Disney, Hockey, Flying | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-26-26

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. What's going on? How are ya? How's it going, dude? Oh, I'm sitting here on my L-shaped couch. NHL's back watching Jack Hughes with the golden goal playing back with the devils and the fucking Buffalo Sabres anyway what a week as I mentioned before we took the kids out to go see the monster trucks and then we went to Disneyland had a great time guess what I finally met Goofy I finally got a picture with him. 40 years. Took me 40 years. You know? It's like John Elway winning the Super Bowl the last two years. Get the shit kicked out of you. So that was cool. And I got to tell you, California Adventure Park, I don't know. I kind of give it the nod over Disneyland. Why is that, Bill? I'll tell you why. I've watched that Lightning McQueen and all versions of it. All, what is it? Two or three of them. I've watched the Tow Mater, you know, when he tells the crazy stories. I have watched all of them with my son like a thousand times each. And then you go to that California Adventure Park and they recreate. It's like you walk into the movie. You're walking down Main Street where Lightning McQueen has already paved it. All right. They got Luigi, you know, the tire shop. They got the low rider guys. They got George Carlin in the military, dude. They got Paul Newman's car. They even got the statue that he ruins in the beginning. They got the they have the ride with like the tractors that tip over like the kind of got the whole thing. And you just walk down the street and then they have the radio radiator springs racers. and I got in it with my son and when we were flying around the track, I was looking at him. He was grinning ear to ear. Such a happy kid. And I just looked at him. I was like, I'm never going to forget this. It was just seared in my brain. I was like, this is insane. I feel like I'm inside the movie that we were watching. And, of course, he said something adorable when he got off. He said, that ride scared my tummy. it was awesome and then you know my daughter's getting older too just watching her interacting with the park even different more different than she did a few months ago so yeah i'm like a fucking disney dad i don't know what happened but i i love the place and uh and i had a great time we even hung out for like the parade and i got to watch the lovely nia what did she freak out about um little mermaid came by and all of a sudden she became like you know eight nine years old again and she was like waving to the people on the float. It's fucking hilarious. I will say this. I saw this ice cream sandwich earlier in the day that this person was eating and I don't even know how to describe the level of white that the ice cream filling was. And I looked at that and I was like, that is all chemicals. I don't know what is in that, but there's no milk, there's no eggs. Oh, we got a darty brook here. 5.16 to go in the second period The guys dropped the gloves. What's the guy's name? Zucker. Took a few, swung, missed, fell down. I don't like this thing with like hockey now, like whoever falls down is the other guy won the fight. I mean, you're fighting on skates. Somebody's going to fall down. If you get punched and then you fall down, I think that that's what it is, right? I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, the fuck was I talking about this fucking ice cream sandwich? and i'm looking at it i go that looks like that kind of ice cream like you ever see when they put oreos in the microwave someone will do that on the internet and they just they can't it doesn't melt whatever the fuck that is as we're 25 years into fighting a war on terrorism we allow a u.s company to feed this to its own citizens okay so i looked at it and i go I was just looking at these people going like I can't fucking believe they're eating that shit so I go with the turkey leg and I'm eating the turkey leg and I'm having a good time but then I get filled up with all that sodium and lo and behold I end up being hungry at the end of the night and the parade's happening and everybody I'm with is getting ice cream sandwiches and I said all right I'll get an ice cream sandwich and I I don't I don't I can't believe I ate that thing like I've been eating like an idiot the last couple of weeks, but today I went to the gym and I got back on it. But I will tell you whatever was in that ice cream sandwich is going to be in my body for the rest of my life. And when my body decomposes, all the Oreo cookies and that ice cream sandwich is going to be what's left. It's, it's, there's just like, how much money do you have to make that you start feeding people poison? and then as always they'll put it on you well you need to like be conscious of what you're putting in your body uh how can i do that when i have to work all these hours just to fucking keep my head above water well you know you got to figure it out you got to make you have to make healthy choices you got to make healthy choices it's like well why isn't the food healthy why is it on me to try i'm not a chemist i don't know what's in this shit it says ice cream sandwich. It shouldn't be allowed to be called an ice cream sandwich if 90% of it is not ice cream. How about a chemical, frozen chemical sandwich? Anyway, so I've been on the internet a little bit lately, and I came across this thing. I've seen a couple, oh, I gotta love Lindy Ruff. What a fucking gem that guy is. Total hockey guy. lindy on the road rough at home it's one of my favorite stories ever um anyway so i see this fucking i've seen this one before it's this 9-11 conspiracy and the whole thing is animated right so evidently according to the conspiracy theory the guy that owned world trade center one and two bought them not realizing that they were full of asbestos or maybe he was the original owner and then he didn't want to pay for the asbestos removal. So he's trying to figure out how to get out from underneath, I guess, all of this with all of those floors being rented. Somehow he didn't have enough money to take the asbestos out. Of course, he wasn't even remotely concerned with the poor people that were working in there in asbestos. This is just a theory, by the way, and it's animated. So then somebody goes, well, why don't you get terrorist insurance? And he goes, well, what are you talking about? They go, you get terrorist insurance, and then we'll call the White House and just say, how about we pull these buildings, just say terrorists do it, and then you can just have a war on terror, and it could be wherever, and you can have false flag wars anytime you want. And they're like, well, that sounds like a good deal. And then everybody in the comments are like, this, this is what the fuck happened. And I'm watching this thing. And these guys concoct this plan on the phone and then call the White House on the, like, this is how it went down. No one was privy to this conversation. And now you're animating it. This alleged conversation. conversation and then what they called up hey white house can i help you how may i direct your call yeah false flag wars hang on a second no false flag wars yeah hi i uh you ever been to new york city you know world war the whole fucking thing and not one person in the comments is going like, hey, you know, I don't like whatever your theory is, there's no way this was discussed on the phone. I don't know. Or maybe it is. Who knows? With these fucking Epstein files and shit, were these people really this dumb? They didn't even speak in code. They just fucking said all of this shit via email. By the way, the latest Narcissist Watch, so the fucking the U.S. men's team goes to the White House and the White House, you know, suspends false flag calls from guys who own skyscrapers in New York City every day. I haven't seen the animated version yet. So they go there and this is like just classic. This is not political at all. I'm just observing narcissist behavior. The narcissist is seated. All the other, the heroes are all standing there with their medals. They have the attention. They have the shiny thing. So the narcissist says, oh, that's, I want one of those. Can I, can I try that on? So then the dude gives it to him and then he makes the joke. I'm not giving it back. And then proceeds to leave it on while they take the picture. And one of the hockey players who earned the fucking thing is standing there in the picture with the president not wearing his medal. The president is wearing it. In that 15 seconds, you just saw that guy's life story. Hey, that guy has that thing. I want that thing. Let me get in business. Yeah, yeah, it's going to be a great thing. Hey, by the way, you're not getting this back. Take the picture. I did it. Yeah. Internet's a fucked up place, man. I saw a woman trashing the women's hockey team, trying to make it out like they couldn't handle that white men achieve something. It's like, oh, here's a breakaway. Here's a fucking breakaway. He shoots and it's a save. They were trying to say that the reason why the women's team didn't go is because they couldn't handle that white men achieve something and whatever the fuck it was. It's like, no, they're not going because the person they're going to meet says that he walks around and grabs women by their pussies. He also has an incredible amount of accusations out there of sexual assault. And his name is all over the Epstein Island files. That would make a group of women not want to be around you. This has nothing to do with politics. Politics has nothing to do with politics. It's just women. not wanting to be around a creep. But this is what kills me about Bill Clinton. If he was there, they would have showed up. Because somehow women find him charismatic with his big fucking chick thighs. I don't know what it is. I have no fucking idea. I've never understood that, you know? But I don't know. To see a woman do that, man, it's just like, once again, I'm telling you, This is why it's up to men to support women's sports. Because they just, I don't know what it is. They just fucking go, especially with sports. There's something about sports. They just won't give it up. I want to say that's the second time in a row the women's, U.S. women's has won the gold. They're on a run here. I don't know. What are you going to do? Anyway. Hey, what are you going to do? that's what I say you know what I say you go out you be a good person that's what I say you try to be a good person that's what you do you try to do the best you can and then just you know watch out for you know people that fall into the dark triad personality makeup maybe not vote for one of them it still wouldn't matter it still wouldn't matter I told you guys my my water supply fucking theory that every business past a certain level, there's no good people left because you get to a certain level in all business where you're asked to pour something in the water supply that isn't good for the people. This is a metaphor, right? And all the decent people go, no, I'm not doing that. I couldn't do that. I couldn't live with myself if I did that. And then there's the other people, fuck it, I'll do it. And then that's what happens. And I think that that's what you're left with, you know, in government, when you see all these people, you know, jumping around saying freedom fries. And nobody's like looking at themselves going, is it me or is this not the stupidest piece of propaganda I've ever seen in my life? They're not French fries anymore. They're freedom fries. And they're all sitting there smiling like they just made a great joke. The whole thing. and everyone is just completely devoid of any sort of like human emotion um too maybe i watched that animated thing one too many times i have no idea um anyway i uh oh so billy oh billy got back on the elliptical today like this fucking soccer mom he's looking at looking like right now i didn't let it get really out of control i just put like another five six back on last couple weeks i don't happened it was a birthday cake was laying around and i fucking i lit up the crack pipe and i had a piece of cake and then i just fucking i went off the rails there so now now i'm back i'm back off the sugar and uh you know so whatever i had a nice easy day did a little stretching i got on the elliptical i looked at the weights and i was like i'm gonna talk to you tomorrow and i am god damn and I'm going to go over there tomorrow. And, oh, Billy Lightweights. That's what I do. I get to get in shape girl things because I'm done hurting myself working out. I somehow got tennis elbow. I think I got it from fucking playing drums, trying to play James Gadsden's 16th notes, you know, single-handed. My technique evidently wasn't good. And now I got this shit, you know, tennis elbow. I don't play tennis. you know that's like the beginning of a sci-fi movie you know or somehow the woman's impregnated and what comes out of her is not a human and she's looking at her husband going but i i never fucked a martian and he's looking at you like sure you didn't you know the same way joseph looked at mary right that's what happened in my elbow the same thing that happened in that poor woman's womb happened to my right elbow you have tennis elbow but but i never play tennis of course you don't mr burn you fucking whore um anyway uh so hockey's back i can't wait for the bruins man i fucking missed them when they were gone such a fun goddamn team to watch um and i'm hoping some of the guys got you know obviously got to heal up, take a nice rest. It was a few guys that I noticed their game wasn't quite as physical or whatever. As the season goes on, you see him. You know, I saw Nikita that Ranger game where he fell and his leg went underneath him. It's a weird way. He missed like a game or two. And then when he came back, you could see like he was working his way through it. Dude, hockey players are just, hockey players, professional fighters, like the football players, the stuff that these guys go through is insane. And I'm going to add this, that monster truck thing, talking to that driver afterward. And like, dude, he sounded like, like I said, like a retired NFL running back. And I don't know, the old me would have just watched those trucks, you know, flying through the air and I never would have thought about it. But as the older you get, like you ever see like your kids just jumping up and down and you just make that wincing face? Like, how is that not killing your back or your knees right now? You know, and you say, I'm like, didn't that hurt? And they're like, no. You gotta be careful, man. Your knees and your back, they gotta last you a lifetime. They're just looking at you like, the fuck are you talking about? Dude, look at Doug Flutie, still in play and shape. That guy looks like he could still get it to Gerard Phelan. I bet he could. I bet Doug Flutie can still throw it 50 yards if you let him warm up. He threw it 60 when he was like 22. I bet however old he is now, he's a few years older than me. He's probably like 60, 61. I bet that guy can still throw it fucking 50 yards and I bet he can throw it on a rope 40. Look at me talking shit about his abilities. Where can you throw it, Bill? I think the longest I ever threw a ball was about fucking 38 yards. I don't even know if I could ever even throw it 40. you sit up in the stands you're like dude i could fucking do that then you get down there like this is a fucking hurl you know well you go to fenway park you're just like dude i could hit one over i you know what i get warning track that's what that's that's the humble thing you say in the stands you know there's a few people though you know that could do it i'll tell you could do it was fucking tom sellick tom sellick did it tiger stadium came in star of magnum PI and he got up to the plate and he fucking, he hit it left-handed, I think, left-handed hitter and he hit it to the short porch out in right field. And then you know what the cool thing was? He just sort of nodded to the crowd. He didn't act like it was a big deal. And it's like, let me get this straight. You're six, you're a six foot five Burt Reynolds. You drive a Ferrari. you're banging all these hot chicks in fucking Maui and you can hit an MLB home run didn't you have the decency to be excited about it just was totally nodded like hey you know playing it off like you got lucky he's like no you didn't no you didn't that's one of the ones God's going to be proud of you know when Tom Selleck passes or whatever he's definitely going to gather the angels around look what i made i did it again right other people other people he avoids some of these characters we get out there now leading us into the oblivion i think when they die he'd be like all right you know i had a bad day i had a bad you know you know a guy like this this is what i invented the devil for i invented the devil so i had i'd have an out so i can just you when I fuck up at work, I can just say, oh, the devil, you know, the devil got in his head, not me. All right. Anyway, let's do a little promo here. The 13th annual Patrice O'Neill Comedy Benefit, Tuesday, April 28th at the New York City Center Theater in New York City. We have an incredible lineup. Adam Ray, Dave Attell, the king, the king, Dave Attell, Drew Dunn, Jordan Jensen, Matt Richards. Fucking hilarious. I got to know him last year when I was doing Glenn Gary. Great guy and does one of the best Donald Trumps in the game. Zarna Garg, who I got to know. Where the hell did I meet? I think I met her at Comics Come Home. Hilarious. And myself, and as always, the great Rich Voss will be our emcee. And we might even have a special guest drop in. In fact, I think I know we do at this point. Tickets go on sale right now. They can be purchased at Patrice Comedy Benefit Live dot live. Sorry, Patrice Comedy Benefit dot live. All the proceeds go to Patrice O'Neill's mom. That's it. We take care of her because he was taking care of her. And, you know, he died way too young and his mom had a lot more life to live. So we've made sure that we picked up where he left off. and it's one of my favorite things to do. Shout out to Maureen Taron, who's the engine behind the whole thing. She produces it every year. And yeah, other than paying to rent out the fucking venue, all the money, everybody works for free. It's fantastic. It's a great thing. So come down and be a part of it. All right. With that, I got a couple of reads here. Oh, geez. Oh, geez. Oh, Freckles is going to read out loud here. All right. Helix, everybody. Helix, how are you navigating the colder season and spending more time indoors. In your bedroom? Staying comfortable inside with your Helix mattress. A good night's rest sets up you for a great day. Jesus Christ, is that the truth? I'll tell you right now, one of the smartest things I do, I let my wife sleep. 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I went there, you know, and as I pull into the airport, I always look at the flag. it's the first thing i do to see which way the winds are going but plus when i sit in traffic i can see which direction people are taking off from and uh before i even get in the car i you know i look at the uh the meter and i look at the taff i look at all the bullshit i look at all of it so i know what i'm getting into i know where i'm leaving from i know where i'm going oh billy nice day i like to fly on nice days all right so all like it was skies clear wind variable right and i'm looking at the hollywood hills or whatever and they look all hazy from where i am which is actually a good thing that means there's not a lot of wind up there and all the fucking dust from the city and all of their shits just sitting there it's weird like the less visibility the less windy it is and on a really clear day you know before my pilot's license oh this is a great day to fly you get up there and the wind is fucking whipping around so this is a weird day like you know i can see the back of the hollywood hills you know and it's like i can see the shape of them so i'm like all right that's 10 plus visibility i like that it's hazy this is going to be nice the flag is fucking staring at the ground i listen to the atus it tells me what i think winds variable at four you know at fucking 170 so i'm like all right this is gonna be great so i fucking do all my bullshit i take off you know from a taxiway because i'm a helicopter and we're fucking cool and uh right when i get into the crosswind immediately i just start getting bumped around and all of this and i was like i fucking knew it i knew it because i was literally thinking like this happens a lot like on the ground nothing's going on and then you fucking get up there and all of a sudden like the winds were like you know 15 knots it was nothing crazy but it was like coming from the right side or the left side so it was sort of pushing me a little bit and um but it was still really hazy which was weird so I couldn't tell where it was coming from anyway ended up flying out to like Santa Paula I like flying out that way had a nice soft landing there and then you know I flew back to Van Nuys and just had a great fucking flight and I was on my way back and one of the Red Bull guys pulled up alongside of me in his helicopter i was talking to him for like a fucking minute and uh i've met a couple of those guys and this guy wants to take me up and do like a fucking 360 loop and i'm sitting there like dude i got kids i got a family and i'm free on friday no i didn't say that i said i gotta i gotta check with my wife to make sure that's all right um but i want to fucking do it um i have total fucking envy of people with like full-size helicopters and like the amount of inertia their main rotor has as opposed to my little fucking egg beater and um but they're just like that's a whole other ball game that's where you got to be like tom cruise or speaker of the house to be able to afford a helicopter like that it just is it's just it's an entire like the jump you know what i mean it's like going from a prius to a bugatti and there's just there's no middle ground there's no fucking i guess you can buy a fucking used one you know that's about ready to time out and then you're gonna have to pay for the fucking whatever they call it almost said remodel how much do i own house the fucking whatever when they rebuild the whole thing and then like well they're just continuing this so they don't support it anymore and then you're sitting there and you got like this zillion dollar fucking paperweight there's just no way into it so what you got to do is you got to get to know people that have you got to get a giant fucking hang it's insane it's insane like when you go to an airport there's like these little fucking like motorhome hangers with people with like Cessnas and little fucking Robinsons like me and then there's just these giant giant fucking hangers with like fucking G5s in a fleet of Ferraris it's just it's fucking it's it's it's completely like whenever those hangers open up and you look in there like you feel like you're watching like the beginning of like a Jason Statham movie you know what I mean um it's just a whole other level so I think what I'm gonna do I'm always like I love my helicopter because it's like 60 bucks for an hour to fly it it's like a car that's where you want to be so what I like doing now is I just like taking my friends up and I just give them like a tour of LA and I fly over a bunch of cool shit that's kind of like what I like to do and uh i don't know but anyways i will tell you though that guy flying alongside of me was kind of fucking hilarious it was literally like a ferrari driving behind a fucking prius and not passing it was kind of fucking amazing but anyway i had a great flight today and i had a great day had a great kid day you know played a bunch of baseball in the morning dude i'm telling my daughter holy shit she got a hold of one the other day i was like that would legit be shallow maybe a little short of shallow right field in a major league ballpark she just like what i love is she's she's using her hips now she's taking some lessons and stuff and her bat speed and she has this totally relaxed swing and uh i don't know i'll tell you right now if i ever go to my daughter's baseball game and she gets a hold of one and fucking like any dads out there your kid boy or girl ever hit a fucking home run like how do you how do you not just burst into tears it's amazing anyway i gotta go in here that's the podcast um thank you for listening enjoy the music picked out by the amazingly talented Andrew Themilis. And we'll have a bonus episode of the Thursday afternoon just before Friday, Monday morning podcast to follow. Have a great weekend, you cunts. Be nice to each other. Don't let these news networks divide you. Do not root against other states. We are the United States. Help out your fellow American. You know, don't listen to these sociopaths and don't listen to mouth-breathing morons. don't anybody who has a message where they're trying to say us and them anybody that's trying to separate people it's it's ripping us apart all right we're human beings we should be helping each other all right that's it i'm off my stump okay go fuck yourself Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast. for Monday. February 26, 2018. How's it going? How are you? Are you enjoying your February of 2018? Well, you should. Because you never know. You never know if there's going to be another February of 2018. Nothing is promised. Just remember to look up at the clouds today and smile. Sorry. i'm threatening to get on instagram once again and i'm going to get on there and i'm going to become someone who's in the public eye that inspires you so i just want to try out some of my inspiring words you know my wife my half she's on instagram and i always look at those things it always cracks me up people sit there they act like they're trying to inspire you and it's really just an excuse so they can take their shirt off and show you like how great a shape during always set goals beyond your own belief in yourself because even if you fall short you're still in the money round whatever the fire can never finish them you know what i mean then they're just sitting there with like fucking eight-pack abs you know but like with a hat on like a fucking knitted hat it's like dude i thought you're cold why don't you put a shirt on all right he starts off being cunty and it's only gonna get more cunty from there so i was out in um i was out in santa monica and i i was coming back towards hollywood you know to get my uh my botox injections um a lot of people don't know that about myself that i'm actually i've lied to you all of these years i'm actually 63 years old and um i take a very high quality Botox injection every, uh, every third day. Sort of like the Patron silver of like Botox, you know, I don't know shit about tequila. I'm sure somebody's going to say, Oh, actually that's kind of a mid range tequila. You want more than you got it? No one cares. No one cares about you and your fucking tequila connoisseur. So anyway, so I'm driving into Hollywood, right? and I stop at a red light and there's all these pro-Second Amendment people standing there, right, with like megaphones and shit, and they just keep yelling, America, love and believe it! This is America, love and believe it! Right? Like literally some of the dumbest fucking people I've ever seen in my life. and that my friend is what always now now now if i was a moron which i am um i would look at those people and be like yes that's what people who defend the second amendment look like rather than being like no people who fucking are gonna stand at a fucking red light with a bullhorn there's a certain level of intellect that that's gonna have and there it is You know what I mean It's kind of like when like the left goes out And they protest something Like remember that I always bring this The chick up who fucking sat there When Trump was getting Sworn in and she was going Like that fucking Like what sort of Balanced conversation could you have with a human being like that and it's just saying like these people i just it was fucking hilarious and then people were beeping at them yeah i don't know you can't tell when someone hits a horn whether it's they don't have like the uh the positive beeping i guess that's like a peep you can't tell if they were beeping like yeah keep yelling that shit that doesn't make any sense i don't understand in America, love it or leave it. So if you want to adjust anything, then you need to get the fuck out of here. Like, it's just like, I mean, that's what the flyers did for the last fucking 40 years. And that's why they have yet to win another cup because whatever they did in 74 and 75, they continued to fucking do up until about maybe six or seven seasons ago, you know, oh, we're going to beat the shit out of people, right? That worked in 74 and 75 before social media before millennials were even born you could do that all right and they didn't adjust and look at them now coupless they won a stanley cup since gerald ford was in office and that's fucking unbelievable right actually it really isn't when you look at it there's there is 30 teams if you win one once every 30 years that's pretty much average so they're a little behind they're a little behind the curve they need to stay after class get a little extra help on how to cycle it around um yeah and i love how they just and they go these fucking morons are going love it or leave it and what they're defending was an amendment to the constitution which is a change fucking unbelievable and the look on their face too when they were pissing people off because It's like these fucking morons were actually looking at him getting mad. I actually rolled my window down because I wanted to call one of the guys fat. I just looked at it like this is going to be – how mad can I make this guy? It's so childish, but that's how I kind of looked at it. But the look on their faces of them just pissing people off, they had total joy on their faces. So it's just like you're not making it any better. You're actually making it worse. I don't know. Why can't people just sit down and just be like, you know, people that defend AR-15s can be like, Look, man, I fucking love my gun. I fucking spoon with it. I ain't ever shot myself in the face with it. And then the people on the left can be like, Well, you know, we're not saying that all kinds of bad. We're just saying, excuse me, is that a butterfly? line we're just saying that maybe it should be a little more difficult to get one of those guns um maybe that's what we need to do maybe maybe that's a way that each side can hear each other each side performs as the stereotype you know or wait maybe you present your liberal opinion in your viewpoint of what you think the right sounds like. You know? I'm going to raise my daughter gender neutral. Right? And then when they refute, they have to be like, you fucking liberal snowflake. Anyways, oh my God. I have never gotten more goddamn responses than when you start bringing up fucking guns. um there's gotta be how can you do it like you know you gotta let these fucking people still have their machine guns so they can get out there and then four wheelers or you know who who knows who knows what's gonna happen i i am curious too as far as um uh well before i finish it how do you figure out who's a fucking lunatic and who isn't you know what i mean because the i i i haven't done any research on this but i would be willing to bet that at least 98 percent of registered gun owners are fucking responsible you know they're out there shooting squirrels off their balconies right with that gun you can you see at the end of scarface or whatever the fuck it is they're doing who gives a shit that's all they're doing just a fucking squirrel man's goddamn cute rat as far as i'm concerned it's good eating though it's good eating it's like a gamey chicken with a little bit of Captain Crunch in it. There's got to be a way to, you know, you know what I mean? I don't think anybody who owns a gun thinks that some fucking lunatic should get a gun like that. So why don't we just work on that? How would you do that? How would you possibly fucking do that? I don't know. I actually got into it with somebody, you know, when they were trying to tell me that silencers were legal in New York. And I'm like, dude, they're not. He's like, yes, they are. And I said, dude, I live there. They're not. And then he's like, immediately he goes, they are. You just have to register. So then I Google it and it says that suppressors are legal in like something like 42 different states. And one of the states they weren't legal in was New York. And then the guy gets, rather than being like, oh, okay, I'm wrong. He gets like fucking mad and he goes, well, is that a new law? it's like no i don't know i don't know when it came as far as i know whenever i fucking lived there you can't have a silencer in fucking new york city that basically means that uh i'm gonna go assassinate somebody it's not like we have a bunch of fucking coyotes and shit running around um alligators and that type of shit because in florida they were just like well you know because we shot guns with silencers in florida they would just go and we were laughing and Verzi said yeah having a silencer in New York means I basically want to kill somebody and I don't want anybody to hear it and they laughed and down here they were like ah that just down here that just means there's an alligator on your yard you don't want to wake up your neighbor you know so it's like oh all right I get it plus my ears are junk I think if I had a fucking gun I would want to have a suppressor you know I mean that's got to be the it's got to be the best if somebody breaks into your house all right and your gun is readily available and you have a suppressor on it right and you just fucking stand up and you jam jam scratching your ass and you just i'll clean that up in the morning you just go right back to bed you know and you just lay in there you know you did something fucked up the night before you know you know how you wake up where you don't just sort of gradually wake up your fucking eyes just come open i just i fucking shoot say i have to shoot somebody last night ah god damn it the blood's all dry on my floors man um anyways i find the whole fucking thing fascinating i also find it fascinating that you know as much as i'm a believer that you shouldn't uh the government shouldn't be the only one that has guns it's like too much powers considering what the fuck they're doing uh i also don't i think we're as far as technology goes in owner of media i just don't think that a bunch of people with like guns in their houses is going to stop any sort of fucking you know if we went i don't know how much crazy we could get in this country but if we really went totally fucking crazy i really don't think a bunch of armed citizens who are not organized or even remotely have the training or the weaponry of what you know the martial law whatever the fuck would be enacted would even be able to stop it you know and then the people that took over in power would also control the media and then they would they would um put out information to make those patriotic citizens look like they were fucking nazis and the whole thing would fall apart um however you know for a lot of people i think it would be a fun way to go out You want my guns? Come and get them Come and get them You want my soul cycle? I'm going to put it up on Craigslist next week Alright, let's get out of this fucking topic We'll talk about it later I'm trying to be even here Like sort of trashing both sides And seeing both sides You know This is my Instagram Inspirational thing on gun control I'm trying to see both sides of this. And in the end of this, I will take my shirt off. It's not even that people in the public eye do that. It's the people that follow them. I guess if they are inspiring them, I guess they are doing something. But it is just so clearly it has nothing to do. even if they inspire somebody that's even more for that person that took their shirt off to feed their ego um anyways or maybe i just never looked good with my shirt off in shape or out of shape because i was so pasty white you know i felt bad for fucking there was a fellow celebrity a redhead and he had his shirt off on a boat and everyone was you know and he's in great shape and That's all everybody talked about was how fucking white he was. You know? If redheads ever had a bodybuilding contest, what it would basically, they would do it for the blind. Then the blind would just come up like touching their torso and be like, okay, this could be a little more defined. You know? Then we'd sit there with our angry, freckled fingers, you know, giving them the finger maybe. I have no idea All I know is that since I become a dad I I you know I don have time to fucking watch games the way I used to especially like hockey and basketball How many games there are and all that. Every time I fucking start to get caught up on the Bruins, I look at my little thing and it says, you have five new games to watch. And I know they're playing great and they're making all these moves. i don't know if this trade went through but we got fucking rick nash from the rangers and i was thinking oh god like who the fuck did we give up for this guy and uh we gave up a first round draft pick who the hell is it here and we gave up uh we gave up ryan spooner and matt Bolesky. I don't know. Rick Nash is 33. I love Ryan Spooner. Oh, well, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? But I think who knows? I like what Sweeney's doing. He's just like, all right, fuck it. We're like right there. Let's push this over the top. It gives us a physical presence. A guy that gives you 30 goals a season. I think the Bruins definitely got better. They're going to put him on the second line with David Craigie. Now you got Bergeron. You got Pasternak. You got Marshawn in the first line. That gives us two really solid lines. And I haven't watched that many games this year. But the games I've been watching, our fourth line actually kind of contributes quite a bit. We're young, we're fast. Now we got this guy. And he's a big presence out there. He doesn't really drop the gloves. but I mean that's been completely taken out of the game by the way people who always talk about how much they love Olympic hockey and if they could just get the fighting out of the NHL that they would actually sit down and watch it well all I want to say is fuck you you lying cunts because you ruined the game that I loved because they've pretty much got fighting out of the game certainly in the playoffs you get in the playoffs the goons are gone the goons go home the goons go home at night the goons go home at night they go home and during the fucking playoffs playoffs they send them all home and every year i get a little sad you know when i see that and i think back to the 80s when the fucking bruins played the the fucking buffalo savers and it was standing room only in the penalty box it's like two guys sitting down three people standing up behind them. Looked like they were stuck in an elevator. Back then, that was called setting the tone. That's not what happens anymore, is it? All these people out there trying to take away my guns and my four-wheelers. Sorry. All these people out there trying to take my gun and my four-wheeler. You fucking liberal snowflake. Why don't you just skip to some socialist country. Well, let me tell you something. There's no room for violence in hockey. It just shows ignorance. Okay, that's what I'm going to do from here on out. Whenever I present the liberal side, I'm going to try to do a fucking... I need another good liberal argument. You know what I mean? I don't know why the fuck we just don't switch over to solar power. all these stupid fucking rednecks rolling coal they should have solar power these fucking oil companies and corporations they don't want to do it America love it or leave it or adjust it you know as everything does as everything in the world does as it moves forward it adjusts You know, as virus adjusts. Adjust, I should say. Adjust, adjust. We're all using that hand sanitizer and all that shit. You know, what are the viruses doing? Going, well, I guess that's it for us. I guess we can't kill any more people. They're not. They're hitting the gym. They're drinking that shit up and they're getting even stronger. And there's a there's going to be a fucking look. Look how strong the flu is. Look how many fucking kids died this year. It's terrifying. Everything adjusts. All right? You can't adjust fucking, you know, amendments are adjustments to the Constitution, you dumb fucks over there. And I'm not saying, I'm not saying you shouldn't defend your guns. Oh, I'm going to be a liberal here. I'm not saying you shouldn't defend your guns. I'm just saying some adjustments maybe need to be made. You know? I don't remember. I almost said Tom Sawyer. i don't remember uh who's the guy who said the british are coming paul revere i don't remember his kid going into a log cabin you know shooting it up with a musket all right uh what do we got here hand sanitizer super virus super super super super super you guys remember super fuzz and when that came out to your cable station I have the worst fucking goddamn internet he has the worst fucking internet in the world ba da ba da ba ba da ba da ba da ba ba da ba da ba okay fact or fiction can hand sanitizer use create a super bug hand sanitizer dispensers are mounted everywhere in office buildings restaurants schools and hospitals in case you didn't know what everywhere meant we can carry bottles of it in our purses and on our keychains there we've covered male and female behavior but we but are we using it correctly and can it use be used to make a super bug bug bug bug usa today network reviews facts and fiction surrounding hand sanitizer. Myths. Kids who suck their thumbs shouldn't use hand sanitizer. It's generally okay to apply hand sanitizer on a child. Oh, geez, that just covered themselves legally. Generally, it's okay. My kid just died. Well, we didn't say totally. A taste amount from the hand is not usually a problem. nicole weed a registered nurse and a certified specialist in poison information told usa today network at most there may be some irritation in the mouth from the alcohol-based products do keep an eye on kids though oh fuck here's a goddamn advertising there we go um hand sanitizers often smells good and comes in bright colored packages that's attractive to children ingesting a large amount of it could make them very sick she said or shit-faced depending on what brand you use myth sort of myth sort of using hand sanitizer can use to create can lead to the creation of superbugs the concern about superbugs centers around a chemical ingredient found in many antibacterial products called triceosan triceosan is not found in most hand sanitizers but it is found in many antibacterial hand soaps and cleaners recent studies have found that the chemical may alter the way hormones work in the body according to federal drug admin the fda all right and may also contribute to bacterial resistance to antibiotics or superbugs is not considered an essential ingredient for many products and its use is currently under review by the fda and the environmental protection agency the fda is also made up of a bunch of people that used to work in the industries that they're supposed to be policing so who knows all right this is why i'm a moron because there's a bunch of other facts i don't even know if they're facts i just get bored but listen this is why i i don't read a lot of shit because i'm reading this on usa today and then usa today just has a bunch of like clickbait like underneath remember katherine bell from jag see where she is now google may not show you this enter any name this is on the usa today site this is supposed to be like a fucking reputable newspaper top five local solar companies check out best and worst reviews I want solar panels I want one big one right on my forehead Right Alright plowing ahead You know what the greatest thing about my daughter is right now Besides everything is She gives hugs now like legit hugs Right Like I opened the door to her room today She was in there talking to herself I opened the door to her room she just goes hi Right so I start cracking up like hi And I walk over to pick her up I pick her up she grabs like around my neck and behind my neck she grabs like a handful of my shirt like i owe her money you know and then the other hand is just sort of on my shoulder and she pulls herself into me with her head right up against my head and i'm standing like are you kidding me this is the greatest thing ever and then after like just squeezing me for like a good five the best five seconds of my life she then lets up and then gave me a kiss and then went and hugged me again it was so awesome i literally reenacted it to my laugh i was like this is what she did this morning the best part is the handful of this shirt or maybe the feeling of this this side of their face on yours i don't know what but all i can tell you is the greatest thing ever is becoming a dad it's awesome you know i know there's the lack of sleep i know your sex laugh goes out the fucking window but it's worth it it's totally fucking worth it um all right oh jesus here we go we got we have one read one read in the barren landscape um the walking dead that is my fucking advertisers lately all right it's the smartest way to hire oh guess what so as mentioned as mentioned old freckles hey there freckled face running under a tree because you don't want a sunburn getting the shit kicked out of you every outdoor recess where's a teacher when you need one um it's turning 50 the big five oh five oh club whatever happened to those fucking people they dropped me too i think um or maybe they're just hanging out maybe they're laying in the weeds um 50 years old i'm turning so i have to go to the doctor i've decided that i'm actually going to get a doctor all right i'm gonna go in there and i'll be like all right light me up let's see take some x-rays check out my heart i'm doing all of that shit right after a half a fucking century or running around eating fucking burgers and bologna sandwiches and shit i'm gonna see how much damage i've done to myself and uh hopefully they won't find anything and if they do hopefully they can fix it and that uh that'll be good i'll get a little uh you know get a little freshen up here you know got my teeth all straightened out here ready to read the fucking news i'm telling you right now connie chung has nothing on me did she have nice teeth i don't fucking remember um anyways yes i'm gonna go in there i'm gonna get my heart liver oh jesus stomach pancreas the whole goddamn thing kidneys the whole fucking thing right hey what was that movie that guy was it where they flew this spaceship around inside the person's body um the fuck was that called come on in you just knock all right all right i'm gonna get my ears checked out too what is hey nia what's the name of that movie that that dennis quaid was in where he was flying around inside somebody's body inner space yeah i gotta get that fucking procedure you know when you turn 50 now they gotta do that right they gotta do the fucking imax up your ass camera up your ass inner space i have to do all of that shit it's fucking you know how did this happen i used to be a young man but whatever i'm gonna go fucking do it because uh because i got the little kid you know if i didn't have the kid you know i think i just sort of drink myself to death you know you know what i would love to do if i didn't have any responsibilities when i was seeing those people standing there doing that america love or leave it i wish i just had a lawn chair i could have just sat under a tree across the street you know with a nice fucking adult beverage you know and i have to have a mixer though right in case the cops came by officer i'm just drinking lemonade it's gluten free and just sit there watching them it was part of me that actually enjoyed watching them come down like hey let's go down there and piss off a bunch of liberals and they come down and um i just don't think that they made the problem better they didn't make anybody on the left want to listen to what the fuck they had to say but they were morons and i don't think everybody on the right is like that and i don't think everybody on the left is a fucking lunatic one of them hairy-legged lunatics over there trying to fucking change everything that we hold dear um who knows who the fuck knows all right we're a half hour in here i got a bunch of bullshit to do today um dude my drum room is done and i can't even fucking tell you but i'm gonna tell i'm gonna try to tell you about how fucking awesome it is the first time in my life i can play drums as loud as i want and not piss anybody off okay if you're like me okay if it's just a hobby and you and every time you go to play somebody tells you to shut the fuck up and you always think why didn't i just play the ukulele why did i have to pick this instrument i'm going to tell you right now you need to you need to get a drum room I don't give a fuck how you do it. Just, you know, I was actually thinking, you know, if this thing didn't work, what I was going to do, I was just going to pay somebody to literally dig a fucking hole in the ground like a bomb shelter. All right. And just stick the whole fucking thing under the ground. Right. Put some cinder blocks, make a little room. And you literally have to go down a ladder into the fucking thing. And then, of course, I don't stop there. I'm like, well, what if I had a tunnel going from the fucking house like Al Capone? And I could just walk in like that. You have it underneath. You know, the tax man can't see it, so he can't tax you for it. You know, and then this is thing. Someday you sell the house and you don't tell anybody that it's there. Then one day somebody discovers it and then they're filming it and they're all fucking excited to see, oh, what's going to be down there? Is there going to be a safe? Is there going to be a dead body? Is there going to be a pterodactyl egg from prehistoric times? And they go down there. It's just some big stupid drum room, right? Pictures of Fred Curry and Ricky Rocket and Tommy Lee. Nico McBrain, all these people that I grew up watching. Phil Rudd. I'd leave the posters. I don't have posters of any of those people. All right. let's do uh and i've actually because because of my shoulder which i'm telling you man i got it up to about 85 here and i just can't fuck it up by wailing on the drums i've just been working on my feet and uh just the fucking bands that i'm getting into because i've just been listening to a lot of double bass now and uh my younger brothers are always into like pantera and shit And I was just like, that's too heavy for me. I can't believe I didn't get it. I was old enough I could have saw that band, and I didn't. But I've just gone fucking got like everything that they have now. And I always knew Vinnie Paul was a fucking great drummer, but Jesus Christ. Just incredible, incredible fucking drummer. And Cowboys from Hell and I'm Broken. are probably my two favorites and uh somebody my drum teacher told me about their live album that 101 proof and just how they end i'm broken with that little double bass fucking riff there in the end it's just like i want to learn how to fuck i'm gonna learn how to fucking do that i'm gonna do that in my drum room and uh that's it that's what the fuck i've been doing i've been doing that and working on the, that Meshuggah bleed song. That's what I do. I'm going to start double bass with probably the most difficult double bass song you could possibly have. I'm up to about 70 BPMs being able to play that lick with plain eighth notes, like, like that. It's not even that fast. It's more like, and that's what I do. Okay. Now that you learned how fucking boring my actual life is, other than when my kid gives me a hug in the morning. All right. 34 fucking minutes in. Let's see if I can fucking bullshit for another 26 minutes here. Oh, by the way, they added a show. There's a third show that I'm trying to sell up there in Vancouver. um i'm gonna be up there on march 7th and march 8th which is gonna be uh it's gonna be so much fucking fun i can't wait and i i i'm like chomping at the bit to start my road gigs first of all uh you know i haven't worked that much this year so far and um you know the bills keep coming in if you know what i mean you know the wife keeps spending money the kid needs something everybody's fucking you know here's this fee for this here's this fee for fucking that this is a processing fee and all that next thing you know they just complete your fucking i have no fucking idea how anybody ever retires but i understand why when you do you eat fucking dog food just trying to stretch every goddamn nickel you can going how long am i gonna live how long do i have to stretch this out All right. Sheriff dipshit. This is what this is what somebody wrote in. OK, now that I've brought up, you know, talking about guns and that type of thing, trying to keep everybody calm and relaxed and have a nice conversation where we can somehow try to find a solution. because God knows if smart people couldn't come up with a solution, I think it's time for someone of my intellect with the podcast laying here talking to nobody to come up with a solution. This is like when a celebrity says that they're going to run for president, what I'm doing here. This is what happens. All right, Sheriff Dipshit. Bill, I'll tell you who's a fuck up. The sheriff from that town. you gotta see this guy doing interviews i love how this person writes the sheriff from that town like what town you just literally you you fucking had half the conversation already in your head bill i'll tell you who's the fuck up the sheriff from that fucking town you gotta see this guy doing interviews he he talks oh my god he talks like a long island jew who runs a deli oh boy how dumb is this person there's a great way to make a point say something anti-semitic um right out of the gate that'll make people listen he went on cnn and started calling for gun control to take away attention from the fact that he had deputies puss out and not engage the shooter um all right i did read that there was stuff like that there was allegedly stuff like that going on and let me guess buddy you would have ran right in there right with your fucking nine millimeter would you would you would you fucking pull a nine millimeter on a guy who had a fucking ar-15 would you fucking do i'm just asking you that huh and if you would then what do you need an ar-15 for you're evidently not afraid um there's a lot of people that fucking freeze up and you never know what you're going to do in that time all of a sudden you start thinking of your kid who knows it's very easy to sit there being like look at these fucking people they're fucking good you know you know what i would have done uh they did the same thing a cop who shoots an innocent black guy did in the sense that they were not ready for the job they had the uniform and an idea that they were someone who could handle this they weren't dude this is all a legend the sheriff office and the shitty fbi fucking blew it when it came to all the warnings i've read that too i don't believe in taking every gun but how about not letting a delinquent kid buy a fucking semi-automatic rifle along with some stricter shit in place we need people who can do their fucking job you know if you take away the anti-semitism um in that i actually agree with most of that yeah like if if everything that they're saying is true that the people people like literally said this kid is threatening to shoot up a school he's taking pictures of himself with guns on um i just can't believe yet another kid did that there was all these warning signs and people were still allegedly ignoring it if that is the case um you know what i mean is it because it's guns i don't know what it is if somebody was on instagram going you know i'm going to take my dick out at school they were standing they were holding their fucking dick shaking it right i mean how how fucking long would you last it would be over it'd be fucking over wouldn't it i mean what do these people have to do in a way isn't that like a cry for help um all right guns are fun exclamation point my dearest mr burr i grew up in rural washington state with guns in the house and went to school with kids who had gun racks in their trucks and went hunting after school sounds like the beginning of red dawn as an adult i never owned a gun since i don't hunt and i live in a city with police minutes away so i feel like i can see both sides of the issue now there's a great fucking point with police minutes away provided you're white they're minutes away and they will help you provided you're white um i'm fucking around before me shut the fuck up i'm i'm allowed to make jokes here um yeah i get that i get that because that is the feeling i i always understood owning a gun whenever i did like college gigs and road gigs that were in the middle of nowhere like you just drive by some little farmhouse some little fucking house in the middle of nowhere and you're just like this what is to stop anybody from just driving up that driveway no matter how loud you screamed for help no one was going to hear it all right anyways he says anyways the guy goes that being said i don't think the system of rules we have now is working and i think we could do better now i don't think anybody can argue that whatever system we have is not working and because i'm saying it's not working doesn't mean i'm saying that they now have to fucking outlaw certain guns or whatever i'm just saying that you know if somebody is literally saying i'm going to shoot up a fucking school or making threats like that while with taking pictures of themselves with guns and then people bring that to the authorities allegedly And nothing was done Yeah something not working All right. My ideas are as follows. One, people who want to hunt can have bolt-action hunting rifles. One shot, one kill. Bye-bye, Bambi. Mommy wants some venison steaks. All right. You went a lot there with the reference. Two references there. why bambi you know why wouldn't you shoot the mother so then bambi has no mom isn't that how it's supposed that's the way disney did it oh this fucking hollywood liberal all right people who want to protect their homes can have shotguns for the spread obviously well the one thing about the spread is like what if they've already grabbed your fucking kid you know i don't know that's a tough fucking thing too like to shoot a gun in your house you want enough firepower to kill somebody but you don't want it to go through them through a wall and into somebody else that you actually like or maybe tolerating you know if you have in-laws living with you right into the other room and then you got to deal with that for the rest of your life and then you shot my mother-in-law honey i didn't know she's on the other i shot the fucking guy i'll tell you know something your whole fucking family is crazy i don't know why who i i ever married any of these people i should have known it man your fucking whole family had one pair of fucking shoes all right number three um all right pistols only for cops security guards or other people who have a credible reason that involves the need to occasionally shoot someone i think that's how they do it in australia not sure too lazy to confirm all right i like the honesty of that uh this all makes sense but it's also like uh what about bad people who don't give a shit about loss and then everybody turns in there i don't know and you live in the middle of nowhere and you turn in your fucking gun and then the douchebag who wants to rob you doesn't then what all right number three people who want to have fun and blow shit up can own whatever the fuck they want but it has to be delivered and kept at a licensed gun range at all times uh gun rages could become the new golf course this guy's got some interesting ideas uh show up with your buddies or the ladies rent a fucking machine gun and have a blast shoot up a bunch of paper targets dummies that look like monsters or even shoot up some burned out cars doesn't matter you're having fun safety and responsibility in a controlled environment just some ideas nothing too crazy i hope go fuck yourself safely and responsibly of course uh i like a lot of that the fly in the fucking ointment in all of this is people that aren't going to comply with it um you know and then everybody's going to turn in their fucking guns and comply with all of that except for, like, criminals or whatever. But then it doesn't say anything that you can't have a sword. What if you booby trap your house? I don't know. What are the odds that someone's going to come into your house? I have no idea. I don't fucking know. I kind of believe that now that they're out there, I don't know how you fucking bring it back. All this is doing is just, you know what it is? because there's always like the what if in all of that. Because if we did have it like that, like, you know, when you go to England, the cops don't even have guns. They just come up and they just swarm around you and they just sort of club you. But the people walking around don't really have guns. As far as I know. I don't know. Isn't it funny that I just don't look anything up and I just start talking? Gun violence in England. Let's see what this brings up. Gun crime in London increases by 42%. Gun violence rare in UK compared to the US. Well, it's because we're the best at everything. If London was better at fucking, if England was better at gun violence, we'd still be under their fucking rule, right? All right, gun crime in London increases by 42%. This is BBC News. Oh, wait, they know something because of terrorism. Now they have all, look at it. The Met Police said there was complex social reasons why more young people are carrying knives. All right, we went from guns to knives. Gun crimes in London surged by 42% in the last year, according to official statistics. the met police's figure shows that there were 2 544 gun crime offenses from april 26 2016 to april 2017 compared to 1793 offenses from 2015 until 2016 all right so i mean essentially uh you know that's kind of like fucking what would that be that's about six incidents a day no less than that five four and a half that's pretty good for a whole city though right knife crime also increased by 24 with 12,074 recorded offenses from 2016 to 2017 the meds said although crime rates were rising they remained at a much lower level level than five years ago scotland yeah registered annual rises across a number of serious offensive category All right. Offense categories in the past 12 months. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Okay. All right. I don't know what I just learned there. I have no idea. Oh, and then on the side, they have blind MMA champion takes on new fight. The American who fled gay conversation in Africa. everybody just has clickbait mom's bullying campaign leads to honesty honesty app band immigration dominates italian election there's a decent story breakthrough breakthroughs take time to sell rare photographs that changed lives oh boy all right what are we doing here okay let's go back to whatever the fuck i was just reading all right a radiologist explains why a bullet from an ar-15 is so lethal was anybody questioning i just thought they kind of bounced off you okay hey bill love what you do and you are an amazing asset to the community oh you buttered me up i'm definitely going to read this i recently found this article from the viewpoint of a radiologist concerning the power of an ar-15 uh you usually don't hear the viewpoints from people in the medical field it's the viewpoint that makes this piece unique and joy all right go to the page okay here we go what i saw treating the victims from parkland should change the debate on guns they weren't the first mass shooting victims the florida radiologist saw but the wounds were radically different as i opened the ct scan last week to read the next case i was baffled the history simply read gunshot wound i had been a radiologist in one of the busiest trauma centers in the united states for 13 years and have diagnosed thousands of handgun injuries to the brain lung liver spleen bowel and vital organ organs uh i thought that i knew that all that i needed to know about gunshot wounds but the specific pattern of injury injury on my computer screen was one that i had only seen once before in a typical handgun injury which i diagnose almost daily a bullet leaves a laceration through an organ such as the liver to a radiologist it appears as a linear thin gray bullet track through the organ there may be bleeding in some bullet fragments um i was looking at a ct scan of one of the mass shooting victims from the uh marjorie stonham douglas high school i hope i said that right did i say majority earlier who had been brought to the trauma center during my call shift the organ looked like an overripe melon smashed by a sledgehammer and was bleeding extensively how could a gunshot wound cause this much damage the reaction in the emergency room was the same one of the trauma surgeons opened a young victims in the operating room and found only shreds of the organ that had been hit by the bullet from an ar-15 a semiotic rifle that delivers a devastatingly lethal high velocity bullet to the victim nothing was left to repair and utterly devastating nothing could be done to fix the problem the injury was fatal a year ago when a gunman opened fire at the fort lauderdale airport with a nine millimeter semi-automatic handgun hitting 11 people in 90 seconds i was on call it was not until i had diagnosed the third third of the six victims who were transported to the trauma center that i realized something out of the ordinary must have happened the gunshots wounds were the same low-level velocity handgun injuries that i diagnosed every day only rapid succession set them apart and all six of the victims who arrived at the hospital that day survived routine handgun injuries leave entry and exit wounds and linear tracks through the victim's body that are roughly the size of the bullet if the bullet does not directly hit something crucial like the heart or the aorta the victim does not bleed to death before being transported to care at the trauma center chances are that we can save them the bullets fired by an air 15 are different they travel at a higher velocity and far more lethal than routine bullets from fired from a handgun the damage they cause is a function of the energy they impart as they pass through the body a typical ar-15 bullet leaves the barrel traveling almost three times faster and imparting more than three times the energy of a typical nine millimeter bullet from a handgun and air 15 rifle outfitted with a magazine with 50 rounds allows many more lethal bullets to be delivered quickly without reloading all right that's yeah it's a machine gun i've seen a handful of air 50 injuries my career years ago i saw one from a man shot in the back by a swat team the injury along the path of the bullet from the air 50 is vastly different from a low velocity handgun the bullet okay i get it i get it um all right so there you go so there's that fucking viewpoint i feel like all of a sudden doing like an npr show here like there's nothing funny anymore this is all ar-15 stuff all right here's one should we move to california hey billy leprechaun my girlfriend and i are sick of the winters in ontario uh half the year it's cold snowy and gloomy my girlfriend and i fantasize about moving somewhere that's warm year-round should we move to california is it all it's cracked up to be looking forward to seeing you in kitchener in march um you know the grass is always greener the sand is always browner um you know i i don't think california needs anybody else to move here it's really overpopulated and there's a lot of advantages to living where you're living um i been to ontario a bunch of times it's god's country up there i know it gets cold and that type as shit but the fact that you live where there's a water supply you're not i mean if you want to just live in a constant state of drought i always feel like when you live in los angeles you're like eight years ahead of the curve as far as like environmental disasters because los angeles is an environmental disaster it never should have existed we had to steal water to be here and um they're building all these skyscrapers and you know it was kind of nice for a minute or a little bit after those fucking banker cunts cooked the economy a bunch of people left la and now they're all being driven back into the city and the uh we we won we won the most congested city in the united states and that's saying something so if that's what you want to become a part of um san francisco is more expensive than uh new york city at this point i gotta tell you it's a breathtakingly beautiful state though when you go a little north of where i'm at and if you can appreciate the desert it desert is also very beautiful but uh to be living in it is is a little unsettling if you read up on it um but you know i'm in the business i'm in so i gotta fucking live out here i don't know what business you're in but um i don't know you know what i would do i would just take an awesome vacation every year with your girlfriend and just break up the winter you know take a week and like a weekend or like a week whatever the fuck you want to do and just get the fuck out of dodge just break it up that's all you really need to do because the trade-off is what you're going to be doing is now you're going to live in a climate where it's like people come here to go on vacation to go out to like santa monica and shit so um once you kind of live in where there's palm trees and shit which are not indigenous to here i've learned uh it's not really exciting to go to a lot of places after that you're like oh wow this looks like where i live you know i actually get excited by the winner it's weird i don't know i can't make these decisions for you i don't know i don't fucking i i don't pretend to know um all right back to the gun shit and this is the last time i'm doing the gun shit because i'm not just this is not going to become the gun podcast i just fine people's opinions really interesting here because i i don't uh you know i don't uh i don't own guns and that type of shit so i find it interesting all right bill i own multiple ar-15s i hate that they are being used for mass shootings contrary from what you hear their best for use is for hunting mostly varmints fox coyotes prairie dogs etc now varmints is the proper word by the way um you sent me sam ruined that word that made it made everybody who uses the word varmint sound like a fucking moron let me look up the exact definition here varmints varmint a troublesome wild animal a troublesome and mischievous person especially a child an animal considered a pest specifically one classified as vermin and unprotected by game law varmint hunting is the practice of hunting i hate when they do this a vermin generally small mammals targeted as a means of pest control rather than for food varminter may refer to a varmint hunter or describe hunting okay so this guy's using this correctly before everybody who you know you know thinks this is yosemite sam writing it they are extremely accurate and have very little recoil i'm able to shoot holes in quarters at 100 yards jesus that's fucking impressive they are very fun to take to a range and shoot with that said at gun shows and stores there's a really sad culture of losers that talk about tactical situations like their real life john rambos uh yeah they're basically like the fantasy football players you know acting like they know how to run a fucking football team except they're gun owners uh they usually look like vermin oh oh virgin basement dwellers uh the thing a lot of people don't understand about the ar-15 is that it's a modular rifle modular rifle i buy them in parts and assemble them on my own there's billions and billions of parts that would be available forever through private parties to make more rifles they they will never go away we need to get more security in schools there should be no way anyone should be able to walk into a school with the gun um it's okay so well then if you have a metal detector at the school no one could get in with the gun which sounds good but then you know we used to fucking they used to let you run around and play outside the school before you went in so wouldn't the kid just show up there all right a metal detector on the bus no i actually agree with that I think that that would be smart. Okay, so there's billions and billions of parts. Google Ruger Mini 14. Mini 14. It does the same thing. It doesn't look scary. The problem isn't the guns. My guns will never be used for hunting humans. In Minnesota, where I live, to get parts or complete ARs, you have to go to the county sheriff and get a permit to purchase card. they take about four weeks to get and have a pretty stringent background check i think it would be great if the entire country had the same process i think the second amendment is just as important as the first i wish we could all have an honest conversation about it i would say a calm conversation about it um the last one i'll read here fucked up country hey there billy strong jaw saw this on reddit it's a story about how a 15 year old girl with learning disabilities and severe ADHD got in prison for throwing apples at a mailman. Went to prison? Was sent to prison, you mean? She continued to struggle with officers through the entire process and ended up doing five years until she hung herself after the first shitty prison transfer. Transferred her to a federal prison for women. Is this true? This sounds fucking crazy. they interview a girl she knew in prison who said she would talk back to the guards because she thought it was funny the whole time she was in there she thought it was silly that she was in prison for throwing apples whatever side of the spectrum she's on she had the mentality the whole time she was in there she had that mentality the whole time she was in there at one point they put her in this harness thing that is the most ridiculous dehumanizing thing you've ever seen as well as putting on a hockey helmet so she couldn't swing her head around while tied down because they didn't want her to be a danger to herself it's at the 12 33 i don't want to watch this this sounds horrible anyways i'm thinking man our country prison system is fucked up then they said that it was somewhere in ontario and let me tell you bill canada hides behind the shitty prime minister do good douche who just said the right thing all the time meanwhile they had mental health protocol wait meanwhile they had mental health protocol than anything i've seen in a duck you mean worse you kind of left a word out about the u.s prison system that i can recall fair enough oh so canada did all of this shit Let me see here. Clicking on the link. What we've got here. I don't want to do. I don't want to watch this. I don't want to watch it. Anyways. All right. Well, there we go. So that's going to be the end of the gun debate on this fucking podcast. i don't know i hope that people just understand that people who live out in the air quote middle of nowhere you know like how they're living and how they have to defend themselves is different than you like living in a city um you know and then they can also go out and hunt and they know how to hunt which is a a you know probably the most important skill you could have you know if the shit hits the fan the fact that you know how to fucking go out and get something to eat without going to a supermarket i don't know i don't know i think listen to all of you guys there has we just have to have a better system of uh i don't know how to do it how do you how do you make sure how do you make sure that crazy people don't get guns so then regular people who just want to enjoy them and fucking hunt or just shoot up a bunch of shit or whatever or they just don't trust the government which i don't think is paranoid uh considering what has been done to our food supply the pharmaceutical companies bankers insurance companies how they just kind of are able to do whatever the fuck they want to do and if you really look at a lot of the shit that they've done to this country it's it's acts of terrorism that a lot of terrorist groups would fucking jerk off to okay poisoning the food supply uh you know making americans sick cooking the economy all of that type of shit uh putting shit in the water supply i mean that's those are all terrorists that's shit the terrorists fucking jerk off to um so i understand why people would not trust their government at that fucking point I don't know. I don't know what all I know is that after a while it gets overwhelmingly depressing and I don't know what to do about it. And and that's it. I'm going to go play with my kid and go play some drums. That's it. God bless all you. God bless all you responsible fucking gun owners out there. God bless all you people out there who feel like if we just got rid of all of them. You know what? God bless everyone and go fuck yourselves. Each and every one of you. Those of you who have guns and those of you who don't. alright this has been a fucking moron to try to get to the bottom of something and he failed miserably I'll check on Thursday and I gotta start watching some Bruins games I gotta figure this out okay every morning I'm watching Puppy Dog Pals and Vampirina with my daughter maybe I can get her to watch a little maybe I'll just start watching the first period that's better than no period alright I'll talk to you on Thursday Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.