Punch for President

So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay triots, they triots, black triots, brown triots, every single triple trumper. I don't care if now you don't like him anymore. You can do what, Pumps? Fuck off! Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with, I'm going to classify as predatory shopping. And what I mean by that is I have noticed a real uptick when I shop online and I really look at something. I look at like what the material is and all the things, but I don't buy it. Then like 12 hours later, I get a text with a picture of what I was looking at that says, this would look great on you. Or do you, are you still thinking about texting your phone, texting my phone? And I don't put my phone number and stuff in. But when you have an account, they have all that information for shipping. This has happened to me with three different vendors in the last, I'd say, 30 days. And so for me, as somebody who has a history of buying shit that sucks off Instagram, if they were to catch me in a weak moment, even after I've decided this is too expensive or I don't need this, I could be lured in by these texts. So I think it's predatory. Of course it's predatory. I'm a weak person. So when you keep sending me something, I really, really put a lot of thought into buying. And I don't know how to unsubscribe from it. This is the thing. Like, remember when I was upset at Zillow? Because I was like looking at the inside of people's houses, like a psycho, right? And then Zillow's emailing me all the time. Like, hey, that house is da-da-da-da. And I'm like, what the fuck? This was private. Right. And that's the thing about your shopping. Like that's private. Like you don't want them contacting you about it. What if you're shopping for a vibrator? You don't want to text, follow up. You're in a meeting with people and it opens up, Angie, your vibrator is still available. Like some of that stuff just needs to be private. Like they can't follow up. That's not, shouldn't be their idea to follow up. That should be your idea to follow up. I agree. And it keeps happening. I just think it's weird that I've just noticed this uptick in it happening. Well, because here's the thing. All of the surveillance online stuff is just going to get worse and worse and worse. Like our privacy, our online privacy is completely eroding. And these tech oligarchs have all of it. All of it. And we're too busy playing patty cake, the Democratic leadership with kanks to do anything about it. You're right. That's terrible. All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with these MAGA monkeys in Japan that are bullying Punch. I did not think that Japan had a MAGA problem, specifically with primates. But I've been watching a lot of footage online, a lot. And it's very evident to me that this one particular monkey is a full-blown Japanese MAGA monkey. Because Punch is just a baby. You know, he has his mama that's an Ikea stuffed animal. That's all he has because his real mother, probably MAGA, abandoned him. And then this big MAGA monkey is like, he's punch goes over to like, hey, I'm a monkey too. And the monkey just like bullies him and throws him all around. And then he has to go get his fake mama because his MAGA deadbeat mama abandoned him. And only a MAGA monkey would bully a baby. Absolutely. And so then he's running around hiding from all these MAGA monkeys. And I just, I can't stop watching this monkey, but I'm seeing some great things happening. I'm seeing some true Patriot monkeys rise up and take care of him. I saw somebody helping him recently, but I can't quit with this punch stuff. I watched my whole feed. It used to be exactly what I wanted. My For You page was exactly what I wanted. I'd built it brick by brick. It was tennis shots of my favorite tennis players, French bulldog content, interior design content, and travel. No political stuff in my For You page. None. Not on Instagram. The entire For You page now is Punch the Monkey. So the more I get it, the more into it I am. I know the personalities at the zoo. I know which accounts to follow for an update. I know people that have gone to the zoo, waited in line to get a ticket to go see the zoo. I've thought about going to the zoo in Japan if I didn't have to stay here and fight for democracy. But I'm just this MAGA monkey problem in Japan is just something I've had it from top to bottom with. And I call on the Japanese government to these monkeys need to be identified with the red MAGA hats. If they're going to bully Punch, put the MAGA hat on them because only a MAGA would bully little kids because that's what they do here in this country. MAGA bullies immigrant children and they enjoy it and they like the recreational cruelty of it and the dehumanization of it. The through line I'm seeing here is with these primates at this zoo in Japan. These MAGA monkeys are bullying little Punch. Motherless Punch. Poor motherless Punch. I have to tell you, I've seen a little bit of it, but I haven't been down the rabbit hole. And I need to get more into it because I would love that shit. But every time I see a story about it, and I haven't gone down deep, but I think everything MAGA touches turns to shit. Like everything that rah-rah MAGA. So you thought they were MAGA monkeys too? Well, yeah, immediately. But that could also be my for you page. You know, I have a lot of curated stuff about hating Trump on my For You page. So somebody that thought that that was a good idea, I'd be all in. Thought that what was a good idea? Like comparing these primates to MAGA people. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, so I'm probably not the most, what do you say, uncompromised person. I just think they're little MAGA monkeys and I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. But I'll tell you who probably does like all the bullying, that is MAGA. They probably enjoy that. Watching Punch get bullied because they like seeing Hispanic kids get bullied in the United States of America. They don't care about it. They like poor. Trump doesn't even have an animal, which I'm grateful that he doesn't have an animal. Right, because look how I have a lot of gratitude that he doesn't have an animal. But he doesn't even like animals, you know. can you imagine the pet if you look at his kids and melania and all that can you imagine how horrible that would be some abandoned little flea bag oh just be so sad just snuckled up in the corner you know the dog would end up being a dick because that's what trump raises i mean one million and not smart all right welcome to i've had it i'm jennifer i'm angie um all right so So today, Kylie is busy editing some episodes, some banger episodes for iHip News, our other podcast. She's not with us today. So I'm going to read the reviews. Seth is joining us. Seth, pop up the first review. The good ones. It's a five-star review. Love it. I was wary of listening to this podcast because, you know, two white ladies. I didn't even know about Kylie then. Turns out these are three of the good ones. Even the occasional husband seems to be a good one. They are truly modeling the behavior of progression, learning, listening, critical thinking, course correcting, and speaking out in support of the marginalized and against the fascist takeover. I could go on, but this review is already too long. And I have to say, Moon Pearl 513, go on. Keep it coming, Pearl. Keep going. Go back in and add more. like you know i've decided at first i was like oh it doesn't matter but now i'm like at 51 and how do you know 60 fuck you 56 56 56 is a lot older than me i've decided like you know what i do like the flattery i'm gonna own it i dig it and you know what's great about us we can accept the flattery yeah and the and the criticism rolls off us like water off a duck's back all right let's read the next review. Oh, another five-star review from Wren Marie, one of the best podcasts out there. I am obsessed with your show, The Wit, The Honesty. I love how you just hold space to express the frustrations we feel today and even lovingly push back with each other at times when it's needed. I go back and forth between I have news in this show. It helps me deal with my own rage. I appreciate you both sharing your stories and your grace regarding disagreement and criticism them, keep up the important work. Here's what I have to say. That's fantastic. The whole thing that we're going through right now is really abusive, what the federal government is doing. It is. And I think that when you think about a family or you think about a relationship, you always thought, okay, emotional safety is something that I value. At least for me, I've always valued emotional safety and I've tried to strive when I didn't know what that was. I got into therapy to learn what that was to define it. Like emotional safety should be paramount. It should be a priority. So being in relationships that are transparent, that are honest and that have value. Like that is one of the top tier things that I seek in relationships. And so you never really thought as an American living in a superpower that you really had to worry about that. And I say that as a white woman, as a white woman, I didn't have to worry about emotional safety with my government. So the eyeopening thing for me has been, and this started before Trump, my youngest son played AAU basketball. And I became really close with a lot of the other basketball mothers. And these are black women that had to work two jobs that had a different narrative, they had to tell their sons about how to interact with police or how to interact in society or what they could be wearing when they're walking from their house to 7-Eleven. So that was a real eye-opening thing for me, the disparity in experience. And I've always been open-minded and I've always been anti-racist and I've always been progressive. But bonding with other women when raising my kids that came from a different place that I came from is one of the most valuable things that ever happened. And I love these women and I love their kids. And I witnessed other parents be racist towards their kids, excuse the racism of other white parents towards their kids. And this experience now that we are experiencing white Americans from the federal government where we see Renee Nicole Good get shot and we see Alex Preddy get shot. It's so jarring, but it's not jarring for black America. And one of the biggest points I think coming out of this, if we really get structurally into it, is we didn't value the safety of all Americans. And that is on us. The black community was telling us for a long time. We are getting over-policed. Nobody's enriching or investing in our communities. There's a disparity in sentencing. There is structural racism in the court system, policing, financial lenders, etc. And we would go, okay, I'm going to go vote Democrat, and that's going to solve it. But the lesson in all of this is when you leave one group vulnerable, You leave everybody vulnerable. And those white people that think they're safe in MAGA, particularly white Christian men, my favorite is you, because they tried to kill Mike Pence. They tried to kill Mike fucking Pence, who had a pet rabbit and calls his wife mother. And so I, the biggest lesson for white people that we have to atone for is not listening to our black brothers and sisters in this country and all the racism that is allowed the silence the silent racism that always goes unchecked That that the part that the grossest to me the people who allow racists in their life to act with, with impunity. This podcast is supported by FX's love story, John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bissett, the new limited series from executive producer Ryan Murphy. It explores the complex courtship of the iconic couple considered to be American royalty, whose love story captured the attention of the nation. Their fairytale romance would unfold in front of the public eye, where their private love would also become a national obsession. FX's love story, John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bissett. Watch now on FX, Hulu, and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. All right, ladies, you know, makeup is one of these things we all, when we see ourselves without it, we're like, oh my God. And then when you put some on, you're like, well, that doesn't look like me either. That's why I'm so proud to share with you my discovery of Jones Road Beauty. Their products actually enhance your skin instead of masking it with layers of makeup. It's giving me this effortless natural look, which was exactly what I'm looking for. You don't have to use brushes, no complicated routine. You can just use your fingertips and go. 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All right, listener, let's take a moment to celebrate women, all that they carry at work and relationships and families and the many roles that women hold every single day. And that brings us to March. And what's so great about March is March includes International Women's Day, a moment to celebrate women's strength and progress while also recognizing how much they carry every day. And just on a personal note here, I'm just going to be really candid. I've had a lot of therapy and I've needed the therapy, raising kids, having a career, jobs. It's really, really difficult. And I'm so grateful for my therapist with BetterHelp because in the privacy of my own home or office, I can go on, unplug, vent, get counsel, re-center with the help from my BetterHelp therapist. And the client reviews are excellent. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally. So listener, your emotional well-being matters. Find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash hadit. That's betterhelp.com slash hadit. Okay, moving along, we have news stories. Pop this up. extensive decades-long study finds high IQ men reject right-wing social views. So this is something we've been saying since the inception of the podcast, and now the science is catching up. So I have a friend that's super active in dating, super active in dating. And she has been bamfoozled. You know, we've read about men that don't tell you they're MAGA when they start dating you that you meet and then you find out I had a conversation with her so she has that has happened to her twice one was openly MAGA but she didn't know it he wasn't openly MAGA with her two had straight up lied about it all over social media all that she said three worst lays in the history of her life all MAGA all MAGA okay so then I call another friend that's super active dating life And I'm like, Hey, I just have a question for you. Have you encountered MAGA men that you've slept with? And how would you think that? And she, we went back over a 10 year period and the worst lays ended up being MAGA. And so I think they're not as smart and they're also terrible ways, which leads me to my point. A lot of this is controlled by men that have insecurities and little penises. There are a lot of two inch limbs in there too. And so I did my own research. So this is another that will lead the, the, the, the study will come soon. Right. It was just a very selfish two pump. Well, you know, there's this whole thing online, like MAGA men are having a hard time dating. Nobody will date, women will not date MAGA men. I mean, Trump is so underwater with women. And so a lot of these young MAGA guys are so frustrated. And that's why I think they're turning to like Nick Fuentes because women just straight up don't want to date a chauvinist prick. Like it's just not that complicated. And so it surprises me zero that these MAGA men are bad lays because they're all compensatory narcissists. And the MAGA movement and the culture that it has created is, I mean, like, I don't even hardly think about Trump that much anymore. He's kind of irrelevant to me. Right. I think more now about the incubation because MAGA, that the shit that it started and it's incubating is so bad. I mean, Trump, he's not even a fucking serious person. Yeah, he has a serious job right now, but he is a dipshit with dementia. it makes zero sense when he talks he he like the whole MAGA thing was like oh the liberals want participation trophies everybody gets a trophy now everybody has a pronoun blah blah blah your fucking president is the biggest participation trophy loser oh my gosh loser on the planet he steals people's medals he steals people's trophies he has billionaires make up bullshit awards to give to him. And he stands there and holds it like he's so fucking proud of it. Everything you all hated and spoke out against this pussy embraces. He is a participation trophy president and y'all dig it. Love all the shit. And they believe in nothing. These people believe in nothing. There is no conviction, none. And that's a deal breaker for me. People that don't have fucking conviction, fucking believe in something if you're a racist believe in it right believe in it say it but the the people that pick me people i've had it at this stage in fascism i've had it and at this stage in my life at 51 years old i just simply you get to choose who you want to be around pick me people can go fuck themselves yeah i've had it not picking them okay so the next news story is A Dutch worker goes viral for explaining he has life outside work to his American boss. So this was on Reddit. My American manager tried to write me up for, quote, lack of commitment because I leave at 5 p.m. sharp. I work in the Netherlands. I work for the Dutch branch of a large U.S. tech company. We recently got a new middle manager based in New York. He seemed like a nice guy at first, but it turns out he is totally obsessed with hustle culture. Last week, he had a one-on-one meeting where he told me he was concerned about my dedication to the team. He listed his grievances quite clearly. He didn't like that my Slack status goes offline at 5.01 p.m. every single day. He was annoyed that I didn't reply to an email he sent on Saturday morning until Monday at 9 a.m. And he was especially frustrated that I refused to join a quote, team bonding Zoom that was scheduled for 7 p.m. my time, which is 1 p.m. his time. He gave me the usual speech about how in this company we go the extra mile and that if I want to grow, I need to be more available. I had to give him a bit of a reality check. I looked at him in the eye over Zoom and told him that in the Netherlands, if you can't finish your work by 5 p.m., it doesn't mean you're dedicated. It means you are inefficient or understaffed. I told him that I am neither. I also reminded him that contacting me outside of working hours for non-emergencies is actually frowned upon here and that my contract is for 40 hours, not 40 hours plus nights and weekends. He tried to threaten me with a performance improvement plan. I immediately forwarded the email to our Dutch HR representative. She literally laughed when she read it and told me to ignore him. She said she would have a quote chat with him about local labor laws. And then of course, since then, the boss hasn't sent my email since 5 p.m. I love this so much because I, my work, I'm a, I'm a big worker during work hours. I always tell people I'm available during work hours. I put on my schedule if I have a workout, but I wake up and I go to work all day long. I love to work. I love my job. My career has been the central outside of my children, the central most important part of my adulthood. I value it. And so many of my adult identities are attached to my career. However, when I'm off work, I'm off work. I rarely, rarely text people after hours. If I text an employee early in the morning, I started off with my apologies for texting so early. I try to be very cognizant of that. And in my interior design world, I have clients that will group text me and my head designer for my design firm. They'll group text us at 6 a.m. about something arbitrary about their interior design project. And I go out of the group text and leave my employee out of it and then respond to my client, hello, and good morning. I removed blank from this text message because I don't like to bug my employees at 6 a.m. Also, could you think maybe if you want to email us, if you want to contact us this morning, could you possibly putting an email? I'm available. I'm an early riser if you need to sort through this right now. And then typically, if you draw a boundary like that, they will respond, oh my God, I'm so sorry. Yes, I'll put it into email. But I try to be respectful of that and that American idea. Like, I think it's your son. Doesn't he work something like 90 hours a week or something? 90 or a hundred hours a week. And a lot of it, I was seeing him in that because I talked to him all the time. And I say, I understand that, you know, you work all the time, but my thought would be if you're so tired and I think the same of like resident, like doctor residency, like if you were this exhausted, how can you be making your best decisions because if I am exhausted and overtired, I get dumber. Like I don't make the sharpest decisions. And so I think that is valuable. And even in his line of work, they had somebody new come in and it was like, that person just left like at 11 PM instead of staying till three, you know, AM. And it was somewhat like, you know, he's, he's slacking off and I'm like, maybe he's taking care of himself. Maybe when he's at work, he's making better decisions. I don't know how it ended because, you know, I get the information he wants to give me, but I just thought a lot about that. And I just think performance wise, you have to have some time away. You just have to. Well, and I think it's more than just performance wise. Like we have to value as a society something bigger than careers Like my career is so important to me And it been such a it a therapeutic thing When my husband went through his addiction when we had major financial problems, I was able to really dive into my career and it was therapeutic. It was self-esteem affirmation for me. I enjoy it. But when I checked out, I check out, I was on a podcast yesterday. A guy asked me, are you worked up all the time? And I was like, no, when I leave the office, I go play tennis. I'm hanging out with my family. I have fantastic, progressive, open-minded friends, gay guys that I have fun phone conversations with. And I let the Trump stuff, I let the work stuff go. And like for your poor oldest son, like so much of his twenties is going to be defined by this hustle culture. And then there's a lot of important social development at that age. Absolutely. Dating, getting hammered. Right. All this stuff. Making bad decisions. Yes. Yes. A lot of shame. And that's it. This type of stuff, making people, like breaking them down and making them work that much is a uniquely American thing. And I wish that we would shift gears and quit placating to corporations so much. And the corporations would embrace treating their employees better. because the fact that we give, when you start letting people off the hook for things, it's a dangerous thing. We let corporations off the hook for not paying taxes. We let corporations off the hook for not paying their employees a livable wage. We let corporations off the hook for so much stuff. And then they treat their employees like shit. And they go, you're mine. I own you. It's kind of like this slave labor mentality thing that exists in the United States. Maybe it's an extension from slavery, you know, like these corporations own you and the worship of corporations is so gross. Okay. Seth, do we have some voice memos? We do. And this first one is from Alan. Hi, ladies. Hi, Seth. I wanted to send this I've had it because I know y'all said y'all want more. I've had it. And my I've had it actually comes after watching like recent podcast episodes i know that pump said that like people like we need to bring back fat ass and it made me think i don't think that we're talking enough shit as of lately like we need to gossip more as humans like i think it's in our human nature and i've had it with people that are like i'm above gossip i don't like to gossip or like if somebody's at a dinner table we're all talking shit and They're like, I just don't like to do that. I just think it's rude. Well, fuck you. Like, you're a fat ass that needs to go. Like, I just want to talk shit. That's all I want to do. Whether it's about politics or pop culture or, you know, sometimes you just want to have a fucking friend that you want to talk shit about. Not in a mean way. But, I mean, even if it is in a mean way, just let people gossip. And I've had it with people that don't want to gossip. and don't want to talk shit. Okay. Love you. Bye. I have a new, I have a new thing I'm bringing back. I listened to a lot of British books and I watch a lot of British television. You know what? Something I'm under utilizing. She's a fucking cow, male or female fucking cow. I like it. It's like twat. I'm into it. And my counter argument to that would be what's the worst. and I have participated in this is when people say, let's pray for Jennifer, because then they go on to gossip, but it's guised in, they want to pray about it. So sometimes when I'm being a shithead, I might call and say, I know I'm a shithead and this makes me very immature, but I have to say it because I think it's grosser to say, I want to pray for somebody really, you just want to talk shit. I, um, I agree with the shit talking. I, I have a couple of people in my life from time to time will send or say ugly things, really ugly things about other people. And I don't like that. Like I do not like, uh, beating people, punching down just for the sake of being a dick. I just, it's always bothered me. It particularly bothers me now shit talking about stuff. I love to shit talk, but gossip is one of these things that people can be incredibly stomach turning about incredibly. And I, there's, when I think about the times that I've been around people that are really being ugly, I feel like, oh my God, I need to exfoliate the fuck out of my body right now. I feel so contaminated by their toxicity. So I think it's a fine line with the caller. Like I love shit talking, love it. I love gossiping about MAGA and bad people. But when I see sometimes people are just fucking mean in their God. And I, I just, I have always felt like my moral compass, like, does that make you feel better? Like, what is that about? Like, what is that punching down about? Because it's clearly not about that person. There's something about that, that really upsets me. And I've been around it a couple of times lately. And it's something where I'm like, I don't think I want to be around that. Like that is too toxic for my taste. Yeah. I have evolved on that because I gossip queen when I was younger, as I get older, I find it, I find that I'm less, I don't like it. When people just punch down for the sake of punching down and to be cute or I don't know. I just, I'm always like, what the fuck is that about? Like, does that make you feel good? I think that's what it is. It's gross. I think a lot of times you pick it something like you covet something. So you want to make it worse. You want to try to demean it a little bit. Yeah. I don't, my mother was never a, um, like I remember I was a cheerleader when I was younger and a lot of the moms were super involved in gossiping about other children on the cheerleading squad and other moms. And they would have these parents meetings and my mother would say, I'm not going. I'd have zero desire to be around these women. They are horrible. They are literally horrible human beings that sit and gossip about other people's children, like that you cannot punch any more down than that. And so that was the example that was set for me at a really young age of seeing how, how, I just don't think there's anything worse on the planet than a grown ass woman that sits and gossips about a child with their children. It's like, I'm like, that is the most toxic thing I have ever seen in my life. And it's, it's abundant, but I'm not being very much fun for the caller because the caller wants to bring back some shit talking. And I mean, I fucking love to shit talk. I just hate the punching down. I hate it. I think it is such an ugly part of humanity. Yeah, no, I agree with you. And we see it so much. Like it's the last 10 years we've seen it just in every aspect of life. And I think it gets grosser, but I do love it's shit talk. And I do love saying funny things to my friends that I would like, I like to say it to their face and laugh about it. Like we do that with each other all the time. This episode of I've had it is brought to you by Wild Grain. Listener Wild Grain is the first bake from frozen subscription box for sourdough breads, artisanal pastries, and fresh pastas. And unlike many store-bought options, Wild Grain uses simple ingredients you can pronounce and a slow fermentation process that can be easier on your belly and richer in nutrients and antioxidants. Wild Grains boxes are fully customizable. In addition to their variety box, they have a gluten-free box, vegan box, and a new protein box. They taste delicious. 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Text fees may apply. okay Seth who's next all right up next we've got Tina hello Jennifer Pumps and Kylie this is Tina coming to you from sunny Phoenix Arizona let me tell you what I've had it with this morning I went into my dermatologist's office to get my annual mold check as soon as I got into the room the tech comes in and pulls out her phone and starts scrolling through all of these pictures of homemade flower bouquets that her 17 year old daughter makes. She was trying to pressure me into buying one. And I'm like sitting there going, I just want to get undressed, get my moles checked and be on with my day. But I will tell you, this is the second time I've been to a dermatologist. The other time was a tech came in and tried to sell me her own personal line of skincare before the dermatologist came in the room. So I'm not quite sure why techs are taking so much liberty with dermatologist's office and selling their own shit. But let me tell you, I have fucking had it with dermatology techs that are trying to sell me their own shit that I am not interested in buying. I'm there to get my moles checked and that's it. I don't want to buy your shitty little bouquet flowers or the homemade skincare that you probably created in your basement. Thank you. That's just the forced capitalism that you were talking about at the top. Like that's horrible. You're going to get a mold check. You're not going to buy a mom. You know, and here's the thing too. I think it takes a special kind of person to walk in like my little Sally, she made a bouquet and it is so good. I'm going to come in to the workplace and try to sell not even coworkers that are my friends, but people that I don't know, because I think her work is so special. Everybody's 17 year old can make a flower bouquet. It's just not that special. Like stop, stop, stop. I honestly, I know that you're going to give me shit about this. I would absolutely tell the dermatologist what was going on. I would because if it were my business and my assistant went out to a divorce client and said oh hey my little Sally made it you know this bullshit ugly ass thing And I want to show it to you And I want you to feel pressure to buy it As an employer, I would want to know that. So I would absolutely. Let me ask you this. If you're in there getting your mall check and the doctor's running late and then the nurse is in there talking to you, she starts showing you this shit. Do you feed that stray cat? Do you start asking a bunch of questions? Do you engage? Feed the cat. Small talk it. then go tattle. Okay. Now here's what I would do. Here's exactly what you're going to draw a boundary with the nurse. No, probably not that, but I, I mean, I'm going to be honest. I probably wouldn't, but I would say, Oh my gosh, those are great. I have to look on my phone for a second. I've got to answer an email or I would dismiss the situation. Am I going to lie and tell you there wasn't a time that I would go in. I would compliment. I would say how fabulously talented these stupid little salads. When do you think you made this change? Last week? Yesterday? Fuck you. It's a slow evolution. I'd say in the last 10 years, I've gotten better about it. Probably foot on the brake and really made a noticeable change. Like the inside would have been dying the whole time. But now the outside and the inside, I'm trying to make those the same. I can't wait to be out with you and to see this new Angie. Okay. I'm just telling you. I'm excited to see this boundary drawing. Are you making fun of me? No, I just, I don't know this version of you. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited to see it in action. This is news to me. No, I am. I am. Okay. Who's next? All right. Up next is Shay. Hello, everyone. I have had it with people who refuse to celebrate their birthday. The people who their birthday comes around and they say, It's just another day. It's not another fucking day. It's your birthday. You were born this day. You celebrate because you were born this day. And all the other people in your life that love you want to celebrate you because you were born this day. And when you say that out loud, it's just another day. That makes all the other people who love to celebrate their birthday because they're fucking normal sound like assholes. Sound like selfish little assholes when really you're the loser who just wants to pretend like you don't like attention. Because why? Because you don't know how to have fun? because you don't know how to celebrate yourself, because you're upholding the patriarchy and you're a woman and so women aren't allowed to have anything for themselves or any celebratory reason to just be happy that they exist, right? You sound fucking lame as hell. I would never be your friend. I would never hang out with you. And I think you suck. So I've had it with non-celebratory fucking freaks. You're not... I think you're going to have it with us. Caller. I was going to say she's, I'm the loser. I am too. I get so tired of birthdays. I, and I don't, I'm uncomfortable with a bunch. Here's the thing. What happens with a birthday now because of the smartphone, somebody posts on their story, happy birthday, Jennifer, blah, blah. And then you're like, okay, I like it. And then you think, well, I probably need to reshare it because that was really nice of them. So then you share it. And then the texts start in people. I, I, the last time I had a birthday, I had a text stream from somebody and it was like the last seven years, the only texts that were happy birthday. Thank you. Exclamation point. The next year, happy birthday. Thank you. Happy birthday. Thank you. And I just, I get, I appreciate that the caller wants to celebrate birthdays and that you would think we're freaks. You get to have that. I am tired of fucking celebrating shit. I am so American culture over celebrates shit. Nothing is like the person who I have the seven year relationship, happy birthday. We don't need to be talking. Right. If for seven years, all we've done is you've trolled my Instagram and found out it's my birthday. Really nice to say happy birthday. but if we don't have anything to say to each other in that time period, let's call it. Right. Doesn't hurt my feelings. Let's call it. And I, I just am not a big birthday celebrator. Now I, when my children were little, big, I wanted them to have parties, cakes, party favors, their friends, the cheesier, the better. Like I was very big into, because a kid should feel their birthday. They should celebrate it. But now that my kids are in college, like it's, I'm like, let's go to dinner. Or do you want me to get pizza at the house? And then I get a cake and that is it. That is the end of, of the road. Yeah. I am one of those people that she hates. Now I will say this. If I have a close friend that loves their birthday, I, I do all the birthday stuff and I, I do it because I love them and they love their birthday and it makes them happy. I'm happy to do that for me personally, the less fanfare, the better. Like my idea of celebrating Mother's Day was you take the kids away from me. That's celebrate. My idea of a happy birthday is to not have to get up and go out to dinner and do all that. So, and I just had one and you just feel pressure like, okay, I have to make plans with this person and this person. And it's so nice, but I feel like, and this is going to make her hate me and not want to be my friend, but every single person on the planet has a birthday. Every single day, there are millions of people that have birthdays. Yours really isn't that special. Like it's, it's great to celebrate. It's just another day. It's just another day. I don't usually say that, but I just, I don't feel a big need to celebrate my birthday. I don't say that, but I also don't like if people are like, let's go together for lunch for your birthday. And I was like, I'm good. I really, really appreciate it. I get kind of uncomfortable. I just rather go to lunch because we're going to lunch. I don't want to go to lunch with the focus being my birthday. I just, and I'm not a big, like, I'm not a big, like girls grouper. And I've always just avoid, this is where the other caller and this call kind of meld together. It's always a group of girls that'd be like, let's get together and do your birthday. And I just, I like more mixed company. I'm more of a, I'm not super big into homosocial relationships. I have great ladies in my, in my friendships, fantastic, but God, I love my gay guys. And so I like more of a mixed, mixed bag of, of free time, more diversity. Do you think we just lost a listener? No, she loves us. Here's the thing. Like, I don't think, and I've had it listener is they're tough. They're not going to fold suit because we think it's stupid to celebrate birthdays because we're stupid for saying that. And she can go fuck Jen and pumps. I hate them. And then she's going to tune in the right next episode. Yeah. True. All right. Let's do one last one, Seth. Okay. This one is from Lex. Hey, ladies. So I have a grievance and I don't know if this has been discussed on the podcast yet. I don't think it has because I listen to literally fucking everything. But my grievance is I'm tired of moms or parents. it's usually moms though that i see that'll be like we don't have the same 24 hours in a day or if you finished a workout today and you don't have three kids then it's not really a feat like big we have the same 24 hours but you chose to fill yours with multiple children why the fuck is that my fault now my workout isn't a workout because i don't have fucking kids to go home to like, excuse me, Jesus Christ. What? And I'm talking about the brown Jesus, not the white one. Uh, what the fuck? Like, how does that make my life any less valuable? Because I don't have kids. It's just fucking weird. I completely agree with her. The weaponization of children is such a thing. And it's, I get really irritated. I remember when we first started this podcast, it was not about our kids. It was not about us being mothers. I mean, there might be a grievance from time to time about the kids, but it was about us and the shit that we wanted to shit talk about. And there was this website, Scary Mommy, and they kept covering our podcast and they called us mom podcasters. And I thought that was really reductive. You don't go and call Joe Rogan, dad podcaster, Joe Rogan does this. And I just think there's this whole really weird niche of the internet where there's this whole outperforming each other motherhood wise. TikTok has exacerbated that. And I just, I don't feel any more of a woman, better of a woman, better of a person for having kids than not having kids. It was my personal choice. It's my deal. Um, I have nothing but envy for the people that have, um, you know, made that choice for themselves to not have kids, but to quantify the valuing of time and workouts and shit, that's just, to me, the person with three kids is really, really jealous of our gal there. Yeah. Yeah. And really jealous. And I've said this before on the podcast, but I never, it was never an opportunity or I never felt like it was a question that I was going to have kids. That was what was expected of me. I have so much admiration for these women because right now they're under attack that say, you know what? I'm not going to have kids. That's just not a choice for me. I really admire that. I'm not saying I don't want kids, but I just, I want every female to be like, if I want kids, that's fine. But the expectation that somebody who is female has to have a kid is I really hate it. I really hate it. And it's probably like a trigger thing for me a little bit. And I'm glad I had kids, but I'm just saying like, and for that to be weaponized, I just think a lot of these mothers just don't have anything fucking better to do than talk about their kids and how much time they spend on their kids. And I'm like, your kids probably suck. they're probably a fucking little cow. Yeah. Yeah. The mom culture. And I think back to my, my mom kind of set this tone where she wasn't going to get involved in all that parent shit. And when my kids were going through school, I didn't get involved in it. I was not the person that I picked my moments, even with my kids school group, like there would be a group of parents. my youngest child played a bunch of basketball when he wasn't playing AAU basketball and he played school ball there'd be a bunch of parents sitting there together I knew they were MAGA I knew they were racist I wasn't going to sit with him your company's better than them and neither was Josh and we went and we sat by ourselves like I was not and Roman was like why don't you sit with him I was like they're MAGA racist and he goes yeah they kind of are their kids kind of suck too so having this honest conversation about preparing you know kids for yeah there's this whole thing that's like oh we're all in this together we all have to just like no i don't have to hang out with you i don't have to sit by you i don't have to work out and think that my workout's better but you know what i wish the caller would say you know what my workout was 10 fucking thousand times better than yours bitch because i didn't have to worry about these kids draining my life i enjoyed it and i bet you i burned more calories than your ass did or my life is so much happier, not a better and workout better in every way. All right. I think that's all we have for today. Um, pups tell them we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up patriots, gaytriots and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called iHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20 minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcast and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind pumps, pumps. What does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm. Caw-caw. That's it. That's, that's, caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country means right there.