This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human. Welcome to Dirty Rush, the truth about sorority life with your hosts, me, GiaJudice, Daisy Kent and Jennifer Fessler. Hi guys, welcome back to Dirty Rush. I am your host, Jen Fessler. And today we are mixing things up. So instead of chatting with recent grads, I've got a group of women who are a little further down the road from their sorority days. We are bringing in Judy and Janet. Hi ladies. Thank you so much for joining us. Jennifer. Thank you. So well, first guys, tell me where you went to school and what sorority you were in. Judy. Uh, University of Southern California and we were in Delta, Kama. Got it. Okay. Great. And I know you graduated different years. Janet, when did you graduate? I graduated in 1988. Okay. And Judy? 91. Okay. I graduated right in the middle of 1990. Not that it matters. And Janet, have you, did you move straight to Vegas after graduation? No, actually I wanted to be in fashion. So I moved straight to New York City and I was there probably for 15 years until I married my husband and we moved back to West LA. Got it. And then we moved to Vegas for my husband's job like 10 years later. Okay. 15 years later. Yeah. Okay. So. Okay. So listen, guys, we're going to talk about what it's like, those friendships that, you know, we form in sororities. And, you know, if those friendships stay with you for life, I think in my case, um, a lot of them did. I want to know about you guys though. Tell me about the women in DG. Were they just college friends or do you have a lot of sisters that you're still in touch with and that are your closest friends? Janet, tell me a little. Well, a kind of funny thing, I think in our generation is we, firstly, I loved my experience as a DJ. I lived in the house the whole time. It was the best, but then we didn't have social media like now. Right. Oh, it was very hard to keep in touch when I moved to New York. I didn't know about you, Judy, but there was only, you know, that was very odd at the time because most people stayed in California and we couldn't really stay in touch with our sorority sisters because like no one was there. Maybe two people would move to DC or something. So you kind of see people going in and out. Right. Did an event for USC a couple of years ago at our house here in Las Vegas. And I was thinking about the most like significant things that have happened in my life. And the funny thing is that so many of them have been brought about by my sorority sisters. So like, for instance, my husband, who I'm madly in love with, she, I was living in New York, her husband worked at Morgan Stanley with my husband. And when I was coming home to visit my family, she fixed us up and we fell in love and I moved back. And then, you know, there's just been so many instances like that. Our, you know, best friends would move years later and we'd come and come to New York and then we'd all become best friends again. And I think the bonds are just so, so special. And yeah, so it's just been great. You bring up an interesting point because I graduated UT, North Texas in 1990. So, right, we didn't even have cell phones, right? No, no. It was such, it was such a different time. And it was, if you wanted to stay in touch, you were making a, it used to be called a young ins a long distance phone call, right? Or you wrote something called a letter. And, but I remember that feeling because I moved straight from Texas to New York city. I remember feeling that, that loss, you know, just loss of these sisters because they're really none of my, none of my AFI sisters moved to New York. So I was, right. That's the ones from my pledge class. What about you, Judy? Yeah, I had a little kind of a mixed experience. When I first graduated, I moved to DC. I, my boyfriend at the time, he was in med school and I moved, I was a polycyne major of communications. So I wanted to move DC. It just kind of worked out. So I moved into a row house with about four other sorority sisters. So I kind of continued. Wow. Oh, fun. But they were older than me. So. Now what's a row house? So in Washington DC, their houses are in Rose in Georgetown. I guess I just call it. So the houses are like almost share walls. So you're really close with your neighbors and there's lots of them. They're beautiful. The other sort of ecology? It's not. No, I had a senator across the street, a lobbyist here, but they were one person in these homes. There was six of us, six girls. I shared a room with another girl in a bathroom because you were used to, I literally was just like, Oh, that's no big deal. I don't think I could do it today. So I lived with my sorority sisters for a few years, all different schools. Some of them were DGs at different schools and were different ages. One was at the Pentagon, but Taylor was at the Pentagon. I know Taylor. Yeah. She was my roommate. She got the biggest room that she had the whole top floor, obviously. She was the only one. It still kind of worked like a sorority house. And then once I got married and moved to New Orleans, I that's when I really felt the shift and didn't have as much contact with my girlfriends once I got married and was living not in California. And I remember being devastated that I could not afford to fly to my friend, Amy's. I'm going to cry still. She asked me to be in her wedding. I know I'm so sad. Oh, so sad. But you know how it is to get married. You have no money at the, you know, you spend all your money getting. I know, but the fact that you would actually be brought to tears by that is so you. Yeah, I still think about it. I was like, so sad I couldn't be there. Yeah, it was to be in your best your best girlfriends wedding. It only happens once, hopefully. No, but it does. It speaks also those bonds, those, you know, sisterly bonds, but OK, go on. I'm sorry. No, that was pretty much it. So that's been my experience. And then I have stayed. I really tried, I think, probably a little more than my girlfriends have, because they all still live in California together. So I think I make a little more effort to try to bring us together. Because I'm sort of in Vegas. There's not as many girls that left California. Right. My story. So I sort of started a text group and then I just recently joined the 51 Pledge Sisters text group that was started. And that's been really fun. We all kind of share a little businesses or little, you know, celebrations of our kids. So that's been nice. And oddly, I just found out Facebook Messenger. I had like 100 messages I never saw about these reunions that I missed. I was always like seeing photos. I'm like, oh, shoot, I wish I knew about that. Well, apparently there was messages. Oh, media is sometimes they like. Think it's junk mail, but right. Right. Yeah. So I would say, you know, it's been hard. It is really hard to keep in touch. And there are some girls that when we pledge with, we never saw them again. Right, Janet? Oh, for sure. Yeah, you really have to make an effort. But it is cute, Judy, like when you say that, because I lost touch with a lot. And you probably saw a couple of my girls, the Swerdy Sisters, that we have a good holiday party. Yes, yes, I did. And but further on that, I hadn't really kept in touch with everyone. You're right with the reunions. I never went to any because we travel like all of you know, travel and we do them. And so this year we're all turning 60. Now, Judy's younger than I am. So we're all turning 60. So I said to my couple of girlfriends who I've, you know, very still very close with they said, come down to our house in Newport. Let's celebrate our 60th. And so my girlfriend put it out to the whole group text because we're all turning 60 this year. And now like 40 people, almost our whole pledge class is coming down. And they all got hotel room. I want to come. I know you're saying you don't want to be 60, you guys. So that's the that's the downer of it right around the corner. But it's cute. But it was cute, you know, see everyone so excited to see each other. You have a whole agenda. Do you have like, you know, just the schedule and like things? I mean, are there I don't know. Oh, totally. Like I'm doing one big dinner at my house one night. And then, you know, Tammy Tucker, remember her GD. Yeah, totally. Yeah. I think I ran into her like some ski place, Deer Valley or something. Yeah, so it's going to it's going to be a blast. Yeah, it'll be but I'm just, you know, it's fun how everyone wants to see each other. And, you know, it's like your time has passed. Yeah, it's referring to me seeing her friends. She couldn't go last minute. I don't know if you I'm sure you're familiar with Page of Page Danum. Am I? I am. I might be about to scare hanging over. Yeah, you too. Okay, was my big sister. Oh, wow. She was a DG and I asked her to be on here today and she had plans, but she definitely would love to be on. Did she have a discount code she gave you for us or? You know, she did do a discount code for Nathan Allison Hospice is a luncheon that she agreed to be kind of saved us as the fashion house. Because I do not mean it for us. Oh, no, no, no, no, of course not. No, but she was so sweet. She did a discount code for the DG's that day. Very nice. Right. And she did a pop up. It was really cool to kind of bring her back. Yeah. Yeah. So you guys feel like there's something different in terms of because, you know, now that we are we're all around 60 Janet, but like in versus your sorority reunions, like I'm very close with I have three best friends from high school. And so we see each other. I went to high school in Houston, Texas. So we see each other once a year when we have my friends. My friend has this amazing house on the Chesapeake. And yeah, it's it's really, really fun in Maryland. So yeah, but there's four of us. You know, there's a lot of sorority sisters. And it's a different type of closeness. Yes. We had so much fun in A. If I in college, high school was such a different time. It was a time of kind of struggles. I mean, college, too, you're trying to you're figuring out who you are. Right. But just different different parts of in terms of growing up. Are your high school friends? You feel like you have those same types of relationships? Different, the same? Yeah, I still have a few high school friends, probably not. I don't keep a touch with them. I try, but they none really stayed in California. A lot of them left. Yeah. Makes it a little harder. Sure. I do try to keep in touch with them for sure. The ones out there, but probably not as much as I think I'm a little more closer, but it's hard to say it's different. Yeah. Different type of closeness. Yeah, they knew me when I was a lot younger. I have a few friends from high school that I went to college with and were my sorority that I keep in touch with. So that's cool. That really goes deep, right? Yeah. What about you, Janet? That's I, to be honest, that's I have, you know, GD knows one of our girlfriends who lives in New York City, Don, you bomber. But other than that, and she was my little sister when she she pledged also. And that I think is my only high school friend. I would have loved. You guys went to high school together? You and Don, we've known each other since eighth grade. Yeah. Where did you guys go to high school? I didn't know that. Lindell Lamar's Glendale High School. Don is amazing. But yeah, it's so much fun. But I think honest to be honest back then, right? You weren't it was hard to keep in touch because everyone's different universe, you know, schools that they didn't go to your school and, you know, and you moved and I moved to New York. So you have to make that plan every year, right? And then also in the sorority day, you think we're so close, especially the girls that live like I lived always in my sorority. I loved it. And I just feel like you're so close because you're living together. You know, all the funny stories, people with their boyfriends coming home. I mean, it's just like, you know, it's a wild free time and you just really know the real them. Yeah. Yeah, it's true. I agree. I've been if your sorority friendships outlasted other relationships, I don't know. I mean, listen, marriage is in this day and age. Come and go or maybe even family. Really have there have you found that some of the sorority relationships have lasted longer than other ones, other relationships in your life? How about you, Judy? For sure. Yeah. I mean, I've had some friends that I've sort of fallen out of touch with that I was very close when I was younger, that I thought I wouldn't fall out of touch with. But I continue to stay in touch with. And it's I want to say it might just be that time period in my life that I've stayed in touch with. I mean, I do think the sorority does add that extra bond. But I also have friends that I've made in college at USC that weren't necessarily in my sorority that I definitely kept in touch with. But there is something about a sorority that does cause your brain. I think it's just that sort of time in your life. Your brain is still developing. Right. You can't help but have this sort of neat relationship during that time of your life and also with families of my sorority sisters. I'm really the parents. I mean, just the person. It's really like, like I'll never forget when I went to my first DG event when I pledged and it was like a dad daughter football game and my dad showed up and my girlfriend Allison was there with her dad, Don, who recently just passed away, sadly. And they were so happy to see each other because they were real estate buddies. And my friend Allison, I had no idea. And he was just it was just in my dad's USC. So he was like super excited. And that was just like made my experience in that sort of so like much better. I knew other people and like every time we get together, it was just like this big family, especially for me coming from my parents were born in the 20s. So my dad was like one of the first people. I was the youngest of six. So he was one of the first people to go to USC. For sure. Yeah, all that kind of stuff. So it was pretty cool that he was somebody at his age. You know, yeah, that's very cool. We're sure we'll say it. So yeah, it was a pretty cool story. So yeah, Janet, do you feel like friendships that you make now are different? Every friendship is different, obviously. But do you think it's harder to connect now or, you know, are the the forms, the form that friendship takes now? Definitely. Of course, it's going to be different the form it took when you were in when you were 18, 19 or whatever. But do you think it was easier to get closer to be have formicisterly bond then than it is now? Oh, 100 percent, right? Because a, you don't have the other influence of let, you know, when you are married and have a family, they come from when you're making a girlfriend, you know, it's not, you don't have the time. Yeah. But I think also just the fun, you know, it's a very such a carefree time. And you just have like funny things happen, right? I mean, you're going to all these fun exchanges and some like funny thing happens and you get fixed. You know, you do duty when you do, you know, you get fixed up where they you wouldn't even know the person you're going with. Oh, totally. But you got right to go to parties like you're going and it's just all those hilarious things happen all the time. And so then you have all that, you know, fun, mutual, those fun, mutual memories that, you know, it's just a different time later in your life. And then living together, of course, you know, is hysterical. You're all sharing the bathroom. The back then we only had one phone in the hall. Yeah. So it's like someone may be on with their boyfriend. You'd be like lined up, you know, I mean, everyone's wanting. Oh, my God. You have the whole. Yeah, the house. I think I got a phone in our room, but it was like a voicemail. Well, right. In the boyfriend, my boyfriend, my husband now, he would leave like the longest voice smells and it was just hilarious. Everybody in the room, we'd all listen to him. Screening. Give me his love. And we're like, that's so cute. I love that. I do, I think. And I think when time passes to you really are excited to see your friends and about here about their life or maybe someone that you worked with. Yeah, I went on to work with a lot of my stories. Oh, yeah. When I moved to DC to LA, I'm fertile. Maryana Defterios, all of them were working at team one. I was. Yeah. So, um, Sue helped me get an interview and it was a blast because we work together. So a lot of us in the story, we would apply for jobs on the campus. And often it was, you know, working events before the football games for alumni. So whatever they needed us to do, I forgot what we're called. We were called some kind of ambassadorship. So it started then we started working together. Me and my services. So it was natural that we would continue working together and get paid, which is. Yeah, it's been better. Yeah. So we kind of already knew how each other worked and trusted each other because we had already sort of worked in an environment together. And so without even knowing it was just an easy, like when you needed a little hookup, you trusted that that person you're going to do a good job because you're on whatever we called it, the board or what do we call our officer positions. On the board, I think it was the board. Yeah. The board. Okay. Yeah. Thank you. I'm sure I don't know, Jennifer, if you know, like you, to get a good room in the sorority, you had to earn points, right? Do you know this? No, we did a lottery, but go on. Oh, you're so lucky. We had to work for it. We had to. Yeah. You had so many points if you were like, uh, the president or vice president or the pledge trainer, rest chairman. Yeah. Wow. So you'd want to kind of negotiate who your roommate was to get a good room. You want to be with someone that also is involved. Otherwise that person's going to pull you down. I did okay the first year, but the next year, I don't know. I don't think I held an officer position. So I kind of pulled my group down. So we put on the third level for Allison and we got a roommate who we loved, but it was still like, and it wasn't very cool because it's like very, you know, was caught up there. Oh yeah, I was up there. That can happen too. I think it's so interesting because I feel like if you get a request from a sorority sister, like let's say my, you know, my kid, Jennifer, my kid is trying to break into for me, I don't know, podcasting or tele-measure, whatever it is. But there's something about that, like that request, if it's coming from one of your, oh, for sure. Right. Because it definitely holds weight. It does. I always am hesitant to even ask friends like that. Like I always am hesitant to ask Paige anything because I know in her heart, she wants to do it and I don't want her to push herself. You know how it's like, I just worry about even doing those asks because I know that's how people feel. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Okay. So just tell me this, do you feel like you can, I know what the answer is going to be, but I'm going to ask in any way, especially Janet, when you have this big reunion coming up, but even when, because it is hard to keep in touch that you get, you have a lot of sisters, not at every school, but at Moe, you know, the ones that I'm thinking about keeping constant contact. But do you feel like you can just pick up immediately where you left off when you see your sorority sisters? I think it will be like that. I'm excited. I think it's going to be a blast. Yeah. And it's going to hear about their life experience and, you know, like what's going on in their kids and, you know, yeah, it's going to be so great. I think it'll be just like we left off. I want to come. I think it sounds like the most. I know. I'm totally inviting myself to do it. You guys are welcome. Are you kidding? Everyone, everyone. They're on a smaller skate. Bye. Yes. It would be so great. Give me maybe from each one of you some advice you have for graduate, for graduating sorority sisters on staying in touch after college. Judy. You know, I would definitely continue just what I'm doing and set up a text stream. I think better. So many people aren't on social media or on different platforms or like your messages can go to spam. So I would just say, because I mean, honestly, my biggest advice is literally the day of graduation and just count on, you're never going to see some of these people again. I know that sounds like kind of sad, but I think if you have that in your mindset, you're going to make a little bit more of an effort. Yeah. It's great advice. It is good advice. That I mean, I can remember the party I went to graduation. It was late and I remember I had to leave to catch a flight. You know how you stay all the night because we were going somewhere and I remember thinking, I didn't say my this person that could, and I do because I'm kind of this person. I'm always thinking about weird stuff like death and well, you know, only have this much time to live. So I was like, this may be the last time I see that person. And sure enough, it was like there are people that I, they are just not on social media. Right. They are literally disappeared from this planet. But I know they're alive and living and I wonder what happened. It's just like, there's no way to get a hold of some of these people. Like they've chosen probably to not want to be in contact. But isn't it a cool feeling? Like when you all of a sudden, like you're on social media and you have one of the, I mean, we use Facebook, I don't know, you know, and you sort of, but like a lot of the, I'm talking about going back a ways and all of a sudden people you may know. And all of a sudden like this old sorority sister pops up and you're like, Oh my God. And then like, you know, yeah, that they've just sort of been hiding and they're like, hi, I'm here. I've been watching you all the time. Yeah. I'd say think of it that like that might be the last time you see that person. So really, unless you make an effort, you may never see them again. So what about you, Janet? Any advice? Well, I, but I think Judy's advice is absolutely right on. And I would say like, because with my work, when I lived in New York City, I would be in Europe so often with, um, because I was in the fashion business, right? So I'd be in Milan or this nut. And it was what you were saying, Judy, I miss so many of my sorority sister's weddings because my career was like, you know, first and look, sometimes you can't go, but I probably could have left a day early and made it to the wedding. But I thought, oh, there'll be another one. You know, you're kind of inundated with all of that throughout a time. Everyone's getting married. You think it's just going to always keep happening. And you know, all these things are so special. And if you can do it and you can really make the effort and you can swing it somehow, you should try to, because you see everyone there and you keep the connection and there's such special memories. And it's, it doesn't, it's not like that all the time, you know, because we all are in different phases of our life. And so, yeah, it's just great advice to seize the day, right? And appreciate it. Totally. Ladies, thank you so much for joining us. I hope your reunion is so much fun. Nice to meet you Jennifer. All right, guys. So that's it for this episode of Dirty Rush. Please make sure you follow us on Instagram and TikTok at dirty rush podcast so you don't miss new episodes, exclusive clips and more. This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human.
