Hello and welcome to this episode of The Inner Estate with your host, Bridget Stewart. My guest today is Yolanda Sanchez, who goes by Yoli. So Yoli, thank you so much for joining us today. Yeah, I'm happy to be here. When I think about what I've learned about you and you're a successful businesswoman, you're a successful business owner, a realtor, you're of service, helping veterans and people in your community. I would always find that remarkable, but I found it truly remarkable because you're doing all of this in light of having both ADHD as well as some, I don't want to put words into the story, but some challenges in your younger life. It's always hard, you know, in these conversations. What do we discuss first? And could you share with everyone, because you do have, you are diagnosed with ADHD, and I believe you have been for about 10 years. Yeah. But you've shared with me. In hindsight, it was happening much longer, right? So you were managing prior to the tools and resources you have now. Can you take us back to what was it like when you were growing up? And what challenges did you face as you were becoming a young adult? And how you started navigating building a career and a life for yourself and first with your daughter and then with your son. Tell us a little bit more about that. So my childhood, I was raised by my father who was a Marine. He had three Purple Hearts. He was in Vietnam from 67 to 76 he served and he barely made it home alive and he struggled with PTSD. He struggled with survivor's guilt and my mom was a stay-at-home mom and she was a amazing cook but I found myself just couldn't keep still I was always outside playing my dad built a swing set and I was swinging on the top of the pole climbing it I just I was an active kid um and that was kind of like I guess how I regulated myself. I'd go to the community pool and swim in the summer. I'd go roller skating every weekend from morning to night. I was just a very active kid. And I remember my dad, he had brought home a box of beef jerky from his compadre. And I remember looking at that and thinking, I'm going to sell those at school. So I took a Ziploc bag and I sold a stick of beef jerky for a dollar each. And I came home with my pockets full. And then I told my mom, I want to buy a cash register because I want to put my dollars in there. And she goes, you know how much those are? I go, I don't know. And then a week later, a neighbor was having a yard sale and I bought this cash register. And so I had a, she goes, only Yoli, whatever she puts her mind to, she somehow gets what she wants. And that's just kind of how, you know, I was. I remember selling the most chocolates in school when we had our chocolate fundraisers. I wanted this digital and I got it. I don't know. It just, it was always innate in me. That was like my childhood. Yoli, sounds like you were a salesperson straight out of the gate. You set that goal, you wanted that guitar and you were selling the chocolate and that was it, correct? Yeah. So it sounds like you were highly active and you really knew that you enjoyed sales, which typically means you probably like people to a degree. Yeah. Usually. That's tied in with that. So tell us a little bit more about some of the challenges that you faced. Yeah. My parents were alcoholics. I see how that's how they coped with their, I call it the battlefield of life. My mom had a rough abuse of childhood and adulthood and my father being in war, losing his best friend. The first two months they were in Vietnam, they went to high school together. They played football together. At 18, they decided to join the Marine Corps together and his best friend died the first two months they were there. That's awful. So, yeah, my dad and my mom were alcoholics. That's kind of how they coped with the pain they endured in life. And me growing up through that, I just kind of always wanted to be outside playing. That's kind of how I coped living through that. Loved my parents. They did the best they could. One thing that was difficult was just they struggled financially. And then we moved a lot. I had to continuously go to different schools, try to fit in. That was a challenge. So was it sometimes alcoholism can be generational? Is that something that they possibly saw older generations in the family had also coped with challenges they were facing relying on alcohol? Yeah. So my mom's family ran throughout her family. She had two brothers that died before the age of 28. Wow. Sclerosis of the liver. Yeah. Wow. Wow. It's an ongoing, you know, generational problem. And, you know, I became aware of it at a young age. And I remember telling myself, like, I don't ever want to lose control. I don't ever want to have like a substance control me. I just saw how it affected them and living through that. I ended up marrying an alcoholic, not realizing it. I think I kind of realized it. And then I remember after years of it, a couple of DUIs that he had gotten. And one day I just said, you know what, as a kid, I had to live with this. But as an adult, I feel like I don't have to. So it kind of just pushed me more into, you know, my drive into basically getting a business to sustain and provide for my kids and I. And so, yeah, I was able to get a divorce after 20 years with the same man. Just decided, you know what, I can't live like that anymore. And then just myself was like, you know what, this alcohol, it really ruins lives, you know. And I just stand firm on, you know, trying to stay in control of my life and provide a steady, consistent home for my kids. something I didn have a steady home And just clear you know important and just trying to Did you yourself ever struggle with that Or were you so like was it imprinted on your mind that that was not going to be for you So you did not have an issue with alcoholism yourself? I would test myself. When I was married, he was a DJ and we'd go and he'd DJ. And I remember testing myself and saying, you know what, tonight I'm not going to drink. and I'm going to see if I can have a good time. And I would. I was like, okay, I don't have that addiction. Right. So I would continuously test myself, and then I'm like, okay, I'm in control. So you successfully stopped a multigenerational cycle. Yeah. You were the one. So many people have that desire. I'm sure there's probably someone listening to this right now, listening to us talk, and they want to be the one. They want to be the one in the family that is going to break that chain. And it sounds like you did that. How important is that? How important is that for you? How proud are you of that? I'm pretty proud. I'm pretty proud. I'm hoping that my children don't become alcoholics. I'm really, you know, trying to prepare them to not make those choices. I feel like when you're 21, it's the thing to do to go to a bar and have your first drink. It's kind of just influenced. So I've been preparing them for, you know, what's to come and trying to let them be aware. They are aware because of their father. Their father actually went to rehab and is now sober. And they're grateful for that. That's a gift. That's a blessing for your children. It is. And for your ex. Yeah. Yeah. So I feel like they are aware that it is a problem. They were affected by it, and I feel like they have a good chance to not fall into it as well. So that's kind of, as a mom, I just really hope that they don't pick up drinking, you know. So that's kind of my concern now. Right. I hope so, too. So you successfully navigated that, and I think it's so critical. I hope everyone heard that. You said you love both of your parents and you knew that they were doing the best they could do with the tools they had and with their knowledge. So it's not that you withheld your love for them. It also sounds like you were able to acknowledge what they did provide for you. And they had to have provided something because you now own multiple businesses, both with your fleet services and your government contracts and your being in real estate for 18 years, primarily working in sales and with veterans, but also with some building a portfolio of property management. They, I think they gave you something somewhere along the way. Yeah, they absolutely did. Yeah, my mom had a caring heart and my dad was also just caring, loving, social. Just a joy to be around. Yeah. That's really good. My dad taught me, you know, to be of service. Service is very important. Yeah. So what's one of the main ways that shows up in your world? So you mentioned that you like to work with a lot of veterans with your real estate business. So tell us a little bit more about what you do with veterans. Yeah. So I just, all of my marketing is just kind of just letting them know that I'm a proud daughter of a Vietnam vet and I love to help other vets. It's kind of my approach. And I do get vets coming to me and asking me, hey, this is my situation. You know, how can I get to be able to purchase a home? and I'll just, between myself and a lender, we'll just guide them along the way just to help them get to that point where there's zero debt and they have a little bit of a savings and just kind of hold their hand and try to prepare them for that. I just try to, like, let them know that maybe they're not ready now, but they'll be ready in a, you know, year or two and we'll get them there. Sometimes I'll help people rent a home and let them know, you know, save until, you know, a year or two, and then we'll revisit purchasing a home. So I just kind of just try to counsel them and guide them any way I can. They have the best loan out there, zero down VA loans. Yeah, they do. So I educate them on that. So you make sure that they're taking advantage of what is available for them as a veteran of the country, that they have options. and that they can have support. Well, I think that it probably was beneficial for you and the experience that you had with your father that it probably helps you in providing great service for veterans. Yeah, for sure. So I think that that's exciting. Now, in the midst of all of this, around 10 years ago, you were expecting your son, who is, I believe, well, actually, how old is he now? He's 12, okay. And that is around the time. And I guess while you were expecting your son, your daughter must have been around eight, seven or eight. Yes. Okay. And that is when you discovered that you and your daughter both have ADHD. Yes. So we know that there are so many people out there that are wondering if they do or they know they do, but they haven't been diagnosed or they've been diagnosed and they still have challenges. So share with us in these last 10, 11 years where you have been diagnosed and your daughter was diagnosed at eight, seven or eight. What happened in your life? How has that, you know, what has that brought about for you, receiving that diagnosis and moving forward as a mom and a businesswoman? Yeah, so my son was in preschool and they immediately said, hey, we really think your son has ADHD. We're going to need you to get him tested. And I was kind of like, huh, what does that mean? You know, what is that? And they just said, hey, go to a psychiatrist. They'll test him. And so I kind of fought against it for about eight months. And then I was like, okay, I'll go get him tested. And then I did get him tested and he was diagnosed. And while he was getting diagnosed I was connecting all the questions with me Like I also that way You know I also my mind goes 100 miles per minute hard to keep focused And so my daughter was diagnosed next because she was like can you, can I get tested? And then I was diagnosed. I was 35 years old. And it was just an eye opener. And then I realized my dad had it too, you know, the way he was. And then, like, I feel like it's a superpower when we are passionate about something. We're like laser focus and we're like the best at it. And when we don't really like something, we're just like, just not interested. That's kind of how I was my whole childhood. So yeah. And I fought against the school. They were really pressuring me to get him on meds. I waited about four years until I put him on meds and I would sit with him in class for a good two years just to help him not get distracted just before the meds because I just really believed that if I sat next to him, I could just kind of get him to refocus on, you know, focus on the teacher, you know, don't get distracted. And then finally, when he got on the meds, the teacher goes, you don't need to be here anymore. We got this. He's engaged. He's focused. He's retaining everything. So then I was like, okay. And then I got on meds and I remember listening to a song I heard a thousand times. I was like, I didn't know the song was about that. And then reading books, I was like, I didn't have to read the book, the page two, three times. I got it the first time. And it was an eye-opening, eye-opener. Just, it was a gift to know that there was a medication to help me. Somebody said it's like putting reading glasses on for the first time. And yeah, I just, it really did help me to stay focused, you know, because I am a multitasker. I want to do 10 things at once. Yeah, I do like having ADHD because I'm so creative and because I like having a variety of things that I do. I think if I didn't have ADHD, I'd be, you know, just probably, I just, I like having ADHD. I just don't look at it like stability. It's really helped me in business. Right. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Many entrepreneurs and salespeople and business owners and business starters may have a similar situation. So would you say that you and both children have benefited since you've been diagnosed and since you have found something that works for each of you. Yeah. Do you think that that's one of the reasons why you were able to successfully launch your fleet services company is because you had more of a handle on working with your ADHD? I just think like my innate drive is it's probably because I have ADHD. My determination to have a steady stream of income was my motivation. Yeah, the ADHD probably did help me. Everybody's like, how did you get into that business? You know, never heard of that. And I met somebody who was doing it. And I was all about like owning your own business, being your own boss. Right. And so that was what appealed to me. And of course, low competition. And yeah, it's once you get a contract and it's, you know, it's locked in for eight years, you know, that was a sense of security for me. yeah when those eight years are up I do have to rebid and I may or may not get the contract again but at least those eight years felt like you know hey you know I got something to get me going but yeah I just didn't like the inconsistency of the real estate income having two kids and having to pay a mortgage and this business totally up my alley or being able to manage and yeah yeah. So Yoli, what advice would you give to someone who may be dissatisfied with their consistency or their level of income? Or they may be in an education program and they already know they don't like it. Like, how do you make those tough decisions? What would you recommend if someone's listening and they're feeling dissatisfied in either of those areas? What's something, a step they could take right now? I call it mind mapping. You get a piece of paper and pencil, you write in the center your name, and then you draw out other little circles and you put all the things that interest you. Put your mind in fantasy world, you know. If I could do anything, these are the things that interest me. You could put down what hobbies you're interested in. Just use your imagination, make it playful, and then try to narrow down from there. OK, now out of all of these things that interest me, which ones can I actually make something, make some income off of? OK, I can make some income off of this and this and this and then narrow it down to taking action steps, researching, use chat GPT. How could I, you know, what steps do I need to take to get this going, to get this ball rolling? It's I think it all starts with our passions to tap into. Yes. And then that'll lead you to something that you'll enjoy. And sometimes you might have to struggle for a little bit until that ball gets rolling. Sometimes you might need to keep your full-time job and save some money before you can make an investment in yourself to pivot. So I always say mind map. You can look it up. It just pulls out things that are in you that you could tap into. That might be hiding in the shadows right now. Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes when you start doing those, like, for example, I was tapping into my creative side. I took some classes at the Growlings and Alpha Melrose and that it was improv classes. And then it helped me in my business. It helped me with this interview here with you. So sometimes you'll tap into a hobby and then it helps you in other areas that you didn't even know about. My waitressing helped me in my doorknob of my real estate, which I didn't know it would. And communication skills. How it all comes together. It all comes together. My law school helps me when I talk to my clients and I let them know about the contract and the verbiage and how it to protect them how it to protect you know the other side of the transaction Right Somebody sued somebody and that why it in this contract That's right. It all ties in. Especially in California. Yes. Yeah. Yes, it does. And you said two interesting things. So one was, you said it real quickly, but I caught it, that you knew someone else who had secured government contracts working with the bus. So seek out someone who's doing it. That's what I was hearing that. And you spoke to them and then give yourself that confidence. If they did it, so could I. Yes. Yes. Same thing with my real estate. I went to an open house that that condo was living at and met the realtor. They didn't speak English perfectly. That was their second language. I was like, if they could do it, I could do it. And then... I can do it too. So seek out someone who is doing it. We don't have to live in a silo. Believe in yourself, you know. Yes. That's a part. Believe in yourself. So one other thing that I want to ask you. So when you decided that you were going to quit law school, did you have people push back on you? Did you have people that, you know, even if it was coming from a place of love, like, Yoli, you've already spent this much money and this much time and you're this far alone. You should finish it. Did you have people that pushed back on your decision for yourself that you were going to quit law school? It was mostly my fellow friends that I met in law school that stuck through it and finished it. And they were reaching out to me and said, you could do it. We did it. One gal was older than me and she was a dentist for years and decided to go to law school. And she passed the bar and called me and said, just want to let you know, you know, if I did it, you could do it. And then another gentleman, Bill, he and I were buddies. We're the only two that engaged in class and would ask questions and we would debate with each other. And he passed and he reached out to me and he says, when are you going to come go back to law school? And I was just like, it's not for me. It's not for me. It's not for you. I'm glad that I spent two years and I did learn and I did take a lot from it and I'm happy with that. But yeah, I told him, you know, I got my government contracts and I'm making more than you. I'm like, I'm making more than you and I don't have to go to the store all day. Yeah. He's like, I'm doing trials. It's brutal out there. Yeah. Yeah. Here's what stands out to me is that what you said straight out of the gate, find what you're passionate about and then figure out how to incorporate that into how you fund your life. Right. And so if you think about it. People were involved in both of those instances. In terms of getting the government contracts, you found somebody who was doing it. They told you they could do it and they were successful and so could you. And then you have these fellow law school students and they're telling you the same thing. The beautiful gift you've given yourself is you had the clarity of what you were passionate about. And once you knew that you weren't passionate about law, then it was easy to tell them, yes, and I wish you well. I wish you all the success. I'll send everyone who needs your specialty to you. And it wasn't for me. And yet you lean in on the other people to get that confidence. And now you have built your life the way that you want it to be. Yeah. Tapping into those passions. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is funny how often others can guide us. If we don't have clarity around our passions, they can guide us right into something that we don't want. Yeah. I feel like some parents guide their children to do what they think is right, and then their children follow, and then they're not happy. So I don't wish that on anyone. And, you know, try to find what excites you, you know, because you're going to be doing that for a long time. And, you know, where you spend most of your time, you know, it becomes a part of you, becomes a part of your identity. And you come home with your family and you want to be, you know, a good person to be around. So, it's very important. Hopefully, hopefully everyone listening to this show today wants to be a good person. and someone that when they do come home, anyone who may be their human or animal is happy that they have returned. Yeah, we want people to... It does. It impacts your enjoyment of every day and it impacts how you show up with others. Yeah, yeah. You don't want to be miserable. Life's too short. That is absolutely true. Well, I appreciate everything that you've shared both with me and with any of our guests that are listening. And if you, you know, you mentioned that you have always had multiple passions and a lot of creativity. What's next for Yoli? So when you look out in the next few years, any new passion or any old passion you're reclaiming or what is new and what are you excited about? Well, I'm going to be taking some classes to be a personal trainer. I've had a personal trainer for like 13 years. I play softball for 20 years. I want to just have that under my belt and help people with that. I think health and moving your body is important. And I've been doing it for years and want to help others with that. And then I'm also taking some courses at the Fullerton College starting February for interior design to get a certificate. Yeah. To incorporate that more. I think that's great. Yeah. So it sounds like you've got a lot of exciting plans and new challenges that you're going to take on. I know in a couple of years you're going to have to get that contract renewed with your fleet services company. Well, thank you so much for sharing all of this. I want to also take a moment and thank your family and your father for their service to our country. And I wish you all the best with especially everything that you're doing that provides for you and your family. So it's really, it's beautiful. And I'm really glad that you have uncovered your passions. If you are listening to this show, I wish the same for you. Discover those passions, get into action, make it happen, and believe in yourself. Join us again for the next episode of The Inner Estate. Thank you and have a great day.
