Game 7 of The Masters

Well hello to all the wonderful podcasters out there, wherever in the world you're listening right now, we truly appreciate it. Dana here, yeah I'm a sports junkie, I'm a wing lover and of course a smart club member because I trust my home comfort is standard heating and air conditioning and I really think you should too. But right now it's HVACmania and these deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted. You can score a $45 coupon on a furnace tuneup, normally $148. And no, it's never too late to show your furnace some love. And if your system is about to crash out like a 5 seat against a 12, now's the time to replace it on your schedule with 0% financing from standard heating and air conditioning. Go to StandardHeating.com and mention 93X. Standard heating and air conditioning. Providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Oh look at you. Just look at you. Gotta be honest, you don't look so good. But that's alright. Nobody looks good at 5.41 on a Monday morning, especially after what you put yourself through over the weekend. Welcome everybody, no matter how you look to the 93X half fast morning show. Bah-wit-ta-bah, huh? We were just talking bah-wit-ta-bah off air a little, I don't know, last week. Yeah, a couple weeks ago or something. We were talking about bah. Yeah. I can't remember how that came up. I don't know. And then it happened right there. I started singing bah-wit-ta-bah out of nowhere. Last week, a special hello right away this morning to a feller called Drivers Ed Jesus who was busy yesterday trying to teach my niece how to drive a motor vehicle properly. My sister and my niece, they say you're a nice guy and that you listen to this year's radio show. They wanted me to dump a shout out on your ass. So again, hello to a man who has a very difficult job. I bet he's got some stories. That's an important job too. I mean the way he teaches affects the rest of us in a way, not just the person behind the wheel but everyone they interact with on the road. That's an important gig. Right. I just kind of wanted to do that. You wanted to be a driver's instructor. Yeah, I like the third kid teaching them and I have fun doing it. Oh God, that sounds like a nightmare. I like my youngest is going to be like in six months. He's going to start taking Drivers Ed so we've been giving him little lessons on the road. Difficult, stressful, important. Yes, I bet he has some stories. Hello to Drivers Ed Jesus. Effects a lot of us. How he performs his job, how thorough he is. Certainly it affects a lot of us. I bet it kind of sucks. I bet it totally sucks. Yeah, I bet there's a 40% suck rate. Yeah. Because you're probably dealing with some total morons. And you know, all ages, all everything, it'd be kind of tough. Jesus, you know what? You're putting your life at risk. I know they got those breaks in, at least they did when I was, I'd imagine they still do but. Been many years and you know what, let's go the other way with this. We got a man down. Tough, I think for any adult, especially a dude, when he hits this mark. An old timer that I know. Recently, his insurance company said, look, we're not carrying your ass anymore. We don't think you should be driving anymore. Tough day. I even kind of got slightly emotional when I heard the news. Donnie, old Donnie, he's 90. They said, his insurance company said, nope. That's probably for the best. Well, of course it probably is, but the point is, especially for a dude, you hope you die before you see that day, right? Where you can't get behind the motor vehicle, behind the wheel of a motor vehicle and drive. So a moment of silence for old Donnie. Yeah I think that would be very difficult and some people are cool with it. Like when my, I don't know anybody who's been cool with it. My wife's grandma was cool with it. Oh. She's like, I get it. Yeah, I probably shouldn't. You know, I've scraped up enough vehicles. I got enough yellow pylon paint on the side of my car. But I would think it'd be pretty, it'd be tough. You've lived through a lot if you're that old and they're, well hopefully you're an old person when they take your keys away. Yeah. All right. I do feel bad for like the person that whoever, my grandma didn't get a license until, I want to say she was in her fifties. Oh wow. Just never wanted one. Like grew up on a farm. I think she drove on that thing and just never got a license. But she was scared of everything. The freeway, she wouldn't do it. I mean it was busy street, stuff like that and she kind of would freak out. She would have these little panic attacks. Even in an emergency she'd take the back roads. Oh, it didn't matter. Yeah, she would, I mean, like she wouldn't really go a lot of places even when she got her license because she wouldn't go on a freeway. So whoever had to teach her how to drive, I bet that was a harrowing experience. My grandmother on my- Not a patient you need. Oh, I'm sure. My grandmother on my mother's side never drove. She lived to be 95 or 6, never drove a motor vehicle. And that's, I mean there's taxis, right? But that was way before how easy it was with ride shares and stuff like that. Like now it doesn't seem like it's as big a deal. No, nowadays? Yeah, I mean if you're living like in some of those huge cities, seems like a lot of people don't really drive. If you're in the middle of nowhere, is it be a pain in the ass? But yeah, city people, you can take a cab anywhere. But my grandmother on my mother's side never drove a motor vehicle once in her damn life. Up at the crack of dawn Jesus said his grandpa was 95, had a close call, just gave up the car keys and said he's done. Hey, that takes a lot of balls. That he offered up the keys and said I'm done? Yeah. That takes a lot of balls. He was self-aware. I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend. If you care, and I wouldn't blame you if you don't, I tried something for the very first time last night, a certain type of live entertainment. Just for laughs and knowing that we have about, I don't know, 18 minutes to film, film isn't the word, 18 minutes to fill, would any of yous like to guess what I was up to last night? It was a certain type of live entertainment, never seen anything of the like in my lifetime up until last night. It was the first time I've seen professionals perform live. Did this have, can I ask a couple questions? Absolutely, Cubby. Was this in Tijuana and perhaps a seedy establishment? Kinky Kelly in the sexy stud? I'm sorry? Kinky Kelly in the sexy stud? I was more thinking that donkey show I've heard so much about. Is that what you're referencing? What is Kinky Carrie in the sexy stud? It's the name of a donkey show from a movie. Oh yeah, what movie? I don't want to tell you now. Why? Clerks 2. Oh, I didn't see Clerks 2. It was terrible. Did it hold up to Clerks 1? I loved it. Both of them suck. No, it was not a donkey show. It was an improv comedy show. Good guess. I believe I've seen one of those before. Okay, because I guess you obviously seen stand up comedy, but maybe like the improv might have been something that was a little bit different. We went to some of those in high school. Some were. I thought you and I had to go to one of those as part of the radio station. We had to see an improv comedy show. Improv? I don't remember the improv. No, it wasn't improv comedy. Yeah, I mean some of those would be lights out how funny they were and how quick they were and others were. If you suffered from secondhand embarrassment, it was a rough night. I have no idea. This is hard. Was it the ballet? That's a really good guess. I was thinking some sort of dance or like a gymnastic style. Cirque du Soleil style. You're warming up. You're warming up. Oh, if we're going that route, then cheerleading maybe? Cheerleading. Yeah, like cheerleading competitions? No, I don't believe. You like the movies. Oh, sure. Bring it on. Bring it on is one of my favorite movies. Josh is very warm. Was it the circus at the Mall of America? No, wow, the circus is in town? I thought so. Or is that this week? I don't know. All I know is that they were like, hey, there's a tent up here. Okay, yeah, I drove by that the other day when they were setting that thing up. It was musical. Orchestra Hall. Oh, go ahead. I'm going to ring it because that's close enough. We went there a couple of times. I'm going to ring it because that's close enough. Okay. Now, first off, hang on a second. The circus is or is not in town? Looks like it is. And they're performing at the Mall of America? In the parking lot. I don't know if this is an every year thing or it seems like it happens quite often. It happens once a year, I think. Really? Full on circus, a tent, elephants, trapeze? I've actually never gone. I don't know if they have what kind of animals they have. I had no idea that the circus came to town once a year and they set up in the parking lot at the Mall of America. That's fascinating. The first time I went to a circus, I vomited all over the adult in front of me. Oh, yeah, to my cotton candy and peanuts and whatnot. I don't remember what it was that I ate, but I was enjoying the hell out of the circus. This has got to be 1977 or something. And I don't remember where we were at, but I just remember blowing my lunch dinner all over some sorry, some bitch sitting in front of me. I was so sick. It probably was candy and I haven't been back to the circus since. Okay. I've been to a Cirque du Soleil and I left at half time. Because you were too stoned? No, I wasn't stoned. It was like a work night and I thought, I don't think I need to see the second half. Cirque du Soleil, they hang from silk ropes and whatnot and they wear leotards and they're flipping and right? Yeah, I mean it was impressive, but not impressive enough to stay up that late on a school or a work night. Rang the bell on Josh's guest when you said orchestra hall. The first for me, this was the first for me, I went and saw a string quartet. At least I think that's what it's called. I really don't even know. No, three people's on the fiddle, right? One on that whole smear, right? And then one sorry, some bitch on the cello, four people, three fiddles. It was something my wife found online. We went downtown last night to a fancy schmancy hotel. The name of the hotel escapes me now. But this four, this quartet put on that string type music. They played all Beatles and Queen. Oh really? Yeah. Yeah, there's some of those, what are they, the something cellos, those two guys, I think it's two guys that run around and play nothing but like tool and some heavy metal stuff. See, maybe this is the same group. I think it's just two guys, the something cellos. Oh, anyway, this group, I think their name is, maybe you've heard of them or you could look them up if you like. I think it's called candlelight, something or another. No. They run from town to town and they do the music of tool on string instruments. They'll do 80s rock. They'll do, who do you younger people get into? Drake. They like Drake and the other guy who he's feuding with. Patrick Lamar. Do they really? Taylor Swift. Oh, I thought you were saying this string quartet. Oh no, you said who do young people? Oh yeah, but I was thinking of the gal who sells out stadiums everywhere now. Yeah, Taylor Swift. They'll do all Taylor Swift music. Looks like they do Adele too. This is really cool. If I have the correct people, so there's like an obnoxious amount of candles. Candles. Yes. Cool. They will do 90s hip hop. All, not that I meant, there was the Humpty Dance and there was I Got a Man. Those are the only 90s hip hop songs that I've ever paid attention to. The group I was talking about that's got those, the two people who play the cello. Yes. It's called Two Cellos. Simple enough. That's the name of the group. People are mentioning Apocalyptica as another group. This looks so awesome actually. It was pretty cool. I think like my favorite part would be just sitting there and like watching the candles waiting for one to like tip over. Oh, fire, fire. There's so many of them. I don't think the candles were real, all of them. I think they were the little battery operated ones. That would make sense because it looks like there's hundreds and hundreds of them. You don't want to kill 500 people in one pump at the live show because the candles tipped over. You don't want to kill everyone in a terrible fire. So, I mean when I picture your Sunday night, this is exactly what I picture. You can get a private concert. I suppose that would cost you a few bucks. This seems a comfortable. Here's the thing is I knew every single song that they played. That certainly played a role in my attendance. I wouldn't go see the tool version of this because I don't know a hell of a lot of tool songs. Sorry if that butt hurts anybody. I wouldn't go to the, what did you say? Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift. I don't know any Taylor Swift songs. That's got to be, oh that sounds like so much fun because you know the mute or their little, they start fiddling and you're like, oh what is this one? You're trying to figure it out. That's fun. They were all absolutely massive songs by the Beatles and Queen. I'm much more of a Queen fan than I am a Beatles fan but to hear them pump out love of my life and Bohemian Rhapsody and ... What you're describing Ashley reminds me of watching Westworld. I never finished the series but on HBO I think where all of a sudden you'd hear like an old timey piano playing a song and wonder is that black hole sun from Soundgarden? They'd play kind of some more, well I don't even know if you can call that a modern song but you certainly compared to the setting of the show. I love that kind of stuff. It is cool. Did you have to dress up for an event like this? No. Hopefully it looks pretty fancy. No, you could wear whatever you wanted. I wore a pair of blue jeans. How long was this? One hour. Oh. Oh that's perfect. Yeah. That's all you need. Beautiful. Did any of yous ever take up a string instrument as a young person? No. No, I did choir instead. Outside of guitar. Oh yeah, guitarist. I didn't even put ... the ones that you play with a ... No, a bow or what? A bow. Like a violin or something. No. I've never even held one. I was considered a ... at least when I went through into school like pretty lame. Seeing those musicians play that fiddle, I kind of wish I would have taken it up. Me too. Because as you might imagine Josh, with them playing some Brian May from Queen on the fiddle, they had to do a little bit of fingering. Yeah. Similar to the guitar in that ... so there you go. I've always been impressed with those instruments. I knocked that one out. Like I bet the people who play the violin can shred. Oh, I guess we learned that from revenge of the nerds. Oh, right. When they put their band together. Right. One of the gals last night was doing some shredding on the fretboard. Is that what you call it? Yeah. Well, I guess I'm assuming that's what they'd call it on a violin. I don't know. Yeah. It does bum me out thinking like back to middle school when you had to choose, all right? Choir or band? And I chose choir because it was nerdy to choose band. And I regret that so much because it would be so cool to know an instrument. Yeah. Now I wish I knew how to play these things. But I think I chose choir as well because there's no practicing involved, really. You just either you could sing or you couldn't. Yeah. We didn't have a choir. If you could sing, they'd just put you somewhere in the middle to drown you out. I got thrown out of the grade school choir. I went to a couple choir concerts to support family members and it was pretty entertaining. It was? Yeah, absolutely. Because of how bad it was? No, honestly, they were really good. One was in high school and college, especially the college ones. Oh, yeah, I bet. A lot of text messages coming in from folks who have seen similar type of programs live where a group of, I'm sorry, I don't know the terms, so I'll just keep calling them string musicians, a group of string musicians sit down and play popular hits. For me again, last night it was half Beatles, half Queen. Wait, I'm sorry. Can we go back for a second? I want to know why you got kicked out of choir. Because me and my buddy Pat could not handle as fourth graders or whatever we were. We could not handle the fact that one of the lyrics in the song we were singing aloud in choir, one of the lyrics was, Rock a Ma Soul in the bosom of Abraham. And the fact that bosom referred to a big set of jugs, if you're a perverted fourth grader, we couldn't sing it, we couldn't stop laughing and so Pat and I were thrown out of choir, never to return. Bosom was all it took for us to be, we had to take a knee that was so funny that we were thrown out. Oh, I remember that like in a Bible passage where a teacher would read that word and it was very difficult, especially for the boys to not bust out laughing. Do you recognize the lyric Rock a Ma Soul in the bosom of Abraham? I'm singing it as I remember it from fourth grade. Anybody? No. No clue. You had to be there. So it was an hour, I was in and out of there and I have to say that I would probably do it again if in fact I know the songs. Like if they had a Kiss or AC DC or Van Halen version of this, I would absolutely buy a ticket. Country girl kind of redneck, she's just said that we should check out the Minnesota Orchestra movie series. I've heard about those. Oh. I've heard that Star Trek or Star Wars soundtrack and stuff like that. Heard they're very good. What a cultured crowd we have. Many many text messages coming in saying they've been to that type of show or they'd like to go see that type of show. Particularly credit to the group last night if for some ungodly reason they're listening. They absolutely nailed under pressure by Queen last night. Nailed it. Any singing at all? Nope. Just the instruments? Just those damned fiddles and that cello. That's cool. But now I've got to get back to this circus. Is there a chance in the same week I might have the opportunity to see a string quartet and the by damn circus? Yeah, it probably goes through the weekend. Let me see. I like I said haven't been to one of those since 1977. Goes through the 19th. The Royal Canadian International Circus. Canadians. Royal Canadian. Goes through. Goes through Sunday. Oh they got the motorcycle globe. I've always wanted to see one of those. Oh man, those are sweet. Come on. Yeah. At the motorcycle show I think it was. They used to have that or maybe it was the auto show of it both. Those guys, that's insane that talent. How fast they end up going? At first you think wow that's kind of fast and then all of a sudden they're going it's like you can't even see them they're going so fast. How do they not hit each other? It's incredible. The globe of death, whatever they call it, the dome of doom. They have that in Royal Canada? Incredible. I only ever saw that gimmick. Okay that seals it. One or two of us have to go to this circus before they move it back to Canada. If they've got the dome of death, the one time I saw that pig was at the state fair in the midway. I know some of yous are going to go huh? Because usually, especially back in the day what you saw in the midway was garbage. You know, the games are garbage. The shows are garbage because they're just trying to give you a quick cheap thrill and take your money and get you the hell out of there, right? I'm not shocking anybody by saying the midway can be a little bit of a shady scam, am I? But one morning, Big Al and I I think were the first two swing and deez to walk through the gate at the fair. We went down the midway as soon as it opened and we see this cage, this circular cage and it's got, it says you know, Uncle Frank and his death defying dome riders. Big Al and I, you had to walk up a set of stairs so you're above the dome, right? And down there, satin in the dome is about a 45 year old guy and a couple of 13 year old kids. One of the 13 year old kids I believe was smoking a cigarette. And we said, hey, go ahead. We paid our money and they said, oh, well it's show time already. We were the first two guys there and they got on their motorbikes and like Josh was describing, you know, those two 13 year old kids were going about 111 miles an hour, somehow narrowly missing each other as they spin and the old man that I was mentioning a minute ago, he's just on the outside of the cage looking at it like it was nothing, you know, it was obviously not new to him. It was new to us. Al and I couldn't believe our eyes. I think we even said to the guys, what the hell are you doing here? Surrounded by all these scams. You guys should be doing a world tour charging 200 bucks a ticket to see this. It was free on the midway. I couldn't believe it. Now it was the only time I think they appeared there. Maybe because they took our advice and said, yeah, what are we doing? And they I never saw them again, but it was an incredible show. They got that going at the Canadian Royal Circus. They got a dude getting shot out of a cannon, which is awesome. You know those big like hamster wheels? But the ones that they spin up in the sky, there's a dude like jump roping on one of those as it spins around. I don't know the hamster wheel, but it sounds fun. They got dancing ladies. They got I don't see any clowns or animals dancing ladies. Let's see. They got a strong man. You got a strong man. Do they got a guy that's going to come out and pump out some squats for us? Sounds like it. Yeah. That's very exciting. I didn't hear word one about this. Looks like there's a show every night and then Friday, Saturday and Sunday you got a couple of options, two shows. Oh yeah. This is the circus. Yep. Okay. Here's the Perv printer. I forgot this element of the globe of death. The Perv printer has texted in and he said, yeah. I remember Al and I doing this when we saw the show. You could hold a dollar bill above the globe of death, right? And when that 13 year old kid with a cigarette in his mouth, when he whips by on his motor bike going 111, he'll grab that dollar out of your hand. Oh cool. I haven't seen that. Yeah. You're right. Single and looking Jesus said they usually have the Doma Doom and Elko about twice a season. Oh cool. I don't know if they're messing with me, but somebody else said they had it at the Renaissance Fair one year. Well, that wouldn't be allowed, right? That doesn't seem right, but I'm not going to. They act like it's. They use horses. Right. What do you call it? The Renaissance Festival wouldn't allow that. Everything is it's it's everything is 1635 over there, right? IT Systems Jesus said they have it at the Renaissance Fair every year. I what? I haven't gone in a couple of years, but I've never seen it. I have never seen that or heard of it. Interesting. I must go on the wrong weekend. Fair enough. I hope McGee is texted in to tell us that elephants are illegal in the circus in the United States. Nowadays. Yeah, I've heard something like that. I don't know how real it because of the terrible beatings that they received. Oh, the terrible beatings. All right. Well, there you go. She's a Monday morning. I'm guessing we'll get a little bit of Randy Shaver and Brad Ryder in the mix around 730. Anything else we need to cover at this particular moment? Cubby? Nothing that I can think of. I got nothing. I just hope everyone has a wonderful day. Yeah, get ready for the storms. I got. Oh yeah, how bad is that going to be? It's over the weekend. It could be bad. I didn't check today. I was reading about it this morning. Sounds pretty bad. Sounds pretty bad. Even here? Yep, like mostly here actually. Oh, really? Yeah. Please no hail. Please no hail. Yeah, that's what they're saying. Yeah, pretty large hail, possible tornadoes. What are you worried about the hail for? I can't have to replace any more stuff at the house. Please just no hail. Meanwhile, over here, I'm like, yes, please hail. Oh yeah, it's great when you need a roof or something. It's awesome when that happens. All right, yeah, they say there could be some thunderstorms a little bit later. We'll get a moving in the right direction here when we come back. We'll kick the piss out of that stupid news report. Thanks for joining us here on the program. Half-assed morning show. 93X. Well, hello to all the wonderful podcasters out there. Wherever in the world you're listening right now, we truly appreciate it. Dana here. Yeah, I'm a sports junkie. I'm a wing lover and of course a smart club member because I trust my home comfort is standard heating and air conditioning and I really think you should too. Right now, it's HVAC mania and these deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted. You can score a $45 coupon on a furnace tuneup normally 148 bucks and no, it's never too late to show your furnace of love. And if your system is about to crash out like a five seat against a 12, now's the time to replace it on your schedule with 0% financing from standard heating and air conditioning. Go to standardheating.com and mention 93X. Standard heating and air conditioning. Providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back, your shoulders, your knees, maybe your joints, you need help. Randy Shaver here with the answer. Dave Bialke, he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers' compensation benefits for people just like you. Don't suffer. Call Bialke Law today, 763-571-2410 or go to BialkeLaw.com. That's B-I-A-L-K-E-Law.com and it spells relief for you. Hey there, I'm Paula Pan. I help people make the smartest money decisions possible. Do not ever worry about your salary. You need enough to make sure that you aren't in a bad financial position. Once you have that, your salary becomes moot. What matters from that point forward, upside gains. Any type of ownership stake or ownership potential, that's the money. Remember, you can afford anything, just not everything. Afford anything. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Stupid news on the half-assed morning show. You know what old cubby was telling us a few minutes ago? The circus is in town. The damn circus. He says it's over there at the mall plus America out in the parking lot. I didn't hear Dick Tracy about this. I haven't been to one of those. Haven't been to a circus since I was a tiny little kid. I'd like to go back. Got a couple of text messages on the circus. Where are we now? 651-989-9393. That's the best way to get ahold of us. Luther Bloomington Key at Taxline and all that. One listener taxed in and he said this. He said, we used to have the circus come through my hometown every year until an elephant broke loose and it stomped its way through an old folks home. Did that really happen? Sorry. I hope everybody's okay but I just love elephants. They just don't give enough. Isn't there like a killer elephant on the loose somewhere? Oh yeah, we've talked about that one. Running through the trees. People keep going missing. India. Comes out of nowhere. What in the world? And they can't catch this son of a gun. Which sounds ridiculous because how do you not know what's coming? Like a reindeer or an RKO. Comes out of nowhere, Ashley. Is this texture telling us the truth that an elephant really cut loose and kick its way through an old folks home? Get back to me. Sounds like something happened in the Simpsons. So we got some texts earlier about the circus. It's apparently a different kind of a scene these days. Like I was saying earlier, I think it was probably 1977, maybe the last time I went. People tell us that we're not allowed to have elephants at the circus here in America anymore because of the beatings. And then someone else texted in, cubby, and said there's no clowns at the circus anymore? I'm interested. Interested in? No, I might be interested in the circus. There's no clowns. Oh, you don't like clowns. Yeah. Sorry, I forgot. No, I wasn't following there for a minute. But right, you don't like clowns. What are you talking about? There are no clowns. If in fact that's true. All right, so I looked it up. If that person's hometown was Sock City, Wisconsin, August 28, 1977, that exact same thing, that happened. Dude, what? Exactly what they said. You're going back to the old folks home. Yep. No way. Sock City, Wisconsin, late 70s. Oh my damn. August 28, 1977, made its way through the village's nursing home. Were there any survivors? Oh, I got to click back in there. But that would liven things up a little bit of that place? No, nobody was even injured. Oh, OK, then I can laugh. Damage to the main hallway, no one injured. Residents were eating lunch in the dining area. Oh, but they were. I bet some of them didn't even move. Didn't even notice. They can't hear it, yeah. Eff it. Go ahead, just trample me. I'm not getting up. They didn't hear a frigging thing. I've been that lazy. They can't get up. Yeah. A lot of them can't get up. That's really interesting. So anybody have a guess on this no clowns at the circus movement? Anyone have any idea if this is true or what could have caused such a thing? Fair enough. Well, there's the wrinkling, wrinkling brother still has clowns, it looks like. They've never laughed before in some situations. Clowns. Oh, geez, I looked it up. Just this is just what Google says. So I don't know. Google could be wrong. It's been wrong before, but it says that they prohibit clowns at the circuses now because of people with severe clown fears. Oh, look what you did for the rest of us, Ashley. I like it. We can't enjoy a clown all because of you. Is that for real skis? They've eliminated clowns in some certain situations because of the fear. Those who have clown phobias. Yeah, it's like cold, cold, ruffobia or something. I'm probably saying it completely wrong. Yeah, I can't remember. One of my best bros just texted in. Vinny, you know Vinny, right, Josh? Of course. He's originally from Wisconsin. You're talking about your doctor? No, not Vinny Boombots. Okay, different Vinny. Regular Vinny. Vinny's originally from Wisconsin. I've been to his hometown. It was miserable. Anyway, he says also Sock City, Wisconsin is the famous birthplace of Culver's Restaurant. Oh, I knew it was from Wisconsin. I didn't know specifics. Well, we owe them a big debt of gratitude. Clowns never laughed before and beanstalks never grew. I don't know if I want to go to the circus if there's no clowns. Well, if you're going to be there. They'll at least be one. Sing. We did get one text message that said, it's the Twin Cities, you guys. Does the circus ever officially leave town? Oh, that's fun. She's got hand sanitizer in your eyes? Yeah, that hurts. Oh, geez, that stings. That is very stingy. What? I just got hand sanitizer in my eye. So that happened. I wish everybody could have seen the play out in real time. It's always the eyes. How did that happen? I put it on too aggressively. Why are you putting it? It's just you over there. Why are you putting it? It's like, have you noticed? I go for it all the time. Yeah, you do. I'm not a germaphobe by any means. It's just here and for whatever reason. It's a nervous reaction. It's got to be. I put this on and I was way too aggressive and I took a money shot of hand sanitizer right to my eye. I'm like that if I have lotion here. I don't know if you guys ever noticed that, but if I have like my little lotion out, I'll reapply it like 50 times during the morning. I have no idea why. I think I've burned two or three layers off my hands from. Yeah, it's like a nervous thing. I just grab it. I don't even notice when I'm doing it. Your skin's just thinning out. I'm drunk by the end of the show. You know what else you do when you're nervous? What's that? You palm your forehead. Oh, do I really? Yes. Like this. You see what I'm doing? I'm gonna have to pay attention. I've noticed him do that before, but I haven't noticed that it's when he's nervous. Do you see how you are? Oh yeah, I definitely know I do that. Yeah, you palm your forehead. Another listener is sexy. Now we were talking about the circus coming to town. Killer Elephant, the lack of clowns at today's circus. A listener says in the early 90s in Hawaii, an elephant by the name of Peanut broke free and went mental. Doesn't mention the death toll. But Peanut the elephant stomped his way through Hawaii in the early 90s. Alright. Now, none of us would expect, tell me if I'm wrong, none of us would expect that the drunkest guy in town would be the guy who manages an alcohol free bar. But you know, there's all types out there, Cubby. And you gotta remember, people do stuff. Chicks are most likely to do stuff because, why Josh? I would just say chicks are shady. Because they're shady. And they do stuff. Right. Chicks are the most likely culprit when it comes to doing stuff because they're shady. But people in general will do stuff. There's a bar in completely pointless Scotland. There's a bar called sober, SOBR. Jesus, they were so hopelessly drunk when they opened the joint that they couldn't spell it. Well, that's how you know it's fancy. You know, if you leave one or all the vowels out, it's a fancy place. Just like if you go into a restaurant and it's very dim, you know, it's gonna be fancy and expensive. I've noticed that any place that decides the vowels are gone, gonna be kind of fancy or trendy. Or if the food item says market price, you know they're gonna charge you an arm and a leg. Oh, I guess I've seen that before. I guess they don't really have that like at Culver's and Chipotle. No. Like place with real napkins and what. Right. The few times in my life I've been to a place like that, I've noticed it. A bar in Scotland called sober SOBR. Oh yeah, now that you bring it up, Josh, the last time I walked into a joint that had an alternative spelling to try to, you know, grab your attention, it was kind of fancy. And I think I even said to myself, wow, this place is fancy schmancy. But you know what kind of altered my perception of the joint? They even had an elevator that went from the ground floor. Second floor was for dancing and carrying on. The third floor, I think there was like a patio up on the top of the building where folks could sit out and have dinner. Right. I thought of it as fancy until I tried to get on the elevator. Well, I did get on the elevator. When I walked on, someone was getting fingered. Whoa. Right there on the elevator. Hot stuff. That kind of drops it down a level or two to quorum. That's what I thought. I thought, look, I could see this anywhere. Yeah. I thought this place was supposed to be fancy. I mean, you could see that in an embers back in the day, but you're not going to find that at Manny's. Right. Elevator doors open and there was a fingering happening on the elevator. Now I'm just picturing why there'd be an elevator at a embers. What does it? Your point was made regardless. All right. Sober, SLBR. They don't serve a lick of alcohol in the joint. No beer, no hooch, no wine, no nothing. It's like hanging out at Cubby's house. So this here joint, again, sober, they created it for, quote, those who love the energy of a great night out without the overhang that follows. No alcohol at all. So ironically, the manager of the joint, a prick by the name of Hayden, he ain't afraid of the sometimes brutal side effects that follow a night of getting faced. And he's also that special type of selfish bitch who doesn't mind endangering the lives of innocent people by driving while annihilated. Hayden was just convicted of drunk driving. This was after he got pinched by the cops for being behind the wheel at more than four times over the legal limit. Apparently Hayden got in a terrible motor vehicle crash. The police found him all disgusting looking behind the wheel of his broken motor vehicle. Luckily he hadn't killed anybody dead in this crash. It says here the owner of sober, the zero alcohol bar where Hayden is the manager. The owner has come off very sympathetic and supportive of Hayden so far. Drunk driving, jag off that he is. Pretty douchey move. I wonder if maybe he works at a bar like that to remove the temptation. He just knows, boy if I work at a real bar I'm going to be in some serious trouble. Well it's not working. Yeah it's not working. A listener has texted in and I was telling that story about that fancy place I went to in Minneapolis with an alternative spelling to the name of the bar. So I thought well this is going to be fancy and then I walked in and it was fancy. Until I walked into the elevator and someone was being fingered I thought to myself, well that kind of takes the polish off of this joke. And the listener has texted in wondering what Josh's mother was doing at that bar. Or what she was doing in that elevator. If my mom was in that elevator in that situation and shame on you, she'd for sure be doing the fingering. She's a classy lady, she wouldn't be on the other end of that. I feel sick, why did I get involved? I didn't get involved. I just didn't want people to think she'd be on there getting taken care of. It's a defense mechanism. It's like I'll get myself before they get me. Yes. That was gross. Yeah it was. What's wrong with you? Disgusting, you people. If I was a parent and by God... I mean there's a chance. I'm sure glad I'm not. If you play the odds there's a chance. Sure. You might all of a sudden get a knock on your door and think why is there a 35 year old man at my door? Don't you think the telephone would have rung by now? Maybe. I mean sometimes it doesn't. No you're right. I mean I've seen it in person. I've been at the home of a... Well I'm much older than this guy. I think my pal was around... Maybe closing in on 40? He was closing in on 40 and he got a telephone call from a gal that he knew many years ago. And she said it's time you meet your son. He's 20 now and he wants to meet you and he said I don't... You and I didn't have a son and she said well yes we did. Oh Christ I can even top that. Well maybe I am still in trouble because another pal of mine who is mid 60s now? Mid 60s? He just found out he had a near 40 year old son. Yeah. And the son wanted to finally meet him and he said well that couldn't have been me. Hang on a second. It was me wasn't it? And she said yeah. So he's... I'm trying to think how the youngest your child could be. Like how far back, when did your whoring stop is what I mean? Let's say maybe 10 years? Could you have a 10 year old do you think? It stopped huh? Oh yeah sure it did. No no it did. Sometimes I assume things. It did. Oh it did. Oh of course it did. The way you're so insistent suggests to me that perhaps it didn't. It's hot in here? Did you guys throw up? It is. It is hot. Let's talk about my mom and an elevator real quick. We'll take the heat off of you. That's a good question. What's the oldest the kid might be? When'd you get started? Because we have to start there. That's the sad answer that maybe... Oh god. I'm gonna see what the oldest. 38, 30, 39? You're 40. 33 for me. Your oldest, the oldest possible illegitimate kid you might have running around town would be 33. Mine would be around... closing in on 40. Is that possible? Yeah yeah closing in on 40 yeah. Alright if I was a parent, I'd be hoping this doesn't become the latest sick or epic thing on that godless social. Because if it does, I'd be expecting to see my teenage kid in the emergency room fairly quickly. If this trend catches on with the young people down in the repulsive farth southeastern portion of our country. A group of kids took to playing what they call here real life Frogger. I can see the appeal. Boy did I love that game. Anybody here play Crossy Road? No. Sounds familiar. Never saw it. Very similar to, well pretty much the same thing as Frogger. You can play it like on your Apple TV or whatever you play. No I haven't heard of that one. Video games? Frogger, yeah when I was a kid I liked the game. I actually played it somewhat recently. It must have been just on my computer. I must have bumped into it somewhere here at work. That's a fun one. To kill time after we get off the show. For younger folks I'll explain what Frogger is or was. Frogger was a very popular video game in the early 80s where by damn you are a frog. And you're trying to cross a busy road so you had to cut as your frog character. You had to cut in front of cars and tractor trailers and what not in order to cross the road. And that was only half the battle. Then you just got to hop your frog ass across a river on logs and lily pads. But you get the gist. Well this group of middle school kids were dodging in and out of traffic. Running and cutting in front of cars in busy traffic. And they were damn near getting killed. Dead. They were playing like the story says real life Frogger. There was about 30 of them. 30 kids. Oh and by the way you want to hear something cool. These little kids they have a name for their group. They've affixed a title for their friend group. Or at least this group of middle aged risk takers that run around. Josh this is badass. The kids refer to their group as PG 13. Because that is intimidating. Just like I mean you guys know there's nothing more intimidating than the material in a PG 13 movie. I see that and I kind of I have to look up online what I'm getting myself into to decide if I want to keep pressing play on that. Because that's as high as it gets. I mean there's mild violence. There's the possibility of brief nudity. The possibility of strong language. Somebody might be smoking. Right. I mean hang on to your ass. It's the PG 13 kids everybody. Hang on to something. You know that's why I always loved Edge. A.K.A. Adam Copeland. One of the finest television wrestlers to ever live. Absolutely. But when he went by the moniker of the rated R superstar. I thought that was really stupid. Because I thought to myself. Oh rated R. I don't know if I'm ready for that right. You're not. You're not. Okay so the PG 13 gang. They are tough. Other than dodging in and out of traffic. These virgins. That make up the PG 13 gang. They were also busy climbing up on the roof of buildings in the neighborhood. And. Tearing up the grass. In a local park. With their rebellious electric bicycles. Boy not trying to sound like the oldest guy in the room here. But those electric bikes are getting a little out of control. Yeah they are. Especially the ones that look like motorcycles. Saw some like. I'm gonna guess. Nine year old girls. You know two to a bike yesterday. Hauling ass. It was. Looks very dangerous. That looks. That sounds so scary. I got them all over my neighborhood. And man am I jealous. They look fun. Oh they look like a riot. They go faster in hell. I just saw a story on the news a few days ago. That says that. 12 to 18 year old kids. Are choking the emergency rooms. Because of these electric dirt bikes. Yeah they're working on legislation right now. To try and figure it out. Cause there are some rules. But even the cops. I've talked to a couple cops about it. Like we don't fully understand what we can and can't do yet. The rules are weird. They're all over the place. And as far as just the. I mean some of these. Bikes I guess. These e-bikes or little fake motorcycles. They haul ass. Dude. We would have all been. Dead or near dead. Had they. At the minimum an amputation of some sort. Had they come up with those. In 1982. F me running. I'm jealous. That looks like a friggin blast. And some of them look awesome. Yeah. Now the. Folks over there at. Schwinn and what not. Huffy. Are they in deep trouble. Are there any kids anymore. Riding a pedal bicycle. I don't see it too often. I mean we got a lot of kids in our area. It's certainly see them. But most of them are e-bikes or e-scooters. We're going to have. A lot of kids. Coming up here. With some. Weak. Skinny little legs. No one pedals anymore. And I wouldn't either if I were them. I'm just saying. We're going to be in real trouble. We're going to have. No Olympic cyclists. They're going to can all the bicycle races in town. Because no one rides bicycles anymore. The young people don't. Okay. What else is happening. All right PG 13. This terrible gang. Who are. Playing. Frogger in the middle of the street. And tearing up the lawns with their electric bicycles. The cops are asking. Grown folks. Their parents. To talk to these kids. The cops are more or less saying. If you don't straighten these little. Puked bags out we will and you won't like the way we do it. Because this is how we do it. They said. It is true. I mean. Those. Those. E-bikes aren't cheap right. I guess I have no idea. I don't believe so. Regular bikes can be expensive. Oh wait a minute. I do have an idea. I thought you had two of them. Right. But I was. I do. But I was. I was. I was. I do. But I was. Thinking too specifically about the fake dirt bikes. I've never purchased one of those. But yeah. I'm going to guess three grand. I'm just a guess. Two grand. My friend had like one of those electric scooters. When we were in middle school. And I mean. It barely. Didn't go fast at all. But. I mean. I think they were. I think they were. When you were in junior high. Yeah. Didn't go fast. But you almost died. Yeah. Just because like we would mess around on them. But like that was her having that was like whoa your parents got money Yeah, I mean I guess we had one of those One of those e-scooters. I think it was like 140 bucks, but it didn't go very fast. That's not bad Kids today. It's nothing but e-bikes AI and Dubai chocolate. That's all it is and you buy chocolate gosh That is so hot so they either do where they don't buy chocolate. Yeah, well, they don't usually a parent does we do buy They do eat Where you going kid I'm gonna do buy me some job Back to the pedal bikes the closest I ever came to death on a pedal bike This is a dumbest damn thing in the whole world. It was just we were probably 13 And you know I was having one of those nights where I wanted to prove that I was fearless and that didn't happen very often I usually let my friends Take all the chances. I was rarely the guy that said hey watch this I had plenty of pals For that but on this night. I must have been in a pissed-off mood like a rebellious mood If you can even hang that title on a 13 year old kid, but I'm on my My little what do they call them back in the day like a scorpion Josh or a black diamond What are the my dirt bike right my pedal bike where that weren't those popular brands scorpion? I don't remember scorpion really. Yeah the pedal dirt bike. Yeah, I thought I thought those were wildly popular Anyway, I'm on my pedal dirt bike We're riding on the sidewalk Along a busy busy road. It's nighttime And I thought well, I'm gonna thrill my friends by riding into traffic until the last second and then I will cut off To the sidewalk again So I remember Rushing Cutting hard into oncoming traffic and I'm pedaling as hard as I can towards oncoming traffic and Right when I was gonna make my move to cut off The chain snapped on my bicycle and I went into the a wicked death wobble. Yeah Somehow I saved it and I was able to cut to the right had I not Been able to gather myself It would have been poop and that's it Why I friggin decided to do that I Remember in third grade I was all when we were on our bikes We were a little we basically my parents would open the door in the morning He'd be on your bikes till lunch leave again till dinner that kind of thing. Yep, and I would see Adults ride in the street and I always thought wow, it's really cool I want to try that out and so in third grade it's so stupid and I realized it afterwards I've done it was obviously almost died I was in the right lane there and there's somebody in the left car light turn green I turned right in front of them. Oh, no, like I thought because I wanted to make a left Oh, yeah, turn right in front of the guy. Thank goodness. They were good enough driver not to run over a moron I learned my lesson. I thought I want to dope even in third grade. I thought that was so stupid All right Got a story here about a gal who got terrible sick. I Mean she got terrible awful sick She comes from Greece Don't you know total nightmare out that way Greece This friggin situation all began the gal She found herself hanging out with some sheep. I Think she was working outdoors Met some sheep along the way it doesn't matter, but she found herself hanging around some sheep After crossing paths with that pack of sheep she said she noticed an Ass load of flies Swarming around her face. Oh That makes me a rationally just so angry like her face was a doo-doo pie. I'm gonna wait for me flies everywhere Those gnats can get kind of aggressive too and they'll real team up on you. God. Yeah Fast forward a week later her sinuses were going mental And then comes the coughing Okay, despite all that this Greek gal wasn't too concerned overall until The incident One day she sneezed out a worm She sneezed out a worm So that's what's to happen, right? I don't think so typically not no That prompted a trip to the doctor's office and the doctors did not Find good things they pulled I forgot what did she sneeze out she sneezed out a worm What Doctors pulled summers around 10 or so worms Out of the nose holes and sinuses of this Greek lady one of them was a smooth five and three-quarter inches long So big worm Okay, it turns out back what she was hanging out with those sheep Parasites called bot flies jumped from the sheep On over to her face holes. No. Oh my god, and then they went ahead and made babies in her face It says here more often than not the little bot fly parasites will try and settle into our eyes It's always the eyes But but they will They'll you know if they don't get into our eyes They'll settle for our ears or noses anuses if they have to and then they bump out worm babies And it's so nice and warm and wet in our bodies. They love it up in there Yeah, aren't those the ones that like burrow into your body and then burrow right back out like the movie alien the bot flies Is that right they can go insides and then I thought those were the ones Yeah, and they'll just pop out just like the movie alien through your skin. I That's a hell of a deal. I think that's bot flies. They don't mention any of the worms busting through her muscle and skin Uh, they just mentioned that they were living in her nose and reproducing Again, they they love the eyes the ears the noses all those warm wet places So doctors pulled all the live worms out of this lady's face the little worm babies all died there on the operating table And they gave the lady some medicine and now she's she's doing all right Yeah, I bet there's some emotional damage after that. Yeah, I really I'm having a really hard time with this one I knew a kid Who could sneeze out a noodle on command The same kid could throw up on command just a legend in school sounds like it And I'm surprised he's not dead because we'd be like do it again. Do it again. Do it again Did he have one of those stupid deviated septums or something? Yeah, I I'm not sure a must but he and his sister was the same thing where he could Swallow something and then hawk it up through his nose. Yeah, he could sneeze it right out, right? Yeah, somehow there was a A pathway there. I mean, I mean naturally there is but I thought for some people It's easier than it is for others because of maybe a deviated septum. There's a wider space for things to travel could be Did he pull that noodle out of his nose and then he ate it? No, he didn't eat it. No, he never ate it Oh, I thought what wouldn't that be wouldn't that have been the grand finale? It was a one-way trip Huh, yeah, he never he never ate that thing. I would have I would have eaten it I would know no you would have what no a true eater like him. Absolutely taking that noodle. Yeah It goes in my mouth. Yep. Yep. I'm picturing it and then I go And it it's hot your nose. It hangs up my no I pull it out of my nose and then I ate it He's not pulling it out of somebody else's nose I don't know. I guess maybe we just weren't creative enough to come up with I'm just different to me I don't know why I'm dwelling on this but I'm thinking that this kid missed an opportunity to really To be super girls to really drive the bit home Yeah, maybe he modified it. I only went to grade school with him. So maybe in high school. He modified it I do want to show some balls for pizza. Eat it. I never thought what a wimpy one Show sucks came out of your nose. Okay. Where's the rest of the bit? Yeah Big deal. You sneezed out a noodle, right? I do I should take this opportunity to apologize to the Minneapolis park system because We would when we hung out with these guys we'd meet them at a park And who are these guys the people like the brother sister I was telling you about right and so They would throw up a lot of times on the tennis court And like I said, we would tell them to do it over and over and over and over again We couldn't get enough of it. It was a brother sister team. Yeah, what did she do same thing? She had the same Oh, I missed that. I thought it was just one guy. No, it was the the guy was the star of the show And she once he had to recover a little bit. She'd step in she would also Swallow things and then spray it out of her nose. Yep. She could throw up on command same deal same talent down to family That's crazy. Anybody ever, you know Kiss her Maybe I mean I didn't go to school with her too long They ended up moving away, but you know fourth through I think sixth grade I never knew any girls who would join that gross out competition Well, she saw how much attention her brother was getting attention is the key and decided hey, you know what I can do that I want to get in on that. Yeah, unbelievable sports On the 93 eggs half-assed morning show. Oh We've got a truck around This frankie munez is one of them and Tyler rife in the 42 truck. Oh no Frankie I told you he always crashes. Yeah, he's getting so much crap now from other drivers Oh f them. I gotta feel bad for him. They can kiss his ass. We were talking last week about frankie moon. Yes I think that's how you say his name the kid from well, not not a kid anymore. He's 45 years old His name is not moon. Yes, my moon. Yes you munez Frankie munez Munez I believe the kid from malcom in the middle the dude from malcom in the middle He drives now for 11. He's been driving for years He was set up in the craftsman truck series last weekend in bristol, Tennessee. He crashed I told you the sum bitch always crashes, but I like his style. That means he's trying Anybody try the reboot. Yeah, I watched it. It was no, I don't have hulu. I I do want to watch it though I liked it a lot. Oh, you did. Yeah, it was really good Oh, I got like halfway through the first episode and I go, ah, this is not what it used to be So you did use to like it. Yeah, I loved it back in the day. Okay. I thought it was really good Josh, you'll probably cry during the fourth episode though. Uh, does it get you in the fields? Yep Yeah, like shrinking does that to me to the point where I'm mad at them The new malcom in the middle show is available to people. Mm-hmm. I'll tell you more about this race When we get to 7 30 with randy shaver and brad writer is more information about this race in bristol Starring frankie moon Yes, uh, the pigs are a playing tonight. We know their situation From here on out as far as the playoff go the wolves played last night jv type of the thing We know their situation now. We'll fill you in and all that At 7 30 also, we know what their situation is going to be for the playoff The twins are too much fun to ignore now They took two or three from the blue jays. They got a home game tonight Against the boston red sox. Like I said, randy and brad will be ducking in whether you like it or not Stick around josh has some more news coming up for you next Half-assed morning show 93x well hello to all the wonderful podcasters out there wherever in the world you're listening right now We truly appreciate it. Dana here. Yeah, I'm a sports junkie I'm a wing lover and of course a smart club member because I trust my home comfort is standard heating the air conditioning And I really think you should too right now It's h-fac mania and these deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted You can score a 45 dollar coupon on a furnace tuneup normally 148 bucks And no it's never too late to show your furnace of love And if your system is about to crash out like a five seat against a 12 Now's the time to replace it on your schedule with zero percent financing from standard heating and air conditioning Go to standard heating dot com and mention 93x standard heating and air conditioning providing the comfort you deserve since 1930 Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back your shoulders your knees Maybe your joints you need help randy shaver here with the answer. Dave b. Alki He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers compensation benefits for people just like you don't suffer call b. Alki law today 7635712410 or go to balki law dot com. That's b i a l k e law dot com And it spells relief for you Next roll with vernon davis. I'm your host vernon davis. Okay y'all. Thank you. Thank you. That's my Today we have each wise through my example on the field off the field during game day in practice That was one way that I led because then it led to success next roll isn't about what's next It's about why they do it my man bobby bones like I've had a lot of stuff happen bad and good And so I don't have any fear of mixing it up. That's powerful man Next roll with vernon davis. Follow and listen on your favorite platform 93x half-assed morning show nice nice 93x nice I just started praying I asked him to keep my office safe because I didn't know what else to do in that moment Counselors are available on campus to support any student who may need to talk about the situation a texas high school teachers bizarre hoax managed to shut down an entire campus last week 53 year old nicole true love cool name a social studies teacher at Splendora high school outside houston pressed a panic button after being stabbed by herself The result a full-blown lockdown Panicked parents rushing in tears all over false fears a student had stabbed a teacher in the chest A review of surveillance footage and interviews with students later confirmed students weren't involved at all It's not yet known why but it was completely made up during the investigation was determined that there was no assault on a teacher The injury-sustained teacher was self-inflicted evidence supports that this was a hoax The teacher who only joined the school a year ago was arrested and charged with felony tampering with evidence and filing a false police report So she's she's totally insane. Yeah, that's psychotic. That's a damn shame with such a sweet last name. Yeah How do you ruin true love? I mean this is how you you stab yourself in the chest and blame a student So she particularly said a kid did this to me. Yeah, apparently um, at least that was the fear so My assumption is she mentioned it. Wow She crazy. Yeah. Yeah, she made it all up the district superintendent called the strange incident Very unfortunate She's gone. Yeah, she has been uh fired never to return most likely not very unfortunate. Yeah, that's funny Yeah, I agree. I agree with that guy. That's why he's got that big job Yeah, if you remember josh in that movie that we both like so much called alpha dog With uh, oh what's his name just in timberlake. Oh, yeah, he's in there too. I was thinking the main character's name is johnny true love Yeah, that's a cool last name word In cranky anchors Crank yankers. Is there a true love spoony love from up up? That's what you're thinking of spoony love from up above Yep, that's exactly right A 51 year old didn't want any women Contacting him if they had c-section scars Oh my god, what is every man's gotta have a code And he also because he was filling out a uh like a dating profile if you remember spoony love from up above He didn't want no c-section scars. He didn't want any women that would steal his stuff A 51 year old man was injured while trying to entertain guests with a homemade pipe bomb Travis peachy's hosting Like yeah, hey look at this I've been to a lot of house parties And I don't think once the host said hang on everybody Here's the main event put down those cards right poker chips I'd be interested. I've been to parties where they're store bot pipe bombs, but not homemade that takes a new level of dedication You know what? I want to go to a party where they're shooting tannerite. I want to see things blow up They've got some ar-15s out there just blowing crap up. I'd love to go to a party like that Dude, why not? So this guy hit pause on the barbecue so he could show his friends his homemade pipe bomb Well, that was his intention His hosting ambitions blew up in his face quite literally when the device detonated outside his pennsylvania home Earning him both a trip to the hospital and a fast pass into police custody Well, how in the hell did it go off all by itself? I'll tell you word authorities got involved after he showed up seeking treatment for injuries from a bomb explosion He told troopers he tried to assemble a pipe bomb because they were supposed to have guests over and he thought it would be good entertainment Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? They weren't even there. This guy's got all the ideas man According to peachy he initially placed the device on a pile of wood near a backyard shed But when plans changed and the guests bailed possibly due to excellent instincts He decided to retrieve the dangerous party favor and bring it inside According to troopers he was attempting to disarm the explosive when he accidentally dropped it and it went off He ended up with injuries to his face and eye plus a bonus souvenir a piece of shrapnel lodged in his head Once investigators finished piecing together what happened He was charged with two counts of endangering the welfare of children risking catastrophe possession of an explosive three counts of attempted aggravated assault and three counts of Recklessly endangering another person they threw the book at him. I'm sorry. How the hell did it go off on his own? He dropped it. He dropped it On the bright side. He's expected to be okay on the less bright side. He's being called an idiot Yeah, I would have to agree with that for the foreseeable future. Yep. He's not getting much sympathy from folks in town Well, I told you before one of my friends who has been incarcerated for decades Now and will remain there for the rest of his life One of my pals growing up made a homemade bomb And fortunate for all of us it went nowhere. He didn't make it correctly We had a kid in the neighborhood who did that. I don't know if they really worked or not, but he set it off What the heck he set it off in a crowd of people when we were about 14 And I didn't have the balls to get in his way I was I was pretty worried about it. I didn't have the balls to get in his way Luckily it it kind of when the bomb went off he made it out of Firecrackers and he's a 14 year old kid. So not the brightest son bitch ever Um, he wrapped it all in like old paper bags like grocery bags wrapped it tightly with duct tape And when it went off it was kind of like you some of yous have babies and whatnot It was kind of like if you step on a uh A talcum powder bottle Or you if you squeeze a talcum powder bottle where it just Baby powder, baby. What did I say the talcum powder baby powder? Yeah, that's what I meant to say Where there was just a there was just a a cloud there was a A cloud kind of blew outwards and that was it. Yeah, he he failed thankfully terrifying. Yeah Authority said a person was injured after a car exploded on a virginia freeway last week Emergency personnel responded thursday morning to reports of a vehicle explosion They probably already make a warning label for this But information suggests the fire was related to a propane tank inside the car As hank hill might put it that boy ain't right Authority said the driver was transported to an area hospital with non-life threatening injuries that car got pretty worked over amazing Person wasn't hurt worse the propane tank, huh? Just last week we talked about a man pulled over with a bumper sticker reading sorry officer I thought you wanted to race Another recent high speed stop featured a bumper sticker that said I thought you were bringing my wife back And now there's last wednesday in florida Which delivered a truly unique yet seriously weak excuse from the drunk behind the wheel Along with some attitude from a passenger who absolutely did not need to get involved A bonita springswoman pulled over for going 123 miles per hour Had an unusual excuse when she was asked why she was going that fast Her answer was as direct as it was absurd. It's a supra That's why she said as the deputy questioned the excuse for the blistering speed of the sporty toyota The passenger jumped in for some reason pushing back and insisting they weren't going that fast Again, they were going 123 which is awful fast if your last name's not earnhardt Yeah, I would argue that that's relatively fast if you ask a regular person they would say yeah At one point the deputy brought up a prior stop involving the same car noting It had already been clocked at over 100 miles per hour Again, it's a supra the driver explained. Why are we going so fast? Honestly, it's just because he has a supra. That's why Look honestly, it's just because he has supra and then I thought I was all right. Okay, we go fast and there we go To be honest and it's not my car and it's his car And this is his parents car The real answer for her decision-making came later after being tested. She registered a 0.23 nearly three times the legal limit So she put all the blame on the car Correct, not her fault. No like it like it's herbie the love bug or something Herbie I loved that movie. She didn't say it with much conviction I thought maybe josh we were looking at the next toyota supra super bowl commercial or something I mean picture one of the kelsey brothers or something behind the wheel because you got to have the kelsey brothers involved or It's a total fail, right? They're involved in a lot the cop pulls them over and why are you going so fast? It's a supra. You know that kind of a thing I can see it now. Yeah It didn't take long for a pennsylvania man to make his feelings known about extra responsibilities on the job In fact, he snapped so fast it would have taken longer to microwave a burrito Just one minute after clocking in at work He clocked out a co-worker punching the other guy in the face because he believed he was doing the other employee's work 35 year old mckinley pace jr. Had barely arrived when he started complaining about picking up other people's slack I've had enough he yelled with one specific co-worker in mind I'm gonna punch him in the face. He said the co-worker shot back. I'm right here. You don't even have to go upstairs That was a mistake because pace obliged Apparently a man of his word He introduced his fists fists to the co-worker's face multiple times Then he approached the co-worker's wife and hit her in the face too for some reason Well, what the hell is the wife doing there? Well, they're work together. I guess. Oh, maybe they carpool. I'm not sure But that brings his wife to work every day. She was there and she got hit in the face Punched the wife in the face The general manager later said pace had been on the job for about one minute when he launched the attack Police were called to the restaurant, but by the time they arrived he'd already hightailed it out of there He came in hot The federal aviation administration and department of transportation are zeroing zeroing in on a new generation of air traffic Controllers they're going after video gamers A video released by the federal department of transportation friday takes direct aim at video game enthusiasts As part of a hiring surge to add nearly 9 000 more air traffic controllers by 2028 I wish I had that skill set. Yeah me too Although you and I are too old. Oh, yeah yet up to 31 is what they're looking for too old The video asks gamers if they're up for the challenge while warning the job isn't just a game. It's a career You'll keep millions of people safe every day. The video says yeah, we hope so highlighting average salaries of up to $155,000 by your third year on the job. No college degree is required So for any aspiring job applicants sick of your parents telling you video games are a waste of time You're soon to be rich ass can tell them to suck it To reach the next generation of air traffic controllers We need to adapt the transportation secretary said in a statement This campaign's innovative communication style and focus on gaming taps into a growing demographic of young adults Who have many of the hard skills it takes to be a successful controller? He said According to the department exit interviews with departing air traffic controllers show gaming is a common hobby And shares clear similarities with their work Right now 11,000 air traffic controllers are on the job another 4,000 trainees on the way At least 2400 were onboarded in the last year marking the largest incoming class to date And a record year for enrollment at the atc academy in oklahoma city Well, I'll tell you what I don't give a rat's ass what your background is just don't screw up Yeah, it's a pretty important gig. That's for sure Video gamers like drone pilots. They're looking for video games really Like in the military and that was the one I was trying to think of another You know hip gig That I thought I had read video gamers were being asked to apply and it was drone pilots The um what a sweet sweet way to make a living. Yeah, I don't know why we haven't in a while But we used to maybe because people are really advertised as much but we had When we would kind of partner up with the different branches of the armed forces We'd have these recruitment campaigns. We got to go hang out with recruiters And um, I was talking to a couple guys that are like drone pilots That's what we're looking for and they were talking about like some sort of rock star they were getting ready to enlist that was like 19 years old and You know 19 year old woman that they said was just like going to be a superstar in this and it was same type of thing Great gamer and they were pretty excited about it. Dude Ricky schroeder star of nypd blue and of course silver spoons 56 today clay on sons of anarchy the original hellboy and vincent on the original beauty and the beast back in the 80s Ron pearlman 76 Ron pearlman. I liked that beauty and the beast. Oh, yeah like that show never show We watched it when we were kids never once Uh, we'd like to pass along our best to the family of a brotherhood member named mark who passed away last month as services today So a tough time for mark's family and wanted to make sure they knew we're thinking of them prayers From the brother and sisterhood to you guys Shout out to kpop demon hunter. She's listening this morning. God. That is so popular. I've never seen it It's like a huge award-winning show people love it my No, my seven-year-old nephew was absolutely obsessed with it like he can quote almost every episode. It's it's kind of insane I've seen the trailers but that's about it Another shout out to mosh crusher jesus on a road trip this week seeing a lot of rock and roll Happy 50th to the one and only Buberella from her loving farm boy Happy birthday to one cool kid shoots it dear seven times and misses jesus's daughter turning the big o nine today And happy birthday to our longtime co-worker and friend christina. That's 93x news Randy shaver and brad rider on the half-assed morning show And scottie sheffler has the putter out dotty. It's actually look quite good That grip just looks so comfortable It is firm enough. I just cannot believe how slow it is from back there You can see some pretty crazy finishes from scottie back there with the shape of the hole This thing is getting a lot of action with his best friend on the bag must grab And then there is joy and relief to finally get it done here at august the nation Very sexually suggestive Jesus, I guess very suggestive material this morning randy I wonder who put that together Josh you're i don't even know how to work a machine. No, no, no Just falls into our laps around here randy shaver and brad rider. Good morning. Get it over with master's update Who's in the lead shame shame on you josh for i'm impressed you're leading off with this He wants to get out of the way. Yeah, exactly. Okay. Well if josh would have if josh Okay, fine. We'll admit josh put together the sexually suggestive master's audio I'm at the mercy of the boss if josh has audio of hockey We'll start with hockey if he has audio a baseball will start with he went with golf. So now we go I don't want to get in trouble I'm very demanding He'd whoop your ass who's in the lead at the master's tournament. It's all done. What time do they tea off today? The tournament is over with rory mackleroy won his second consecutive green jacket yesterday. It continues today No, it's over over Just like This year again Rory is a rare repeat winner at august That was the end of it Just for yesterday the whole thing whole thing's done whole thing's over with yeah Well, then what time do they tee off today? They don't have to today because they wrapped it up yesterday. Oh god the tournament. Yeah. Yeah, let's let's move on rory won brad's right He let's just move on frustrating Can't even have a Sensitive logical con conversation about it forget it You're gonna have to cancel your Golf party today. Nick because it wrapped up. Yes. I got a subway sandwich a football No, they're those big party party sub nice. Nick you heard you've heard about scottie shuffler He was the one who was arrested last year remember you like you liked that story What did you get arrested for last year? You gotta you gotta rest it for trying to go around the scene of an accident at that one tournament No Remember that I do I do I got the party in second place But but where do I what do I do with the party sub? I got it for the final round of the uh, I'll buy it from you. Yeah take it to a matinee theater Just sit there by yourself eating a party sub. I can tell you where to stick it Tell me all about it The tournament I mean The tournament tell me all about it a brad pretty much told you rory mackerel One is second consecutive green jacket the first to do that since tiger woods and only the fourth player to ever win back-to-back and You know, he had a he squandered a six-stroke lead on saturday. I thought he was gonna blow it I I definitely thought he was gonna blow it. He was two back after the first few holes yesterday. Yeah. Yeah, I know Here's a question from a listener. Does he get a new green jacket or does he just have to use the one from last year? I think they give him a new one. Yeah, I do. Yeah I mean augusta is the one place probably on tour where Experience plays such a huge role in how you do Uh during those four days because these players know this golf course so well and know all the little secrets of playing how to play certain holes and things like that and I think that's what allowed Rory especially on the back nine yesterday to kind of take back control of the of the of the leaderboard to win because he just really Even though he bogied 18 he's still You know the back nine he played exceptionally well and you don't do that unless you understand the golf course and and how to play it so I think that's why a lot of people like watching this tournament too I mean because if you watch golf even casually and you tune into the majors or some of the bigger tournaments Sometimes when you're watching on sunday, you're not exactly sure You know what some of these holes look like well if you watch it every year you know, you know You know 13 14 15 16 you know what these holes are and what they what they bring So it's a little bit easier for the casual golf year to watch because you've watched it for so many years And it's the same course every year not like the other majors where they bounce around from different courses from year to year Here's a listener says they don't get a new jacket. They only have one jacket Pass around like the Stanley cup They don't watch it. Yeah, is that true? They only have one jacket and you traded A Okay, uh more questions from our listing audience about this golf tournament another guy taxi then he said he thought Uh, it was today too. He uh He said he thought it continued today a lot of people are asking when it wraps up. Yeah um A guy named Garcia a swung his club and missed the ball all together. What no, what did he do? You talk about Sergio and off the t-box where he slammed his uh In frustration slammed his driver into the t-box. Well, they say he missed the ball. I don't know what that means so, well, I think he missed actually If this is the If this is the shot that they're talking about I saw I saw him T off he was not look if I had hit that shot I would have been so excited But he didn't like it and he slammed his driver Kind of like a child would slam their toy into the ground Like three times and and that's he got I think he got fined for that By the masters because that's not something they allow Players to do they don't allow temper tantrums. No, they called it a code of conduct one. Yes There he is beating it up frustrated Sergio. He hits the ground and then Not only do you take it out on the t-box, but that driver is done for the day. It happens What did they tell you on the fourth ball? I'm not gonna tell you did they give you a warning or something on the fourth? Nice question, please He didn't want to answer that question. No, he's still upset. No, he's still mad. But but if you looked at where the shot ended up I think it was in the fairway short of the bunker at least that's what I thought I saw Man if that was me, I would have been like holy cow. That's the best shot I've ever hit but for him That's not what you want. Yeah, these guys are their douchebags Uh listeners other golf fans are texting in they think before next year when they do this tournament now Why don't they cut new holes in different parts of the field there? So they have to shoot the ball at new holes anyone thought of that I don't know what that question means. You know what? I mean they're used to seeing the hole in a certain spot Why don't they put it in a different spot? They change the pin location every day every day every day of the tournament They change the whole location. Like I said, these are golf fans asking questions. They don't know these things So they change the hole every day. Mm-hmm. They change the pin location every day. Yes, I'll be damned I just looked at that Sergio shot He hit the ball 310 yards I know In the fair one. Well, it it didn't know it didn't i'm rolling into the bunker. Oh, did it go into the bunker? Okay. Yeah, but but still He hit a 310 yard That'd be okay with 310 Yeah, here's something I know about that masters golf competition. Uh, it's over apparently Well, actually Coffee and cuddles with my cat jesus taxon said sorry just tuned in who's leading the master Oh man, okay, here's what I do know they had a no telephone policy at the masters, right? You cannot carry your phone on the golf course. You're not allowed to jaw jack on the telephone while these entitled People you're not allowed to even pull it out play golf Uh, there was a scam going around At this year's masters. Let me see if I can piece this together for you properly So say a jay brone is at the tournament He's not allowed to bring his telephone onto the golf course So a scammer would somehow get a hold of the jay brones wife. I don't know how these scammers are able to do this And the wife would receive a voicemail from someone claiming to be a police officer With the augusta georgia police department georgia, right? Yep. Yep the officer that went would then claim the the officer in quotes would then claim That he uh, that the woman's husband Whose name they had somehow found out is in police custody and asked the woman For money to bail him out well That's your first sign. It's a scam so This was going around the masters tournament this year. It sounds like a few people got suckered But most people just didn't answer the toddler didn't answer the email. Yeah, right, right? And the reason why they probably get away with it is that you can't contact your loved one Who's at at the masters because they don't have a phone, right their phone. They can't use the phone. So Lillian Cannot use the phone What uh stand-up comedy movie? 6 5 1 9 8 9 9 3 93 Lillian cannot use the phone. I don't give enough if the house is burning down 6 5 1 9 8 9 9 3 93 if you have the answer Well, we're all happy Um That it was another success Can't wait to talk about it next year Yeah, should we start our 20 27 masters preview? I think well there's something that you didn't get to say Did I did did I step on it you got to say everything? You know in a couple months we get to talk about the us open I don't know what that means And that's the next major golf tournament. Oh, yeah Yeah, six five British open John dear Jesus was the first to get it correct Eddie Murphy raw Where Lillian was not allowed to use the phone So at last Kevin Garnett walked smooth onto the floor at target center last night and everybody soiled themselves. Yes, they did So we got that out of the way. It was kind of cheesy It was a little bit. It was really cheesy. But you know what it's okay. Yeah It's all right. He's I think next year with the Jersey retirement that will be pretty special Did you notice how Alex Rodriguez and J. Lo his business partner walked slowly in pace with Kevin? Garnett as he entered the arena. They walked behind him though. Oh, they were right next to him. No, hey everybody We're the ones who got this to happen. I'm Eddie. What's his name again? Eddie? Alex Rodriguez. Alex Rodriguez and this is J. Lo. We're the ones. Yeah Pretty much anything named glen taylor would have been able to get that down exactly so And then the wolves played a full-on junior varsity game with the new orleans pelicans, which I enjoy don't get me wrong I like watching watching the jv guys too. And that's all That's it for the regular season until the playoffs begin and we learned last night because this team peter burrow lost and this and that We know now that the timbal will will be facing the denver nuggets Which does great things for my overall mental health Well, there's history there obviously and the wolves have had success against denver. So I think the big question nick is health How healthy will the wolves be? come saturday When they play denver Of course, you got to have a You got to have every pecker head out there firing at 100 if you want to go far in the playoff 230 on saturday, I think I heard last night that we gained one with the denver. No. Yeah, I uh jamal murrah makes me crazy Yep But the rest of the denver nuggets I ain't mad at them The lakers the lakers I have real trouble watching a lot of the members of the los angeles lakers so selfishly at least from my mental health The outlook is good. I'm I'm still going to be irrational and angry and and everything during a playoff series That's just how any sports fan is wired, but thank christ. It's not the lakers Well, and you better have crime video if you want to watch the playoffs or the first round anyway Prime for video. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is again. This is what I said the other day This is what drives everybody crazy right now is that you have to have a streaming service Um, and in order to watch these games and that's just not right. I'm sorry. That's just I think the mba is doing themselves Such an injustice by doing this Game one on Saturday on prime video Yeah, I'm a prime video subscriber, so I'm I'm fine, but most people probably are not and You know, it's just it's frustrating for NBA fans that I mean literally look at the playing games every single game is on prime video Yeah, every single playoff game. It's also paying the aster bar owners, too Yeah, other than the rockets lakers on saturday night The all these playoff games are all on prime Well, I'll have to finger that out myself Corey can't beat me at golf. Jesus. By the way, he complimented our master's coverage Uh, he uh, taxed it in to say you see He taxed it in to say and I I heard this last night the wolves timber wall One in three against the nuggets this season one in three He thinks the wolves are done. Well, it's possible. Of course. I mean there's the western conference is so friggin stacked. Yeah But yeah, they're going up against probably that arguably the hottest team in the NBA right now I think denver's won 12 in a row. They're hot. Yeah, yeah, they're friggin They're rip roaring red ass hot. This is hilarious. So this guy and okay, so Nothing happening tonight in the NBA But tomorrow they start up the play-in games tomorrow and wednesday It'll be the play-in games and then by the weekend the playoffs the real playoffs will begin I do enjoy the play-in games Yeah, they play tuesday night wednesday night and then friday night they do the The final play-in games to see the top eight at that point. So there's like three days of play-ins Yeah, we'll give you those uh matchups tomorrow. Who's playing who in the play-in? I got a kick out of this. So this guy constantly gets his balls busted for being injured all the time and now Joel m bead has to miss some time because he had his appendix removed Appendix. Yeah, no kidding. That can be bad right as the playoffs are about to begin The locals in philly are going to be inconsolable on this one, aren't they? They're not going to forgive them for having a bad appendix. Are they? Probably not He's played in just 38 games this season. He hasn't played more than 40 games in a season in three years And right when they're ready to go in the playoff his appendix goes sideways on him Any of you boys ever had one that thing dragged out of you? No My son did yeah My cousin did it was bad. It was it was bad hers burst. I mean it was real bad How he's heard bad things about a burst appendix. Yes We both have gone to the hospital for gastritis, which is embarrassing that when we called into the die It was like three days of misery and they're like you got to get in now at your appendix. Well, you stuck it out for three days Yeah, I couldn't sleep. It was awful. Absolutely awful. I was I was in an ambulance within about an hour, but anyway um Sounds sounds rough Add a buddy got his taken out he got you know rushed off to the emergency room And they had him go to the bathroom before the procedure and the pain was so bad He passed out and hit his head on the toilet and got a concussion A little insult to injury there. Yeah Oh, it'll be a battle for me personally to keep from splashing Last night's dinner all over myself while reading this but i'm gonna go ahead anyway with the disgusting oklahoma thunders Locking up the top seat in the western conference and the best overall record in the national basketball association for the second straight season Oh, i'm starting to get a lot of saliva in my mouth That's the worst Oh, here it comes Just purge yourself. You'll feel better Yeah, just go for it Hang on a second. I know I know Yeah You know what it burns This is my stomach burns. That's the acid acid Uh with the disgusting awful oklahoma thunders. Okay, they're number one chat home grin who plays for the thunders says here He has never finished worse than a number one seed in his basketball career. Oh good for you God When he played for mini ha ha academy They always were the top seed in the and then he went to guzette for one year He was at gonzaga and they were the time and now with the thunders there that's How about his youth tournaments before mini ha ha where's he always the number one seed there too Now he finished runner-up in the lakeville panel prong tournament in uh 2017 Gunnavam I need an old priest and a young priest The power of christ compels you The pop uh what movie austin powers Right the first austin powers uh the pigs are now locked was a freaking rotating chair An old priest and a young priest the power of christ compels you The power of christ compels you Whoa, hello, okay Sick as a dog now Okay, okay Gunnavam That chair was just spinning. Oh, yeah, it was out of control and again, I should make it they should make another one of those No The third one was I liked it, but it was a little disney after the last one. I think they they put a lid on it Perfect perfect time. I love diminishing your turns brad I remember watching that in the theater the first one and I was the only I was the only peckerhead in the whole theater who laughed at that scene Where he starts saying the power of christ. I think I was the only guy who knew the reference Right the pigs are now locked into finishing third in the division. So they'll start to play off on the road against dallas Texas on saturday they lost to nashville and dallas defeated peter burl. So she's official Both clubs have two meaningless games to go the pigs play at st Lewis tonight and that at home against somebody tomorrow night Anaheim they're calling up all the junior varsity guys the playoffs start on the weekend But I don't think we know exactly when do we don't know they have not come out yet They probably uh They're gonna have to try to dance around a bunch of You know master stuff Dance around the nba and figure out how to make it, you know All that kind of stuff they're gonna be in competition with the masters on television somebody did text in earlier and ask when game seven of the masters is Pig stars this is it For game one Yeah, we'll find out when game one is and we'll tell you about it. We will what random ass streaming services that gonna be on Colorado okay, they're the number one overall seed in the west at least Their head coach might have a badass look on his mug Come play off time dude took a puck Jared bednar is that the correct name of the head coach of the colorado Dude took a puck off his face over the weekend and he might have a nice shiner to show off on the bench for that opening round Was it during that game? Yeah Okay, took it right off the wow Snazz bust up his face pretty good. That's gotta hurt. Oh, yeah, that'll hurt you a little bit So, uh, I don't know who the hell are they're playing in the opening round We'll we'll get around to it when they make all these official announcements, but uh, he'll have a badass look behind the bench That could be inspiring to his club Are the atlants allowed to wear those kebek nordic sweaters in the playoff I I don't know because damn those are gorgeous aren't they They wear him quite a bit during the regular season too. I thought I read that they wear him fairly often During the regular season. I I hope to see him in the playoff because those are gorgeous the old kebek nordics. My god What does this say? Well, this This isn't a very positive outlook for the man bear pigs Here's a listener who texted in to say the wild will do well in the playoffs as long as they don't have to play dallas Okay, well, uh-oh That's not gonna make me must not want to get him internet access Over the weekend the university of denver pioneers hockey club won the third ncaa hockey title in the last five years It's an impressive run. Yes, it is in the title game saturday. They defeated a team with a It was a red and white uniform concept boston university. I think it was The pioneers have now won 11 national titles overall. That's not State of hockey it's the state of hockey State of hockey Junior you got florida is the state of hockey You know forget about the slogan they push on us around here We're not allowed to be the state of hockey when florida has won what three cups in the last but yeah, florida is the state of hockey Colorado is now the state of hockey junior Yep state of college hockey Let's call him the state of college hockey. I suppose Although I did get aggravated while watching just a little bit of this on saturday You know how in hockey you've got to abbreviate everything um minnesota's mini Everyone's got a nickname even the announce team Eddie olchuck. What do they always call him edzo? Uh, john butchegrass. He's never john butchegrass. He's butchie. He's butchie, right? That's how hockey players do it everything has to be a nickname everything has to be a brief So they're covering the denver pioneers on television saturday night and I almost I almost hit Power on the television when one of the announcers referred to him as the pios That's going too far pios are taking the ice here butchie What we'll call them the the nears I think I want to oh my god pios, baby Come on We get it. You're in the loop. You're you're behind the scenes. You have all the pios so The national collegiate hockey conference and chc Has won eight of the past 10 national titles those winning schools being denver four times Duluth twice nodak once western michigan once the only outliers are massachusetts and quinepeac Never left the w ch. I know I miss it so much. We all do. We all do Denver's goalie a kid named hicks was the mvp or the mop or whatever title they hang oh they call him hicksy It is kind of a time of abbreviations. Everybody's in such a big hurry a lot of good briefs out there That kid made two or three hundred saves against michigan mish In the semifinal game And then he made a pile of saves against again boston university or whoever it was at denver beating the title game on saturday night Who is uh, who is the hobie baker award winner? It's max plant from diluth. That's gotta be That's gotta be derrick plant's kid, right? I was gonna say that yes Very familiar name planner. I think they call them planner. They got janea. You have to I don't think it's planty. I don't think because if you're a hockey guy everything ends in e or ur And I think in this case, I think they'd go planner Hobie baker, okay It's gotta be derrick plant's kid, but I don't know Derrick plant also went to umd. Did he not this is a long time ago. I think so. Yes. That's the name's very familiar The twins are too much fun to ignore Yes, they are Sing it randy like you're at wriggly field If the season were to end today The twins would be the number one team in the american league home field throughout Home field throughout the playoffs if the season were to end today For was a freaking rotating chair. I thought they were a half game behind cleveland. No, they are nine and seven They are the best team in the american league if the season were to end today I was looking at this last night. That's just it's crazy how Balanced the records are in major league baseball right now. I mean the nine and seven is the best record in the american league Everybody's nine and seven eight and seven or seven and nine almost Yeah, the only team that's the only team that's above 700 Winning percentage is the Dodgers. They've only lost four games So that's to be expected because that's they've got the highest payroll by a mile Yeah, everybody else in baseball is lost between six and nine games. I mean it's it's crazy. It's parody. Good. Yeah The twins just took a series on the road over the defending american league champions. They beat toronto They beat the blue jays eight to two yesterday tristan gray hit a three run don kody cleman solo dong Taj bradley did all right. He was a little wild. Yeah a little wild, but I mean again They're giving him a leash to be able to kind of work things out, which I think is great That's how shelter does it? Yes I'm not you know hockey people aren't the only ones guilty of this. I love kory provis I do but he keeps calling everyone by their nickname. I think dana, you know him send him an email. Okay So the twins of that rois lewis is back for the first run of the playoff Gosh back on the injured list that guy just needs like leg transplants at this point hurt again Yep says here against the tigers last Thursday. He swung and missed and that was enough to f1 of his knees up So uh, what's his nuts? You just said it now. I can't think of tristan gray. No rois lewis He didn't play at all in toronto. He's on the injured Hey, let the gray kid play sure. Yeah, just let him play They made three times psi young award winner max Scherzer looked like a damn jackass Well, the guy's 48 years old. Well then go home He looked ridiculous yesterday. He's terrible go home. Yeah Up next a series that they probably won't play tonight They're they're gonna it's gonna be a hell of a deal squeezing in any games this week It's supposed to rain all freaking week. Yeah, it's gonna be bad weather wise. Yeah But they're playing playing the red socks. So, you know, I'm sure they'll have the only time in for the red socks Yeah, I was gonna say it's the only time so they're gonna have to try to get the game. They're gonna have to force them in Yeah, they're very limited opportunities to do that. That's 3 a.m. First pitch. Oh, it's gonna be yes 640 start, but really we started at 9 55 it's gonna be miserable Speaking of misery Simian woods Richardson was getting ready to start last Friday's game in Toronto and then he made like he was the new guy He went on over to the corner of the clubhouse. He upped and puked his guts out Word is uh simian had ripped down a pregame sandwich that didn't sit well with him. Oh boy Yeah, so it wasn't one of those pregame nerves things where he's one of those guys that has throw up before going out there No, I guess they were passing sandwiches around the clubhouse with some cold cuts. Maybe josh Maybe they've put uh, how do you say it? They run it through the garden. Yeah, you gotta run through the garden a special special delivery from Toronto Toronto for delivering sandwiches to us to make us all sick And he was spraying In the corner of the clubhouse like he was some kind of frigging new guy He went ahead and started the game went four innings, but he was cooked He tried to keep going but the gut rot was too much for him. It's impressive food poisoning is Awful you guys have had that. I've never had food god. It took me out Never had that problem. It's weird though. It's one of those things that's all of a sudden like whenever the last Exit is you're completely fine at least for me. There was no lingering take takes time to get better It was just immediately better. You gotta get the troublemaker. Yeah Oh, that was the case for me. I had salmonella so bad that I had to go to the hospital Oh, that's like next level. Was that different than food poisoning? I maybe it is. Yeah, they just told me it was food poisoning No, I I kept calling the I was at the u of m at the time. I kept calling the The hospital there the boyton they kept saying like yeah, it'll pass it'll pass it'll pass My mom finally decided like all right something's not right She took me in because I couldn't even put a drop of water in my mouth without throwing up And they they brought me in and they filled me up with ivy and they said yeah Your body was about ready to shut down if you didn't come in here right now That's miserable. Yeah, it was not good reefer van Jesus texted in to say that rois luis was given a bad Eliton what seems that way? He got a he got a bad one right from the get-go Uh, oh no, phil garner died. He did At 76 years old best mustache in baseball. He had a good one Won a world series as a player with the pittsburgh pirates. I believe he was part of the we are family pittsburgh pirates Yeah with willy stardom and burt blei levin and Dave parker 1979 kent to colby Tim foley tim foley Is that mixed dad? I'm sorry. Was that mixed dad cousin cousin. Okay, axles axel foley's dad Uh, if phil garnet was 76, unfortunately, he had pancreatic cancer. He also won a world series. Um, I'll get there Um, or did he win one or not? Yes, yes, he won a world series as the skipper. No, he lost in the world series in 2005 He was managing the astros the white socks beat him That was annoying very well liked guy Up and down and all over town when the white socks won a world series. Yeah, that was a pain in the ass I hate it every second of that Now, how's uh, how's about a couple of uh off the field Gang bangs here from major league baseball last friday Last friday night before the los angeles dodgers and texas rangers played a ball game in la dodgers fans lined up eight hours Before the first pitch to get their greasy hands on the latest show high otani bobblehead doll That's crazy. Some folks even got on an airplane and flew from far away places for a chance to be handed a doll That's insane. I used to camp all the dome for metro for bobbleheads back in the day Dork? Um, how long I had to camp? Dork! What what's your prized bobblehead from all that camping? Oh, I still have them all from back in the day when they were really hot for a time period at the metronome And people people would be lining up overnight and if there's any that you're missing overnight. Oh my god Oh, yeah, what a friggin dork if there's any if you're missing any If you're missing any Come on over dana. I got every you got a bunch of one of them. They cease to send them to the radio station Oh, yeah, what's the one you love the most if there's a player you're missing? Let me know who do you love the most my favorite is the dugman cave, which he's blowing a bubble bubble go I got it. Remember that one? Keep going. Oh, I got you gosh. I mean there's mowers. There's more nose. I got it. I got it I don't think they ever made a przensky. I got it I There were some sho-hi fans Who showed up for this doll? Others were general baseball fans. Some were lunatic collectors Of course Yep, who would step over their own dying grandmother if it meant that they could snatch up something of value Oh, sure. Yeah, they're just gonna flip it In the past the Dodgers have given away sho-hi dolls that included him and his dog Now the the latest I thought this was kind of cute the latest sho-hi doll Shows him sitting in a chair at the Los Angeles county jail on the telephone speaking through security glass with his former interpreter No, who's doing time for stealing millions of dollars to spend on sports betting It's cute. You should look it up And the interpreter is part of the doll too. He's got a telephone up to his yeah sho-hi's got a Wow, it's really intricate and they've got the glass between them a bunch of betting stubs on the ground Yes, there's a guard in the background who's looking at his watch because we can only talk for so long Yeah, there's oh my god the the stack of betting stubs on the floor. Mm-hmm. This is a pile Now this is a damn shame over there in seattle also last friday the mariners unveiled the ichiro suzuki statue at their ballpark And If you didn't see it, it's a statue of ichiro and he's standing at the plate with the baseball bat in his right hand And he's reaching over with his left hand to adjust the right sleeve of his jersey something that ichiro did To prepare for every at bat. Maybe you remember anyways a big crowd showed up to watch the statue unveiling But by god when they pulled the tarp off the statue for the grand Uh spiel the broke the bat broke in half That's terrible the bat broke. Oh, no. Yeah I'm just gonna put that back on there Little staple who's got the who's got the rubber cement bring out the gorilla girl There you go. Yeah, you bring out the rubber cement or the gorilla grew or what do you call that other stuff? Gorilla glue right. What was the stuff that they were they claimed? You could flex seal seal tape. You could crash your fishing boat into a uh Into a rock pile That stuff works great. Yeah, it honestly I could see it actually working for that Because the first thing you're thinking about when you crash your fishing boat into a rock pile is where's the tape? Put her back together. We've used that for a couple. Yeah, they said as long as you could get your boat out of the water You I mean if there was a hole the size of your mother's ass you could seal it up with that tape And you're on malax in no time We patched up a hole on a canoe work great patched up a hole on a garbage disposal which is spraying water the tape Yep, what was it called? Flex seal. Flex seal. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, somebody here use flex seal on their boat See I wasn't making it up. They were lying You could get a bwi by putting your boat Up onto an island at full speed Put a big things like a good time for me to drop my plug for nickham docks in there. I don't I love those guys. I just said the dump button ran or brad that didn't go over the air. Oh, come on Well, apparently when this itchy row statue was unveiled and the bat broke uh each hero, of course was there And so was uh ken griffey jr. And they laughed their nuts off. They probably had a few drinks in them They don't care what is funny. Yeah Is that up on our website maybe or uh, no, but I can put it up there Whatever, uh, if you get around to it great if not, I don't think anyone's gonna Wet their pants A whistler A professional whistler you ever heard of that? No, he upped and whistled the national anthem at a baltimore orioles Baseball game yesterday day before the word is he whooped a llamas ass I can only handle like half of that and every dog of the neighborhood Yeah, I hope it wasn't bark at the park night every dog in taxi in the neighborhood showed up. Are you guys pretty good whistlers? Yes, no, I'm all right. Can you do like can you do that in and out? I can get it done I can I can do the old in and out while i'm whistling. Yeah Yeah, I can do that same here I've gotten some odd looks over the years All right, she didn't catch onto the joke This dude that you heard his name happens to be chris He's a four-time whistling champion and a whistle hall of famer. Wow Where is the whistle hall of fame? I don't know and whistler British I They don't just let anyone into the whistlers hall of fame, of course not says here bing crossby Oh, yes, he's in the whistlers hall of fame now. Would that be From singing in the rain And I just think that's just part of his singing style. Okay I think he had a few songs that he whistled During do they let anybody is it like the wwe can anyone look up the whistlers hall of fame? It's in uh, lewisburg, north carolina. Okay Oh, that's um, I take that back. That's where their convention is Convention. Oh, were they gather and whistle for internet the international whistlers convention Okay But I don't See a location for the actual hall of fame. I mean, do you have to be a prolific career whistler? Here's why I ask axl rose, of course from guns and roses whistled at the beginning of the a couple of their songs civil war patients um Clouse mind of the scorpions whistled in at least one scorpion song being wind of change Would they be put into the whistlers hall of fame just for that? I don't know kind of like right now in the in the wwe If you're famous all you had to do is show up for one pay-per-view. They'll put you in the hall of fame All right rodney's going. I've been I've been trying to look it up and google has no idea what i'm talking about It's telling me how to like it It isn't whistler british columbia. It is Well, there you go. I'm gonna read this the restaurant Association of whistler how would say hall of fame honoring local hospitality figures located in whistler british columbia This or the whistlers hall of fame were the primary entities. I know what i'm talking about All right, I thought you were joking. I 100 was i got lucky Can we go back to bobblehead dolls real quick got a text message from cat fishing jesus He said when the twin bobblehead dolls were super popular super And limited, you know like nerds like daniel were camping out overnight so we could get his junior orteez bobblehead doll Cat fishing jesus when that was a when he said when it was a big thing His dad would show up and use a cane and act like he was all addled So they'd push him to the front of the line Is that not right that's not right Doesn't seem right. I knew a girl that she her bit was she was looking for a contact if she was on The floor of a concert and she'd be like, I'm sorry. I let me get ahead of you I think I dropped my contact and everybody would let her go That's crazy because I like that's not gonna happen nowadays like I have draw. I have lost my phone I have been completely separated from the group of people i'm with and i'm like i got to get through and people are like No, i'm just gonna elbow you in the face It's a different day and age. Thanks bro Use a big fat Controversy that's been the talk of college football. I don't know what you're saying. I thought that was over. Why do we? We're not talking about you know who recruiting classes or any that boring stuff. This is a off the field controversy I don't even want to think about the consequences here if this is true The controversy is this does ohio state head football coach ryan day Wear a nipple ring does ryan day have a nipple ring. Yeah, does he? Hey, it mounted something to ask that question. Didn't we mess with him a couple times about that? Yeah, we were at that game I'm hoping it was just a really bad angle. I really haven't haven't gotten I think it's nipple piercing guys. I really do. I'd be good for him. Look like a nipple piercing It 100% does unless he has really weird moles Could be I don't know who any of those jabronis were it was some silly podcast But they had ryan day on their podcast and they asked him do you have a nipple ring? And he said No Liar So this started last football season this ryan day character was interviewed on television And many thought it looked like the dude had a nippy ring underneath his t-shirt And nobody had the balls to ask the guy it out of No one had the balls to ask him I guess for fear of the negative impacts The answer might have on the long-term future of ohio states football program But they finally did ask him and he said Maybe something with the shirt because it sure didn't look like he had one It is clear as to having come on whatever whatever So you you think you see a nipple ring through that shirt 100% it sure looks that way. Yeah. Well, yeah I didn't look at the pictures. It's on 93x.com. Who here is wearing theirs right now. I took my note this morning. No I could never do it freaked me out too much I heard rumors of decreasing sensitivity and like I don't want to play with that game I wait till summertime. Yeah, that's a summertime thing Oh and before is it a summer thing for you randy? Absolutely. Yes, doesn't that sum bitch get hot though? If you take the shirt off and you're sitting out at the beach or something's gotta be worse Oh, I wonder. Yeah, I am a fan. Yeah, randy if the twins win the world series this year. I want you to get one I Am not making any type of bet No way You don't want to make a nipple but I will say if the season ended today The twins would be the number one team in the american league Lipity do All right before we go achin metalhead jesus texted in And he's on his way home right now from the nascar race out there in bristol, tennessee I watched a little bit of that coverage over the weekend. We talked earlier about What's his nuts franke moon? He is from melcom in the middle. He drives in the craftsman trucks He crashed right away. Just as I predicted he always crashes but listen to This now some more information on the scene out there in bristol connect bristol tennessee for the uh, how do you call it? Nascar race the grand marshal of the race Was kane mayor kane Is he a mayor now he's sometimes a politician. I can't remember what the office he holds I remember years ago when he came in studio. He was diving into politics Kaine that was of course after he was a dentist Right, uh, he was uh, isaac yankham. Right. That's funny Kaine was the grand marshal and he gave the command to start the engines And the pre game I should say pre race entertainment was the greatest entertainer of our time Okay, the second greatest entertainer of our time First being of course weirdo yankabic You guys know who I consider the second greatest entertainer of our of current time. I mean red panda red panda That's awesome. Wow Red panda out there on the track. I wonder if I can find footage of that on the internet Good for you aching metalhead jesus that you saw that in person Oh Lick me down We gots to go randy shaber and bread rider. We appreciate all your help You bet. We had a good time. We had I think we had a pretty good. Yes. You guys got anything? Yeah, I think I think we're excited for baseball Baseball we covered the masters like no one no one else would Yes, for sure. Yeah, we we absolutely did. We'll talk you tomorrow Sounds good. All right, and we will be back here in a few minutes with more on the half-assed morning show half-assed morning show 93 acts well hello to all the wonderful podcasters out there wherever in the world you're listening right now We truly appreciate it Dana here. Yeah, I'm a sports junkie I'm a wing lover and of course a smart club member because I trust my home comfort is standard heating the air conditioning And I really think you should too right now it's h-fac mania And these deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted You can score a 45 kuban on a furnace tune up normally 148 bucks And no it's never too late to show your furnace of love And if your system is about to crash out like a five seat against a 12 Now's the time to replace it on your schedule with zero percent financing from standard heating and air conditioning Go to standard heating dot com and mention 93 x standard heating and air conditioning providing the comfort you deserve since 1930 Years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back your shoulders your knees Maybe your joints you need help randy shaver here with the answer dav b yorky He's got over 30 years experience in getting workers compensation benefits for people just like you don't suffer call b yorky law today 763 571 2410 or go to b yorky law dot com. That's b i a lke law dot com and it spells relief for you This is in your average podcast. This pot is about to be crazy. I don't even know what's gonna happen This is full send. It's just like a boy scrap join the party We threw like a spontaneous party out of nowhere as crazy and we pulled off a crazy prank Pranks parties and viral culture at its wildest just seeing like the guys that you brought in and like seeing their different Personalities and stuff. It's been entertaining dude. This could be the greatest content build of all time The full send podcast dude. Let's get ready to rumble. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Let's do it My podcast morning show Minnesota 93x Yes It's monday. It totally sucks But for cripes sake it's our reality and we best just suck it up We dig you for going through the trouble to finding our program this morning and sticking with us for a while Let me read you a statement here cubby That I saw on the damned internet. Oh, how we'd all be better off without that in uh, but anyways, let me uh dump this your way Here's what I said to myself when I read this josh. I said now here's a guy who's looking to cover his own ass Listen to this Just ridiculous. I think you'll get a kick a kick out of it though. Here's the statement I Movies from the 80s 90s and 2000s wow were just better Yeah, again, then what there's a guy who's looking to cover his own ass How gutless of stance is that? All right, I gotta go ahead and say it I know this will piss some of you off But I got the balls to say it unlike the rest of you the movies from the 80s were the best Along with the movies from the 90s And the 2000s it's kind of So go ahead and suck on that all right Is that guy looking to cover his own ass or what? Yeah, it's not really much of a A hill to die on don't bring a movies from the last 16 years that guy'll be pissed But the but the four years before that were wonderful Come on everybody stupid I mean usually I mean don't most people pick the decade they grew up in say movies were better than So unless he's talking to a 10 year old or something your taste in movies suck it 12 year old That guy Right there. I wanted you to be aware of that guy. He's out there. He's gonna tell you that his favorite types of movies And I love that that comes from the unpopular opinion threat. That doesn't deserve that. No, you can't do that stupid I think most people agree on that That's covering a lot of ground. That's casting a wide net there son All right, let me direct something smashley's way here Dudes, huh Right. Yeah, dudes. What's the deal with us dudes? Um I've been trying to figure that out for a while. Have you got us fingered out yet? No dudes just too different All right, if you could come up with one question about take your time by the way If you could come up with one question About how and why we operate What would it be? Oh, that's that's easy. Yeah, because I've been wondering this for a while. Okay. Is it Because I always have like a million things going through my head. I'm always thinking about like what's next I'm thinking about like a day from 10th grade Like it's I constantly have stuff going on and I've heard that dudes just like don't that you're just like, uh What are you thinking about nothing? Well, you have to be thinking about something. No, I'm it's literally just blank I do think we're way more simple Than girls think we are like you might think we're a little more complex But a lot of times it is pretty pretty just like you said, we're not really thinking of anything at all That's crazy to me. And if we are thinking about something actually it's something that is completely Irrelevant to pointless like I'll be dajering me and my wife will be like, what are you thinking about? And I'm thinking about the logistics and mighty ducks too how they rollerbladed for minneapolis to the mall of america to edina Then back to northeast minneapolis Dury one long montage they must have been blading all day. I love that. That's the stuff we're thinking about Interesting question. Are we uh Are we usually just sitting there With an empty head with nothing on our minds Yeah, I think usually we are sometimes we're thinking of stuff But there's certainly times where it's not my wife will say that too. What are you thinking about? You look kind of like you're deep in thought like I have no idea. I was I basically was asleep with my eyes there's a like always like some sort of discourse going on online about How many women don't share the mental load how like a woman is constantly thinking about Everything and a man's really not and it's always chalked up to like oh men just they don't care They need to care more, but I think part of it is that like And I don't mean this in an insulting way, so I hope you guys don't take it that way But like men are kind of just dumb in that way like they don't really think about how Oh, we haven't had milk in the fridge for three days or You're not offending any uh anyone on this panel. I've said it for years. We're just big dumb animals Yeah, we're just we're kind of simple like this is a good way to put it This person says I like to call it operating and neutral. That's pretty much what it is. I'm so jealous How do I get to be like that? Medication maybe maybe more medication my wife talks about this a lot actually where she says she wishes I noticed more things like you said being out of milk. I wouldn't notice she goes I don't want to have to ask you. I just want you to notice that you know Something needs to be done whether it's cleaning or picking up dog poop in the front yard or something like that She wishes I was more observant. Yeah, and I think it's that men just you guys just aren't like wired to think that way All right, my wife got eight inches of her hair cut off once and I didn't notice That's a lot my friggin brother did and it got me in some trouble Oh, he should have checked with you first my what my ex used to get Botox all the time I had I was clueless. I can't tell when somebody gets Botox. No, I was like, oh that costs a thousand dollars I don't notice a difference All right, I know what you're gonna say you're gonna say again with the internet But apparently uh, this is a conversation that's been going on now this more deals with the physical than mental Questions that women's really want to ask men well, we'll handle this We will These are questions that women really want to ask men Why they don't I'm not sure because we'll answer damn near everything and anything you ask us. We're not shy Question number one. How often do you guys accidentally sit on your nads? Yeah, that seems like an issue that that is something I've always wanted like is that bothersome having that there It's worse than more of the big baggy boxers now that I wear like the boxer briefs a little bit tighter It doesn't happen quite as often. Okay gross But to answer the question uh once a month, I think I sit on my nuts. Oh that often, huh? Yeah I'm very careful. It only took a couple times for me to realize I got to be super dainty when I sit down That's such a miserable miserable feeling Not only does it Absolutely, you know, it hurts, but you feel so stupid. I just sat on my nuts. It's so dumb That that's a great point. I think The disappointment in yourself Outweighs the pain and the pain is quite significant. But yes, uh I've said that to myself so many times you stupid idiot. How did you forget about the balls? Yep, and then I sit right on okay We've got a lawsuit waiting to happen in the toilet seat up front Because that thing is barely on there. It slides when you sit on it and that is a nut killer if you're not here If you're ever a guest in this building And you got to make a deuce in our front bathroom be aware that some bitch eats balls All right another question here that women really want to ask men And again a lot of this is physical and um genitalia Genitalic in nature nature is how you say it. I like that genitalic Uh a lady said I just recently learned that nuts kind of move around on their own in the sack Can you feel that is it inconvenient or weird? Wait, what they do? Well, you never felt a nut moving around in the sack like no No, I can't say I have oh or didn't if I did I didn't notice that's I thought they were all kind of hanging out there together I never noticed that Wow Yeah More so I think when you're young. I don't have any Recent stories of testicular movement within the sack But when I was a kid I'd feel them sliding around in there from time to time That's very interesting. Josh. You've never felt a nut move around in the bag ski Nothing they just kind of I don't know maybe they're way too much. You never felt the one climb Nope interested Maybe I need to pay more attention. Uh, here's one as old as time. Um, how do you pee when you have a bone rod? Okay, it seems painful You lay down on the toilet. I had to do that once. Did you yeah, no choice? That actually is part of the question. Uh, ashley. Is it painful? Uh, no, not at all, but it's inconvenient And you have to put yourself In a position That's difficult to explain I imagine it It feels different though. No, and regularly peeing. No, no, no, no What if it's like right after You do the deeds like things are more Well, that's different. It is okay because Uh, you know, sometimes my husband will have to use the bathroom after we're done doing the deed And he usually makes like a noise that doesn't sound very pleasant like ah, ah Oh, maybe he's Fingering himself or something. I have no idea Maybe he has like gonorrhea or something. No, no, no, no, it's not supposed to hurt when you pee There's no pain. But I think he might be making that uh, because it's not like a painful noise. It's like a Ah, that's sensitive noise. I I can't help you with that one. I'm not sure why he's uh, why he's vocalizing During that routine, but um, yes, the post sex trip to the potty is different than your average urination session But when you got a bone on, um, it doesn't feel any different. We just have to you have to alter your Body in a way that it's just uh, it's ridiculous These are questions that women would like to ask men and again go ahead. Um, but I'm just reading this smooth off the internet How does your D Sit in your pants when soft Well, wherever it likes, I guess I'm not sure what they mean by this one I don't know if any of his could help me out, but yeah, it's not like you position it or anything It's just kind of sometimes you have to move it around. Yeah, sure you need to drag it But yeah, usually it just has a mind of its own. Yeah, it's such a pain. It lays down. However, it likes to Yes, like josh said sometimes you have to Move it from side to side or reposition it Because things are sticking or god knows what is going on Do your balls sweat like our boobs do is a question that women would like to know I thought that was a well known thing. Yeah, that's why they have stuff for balls. What correct Yeah, you can build a batch of soup real quickly Oh, I didn't like that. Oh gross Bad day, no, oh that's nasty interesting question here, too. Do you guys actually like it when a girl sits on your lap? Sure the only the only negative in my book is You know, I keep one of those fat wallets and then my keys in the front pocket I my wallet doesn't need to be as fat as it is But I I'm not good at cleaning it out. So there's some discomfort there can hurt Yeah, if a gal sits on your wallet or your keys other than that. Oh, I mean Yeah, there's an entire dance named after it I'm sorry lap dance. Oh lap. Oh, oh I thought you meant sitting on the keys thing. Oh, no, no, no, no But I think this woman is is wondering if it If it hurts our nuts or or pee pee Yeah, I suppose it could if you're not careful if you sit on the nuts. Yeah You're making soup down there, right Dana. Exactly. I would think that most women would know to sit on our Legs not sit directly on our damn unit, right? Don't give us the yokozuno bonzai drop No, thank you Here's one. I want cubby to answer this one. Then we got to take a break. We're we're going through Questions that women have for us doads That I guess they were afraid to ask face to face This one's especially for josh During doggie style sex you've committed yourself to that once or twice, right josh. I have no I do not to answer the question During doggie style sex and I love the way this is put do y'all look at our bum holes. Oh my gosh 100% That's like the whole point It is. Yeah, not for me Yeah, josh is afraid of the bum hole He doesn't like to look at it. He puts a t-shirt or a sock over it, right? I enjoy that I think most guys do Why don't you why are you so afraid of blur function? What what is so scary about it? Oh, I don't know I just died it seems like I the person might not want me to take a look at that Josh closes his eyes and holds his breath He's been married for like a million years. I had to put the hand up. Yeah, he says sometimes he puts the hand up You know, so he does it good angle. Oh and he can travel in basketball back in the day We had those glasses that prevented you from being able to look down Oh, yeah, I dribble without you know looking down at the ball. Josh has got a pair of those Do you need do you need dribbling goggles like Dana's explaining? I didn't even know they made those You just you just I've never met anyone so afraid of the uh, I carry around a black bar like they might have on a television show And I just put up the black bar on the screen You know how iron maiden had a fear of the dark Yeah, that's famously you have a fear of the monkey button. Yeah Yeah Yeah, we are uh preparing to make an organized march to the beautiful exit doors here At uh, what do you call it the radio station? But we got to uh, we got to knock this pig out first We were having a conversation about questions that chicks Uh Would like to ask guys and I guess they don't have the courage to bring it up. Don't be scared Like we established we're just big dumb animals. We'll damn dear answer any question you got I don't think we're too proud for that. Are we Josh? No, not at all We'll let you behind the curtain a little bit a little not we're not gonna let you all the way behind the curtain Because oh you're saying there is brocode. There is brocode and we might get to that before we're done with this conversation Questions that the ladies would like to ask us Some of it is mental A lot of it is physical Well, here's an interesting one that was texted in from a lady Why do some of you guys like to call us baby? Oh, I love that. Well, that's just uh, that's a moniker as old as time Men Referring to their women as baby. I can't say that I've ever called a woman baby Me neither. I guess when you really think about it, it's weird. Just don't think about it too much Like so you you like it you? Yeah. So like if your husband says, you know what you're really being a baby. Oh, no That's not how we used it. No, no, no, he's gonna get stabbed. He says something like that that changes everything Uh, yeah, I don't think I've ever called a woman baby. I've been called baby and can I tell you something right now? I liked it a lot I mean babe. I've used babe. I've heard you call your wife babe. Yeah, that's her name Her name is babe. It's babe. Yeah, um Babe winkelman is her full name. Wow If a woman is ever going to call me baby, you guys know this we covered this there has to be an upwards inflection Yeah, I have an example out right here Amy like that, right? Don't just say baby It has to be Baby That makes me crazy right there. It's so perfect. Kim Kardashian there. Yeah, that became very popular after she did that porno movie with Culeo or whoever the hell it was. Yeah, yeah, you got it Oh, uh, before we get to the rest of this internet report this in-depth internet report on uh The questions that women would like to ask man, let's go back to one that we covered and this one's like I said, this is This is an old one. It's been discussed for millions of times I'm surprised that any women still have a question about this It's about uh, josh when we have to take a squeege And at the same time we got a bone rod Um, does it hurt? Does it feel different again? I'm surprised any women don't already know this because it's just covered everywhere It's a common I told ashley To describe the position we have to put ourselves in that's that's difficult to describe but a listener texted in and this is perfect In case you're interested ashley Yeah, it's the same position that anyone has to put themselves in when they go to the top of a very tall building And then lean forward and put their head on the glass in order to look down Oh Yeah, yep. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, sometimes you might be forced just to sit Although I have to warn you there is a bit of a gap between the rim of the toilet and the seat which can You can spray right through that day. I would think that sitting you've actually done that sat down and went potty with a bone Yeah, where I just the angle from the leaning over the side of the building angle wasn't working for me My god, I would think there's no I'd have to shove it down into the yeah, you have to push it down. Oh my All right. Here are some of those. I'll show you You will yeah by the end of the show here are some of those questions from women Oh Is it fun to aim your pee? Yeah, absolutely I kind of feel bad for girls. They can't do that. Well all girls can't do that But I feel bad that you can't do that although you have the what's that called ashley that that uh like for when you go out hunting Oh shoot. I'm completely flanking. Oh, I know what you're talking about a little silicone girl. Yeah, there you go girl. Yeah Yeah, those don't work well. Oh, they don't I mean I they work well if you're not Like if you don't have like a wicked pee on deck, so it's like a funnel. Yeah, it fills up very fast So you have to be careful All right. Yeah, the go girl. I remember that trend there for a while. Is it fun to aim your pee? Absolutely. Yeah, like, you know, writing your name in the snow writes a passage. Yeah, that looks fun Does ball size matter to a guy in terms of his confidence Well, I would think if they're Way oversized or undersized I might think about it, but in general I never think about no Never once thought about it It's never uh been a problem. It says here a lady says I understand that rod size matters But does ball size what if he has a huge Rodney and tiny little seeds. What if he has a micro Shmuck and big friggin grapefruits. Maybe I've only ever seen like normal sized Balls because I think that like yeah, I've never been like whoa. Those are big Yeah Or small right never really thought one way or the other have you know Like josh said and like the article said if there's a huge disparity between the frank and the beans then it would probably enter our minds but Do you think about our boobs while hugging us? Yeah, sometimes. Yeah, uh, if you feel them. Yeah Try not to do you ever you try not to think about the boobs try to be polite I'm sure sometimes if they're pressed up against you you think about it. You can't help it Do you ever worry about what your friends think of your girlfriend or wife's looks? No, do you ever worry that your friends won't think she's attractive enough or would think less of you because you're dating her When we were younger, yeah It's not something that would trouble me for too long But I remember when I was a young kid like a junior high kid if I took an interest in a girl I would wonder if my friends would be accepting of her. I think that's normal. Yeah, but that's when you're a kid as an adult No, no, bev cart girl. She's a said you can use a paper plate instead of a go girl works great on a boat. She said Oh Never knew that. Thank you. You mean you use a paper plate. Yeah, you like make a funnel out of it Oh, I like kind of like uh, what is that? What am I doing with my hands? You're cupping your hands. Uh, like uh, a funnel is the right way. Yeah, like a half funnel I was picturing just putting a paper plate on the ground and peeing upon it like a cow on a flat rock Yeah, you could also do that. How the hell does that help anybody? Uh, oh, this this stupid question no offense ladies, but you know, how come sometimes you uh, You donkeys can only go one round, but then other nights you can go five or six I've never played that game. So someone else can answer that. I'm a one and done guy always have There's been times in my life when I was young where I did do it multiple times in a night and I regret it every second of it It's the stupidest routine in the history of sex having to go more than once Why I don't know you guys can help I guess I can't Yeah, I can't explain why as a young man's game at this point I mean, I think maybe if the first one goes pretty quick, he might be able to get going a couple other times But it's definitely a young man's game. You know how we uh, said that we'll let him behind the curtain But not all the way cubby. Yep. You know how I mentioned brocode. Yep. Here's the next question from a lady for dudes It says do most guys try at some point to see if they could suck that look we don't talk about that Not most guys We're not letting you all the way behind the curtain. We don't talk about that I saw somebody comment on that question and said he had a friend who did it And the friend just said it wasn't like somebody else. It was like me doing it wasn't as great as As he thought it was gonna be Do you guys hear about Marilyn Manson what he did I have yeah heard that one before The last question is the last question from the ladies to the dudes is do most men enjoy having their nads played with Not really. No, no, it's it's a touchy situation. Gotta be delicate depends who you are, I think I'm with you though. It's it's a it's delicate down there Dana. Yeah Definitely have you ever had to look down and say whoa, whoa, whoa take it easy. Oh, yeah, absolutely. That's so funny Yeah, I would be mortified if somebody was like, hey, what are you doing? They're like, oh my gosh, you might have to say that to a person before maybe I have had to yeah Take it easy down there. Yeah, what are you doing? They're fragile. Are you stressed? That's not a Chill out All right, let's get the hell out of here Happy birthday to super fat 7xl Jesus and once again, happy birthday to our co-worker and pal Christina at best morning show 90 X Well, hello to all the wonderful podcasters out there wherever in the world you're listening right now We truly appreciate it Dana here. 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