Whatever You Like | Ep. 303

WBUR Podcasts, Boston. And now, on with the story. There's this really great saying, Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. Do you get it? Time flies like an arrow because it moves so fast. But fruit flies like a banana as in they really enjoy bananas. Words can be tricky. Sometimes they're as slippery as a banana peel. And as we'll hear in today's story, if you don't weigh your words, they can easily be twisted. I'm Rebecca Shearer and welcome to Circle Round Live at Symphony Hall in Boston, Massachusetts. Today our story is called Whatever You Like. We found versions of this tale from Jewish and Indian lore. Joining me on stage is a star-studded cast of actors Mary Faber, Josh Gondelman, LeMond Price, and Jessica Rau. Providing musical accompaniment under the direction of our own Eric Chimelonis is a world-class ensemble from the Boston Symphony Orchestra, Kathy Basrak on viola, Rachel Schilders on horn, Chris Elchico on clarinet, Clint Foreman on flute, Ben Levy on double bass, and Suzanne Nelson on bassoon. So Circle Round, everyone, for Whatever You Like. Music Sema lived in a cozy cottage with her younger brother, Avi. The cottage belonged to Sema and Avi's father, but father didn't spend much time at home. As a merchant who did all of his business overseas, he was always buying and selling exotic goods in far away lands. While father was away, Sema took care of Avi, and it wasn't always easy. Avi, time to go to bed. No. Can you at least brush your teeth? No. How about put on your pajamas? No. Okay. Then how about not going to bed or brushing your teeth or putting on your pajamas? I don't want to. Oh, you don't want to not go to bed or brush your teeth or put on your pajamas? In that case, since you don't want to not do any of those things, then you will. What? Wait, you used your words to trick me. One year, father had to leave his children for many, many months before he boarded his ship across the ocean. He promised he would support his kids by sending home money whenever he could. Now, mind you, our story takes place long before computers were a thing, and you could send money with nothing more than an internet connection and the press of a button, and perhaps a two-factor verification or one of those picture thingies where you have to click certain images to prove you're not a robot, to prove you're not a what? What are you talking about? You know what? It's not important. The point is, back when our story takes place, you had to gather actual money, physical money, get it all packaged up, then send it across the ocean on a boat. Well, the year of father's big journey, the seas were unusually rough. Very few ships could make the crossing through the stormy waters. So back at home, Sema and Avi's cozy cottage was growing less cozy by the day. Food and money were dwindling, and worries were growing. Avi, until we finally receive money from father, we're going to have to tighten our belts. I hate wearing belts. They make my belly hurt. What I mean is, we're going to have to cut back on the money we spend. How do you feel about cold cereal for dinner? Oh, will you let me have some cavity crunch? No. How about sugar rush crisp? No. Count calorie? No. Then how about if you don't let me have cavity crunch, or sugar rush crisp, or count calorie? No. You don't want to not let me have those cereals. In that case, grab me a bowl. What? Wait, you used your words to trick me. Life for Sema and Avi was getting tougher and tougher. Then one day, they received a visit from a sea captain. Greetings, children. I am a sea captain. The sea captain wore tall, shiny boots and an official looking coat. She told the children she had brought something from their father. Children, I have brought something from your father. The siblings looked on eagerly as the captain presented a wooden box. Behold this wooden box filled with 100 silver coins. It is filled with 100 silver coins. Um, is there an echo in here? No, there are coins in here. I just told you that. Right. The siblings were grateful to finally receive money from father. They held their hands out with anticipation so the captain could give them the box. And she did give them the box, but only after reaching inside, scooping out the 100 silver coins and stuffing them into her pockets. So the box she gave them was empty. Hang on. What do you think you're doing? Yeah, why are you giving us an empty box and keeping all the coins for yourself? The sea captain smirked. It just so happens that I am within my rights to keep the 100 silver coins and give you the empty box. This letter explains everything. She handed SEMA a folded up piece of paper. Oh my, this letter is from father. What does he say? He says, I am writing this letter to confirm the following. The sea captain hereby agrees to transport this box of 100 silver coins across the sea. She will bring the box to my children, SEMA and Avi. She will give my children whatever she likes. As a reward for her troubles, she may keep the rest for herself. You see, your father instructed me to give you whatever I like. And what I would like is to give you this box. The coins I shall keep for myself. After all, do you think schlepping this money across the vast and deadly sea was a cakewalk? What does cake have to do with anything? I mean, it isn't like I could send the money with nothing more than an internet connection and the press of a button, and perhaps a two-factor verification or one of those picture thingies where you have to click certain images to prove you're not a robot. Okay, what is this robot thing? And what is a two-factor vacation? The point is, I went through a lot of trouble bringing this box here, so I am keeping the coins. And if you don't like what I'm doing, what are you going to do? Take me to court. SEMA and Avi shared an anxious look. The last thing they expected during father's absence was to stand before a judge. But what other option did they have? Sure, yes. We'll take you to court. Right now! Fine. Let's go. On the way to the courthouse, thoughts spun through SEMA and Avi's minds like a tornado. What would happen when they faced the judge? What he sighed with a couple of kids or a fancy sea captain. The siblings had no way of knowing. What they could do was hope for the best and brace themselves for the worst. What do you think will happen when SEMA and Avi meet the judge? We'll hear how our story unfolds after a quick break. The reviews are in and super fans like you are loving the Circle Round Club. An exciting opportunity to support public radio and get cool stuff, including ad-free episodes and a personalized birthday message from me. What I like about the Circle Round Club is that Rebecca Sheer sends extra messages and it supports the show and there are no ads. Grownups, support public radio and sign up today at WBUR.org slash Circle Round Club. I'm Rebecca Sheer and welcome back to Circle Round Live at Symphony Hall in Boston, Massachusetts. Today our story is called Whatever You Like. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Before the break, SEMA and Avi were headed to court. Their father, a traveling merchant, had sent a sea captain with a box of 100 silver coins. But instead of giving the siblings the coins, she just gave them the box and kept the coins for herself. The captain claimed she was within her rights because of a letter the merchant wrote. She gave the letter to the judge who read it aloud from his seat at the bench. I am writing this letter to confirm the following. The sea captain hereby agrees to transport this box of 100 silver coins across the sea. She will bring the box to my children, SEMA and Avi. She will give my children whatever she likes. As a reward for her troubles, she may keep the rest for herself. The judge put down the letter and turned toward the captain. Captain, do you solemnly swear that this letter was written by the merchant, SEMA and Avi's father? Of course, your honor. And SEMA, Avi, do you recognize the handwriting? Is it truly your father's? It is your honor. We would know those chicken scratches anywhere. Very well. Captain, let's return to you. If I have my story straight, when you visited SEMA and Avi's cottage, you were carrying the merchant's box filled with 100 silver coins. Is that correct? That is correct, your honor. And you proceeded to keep the 100 silver coins and give SEMA and Avi just the box? Yes. After all, I was to give the children whatever I like. And what I would like is to give them the empty box. So I did nothing wrong. Look at the merchant's letter, your honor. The proof is right there in black and white. SEMA stole a glance at Avi. Tears filled his eyes and he was wiping his nose with a handkerchief. Clearly he was about to cry. SEMA felt like she was too. Your honor, if I may interject, my brother and I know that our father is a brilliant and generous man. There is no way he would allow the captain to cheat us like this. I'm not cheating anyone. I am simply following the merchant's instructions. Your honor, would you read his letter again? I'm supposed to be the one asking the questions. But yes, I will read the merchant's letter again. I am writing this letter to confirm the following. The sea captain hereby agrees to transport this box of 100 silver coins across the sea. She will bring the box to my children, SEMA and Avi. She will give my children whatever she likes. As a reward for her troubles, she may keep the rest for herself. You see, I've done nothing wrong. And now I'm rich. SEMA's urge to cry was becoming an urge to scream. She took a breath to center herself. Your honor, may I please have one more look at my father's letter? The judge nodded and handed SEMA the letter. She read it to herself slowly and silently. Then she read it again and again and again. And after her fifth time pouring over her father's words, she felt a jolt crackle through her mind like a light had switched on in her head. Your honor, I know you're the one who's supposed to ask questions of the defendant, but may I address the captain personally? Please? I'll allow it. Thank you. Captain, I want to make sure things are crystal clear. When you were given the box of 100 coins, you decided pretty quickly that you liked those coins, yes? Duh! Who wouldn't like 100 silver coins? And did you like the box? Not especially. It was old and scratched and battered. Uh-huh. You know what? I think we should make things official. We need to write this down. Your honor, do you have a pen I could borrow? Uh, you can use this fountain pen. Thank you. And Avi, would you mind handing me your handkerchief? Avi gave his nose a wipe. It's kind of wet and slimy, but sure, here you go. Thanks. Now, captain, using this pen to write with and this hankie to write on, can you please record what you just told us that you liked the 100 silver coins, but you did not like the box? The captain rolled her eyes, then snatched the pen and hankie and began to write. I liked the 100 silver coins. I did not like the box. Now, sign your name to make it official. The captain scribbled her signature. Thank you. Now, give me and my brother the 100 silver coins. The captain smacked a hand to her forehead. Are you a nincompoop? I would like the 100 silver coins. I just wrote it down. I know you did. And that's why you must give the coins to us to quote, well, you, the proof is right there in black and white. The captain spun toward the judge. Your honor, I have no idea what the merchant's daughter is talking about. She's spouting nonsense and completely out of order. You should throw this silly girl out of your court. The captain expected the justice to agree and send SEMA packing, but instead. Actually, captain, this silly girl is neither silly nor out of order. It took me a while to catch on. But if anyone is out of order, it's you. I don't understand. Then please allow me to enlighten you. The judge gave SEMA a wink, then turned back to the captain. Captain, the merchant's letter stated, and I quote, to see captain will give my children whatever she likes and keep the rest for herself. Clearly you liked the 100 silver coins. You said so yourself. You wrote it too. Therefore, the 100 silver coins, which you liked so very much are rightfully the children's. And the box, which you didn't like, is rightfully yours. What? Wait, you used your words to trick me. Did we, though? Avi was no longer crying. He was beaming. Because I think you used our father's words to try and trick us. The captain froze. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. After trying so hard to twist the merchant's words, she found herself at a loss for words. Well, now that the siblings rightfully had their 100 silver coins, they happily went back home where they found a letter waiting. Avi, this letter is from father. He says that the seas have finally calmed, so he's coming home on the next boat. And since he's so sick and tired of missing his amazing children, he's staying home for good. Sema and Avi shared a grin, then they shared a hug. Because the idea of finally being together as a family wasn't just something the two siblings liked. It was something they loved. Now it's your turn. There are many ways to play with words, and one of my personal favorites is the pun. A pun creates humor using a word or phrase with multiple meanings or using similar sounding words. Find a grown-up and start brainstorming jokes with a question and answer that involve puns. For instance, why did the bike take a nap? It was too tired. Why wouldn't the shrimp share its toys? It was a little shellfish. I could go on and on, but I won't. Instead, come up with a punny joke of your own. Then share it with us. Have your grown-up email your punny Q&A to circleround at WBUR.org. With your permission, we may feature it in the monthly Circle Round newsletter, The Lion's Roar. This week's story, Whatever You Like, was adapted by me, Rebecca Shear. It was edited by Dean Russell. Circle Round's composer is Eric Shimlonis, who conducted our world-class ensemble from the Boston Symphony Orchestra, Kathy Basrak on viola, Rachel Childers on horn, Chris Elchico on clarinet, Clint Foreman on flute, Ben Levy on double bass, and Suzanne Nelson on bassoon. Special thanks to everyone at the BSO, including Chad Smith, Tony Fogg, Mark Rulison, Angie DeSosio, Chris Campbell, Dana Falloon, Jason Larnhardt, Steven Ponczak, Amy Aldrich, Jason Lyon, and Kali Carmesino. And a big Circle Round of applause for our actors at Symphony Hall, Mary Faber, Josh Donnellman, Lamont Price, and Jessica Rau. You grown-ups may know actor-singer and puppeteer Mary Faber from TV shows like Parks and Recreation and Kidding. She's graced the Broadway stage in musicals like Avenue Q, American Idiot, and How to Succeed in Business without really trying. She's wearing a Bat Boy the musical at New York City Center through November 9. Josh Donnellman is a stand-up comedian and Emmy award-winning writer you NPR fans know from Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. Grown-ups you can find his comedy specials, People Pleaser and Positive Reinforcement, streaming online. And you kids can hear him in oodles of Circle Round episodes recorded live at Symphony Hall and Tanglewood. Named best comedian in Boston by Boston Magazine and one of Comedy Central's comics to watch by Comedy Central, Lamont Price has brought his humor to every major comedy festival. He's also appeared in Triumph the Insult Comic Dogs election special on Hulu and in Funny or Dies Oddball comedy tour. Singer and actor Jessica Rau has appeared in dozens of Circle Round stories including live episodes from Los Angeles and San Francisco. She has voiced characters in many video games including Cobra Kai, The Karate Kid Saga Continues. You kids can hear her voice in the films Wish, Sing and Pitch Perfect 3. Circle Round's artist Sabina Hahn. Sabina has created a black and white coloring page for all of our Circle Round stories and you can print them out and color them in. Grown-ups visit our website WBR.org slash Circle Round and click on Coloring Pages. Love the stories you hear on Circle Round? Leave us a 5 star rating or review on your favorite podcast app and please tell your friends about the show. With your help, we can make the Circle Round circle even bigger. Circle Round is a production of WBUR, Boston's NPR news station. I'm Rebecca Scheer. Thanks for Circling Round with us. Now that you've made it to the end of this Circle Round episode, we want to know what's your favorite Circle Round story? Thousands of fans just like you have been telling us about the Circle Round stories they like best. Take a listen. Maybe one of their favorites is one of yours too. My name is Rupert and I live in Sook, BC and my favorite Circle Round story is Three Clever Brothers and I don't know, I just like it. My name is Skylar. I'm from Sunnyvale, California. My favorite Circle Round story is The Giant Steps. My favorite part is that the giantess hides her brother's shoes to help the woodcutter get home. 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