Fiasco! (Part One)

Hello and welcome to Worlds Beyond Number plays Fiasco! Woo! I'm Brennan Lee Mulligan. We're recording this at Dynasty typewriter here in Los Angeles, California. We couldn't be more excited to bring this video actual play to life. Thank you so much. And if you're checking us out for the first time, go on head over to the fireside our Patreon. Today we are playing the Fiasco play set that is called Dragon Slayers by Logan Bonner. Thank you so much for this beautiful guidance in how to play this game that we have promptly made a mess of. But our policy is same. Sorry. We're playing an adventuring party here in Fiasco today and I'm playing Arkarn Blimp. He's a dwarven adventurer. He's old as dirt. No, I'm going to cut you off. Bark? Bark Harblin. Harblin. B-A-R-C-K. Oh. Got it! B-A-R-C-K. Harblin, H-A-R-M-B-L-I-N-B. It's like an attack on me every time. The Bark Harblin is a... He's a dwarven adventurer. He's a Root and Tutan straight shooter. He's got an axe on his back, hammering his hand, and an axe in his head. And I'll tell you what folks, he couldn't be more delighted to be 485 years old and he couldn't be more delighted to be here with... The love of his life has promised and be trodded a little bit of a May December. Or, uh, honestly, might be made New Year's Eve. I'm old as hell. Um, but folks, uh, where are we talking about? I'm getting married to this little lady I couldn't be more excited. My friend and yours being played by Mr. Lou Wilson. Hey, what's up? I'm playing... My name's Lou Wilson. You know, me, you love me. I'm playing Bark Harblin's arranged wife. Yes, that's right. We're in a arranged marriage, which we love. Um, my name is Leaf Harblin. I'm 175 years young. I am a pronounci her. I am a dwarf, because that is what we are. Wait, wait, wait, do you take his name already? Yes, very much so. Well, we've been arranged to be married for over a decade. So I should engage. Yes, let's get everyone used to me, the lady Harblin. You know, you got more in custom. Why the... I'm marrying someone with a different last name, disgusting. Um, I am a novice adventurer with several fewer extras than my, uh, to be husband. I have one simple handaxe that I carry at my side. Um, I'm also in charge of the Polymorph Toad. I'm also in charge of the Polymorph Toad that was one of Bark's former allies. Um, uh, I think that's everything you need to know about me before you learn a lot about me. So I'll introduce the person to my right if we were, if that was possible. Uh, the one, the only. Erica Ishii, who did kill my father. Oh, hi. I'm Erica Ishii, but for today, I'm going to be Francis Makudorma. I am an elf, a high elf that was high elves. Have a deep and rich culture, don't you know? And I carry a bow and a sword, though it is dainty and lighter than air. And I did kill his father. It's true, but, uh, it is for a very good reason that will be revealed at a, uh, time, dramatically appropriate time. Yeah. Oh, and, and here is another, uh, disgruntled fellow disgruntled elf. Uh, please meet Upper Ian Garner's character. Hi, I'm Upper Ian Garner, and today I will be Pure El Fitzgerald. I am another disgruntled elf. We can talk about what has made me so mad, and it might have something to do with, uh, the marital customs of some of our party members, but we won't get into that here and now. I just, uh, convinced I need to be happy for them. So I'm going to, uh, yeah, everyone else here has got several axes and bowls. I carry a bowl full of, uh, frigid cold water from the top of a mountain. I'm the caster in the group. So it's a bit of a splash hazard, but you know, we, we make do, we make our magic, however we need to. Um, yeah, what's else is super important? Uh, my good friend, uh, bark. Sometimes you're dealing with a cult, uh, and you get in there and you don't realize you've walked into the middle of the ritual. He was bleeding. I was bleeding. We sort of high five at the end because we thought we had kind of nailed the mission. Oops. We successfully completed the blood pact. So now that's my blood brother. My pronouns are she, her, but I am a brother and I have a brother. So, you know, Rath, ooh, there's been a pencaps in my hair the entire time. Right. I'm going to stop talking now. And that's what you get when you watch a video. You get to see the pencaps in our hair. Now that we've met our brave heroes, brace yourself for improvised scenes inspired by their relationships. Before the end of the scene, one player will determine if it will end positively or negatively. Okay, I would like to establish the first scene. It's between myself and bark. It's us planning doing some wedding planning before we go out on the last adventure before our wedding, which is at the next full moon. But I would love some scene painting of me and barks home by my fellow players. You know, I think you've got like a cute little underground sort of dwarven situation. But the money that we're getting from adventuring, I feel like we have to invest in your home. So I think it's got lots of little tunnels connecting. So you've actually got like a big house just underground, but it's like eight distinct little like bubble rooms that are all connected by long, lovely hallways. Right now in the entryway, in preparation for the wedding, there's a pile of purple napkins, half of which are folded into the shape of a fanciful little hats. And there's a seating chart. And there's, you know, it's constantly into state of flux. And as we go on more adventures, and there's the political situation in the realm changes, you have to rearrange the little figurines you have in the, on the seating chart there. And Francis keeps on killing people's fathers. So it's really, it's getting really hard to figure out where to place you. We might be able to start our own table. I think, I think bark is looking at all the folded napkins that are in the shapes of hats. And just really looking and being like, hats come in so many different shapes. How do I know these are shaped like hats? What kinds of hats are they shaped? And I think he just starts bleeding from the nose as he stares the shape like hats. Bark, shape like hats. Bark, are you bleeding again? Oh, yeah. Hey, I tell you what, we got a plan this wedding. It's happening at the next full moon. I mean, we got less than 30 days to plan this thing or this dang wedding. We got a, we got a plan of meal. We got a plan of theme. We got to invite a DJ. Bark, what are you talking about? I've already handled most of these things. I've got us a DJ. It's your cousin. Oh, dang it. It's your cousin, Branch. Right? We've already got, we've already agreed upon. It's going to be chicken taters. Chicken taters for everyone. All right. Bark, do you, do you want this? I mean, I just feel like you haven't been present. And I know it's arranged, but I really do love you. I love you too. I'm sorry. I feel like what's going on in my heart is... Talk to me about your heart. I always imagined, you know, it's been a family tradition as long as I can remember. You, a older dwarf and a younger dwarf and a younger dwarf and a younger dwarf are arranged in marriage through the holy bonds and matrimonies, the skills of adventuring can be imparted one to the other. I remember my first marriage when I was a young dwarf. I got married to the oldest lady I'd ever seen. We were married for 19 beautiful days. And then she passed. I think getting married again just makes me, makes me think that maybe, maybe I won't be around for that much longer. You're gonna make it more than 19 days? I know it, I know it. Oh, so. Well, chicken tater sounds delicious. You know it would be fun. Skiball. You wanna do Skiball? I'd like to do a Skiball. I think we can get a Skiball thing. My dad is already put in a, wait, that's right. My stepdad. Because my real dad is dead. He was killed. Well, we all like Gerald. He's a good stepfather. He's the father that stepped up. Yeah. Oh, that's great Francis. I'm glad you like my stepfather. I think that's awesome that you like my stepfather. I think that's such an, that's such an awesome energy to bring to this space. You like Gerald? Oh no, Gerald. It's great. I find him super lovely. Like he's got nothing on Howard, but Gerald's great. God, Howard. Beaked, did you call your dad Howard? Well, that's how I remember him. Oh, sure. I guess I could go daddy, but I think that there's just something. I remember all that he was, and in that I choose to remember him by his name. He was, because he was more than my father. He was a community leader. He was a paraglider. And he loved to dig. God, did he love to dig? I remember, I remember being out there in the tunnels with Howard, and I'd turn my back for one second and I'd come around and all you'd see was a deep dark hole with you to hear the distant sounds of shush shush shush shush shush shush shush shush shush shush shush shush shush shush that was him just digging. I also love that you were friends with him, you know? I look him inside and say Howard, I love you with all my heart and one day I'm gonna marry your daughter and I'm gonna die right after No, you're gonna make it more than night deep days. Okay We all love towered why I killed him it remains to be seen but you could say it anytime At any time anytime You say that all the time you're always like no look. It's not the moment yet the tension One day it will be right. I Think we're letting tensions get a little hot. I know we are now less than a month until the big day that you've been waiting 10 years for So why don't we all just take a big breath? Maybe hope we're gonna let the breath out Okay, great. Why don't we all try maybe going on like a little adventure We did we do have a contract coming up right? Yeah, and how are we gonna be able to pay for all those chicken tater? That's right Chicken taters don't pay for themselves. They don't Well, maybe we should get started on that adventure and you know what I Speaking of your old man speaking Howard and I'm gonna pull a Pera gliding a parachute out from closet You know we live our lives underground, but the sky and I have a need To fly Before they realize who you really work for And I'm gonna stuff a contract in my best and say to this guy And I'd like to pull to someone else would pull how to resolve this Right for Howard Negative outcome. I'm gonna look and say I Never leave The wind pulls the parrot glider and shoots me out the window Ranged husband bark we gotta go after him we have to We gotta get Howard's backup gliders. Oh sure. That's right. We do have plenty of backup gliders. God Is this way to even gonna happen down the West Hall? Yeah, it's a wind tunnel. There's only one We cut to a scene where bark Harmland being Rocketed down a cavernous subterranean wind tunnel Paraclider ripping into his underarms the his shoulder blades crack under the massive pressure of the wind pulling him down Enormous three-eyed bats screaming sonar black Rockets down the wind tunnel bouncing off the stone Driving the axe deeper into his head that's already stuck in there axe gone shield gone pants gone Rocketed dead into a subterranean river That's true giant eaten by cavefish swallowed Deep in the dark inside of a cavefish an interior Light bioluminescent begins to glow as he sits in the upper digestive tract of this massive subterranean cavefish He looks up at the light inside the cavefish a smaller but still enormous angler fish the light allure He's eaten by a second fish. I'm fucking to duck into fish In the smaller fish tighter less comfortable smells worse. He looks around and he recognizes an old friend or perhaps enemy My god, it's my old enemy Dave He turns to Dave What's up mother fucker Shit Shit Dave this is working out nicely for me Dave you got to eat both two fish. I did well actually I only got eaten by one fish and then a second fish came along and ate that fish Oh, I got out myself to duck in the end, but it mine came after the fact I actually got eaten by the fish in sequential order God damn where you old son of a bitch. Did you orchestrate this did you make me look for howards old paragliders shoot and get sucked out the window by the wind tunnel and From my marriage Yes, this is Don't lie. No, no, this is all it way you are not going power game me in this moment Right this all is going according to plan. Dave is gonna produce a switchblade I always dreamed that I would I would you would meet your maker at the end of my switchblade Inside of a fish inside of another fish after you'd been supersonic blasted by three odd blasts I wrote it in my journal which if I had on me you would be able to read. I don't have friends the moment that Blade comes out. I think we get the like heartbeat of the fish and it's now it's kind of a sick beat Turns out this actually is like in the bioluminescence. It's really kind of like neon pink We're really doing the kind of like Greek bath scene from John Wick right now. I look at you with the switchblade inside this Thumping fish lit like a like a like a rave and I go I don't have friends I have a gun and I'm gonna jump to the side Fire because I shoot sideways with the air towards a series of crates stacked in a corner of the fish I block several of the bullets with the edge of my school's blade which is made out of adamantium But I mean of course you know how these things go and I'm slowly going to approach you slowly deflecting bullets with the edge of my my blade. I get an arcane walk. Yeah This is bar this is bar go or believe please can you hear me sweet? I'm throwing up a negative on this one. I'm wrapping up and it goes badly for a bark Sweet me I don't get service in the fish I'm gonna smash the lock the other end say time to go to school We're gonna have to get some old pals from hell and I'm gonna cut my throat No, it was supposed to be my blade not yours. I'm going to hell Dave and I'll be back with friends Dave stands over the the bled out body of of bark Closes the blade Well, there's only one way to follow you open to back up cuts his own In a wormhole rocketing down I look back and say oh, no, that's right You didn't accept Christ's love either No We're gonna pick up on the outside of the Double the double fish knife fight I think the other three of us are now standing at the edge of that river having just watched a second fish eat the first fish And I'm just gonna put my hand a like Puril puts her hand across Leafs sort of shoulders and the like the mom pose are you sure? I mean look I That's a fish the eight of fish Are you sure we could find you another man? No It has to be bark That's the way it was arranged and it also so happens that my heart also Follows in the direction of that arrangement. It's true. That's what Howard would have wanted Why do you keep bringing this up? Got my reasons Okay, I don't want to put you guys in a situation where you don't want to be but Bark is my husband and I'm an obvious adventurer with a simple hand axe, but I'm gonna I'm gonna jump in the water and try and get eaten by the fish so that I can get my Okay, I mean Will help you obviously here hold on let me catch let me catch some of them tears. I'm a water mage So we can get in there. I just wanted to double check you know sometimes you get cold feet wet feet So as long as you're like real body and let's get my feet are Are so hot I got the hottest feet If we didn't follow you What who would be your bridesmaids? I mean I don't have friends I don't have friends It's one of the things me and bark connected on I only have you Purel oh and you frances sure um hey guys are we all here in gunshots is that just anything oh barks using his gun Oh, no Hey You guys really you want to do this for me? Oh yeah, yeah, we wouldn't go we wouldn't We wouldn't be an adventuring party without you I I you know I have to hate you I have to You get it out there genuinely appreciate this energy in this moment. Yeah, yeah Look you're a novice adventure. You've only been out here. What 40 50 years tops if not for us How are you gonna learn how to he's bleeding? He's bleeding. Okay, hold on we're coming bark I'm gonna say this has a positive resolution Oh Okay Great um then I'm going to use my nose blood that's connected to my blood brother and as it hits the river Uh the entire river goes full prince of egypt red And we make a whirlpool that we can all jump in and we can also go to hell We're going wait we're not going to the fish. Oh, sorry. No um they It's gonna be kind of messy when you get there um They've both slit their throats and they're going to hell I think Who's the other? Oh, don't worry about it. We'll see when we get there and I can do into the hole After you Francis Here This will help you and I hand you get the fucking There's a choir to fear of fearlessness. Yeah, wait and I jump in I don't feel fear And I jump in Hard cut to hell Uh, I would accept some scene painting from my fellow party members. This is a crazy hill This hell is so wild the sky is lava and the clouds are Fucking blood blood clouds and a lava sky The ground is a perfect replica of central park Ha ha ha Bright green Carousel Bethesda fountain some joggers So all that sky stuff is fucked and then it's normal central park Um, but the but the the inside of an angel at the fountain it's a devil going The whole time and it's like an animatronic. Yeah, it's like doing it like you know But it's clearly on the loop. Yeah, and then you go over and like the statue of balto is also a devil going No You still got him yeah, and all those white guys all those white guys on that kind of long place where the guys are always playing piano Yeah, the prominent on the paintings. They're all devils going The the John Lennon Memorial. It says imagine a guy going Mid-Nountain text Okay here Says says we got to find your husband now. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Oh one second. How you gonna hotdog? Yeah Yeah, well if I know him yeah, just mustard on that He'll be at that one rock eight dollars. That's a rip. Okay. What's up? Your husband. Yeah, you're beloved husband I'm not afraid. I'm actually quite casual. So I'm having a hotdog real quick. Oh wow Do I can I get one of those don't we do not have okay look? Maybe it's just me and my lack of fearless ground, but we have got to go. Okay, let's do it Okay, is the hotdog good though. I do I know what one is that rock you know the one that's kind of the historic one It's in here The big historic rock You see that there are some big glacial boulders around these like large sort of set piece boulders that were deposited by a glacier That's the one that's the one and you have a tie to them with your with your water magic because there's not any fucking water down here the sky is lava I'm out of my depth. I use all my shit on the way in Well, Francis is on you All right Here we go and I take my sword which is lighter than air and I poke one of the boulders Oh, you've poked me the devil disguised as a boulder you win hell you have three wishes Hmm Senchus beautiful poke me again. Oh wow gosh for free gosh The devil's not changing into the devil. He's just staying in boulder for I don't know how to undo the disguise I don't know if I could handle what he looks like if he were to change form. Oh, I see your feet getting hot Might be a double way. Well, uh, we're looking for this young ladies Betrovid Sena man who's cut his throat and is very very old. Oh, yes, absolutely Are you lying? Make it one of your wishes that he doesn't lie. Oh, yeah, I wish that he wouldn't lie I Except to spare my feelings on times. I'm got very sensitive about things and now how does this out well? I shall tell the truth and all matters except where it concerns your feelings It is true an older dwarf came by I should know He works for me What wait what park works for the devil before they realize it's on the card It's on the card We're doing the game. It's on the card Park works for the devil oh, yeah, that's true. Of course. It's true. He never accepted the blinding hot light of Christ's love Oh, it's a good thing our special throbbing gift of Christ's love I also wouldn't accept it or oh I have but if you describe it like that, I would maybe give it back Yes, elves and dwarves notwithstanding Christ is real in this world too I can't not look like a boulder my god. I have to tell the truth. This is wild Okay, how about the second wish maybe is a little more directed in getting to bark is that is is that do you're liking? I right now. I'm just trying to process that my husband works for the devil and never accepted Christ's love Well, we we don't know quite what he's doing for the devil yet and yeah, what's he doing for yeah? I wish to know what my husband is doing for you. Oh there he is. I think you just ask You got me the second wish Buck promised his soul to me in ages long past when he was young So that I would reject the soul of his former wife And command her to wander as a spirit in the mortal world Wait he gave you his soul to turn his dead wife into a ghost Because if he had not whose soul would have been mine Was she a bitch what yes Stone-called bitch Rude for no reason Mean to his parents Absolutely wild in ways that honestly made her life harder This scene is going to have a positive outcome. Yeah, incredible Well Third wish maybe I know do as a third wish I say that we take over your duties here in hell and now we have the power to grant wishes and to Uh Now we have the power to grant wishes and to bring his first wife back and to float and find our friend All three of you will be one third of the new three-part devil Trinity Cool the mother The daughter the whole unholy spirit yeah Praise be also I want you to know I took a look at some of your graphic design portfolio What did you think It's not bad Oh Bark and Dave are Bark and Dave are I think At the woman ice skating rink which is totally melted because it's Skies lava. Skies lava. That's blue and I think that we are strangling each other and bashing our brains out against the sort of machinery that is now exposed Why are you I already did Dave you dumb Bill it I have to bring you back to life somehow Fucking kill you. You never bring me back to life. I'm a war What what happened? I promised my soul to the devil I promised my soul to the devil to save my dead bitch wife I Loved her so much. I didn't want her to go to hell, but I couldn't accept Christ love I think the blood clouds are beginning to like congeal into like one big clot and it begins to rain blood And blood oh Taste like blood That's funny this whole time I've been hating you But Only in this moment is the blood pours down around us do I realize Exact same I had a bitch wife as well I gave everything for yeah Isn't love wonderful thing It's all we got I mean especially once you were tracking Christ Hot heart Throbbing love the only love out there is the romantic one that exists between two beings There's almost a way in which the I could never truck with the idea that an externalized love that was only available through the auspices of an institution Was supposed to supplant and actually take priority over the real sacrifices I was seeing from the people in my life my wife My wife wasn't a bitch She was just rude in a funny way playfully and I I don't think she deserved to go to hell But I still knew that's where her soul was bound I wasn't smart enough to figure out how to break the cycle so I made a bad deal I was just a kid. I was only 165 years old Pearl they're here look he's here. Oh, and he's with your ex-husband Dave You rack your bastard. What are you doing down here? Purel Dave I wait weird together. Yeah Purel Purel It's me Francis Francis Oh hi Dave hi why each of you have a burning red crown hovering over your head We're kings of hell now. Yeah, I'm the um What was I'm the unholy spirit? Yeah, we spirit. I'm the daughter. I'm mother. I have your pet your pet belongs to me now bar Oh my god, leave You you hold my soul I do well you you own a 33.3% your soul third of my soul. Yeah, we got the sort of majority steak. Oh watch your mouth Is it isn't it funny isn't it funny how that works Dave? Hey wish though. I can hit Dave. Oh Well, we grant the wishes that while we eat grant a third of a wish so oh sure um I wish to Freeze the sort of blood water pond around Dave so he's like a little statue. Oh That's not the gig Granting wishes to yourself if the devil could have done that he would have wished for God to forgive him Instead He can't even figure out how not to be a boulder Wait pure up You think that's right You got to get you got to get your ex To make wish you got to talk it out. You got it. You got to find common ground God this axe in my skull it burns so bad Well just wish for it to be gone and I'll make it happen I wish for this axe to be out of my head A third of the axe and then the other two thirds are gone you you're an animus. Oh my god Oh I'm gonna say this has a negative Oh gosh oh gosh he's bleeding out. Oh my god. He's already dead. Why is he down there? Yeah This is Dave. I thought we couldn't die in hell. What's happening Dave do something make a wish Um, I I wish for this head would stop bleeding I don't want to grant Dave's wish what oh No, it's me Jesus Christ By sacrificing himself for his former ex-wife He is now the dominion of heaven and corporate And also, but the thing that was stopping me from getting him was that cursed axe in his head It served from we couldn't locate his GPS, but now we can't I'm Jesus and I claim Bark Harmlett's soul There's someone we can talk to I think who can help us out of this Back many many years ago at Purell and Dave's wedding I am seated at a table with all my adventuring party friends and also Howard What a beautiful wedding. I'm having such a lovely time. I can't wait to paraclyde again Oh well about that Howard see here's the thing is I worry about your advanced age and also the paragliding and that you have not Accepted Jesus Christ into your heart Really really yes I know it is not the way for dwarves, but you know else we we Live a long good life and then we go to the bosom of our savior Wow That sounds remarkable Tell me What does one have to do to be accepted into the kingdom of God? Well you have to confess your sins and then you read this Tom that we have here and And you know then but then the reward comes after After during during life it tends to be not as fun and you be a bit disgruntled for the rest of your life Well All right, I can confess my sins I've always been kind and diligent honorable and respectful you really everyone loves you Howard Francis I think you see behind Howard Howard's wife Helen is just She does a huge cross around her neck and she's I want to go alone He looks and says I suppose the only sin that I should have to forgive him for is I lied one time about a friend's graphic design portfolio Sorry Francis It's pretty bad Christ And he is hard Love Into him Grab you by the face just fully chloroforms you and drags you off like shh. I'm gonna re-marry Oh, I can see it endless thermals tasty puffy white clouds A pair of gliders paradise. Oh Christ your perfect love Christ's love is better than the love of your family Here leave I think this is a negative outcome for myself and I'm listen it was all for the best What graphic design is my passion So you stabbed a man on my wedding day Well He's With God now God I wonder if he has a kind of Mirror opposite that I can pledge myself to anyway go hit the buffet Act one is now over and the players must tally their positive blue cards and negative red cards to determine the tilt before act two Red three red seven blue three red one blue two subtract blue one The most bad stuff happened to me. I get to choose the tilt for the second half I'm choosing between two that there's one That makes a lot of sense that would be very dramatically satisfying which is in the sense somebody is not so innocent after all But I'm not gonna choose that one. I'm gonna choose mayhem a dangerous animal gets loose Yeah Hi, and I have the most but blue. I was the most blue So my addition to this tilt is gonna be paranoia two people cross paths and everything changes Will leaf get to marry her arranged husband who was Affordably pledged to her as devil form but now has been taken to heaven incorporated Will we get those chicken taters ordered in time for the wedding? It's only a few weeks away Will Purrell figure out how to curse her ex-husband Dave? Will Francis find forgiveness in leaf or In her new capacity as the daughter of the unholy trinity will she become even worse Find out in The next half of this Fiasco next time on world's beyond number plays fiasco The dingo comes out of nowhere and kills friend click them together and we'll go to heaven Fuck your wedding we gotta get your dad fuck by wedding here comes Santa Claus I'm a too small We have to cancel the wedding That's just how adventuring parties go you're uh you're uh you're a found family whether you like it or not Which is not normally how fan families work but in this world it is The weddings are arranged and the families are found whether you like it or not It's a family that you woke up one day and found yourself Kind of like a normal family