Jungle River Journey | Girl from the Themepark (from the Vault #666)

from PRX. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and friends beyond the binary. It's time for the podcast that's been asking for a few months. You know, I'd like to know Drake's plan. You know, I don't need to know the top plan, but Drake, what's your plan? And if you've got a secret one, like going to the In-N-Out Burger with Steph Curry without me, you know, maybe fill me in. But I actually was in bed asleep when you did that, whatever that was a year or two ago. Anyway, it's time for sleep. Who ponders these kind of things? I do. It's time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. Hey, everybody, this is Scoots. This is where I normally do these pitches for Sleep With Me Plus. but instead I'm doing this listening campaign to get a better understanding of regular listeners who've never supported the show and who haven't decided not to support the show. Because last year I heard from a lot of people who aren't in the business to support the show and a lot of people who say, I just don't support podcasts or I just don't want to support Sleep With Me. But I haven't heard from most of the people that listen regularly. So I'd love to hear from you. And I'm just kind of trying to figure out the feel, get a better sense of things, you know. So if you've ever heard me asking for support and you said, man, I don't need more. This free version always works or I don't need bonus content. This version of podcast is good. I'm curious, like when you feel more of the feelings or the sense like behind, I don't It sounds like a hassle or more or what do I even get? Does it sound like like more work or extra effort, like more like more overwhelm, something you'd have to manage or some other feelings or some other sense? I don't even know about. If you want to let me know, it's optional, but be a huge help. You could do so at sleep with me podcast dot com slash. Listen. Oh, mystery barred. A lot of people help out on the show. Who are they? Chris Posty, Posterson. Sounds like a near fall. Wrote the theme song. Edits episodes too. Girl W the legend. Also edits episode. Ashley, Kenny, Scotty, Jennifer. Run, run, run, run, run. Eric and the team at his down door on the website. I am the mystery bar. I do the lullabies, yeah. I do commissions at JonathanMann.net. I'll write a song for you. Any reason at all. You can tell me the story and I'll make it personal. You see the kindness shine straight on through when the listeners form their own Facebook group. Keith, Stacy, Sarah, Julie, and Jennifer. These are your moderators. Get support, dear scooter, on Patreon. Buy the merch and support the sponsors. You can find anything you want at sleepwithmepodcast.com And we're so proud that we could dance. Rusty biscuit, Lois, Hannah like banana. Leah does the transcript. Thanks, Mystery Bard. You should gift yourself the gift of sleep phones with Sleep With Me branded sleep phones. We've got a few different ones. And you can get those at sleepwithmepodcast.com slash sleep phones. That's the only place you can get the sleep with me versions of sleep phones. sleepwithmepodcast.com slash sleep phones. and use the promo code sleepwithme at checkout to get a discount. That's sleepwithmepodcast.com slash sleep phones and use sleepwithme at checkout. Thanks, everybody. What do you say we get on with the show? Hey, are you up all night tossing and turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. All you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I'm going to do the rest. What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you can set aside whatever is keeping you awake, whether it's thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, time, temperature, seasonal changes, you know, seasonal stuff, travel, whatever is keeping you awake, I'd like to take your mind off. I'd like to distract you from it in a way that's just interesting enough to get your attention, but not super engaging. And that's what I mean, like a safe place where you could say, hmm, I could be safe. Imagine a school. I guess this wouldn't be a very good school. But it'd be a good school to sleep in. And I guess it would be more of a professorial situation or some sort of experimental school that the funding doesn't come through for the second year or quarter run by scoots where we say paying attention is optional. There was a Simpsons episode like that where Bart and Lisa got sent to the wrong schools. Really, like early on. But they say, hey, go ahead and get in beanbags and all that stuff. That's my safe place. So this is a podcast where listening is optional. And what I'm going to do is I'm going to send my voice across the deep dark night. I'm going to use the lulling, soothing, creaky dulcet tones, pointless meanders. I've already been on a couple. Tangents, meanderwear. No, no, not me. Meanderwear is meanderwear. I try to make you feel comfortable. and maybe not make you guffaw, but just guff. I guess, yes, could you just faw or guff? I guess I'm more of a guffer. You'd say, scoots doesn't make me, you'd say, in my perfect world, you'd say, scoots doesn't make me guffaw, but I do get a little bit of a guff out. And I guess that's good because there was those Billy Guffs. Oh, those were Billy Gruff goats or something. Let's go back to it. Let me set up new listeners. I'm glad you're here. Trying to create a safe place to help you fall asleep. Let me give you a couple structural things. The show starts with business, about four minutes of business. That's how we keep the show. And over 650 archived episodes for a sponsor's and the patrons at the top of the show and between the intro and the story. And you can find all that at sleepwithmepodcast.com slash sponsors. but if you're new that's not super important thanks for sitting through that then there's the intro the intro's around 12 minutes or so of me welcoming the new listeners and then so it's a familiar part you say hey welcome to the show let me get you set up so you know what's coming and then i get mixed up usually or distracted by like billy goats and what are their names? And is there a word called guff? I mean, I know there is. How about a shirt that says, are you guff enough? I think Waiting for Guffman might have a, you know, they might have a, they might say, well, I doth protest. Oh, so, okay, so there's an intro where I ramble for about 12 minutes. Most listeners said it while they're getting ready for bed or while they're just winding down, just getting into bed. And it kind of sets the stage for the rest of the show. Tonight we'll be talking about our, we'll have an episode of our ongoing episodically modular serial series about a girl who lives in a theme park, a very dense and lulling bedtime story. And a few listeners just skip ahead to that. Those are usually people, they check out the ads and then skip ahead to the story. Some people fall asleep during the intro. Some people listen to the intro over and over again. And some people let the podcast play all night. So there's no real wrong way to listen to the podcast. You don't need to listen, clearly. Oh, structure. Sorry, I already went off topic. So there's an intro, a bedtime story, and some thank yous at the end. and there's ways to support the show sandwiched in there. So that's the structure of the show, but you don't need to listen. It'd be great if you pay attention at the top of the show, but otherwise you don't need to pay attention. You don't need to pay me any mind, and you can listen at a low volume. You can adjust the volume. You can put a pillow over your phone, or you can put your phone on your nightstand and put a pillow over your head, or use a Bluetooth speaker. That's what I would recommend. Or sleep phones. So that's, oh, so you don't need to listen to me. That's optional. But if you can't sleep, if you need some companionship in the deep, dark night, I'll be here all the way to the end. Because I know there is a percentage of listeners ever since the start of the show that are going to be up all night. And I'm here. I'm here to keep you company, to keep you barely entertained, to give you some guffs. Because I do declare, I do declare I am guff enough. Hopefully, I guess I probably should have Googled what guff means. Because I guess you usually say, hey, are you giving me some guff? And I'd say, yeah, well, I'm giving you guff by the dozens, guffaws, half guffaws, guffaws, half off. Because they don't want to give you any awes. Because it's after the guff. You know what I mean? Like, you can have an incomplete guffaw. That's a guff. But, like, to have an awe. I don't know if you can have an awe without having a guff. You can have a guff without an awe. Oh, wait. Oh, sorry. I got to get back to the new listeners. I was trying to explain the... So this is a podcast you don't really need to listen to. And you're also under no pressure to fall asleep. I'll be here for about an hour. And I'll be giving it my all. So you can fall asleep whenever you feel like it. Just like if we were holding hands. If you're comfortable with that imagery, you don't really need to. We don't need to hold hands. But I'll be here walking at your side. And ideally, you'll slowly drift through my hands or drift off into dreamland. So that's how the show works. And usually this part of the intro where I try to make a metaphor for how the podcast works. and part of it is yeah like maybe like something like pre-humor they say what's kind of like humor uh it's like maybe scoots has some of the energy of jokes uh like the raw material he just doesn't know what to do with it he's kind of sitting in you know like rare earth minerals he's got uh i wouldn't say they're rare humor minerals uh but he does have some you know basic humor constructs. They're just all over the place. And yeah, I'd say in the hands of someone more deft, they would be handing out guffaws, but I'm just here to hand out guffs. And I still am confused, so I do need to take a few minutes to analyze these words. So there's guffaw, then there's guff, then I think my grandparents' grandparents would say, if you were like if you had an attitude they would say save the guff for somebody else I think I can hear that but I hear a lot of things that aren't necessarily exist at all and then there was the billy goats and I guess those were the billy goats gruff they weren't the billy goats guff they were the billy goats gruff which I think here's and I'm not trying to do this intentionally Like scruff, I picture billy goats with scruff, like, uh, like kind of like half beards. So what's makes them gruff? Cause does that mean, and I'm not, I guess I'm, I mean, I'll look it up later, but what it made them gruff. Like they, they, uh, they all went over a bridge and, uh, that's all I, that's all I, I mean, I remember the other stuff that happened with the bridge, the bridge tender who said, well, hey, how about this or how about that? Who's traipsing around? I just painted this bridge. And we all know how that story went. Some of us, but one of us maybe not. So those were the billy goats, gruff. And then there's the grandparents that maybe at some point in the last 300 years said guff. I think that's a thing. I will look it up when I'm done. but I'm saying I'm trying oh boy I guess I lost you know ideally I lost you somewhere along there as I try to follow these thoughts but like yeah humor like stuff guff and I told I think there was a movie that I used to watch a long time ago called Tough Enough maybe but I've looked I've googled it and I said no that's not the same movie but you know I have the guff stuff what did I say before I'm going to bring the guff I don't think I say, I do, I try to bring the guff, buckets of guff, my voice is gruff, I mean, I don't even know what gruff means, but I would say these are creaky dulcet, gruffy tones. Yeah, they're gruffy, the bits, he's not stuffy, he's more gruffy. Also, that was my favorite Muppet that only appeared on one episode of the Muppet Show, was gruffy, gruffy the puppy. He worked for Rolf for a little while Rolf was a piano player, am I correct? Yeah, Gruffy, he was like Rolf's cousin And his job was to shine the keys to the piano And Gruffy the puppy Only one episode I think it was like the Muppets episode 47 The Lost episode Only available on the Muppet tapes which were downloaded directly into my brain. And unfortunately, they're not even available on eBay because they're kind of surrounded by guffy stuff. So anyway, if you're new here, I would posit that that was a pretty dense non... I don't know if that was a non sequitur, but it was nonsense, non-sensitur. So making up words now nonstop. But anyway, hopefully I took your mind off stuff. This is a podcast to help you to keep you company and to distract you as you drift off into sleep. It's a little bit different than most things. A little bit silly, a little bit strange, but I really want to help. I've been there sleepless in the deep dark night. Last night, I had multiple distractions going on and kept waking up. And I don't think I had any trouble initially falling asleep. But yeah, and the thing is, I know what it's like. And I feel for you. And I may not know exactly why you can't get a good night's sleep. But I really, truly, wholeheartedly believe you deserve a good night's sleep. And I believe the world will be a better place if you're rested and out there flourishing in it. So I'm here to help. Now, it doesn't help everybody. Give it two or three tries, three or four tries if needed, and see if it works. No pressure. Test it out and see what happens. No expectations, but I hope it helps. It worked very hard. You're in a nice drive because I want to help you fall asleep. Thanks for coming by. If I could have a few minutes to your attention while we talk about how we keep the show going. Hey, everybody. This is Scoots. This is where I normally try to get people to support the show. It's Sleep With Me Plus, but I'm trying to change things up because requests for support have not been. They're just to kind of try it like, I don't know. It's not what I'm doing. It's not working. Right. So I guess some questions you could answer them. You could think about them or you don't need to, though. Like when you think about supporting the show or me saying, hey, can you support the podcast? in the varying degrees of intensity, I tend to ask, does that feel like one more decision you have to make at the end of a long day or something you don't want to see? You're like, I'm just here to go to sleep, right? Like, I don't want to think about how to make this show sustainable. Or is it something else? And I don't know. I'm trying to figure out what I'm missing, right? That's if you're a regular listener, right? The podcast changes your life for the better And you've never let me know about this Because last year, tons of people let me know They said, I can't afford to support the show Or I just don't support podcasts But I haven't heard from listeners like you That are regular listeners You've never supported the show But you've never said, I'm not going to support the show So if you do want me to listen and I could get to know things a little bit better. You can fill out the form at sleepofmypodcast.com slash listen. Thanks. Hey, everybody. Welcome to our ongoing episodic modular, but it has a serial kind of series, extremely dreamy. And it's very dense so that you can fall deep asleep. It's about a young girl, a young woman growing up in a theme park. And in order to transition I want to go on Wikipedia here and read you the Wikipedia article about the film The African Queen A 1951 British adventure film adapted from the 1935 novel of the same name by C Forrester The film was directed by John Huston and produced by Sam Spiegel and John Wolfe. It stars Humphrey Bogart, who won Academy Award for Best Oscar. Her Best Actor, his only Oscar, and Katharine Hepburn. It currently holds a 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, a fresh rating. It was selected for preservation in the National Film Registry in 1994. And I am going to run through the plot here as we drift away. It starts with Samuel Sayre and his sister Rose in Germany, East Africa, at the beginning of WW1. in 1914. Their mail-in supplies are delivered by a small steam launch named the African Queen, helmed by rough-and-ready Canadian Captain Charlie Allnut, whose coarse behavior they tolerate in a stiff manner. Charlie warns them, you know, trouble's on the horizon, but the Sayers stay on. And then, you know, the WW-type stuff gets started. and other, you know, like stuff that impacts Rose. And her and Charlie get set off in the African Queen. Charlie says, hey, there's stuff in the river, other people, other boats, including the Queen Louise, you know, running around. and Rose comes up with a kind of a vision to deal with that. Charlie says, that's going to be really tough. There's rapids, there's forts, but Rose is insistent. And during their journey, they encounter many obstacles, just like a good movie. And, you know, once it starts off easy, then it gets tougher. they have to improvise then they go through a second thing it gets a little tougher but they make it and eventually they embrace just embrace but then they say hey what about life in a boat just the two of us and then there's more rapids and they say well this time the boat might be toast and they go to shore, they try to do some fixing and they do and then they like improvise again, Rose improvises, even a bellows but then they lose the channel and they're lost in a sprawling delta and they're stuck in the muck and no supplies low you know they're at the edge as they say and then the rains come and it rises the river up and they float away out of the muck and into the lake where they sneak around and Rose says hey let's look in that you know WW them back with these cylinders and there's more serious adventuring. And then they think, wait a second, we kind of like each other. And they say, well, where'd Rose go? And then they say, well, you, what about you, Charlie? Whose side are you on? And then Rose is back and then Charlie's in trouble. And she says, hey, Charlie, what's up, buddy? you remember that, like embracing the boats? But he wants to protect her, so he says, Hardy, rough, rough. But then Rose says, you know, I'm telling you everything. And then they say, well, why don't we get married then? Because let's do that. And then they say, well, why not? We do this kind of thing all the time. But then they realize that the African queen had tricked them and the plan was really like a double tricky poo and now that they're married they head off in love and I want you to head off drifting like a boat on a river which is much like a bird drifting in the air on the thermals in the sky or floating in the water as we drift deeper into another space. I guess my story about you is a bit different than the other attractions. For my borders grew over the years because my trees, or the trees that are a part of me, It's strange to be an outdoor attraction Almost entirely outdoors Because I guess I am different than a lot of the other attractions Not that there's not others like me But you see the trees that were within me Are a part of me Because I guess I'm not sure of that But I'm deeply connected to those trees and over the years those trees have gone under the earth and floated on the air and connected with other trees and grew other trees and also the vines and the mosses you see hanging from a lot of the trees here in the park those are part of me and because of that I can be in touch with them and I can observe through them so I had already been watching you with amusement, I might say, and curiosity. Maybe I'm a mirror because you seem to be full of the second one. Sometimes I would see amusement on you. But yes, I kind of grew across the park, though I never took on some big wig role that I speak for other attractions. Or that I speak for the park as a whole. And I'm not much of a gossip. That's what everybody thought. They say, well, tell me what's going on over at Science Central. And I said, well, it's not my thing. I'm just, you know, it is actually when you're a vine or a tree, people don't bother you with questions. No one knew until now. So I guess it doesn't matter now anyway. but I would watch you back at the World of Toys up in that tower, the tall, tall clock tower and how even after you left that attraction you would return to that tower and look out across the park, across the horizon and how you had created a little workshop at its base with your binoculars and your tools and your marker, you were keeping track of things and at first I was like she's just looking from the horizon for other people like her but I also began to notice you looking around the park with more and more detail and starting to gather things and I said she's on a you're looking for the caretaker I believe and I know you had a big pile of candy wrappers of that one bar they had in the park and named after the, I think it's synonymous with the squirrel character of the park, Nutso with a Z and that was the Nutso bar and you had been gathering wrappers you found around the park which were too fresh and I said she's on a case she's looking to find out who's leaving these nutso wrappers around and you had boot prints you had dug out of the mud and took with you I know you had read some, you know, you've been reading so many books that some of those books of mysteries and investigations had inspired you and I don't read so I was like, is she consider herself a fancy Nancy now but one time I opened my mouth, someone had a laugh at that. I said, well, I don't know who were the kid investigators. They said, G and DK are the most famous kid investigators. You had laid out what was clearly another presence there, the boots, the candy, muddy handprints on gardening things. even a couple of shirts and things and I said as a caretaker had gotten sloppy or what you'd gathered them over time and some were older than the others but that's all you had and you kept watching from your clock tower trying to find who was leaving these candy wrappers and these blue boot prints around And I understand that you had kind of started to grow and grow in age and maturity and knowledge. And you were no fool. You said, oh, someone else is here providing part of this for me. Someone else is helping take care of this park. Why haven't I seen them? Why haven't they reached out to me? Why haven't they contacted me at all? What is going on? and sometimes you would lose your frustration. Now, you'd never come to me, but that was mostly because I was very overgrown, and so you wouldn't even know. You'd say, is that a retention basin? Was that once, you know, I would skip over it. There was also the sinkhole that formed on our street in the land of adventure, so no one would go that way. it looked like that part of the park you'd have to go all the way around and even coming up the other side which I think something else was blocking the other side down there even coming up the other side the entire road in front of the path the walkway I guess they called it when the park was open is gone so there really was no way to go in as a guest would. And you were smart even as a young child. So as soon as you saw the sinkhole, you realized, oh, this is probably growing a little bit. No reason, plenty of other places to explore. And even getting the idea, oh, there's sinkholes in this area, but not in these other areas. Why should I be about in a sinkhole area unless I really need to? So you have to give it to you very much. It wasn't a hospital. I'm not a hospitable place. Full of life, though. Not the life you, well, we'll talk about that right now. But then I caught your attention, or I didn't exactly catch your attention, but you had become more and more adept at scanning the park and noticing things as you would have been in the case and been more and more frustrated with your lack of results, and you started to notice the activity of the birds above me. And when the birds, some birds lived in my trees, and the fact was when someone would disturb them, they would all fly up, or when someone would drop something for the birds to eat, they would all gather in circle and make a big fuss. and I think for a long time you just said, well, that's what birds do every once in a while. They fly out of their trees and they make a big to-do. Must be bird behavior. But something about it one day caught your attention and you started to just keep track of what the weather was like, what the time of day was that the birds were making a to-do. And I don't know if you noticed a pattern, but you noticed something. And then there was one time you were just sitting up there thinking and looking, not really scanning, you know, at ease. And you have to be looking my way at the lush trees and just barely be able to see through the dense canopy, little sparkles of water. But you weren't really studying me. It was like you were looking through me. I don't know what you were thinking about. because I was seeing you from a tree just across the way that was almost as high as the clock tower. But, you know, I couldn't just because I had access to the trees and the vines didn't mean I could read your mind. But then all of these birds just shot up, and it was sudden, and they were circling, and they were squawking, saying, hey, hey, hey. And I think you even noticed some bushes or some trees moving. and so you noted it and then you rushed down in a hurry but it took you quite a while to climb down the clock tower gather your things that you'd like to bring with you of course a light jacket always and a probing walking stick and you headed over and you realized oh yes the sinkhole's there that's the patch of green behind the sinkhole but then you set to it, you set to exploring and you probed the end of the sinkhole but the end of the sinkhole went all the way up against the side of some of the very well constructed small town USA for the main strip of shops and so then you climbed eventually over onto the roofs of those that you had been on before and you climbed back down and headed through some of the backstage areas. And eventually you found your way through a fence and you followed the side of the fence, very, very thick foliage into another fence. And that was slow going at first, but you stuck by the fence, which was smart because you could barely see very far. And this was just a fence separating the attraction from the backstage area So that the cast couldn't go messing around in my attraction And I think maybe the founder's grandchildren or something would sneak back there occasionally But you followed the fence all the way up into the edge of my attraction and actually what you didn't know is like of the boundaries of the park and there was you could see through one fence and you could see on the other side of the fence it had been landscaped this was not the fence, an internal park fence this was an internal park fence running into a fence to the outside and you could see to your right finally that that was cleared and to your left on the other side of the fence you were on that it was clear that someone was maintaining this fence on either side that all of the brush and all of the vines were constantly being taken off and then you could see the big canal, the big retention basin separating the boundaries of the park, actually. The guests would never see it because it looked moat-like. And then on the other side of that, yet another fence that was not as well maintained but was still maintained. And these were, you know, not fences for the guests to see, so they were painted dark colors and not very inviting. and you followed the boundary fence to the right and eventually, after not that long of walking, you know, there was a path, a clear path along the fence where the forest, the jungle, was kept at bay and eventually you reached the two canals that led into my attraction and your ears pricked right up and you could hear that there was pumps working the pumps bringing water in and pumping water back out and then you saw how that there was a bridge bringing water in from these large hills outside of the boundary still part of the larger property I don know why I explaining this all back to you but those hills were actually reservoirs of rainwater and that would bring fresh water back into my attraction when needed and pump the water out so that the water in my attraction the river I a river by the way is always slowly, slowly moving and you could also see the solar panels that were running the pumps and the toes were very clean. And this got your attention because anytime something's kept up in this spark here, in this way, it gets your attention. Obviously, your mind had become very, very, you were maintaining your mind like this fence and this equipment was being maintained. And you looked down at the canals and you noticed it was not just pumps but it was a system of locks to let things in and that there was even fencing down there. And then you noticed in the canal and the fencing was very tight because there was fish in the canal and that it was very fine, almost netting, to keep the fish or even the littler fish from swimming out. And that the nice thing was the water was so slow moving that even the smaller fish were not getting, it was no problem. So you said, hmm, this is interesting. And then you followed the fence around the entire attraction, moving clockwise around my boundary, which was slow going, you know, because it's just a few feet between the fence and the thick, thick jungle. and eventually you found your way to the loading and unloading area to the docks in some of the cast member areas and the building that would do the loading and the unloading which wasn't really in terrible shape. It hadn't been kept up but it had been made from composites and I think because of the use that the guests couldn't see The composites were on some concrete, and there was some concrete that it wasn't exactly, it wasn't a lot of dirt for me to, for growth to take hold there. And there wasn't really any wood. It was all concrete and composites and very well made. So you started going through the, and the interesting thing was, you know, this is preparing for a jungle adventure, a cruise down the jungle rivers. and so you started it was already set up like a camp and there was still some parts that weren't in terrible shape so you ended up bringing your bedroll in and then you would sleep in the loading area that was designed to look like a camp anyway and you would listen to the sounds which were very intense by me the bird sounds and the little cricket sounds and the sounds of bubbling and frogs fish jumping it was a nice place to sleep especially when you had those nets so you didn't have to worry about it and the water, we had no stagnant water here so it was a nice place to rest and then you started digging more through the cast member areas this was like a place that was very personalized my attraction you had to apply again to be there because each boat had a host on it that was there to tell their own jokes and things while they gave you this imaginary tour deep into the heart of the rivers as Conrad would say in different terms so you went through you started getting into the lockers which took some effort and that's where you found in one locker a photo album which you took back with you and you also found that one of the lockers had miscellaneous things for the gift shop and you found a book about my attraction so you got to look at what I looked like in my heyday and you would stay there at night and you had your little lamp it was like I'd become real in some sense and you were an adventurer just on the edge of my adventure waiting and reading and you know you didn't wait very long to do the adventuring but at night you know you'd be resting and reading and looking at the pictures of me and then looking through this photo album of a young woman and pictures of her with her family visiting her she was a boat captain but also you know doing family things and her growing up with her family you know just looking at all of her and her siblings and her happiness and times she didn't look so happy but during the day you were exploring the forests and the jungles around me within me that were me and you did start to find the paths of some well-worn paths and you followed them and some of them went to technical things like the pumps that ran the waterfalls, all the waterfalls within my attraction that were also powered by the sun and solar panels just put out of sight, but that they were regularly maintained to aerate the water. And even from the top of the waterfalls, you could see down into the water that was a part of me as well. And that because the water was moving and aerating, it seemed somewhat clean and clear depending on the day. So you could see that it was teeming with life, with fish, some spots of floating algae or floating plants. I don't know. You know, I know them, but only by their personality, which is, you know, they're kind of slow moving and chill. You could see things larger than fish that were swimming occasionally and saying hello to the fish, would you get in my belly? You know, modern dinos, I'd say we could call them, and you said, okay, I've got to keep an eye out for them. They don't look too friendly. And you started to explore more, and you noticed some of the paths as they headed towards the water. had wicker fences about three feet high on either side that you could easily step over. But you had determined, oh, that's to keep the dinos, the modern dinos, because they're very low in squat. They probably can't get over these fences. They'll just bump into them. So you thought that was interesting. And you followed those paths that went down to parts of the water. And you said, okay, this is where the fishing goes on. And you found equipment for both fishing with lines and of going in poles and things to get out baskets. You said, oh, that's an easy way to get the fish in these baskets. And, you know, you said, okay, you even found a bigger boom with the net. and that took you a while to figure out but you realize that that was a place where those modern dinos gathered a little bit deeper of a pool where there was fish that would go down deeper and they would go visit the fish and you could tell this boom and pole and net was used you said oh this is used for these dinos and you started to think about how you probably had, they had been in your belly possibly. And even some of the birds you realized that you were in a lush area. He said, oh, okay, this is, and you kind of appreciated it. He said, I felt like that, that you said, oh, you are giving me life, you are providing me life, but someone is maintaining this. so that it is able to do so. Someone is enabling it to be somewhat wild, but not totally gone wild. And then you would wait. You would read at night, but you would guard your bed closer to the big open windows looking out at the attraction. And you would wait. Sometimes you waited at the paths, and sometimes you waited up in the second floor of the queue, looking and listening. And sometimes you would hear the birds stir and you would run down, but you never saw anyone. And eventually you started finding the occasional candy wrapper. And you started to get a bit frustrated, I think, a bit frustrated that you were close, but you still hadn't seen another person, the caretaker. And this whole time you'd also been kind of influenced by the book you were reading, Looking at My Attraction, and you started to find the places where the manufactured parts of my attraction, but you started to remake them with pictures from the girls' photo album, kind of. Like you took the giant butterfly section and you did find some of the wires that had made up the giant butterflies, but most of the plastics and other things had fallen off or deteriorated. But you made do with some clothing, and you made the butterflies look like they had wings. But then you took a log about your size, and you designed it like a young woman, And you'd found a uniform And you put the uniform on the log And a safari hat on the head And you made an arm pointing at the butterflies And you gave her some hair Like the long blonde hair of the girl in the picture And you put a smile on her face Like she was talking a joke about the butterflies Like what do you call it When breakfast, I don't know When you make breakfast, a toast has wings. Butterflies. I don't know. I don't remember any of the jokes they used to tell, I guess. And then you, like, made sure the falls were clear because you knew there was a lot of jokes about the falls. There was a welcoming party of, you know, these jokes, I don't think, I'm surprised they still stood up. They said, well, you're not really welcoming. in our forest or jungle. Keep your boat moving. So you kind of designed them in a simple way, and they were blowing spitballs through spitball shooters. But again, you took another log and you designed the girl. Instead of being on the boats, because all my boats were gone, I don't know what had happened to them. I mean I know there was a few sunk Right at the boat repair area But they weren't ever getting But anyway so you Designed her And making another joke About the welcoming party And the spitballs And you even put a spitball on her face And her frowning Half frown half smile It really captured The girl from the pictures Even though you were working in Logs and sticks and garbage and different things you could use and then uniforms. It was beautiful. And then there was a camp that had been taken over by forest friends, and they'd kicked out the adventurers, and they were using all the adventurers' things. And that took you a long time to get back up, which at that one you didn't even bother. You made it, you took a picture from her camping trip with her family, and you put them all in the tent playing a game, four logs, you know, a young woman, a boy, and then a mother and a father playing a board game in an open tent, and you really put a lot of work into that, and again, I was like stunned, and you were careful about all of the dinos and everything. You know, these were areas that weren't super accessible to them anyway. And then on the second falls where they make a joke that I never even understood, you actually found a rock and you put a log on there pointing to the falls saying back in water's butt or something. This is the butt of a water joke. Don't be the butt of a joke about water And you put her in a uniform Pointing at it And that one was almost like a hidden I don't know if you would notice it And you did have to Climb up a waterfall and go back down But you stayed out of the river Which I was glad about And thus far you had avoided the river water Because of those dinos And then there was the temple and again you put one from our family and that was actually a trip of them visiting Thailand and you did a picture of them and you made it like they were in Thailand on a family trip there in a temple taking time to show reverence for the statue within this temple and all that was old, you know, that was all crafted concrete or something. So that was all. And then, you know, you put the logs in there. And instead of the end of the ride with the different things, you just did another family scene of her giving. It was just beautiful in the photo album I saw, which we were looking at her getting a special token from the visit for each of her family members from the park. And then one last one of her Waving goodbye to all the guests Instead of the old Trophy things I guess we had And the attraction Maybe we'll pass the prime And I guess I didn't quite get it Until afterwards That you weren't just doing this for yourself For just expression Like when you express yourself internally I guess you're expressing yourself externally. And so that's what you were doing. And you were trying to get a message out there maybe or have someone relate to how you were feeling. But no one, I guess, I didn't realize it. I don't think there was anything I could have done other than appreciate it a little bit more. But you sat and waited, still hoping to find whoever had been coming and servicing things and getting fish. They didn't come, and you wanted to see if they were going to come and look at your work. Then it rained, and you were even staying during the rain because you had saw that a thing to catch the dino had been set up, that they must have been out of belly dino. and so you slept in a tree overlooking that and it rained for days and you were miserably cold and wet and just sitting there trying to sleep in a tree or hugging it and then eventually you woke up and that was when the weather broke and the sun came out and you seemed a bit perturbed and you actually remembered, and this was long, no details needed, but there was a canoe that was a prop, another traction you had been in. And you had checked it and you said, this is a real canoe. It's not glued or anything. And so you went all the way back to that traction and brought the canoe back, and it was heavy and unwieldy. fieldy. You were very strong. Even with your strength, it took a full, full long day and you were exhausted. But you got that canoe in the water and you had two paddles. And then I said, oh no, this is not a good idea. And not only that, you weren't just, you grabbed a long stick in the paddles and you started pushing over the logs that you had taken so much time to design. pushing them in the water where their hair and their smiles fell off and their uniforms sunk to the bottom. And, you know, the ones that were on the shore just pushing them over with a stick and then splashing the dino friends, which they didn't take, you know, they were confused. They said, who is it? What is going on here? But they also gave you that look. They said, what is she doing? She says, too foolish. And you were so stubborn that you decided to sleep one night in the canoe. Which I said, well, that's not a terrible idea, except for the fact, uh, with your arms crossed and a full moon lying And I said well you could lie there And the canoe just slowly moved until it was up against the fence where the water exited So by the time you fell asleep, you would just drift it against the fence in a nice, safe, restful place. And then you awoke again, and you paddled back, And then you seemed to really, even that fire in you was just, it had been stirred, stirred up. And you saw that the thing for the dinos, it's still not, they hadn't, none of the dinos had swam into it. We saw there was bells on there. And you got out and I said, at first I thought you were going to ruin it. I said, what is she, what is she doing? And at first you were like struggling with it. And then an idea must have clicked in your head. And you undid it so that it wouldn't catch a dino. But you left it looking like it would. You got rid of whatever they had put in there, extra dino food. And then you ran off and you searched and searched the park. And you searched the lockers of other attractions even. until you found a nutso bar. And then you ran back with, actually, I think you had a few stuffed in your pockets. And then I couldn't really see what you were doing, but you detached some of the bells, what are the bells, is that what they're called, that were on there to say, oh, we caught a dino. And you said something of your own. I said, what is she doing here? Is she trying to catch her own dino? But why would you try to? It didn't look like you were going to use a nutso bar to catch your own dino. But on land instead of water. And they're heavy. And I said, that's why the boom and the pole are there with the pulley. Because that makes it easy to lift it out of the water and swing it over and send it to the big dino park in the sky. eventually to your bellies. So then you set all that up, and you headed off actually to your bed, and then you just stubbornly stayed in your room until one night you heard the jingle, jingling of the bells, and you raced off, and as you got closer and you heard the jingling, jingling, you said, okay. and before you went down that path you paused because you wondered what is in what have I got myself a dino at first I said is she wondering if she got herself a dino and how she's going to deal with it but now I realize it was a culmination of something that you had been waiting for and that you were probably both incredibly excited and a little bit nervous to meet someone for the first time. And what you had anticipated, I don't really know. So you paused and even heard some sounds that you would make, like rum-type sounds. And you said, okay, I don't think this is a dino up there. And then you slowly moved and you saw, and this was only a half moon. So you could see that I didn't realize you had made your own nets. I thought it was nice you used just tons and tons of mosquito netting so that no one would get to get you. You said, oh, that's a really good way for a person. And you could see here the crinkling of the nutso bar wrapper and you saw someone in there. and they were there, and then you were wondering what you were going to do, I guess. He said, uh-huh, uh-huh. But you untied the, he said, where did she learn to do this books? But you settled the, you eventually settled, you released it and settled the net down, and the person in there would need some help, and you approached so slowly, and you made some soothing sounds, but also some quivering sounds, not believing that you were going to meet the caretaker that had been. I'm sure you had some mixed feelings before and after, but at this moment it was kind of an awe-like feeling as you slowly approached, and the net was still tied at the top, uh, the way you had made it, uh, so they couldn't get, uh, get out without your help. And then I wondered if you wondered, what, who, what does this caretaker look like? If you had an image in your mind, uh, uh, and you padded the package, uh, and made this, it's okay type sound and then they stopped struggling and you unknoted it and you opened it up and looking up at you was not what you expected, not an old grizzled man, I guess that's what you expected and that's what was on a lot of the rides and I could tell then that you were very surprised for this wasn't a man but a boy a boy younger than you tall and lanky but not as tall as you holding in his hand a nutsobar and kind of staring at you again I guess because of the times and the circumstances wasn't more so much fear There was, I don't know if there's a word here, even in my jungle ride, about it. Not curiosity, but he looked at you in a way, I guess maybe if there was a UFO to land, you'd say, what is, but at the same time with a knowing awareness of your presence and that you weren't what he expected to see. and then for the first time you spoke words to another person. The first time, I guess it was monumental for me to be there, to another person, you said, hello, hi, and you reached out both palms, and then you reached out one palm like a handshaker that you had seen and learned about at your time in the park, and you smiled and you pointed at the nutso bar and you reached into your pocket and pulled out another one now this boy was not a his action was slow and deliberate too not feral and grabbing and not hostile at all more of a comfortable interest and he nodded and then grunted a few times and held his up and then pointed his nutsobar at yours and nodded again. And then instead of making a grunting sound, made a sound like, and he started to eat his nutsobar and indicated that you ate your nuts a bar. And then the two of you walked back to your place, to the loading and unloading area where you made your camp. You showed him your room. and he still didn't communicate or speak back to you other than with sounds. So he made a symbol about sleeping and you pointed to it and he nodded. And it was a bit confusing. You made him get in your bed and sleep there and then you slept at the side of the bed with the secondary bedroll you had and for colder nights. And you both slept so soundly in each other's presence so deeply. As the half moon set and the night grew darker and my sounds grew more comforting and both of you breathed. I think both of you stayed awake for a little while wondering, wondering what all this meant, this connection, who was this other person. But you knew that this wasn't something to be overly concerned about, just to be interested in. You listened to the sounds of the night, and they carried you into a deep, deep sleep. Good night. All right, but this is Scoots with a talk you in message at the end of the shows we do. And this is going to ask questions because since April of 2025, we've been trying to look at, like, I don't know. What I'm doing is not working, so I'm trying to change what I'm doing, I guess. So I've been trying to get some questions together And you could answer these questions Or not You don't need to Or these ones are kind of just Hey, if you just happen to be listening in But I'm here to listen to those answers And you could answer those if you happen to want to tomorrow Or even tonight at SleepinMePodcast.com So yeah And this will help me understand, especially people that listen, have been listening longer than six months, have been listening longer than a year. They've been listening longer than three years. People that listen most nights or listen all night long or fall asleep fast or even listening so long that everything kind of blends together. I don't even know how long I've been listening. So one question would be like When you press play Sleep with me at bedtime What's something you hope doesn't happen Like I don't know if it's like You know that you don't You know it doesn't start you thinking about more Or that the night doesn't feel as long Or that you don't feel alone Or the physical sensations you don't feel Or the thoughts or the feelings you don't come up. Or it could be something else. I mean, something more specific, you know. But maybe it's not. Maybe there's just not words for it. And what does Sleep With Me replace for you? Like, what did you used to use? Or what does it fill in? Does it fill in silence in the room? Like a TV that used to be on or something, a show you used to stream? Does the show Sleep With Me replace your thoughts, like a train of thoughts you got to go on a ride with? Does it replace, I don't know, something that helps you rest? And then I guess I'm curious, if you do hear the requests for support and the kind of varying degrees of feeling I have when I'm making those messages, right? And then maybe they kind of slide by or slip past you. Yeah, I want to know more about that. So when you do hear those messages, if you do, like what thoughts or feelings come up? Is it something like, I'll do this later? or someone else probably has it covered or you don't need my support or I don't want to think about that right now, doing something or paying for something or taking any steps or is it like, that's just not for me. I'm not a person that supports podcasts or that doesn't sound like something I want to do or need to do. So, okay, and then if you are one of those people that says, yeah, I'll do it later, like what does later mean for you, right? Is it like later, and this is one that comes up in my personal life, there'll be a better time in my life later for this. Like my life will be more calm or I'll be more, these are my words that I use for internally, not for you, but I'll be more emotionally able to handle that later. or I'll remember later or maybe I'll be sleeping better and I won't need to do it later. Maybe my life will be less full later. And then another question is like, if you've ever looked at Join and Sleep With Me Plus and thought like, I don't need more or the free show always works for me. So what else would I need? I'm curious about that Like what the more might be Does it sound like more work or more effort? Like does it sound like you'd have to do something Or manage something new? Does it sound like a change to a routine That's already kind of working That you don't want to mess up? Because I can't keep doing Like I've got to change around the messaging around the show Even if it doesn't end up working out Because it's just I want to be closer to the listeners I have And I don't want to spend so much time and energy Keeping the show going Or with my concerns around that that it makes it impossible to make the show anyway almost. It's kind of gotten to this point where it's like a conundrum, I guess. So I want to move to getting to know things better and then trying to produce things in a different way. I don't know if a more holistic way is the right way to say it. So yeah, that's what kind of those questions are about, is me kind of understanding more, listening. and most of the questions will have open-ended answers too so if you want to do that you can feel like I got a survey it doesn't I don't know if it has all those questions on there but sleepingpodcast.com slash listen or if this kind of pushed you over that you know you could always support the show at sleepingpodcast.com slash plus but I think it'll say that at listen anyway And again, there's no rush or requirements. It's just, yeah, this way of like, I want to keep making this podcast, ideally for a long, long time in the future. And most of our funding comes through like 80% of the way we pay our bills is by listener support. But I want people to feel welcome, right? And it's kind of gotten to this point where it's like, I'm so concerned. I think I already said, though, it's like I'm so concerned with keeping the show going. It's almost making it possible to keep it going and maybe pushing people away, which I don't want to do. Because, again, my goal this year is not just to keep the podcast sustainable. It's to bring sleepy joy and delight. So I'm hoping I could do both those things together somehow. So I'm hoping, yeah, some of this idea of listening and getting to know. And if you are, the thing is, and it's also no pressure, like if you can't support the show or you decided when we did it last year, you were like in the group of listeners like, no, I don't want to support the show ever. That's great because we like it's the people that I've never heard from. Right. And I'm trying to get to understand better this time. Who are like in a position where they could support the show. And it's just like, I don't know. So anyway, thanks so much for listening. And if you're a new or occasional listener or you already decided not to support the show, you're not in a position to support the show. Thanks, because you're taken care of. And I think probably me getting through this phase of the show will positively impact your show. Because I know when I'm really feeling it, like I'm really like, you know what I mean? You could hear it in the tone of my voice on some of those reads. And I don't know, I'm trying to find a better way to move forward with the show. And I guess I apologize when it's like, I don't know, everything's kind of intertwined. So I wish there was an easier, perfect way to do all this. So I guess I'm going to try this way and see how it goes. Thanks.