Welcome to Stay On Course with me, Julie Riga. My life has been a roller coaster of highs and lows, but what I know to be true is that when we are grounded in our purpose and savor the sweet moments of life, we are truly a success. Today, you are going to get the ingredients for success because life is salty and life is sweet. Together, let's explore the possibilities of our own lives. and learn from thought leaders around the globe. Ready guys? Let's cook it. You were thriving on your own until leading others became your new reality. I'm Julie Riga, and I created Before I Lead for high achievers like you, CEOs, new leaders, and side hustlers who've hit that uncomfortable space from doing it all to having to lead it all. It's not just a skill gap. It's an identity shift. You're overwhelmed. You're doubting. You're stuck between growth and burnout. Let's change that. Join me at beforeilead.com or visit julieriga.com because it's time to stop surviving the shift and start owning it. Welcome, welcome everybody to the next edition of the Stand Course Podcast. Today I have Dr. Lori Smith, a DBA trained government contracting expert, serial entrepreneur, and founder of multiple ventures dedicating to helping women, minority, and veteran-owned small businesses win government work and build generational wealth. over a 40-year career. She's mentored and advised over 11,000 small businesses, contributing to multi-million dollar contracting, and serving in leadership roles such as the co-lead for the Georgia Women Veterans Board for the Leadership Pillar, and advisor to the North Georgia Women in Leadership Program. And today we're going to be talking about ingredients for success for showing up as your authentic best self and what that really means. Dr. Lori, welcome to the Stand Course Podcast. So happy to have you here today. Well, thank you so much. I am so excited to be here, Julie. So thank you for the invite. Amazing. Before we get started, Dr. Lori, I ask all of my guests, what is your favorite food? You know, I'm a veggie girl. So I love veggies. And so when my mother was with me, because she's transitioned in 2018, I love eating her lima beans. I love eating her green beans. And I love eating her collars, of course. You know, I'm a veggie girl. So I do like most veggies. Other than that, you know, I never got caught up with the favorite, favorite kind of food kind of thing. All right. Well, veggies are good. Eat your veggies, everyone. Eat those. Exactly. Amazing. Amazing. So authentic best self we're talking about today. Why is this so important for you? And where did this line of teaching come from? Well, it's important, namely because there are so many folks that tend to present themselves as something other than what they are. even from capabilities. And that goes into, in the government contracting space, we will present in paper the idea of what we think someone wants as a result of what's been asked on a contract. But when I get you in the door, you can't perform as you said. So when we're talking about being our authentic self, it is very important that we actually show up with that level of radical self-honesty where we're being who we are 24-7. And I'm grateful and even humbled that there are people that will literally tell you, okay, Lori hasn't changed much. Okay, someone says, oh, what, Lori Smith did this or Lori Washington, because that was my maiden name. This is what she was about. Straight, no nonsense, matter of fact kind of person, but with caring, honest things of that nature. Okay, yeah, that's true about Lori. Contractors knew that was true about Lori. So when we show up, it's this thing about trust. And then this day and age, if I can't trust who you say you are, why should I trust anything you articulated or communicated to me as a transformation or something that's going to help me? So it's just very important that we just show up who we say we are every day. all the time. Yeah. I think there's two things you were talking about there too. It's like, Hey, is this person that I hired really the person that I hired? And there's all these like lines of thoughts around, around fake until you make it, you know, you've heard that before. Yes. And so I think that's really interesting because that is one scenario, you know, you, you're showing up and you're hiring somebody and like you realize that you didn't hire the right person but they tried to be that person that is really hard because then after that you've lost all trust with that specific person that you hire because they like lied in the interview and and look that has happened and what i did and would do customarily as a manager i'm going to review everyone's resumes. And then I'm going to observe, you know, what your capabilities or your performance is. And my staff would tell you how to, when I was at the VA, when I got there, I brought everybody in the room and I was like, okay, you know, maybe we missed some call-ins because everyone is an author. Great with creative writing, but don't worry. I always believe in literally legitimate teamwork. Because again, if we are working collectively for the same goals, same aspiration, same mission. Let's do it as a team. And so no one's failed. So you can come to me and there are people who are witnesses and they'll tell you, hey, I came to Ms. Lori after years in a particular craft under this perception. But once I got in her leadership, there was a transformation. And you give people that grace and space to facilitate the change. So it's like, okay, you are not necessarily who you is indicated you were in a resume, but you do have the ability to change and to get there. And maybe that's because no one gave you that information or whatever resource you needed to fill those gaps. So how do I lift you up? How do I build you? How do I elevate you? And we have to be honest enough to one, acknowledge that and then to be in a position to facilitate that person's development when able. Everyone won't receive it. And so when they don't receive what you offer to help them, you know, that's when I would otherwise help them find a more meaningful opportunity someplace else. You know because I not going to work and labor with you forever you know but those who are receptive yes let build together Let grow together and let me do whatever I can do to help you because the goal for management should always be I developing you to replace me Yeah. And so that's the mindset. That is what I'm going to go in regardless of what someone else didn't do before they got there. But it is very important that whether it's personal with friends and family and colleagues or just day to day in a professional setting outside of professional setting, we really got to start showing up from that honest place and being who we say we are all the time. you know, I like this. Okay. So that was the, the version of the, you know, on the side of interviewing, right. I want to talk about the radical self-honesty about your energy and your values and your boundaries. I think this is really important is I work with people all the time on who they are and how they're showing up. And when you are not showing up as you, you're showing up as let's say the lower level version of you like the let's say you're showing up as the the the version of you that's not stepping into your power that is a level of dishonesty yes when you're showing up as somebody that is not walking in your power now you're showing up wounded okay you're showing up as the victim version of yourself and we think that that's like the one we should be showing up as. But in essence, you're not giving me your best. You're not, you're literally not giving me your best self and your value is diminished because you're telling yourself a story that you're not good enough and you're showing up not good enough. And so that is not being honest with who you really are. Yes. And you know, there are folks that do show up that way. What I will say, and especially for veterans, people in the military, we have been cultivated, trained, you know, encouraged to push through it. So more often than not, you know, and I'm not going to say all of us even master that level of perfection, because it is a level of perfection you master when you can still lead while you are still bleeding, when you can still leave while you're still needing to heal. That's a level of profession that people push through and you get an energy that may not be marrying the physical capacity of a person, but it becomes something we become accustomed to and acquainted with, right? So yes, Lori is the go-to girl. Oh, I need a problem solved. She's the problem solver because I'm always going to give you that energy. Nevertheless, behind closed doors, Lori can barely move because of physical ailments. You know, no one sees sometimes what it takes to operate at the level of energy that's required to always be at your best self. Yeah. And, but by the grace of God, I mean, this is stuff I live. So God has carried me through, but by his grace. But I mean, I have worked, you know, literally nonstop. We hours in the morning, you would get a two or three or four o'clock email from me. And there'd be those that said, oh, you know, that's ineffective management. No, that's, I had a mission. I had a goal. I had a project that impacted the lives of 9 million people. i'm not sleeping until we do what we need to do in order to service them right so it's a level of servitude that's really on a different level so i always made it a point to maximum extent to my ability to not show up without the energy that i needed to show up with yeah right how i was feeling despite how you're feeling sometimes uh people will have low energy and they will yeah they'll go back to that I'm the victim kind of person uh showing up with less than and sometimes you just got to call them out on you know well Dr. Lori I wasn't thinking about people with physical disabilities or physical pain you know I was just thinking just the regular person but you know that when you talk about veterans I mean that's a whole different category of experience and different kinds of trauma that has happened to their bodies, to their mind. I was just on the phone with somebody who works with first responders and it's a whole different... Similar thing. Yeah, it's a whole... Well, I'm thinking of the corporate executive, the small business owner, right? But when you go into people that are dealing in first responders or things like that, That's a different, it's almost like a different landscape, I think. Yeah. But some of those people are the ones who are becoming entrepreneurs, right? And going into business right now. But even as entrepreneurs, even as everyday people showing up to work, when you show up without the proper amount of energy, it impacts what that organization or that business has to do. Someone is going to have to carry that person that's not showing up whole, right? Yeah. So it becomes this thing, whereas then at some point, who's the honest broker on the floor that's going to call that person out? Because that's what we have to get honest about, holding people accountable. And so accountability becomes that conversation we don't often want to talk about. But it's like, hey, how long do we allow this to go on? But people do show up without the energy they need. They want to drag everyone else down. And now what you do in a work environment, you create conflict, right? Because this person is perceived as getting away without pulling their fair share. But every two weeks, we all get in that check. Yeah. What's the next ingredient we want to talk about, Dr. Laurie? Well, what about consistent micro habits, right? So this is something that is really new for me. I'm purposefully compelling myself to get into a regular sleep habit. Because again, always working, always pushing, you know, from a transitional perspective, I think up until recently, mentally, I transitioned my military mindset of service working 24-7 into my federal service career. And even from a transitional perspective into my entrepreneurship thing, yes, entrepreneurs, you know, you have to do that 24-7 thing until you get where you want to be or desire to be. COVID didn't sort of help you because you're bored. So now you replace boredom with work. but I'm getting into consistent micro habits. So what are those things that we can consistently do that heals and help ourselves? And then I'm consistently having to move because again, I have physical ailments and we have to be mindful of that Movement helps with that Am I hurting when I do it Yes but I purposely have to do it Whether it walking through the house a little bit more occasionally going up the stairs because I do try not to do that too often, or just getting out and enjoying the day. You know, some of those things, we got to start bringing those as habits back into our lives because they're not niceties. They shouldn't be niceties. You know, that's a nicety for me to do. No, let's integrate it. You know, we integrate it as a component of our lives. now we're feeling better, right? About ourselves. Yeah. Amazing. I think, you know, having those micro habits and staying true to them is the hardest part. Cause I have this like thing that I want to be walking more. And then I look at my alarm clock and I'm like, Hmm, do I really want to wake up a half hour earlier? And then I realized today that somebody said they wake up at four 30 in the morning and I've been waking up to be honest, like authenticity, I'm waking up at like seven or seven 30 and that's late. That's already late. You know, in my old world, when I was working in corporate, I would be waking up at six, you know, but now I have a little more flexibility, but there's no reason that I can't wake up for seven, take a half hour walk and start my day at seven 30. And also too, and that's the way we need to start thinking about it, right? is not making the movement an extra or added part of the day why can't it be integrated into the calendar you know i go back to when we were in the military you know pt running during lunch or whatever that was part of the calendar part of you know so it was like part of your day starting so it wasn't it was scheduled so i was like okay we can do a casual walk we walk around the perimeter during lunchtime, you know, okay. You know, even a civilian, you know, we'll walk around the, you know, the parking lot, you know, you do those things. And so we, uh, it's, you know, it's a reframing on the mindset and I'm telling you, I just, I'm getting there, but it's something I have to purposefully, uh, think about and focus on because I control my day now. That's right. That's right. You're the author. I have a program. I actually have a program called author my day. Hey, okay. So you are the author of your day, Julie. Get on up, girl, and walk when you want to walk. You are the author of your day. Yes, exactly. I do want to walk at seven o'clock. In my mind, I want to walk because you know what it does? The movement helps the whole day. Oh, absolutely. You get out of the bed and you need that blood flowing, you know, circulation and all that stuff. Anytime that I can get up and take a walk, I'm going to do it. I'm going to take those mocks because it's so important. And especially as we sit at our desk for so long, it's really important for us to get up. So, and Hey, while we're walking, let's do some reflection. So it's like, we're killing two birds with one stone. Right. And so I just think that holistic wellness, it has to be integrated and thought about more as a, for women and others as well, but specifically for women, we have got to start integrating that and making time for that, because that's about making sure we are still whole. We are still here. We are able to be, you know, it's like, we're always putting everyone else in front of ourselves. So, Hey, no, this is a time for me to think about my health, you know, not getting on the, oh, self care and all that, you know, track of things in that nature, but it's like, Hey, take care of yourself, put your care in front of the head of some things or integrated in what it is that you're doing. Because what that does is help us with making sure our alignment, again, as a whole is intact. You know, if my body feel good, my mind is clearer. You know, if I do some reflections, again, I thought about the things that are important to me and now maybe to focus a bit more. So it helps with that alignment. So those are little micro habits and different things I think we can do to just help us stay aligned with who we are completely, you know, complete the circle. Absolutely. What else do we want to look at? Oh, and then also courageous connections. You know, I think there is something to be said. And again this is something i'm learning these little habits these are things that i had to go dust off and put in operation for myself and when we talk about courageous connections is really about not being afraid to ask for help you know sometimes we are afraid to ask for help because again someone that showed up with the wrong kind of energy you know so it's like okay that's who you are someone has shown up with uh oh i can't trust who you are you're not operating honesty because here you're this here and the sooner you came off stage or look i saw you in the restroom or saw you in the hallway and saw a form of you that was not otherwise authentic so it's like okay i'm not going to ask you for help and women we also are so accustomed to caring and so much you know we forget that you know we need it but it's okay to ask for help and that's what i'm learning to do Because as you give help, and more often than not, we're giving more help than we potentially are receiving. But my hope is that no one stop. You know, be who you are. I often tell people my natural and spiritual gifts are the gifts of help, hospitality, and service. And so because of that, I am naturally going to be in a position of servitude. and being mindful that what I reap from that is so much more than any kind of revenue or anything of that nature. It's just abundance overall, collectively in every aspect of my life. And so, and I'm doing it from an authentic place. And because of that, you know, you'll get what you desire, but we have got to know that it is okay to ask for help. Yeah, I love that. And I think that like, when I hear courageous connection, I'm also thinking about like that. That's like courageous connection is for me. And I know that you're talking about this around help. But when I hear that, I think, you know, you being able to show up as your highest and best self. Oh, yes. You know, like that's courage. That's courage for you to show up unfiltered, you know, in a good way, unfiltered. not in a bad way unfiltered it's like we could be unfiltered in a bad way and unfiltered is our highest and best self right and i think like i i think i want to talk more about that in my podcast is like how do you become your highest and best self and that is starting to think nice thoughts about yourself and the worthiness story that you are worthy of connection and belonging you are worthy you are worthy to ask for help you are worthy to show up as your best version of yourself not your not your worst version of yourself because in in doing so in showing up as a lesser version of yourself to like, you know, whatever, there's all different reasons you're going to do that. But one reason could be because you don't want to offend anybody. Yeah. That's, that's a reason. Yeah. And that shouldn't be something we think about. Right. But then also to another part of being courageous connections is also hanging around those people and connecting with that group of people that enables and facilitate your being able to be lifted up higher. So you want to be able to, you know, be your authentic self, become unfiltered. There's a protected class, a group of people that will facilitate that, encourage that again in a good and positive way. So, you know, back in the day when we were young kids, you know, our parents used to tell us, be careful of the company you keep. Yeah. That's the same thing we have to be mindful of in business, in personal lives. you know we always that's it that doesn't go away it just it's presented in different ways in different capacities but courageous connections aside from asking for help you know giving help you know is also connecting with that group of people who's going to be the ones that's going to elevate you and lift you up and mean it when they do it yeah you know because again all groups are not created equal. All the flips are not, you know, you know, someone is like, look, we're going to get them up high. Then we're going to, our knees are going to buckle. We're going to make a fall. You know, you never know, but you got to be courageous. And that becomes, you know, tapping into your discernment. Who do I need to connect with? Who do I need to, and being strategic about it as well. I can meet anyone, you know, I'm just friendly girl from the South, you know no big deal you know but when I mean I'm also observant through my life through my career you know I know who I could put in my bosom I know who not to put in my bosom you know I'm mindful that I can have you in my bosom for a day and you would do something because then your intent could be revealed and okay you can't be in my bosom no more I'm not going to disrespect you you don't, there's no fanfare, there's nothing chaotic, no, it's just a, hey, our paths are not aligned. And it's okay, too, for us to know that sometimes we can get emotional about a connection without reflecting on the connection we're trying to make. And when we get so caught up in our emotions, our emotions can lead us to bad connections. But it's okay to stop and redirect and self-correct you know and there's a graceful way to do it just hey just move on yeah yeah i think you know it's it's a very interesting topic and connecting with the right people and spending your time in the right places mean everything dr lori tell me about what you're working on right now what's exciting in your life oh there are so many exciting things in my life Since you and I last talked a month or so ago, I launched my podcast, GovCon Clarity with Dr. Lori Smith. It is out on Buzzsprout and Spotify, I think iTunes. It'll be up out on iHeart here real soon, but major platforms, you can find it. And you can also find it on my YouTube TV channel. So I have launched my podcast. within the next 90 days, I will be launching the readiness room, which is just going to be the GovCon room and membership place everybody want to hang out because it's not just going to be relegated to GovCon topics. You know, it's talking about that, but again, it's about wholeness. So as a young entrepreneur, what do you need to hold? So it's like making sure you have access to content, information, and data that's going to facilitate your growth as a young business startup, even if you never do government contract, right? My book, Rising Beyond the Shadows, should be releasing here in May. So I am very excited about that because it's a story about me, you know, and my growth, my development, and my trajectory going through life. So I'm really excited about that as well. And I continue and planning now for this ONRC's empowerment conversions that'll be coming up in October. So we are positioning everything to start a marketing marketing campaign for it. And so it's always a wonderful time. It's creating a safe, intimate space for small businesses to come and just, again, fill the gaps. yep awesome with religion information well Dr. Lurie this has been an amazing conversation where can our audience find out more about what you're doing you can follow me on LinkedIn I'm out there on LinkedIn I'm also on Facebook I have an archaeologist federal contracting coach mentor page also have a SorenRC's empowerment page out there on Facebook that you can follow me find me on but LinkedIn is predominantly where I hang out at and so just reach out, connect. All right. Thank you so much for being a guest on the Stan course podcast. Well, thank you so much for having me, Julie. And I really have enjoyed this talk. Thank you. Thank you. My dad, Annie Arrigo was not just a chef. He was my hero from the hardships of World War II to the heights of culinary excellence. His story is nothing short of remarkable. now this story lives on in stay on course a book that is very close to my heart it's filled with his own words his recipes and the wisdom he imparted to me just imagine four months before he passed he handed me his life story urging me to finish it in these pages you'll discover the secrets behind mouth-watering dishes and the lessons he taught me about leadership and perseverance. And trust me, there are some incredible tales in here, like the time he pulled off a birthday bash for Frank Sinatra with just 48 hours notice. So if you're hungry for inspiration and craving a taste of Ennio's legacy, go to julieriga.com. That's www.julieriga.com. Thank you for listening to another episode of Stay On Course. Please don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast so Julie can continue serving up delectable experts and appetizing content directly to your earbuds. And remember, right now you have the ingredients to be living the life you are meant to live. This has been a production of Stay On Course Studios. That's stayoncourse.studio.
