Once We Recorded Live | Episode 22

I have to... All right. It's mine tomorrow. Or Monday. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Woo! Woo! Thank you. Woo! Wow. Thank you. Alan, do the thing. Oh! Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode, the first live episode of Once We Were Spacemen. Hi. Once we were spacemen. I tend to play weird people. Usually aliens and robots and things that don't have romance. I once didn't get a job where they were looking for a Nathan Fillion type. Once we were spacemen. Once we were spacemen. Once back in a long ago time, the early double arts, we were joined together on a spaceship. We were much younger then. We had not yet become spacemen. But now we are spacemen. And that's it. It's hard to believe you don't pre-prepare those. I know. I know. Really. I'm coming at you. Amazing. This is where it all started. In Washington, D.C.? No. Oh, boy. Let me. I should be more accurate. Yes. The panel thing that we're doing right now is where it all started. This is why we have a podcast. Michelle Chapman who abhors attention. Which is why you give it to her constantly. Yes. If you see Michelle Chapman today, you just don't touch her. Just extend your hand and say, you're worthy of love. It was Michelle Chapman's idea for many years pushing this idea of us doing a podcast. I thought, who wants to listen to what we got to say? Keep saying Alan Tudyk like I know who that is. That can't be a real name. It's real. It's real. But we did it. We did. This is we've been doing the podcast now. I don't know how many episodes we have. 20 episodes? Really? Yeah, I think 20 something episodes. We haven't released that many, but yeah. Some are. Yeah, we have some in the pocket. We got some in our pocket. We pocketed a couple. But yeah, it's been very fun to get to hang out as much as we do. I agree. I see you more now than I have in the past 20 years. I know. It's your fault for working so much. This is true. But it's, you know, and it was also, it was, I realized the first time I got to tell you, man, you disappeared. There was, there really was a moment when we were hanging out, when we did Firefly, we were hanging out every day. And well, when we were shooting Firefly, it was hard to hang out with him because he was always working. Some of us were in space more than others. And when we did, which one was the one where we got tortured? What was that one called? War Stories. War Stories. When we did War Stories, you kept saying, this is your schedule? Yeah. I really did. And it was surprising. It was just awful. But after Firefly, we hung out a ton. We'd be hiking in the hills. We were playing X-Box. And we were going to movies and swimming pool in my backyard and barbecues. Every day. Every day. There was something. And then we'd have jobs here and there. And then if they were jobs that last long time, we'd come to my job. Yeah. I'd ship out to Vancouver to hang out with you because we were working in Vancouver. Yeah. And then a castle landed on you. For eight years. Castle chats. It was a fantastic show. Yeah. You were very funny on it. Thank you. You were very good. Thank you. It wasn't just a comedy. But yeah, you were gone. Yeah. You were not the only friend to notice it. I used to get phone calls from people saying, hey, are we okay? Like, we're good, right? Like I never hear from you. And it was, I had no life. I had no life outside of work. Yep. The rookie? Far easier. Far easier schedule. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to tell you right now. Far easier schedule. Then you got Resident Alien, right? Yeah. Thank you. And you took off. And I left. I went back to space. And then I crashed again on Earth. I've crashed so many times. But Alan, this is where it all started. This is where it all started. It is. You invited me to my first con in London. Black pool. Yeah. Black pool. But see, it was sold to me as London, which was my first experience. And there used to be a lot of this where it'd be like, you want to come to London? Oh my God, do I? And then you land and they're like, and we're here. Did we leave the airport? Not really, no. It's part of the airport. But we're in Blackpool and we were just near Heathrow Airport. And it was a blast. It was crazy. I remember everything was a little moist. And I went back there a few times. I wasn't put off by it. But it was the first time I was meeting fans. And I had never been to a con before. You were already initiated in cons as just someone who went to a con? I think I had like one or two under my belt by the time you came. But that wasn't like a professional by any means. Did you ever dress in a costume, like in cosplay? The very first one I went to, Alan, there was a woman there who dressed as you. No way. Oh, but oh. Riding a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Oh, this is a Blackpool. In Blackpool. Yeah. And I said, Alan's got to come see this. This is ridiculous. It was like Jurassic Park quality T-Rex. It was incredible. She did it in her living room. And just it was incredible. But she had what looked like she pulled your face off and put it on her face. Oh my God. Then she pulled my face off. Yes. Yeah. She made a bust of me because I got to talk to her. When I went, she wore it again for me. And it was amazing. And she made a bust of my face and then did a mold of my bust. We're back to my bust again. It just keeps coming back. God bless you. And then yeah, it was very good. It was a very good time. There were no cameras. There were no any of that. And I remember, it just seemed a little bit off the chain. It was a bit wild. It's always fun. It's always exciting. It's always so thrilling to be these things. My favorite part, I'm going to say the panels are my favorite part. Yep. Yep. So agreed. I think to that end, I think right before we're going to do some, we're going to do some panel questions because we always like to see where you guys are at. Let's do what's tickling you. Right before we do, Alan, I would love to get to know you better. Oh yeah. Does anyone know the song? Yep, I do. Okay, so it goes, let's do it together because we do it together. I know you and you know me. Let's get to know you better. It was perfect. Nathan, tell me something about yourself that I don't know. Alan, I am built for comfort. I am not built for speed. Okay? I am like a relaxed lifestyle kind of fellow. I like anything that aims my day towards chill and relaxation. I thought you were going to say towards chair. Towards chair. That's part of it. Or sofa. That's part of it. Super comfy chair. Yeah, absolutely. Like this chair here, you never find this one in my house. Not enough back. Not enough back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not enough back on this. So to that end, Alan, I'm going to say, I have two words for you. Elastic laces. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm listening. I'm wearing them now. You wouldn't know the difference. Telling you right now, buddy, any shoe you have, bedroom slipper. Take them off. Shoom. Put them on. Shoom, shoom. What was that? I don't know what happened. It was like a delayed yes. I love it. Slippers. So I feel like that is just a baby step towards Velcro, my friend. I mean, I want to say it. You'd be wrong. Here's the thing. Velcro, you got to go down there and you got to like tear and set it up. Right. No touch. No touch. Your care worker will help you with that. They do that for you. 55. It's coming fast. Bringing the belt. My shoes. I think that sounds great. That is great. And all sorts of colors to match all sorts of shoes. I wear them at work. My police boots at work. Elastic laces. Yeah. Wow. I got them for the rest of the cast. They go, why would I? And then they go, oh yeah, yeah. It saves like, I don't know how many minutes a day I can, I get those minutes back. Alan, I'm going to send them to your new place in New York. I'm going to send you some elastic laces. Thank you. And I'll give you some of those colors. We'll get your care worker to put them on your shoes. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. Alan, I wanted you to know that about me. I'm going to take from this that you wear elastic on your shoes. Because I did not know that. I did know you were built for comfort, not for speed. Now you know how far I'll take. Now I'd see. I had never defined it. I just sort of understood it. It's a difference in us. Not that I'm that speedy guy, but I'll also do fashion. I'll go for a uncomfortable fashion. That is not, first of all, age-appropriate at times. Definitely, but then also things that are uncomfortable, but they look good. That I'll wear things or I'll have furniture that is uncomfortable. You knew this about me when you met me. Yes, yes. All of my furniture used to say looks great. Yeah. And you can't sit in any of it. No. Yeah. I love it. It's all that modern, cool, really cool stuff. I mean, it brings me joy. And I can sit in it and it doesn't feel uncomfortable to me. Anyway, but I knew this about you. As I'm moving into my AARP days, I'll be glad to take your influence and put some laces in my shoes probably. Just not on any of my fashion. This segment of our show, Let's Get to Know You Better, was like the first, when I said, hey, let's do a podcast, it was the first thing you said, I want to do a part of the podcast where we do this. And I got to say, it's been a joy. Yes. It's been a joy at this part. So Alan, let's... And then as soon as you said that, I said, oh great, and I wrote that jingle. Yes, you did. Yeah. And we recorded it, it was me and you, and I was playing on a little thumb piano thing where you're plinking at the little nails on there. Yes. Yeah, okay. Alan, let's get to know you better. Oh my God. Well, I have a couple of things. I have one that is a grievance, which is just a grievance. And you don't know that I have this grievance. It's new. It's a new grievance in the world. Come to the age. You wouldn't believe these days. I'll tell the grievance. Let's go, I like the grievance. Okay, I like the grievances. Let's go with that. I have a new name on my enemies list. I, yeah, yeah, enemy. This enemy's list is not long. I don't spend a lot of time on the past or any of that, but now I've had to scrawl in blood on my grievance list, pup cups. I don't even know what a pup cup is. God bless it. Exactly. And you shouldn't. You shouldn't know what they are. The hell is a pup cup? They have arrived out of nowhere and people refer to them as if you know what they are. How we got to get our dog a pup cup? And they say it to you like it's a thing. Got to get a pup cup. My dog loves a pup cup. Go to Starbucks, they go, do you want a pup cup? You got a dog in a car, you want a pup cup? These two words together, pup cup, don't work. I guess this goes with this. There's discomfort in that for me. There's an, the onomatopiatic, I don't know. It's the plosives together, the brightness of the ah in, ah in pup cup that there's something bad coming. You know it's not, it's fomenting. It's foreshadowing danger and trouble in your life. So what is it you say you asked just earlier? I did, I did. I'll tell you, it's a cup that has like whipped cream in it, right? And it's for your pup. And they eat them and they love them because it's creamy goodness. You know what else is creamy? The shit. After they eat it, hey, hey. Ah. You cannot give cream to a dog. Some of them are, some pup cup switch was, which we were pointed to and my wife just innocently went, oh, that sounds like a thing we want and they will love and all dogs love them. And it's an actual thing that's always existed because we talk about it as if it does. There's one that has yogurt, but it's got like a dog, nutrients and stuff in it and blah, blah, blah. Like you would need it. It is in human consumption. It would taste like a, I don't know, salmon guts. So Alan, is your grievance with the, the person who invented the pup cup or is your grievance with every barista who says, would you like a pup cup? Knowing what is in store for you. I think dogs that have been raised on them, it just fits right in their diet. Their bodies are like, I know what this is. I know how to process this into solids. For my dogs, it's like you're filling a soft serve machine. That's what you put in the top. And then out of the bottom. Now there's an air bubble in there. It's just gonna take a minute to, they gotta let it go. Gotta feed through the system. At two in the morning, near the one rug and thank God, Aunt Clara, my middle dog Aunt Clara did not hit the rug. There was a little, but not enough to kill the rug cause she's killed so many rugs. Anyway, I think my grievance is with, I've on my list, my grievance list, it's with the entire pup cup industrial complex. It's though that it's just been slipped into our society. And there are many, especially youngs in this world who don't even know that there was a world before pup cups. It's just something that exists like, I don't know, ice cream or meatball sandwiches. You're like, oh yeah, a meatball sandwich. That's a thing. This, so anyway, my dogs have diarrhea. Alan Vax. Alan, I wish I could, I wish I could, I wish I had a number for how many times your stories have ended with, so anyway, my dogs have diarrhea. Alan, at this point, I think we should open up the floor to questions. Now, you and I often engage in the practice of having like a little something that we give to people for asking a question. Yeah. And today, I have been endeavoring to like, up the ante, I guess. So today we have, I ordered little, once we were Spacemen, poker chips. Oh, cool. Yes. Thank you, thank you. I remember them now. I also have like little aluminum business cards onto which has been laser engraved by me, the once we were Spacemen logo, your autograph, my autograph, and on the backside of QR code that takes you to everything once we were Spacemen. Now I want you to know, I did not order these, I had, I made these myself. I taught myself how to use this laser engraver. Wait, what? Yeah. I didn't know that. By the way, remember I said, hey, send me your thing. And I was putting them all together on my computer. And you're always doing like, hey, it was like, hey, send me your pin code to your ATM. Send me, I need to buy a laser. Same thing. So each one of these cards took, after all the hours of learning how to use this machine and setting it up and understanding what to do and how to connect to my computer and then getting these things and the heat and the thing and the framing of the thing. So I don't burn my fingers or breathe in the toxic smoke. Each one of these took me three minutes and 22 seconds to make just sitting there. I got that time down to just over a minute. But I just want you to know how difficult it was. Man. Thank God there was a dispensary near your house. Yeah, they don't let me go there anymore. All right, so let's, shall we start on this side over here? Young lady, how are you? Hello, my name is Ashley. Hi, I'm Nathan, this is Alan. Hello. Clearly you both are pranksters. What is your most memorable prank on each other? I haven't done one to Nathan. That's right. You know what? I don't enjoy, I don't think I deserve the title of prankster. It sounds like I'm mean. I enjoy pranks that nobody gets hurt, nothing gets damaged, nobody gets embarrassed. Like it's just like a little thumb is like, yeah, I spent some time now, you know, I was thinking about you and something like that. It's like a sadist. I think the word is sadist. I once, on the rookie on my birthday, I once came to my car and it was full of balloons. Like full of balloons. Were they blown up? Yeah. OK. And that took time and energy. Like I had to go in there and pop all them balloons and I could drive home. That was, that says, hey, man, people was, you know, I was thinking about you and took some time to do. There was the one prank I pulled on you. You had stayed at my house while between the pilot and the series, Firefly Pilot, Firefly Series, you stayed at my house. I was working on something. You took care of my cat. Yes. You left at my house a calendar that your neighbors had made for your family of family photos of your family that you don't really know because it was their photos, not your family photos. Right, right, right. But it was from when you were a kid. Yeah. And like one of them was like someone presenting a lobster to you and you're going, eh. And like, yeah, like seven. Yes. Like little. And you left it at my house. It was on top of my fridge. And I said, huh. This is going to come in handy. And then years later, we were filming Serenity. It was your birthday. Really? It was a Monday. It was a Monday. It was a Monday. It was a Monday. It was a Monday. It was a Monday. Monday will mark the anniversary of this Cigar prank. Right. And it was the scene in the bar where River goes nuts and. Goo-goo. Exactly. Yeah. Kicks everybody's in, all around. Color photocopiers were like a new thing that was like happening. You can copy and color now? That was like a thing. And I had a bunch of copies made of, that you were not totally familiar with. And I had them posted all over that bar. Yeah. And you walked in and went, what? How did, where did you get these? Who could possibly? This had to be Nathan. Yeah. Because I had like looked at this thing once and then forgotten about it. So I, and I had never seen those pictures before. So they were all. And inside of 10 seconds you said, it was Nathan. Who else? Who else? Son of a bitch. Somebody played a prank on you and we still don't know who did it when we did Firefly. And I mean, I have my suspicions, but they were, somebody they were, they realized they went too far. Do you remember? No. They went under your car and put. Zip ties. Zip ties. Around the crankshaft. Yeah. I got to pretend like I don't know what they're called. Something. Zip ties? Yeah. So when I started to drive, I go tic-tac, tic-tac, tic-tac, tic-tac, tic-tac. And it was a brand new car. Yeah. Clearly I was not happy. I was like, that's not something I would, yeah. Did you have to stop your car and not go home or get a, there was an Uber back then? Well, I stopped and I said, what the heck is this? And I backed into my spot again. I heard it again. I was like, that's not good. And I was like, oh, I'm looking under and I look. And I saw them. Wow. I saw them. And I was like, son of a, somebody. I was, but I was still, I was fuming. My brand new car. It was the Reavers. That's not a feeling you want. What's a total Reaver prank? I'm telling you, not a feeling you want to have with a brand new car. And yeah, you have rightly so whoever it was, nobody never fessed up. Nobody came forward. I was either the, what's that? Yeah, it's a rain, I crawled under my car. I crawled under the car. It was, yeah. That was clearly there was a look on my face and a tone in my voice that said, yeah, yeah, that was not, maybe we should have done that. My guess is our Baldwin, because he would know how to do that. And then he would also be like, I didn't do that. Adam, I don't know why my car door was open, but one time my car door was open, Adam took a pylon, it was traffic compilers and jammed it under my brake pedal and put gummy worms along my wipers on a hot day in July. It was totally Baldwin. And I said, dude, those melted onto my windshield. And he goes, yeah, well, I did that because you did the thing to my door. I said, that wasn't me. He goes, oh. Oh. So maybe, maybe it wasn't him. Maybe Bubba. That was the, that was one of the people who was on the crew. Oh, maybe. I don't know. That was the very first question, by the way, at our very first live performance of our podcast. Thank you so much. Just, Ashley, just to make it a little more special, I'm going to give you my watch. I'm going to leave that right there for you. Thank you, Ashley. There you go. Wow. Yeah. Buddy, you spin like you told us all about the poker chips and the laser-graving. And then she didn't, she got a watch. I just wanted it to be special. OK, over here, we have a young lady over here. Hi. Tell me your name. I'm Charlie. That's what I was going to guess. Hey, Charlie. What was your favorite show or movie that you've done other than Firefly? Go, Alan, go. I don't, I don't. I always, I tend to say A Death at a Funeral. Because it was like a play, the way that we rehearsed it. And also the people who were involved in it were a lot of fun to work with. We was directed by Frank Oz, who was Yoda. And he, he's so many things. He does the voice of Grover. Well, he doesn't just do the voice, he puppets Grover and Miss Piggy and Cookie Monster and Animal. I mean, like, you can't, like, ah. He is an icon. He's a Disney legend. But as an artist, he's a true artist. And he won't, he doesn't, yeah. He was like, I don't know what's funny. Like, let's just do this. Like, he follows, he follows artist rules. And he doesn't try to put anything on it. I'm like, you know what's funny? You did the movie Little Shop of Horrors. You know, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. You know what's funny. He's like, nope. You got to go into it with you don't know what's funny and you just have to do what's true. Like, what? And then he ended up making a very funny movie that I happened to be a part of. This was really cool. For me, I will say Firefly was the job that we, the bar that we put all of the jobs to. It was a really great, that was a great time. I made a really good friend on that show. His name was Adam Baldwin. And Alan. The gummy worm guy. Alan, that was almost 25 years ago. Look, we keep talking numbers. There's so many numbers coming at me. Cooler percent. 25 years. I saw, somebody put an edit together, like photos of you and I through the years being buddies, man. We've been buddies a long time. Well, I'm glad we're still here. Me too. But after Firefly, I would say the rookie's probably one of the most fantastic jobs I've ever had. Yes. But also recently, there was a little project that was not only incredibly special to me since I was a little child, but also, it just so happened I got to work on it with my buddy Alan. Yeah. Called Superman. Yeah. Yeah, man. What are the odds that a guy from Edmonton and a guy from Texas should get together on a TV show that was super fun and super cool and be spacemen and become buddies and then 25 years later be in a Superman movie together? Dude. What are the odds of that? That was great. But some pretty amazing times. Charlie, that was a fantastic question. Alan. I want to, can I just, because Charlie, that was a great question. I want you to have my watch. Very nice. I think it's a good idea, Alan. I don't want to be shown up. There you go. Very nice, Alan. Thank you. Over here, we had another question. Hi, I'm Jess. I was listening to the podcast on the way here. And Nathan was talking about gadgets and everything and about the portable day. Yes. And now I need one. So my question is. Was this on our podcast? Yes. Yes. It's like episode 10 or something. It was talking about all the stuff on my Amazon list. It was one of my many, yes. It's a great podcast. You should listen to it. Yes. So my question was, what other gadgets have you bought recently that I need? That is a fantastic question. I'm going to tell you right now that there's a brand new type of nonstick spatula. A nonstick spatula that is fantastic. Also, I don't know if you know this. You can get custom poker chips made. So if you have a business or something and you can get a QR code made up and you have a logo or something, you can pass out a poker chip rather than a business card. You must have loved the SkyMall. You know I did, Alan. You know I did. You can get a big foot face on your tree somehow. I also got this one's from my girlfriend. It's like a little key chain that you hang on the inside of your purse. And if you're going to look into your purse for something, you just touch this thing and it lights up. Oh, ladies. Yeah. Gadgets aren't just for the gents. Now you can see in your darkened cavity that is your purse. Speaking of darkened cavities, can we go back? No, no, no, no. Oh, go ahead. I just want to talk about the portable bidet. Because somehow I spaced out when we were talking about it on the podcast. You questioned it then too. I did. 55. Did you bring it? No. OK. I didn't bring it. OK. You know what I did was I miscalculated how many I needed and I gave them to my family for Christmas. Let me tell you something. First of all, I have a bidet. I went to Japan and the toilet's the heated seats. How civilized. So I got myself a seat. You slap it on your toilet. It's heated and it does the bidet stuff. It's wonderful. And we were, and my brother, I recommended it to him. He got one. We were at Christmas vacation. My brother said, I really miss my bidet. And I was one of his Christmas presents. He didn't say it like that. He's like, I miss Peggy. Who's Peggy? That's what I've named my bidet. It was like that, right? Yeah. Yeah, I like that. OK. That was a lovely question. I wish I had left something to be. I thought you gave your watch away. I'm going to give you my watch. Can you bring this to the front? We're going to have that delivered to you. Did you notice how much she was wearing? No. Good. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. There's a hey-hey in there. Oh, that's that purse. No, no. The young lady who asked the question, oh, she's wearing a post through her chest. Oh, god. That's what we said. Sir, over here on the left. Hello, hello. My name's Patrick. Wow, that's amazing. Oh, that is amazing. What is that? Some gristle. Oh, too soon. Thank you very much. Sorry, please. My name's Patrick. Once in a Hearn Earthman. Nice, very nice. As anyone who doesn't skip the beginning of the podcast, no, Nathan once did not get a role where they were looking for a Nathan Phillion type. Yes. My question, were you not Nathan Phillion enough for their tastes, or was your quote to Nathan Phillion for their wallets? Good question. I'm sure I wasn't expensive at the time, but I got to honestly say, I don't remember what the part was. I think it went to Omar Epps. He is a Nathan Phillion type. But I wish I could remember what that... Well, that says a lot that you can't remember. Like, there's no hardness in your heart on that. No, no. Somebody else who, Ron Glass also told me one time that he lost a role that he went in for. And I laughed, and I thought that was hilarious, and then it happened to me. I thought this isn't funny at all. There's some kind of joke. Epps, you son of a bitch. We went long. We went very long. We're so sorry, guys. I wish I had known there was a clock over here. I should have paid more attention to you guys. Oh, wasn't it just 0-0-0? That's the one. You guys did an amazing job. Thank you for joining us for this first live episode of Once We Were Spacemen. Thank you, everybody. Oh, my God. Thank you for listening. You just bless your heart. You know what? If you haven't yet, why don't you head on over to our Patreon? You're going to get some bonus content. That's extra content. There are longer episodes. There's more there. You know, it's better than less more. You also get a chance to get your hands on some incredible crap, the kinds you don't need to wash off after you're done. And if you love the show, please leave us a review and tell your friends. Once We Were Spacemen is a collision 33 production. The hell that is. The show is produced by Michelle Chapman, Siobhan Holman, oh, yeah, and Josh Levy. I wear them jeans. He is of collision 33. It's all starting to make sense. It's edited and mixed and produced by resident recorders, special thanks to Courtney Blomquist and Adam Townsend. Our theme music is done by Carlos Sosa. The Groovline Horns guy, yeah, and Joshua Moore. Artwork is done by Lewis Jansen. Until next time, I swear to God, I love you. I'm going to give you my watch. Oh, wow.