Ep 68: New to Swinging? Here's How Not to Suck

Find us at vanilla swingers.com and you'll find Kat's only fans page there too. You wish. Hey Kat. Yeah Leo. I'm going to record one of those silly disclaimers that you put at the beginning of the podcast. Real advisory sticker. Let's go because this is going to be explicit. Oh yeah we're going to talk about lots of sex. Lots of bad language. We might even have sex on the podcast. We might have. Listening to the noise of our love making. There might be nudity. But you can't see it on the podcast. Doesn't matter. You can hear it. You can hear the nudity. We might corrupt you if you're under the age of 18. That's the disclaimer. Don't listen. We're not professional. What else? And yeah we're not professionals. We know nothing. Absolutely nothing. And if you want to try to sue us? Well we don't have any money either. Because this is bite-size and commercial free. We're not trying to make any money. It's fun. So if you like it then tune in and listen. Subscribe. Yeah. Word. I think that was my stomach rally. Somebody give me a ham sandwich. You remember when we were in a dive bar down in Mexico and I sang karaoke to that tune? Is that a flashback? Barely. I got your tongue. We were at a pub crawl so why would I remember that? We were in like the seedy part of town. It was like a dive bar crawl. And that place was stocked with ringers and I don't know if it's like a cultural thing but at least in this particular dive bar they sang like songbirds in there. That happens all the time at karaoke. That's true. That is a thing. It's a thing. And of course I get up to karaoke and I don't even know the words. I'm sorry. Hello woman. And I remember when I got off the stage everybody looked at me like saucers in their eyes and they were like get that gringo out of here. He doesn't know how to sing a lick. I'm surprised they didn't hog tie my ass and dump me at the Tijuana border. Yeah, that's where you belong. Mm-hmm. You and Alicat. Remember I arm wrestled that drunk guy? I do. Did you win? Yeah, I did but he was way stronger than I was expecting. He was a sloppy drunk too. Yeah, he kind of had like a beer belly and everything and I mean we speak Spanish pretty well but we kind of got into like a jovial grudge match and then the next thing you know he was taking it really serious and it took about everything I had to go ahead and pin him. But it was like a matter of pride. So good times. So we're going to go down to LA. We're going to arm wrestle. Sing some bad karaoke. We're going to arm wrestle. We might wrestle. But this last weekend we were in the city by the bay. We were visiting a friend of ours. Who sure you're a good lord. Yeah. She's not a friend of ours. She's given off thrumple bars. We went to a really cool bar. Mm-hmm. The three of us, right? We're quite in our local area so we're not concerned about PDA, right? We're not going to know anybody there. So we're chill with that. It's fun when there's three of you and you're touching. It's fun. You get some side glances from the people sitting next to you. Like is that a thrumple in the wild? And so we were chatting with his waiter and Nathan Great. He's super cool. Yeah, let's talk about Nathan Great. Okay. This was another part of our weekend where it's the spaces between. It's kind of who you meet experiences you have, right? You got to grab them. Nathan Great is this flamboyant guy that works as a waiter at this bar. And we like this bar for our meet and greets either for new people or as a place to go get a drink with a play partner. It's just a chill, loungy vibe. And the first time we met him, I think we were meeting a guy there and we didn't end up playing with him, but we met Nathan Great. And he is the coolest motherfucker. The first time we met him, he came to our table and he had like this presence. I had to call him out and say, I like your energy. You just kind of like own the space. And we kind of hit it off and he invited us to a party in the Castro later that evening. We weren't able to do it because we had other plans that night in the city, but it sounded like a lot of fun. I just remember him saying, tell him that Nate the Great sent you. Like his presence was so well known. You go to the Castro, mention Nate. And you just say, everybody knows you're Nate. They're all going to know who he is. We're like, okay, so then we can belong. So fast forward. We see him again. We're sitting there with Pushe Galore. Doing a little bit of PDA. In walks Nate because, well, that's where he works. And he like greets us like we've been besties for years. We proceed to exchange phone numbers. He's showing us some video of some burlesque show that goes on kind of Fridays and Saturday nights. He's inviting us to join him. He's like, what are you doing tonight? We're like, well, we got some plans. And he's just fun. And so we got a party with Nate the Great. And that's what the red threads. Tell me about that. The red thread theory is when something comes into your life, it happens for a reason, right? Either an experience you're having, a person you're meeting. It must be meant to be. And you should just seize those moments. Does that have anything to do with six degrees of separation and Kevin Bacon? I have no idea why it's called the red thread. What is that anyway with Kevin Bacon? How did he become like the original meme? I don't know. Are they still going to say that when he's like 80 years old? He probably gets a kick out of that today. Six degrees of separation. Kevin Bacon. And then Nate the Great. Well, he's a handsome guy and Kat was kind of hitting on him. I was kind of hitting on him. I just thought maybe he goes both ways. He doesn't play for that team. He goes both ways, you know. So Kat decided she was going to try to see if she can get him straight out of his lane. I did. I was really flirting. And if anybody could, I don't know. Kat, I give you better than even odds. He's just a really chill guy. You're pretty persuasive. And he said the hostess asked him, do you think they're a threple? And he answered, he yuff thing. Was it that obvious? We kind of had our hands draped all over each other. We got a really big kick out of that. And we weren't trying to look like a threple. We were just chilling. We were just hanging. But that was a lot of fun. And then we went back to our place and stayed up till what? Four in the morning? Hashtag threple vibes. Oh yeah, I'm here for it. It is an official theory. It's called the Red Thread Theory. And it's a belief that there's an invisible red cord, like a thread, that connects people that are destined to meet and have a significant relationship, whether it's romantic or otherwise. Oh, well, that's a very technical explanation for six degrees of separation and Kevin Bacon. Yes. So we're talking about how you just have to open your mouth and make friends with people. You don't know who's going to be in your life if you just don't grab those moments. Well, one of the things that we are really loving about our lifestyle journey at this point is the human element. It's just wonderful. We didn't used to be like that. It was so about the physical, sexy fun. It doesn't even matter who it's with. Wear a mask. Don't tell me your name. I don't want to talk to you. And now you've got to stop mentioning the wear a mask. I'm telling you, mention that. I have secondhand embarrassment. People are going to be like, what are you even talking about? Wear a mask. Well, we're going to talk tonight about newbie tips. Yeah. One of the tips is don't make your play partners wear a mask in the bedroom. It's dehumanizing. They didn't seem to mind. I just think back to when we first started our journey. And you know, if you go to random clubs, sometimes you have experiences with people. You don't really talk much. You just have an experience and then, you know, you kind of leave. Well, it's a difference between being a one night stand couple and a friends with benefits and we like the relationships. The friends with benefits is the good. Anybody who's starting their lifestyle journey. I'm telling you right now, keep moving it towards a friends with benefits. It's so much better. And it is such like minded people, even people that you are not playing with because we do actually have friends that we're not playing with that are in the lifestyle swing or sphere. And they are just amazing group of people. You're funny because when you say it like that, you make it sound like, believe it or not. We have some friends that we actually don't play with. Well, we wondered, we muse. Can you be friends with people in the lifestyle that you don't play with? I'm here to say yes. Yeah, I think so. So next time we're up in the Bay, we're going to party with Nate DeGrate and maybe we'll bring Pusher to push her galore. What do you think? Yes. And I'm really not going to try to get in the bedroom. Come on. Challenge accepted. He likes you. Yeah, I guess he did actually. That don't work, but you know, he's fun to hang out with. The term that he used was I catch as in like pitch and catch. Right. I don't know what that is anything to do with me. And I don't think it's a picture. You can pitch to me. I'm going to sit over here and think about what I've done. And then something really interesting happened. What? And this is something that's happened so many times that you have to attribute it to our Swinger Guardian Angel, Stuart Scott. We do have a Swinger Guardian Angel. I hope you guys do too. Oh yeah. Yeah, there's no question about it. And sometimes we speculate it's probably one of our deceased relatives that are taking a interest and care. That used to be a swinger. They were not. They were like a closet swinger we didn't know. I mean, they could have. That's got to be what it is. Oh my gosh. The things that happen or don't happen are unbelievable. Yeah, because we're too dumb and clumsy to actually be going along without running into every pothole in front of us. But this one thing that keeps cropping up is while we're in the middle of play, especially when we're doing like an MFF cat keeps getting people sliding into our DMs, blowing up our phone in the middle of play. Manicorns. That's it. And they're kind of pursuing you. And it is so hot because, you know, we're in the middle of an MFF. That's Leo's turn, right? He's getting 60. I'm getting 40. And I'll have that carnal male attention come through like, Hey, what are you doing? And then I might say I'm in the middle of a unicorn encounter, you know, that's hot. Halfway through, we always find ourselves going cat, what are you doing over there? And you're over there like on the iPad and you're like typing something out. I almost invariably say it's his turn. I can't wait to have my turn or then they might say, I can't wait to have my turn with you. You're like sexting in the middle of play. And it's so hot. And it gives you a zing. Yeah. So I had a little zinger this weekend. And that's happened at least like three or four times. And it just, do you know twice the last two? Now this is one, the other time it was with someone we had yet to meet, but it was kind of on the horizon. Like we were going to meet on the next day or the next week. And that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, like, oh my God. Now let's talk about that. In this case, we're talking about Stepson, the porn dude. Uh huh. Yeah, that's not all you can't got your tongue because yeah. So he has slid back into my DM. He's not a content creator. He's porn guy. I know. Like you look about, he's got like almost like an I am DB page and he is cute and he is young and not only that Stepson. Why am I stuck in the dryer? He is sliding into my DMs like without me. Oh, he wants to get his hands on you. He writes every day. How are you doing? I think that's gonna happen. So how's your day going? It's kind of feels like the countdown to next weekend. Oh, I am so excited. And like it's my bucket list. When you're in LA, I guess you're going to play with a porn star. Yes, that's the plan. Are we going to make some porn? Because we've been doing that lately. I would like for you to make some porn with us. Yes. You would like me to do something with you and him. I want you to hold him. Hold up. Wait a minute. Something ain't right. Well, you want me to be the cameraman. Wow. Strange. I just got demoted over here. Strange, OK. Oh, OK. You guys want to know? Apparently, I'm going to be the dryer repairman. And I'm going to show up late to the party. I could let him try to get you out of the phone. OK, while let's say I'm being spit roasted. I ain't going to be no cameraman. No, I said he could hold it. Oh, he could hold it. And from his point of view, maybe while I'm going down on him, then maybe we could share. And you're going inside of me. Camera duties. Yeah, I'll split time with him. How about that? OK, I'm so excited. Then we're going to go to a plush party. Apparently, it's at a mansion. I called a mansion. It's like 15,000 square feet. We are so excited because that is so not our scene, but it sounds real bucketlessy. Looks like a spaceship made out of concrete. It's like a round building. And you know that's not our brand because we're more like the Beverly Hillbillies. I have to tell you that at this moment, I'm not going to lie. I'm more excited about our planned play opportunities than I am about the plush party. Yeah, because our play opportunities have nothing to do with the plush party. Well, the other play opportunity is a we're going to call them the SoCal couple. They seem like a lot of fun and they seem like a really cool couple. So we're going to see what comes to that. We are really excited about that one as well. Interestingly enough, though, corn on the cowboy. Oh, the old corn on the cowbomboji. You didn't know what that was the first time you saw it. No, basically he had a corn and a star. And I didn't realize that that meant porn star. I'm learning all these things. But now you know, I know, I feel like I'm being pursued by a porn star. And I don't even know why, but I'm because you're being pursued by a porn star. And it would just see this is really bad karma, really bad, Juju, for us to even talk about it. But you know what? Like you said, it's like winning the lottery. Nobody really wins the lottery. And so you might as well have fun thinking about how you're going to spend all your millions. So I might as well have fun talking about possible corn on the cow. So we're going to LA. I feel like I got to get fit. LA woman. I'm going to start running on the treadmill. And then man, you know, I was thinking about that. And it used to be if you listen to the previous pause, you heard us drinking Slurpees. Oh my gosh. How many times were we doing a Slurpee and a Twix bar? Sometimes we're a little obnoxious about it. Yeah, I only did that one episode. You just do it. In the editing room, I thought that was terrible, terrible, terrible. I wouldn't want to hear myself crunching on every single night. Like we were going to pod. We did pod every night. We would go to 7-Eleven and Leo had a Slurpee craving. And I don't remember the last time I had a Slurpee. And you know what that means? Leah is on a constant diet. I think that when I think about those Slurpee days, we probably were potting more, playing less. And now we're playing more and potting less. You're so bad. You're so bad. I'm just going to sit over here. Big bad. Why have you been doing that lately? I share you're half the rate. The punchline and then you deliver it. Thank you. It's a woman's world. So it's my world. You're welcome. I'm the main character. You're the main character. Well, I think that's true. And do you know what's really fun? What's really fun? We just heard from Pussy Galore. No, you have to say it like pushy, pushy, like pushy. You know, it's a strong counter with a Scottish accent. Pushy, pushy, pushy galore. Almost like you have an underbite. Pushy, pushy, pushy galore. I did it. You said it. Yeah. We just heard from her. What else did you do that? She really enjoyed the spit roasting and going down with me. You know what? That's my favorite position. I got to say is when I'm inside of you, thrusting and you're going down on another girl, so you're basically being spit rose. I love it. And I kind of crouched my head down beside your head and I watch it while I'm thrusting. Because it's girl, girl, fantasy unlocked. Leo's had it his whole life. Most, I guess, red-blooded American males do. I was just my life. And I like spit rose also. They go the other direction. Oh, yeah. It's amazing. I don't know what we're talking about here. I'm talking about two cocks in the room and I'm the spit rose. Oh, yeah. OK. Yeah. Love that. I feel you. There's a million positions that you can do in that realm. And it's also I thought you were trying to put me like in a spit rose with Nate the Great. Only if we're lucky. I was like, I'm going to party with him. I'm going to have my slurpee and my twix bar. He's taking us down to the tenderloin. But when I think about those days, it's called good trouble. We are going to get into some good trouble. Yeah. The best kind of trouble. Yes. I think back to those slurpee days and they really just represented a very easy time. It felt so relaxed. So we're not easy anymore? No, because sometimes it feels like we're going a hundred miles an hour. I know we've said that before. We're doing a whole hell of a lot in a really short amount of time. And the reason I say that is because it feels like a week goes by in a blink of an eye. And I want to put that out there because people are listening. Oh, I know what you're saying. Go ahead, Kat. Go ahead. Go on. I know I like this. No, I think it's cute. So come on. Get in here. If we ever miss a week, don't think, oh, my God, what happened to Cat Leo? Is there a relationship on the rocks? Are they out of the lifestyle? It just means you'll get caught having an MFFFFFFF without Kat. Leo's probably a jail. And it just means that we had too much fun with Nathan Grape. And Kevin Bacon is in here somewhere, right? With a red thread. Oh, definitely. We are all holding a red thread. We know why you front run the punch lines is because I don't know why. I know we talk. Yes, all of this stuff in our everyday normal daily lives. Like talking about what we're going to talk about. And you're like, it's just our life moment. I've heard this story before. Let me get it out there. We don't play at any of this. So he starts talking and I'm like, oh, this is what he's talking about. And sometimes you're like, I don't remember. I thought this was the first time I thought I'd make that up out of the blue. Today, yesterday, back then we were potting more than playing. And it was just kind of resounded. We're like, wow, that sounds so cool. And you're like, that's really how it was. But we want you to know that if for some reason we were to skip a week, don't freak out, nothing terrible is going on behind the scenes. We're probably just playing more than we're potting. And that's a good thing, right? I haven't hit him with the frying pan or anything. Don't worry about it. We're all good. Oh, OK. Yeah. Well, this is because we have radical honesty. We're getting more radically honest. And it's been really quite amazing. And so today we're going to talk about newbie tips. It didn't even seem like a smooth segue. Radical honesty, that's actually a newbie tip. Isn't that the red thread was newbie tips? No, actually, that you just ram that in there. Sometimes I ram things in. No lubricant. You know, I talk so much during play encounters. Well, you do. You're like a director, especially with the film. So we took some film right on the phone because pushy, pushy. Guller. Pushy, pushy Guller. Ever. She was down for that. And so we share it with her. And when you go down on a girl, you need to start using your fingers too. Yeah, I haven't learned. I'm going to practice on myself. Cat will make you squirt from halfway across the room. I think you should make me learn how to make myself squirt. I will. I'm not sure if you can do that. Is that like tickling yourself? I'm not sure that's possible. I could touch myself down there and it feels good. That would be amazingly. I can make myself go with my fingers. Why can't they be inside of it? It's an awkward angle. I'm not. I got long fingers. OK, all right. Well, let's make it happen. Let's be a bucket list. Anyway, as I'm watching these couple of videos that I made on the phone, I'm talking through them. Like sometimes it's dirty talk to them. Sometimes it's just random talking. And I'm like, I don't shut the hell up. Well, you know, it's especially hot is sometimes you see your limbs in the photo. So you'll be filming and all of a sudden you'll put your foot up on the bed or you'll reach out and like put your fingers through her hair while she's doing something unspeakable. Yeah. And it's hot. It's like, I mean, it is really hot. You know, you're having a threesome and the cameraman's part of it. Who knew? So we've never done that with a guy. So we might try that on the very next one. Yeah. So we're talking about newbie tips. Hit me. How I feel good. Sugar and spice. Threesome twice. We only had one threesome this weekend and it was really enough. We don't need more. We are really going for quality, not quantity anymore. Although Pusher said, I found quality, but now I want the quantity too. You know what she said? Yes. So I don't know, we're going to have to be more quantity, paying more visits to San Francisco. But I mean, we've got LA next week. And then what are we doing after that? Two weeks after that, we're going back to Vegas. We want to get into some more Vegas trouble. Los Vegas. Yeah, I'm definitely looking forward to that. We want to see if we can see Rusky again. You mean Vlad the Impaler. Yes. OK. I need some impaling. All right. Am I going to hold the camera? Is that how this works? Yes. This isn't like advice in the sense of what's the most important advice to the least important advice. It's not in any particular order, but we feel like we actually can give you some advice because our first advice one was like we were like two months into the lifestyle. I don't know. It's been almost two years since our first club visit. See, my brain is over here wandering and I'm wondering, do you think we're still characterizes newbies? I don't think so. Because I feel like we're getting close to a threshold where, especially in the sort of social aspect of the game of the lifestyle. If somebody heard, we'd only been really actively playing for a year and a half. That still sounds really new compared to people who are like five years, seven years, ten years, 20 years. But in the amount of things we've done, I don't think we're newbies anymore. I feel like we have a lot of practice, whether it be also the social aspect of things, but also in the bedroom. I think that the way we look at ourselves, it doesn't feel as newbie. And yet I still feel like we definitely have the newbie spirit inside of us. Yes. And we do still like playing with newbies. 100 percent. Because there's such a fumbly nature to it. And we are all for that. I think we actually said that when it comes to playing with newbies, probably the best newbies that we like to play with are people who would say, I've never done X, Y, Z before, but I think I'd like to try it. But take me, take me. And we can just do that fumbly energy and go really slow. And and also there's something really nice about the organic-ness of not saying, are you DTF or do you do this? Not knowing where it's going to go. Yes, I feel like we would go in with no expectations. And we would just be as happy to do very little. In the end, maybe you do a little bit more, maybe you know some boundaries, but it's spontaneous and organic. And that's so much sexier than saying, do you get blowjobs? Do you do full swap? Do the girls go down on each other? You just figure it out in the moment. Yeah. That reminds me of newbie tip number one, go slow. I cannot stress enough. It is not a race to the finish, to the full swap. You need to go as slow as a slowest partner. And you need to be content to let it evolve organically. Yeah, I mean, we've given that advice like a half a dozen times. I know, but it is so important. It is so important. And I think one of the more important reasons to that is because your tastes change over time. What you start out doing is not going to be your play style necessarily. That's called your boundaries are going to evolve. Maybe your standards get a little bit better. You will evolve. You are not going to be the same person a year from now in the lifestyle as you are today. The amount of times newbies say we went straight to 100 on our first experience and it was a bad experience. You don't want that to happen. And you go so slow like every boundary nudge you do, whether it's this is the first time I kiss someone. This is the first time I sucked on a girl's breast. This is the first time I received oral gave oral. If every one of those is a new boundary nudge, you have the possibility of new NRE every single experience. Well, pushy pushy girl. She's doing a lot of girl girl stuff for the very first time, which by the way is very, very hot because so hot. She's basically saying I really haven't done girl stuff before. And you're sort of initiating her into that for the first time. I am a newbie in that regard. I mean, perfect for that because what 18 months ago, you had to be kissed a girl and I liked it. And now you're talking about making a girl squirt with your fingers. Cherry cola. Yeah. Did we mention that? But then on the other hand, I'd love to be with the sapphic swingers where they could initiate me. Yeah, you're going to look like a newbie in the dungeon of the sapphic swingers and they're going to descend on you. And I'm just going to sit over in the corner and watch apparently. Maybe I'll feel it. We'll see. We can ask them. You want to talk about boundaries, of course. And what's important about that is not the kind of stuff you're talking about, how in the moment you don't necessarily want to discuss with your play partners. This is exactly what I'm going to do. We're talking about boundaries with your partner. Well, you mean keep your boundaries. Don't change your boundaries in the middle of play. That's right. Hard and fast rules. So if you don't kiss, don't kiss in the middle of play, unless you guys have given each other the green light. This is what we're going to do. But I'm going to give some newbie tips that are off the cuff that we sort of gathered almost more recently, you know, because we've been talking about as we're here at this point in our journey, what are some things that we're reflecting on that have worked out the best for us? And right off the bat, I got to say, if you're a couple of starting out your newbie journey, have threesomes. I am an absolute proponent of threesomes. They are the goat. And I said it in a previous pod that if we had just narrowed our play styles to limited to couples, we wouldn't have had half of the sexy fun that we're having. It is so much easier to arrange threesomes, especially if you're just talking about an MFM, bringing an extra male into the bedroom. And you get to keep your eyes on your partner the whole time. There's no distraction. Yeah. I mean, when you're a newbie start now, you have control issues. I mean, if you're like us, we're control freaks. You're absolute control freaks. And when you're starting out, you have fears of somebody else doing something to nudge your boundaries. And so you want to keep your hands grip tightly to the steering wheel. So you have some sort of control in a threesome. You're not doing a swap where your partner is distracted and you're distracted with somebody else. Your eyes are on your partner at all times. And you're just doing spaghetti. It's the focus of the entire encounter. But the other thing is, is that singles are so much more intention. They are used to putting themselves out there in the dating pool for rejection. And they have a little bit thicker skin. Couples tend to be a lot more fear of rejection. And so they tend to navigate the lifestyle dynamics with, I don't know, more of like that middle school style dance. I agree with you. But really what you're saying is because unicorns are hard to find. You're telling everybody to go have an MFM, which is great and fantastic. But at the end of the day, your guy is going to want to have some female attention. And if a unicorn is hard to find, you can't just do that forever, never, never, never, never. So you're going to need to go to the couple dynamic. And that leads into the next biggest piece of advice. You want to start at a Swinger club. You do not want to start on the apps. Yeah, that would be one of my off the cuff advice is that the apps have been incredible for us at this point in our lifestyle journey. The apps are where it's at for us, but we did not get on the apps until a full year into play. Yeah, with that said, you don't want to start there. And the reason why is many, many, many fold. But the very first thing you should do is go to a Swinger club. It's titillating, it's exhilarating. You're seeing naked bodies writhing around, having sex for the first time ever. It's sensory overload. But what's really fantastic is the couples that are there are intentioned. They are there because they want to play unlike the ones on the apps. Yeah. And let's talk about a couple of interesting factories that we found about the apps on an app like Field. I think we've discovered that a lot of the single girls on there, there's a lot of just dipping the toe in the water that you find there. And they're not as intentioned because I think maybe they're fresh in the middle of a divorce proceeding. They might throw up their profile. They are more looking for hooking up probably with a single guy as opposed to a couple, and then a couple might fall into their lap and like, oh, that might be fun, but they're not as intentioned. But people that go to the club, whether it's a single person or a couple, they are intentioned. Here's a couple of thoughts about Swinger club. I want to slurpee right now. You shut up. And some twix. Oh, my God. That was just such a simpler time. Oh, my gosh. I felt like we could do a string of podcasts just sitting on our head. And today we're busy. We're tired. We're actually a little bit wrecked from last night. We have no business doing this, but we are still in NRE because not only are we in NRE from our play encounter, our situation ship, our thruple vibes. We also had various friends, some are play partners, some are just friends, a lifestyle sliding into our DMs and it's so hot. Like it adds to our NRE. Yeah. And that's the other thing that Stuart Scott throws in there is sometimes when we're on the way back home on the road, on the road again, people start slipping in and just sending some messages here and there. And it's like a big dopamine dump. It is. It's such a zinger because we're in NRE. And then all of a sudden the amount of times that you have the phone in your hand and you turn to me and you exclaim, it's always an exclamation. And you're like, exactly. And I'm always like on the edge of my seat, maybe some dude that you wanted to see, but there was no repeat. Lazarus has been risen from the dead of Phoenix rising. And then you're like, no, that's not who it is. Usually you're pretty porn star. Yeah, usually you're pretty happy when I say who it is, though. Always. Yeah, because I'm totally on the edge of my seat, like, hit it. I'm always waiting for a guest. Yeah, I'm not good at that department because, well, they span all over the place. I can't really guess a star in the constellations. They're all over the map right now. This one actually has in our contact list, a star. So that's kind of funny. Who? Stifler's mom. Oh, that's right. Yeah, she's living in our DMs, too. Yeah, she might have been playing hard to get. She is playing hard to get. We're chasing you, lady. Swinger clubs, if you're wondering when to go, go on a couple's only night. 100 percent. Our first Swinger Club, domestically, we pull on chickened out. I'm thinking of Stifler's mom over here. I haven't heard a word you're saying. All I think it is. Did you know I get to be Stacy's mom? Yes, I know. You had porn guy posting on Insta, and I think he said it to the music of Stacy's mom. No, that was fake. That was porn. I'm the real thing. So I'm gonna be Stacy's mom. Yeah, but when am I going to get Stacy's mom and Stifler's mom in the bedroom? I don't know. We're working on it. You know, part of the reason is because Stifler's mom, she's not really in the lifestyle. She might be E and M, but she's definitely not a Swinger. And so it was sort of like finding her in the wild. I mean, she's given a seminar at Naughty in New Orleans. Right. She had no intention of playing at Naughty in New Orleans. We do that a lot where we find people. Oh, I mean, all the single guys are not in the lifestyle. They're barely even having threesomes. We like it. We actually like it. It's the newbie fumbly energy. I won't go through the list of people, but yeah, there's been some that have been some highlights for us. And I personally like how about my boss, babe? I don't think she's in the lifestyle whatsoever right now. No, she's deleted her accounts on all the Swinger apps. I think we lost a validation. We did. Damn it. OK. But we gained one. Oh, yeah, we did. Wisconsin. Wisconsin in the house. We are really struggling to stay on topic here. I just wanted to mention a couple more things about as we have lack of sleep, the Swinger clubs go on a couple of only night because the first time we check it out. You're saying don't go on a singles. Yeah, we check it out. We were afraid to go to the Red Rooster in Vegas because they allowed single males. You also could go on a slow night. You wonder, should I go on the slow night or the busy night? Go both. Go on the slow night. Get a feel for it. Get the lay of the land. And then when you go back on a busier night, you already feel more comfortable there. So see, I'm over here and everything you're saying sounds like a retreat. I feel like you could go through one of our previous pods and find a lot of this. I want to give you new information. So go to Naughty in New Orleans. OK, definitely go to Naughty in New Orleans. That's near me advice. Absolutely. Absolutely. It's so cheap. I think if you can't afford Naughty in New Orleans, then you probably can't afford the lifestyle. You should go. It's a lot of fun. You'll see us there. We're going. We're going to probably go every single year until we're a lot of money. And like a wall, it's like two thousand dollars. Whereas go to a swinger club. It's 100 bucks, you know, it's actually eight hundred dollars for the ticket, right? Yeah. And then you guys can come and you can stay in our room. Deal. Deal. Look for the blow up dolls and you can crash on our. Do they have a couch? No. Well, you can crash it. Two beds. Two beds. They actually had two beds. Did we have two beds? That's one reason alone. We've got a Naughty in New Orleans over Bliss Cruz. Bliss Cruz, you ain't coming in our cabin. There's not enough room in the bed. There certainly wasn't enough room in the bed for three people. No. But we made it work. We did make it work. That's another bit of newbie advice. I definitely recommend your own unicorn. Make it work. Even if there's not enough room in the bed, spoon. Yeah. Spooning is really underrated. Become a professional spooner. Here's one comparison is the thief of all joy. Well, that's true. Is that the truth? You better stop with that. Oh, but they're doing this and it sounds so hot and I want to be like them. Well, I'll go one for you. Own your own damn experience. Here's the thing is when somebody retells their story, they're going to. Well, it's sort of like Insta, right? Where everybody you're going to put your best face forward. You've heard this one before. I see. And basically, basically they're living their curated life out there. We're giving you guys our curated life. So don't listen to us at all. Oh, no, we're going to give you the words and all. But in a similar fashion, some people in the lifestyle, when they go ahead and they give a recounting of what they did, oftentimes, if you saw what went on behind the curtain, it might, you know, the thing about it is like this. When somebody says, oh, hey, we played with this person, I think your mind immediately goes to what are probably the hottest person I've ever seen. Right. You guys are going to think every single person that we're talking about is a hot person we've ever seen. We're going to think this porn star is like some only fans model. And instead, he's going to be like Ron German. He's got like hair on his back. Not. He's so cute. Oh, come on. Admit to our listeners. He's got hair on his back. In reality, I think our mind, we want to fill it in with the fantasy. And so when you hear other people say things, you automatically think, well, that must have been hot. Or they're having an experience that you haven't had yet. Don't let that be a thief of your joy. Enjoy what you're doing allows a bit of envy, looking over somebody's shoulder, comparing your situation with theirs. Your journey is not someone else's journey. You have to go on your own pathway. The truth of the matter is if you saw it in person, it would probably take some of the shine off of it. It's just for that person. It's a highlight. I know. But if they saw a porn star, they'd actually think he was cute. They'd say you go. I'll give him that. OK. You go girl. Just bump through the mic. Yeah. Corn on the cob. What do you think about using vegetables as sex toys? Corn on the cob, cucumber cucumber is the most obvious, right? A banana. No, bananas are too sweet. And I think that's going to give girls use infections. Silent. We got to worry about that stuff. I poured champagne on someone because she needed lube eggplant. And I thought I've got champagne handy. And apparently that wasn't a good idea. Yeah. She howled like you just threw acid on her. But JJ, I was like, I don't know. That was overdramatization. I don't know. I mean, I feel like you could put some champagne. I can't think of any body part where you could throw champagne on me. Where I'd howl. I mean, if I put it on my JJ, you'd lap it up. Oh, hell yeah. So I wouldn't get no use of infection because you'd be lapping it. What about inanimate objects as sex toys? Champagne bottle. I just rather some fingers and mouths. You ever seen somebody do a Louisville slugger? That's I don't know. That's an advanced move. Yeah, that ain't going to happen for me. Although, yeah, we probably had a couple of people we played with who could take a Louisville slugger. Where are you going? I'm not going to name names here, but yeah. OK, we're getting back on track here. Bucket list. One night stands are really the way to start because your experiences are going to be so fraught with emotion because you're going to be so electrically charged. It's probably better that it's not the friends with benefits to begin because you are going to fixate. Yeah, when the energy burns for the first time, it burns so. It's like wildfire burning out of control. Like I was just on fire fan the flames down below. And that's also one of the reasons. That was our first hell yeah. Yes, that didn't even have any oral people. It was fingers. That's why you got to go slow, because if you jump straight to it, let's say you had a porn star and you went full, you would come away fixated on that. And, you know, your partner may have a hard time dealing with that because he's ramming her with his foot long horse cock. And he's filming a POV and now you're playing it back the next day. And she looks like she's walking on air. But you're saying that if you're a year, a year and a half in two years in, you can handle those emotions that your partner is feeling a whole lot better because you have time to realize that everything's situational. Everything is fleeting. You know, the bottom line is you get a little desensitized is the more times you ride the roller coaster. I like to ride things. I think that you get used to certain things. I also think that that's part of the reason that after a certain amount of time, you tend to escalate. You tend to nudge boundaries. Because I remember the very first guy I kissed. I remember the very first guy that I gave him a blow job. All those things are kind of forever etched into my brain. And I remember the time asking Leo, are you sure you're OK with this? Like in the moment, are you OK with this? Like we were nudging boundaries one by one. And I think the more that you do them after a while, you say, OK, well, what's next? And so going slow helps you kind of gain traction to where or you get desensitized. It also helps to prolong the enjoyment of it. It does. You appreciate the little things for so long. I get it. Some people just go straight to full. And that works for them. That works for them. And I don't necessarily think that there's a right way and a wrong way to do things. We're just telling you the way we like it. And I'm telling you why I couldn't imagine having done like straight to that kind of thing. I just enjoy the every little nudging of boundary is a new absolute dopamine zing. Yeah, no doubt. As opposed to, oh, God, I haven't done that before. Every single thing you do like that. It's just it's. So when are we doing a Louisville slugger? I'm not doing a Louisville slugger. I will do you. Oh, OK. My play partners. I'm just going to volunteer for that. I'll DVP and then that's two at the same time. Oh, that's true. That's pretty big. Yeah, I'm not even sure that's the equivalency that might have to do airtight. I might need three. That would be funny if DVP you could do three dicks at the same time. You can't. And you're Vijay Jay. Yeah, well, there's triple DVP. I've seen what the girl is on all four. OK. Doggy style position. And then one guy is on his back inside. One guy is behind. And then there's a third guy. So the guy up top, he has to go way up top. No, no, no. In the middle, all in the V, not in the A. Yeah. Are you kidding me? I think Nate the Great is actually in the middle. No, yeah, he doesn't want to be in of a JJ. Oh, that's true. He might like an ass, though. Yes, an ass and it is an ass, right? I don't know. That's a good question. Right. Is an ass an ass? Is it? I mean, I know if you're attracted to men, if you're attracted to women, you've got your proclivities. I get it. He's just really cute. Well, we're going to have fun. Asses, though. I mean, you know, guys, asses are like Harry. They are Harry. But much like a slice of fuzzy. But little ass, it's a really great ass. So when did you see triple DVP? Are you like doomscrolling and you have to go so far that you're like, I got to go really extreme? Like, what would you come across? If your husband is out there and he's telling you that he hasn't seen triple DVP, he's lying to you. I think you're just a perv. If you go and you do you busted a nut the other day. X videos. Watching. Or that was fun. Uh-huh. He doesn't really do that as much anymore because we're having so much sexy fun. He's like, I need a little bit of time to replenish myself. But yeah, he's like the. And you didn't admit it to me. I don't have enough time to be doing that right. And you were still really cute. Like you didn't admit it. And then it was in the middle of play. I think you said, OK, and you whispered it. What did you say? And you wouldn't say it again. What did you just say? Tell me, tell me. And you finally say, I'm going to bust a nut while you're going. I might have busted twice. I'm like, oh my God. So that we're not totally radically honest about that. You don't still admit that. Well, that's because I still have the inherent shame of mom walking in on me. Mom, I'm winking it here. Yeah, there's that. I don't think you ever quite get rid of that. Is your mom actually catch you? No, you're always living in fear. OK, and then after that, you're living in fear of your wife catching you. Well, then you're living in fear of your kids catching. I'm winking it over here. I'll help you. I'm looking at Louisville Slugger porn. Is there anything else extreme that I've never heard of? Triple D.B.P. porn. Oh, I mean, you know, first of all, the whole stepson I'm stuck in a dryer. That is some meme as porn. I know his name is going to be stepson. OK, yeah, he's we don't know. We don't know if we'll meet him. We can't have expectations. It's just looking really good. Because he keeps sliding into my DMs. And hopefully it happens before this pod actually goes live, because then we might not see him. You talked a little bit about apps. Definitely save the apps for later, because you are going to have ghosting. You're going to have rejection and it's time consuming. You have to build up your confidence first in the lifestyle. People are really friendly and people are just everybody in the lifestyle. They're the most lovely people and they're also fun. The whole world should be made up of lifestyle folk. And with that said, then we could all carry a red thread. When you get on the apps, the apps tends to be a lot more two dimensional. It can be kind of looks based and people can be a little more ruthless. You get a lot of ghosting and it can be so crushing to your confidence. And so you got to go build that confidence first in the lifestyle. Know where you stand in the lifestyle. And so go to the swear club. Build you up or start even at like a swinger resort. Hito desire. Some people do that. I'm going to go for the all nude feel like the vacation mode and they dip their toes in that way. There's some people that the apps are just not going to work. And then those people can say, you know what? Clubs work better because you've got intention to people. You're at a club. You want to play, you look around and you find what you feel is best for you. Who's there, right? That's how it works. The apps can be a steeper learning curve and it's best to save that after you have some experience. I have seen people that started with the apps like they're like four months in six months and they talk about how few matches they made. And they're actually ready to quit the lifestyle before it has even begun. And that would just be an absolute travesty. Absolutely. Wouldn't it? Because it is so much fun. We are having the absolute time of our lives like I've pulled up to a stoplight before and I just looked over and I think I saw some gal there and I don't know why. But you're thinking she'd make a great uniform because that's what you always do. Leo is terrible. But there is a single. We're one of them's creepy swinger. We are the creepy swinger meme couple. Yeah, I guess we are. Gosh, what's happened to us? And don't talk about ourselves anymore when we go to in and out drive in. We're like, oh, he's cute. I mean, come on. Almost played with somebody that worked it in and out burger. I wanted to play with him. He said he'd wear the uniform in the bedroom. As soon as he told me I vetted it, he was from Vegas, right? And we met Rusky instead. So I mean, I'm thrilled because Rusky was super, super hot. Just put the fries in the bag. OK, I thought he was a bartender because he talked about his very late hours. And he's like, no, I work at In-N-Out. And I'm like, you know, I got a little thing about In-N-Out. Do you know how awkward that would be to have to run into that guy every time that we cruise to the In-N-Out Burger Dricer? It was in Vegas. Well, I know, but we go to In-N-Out Burger in Vegas. He told me he would wear the uniform in the bedroom. You already know that you have to overshare radical honesty. But it goes beyond that. You need to talk about the fantasies in your head. If you are crushing on a play partner, I was kind of thinking about so and so. You need to put that out into the ether, because as soon as you put it out there, it has no teeth anymore. I want to fuck your best friend. Is that what you're talking about? Yeah, if you wanted to say that, we could talk it over. Of course, you overshare, you have radical honesty, but you need to go beyond that. You need to share with your partner every little thought, every fantasy that comes to mind, because if you put it out in the ether, then it doesn't have any teeth. Yeah, but for a bit of newbie advice, you're telling people to go straight to 100 by being radically honest. Oftentimes couples that are just getting into the lifestyle, you need to kind of burp that Tupperware a little bit slowly. You know, maybe say something like, hey, what do you think about that MFM porn right there? Is that pretty hot? That's for a lot of people that would shock the other partner. So I feel like you kind of let a little bit of air out of the blue. I'm talking about newbies who are actually playing, not like pre-play. So more like newbies with a little bit of experience. Yes. Oh, if we're talking about your newbie, newbie, newbie, then yeah, you need to start out by watching some, you know, keep that to yourself, all that tentacle porn. Yeah, you need to talk about tentacle porn. What the hell is that? You've never heard tentacle porn? A little bit. You know what I'm talking about, don't you? You dirty girl. I don't understand it. Basically, it's like monster porn. And in this case, do they think that it's like, maybe it's like some sea creature. And then the tentacles go places that start in one orifice and come out the other. Why do people think that's hot? Which, by the way, is not anatomically correct. It's not. I think you can go through the who-ha and come out your mouth. And that's really people get off on that. Oh, for sure. I did go. They have whole categories devoted to it. I was exploring some porn sites and I found one that was all like animated. I couldn't believe there's a whole section of porn that's animated. They got whole categories devoted to like Disney characters. Snow White and she's doing the Seven Dwarves. And it's all animated. That's fascinating. All the things I'm learning. It takes two enthusiastic guesses and one, no. Always. Yeah. And not only that, but some of the cringiest exchanges that we've seen have involved people that weren't on the same page and one of the partners wanted to kind of keep going and didn't slow down for the slow. And you may be a little bit but hurt. Dang it. I was having a good time. But if your partner, his gut instinct is this is not right. You need to listen to your partner. It is said tomorrow that I want to quit the lifestyle. I would say, what in the hell are you talking about? Because, you know, radical honesty first. And then after that, I would go through the seven stages of grief. Don't you want the porn star first? I'd say, well, I'll wait till that. Yeah. You would change your mind by afternoon. Kind of like the first time we ever went to a club and Kat came home. And she ended up, of course, with a strange cock in her hand on that. I don't know how it happened. It jumped into my hand. Yeah. And I said, did not reach out for it. First of all, I think she was projecting when she got angry at me because she was angry that she ended up with a cock in her hand, strange cock in her hand. I was I was worried how you were going to feel because we didn't know we had to talk boundaries. We didn't know anything. We didn't even know we were in a lifestyle club. And so I was worried about telling you because I didn't think you saw that. I had a cock in my hand. Well, I knew my boundaries. Somebody offered their wife to me in the first five minutes we were inside the club and somebody told Leo, go ahead. That was me. That's true. That was you. You can fuck my wife. And I said, no, I think I'm good, but you know what? Maybe the girls can play. And then I said, no, you can do it. I mean, you want to do it. You were probably a little three sheets away. Do it. Five sheets. The only way you were going to get me to a club like that back in those days. Now, that's probably why you ended up with a strange cock in your hand because you were three sheets in the way. And now I go in sober and happy to Cox and you just thought they were both mine. I think you should have to Cox. In fact, I told Pussy. Pussy. Pussy. I told her, would it be nice if you had to Cox? Yeah, you said that on one of the little clips. I know, because I talk too damn much. I'm really funny like that. I talk a lot. But I say to people, it's so cringe when I see another partner in the relationship and they're still going full steam ahead while the other partner has reservations. It's hard. It's your greedy little it. I want it. I want it. But it is a team sport. And if one member of the team is not having fun, you can't continue like that. So we talked about you never change boundaries, mid-play. Like, oh, my God, I wasn't expecting that. Unless it's hot. Because mid-play, you're going to be horny. Yes. You need cooler heads to prevail in a non-horny period to talk about. OK, what do you guys think? What not what you guys? Because you're not you're not dating guys. Honey. What is everybody in the room? Think about this. I've got like multiple partners. Also, say I raise your hand. I think we're going to go ahead and do some oral giving. Put your hand down, Nate. A mouth to mouth. OK, you know, Nate's going to be a lot of fun, though. We'll let you know how it goes. He's a fun vibe and we're going to hang. Nate is wild, though. He's a wild guy and we are pretty wild. So we told him we're going to a mansion party and I knew he's not going to know what that means. So I'm like, we're going to a mansion sex party. You know, I figured he could get his head around that. And I said, if it was local, we totally would have brought you. We talked to pushers. And he's like, that sounds so hot. And you know that we met her and we had an amazing time when we played with her. Kind of the stars aligned and it was like just boom. We were on the rims and then nothing for like five, six months. We were friends. She and I would text in a friendly way, but there was no mention of around to. There was no. The first thing I said to you was it's all your damn fault. I was so. I said it was my fault. She's great. I was too wild. And we found out just last night. She told us. I can't believe it's actually technically was today. Oh, my gosh. We're just not on a life is going really slowly. I don't know. I want a slurpee. I want the simpler times. Well, we can just talk around podcast and getting fat. Hell of that. But she told us this morning, she said that the reason for that long interlude was because she thought we were a little bit too wild for her. And now she has come to know us and we're not wild at all. She bought it. We are not wild away. She's listening to the pod. Damn it. You're not wild. We have standards and preferences and we do go slow. Yeah, we do. We do have a wild straight and Nate, you know, he looks like a great partner in crime. He'll be fun. Just a party in the Castro district where Leo gets felt up by like a hundred men. Yeah. OK. Well, someone's going to wear some attention. Something really hot, really tight fitting. Should I go in with like no shirt or something like that? Oh, my God. Like, yeah, you should have your cock showing like it's just like a cock showing. No, like now you're inviting trouble. OK, not showing, but you know, wearing like some tight jeans. So it'd be really hot. Do you mean like a sock or something? Like one of those see through mesh socks. No, oh, stop it. It's just too bad he doesn't go the other direction. He's really cute. Yeah, he actually is a very handsome guy. Cat likes him. I do like him. I like a lot of guys. No, you don't. What are you talking about? That's a damn lie. No, it's not really. Yeah, cat. She got a very specific dynamic that she likes. I know. And I didn't know that's something you'll know with newbies as a tip. Nate's probably too old for you. He's probably in his 30s. That's what he's in right there. I don't care. But you're right. He is a handsome guy. He is actually in your wheelhouse. And he's got a fantastic personality. And that goes a long way. That's true. And the beauty of it is I can say that because Nate ain't going to listen to this. He's like, what the hell am I going to listen to a swing or podcast for? I'm not heteronormative. OK. I think that if you go to a store club, you should probably have a drink to loosen you up. OK, look at her. I think women, yeah, although some people would advise, make sure you don't drink too much. Yeah, don't drink too much. Don't get sloppy. And for men, if you drink too much, you're probably not going to get it up. So don't over imbibe. Have a drink. Have to help loosen up. But don't over imbibe. Try to ignore the FOMO because you really can't do everything. Yeah, we're trying to do everything right now. And you really can't do everything like. I'm determined to do everything. We're trying to go to a plush party and we're trying to thread the red thread needle and have a play encounter that has nothing to do with the plush party. I think my feeling is that eventually a lot of the newness is going to wear off. Is that what you think? At some point, our honeymoon phase of the lifestyle will sort of gradually come to a close and will be more casual about it. And so while it feels like we're on a roller coaster going upside down, we. I said, wow, no, we like we. Oh, I didn't say it with the right intonation. I was like, did I just say while I'm on the roller coaster going upside down and you're filming it? Sorry, point of view. OK, I feel like we want to go and do as many things as possible, like when is our honeymoon going to end? I don't know because I think it's only ramped up. I hope not. We did that episode like six months ago. Do you know that? Which one? The Swinger Moon? Yeah, it's been like six months since we did the Swinger Moon. And we're still deep, deep, deep. Well, that's because we're discovering new facets of the lifestyle that are thrilling. I mean, we just went to Naughty in New Orleans and it turned out to be like the best event we were going to go to Southern California. We're actually going to be driving there. We're taking a road trip. Leo and I, come on, that's going to be so fun. You're going to have a threesome with a d-list actor? Yes. The Shamwell guy. He's going to squeegee me. He's going to ring me out. I was going to say Billy Mays, but God rest his soul. I don't think he's around anymore. Who's Billy Mays? You don't know Billy Mays? No, he's the OxyClean guy. Oh, is he the guy? Oh, I remember that. He's always on those infomercials. Billy Mays, man. I didn't know. What about the Shamwell guy? I would have bought anything from Billy Mays. I think the Shamwell guy. I think I read one time. Don't quote me on this, but something happened. I don't know if he got like beat up by a hooker or like went to jail. You have to look him up. I don't know. He's got some funny backstory about how his career kind of got derailed for being a Shamwell guy. I'm pretty sure I just made most of that up, but he has some kind of funny ending to his acting career. I need a Shamwell for my squirting. Shamwell, you'll be saying wow every time. It'll soak it all up. That's true. We had some squirting in the bedroom this morning. And we have two beds. And so, you know what? We used to have squirt pads. We don't do that anymore. That's dumb. We're just like, here's a towel, whatever. If you want, bring some puppy pads. It's much more congruent to just in a hotel, go to the bathroom, grab a towel if you want, throw it under there. That's fine. I kind of feel like people who don't like squirting. And I mean, people who really have an aversion to it, especially people who say things like they might see somebody else squirting in a club and they'd say, you guys are messing it up for the rest of us. I like it when a guy will clean me up. I feel like those people have some overlap with germaphobes. And I find germaphobes to be terribly unsexed. I remember we played with a guy and we thought he had those germaphob tendencies. He didn't. But we felt like I feel like they're on the outskirts. They weren't showing themselves, but we weren't sure. And I remember I squirted and I think he was going down on me. And then he just continued right on going down to me. And I was so, yeah, I was really hot. Yeah. And I feel like people who are germaphobes have some overlap with people who are like OCD. And I'm not sure I want OCD in the bedroom either. Yeah, agreed. To me, sex is messy. It's beautiful. It's hot and all of it. I'm here for all of it. You don't need to be embarrassed about natural bodily functions. You could be farting. Oh, as long as you're not a far eater, though. We thought about, I think I'm going to try to match on him. And I think I'm going to talk to him and really ask, is he for real? Because every time we fart now in each other's presence, we think of fart eater. What are you telling listeners? I don't fart. I don't ever fart. OK, I'm too classy for that. He is not classy at all. Hold my finger. Yeah, you're going to ask the guy, is this a put on or are you for real? And if so, is this really your cake? Do you really get matches? Yeah. Are there really people that just ate some greasy street tacos? Taco Bell. And they're like, hey, I've got a great idea. I'm going to look up on the app and see if I can find a fart eater. That's just, you know, there is that on like field, especially. I know germaphobes, but that's brah. You know, because it's like a whole matchy thing and it's not like email, like on Cassidy, you're kind of mailing someone. I often come across profiles that are interesting to me in some way, but I don't want to play with them. Could be a couple, could be a single person. And I want to swipe on them and say, yes, just so I can talk to them. You know, there's only fan girls that fart in jars and they'll ship it to you. What? Yeah, I have no doubt. I heard that it might. This is like the triple DVP. You know too much, Leo. It's out there. I'm sure it happens. Does it smell when they open the jar? Of course, they sell their underwear. Farting in a jar. I'll send my underwear to people. Oh, OK. Well, then I'll send my force in a jar. I would make a million bucks that way. I would love it if a play partner of mine wanted like some kind of memorabilia. Wouldn't it be just so hot? Would guys suck? Yeah. Well, we were at the power exchange. They actually wanted your underwear. Somebody asked, can I have your underwear? And I was like, no, that's not the play. You're not going to give somebody your underwear unless they're really hot. There's not going to be anybody hot at the power exchange. No, I know. That's facts. OK, I know. But you know what? If you're in the bedroom, that's a good question. I feel like you got your money's worth. If it doesn't smell. I'm not farting in no jar. Are you going to fart in it? Oh, you're telling me you want you to fart in a jar and then you want me to put my nose in. You know, can't test this thing. Where occasionally she'll have some nasty smell and she'll go, ooh, that's disgusting. And I always know what's coming next. And she comes and says, I don't ever have a nasty smell. Why don't you smell it? No, I'm not talking about on your person, but you'll say, that's disgusting. Here, do you want to smell it? That is always. You're putting your finger out as if I'm it's a bodily thing. I do have him smell like meat. Is this bad meat? Can I cook it? And I do say here, stick it under your nose. I'm like the professional sniffer. And he's like, would you stop? You know how the King's Court had a professional taster? I'm the professional sniffer. I do touch my VJJ sometimes. And I'm like, OK, how am I smelling today? And I'll stick my fingers under his nose. Yeah, well, I'm here for that. But as far as farting goes, like if we're in the bedroom and you cut a fart, I'm just going to chuckle. It's fun when you smell it. That's fine. But if you cut it and then say, get your head down there. Yeah, you're terrible. If you farted in the bed, you walked it. So I can smell these terrible. What the stigma? Sometimes those are the spaces in between. Spaces in between your cheeks. And, you know, those laugh moments are sort of the red thread that's coming out of your nether regions. Last bit of advice. Now, what is your last bit of advice? Don't wait. You'll only wish you had started sooner. Yeah, but, you know, the caveat for that is sometimes we say that. But we could never have been ready to be a part of the lifestyle. We had to go on the journey that we went on, which, you know, it started like two years prior where we were going on sexcations. And lots of sex toys and lingerie and going to a live sex show. Just us before we were ready to even remotely stumble our way. We were embroiled in parenthood and I was so overprotective. I would just not have been OK with the things that go on today. Fordster. I am an enlightened man. Eggplant, peach, squirting emoji. Yeah, it's a journey. I have to take it when you're ready. Honestly, I'm going to tell you, if you're in your 20s, watch out because there's a reason why there's sort of age demographics that recurringly show up in the lifestyle. Because it's 35 to 55 with the vast majority post 40. Yeah, I think it's because a lot of couples, when you've been together for a long time, I've seen everything. I've seen everything there is to see. Oh, I smelled every fart he's ever had. OK. Next up, tentacle porn. OK, do people have tentacle porn next time? You're going to walk in on me. I'm just going to be wanking it to tentacle porn. And I'm going to make eye contact with you. And I'm not going to break eye contact. You're going to fart. Because of good fart. So listen, never gets old. Do they have like fake tentacles that people buy to kind of know that's like a furry porn? Yeah, to pretend like they've got tentacles running through them. Like, do people do that? I don't know. This is fascinating. I don't I don't think that's on my body. I'm not an expert on tentacle porn. I haven't actually even witnessed it, but I've actually watched her TVP. I would never watch something like that. Just those crazy freaks out there. How do I I'm sure there's double anal penetration to. Yes, that sounds really painful. Yeah, you know, I'm not sure you're. Although I don't even want to double anal penetrate. Although one is enough. Nate might tell you different. That was a steaming pile of no advice and you know it. Well, you know what? We're on a lack of sleep right now. So I don't know what to tell you, but I think that we're going to have a really fun episode coming up for episode 69. Oh, yeah. Sixty nine. Because 69 should be special, right? Because I really I did 69 with her last night. 69 is such a great meme because, you know, you got the six and then it's 69 is fun when the two girls are doing 69 and you're behind me in sight of me. And she can do like a little fucke looking because she's a girl. So she can like both of us. Yeah, I think on that note, we're going to get some sleep. So we don't sound like a bunch of rambling lunatics because I think we just lost about half our listeners. I think we did. Peace out. Peace out. So if you liked what you heard, go ahead and either subscribe or I didn't know how that works. Just come and listen. We might post once a week. We might post a couple times a month. I don't know. We might get bored and stop doing it. So we might come and listen while it's still going. Otherwise, we'll lose interest. Tell us how much you like it. Yeah, that kind of comment. Very cool. We love it. We're going to leave a comment. I don't know. We lost some comments. We don't have a website. OK.