I chose to IGNORE my step daughter instead of pushing a reconciliation! | Reddit Stories | EP2682

Hey, this is Angie. And this is Dakota, your favorite OK story time hosts. And we've got some great stories coming up. But before that, we have a quick too many break from the sponsors that keep this show running. This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human. No gloss, no filter, just stories, spoken without fear. A person who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhachjo and the I Heart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty. Stay for the fire. I chose to ignore my stepdaughter instead of pushing a reconciliation. Well, I mean, why would you push your stepdaughter? OK, let me give a little backstory since the title automatically makes me sound like the A-hole year. My oldest stepdaughter is now 26 years old. But the issue started two years ago when my husband and our two youngest kids took a trip to Lake Tahoe for a week. By the way, this comes from a Keiyomuno. And if you want to spread your own stories, go to the r slash OK story time subreddit. I'm Sophia. I'm Angie. And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we do. So let us know what you would do in the comments. And OP says, we spent a lot of time on the beach, took tons of pictures of the kids, and posted every single one of them on Facebook so that family could see our 28 male and 26 female children live in Montana. And our 22 female had to work and could not go with us. I don't know if any of you have been to the beaches at Lake Tahoe in the summer, but the trip was mid-July and they were so crowded. We have a plan to maybe do that. Anyway, we got back from our trip and my hubby tried to video call our 26 female daughter. Only to find out she had blocked him on Facebook. He then tried calling and texting her, but got no response. We did not want to drag our 18 male child into the situation, especially since we're not even sure what the situation was to begin with. When we called to check in with him, my hubby simply asked, do you know if we did something to upset your sister? Our 28 male said he didn't know, but that he would ask her. We never really got an answer, but by the time 26 females' birthday rolled around that November, she was suddenly talking to us both again. We sent her money for her birthday because she needed help getting her car fixed. And then sent more money for Christmas for the same reason. The following spring, we made a trip up to see the kids and everything seemed fine. Then June of 2024 came around and she blocked us again out of nowhere. What the frick? Stop it. What's going on? We messaged her on her birthday saying, happy birthday. We love you. And sent her money for her birthday instead of presents since she was not answering her phone and had us blocked. I don't know if I would still keep sending money if she blocked you. Yeah, that's that. Yeah. I don't think I would either. Now it's 2025 and in mid June, their stepfather's mom passed away. The older kids came down for the services and stayed for five days. 26 females stayed with her bio mom, which we were fine with and completely understood without complaint. Our 28 male split his time between houses, staying two nights with us and three at his mom's. On his last day here, he broke down and told me the real reason 26 female cut us off. According to him, she was insulted and disgusted by the pictures we posted from our trip to Tahoe. I was confused. So he explained further. In every pic we took of the kids, there were also women in bikinis in the background. And she felt it was wrong of us to take those pictures and post them without permission. She believed we were focusing on the women instead of the kids. That's so stupid. And that's why she blocked you guys? Instead of being like, hey, like, she probably take those pictures down. Yeah, you know, there's a lot of people. We're like blurring them out. So she just said blocks, never talking to you guys again. What? What? What? Girl, you're at the fricking beach. Yeah. You've already established is super crowded because it's Tahoe in July. Right. What do you mean? This is really just all a big ad for like that, that Google thing where it's like, yeah, AI will like cut out people in the background. If you don't want your daughter to block you forever, use this app. Exactly. The section of beach we were on was about 200 yards long and had over 150 people on it. Most of them women in bikinis. No matter where our kids stood or how much I zoomed in, other people were going to be in the pictures. While she was in town for the services, 26 female did not come to see us once. That part hurt the most, especially because of how much it hurt her father. Seeing him so upset over the situation was honestly heartbreaking. At that point, we still had never heard directly from her about what we supposedly did wrong. Now for the part where I'm wondering if I am the a-hole. I sent her a text message since we're still blocked on social media, asking if there was anything she wanted or needed for her birthday. I sent it two weeks before her birthday and got no response at all. Because of that, I sent nothing. The same thing happened at Christmas. A few hours ago, my husband asked me what I sent her and I told him I didn't send her anything. He got upset and said that was screwed up and that we should have sent her something anyway. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Why are you asking now? What do you want to do with that money so bad? Yes, but also like, if you were so concerned about it, why didn't you take the point on that? Yeah, two months ago. Totally. Why are you asking right now? Right after Christmas. Yes, from my point of view, she only resumed talking to us when she needed help getting her car fixed and then shut us out again once she got what she needed. She has never once talked to us directly about what we did that upset her. She never answers our calls and if we are video calling 28 male who lives with her and two friends, she makes sure she's out of the room until the call is over. I feel like she's willing to talk to us only when she needs something and I genuinely do not believe we did anything wrong to begin with. So am I the A-hole for not sending her anything for her birthday and Christmas? And we've got an update, but what do you think? I think no. No, you asked her. I think it's very rare to be the A-hole for not giving someone money. I'm like trying to think of a situation. Maybe if you're a parent and you like, you have a minor child, yeah, you're gonna want to take care of them. Yeah. This is not that case? No. I think, yeah, you're totally fine. You literally said, what do you need? Yeah, she only had to break her no contact, right? To get this money. That was, that was, it was a very easy prerequisite. Literally. Update. Something a lot of people have mentioned that I would like to address is my husband's lack of involvement with gift giving. That's what I was wondering about. This has been the only year where this is the case. My husband was admitted to the hospital here the Sunday before her birthday and was there for 10 days. He got to come home, then ended up there again and wasn't released until Christmas Eve. I handled the Christmas shopping and wrapping gifts this year. For the first 16 years of our marriage, he helped with every single gift and even helped with wrapping, though he really sucks at it. Another thing that's been mentioned a lot is the possibility that she feels like he's more present with the younger kids than he was for her. This is definitely not the case. When she was growing up, he had more time at home. We traveled more, had more family activities. Now he works longer hours and up until he got sick was working five days a week 50 hour days, 50 hour days, 50 hour, that's not possible. 50 hour weeks, I'm assuming it's meant to say. We do what we can to make sure we do things as a family. We try to go on adventures, but it's not nearly as often as we were able to with the older three. Our kids are 28 male, 26 female, 22 female, 15 male and 14 female. Wow, what a kids. When 26 female blocked us, she cut ties with the other siblings here and only talked to 28 male who lives with her in another state. I'm only able to relay things from our side as she won't talk to anyone here to explain the cause or any issue she has. As I shared with another person who commented, our kids, yes, are all those ages. The older ones are the bonus kids, husbands and his ex-wives kids. And then the youngest, 15 and 14 are OP's. I love calling them bonus kids. That's really funny to me. My husband has always been very involved. 26 female moved 14 hours away with her girlfriend at the time back in 2018. And they talked every other day on the phone. This kept up until the Tahoe trip. We've made at least one trip a year up to visitor apart from this year because they came here instead for the grandma's services where we saw 28 male but not 26 female. Aside from this year, Abhi's been an equal participant in buying gifts and he's the one who sent her $2,200 last year, half for her birthday and half for Christmas to get her car fixed. That is a lot of money. That is a lot of money. $1,100 for birthday and $1,100 for Christmas. Pretty generous. She unblocked him long enough to ask for help fixing her car then blocked him again once he sent the money. 26 female was six when her parents divorced and before that he was always involved. Even switching his work schedule to attend sporting events for them. And update two, Abhi and I talked this morning and I explained why I handle it the way I did and I did apologize for not talking to him first. Not only was I not wanting to stress him out more while he was dealing with his health issues but as I told him, I also know that he let her take advantage of him last year and it put us in a crappy position. Also he could help her and get cut off again. Yes, it upset me but I never questioned him because she's our child. But after her being no contact this entire year and all his health issues that have us paying an insane amount of medical debt off, we can't afford for him to cave like that again. I admitted it was wrong for me to not discuss it with him. I 100% own up to that and I even told him that I'd support his decision to send her money. But it would have to be an agreed upon reasonable amount. Not like the $2,200 she was sent last year. After he explained his side and I explained mine, he said he understands why I didn't send anything and much to my surprise supports it. He said he agrees that she obviously is asking for space and we'll give it to her until she's ready to communicate and we'll be open for her to do so when she's ready. And we've got some comments. Oh boy. Well, what do you think? I mean, I think it's a very, it should have been obvious to be like, yeah, maybe just don't give her as much money. Seems like it would be obvious. Yeah, you would think. Yeah, $2,200 in a year of like just two events. Crazy. It's very generous for them to help her with her car at all. Yeah, at 26. Yeah, at 26 I feel like that's- I'm paying for my car now. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So, I mean, very nice of you parents. Yeah, especially when you have five other kids or four other kids. Yeah, yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot. And this one doesn't even talk to you. Yeah, exactly. Comments. Downvoted commenters says, honestly, I'm leaning not the A-hole, but with a big caveat. It sounds like your stepdaughter has been carrying resentment for a long time and never actually communicated it until now, which isn't fair to you. That said, the Tahoe photos clearly hit a nerve around feeling replaced or minimized, even if that wasn't your intent. Ignoring her entirely for holidays probably reinforced that belief. You don't owe money or gifts to someone who won't communicate, but you might owe a sincere acknowledgement of her feelings if you want any relationship at all. Not an apology for existing or taking photos, but for how it made her feel. In OP response, the Tahoe trip was when she and her brother were already living 14 hours away from us, 16 hours from Tahoe. We did offer for them to go with us if they could make it to our house and write up with us, but 28 males said he couldn't take the time off work and she said she didn't want to go. Well, there you go. She can't feel left out. She didn't want to go in the first place. We can't talk to her about the situation because she's refused to talk to us. When we helped her with her car troubles, she kept the conversations short and to the point and would dodge questions about anything that didn't involve her car. Abbie was just so glad she was finally talking to him again. This year is the first time I completely ignored sending her anything for her birthday and Christmas. I figured it was just be another text message she wouldn't read and another response She hasn't said anything to us and I messaged 28 male to see if she said anything to him and he said no, that he didn't even know we didn't send her anything. He then followed up by laughing and saying, serve, serve, right, act like a witch, get treated like one. And OP explains more about her blended family's background. OP says when Hubby and I first met and moved in together, 26 female was eight and we've always done things with them, trips across country, lake trips, et cetera. Hubby has always made all of his kids his priority at all times. This year, the holidays have been on me present wise because Hubby has been in and out of the hospital and is going in for surgery on January 5th. I should also explain that this isn't the first time she cut contact with her dad, but it is the first time it's lasted this long. The first time was when she was in 10th grade. She called from her mom's house with her mom sitting next to her and told Hubby he was a POS dad and a crappy husband. Jeez. What happened? I don't know. Maybe the picture is really right. Like was this, is she getting mixed up in the wrong crowd? Is she, you know, getting mixed up with substances or any sort of addiction or something? Or has she been in a bad relationship? Like what is happening? If all four other kids who are like almost all adults like are seemingly chill and on good terms with the parents and then all of a sudden you just have one person. Yeah. Who's really an at-chill. Yeah. Like I doubt it was something terrible that you guys did to raise her. So now I'm like partially worried about her and I'm sure they are too. Yeah. Cause it was so sudden. Yeah. She told him she wanted nothing to do with him while his ex was laughing in the background. We didn't see her for two months after that. Wow. We won't even get into the issues with his ex because that story is too dang long. I do wonder maybe the ex is like poisoning the well a little bit. Right. That's what I'm wondering. But just know she was awful up until 26 female graduated. We never got her to explain why she said those things to him during that call because she refused to tell us. Was 26 females blocking a type of punishment for her dad and the family? Oh, he says no. It wasn't a punishment for anything. The way I see it. Her father has spent over a year trying to find out what he did slash we did that upset her. And she ignored him at every turn until she needed something. She did the same thing once when she was younger and didn't start talking to him until her class had a field trip to Las Vegas and she wanted to go. But her bio mom couldn't afford it since she hasn't worked since 2009 and her hubby only works minimum wage. We offered her to go on the trip with us and offered to pay for her gas. And she refused saying she didn't want to go. We've never excluded her from anything. But if she wants to cut us off, why should I be setting her anything? It's the same reason I don't send my sister gifts. She cut herself off from the family when my mom told her she couldn't afford to pay for my sister to move into a new apartment after her and her boyfriend at the time got evicted for too many noise violations. What were they doing? Yeah, honestly, she cut all contact with all of us even though I had jack crap to do with her mom's decision. So I'm giving her what she wanted. And if 26 female wants to stop acting like a petulant child and talk like an adult, I'm more than happy to return to our happy little family dynamic. But she acts like we don't exist. I still love her and we'll still be here for her when she decides she's ready to actually communicate without expecting money for doing so. And we've got a third update. What do you think? Oh my gosh, this just keeps going. It does keep going. I mean, I think that's so fair because I mean, first of all, you don't own them anything anyways, I sure your parents and you, you know, probably own love. Probably. Probably own them love. Like at the very least. Yeah, a little bit love. But when they're into adulthood like this, you don't, it's not every family that gives money gifts to their kids, you know? Or it's certainly not this much. Yeah, yeah, definitely. And so even if it was the kind of norm for you to be like giving generous gifts like this or just money at all to your kids, then it would be unfair to say like, oh, well you just have to give me that no matter what, even if I'm like treating you like crap and like not talking to you. Well, yeah, you gotta, I guess you didn't have to earn it before, but you're definitely not earning it now. You know what I mean? I wish she would just talk to you. Yeah. Update three, our 28 male son saw the original post early this morning and he finally decided he was done letting his sister be evasive. So he sat her down and demanded answers. Oh boy. I feel absolutely awful for 28 male because he called me bawling his eyes out. Oh my God. So the picture's on Facebook excuse, not real. Wow, yeah, shocked. Yeah. It didn't feel real. Yeah. It turns out that three years ago, 26 female biomem told her that hubby isn't her dad. I knew it was the biomem. What? I knew she had said something. Oh my gosh. Apparently 26 female is the result of an affair. One of many affairs her biomem admitted to. Daughter claims she tried to play nice and act normal. Those were the words he used. So may not be her exact words, but that she decided she isn't going to keep acting like he's her dad when he's not. He said she isn't interested in talking to any of us cause there's no point when we're not even our family. Aw, that's crazy. Aw. Because that's not what that means. Yeah, one, that's not what that means. And also OP is not your biological mom. And yet, you know. Yeah. Became your mom. Right. When she married into the family. So. Yeah, you accepted her for long enough. These are, this is your family. I'm honestly not even sure how to process this, but more importantly, I'm not sure how to break it to my husband. I thought you were all in that conversation together. Me too. He's currently at work and goes in for surgery on January 5th and is already stressed out. So I don't know if I should tell him today after he gets home or wait until he's home after his surgery. 28 male is devastated and spent 20 minutes telling me how cruel and heartless she's being since my husband has been a great dad to her. And now this is going to destroy their dad, which he's right, it will. So I guess my question now is would I be the ale if I wait to tell him until after his surgery in five days? No. I don't think so. No, I feel like if it's a big surgery, which it seems like it is. Yeah. That is super fair to wait. He's come this far without knowing. Yeah. So kind of probably not the best way to look at it, but if he's made it this far without knowing. Yeah. He can go an extra week. Yeah. And I would probably talk to the 28 male and say like, hey, I'm going to talk to him after the surgery, but just don't want any complications. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's good. People get very nervous before big surgeries. Yeah. So you don't want to make anything else worse. Exactly. Comment one says, not the a-hole. Since his surgery is so soon, you can wait to tell him afterwards. No need to cause this much stress right now since the situation isn't really an emergency. She's not a minor and there's no custody battle or child support to be paid. Her behavior though seems odd, but it's kind of hard to tell what's up with her. Without her POV, is it possible she met her bio dad and maybe clicked better with him, but doesn't want to say. I can't see myself dropping my dad as an adult if I find out he's not my bio dad. Unless that information explains unfair things and trauma for my childhood, or if he was a crap dad to begin with. Honestly, it kind of does. Not everyone would react the same, but it feels like having this really awful realization that her mother is kept from her and is probably really hurt by it and it's just kind of lashing out at everyone. Yeah, I completely agree. I think now we have our explanation for things. If she continues this behavior, that's very sad, but I think we should still give her some love and let her know that she's still welcome here. Yeah, don't prove her right, I guess. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Because maybe she'll come around to it. Maybe she'll be upset and maybe, I wonder if she just kind of feels invincible in a way here where it's like, oh, well, it doesn't matter what I say. Yeah. It's not actually that hurtful because you're not my dad. Yeah, maybe texting her, hey, once you've talked to him and it goes well, hopefully. Yeah. Hey, we know and we are still your parent. Yeah. OP says, I honestly don't know anything about her anymore than what he told me. And since she refuses to communicate with us herself, I guess we just have to accept that. I can't speak for how her dad and bio mom treated her before their divorce, but from the time I met him to present, he's always been a good dad to all five kids. It unalives me that she would cut us out for something completely out of our control and claim we're not her family when we're the ones who stood by her and helped her all this time. She's going through, I truly think, not that it excuses her behavior, but I think she's just kind of like really in shock and just kind of lashing out in a bad way. Yeah. Hoppy paid child support for all three of the older kids, paid for all extracurricular activities, field trips, school clothes, supplies, paid for school lunches and paid all medical costs. He showed up for everything. Sporting events, school plays, even elementary school and high school graduations. I get that she's found out she has another part of her family now, but blood or not, I don't know how she can just write off her father, me, and our youngest two kids who both loved again, I think it's kind of like push them away before they push me away. Yeah. I do think I'll be waiting until after surgery since it's not like things will magically change in the next five days. I definitely don't want to give him one more thing to be stressed about before he has a major surgery. Thank you for your response. Does OP's husband know of his daughter as his? OP says, hubby never even suspected she wasn't his and my knowledge, no paternity test has been done. Even if she isn't biologically my hubby's child, we still love her and consider her ours, even if she doesn't feel the same. As 26 female Donna confirmed test or going by her mother's words. OP says to my knowledge, just her mother's word for now. I told our 28 male son not to ask anything more unless he's asking for himself because he doesn't need to be stressing himself out when he has a child of his own to take care of. When did what? Whoa, he's a kid. Whoa. If he wants answers, that's fine, but he doesn't need to be the middleman here. Well, if she really isn't my hubby's biodotter, I've done his X-Lide for 26 years, almost 27 if you count her pregnancy. I don't have any way of knowing if she's done a paternity test with a supposed biodad, but I know a hubby has never done one or felt the reason to. Can OP's husband sue his ex if 26 female is not his? OP says, suing ex would be pointless. She hasn't worked in more than 15 years, is being evicted from her home and her current hubby is working three minimum wage jobs just to support them. Dang, dang, dang. What a twist and turn this story was. Whoa. Wowie. Yeah, that really was. I still think the same. Yeah. I think she's pushing you away before you push her away in her mind. Yeah. Ah, yikes. Yeah, I think she's taken out her frustrations because she feels a little bit invincible with that since she thinks it still won't hurt for some reason, I don't know, or that it doesn't matter, or that she shouldn't feel guilty because of this or something. But yeah, I think just give her some space. I'm glad you're gonna wait till after the surgery to tell your husband, I think that's the smart move. It'll suck either way, but at least we'll know that he's safe. There's a little left. OP on if the bio mother has manipulated the older kids against her. OP says, biomoms spent the first seven years of hubbys and my marriage telling the kids that I was a horrible person that was going to make their dad leave them and then told them their dad was worthless and was the reason she couldn't afford to get them nice things for birthdays and Christmas. My gosh. Oh yeah, biomom is a pretty awful person. She's always used manipulation and guilt to get the kids to do what she wants. And luckily they all figured that out in their late teens and ended up moving in with us at some point. We tried to keep things civil for the kids, but she still has the nerve to try bad-mouthing my hubby to me every chance she gets. Oh, and the cause of their divorce that she told the kids was all their dad's fault. He caught her cheating on him and she was pregnant with another man's kid. So it's safe to say that she's already known for being deceitful. I have no doubt that hubby would agree to a DNA test if she was willing to do one, but it wouldn't change the fact that he'll always fewer as his daughter. Unfortunately, she isn't willing to speak with us so nothing we can do about it until she is. And that is the end of that story. I hope she changes her mind. Yeah. But yeah, there's not much you can do to force her to do that. Exactly. You just kind of have to be there. Well, good luck, OP. Look. But that is the end of that story and we've got another one coming right up. I refuse to help my family financially after they left me homeless. That's a fair reason. I, 36 female, am facing intense pressure from my family to help them financially after they found out that I'm involved in a medical malpractice lawsuit. I'm being told that I'm selfish, bitter, and holding on to the past. I don't think they understand what I actually survived or what this money represents. By the way, this comes from mediocre hair in 5032 directly from our R slash okay story time subreddit. What? One of our own. So if you want to submit your own stories, go to that R slash okay story time subreddit and we just may read them. And OP says, About 10 years ago, I experienced homelessness. At the time I had a two year old daughter. Due to circumstances, I won't fully explain here. My mother took custody of her and kicked me out. Oh wow. I was suddenly alone without my child, without support, and without a place to sleep. The emotional devastation of losing my daughter while also losing my home is something I still carry with me today. I reached out to family members and people I believed were friends begging for help. I asked for just a couch, a spare room, anything. Every single person turned me away. Wow. Some didn't answer the phone. Others told me they couldn't help. I learned very quickly that I was on my own. I ended up in a shelter for about two months. That experience was deeply traumatizing. The constant fear, the instability, the humiliation, the uncertainty of not knowing where I'd be next or if I'd even ever get my daughter back changed me permanently. I slept with one eye open. I cried myself to sleep more nights than I can count. I felt stripped of dignity and humanity. The entire time, my only motivation was my child. My daughter's father refused to help me until, unless I agreed to return to a relationship that was unhealthy and unsafe, I refused. I would rather be homeless than sacrifice myself respect or put myself back into a situation that I knew would destroy me. After about a month in the shelter, I started working and saving whatever I could. By the end of the second month, I was able to secure housing. Wow, that's really great. That's really impressive. Yeah. I got relentlessly to regain custody of my daughter, navigating lies, manipulation and legal obstacles. Eventually, I succeeded. I got her back. I moved away and cut off nearly my entire family to protect both myself and my child. As you should. Yeah. Absolutely. These people are not supporting you at all. The only person I stayed in contact with was my cousin Lulu, 35 female. She was the only one who helped me during my darkest time. She sent money when she could, tried to keep me connected to my daughter and quietly supported me while not wanting to become a target herself. I will always be grateful for her. Years later, I was in a serious car accident as a passenger. I needed surgery and received a nerve block that was botched. As a result, I suffered a collapsed lung and permanent nerve damage that caused... What? Potosis? My eye and part of my face dropped. The droop. Oh my goodness. I was told it would result. It did. For over a year, I lived in chronic pain, fear and uncertainty. I went to therapy, took nerve medications, saw specialists and tried to function while my body felt unfamiliar and broken. The emotional toll was immense. I struggled with anxiety, depression and the constant reminder that something had been taken from me without my consent. Eventually, I filed a lawsuit. When my family found out after Lulu accidentally mentioned it, they suddenly reappeared. Lulu! Lulu, oh no. People who wouldn't answer my calls when I was homeless now wanted to reconnect. They framed it as concern, but it quickly became clear that they were focused on what they believed would be a large settlement. They began suggesting that I help them pay bills, cover rent, get them back on their feet. Ha ha ha! Or do the right thing. That's so funny. No. That is insane. Literally like blocked by... Yeah, that's insane because obviously because of the whole homeless situation. Don't you understand that like the reason you get money from settlements like those is because there's all of these doctor's appointments that you have had to pay for and will have to pay for. They're medical bills. Yes, like there's, it's not just free money because, oh, it's not like an I'm sorry gift. There's reasons that you need that money. Yes. And that is so insane that they're asking to pay bills when they left you homeless. Yeah, tell them that. Shut up. I was told that I should forgive the past, be the bigger person and remember that family is family. Oh, that's so funny because like when I was homeless, it wasn't family? It wasn't. Here's the part that no one seems to understand. This money is not a lottery win. It is compensation for trauma, pain, for permanent damage and for years of suffering, both physical and emotional. My pain and suffering will not pay anyone's rent. My collapsed lung does not fund anyone's lifestyle. My homelessness, my fear, my tears, and my survival are not a communal resource. I have a long-term plan. I want to invest 2 million. This is a large settlement. Holy crap. Live off of the returns, purchase a few vacation properties as short-term rentals, and buy my daughter a ranch with horses. Okay, so when you said large settlement, I thought like 200,000. Yeah. You said large settlement. Not saying that you should give them any money, but I do see why they came back. I do understand. That is quite a lot of money. It is a lot of money. This is something that she has always dreamed of. I want stability, peace, and security. I want a life where I never have to fear homelessness again and where my daughter never experiences the instability that I did. My plan is structured so that the rental properties pay for themselves, including taxes and insurance. Between investments and rental income, I expect to generate over $100,000 annually. I plan to live modestly on about $60,000. Look at you go, dude. Any surplus will be reinvested to protect our future. There is no room in this plan for handouts. The only people I intend to help financially are my cousin Lulu and her daughter. Good. She was there for me when I had nothing. If the rest of my family had shown up when I was sleeping in a shelter and fighting to get my child back, I would gladly help them now. I do still love them, but love does not mean self-sacrifice to the point of self-destruction. Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here. And we're going to get back to the stories, but here's a three minute ad break from our sponsors. No gloss, no filter. Just stories, spoken without fear. Addiction is a disease, and it should be looked upon as any other disease. 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Bigger place booked. On booking.com, finding a holiday home is easy. And fix. Booking.com, booking.com, yeah. Terms apply, available on selected properties. Crisp, vibrant, and bursting with citrus. Villamarilla's New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc is the perfect wine, made to be enjoyed on every occasion. Whether you're soaking up the sun in your garden, hosting a backyard barbecue, or unwinding after a long day, the zesty lime and lush tropical fruits are always delicious. Tri-Villamarilla Sauvignon Blanc, a vibrant New Zealand wine that's perfect for every occasion. Available at all good wine retailers. There is more to this story, but... Yeah, dude. Congratulations. Congratulations. I don't know if that settlement has gone through, but it seems like you are confident that it will. I mean, those are big plans, man. Big numbers, too. Big numbers. Dang. A lot of different things that you could do with that money. Yes. But, yeah, it still stands, though. That doesn't mean that you owe anyone money. Nope. And that you are selfish for keeping that money. Mm-mm. Because, I mean, you deserve it. Have gone through a lot in your life, and even though, you know, this money isn't, like, from a business or something like that, but it's still, it's like you... From your suffering. Yeah, you went through all the suffering, and you did take the actions to settle the lawsuit until, like, go through with that and everything. So, a piece of cake, that's hard. And then, of course, I could totally understand the trauma of being homeless and having to be in a shelter and get your daughter back and stuff. Totally understand, like, wanting a giant sum to just have safe. Mm-hmm. Like, I think that's... To not have to worry about money or, you know, instability and stuff. And it's not like you're going to be, like, spending it freely, either. No. Like, you said, living modestly on $60,000? That's modest. That is modest. I think no matter where you live in America, I feel like that's pretty modest. Pretty modest. Yeah. So, I think you're totally fine. And I think that's more to this story. Some family members argue that they didn't know how bad things were back then. I find it hard to believe that they didn't know I was in need. Yet, somehow, they know now that there's money involved. Yeah, they're like, well, we didn't ask you those questions before, but we heard that you have money now, so... Right. If you didn't know how bad it was, that's because you weren't close to me. Yeah. And we didn't have a relationship. And we don't have one now. So... And also, Opie told us that she went to, like, everyone she knew. Yeah. And everyone helped her, so... No one took from their table to help me build mine. I survived homelessness. I survived medical trauma. I survived abandonment. And I refused to apologize for protecting the future that I fought tooth and nail to secure. So, am I the a-hole for refusing to financially support family members who weren't there for me when I had nothing? And there are some comments, but obviously, our answer is no. No. You're good, dude. You're fine. Keep that money. Keep that money. A mean, good partner that you want to spend your time with. You guys can both enjoy the money and go from there. And we do have some comments here. Comment one says, They can have their money only if they give up all possessions, live in the streets, get hit by a bus, wake up while being operated on, sue for malpractice, and win. See? It has nothing to do with you or your money. They will take all you have and they start with your children. Do not do business with thieves and child kidnappers. I don't know if they're child kidnappers. I think that was... Well, they took her daughter. I think that was... It didn't go into it too much. I thought it was because she couldn't care for her or something. I don't know. They didn't really specify. So, I mean, maybe child kidnappers, I don't know. But hopefully not. Comment number two says, Not the a-hole. I might be a little biased in that I practice this kind of law, plaintive side because F insurance companies. But even so, I have a hard time imagining anyone would ever think you're in the wrong here. Setting aside the fact that they treated you like dirt when you were at rock bottom, that money isn't just compensation for your pain and suffering. It's for economic damages. For example, lost wages, lost opportunities, etc. And future medical treatment. I'm unclear on whether you succeeded in a claim for third-party auto negligence. Medical morale practice are both. If it is med mal, then... I like that. Med mal. Your treating physician must have really effed up and caused you significant injury. Considering how hard it is to succeed on a med mal claim, your settlement or trial award is a massive amount. Given how limited most auto policy limits are, that level of compensation suggests significant and life-altering injuries. You owe nothing to anyone except yourself and your child. Comet 3 says, This payment is also for your future medical care. Lost wages and permanent disability. Exactly. Your cousin shouldn't have been told what it was. G violated a huge trust by telling anyone. I wouldn't trust her with sensitive information again. Well, I don't know if I'd go that far. We seem to like Lulu. Yeah, we seem to like Lulu, so I think it's okay. Maybe it was just a slip up. Yeah. You need to tell anyone that you only get a small monthly stipend and can't help them. You also need to set up a trust for your daughter. So if something happens to you, your unscrupulous family won't steal your legacy from her. OP says, She is my only heir. I am placing the assets into a trust that I will establish as the grantor. I'm also forming an LLC to serve as a co-trustee with me. My daughter and I will be the beneficiaries. With me receiving income during my lifetime and her designated as the remainder best beneficiary. And that's the end of that story. Dang, you've got it figured out. Yeah, man. Okay. That's a lot more things than I would understand. I would not be able to do everything that you do. I don't understand. I don't know what that means. Yeah, but you do. And that's all that matters. Exactly. And preferably it's you. Yeah, but really it's the one that has the money. So great. Yeah. Well, that's insane. Props to you, dude. Yeah, what a huge shift in your life. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, wow, wow. Absolutely. Because it's also the kind of thing where it's like, congrats on the money. Sorry for your injuries. Because that's still obviously. That's still a huge part of your life. Yeah, because I know that there are some cases where it's like, yeah, I mean, you get a lot of money, but it's like I'd kind of rather not be, yeah. Something like that, you know. But good for you. I hope that these people stop bothering you and you live a peaceful life like you want. Me too. But that is the end of that story. We have another, we have another one coming right up. My mother in law accidentally exposed our private secret. My mother completely lost it. All my privates, my wife, 30 female and I 30 male have been together for almost 12 years and married for almost eight. My wife has always wanted kids, but only within the last few years, three years have I felt I would be ready for parenthood. Our parents would always ask about kids and we would always give a vague response like, we're ready now. So hopefully it'll be soon. By the way, this comes from Sean Beelow's and if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash okay, storytime separate it. And we're here to give good advice, Gively, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we do. So let us know what you would do in the comments and no pieces. The problem for us has been that my wife has a condition called vaginescence. For those who don't know what that is, it causes the vaginal muscles to be very tight and it makes spicy sleep painful or even impossible. We struggled for years not even knowing this condition existed. And last year, my wife finally started physical therapy. After starting physical therapy, my wife told her mom about our situation because she felt like she needed someone to talk to other than me, which, sorry, her mom, which I was completely okay with. The only other people who know about our situation are a couple of our close friends and a couple of my close friends. Over the last few years, when we've said we're ready for a kid, my mom would always make the most comments about kids, including talking about making sure we were prepared in regards to nutrition, prenatal vitamins, etc. And got us a couple books in the same vein as What to Expect When You're Expecting. My wife at one point had suggested that we tell my mom about our situation because she felt that my mom was becoming worried, thinking that we had been trying to get pregnant for a couple of years. I'm not nearly as close to my mom as my wife is with hers, so it felt weird to me to share such an intimate detail with her. Problem! Well, we recently announced to our parents over Zoom, due to the vid, that we were pregnant, and of course, everyone was thrilled. My mother-in-law accidentally slipped up and said something about being proud of us for overcoming our obstacle. She knew my mom didn't know, but I don't blame her for the slip-up. It's easy to say something without thinking when you're excited. Naturally, my mom wanted to know what she was referring to, and so we had to tell her. She blew up at us, saying that she had been so worried for us, and how could we not tell her? On one hand, I get where she's coming from, that she was concerned for us, but at no point did we explicitly tell anyone that we were actively trying to get pregnant. And in my opinion, it's an incredibly intimate detail, and no one is entitled to that information. Yeah, I mean, how can you be concerned when you don't know what to be concerned for? They might have just not wanted to have children before then. Yeah. And also, this is more so, yes, it is like a both of them thing, but it is his wife's body, you know? And she did say, like, oh, do you want to tell your mom and stuff? But they agreed not to, so it's not really any of your business. Yeah, totally. I imagine part of her reaction was also due to us telling my mother-in-law, but not her. Again, that is Opie's wife's mom, who she's comfortable with. I haven't been able to talk to her since this happened, though. Like, Opie's wife's mom saw her naked, changed her diapers, raised her daughter. Oh, is Opie not the woman? No, Opie's the guy. Oh, okay. So the woman, his wife, has vaginismus and told her mom about her own body. Okay, that's why I was confused. I was like, I mean, it makes sense that it's like, oh, you told his mom, but not your mom? Yeah. You know what I mean? But either way, okay, that makes more sense, though. My friends and her friends are a bit split on the subject, and I wanted to get some outside perspective, so Reddit, am I the a-hole, and we've got an update, but what do you think? I think no, you don't need to know about my wife's VJJ? No, that's her VJJ. Yeah. And that's our beeswax. That's literally, that's a very intimate detail. Oh my goodness. Specifically because it's like, yes, it is not just during, like it is a condition that exists outside of spicy sleep, but it also, when you're talking about it, and Tails talking about the spicy sleep, you know, it's like I have pain during spicy sleep. Right. You know, I don't know if I want my partner talking to his mom, who like, if I didn't have a super close relationship with her. I completely agree. I feel like positive updates are kind of rare here, so I'm happy to say that I have a positive update. Okay. Okay. My wife and I decided we would give my mom a couple days to cool down before we reached out to her again. But she actually reached out to us first asking to talk. Okay. She started off immediately apologizing for how she reacted on the last call. Good start. Okay. She said that she thought we had been trying to have a kid for years and had been really concerned, especially since we didn't seem to be concerned at all. She had me in her mid 30s and regretted having kids so late. So she was worried we were going to wait too long and discover some infertility issues. She also said that since I was her only child, my wife was like the daughter she never had. My wife had even let her help plan the wedding. So when she heard that she had been left out, it made her realize that she wasn't as close to my wife as she thought. Aw. And the combination of emotions cued her over the top reaction. Aw. Aw. After having time to think about it and talk about it with my dad, she realized how much she messed up. She really was truly sorry for how she acted and ruining what had been such a special moment. This wasn't one of those, I'm sorry you were offended type apologies. She didn't try to pass off her reasons as excuses, but just for us to understand the emotions that were at play for her. There's a little bit left to the story, but lovely ending. That's great. We love that. We love it when people take accountability for their actions. It doesn't happen a lot. No, it doesn't. It feels good every time it does. Yeah, exactly. There's a little bit left though. Overall we had a really good conversation and we apologized as well for leading her on and not directly telling her that we weren't actively trying to have a kid for years because we were embarrassed about our situation. There were many tears shed, both happy and sad. But I'm happy to say that everything is now back to normal. I always think to myself how many situations on the sub wouldn't even be issues if people just communicated better. And I guess I can now and add myself to that list. Ah ha. Good for you OP. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you too. Love to see it. Good job. But we got some comments to finish this episode off. Hey, it's Angie, your favorite fashion host here. We're going to get back to the stories but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. No gloss, no filter, just stories, spoken without fear. Addiction is a disease and it should be looked upon as any other disease. How did you cope with a reckless father like me? Join me, Pooja Bhatt, as I sit down every week with directors, actors, musicians, technicians, and beyond. You don't need to work with the biggest people and the biggest sound to have great music. I have gone through the sub-series, Achakkar. Reached the pinnacle, stung by the sneaker, I've fallen down again. I am not writing actively anymore and when I see my old work it kind of saddens me. I'm only as good as the last shot that I gave. Mom's gone but don't shut the theater. The show must go on. Listen to my weekly podcast, the Pooja Bhatt show and the iHeart Radio app. Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty, stay for the fire. Oh yeah, from the video, my girlfriend sabotaged my little sister so I kicked her out. Oh boy. And this was posted January 13th, 2026. TLDR from Story 1, OP's 11-year-old sister moved in with him after their mom's house became unsafe. This girlfriend kept complaining that his sister wasn't doing her chores. But OP caught his girlfriend on camera literally undoing the chores his sister already finished. Just to make her look bad. Oh my god. His girlfriend was trying to get rid of his sister by lying about her. OP kicked the girlfriend out and later found out she was treating his sister even worse than he knew. Like not letting her eat when she was hungry. Oh my god. If you're curious to know the full story you can go watch the full video. That's like crime. I know, I remember the story. It was crazy. Tiff La F6 says, Professor Chaos Kitty says, OP with the girlfriend sabotaging his sister from what I could make out they started dating when OP was a bit of a party animal so she probably wanted to go back to that lifestyle. Yeah, I mean it's a huge switch up but if she wasn't able to handle that then she needs to go. Yeah. His sister's not going anywhere. Yeah. Tiff La F6 says, Of course girlfriend is unemployed. That's how she has all this time to undo and redo little sister chores. Cocoa, no milk, but coconut milk says, If you live with your girlfriend you can't force her to have a child that is not hers to live with you. If she says no you need to put your relationship first. She didn't ask to be a mom. Don't make her the bad guy because it sounds like the boyfriend didn't care about what his girlfriend wanted. How has he proven himself a future husband if he's not going to take her feelings into consideration? I don't know if they, I don't remember if they lived together but I kind of disagree with that comment. Yeah. His girlfriend can go find a new place and they can move out and they can break up. His sister's got no one else. Yeah, that is true. She doesn't have to stay in the relationship but she can't force him to give up on a sister. Yeah, exactly. But those are the ends of those comments and the end of this episode. All right. So if you love us make sure to subscribe. We love you and see you tomorrow. No gloss, no filter, just stories, spoken without fear. A person who is not generous cannot be an artist. The world will be at peace only when it is ruled by poets and philosophers. Listen to my weekly podcast, the puja bhajjo on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Come for the honesty, stay for the fire. Nothing beats flying with Jet2.com. Right now we've got some great offers available. So book now and choose from our best flight times and you can fly from Gatwick Airport to some amazing destinations and get 10 kilograms of hand luggage included. Jet2.com, friendly low fares, subject availability and conditions. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.