflect just briefly. like if I don't open my eyes tomorrow I'm complete my life is complete I've experienced enough and I'm going to sleep I kind of want to say a really good prayer yeah I go through a little debrief of the day too about like hey is there anything I need to do differently tomorrow is there anything where I didn't show up as my best self so I do that and just literally the last thing is I'm falling asleep and then every morning the first thing when I wake up like I mean it's literally now part of my morning routine is I got another day I literally say I got another day you know and so it's like just to have that perspective of like, wow, we got another day. No, it doesn't mean you have to go, you know, climb a mountain or do something big. You may have to just do your laundry and go to the grocery store. But just having that gratitude of I got another day, like live each day truly with gratitude because we don't know. I mean, my dad was there one day and gone the next. I've had friends who died in the military. I've had friends who died in car accidents. And again, not to be morbid or fearful, but just living a full life every day without regrets. we'll get the closeout question we'll go quick here so you got to pick up the book dare to fly if you're looking for a great speaker martha mcselli a world of experience great leader been through a lot is there any other book that's changed your life that you'd recommend um i'd probably say the untethered soul um is that by michael singer i think it's it's essentially as part of kind of just our you know our spiritual journey to be able to be present where we are, to the way he even talks about the voice that everybody has in their head and how if like if it was a person sitting on your couch, how like you'd kick them out of the house because of how crazy they are, right? Just being honest about being the kind of observer about what's happening in your life and not being attached to, you know, not being attached to the things that usually are like bogging us down. I don't know. It's worth just reading. It was deeply moving for me, kind of a part of my emotional, spiritual journey. And it just resonated as deep truth. Deep truth. I'm going to read it. I'm curious. You know, I've always really wondered because you you never really talked about this I never heard you talk about it It was almost like something that you just wanted to stay away from like your time as in the House and Senate And you know I understand it like if you don play those games and if you it kind of they call the swamp for a reason But is that something you'd be open to talking about? I hate politics. I hate politics. Like I joke that I left the military in parks. It's so damn political and bureaucratic. But I just part of who I am is I can't walk by a problem, much to the frustration of me and people in my life, because sometimes I wish I could walk by a problem, but I can't, right? So if I'm complaining about something, I'm always looking at myself in the mirror like, what are you going to do about it? Like, get your ass in the arena. Like, the man in the arena, the Teddy Roosevelt quote, like, I've got that yellowed cutout of when I first read it as a cadet at the Air Force Academy, still that same cutout on my refrigerator because it spoke so deeply to me. I'm the woman in the arena kind of person. And so it's a crazy story where I'm overseas. I retired. I was working as a professor, teaching national security studies. to all these people from former Soviet countries. And I just felt this call to duty, like I had more to do and more to give. And I was like, no, no, no, I was trying to lie down to that feeling went away. I just do not want to get involved in politics. But I ended up like very abruptly quitting my position, flying home and saying, I'm running for Congress. What do I do? Do I file a paperwork somewhere? I had no idea what I was doing. And I would not advise anyone else doing it that way. But when you feel that call to duty, when you feel that fire in the bed, you can't turn off. And in this case, it was running for other people, maybe like, you know, starting a new business or they feel like there's a real problem they can solve to help people. Like you can't turn that off. You know what that feeling is like. Right. You you either can turn it off and then go scroll on Netflix or get a drink and try to numb yourself or you go, OK, let's go. Let's let's go. Right. So next thing you know, I'm like running for Congress, you know, building a team, trying to figure it out. And I was just trying to serve and make a difference, you know, just like I did in uniform. It's a different combat zone to me. It's just Washington, D.C. And I'd rather be in the arena than complaining about the arena. So it took me three years to get elected. I got elected by the nearest victory in the House, 167 votes after a 43-day recount. Actually, in 2012, I thought I had won. I went to freshman orientation, voted for the speaker, and then they counted more ballots for 14 days. And I ended up losing by like 0.84 percent. And so then I ran again for, you know, two years of trench warfare and then very, you know, very split district that I was representing down Tucson south of the border. And so I did that for four years. And then I was appointed to John McCain's Senate seat after he passed away, served there for two years, didn't hang on to the seat in 2020. And now I'm on Martha 3.0 in the private sector. Look, it's it is a frustrating place by design. Like the founding fathers set the federal government up to be frustrating where you can't just do massive change all at once. Right. Like just, whoa, the pendulum swinging one side or the other. Like they set it up. So we've have the checks and balances. So like there's supposed to be some oversight of, you know, the executive branch tries to overreach. Then you have the legislative and the judicial branch that have different levers. They pull an oversight of that. And similarly, you may have a brilliant idea as a legislator, but if you can't figure out how to get consensus and get it through the House and get it through the Senate and get it signed by the president, which may be opposite party. And, you know, I can't remember who described it this way, but, you know, the House is supposed to be like the hot cup of coffee, like the voice of the people every two years. Right. The people are like, ah, they're mad about whatever. And that's what the House is supposed to be. And the Senate was supposed to be like the saucer, like, whoa, whoa, whoa. You know, there's supposed to be the adults in the room. hey hold on like let's look at the longer view let's look at the big picture what's best for the country because they're supposed to be every six years that's what it was supposed to be and that's what it kind of used to be um even though you would always see the friction on you know cable tv but it's so it's always been frustrating even in this is not new if you look at the early days of of our country or even obviously you know time of abraham like it was cantankerous it was it was combative, right? So it's frustrating by design. So the way I would look at it is, so I would look at it like, all right, somebody will bring me a problem. And I would say, is this a government problem? First question, right? And sometimes it is, but I philosophically didn't think it should be. Like I'm conservative, right? I think the federal government should be limited and effective in what they do to do some of the basics, but it's grown too big. It's doing way too much, right? So philosophically, I may believe that something is not a federal or a government issue at all. So, OK, is it a federal government issue? Because people would come to me at the dog part, you know, complaining about potholes like, sorry, call the city. That's not that's not me or the county. So if the answer was yes and yes, is a federal government issue. I used to sarcastically say, does this literally take an act of Congress to fix? Because not everything should. Like sometimes in our oversight of federal agencies, especially when they're of the same party, we usually have a better relationship where we can like get the cabinet secretary on the phone and be like, hey, what's going on with this issue? This regulation is just crushing small businesses. And like, it's here's all the negative effects. See if you can get them to, you know, adjust it or whatever. And if it literally takes an act of Congress, then you need to craft the legislation. You've got to get support, get it out of committee, get it on the floor. 98 percent of the bills, you know, like die on the floor of being introduced. So I would actually try to get it across the finish line, which is not being on cable news every single day and Twitter. It's actually like doing the job of an effing legislator, right? It doesn't sell, right? And so I mean, my freshman term, I was an outside group evaluates members of Congress, and I was ranked the ninth most effective member of Congress, my freshman term. So I was like getting shit done, right? So it was frustrating. By design, it was frustrating. I would say, you know, there's an opportunity, though, because you're in the room. So you're not, you don't feel helpless. You feel like I'm hearing from my constituents, I can actually do something about it. And there, I mean, we were able to, I was able to be as effective as possible in a very, very challenging and frustrating environment, but was able to solve problems for very real people. And so I'm proud of that. I was really grateful for the opportunity. What is the best way to get ahold of you if someone wants to reach out? My website's MarthaMcSally.com. We're redoing it right now, but there's a way to get on my email list. They can certainly email me if they want directly. MM at Martha McSally.com. Is there a social handle you like? Martha McSally is pretty much on all the profiles. So I'm LinkedIn more on the business side of things. And I'm on Instagram and Facebook, you know, more on the personal side of things. Yeah. And then we talked about a lot of things. You could give us anything you want to close us out, anything you want the audience to hear. I would just encourage everybody who's listening. I'm sure you're all driven people. and you're changing the world, you're doing amazing things. You know, you're running companies, you're a part of, you know, doing really important things in the world. You're building wealth, you're getting a lot of resources and abundance for you. That is awesome. You know, keep doing what you're doing, the world needs you, but also like connect with who you are and do the inner fucking work, like do the work because that is never going to satisfy you. And you can do both. You can be successful on the outside and successful on the inside, but our journeys on this earth are about really connecting with the essence of who you are, expressing yourself in the world through work and through relationships based on that true essence. And so don't leave that part behind. It's really important in how you show up in your business, in your relationships, for you to like unpack the shit that's holding you back, to be honest about the fears that you're dealing with that are holding you back and really be showing up as your authentic higher self. It's the most courage it takes is to do that work. Just, it's really important. Great. I got a lot out of this, Martha. I really appreciate you coming in today to the studio. Yeah, thanks, Tommy. It was a great conversation. Fantastic. Thanks so much for listening to this episode. Like always, we're going to close it out with the Tommy truth, which is a little slice of wisdom from me to you that can help guide you in whatever you're striving towards right now. A lot of people say, I'm just not close to a gym. I don't have time to work out. That's not true. I did 150 pushups this morning. I walk a quarter mile on the treadmill, 25 pushups. When you're at a mile and a half, you've done 150 push-ups. And then I did 150 sit-ups. I do 75 at a time. I just do crunches. So if you don't have a lot of time you travel, this will fit in a bag anywhere, right? It's so easy. It's just a band. You can do a lot of push-ups. You can do sit-ups. You can go like this. You can change it around where you're getting your chest in. You can do things for your back. I can't tell you enough how important it is, how much less stress I have, less anxiety, no depression, because I work out regularly. And that's it, guys. We'll talk to you next week. you