My roommate wanted me OUT... so he can take his sister’s kids from foster care! -r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP2579

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My roommate wanted me out so he can take his sister's kids from foster care. Honestly, that sounds incredibly reasonable. My roommate and I rent a pretty nice two-bedroom apartment together. We pay practically nothing in rent because we have a deal to keep, an eye on things, and take care of the facilities. It's a great deal because it doesn't take more than a few hours a week, and we take turns. By the way, this comes from PaintStunning7529, And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I am Savannah. I'm Dakota. And we are here to give good advice goofily, but obviously we do not have all the answers. But we would love to know what you would do in the comments below. As OP says, my roommate's sister lost custody of her kids, two girls and one boy and may be facing prison time. My roommate wants to get them out of the foster system since they were placed in separate homes. Oh, yeah. He is their only other family since their dads aren't in the picture. So there's no one else who can take them in. The social worker gave him some requirements and has issues with me because I am an unrelated adult male and because I have a record of substance abuse. Also, because of the ages of the kids. My roommate needs to have at least two bedrooms. He cannot afford a two-bedroom place except this one because of the great deal we get. This is why he wants me to move out. He says the fact is he needs the apartment more than I do. I understand he is in a difficult position, but rent is insanely expensive around here. If I moved out, renting even a single bedroom elsewhere would be way more expensive than renting this apartment by myself. I would like to keep living here so I can save money and hopefully one day buy a place of my own. That goal is unlikely to happen if I have to pay market rate rent. I was also living here first so I don't feel it's fair that I should be the one to move. Am I the a-hole? That does add a bit of a wrinkle into the situation. Yeah. Like they... I just think regardless of who was there first or like, you know, who pays what like, I just, I think like just asking someone to move out of the house because the other person just needs it is like inconsiderate. But I also understand in the situation of like getting the kids out of like the system because you know obviously you don't want to keep them in the system because that's just scary and hard but you are it is a little bit like selfish a-holy because guess what you can maybe it maybe a studio not even a one bedroom maybe you maybe you find another place with more than just one roommate i don't know what to tell you but also you were here first but are you going to use that when it's like i was here first so the same problems that i am saying are the reasons why i can't leave even though they also apply to you and now two children that you have to deal with that now yeah so it's like i don't know it's just the situation just sucks um here are some comments isn't your great deal for rent has a taking care of things condition i assume having three kids at home may be a deal breaker for the landlord anyway regardless if he can't afford to take the kids in he shouldn't i'll be honest this is a heartbreaking situation and not leaving the house will make you feel like an a-hole but you are entitled to be an a-hole given the circumstances opie responds i don't know about the landlord but the taking care of things doesn't really take that much time at all um another comment says depending on the ages of the kids since they are different they may be required to have separate rooms so your roommate would actually need a three-bedroom place that was the concern when we were contemplating getting some nibblings place with us opie responds their social worker just said at least two bedrooms another response your roommate may also be eligible for a stipend if he provides foster care for the kids that stipend can go towards paying for a suitable place op says no he's family so he doesn't another comment says is social services going to be paying him like a regular foster family if so he can't afford a new place op says no i guess relatives don't get money but he's going to apply for snap another uh comment says where was mom living with these kids he could move there with them instead question mark not sure what her living situation was before her loss of custody but the kids were somewhere not the a-hole hoping for the best for your friend and his kiddos though op responds not an option um another comment says your roommate needs to talk to a social worker to get set up for housing food stamps medicaid daycare and whatever he needs to do to take care to care for these children are the grandparents around can they assist in some way it seems like there should be other family members who can help out with the situation opie responds as i said my roommate is their only family and there is an update this is a pretty short update i got the suggestion a few times that i should talk to my landlord about the situation since he may not be okay with the idea while he was okay with the idea of kids he already has a lot of tenants with kids he was not okay with continuing the same arrangement with my roommate without me there. So there's really no point in me moving out since my roommate would have to pay market rate rent for the place which he can't afford. As of right now, my roommate's plans are to continue living here while he figures out some other arrangement. Once he does, he's going to move out and I'm going to get a new roommate here. Okay. Update number two. Well, I guess that kind of takes care of itself then. Yeah. So he's just going to get a new place. He's just got to knuckle down and figure it out. Update two. I said in my last update that my roommate was going to continue to live here until he figured out some other arrangement that would work out for the four of them. I had passed on some of the helpful suggestions and sources people messaged me about. Upon further research, though, he realized it was still going to take time and it would be faster for him to save up money for a deposit and first slash last month's rent on a new place and then get assistance once the kids were moved in. Honestly, I don't really get how it works. For those wondering why he doesn't have money saved up from living here, it's because he's been using the money to pay off his student loans. So plan was for him to hopefully have enough in four to five months. my roommate started to become more and more hostile though first just passive aggressive but it led to a big blowout nothing physical just yelling he was really mad because he thought since i have such a good relationship with our landlord that i should have tried to convince him that he could handle the maintenance on his own that's the case where it's like i feel like and i feel like it could be and op might have just spun it where it's like oh yeah well if i'm not gonna be here because the landlord likes me so much he won't give him the deal it'd be like no if i'm not here the landlord thinks that the maintenance can't be done so he wouldn't do the deal i would be upset be like dude you didn't even go to up to bat you didn't go up to bat for me at all like at all that's true he could have definitely like said you know like that i think that i would put in the category of an a-hole move um yeah because it seemed like it was almost like a well I see now he knows and there's nothing I can do so whatever and it's like dude you could have tried to convince him at all but I bet you you got the answer you kind of wanted to get and then you were like yes okay thank you yeah he was kind of like telling it like not yeah and like his own words dude I don't know just have a heart brother I don't know what to tell you man I would be wanting to help this if this is a roommate and a friend of mine and they're trying to do this I would want to try to help them to make that happen. Yeah. I would. Honestly, he probably could. I know I can handle it on my own. I almost considered it too because I didn't think I wanted to continue to live with him. After talking to my landlord about the situation again, we came to a new agreement. My landlord is going to be ending our lease. He gave us both official notice. I'm going to continue living here, but moving into another unit. It's a smaller one bedroom and a bit smaller, but on the bright side, it was recently renovated, so it's nicer. I'm going to have to do the maintenance on my own from now on, but it's still a really great deal and worth it to not have to deal with roommate issues anymore. It feels like there was a way to figure this out with both of you still in this building and maybe the rent being reduced on both of these apartments. Maybe not to the same level that it was, but to a level that is still beneficial to both of you. And it feels like you just fully didn't even try to make that happen and just did it for yourself. yeah and that's kind of whack that's the part that's kind of throwing me off because now he's saying like oh i moved into like you know like another place but still in the same like i moved into the same building but different like room and like i'm still getting the deal that i want so like but like the other guy's not gonna get the deal because he's not doing the maintenance yeah I don't know, man. It just, were you, how tight were you with this roommate? It really is reading like this was a stranger. But at the beginning of this, I don't know. I just assumed you guys were close. Yeah. Maybe if you're not super close, I mean, I guess I can see doing this. But like, yeah, it's, I don't know, man. Everything just kind of sucks about this situation. Yeah. It's like there's not really like a good answer because like all of them kind of stink. It's putting everyone in like a bad situation. Like someone has to get a short end of the stick. Yeah. And it's not really fair to anybody. Thankfully, I will be able to move into the new unit in just a few days because my old roommate was super pissed after he got the notice. he used more than a few expletives when talking to me and says ruined everything because now he won't be able to save money since he's going to have to start paying rent somewhere to be honest with how he's been i've sort of lost sympathy for him i do still feel bad for his sister's kids though comment number one i think op was absolutely right to make the decisions he did but i'm still not unsympathetic to the situation his roommate found himself in uh there is a reply the roommate should be working with the social worker to see what benefits he can obtain it sounds like he's been tricked into an informal kinship care setup which would remove the foster stipend comment number two who would have thought without context that the landlord ending the least was a win-win for op i still do empathize for the roommate though comment number three i was feeling bad for the roommate until we learned they got a good deal for rent because of op roommate wants to keep the deal op made and evicted op from the apartment i get it was a decision in a rush but dude and then when it rightfully didn't happen but op still gave him plenty of resources to go for roommate decided that being a little crap was his option the situation is crappy we get it particularly for the poor kids. But it's not a reason to be an absolute dip crap to the person that helped you get a deal that saved you money. By acting like that, roommate just created another problem for himself. He could have stayed neutral and keep living in a cheap rent apartment until he had enough money. But no, he decided to be so unbearable that OP wanted to leave, which I think was his plans all along, but it didn't turn out how he expected it. All in all, the only person I feel bad for are the kids. Foster care doesn't seem like a pleasant walk, but I hope they have the chance to find people that care for them. And that's the end. My roommate stole money from me to buy junk food, so I took revenge. I don't know. I love junk food. I, 27 female, live in a house with two other girls around my age. I get along with one of them fine, but the other one, Amanda, is a nightmare. She's super morbidly obese, which I feel sorry for her for, but she uses her disability to manipulate everyone around her. By the way, this comes from user Draped in Pearls. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Dakota. And I'm Savannah. And we're here to give you good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We just know what we do, so tell us what you do in the comments, as OP says. She's on social security because she obviously can't work at her size. She does very few chores around the house because moving around is exhausting. She doesn't bathe regularly for the same reason. She often takes me and our other roommates' food and eats it, claiming she'll pay us back or buy us a replacement when she has her weekly groceries delivered, and she never does. Our lease is up at the end of August, and I did not renew, mostly because of Amanda's behavior. She was upset when I told them this at the start of summer because until they get a new roommate, that means the remaining girls have to cover my share. My one roommate understands, but Amanda is furious. She says I'm abandoning her, and I should have to pay my share until a new girl moves in, even though my lease is up. I told her that's not happening. Ever since then, her bad behavior has ramped up. She takes even more of my food. She makes passive-aggressive comments constantly, but worst of all, she stole money from me the other day. There is a specialty candy shop not far from where we live that has imported and nostalgic candies along with homemade pies and other stuff. It's a cool place. Apparently Amanda went there last night and came home with a ton of junk food. She left a majority of it in the kitchen and said, it's for everyone, help yourself. But it's pretty clear it's for her. When I asked how she was able to afford all that, since I know she struggles with money, she said flat out, I borrowed some of the cash you had in your room. I went to check and she had taken a hundred dollars of my money to spend on junk food okay that like i i could see maybe like five ten bucks maybe a 20 now this is an intervention level moment you took a hundred dollars from me to buy junk food yeah which means you like went through my stuff yeah like went in my room moved my stuff around found some money and was like i'm gonna go spend this on something that i want and then come back and say this is for everyone like yeah no it's it's it's it's just a rash it's a logical irrational behavior i was super pissed off and unloaded on her calling her a thief and an a-hole and a bad roommate she started to cry and said she bought it for everyone as a gift for the household and if i'm that upset she will pay me back but of course she won't because she never has she's terrible with money and almost always broke the week after she gets her ssi so here's where i might be the a-hole she's leaving for the weekend to visit her parents. I want to take all the treats she left behind and donate them to a food shelf except two things. I want to eat a slice of the homemade pie she bought still untouched as of now and text her how good it is because as much as she pretends the food is communal she gets upset when one of us eats food she bought. So I want to eat a piece of her pie and then dump Dawn dish soap over the rest and put it back in the fridge. When she goes to eat it it will be ruined and the dish soap won't hurt her. Then I plan to take the homemade jam she bought and dump them into her bedsheets and let them sit until she gets home. By then, I'll have packed my important stuff and be gone. I'm moving back in with my parents. I'm over this. So would I be the a-hole for donating food she bought with my stolen money, eating her pie because I know it would bug her, ruin the rest, and mess up her bedsheets? The last thing I'm not positive I'll actually do, but the other things I definitely will. Comment 1. It's your money, your food. do what you want with it but you should dang well file a theft report too but refrain from damaging her stuff as that could cause issues that aren't worth dealing with her over op replies yeah you're probably right how do you feel about me taking a bite of every single candy bar and treat she bought and then putting them back half unwrapped and full of bite marks lol i still don't feel great about that just feels like what are we accomplishing like we know we know this person's behavior was bad so are we just gonna also have bad behavior in response like an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind You know what I saying Yeah like it seems like you just want to get like a rise out of her to just be like you stole my money and now I'm going to do something terrible to you. But like, I don't know, getting even with someone isn't always the right choice. And it usually isn't. A reply says, also, do not put dish soap or any other foreign substance in the food. You could get arrested for that. It's not worth it. comment 2 says just donate what you don't eat op says the point is i want to piss her off while the humanitarian thing to do would be to donate these treats the petty part of me wants her to come home see all the remaining treats inedible and freak out and there is an update amanda already left this morning i have decided not to mess up her bed sheets if she has a heart attack changing the bedding i'd feel awful i'm just going to take bites of every single treat she left behind and leave the opened half-eaten treats in her bedroom. I have decided not to destroy her sheets or put soap on the pie. Many of you pointed out that can make someone very sick. As mad as I am, I don't want to hurt her. What I am going to do is eat that pie from the inside out. I'll leave the ring of crust in the tin and put it back in the fridge. Then I'll take all the candy she left behind and bring it into my work on Monday. Whatever's left over after work, I'll donate. I'm not going to call the cops for three reasons. One, my city is currently experiencing a vandalism epidemic, so those resources would be better used working on that. Two, I am highly mistrustful of the police and would only call them in an emergency. This is not an emergency. And three, in the grander scheme of things, $100 doesn't matter that much. It was birthday money from my family, not something I worked for myself. I also don't want to post about this on social media as she is very good at playing victim and i don't want it to turn into a case of me bullying the fat lady thanks everyone for the comments god i mean it's just get out of there and be done with it like stop trying to like get even like it's just there's no no point and it's just you're not like i don't that wouldn't make me feel good i don't know i mean you're just you're you're this kind of stuff is like you drink poison and then you expect it to like hurt the other person you're just poisoning yourself. Yeah, it's like she's already miserable if you haven't caught on. So you don't really need to go out of your way to make her even more miserable because she is. Yeah, exactly. There's a third update. I spent the entire weekend moving my stuff out of our apartment and back into my parents place. So I am no longer Amanda's roommate. To answer some of the most frequently asked questions, I did not destroy her bedsheets. I spent the weekend slowly eating the pie in shifts. I left the crusts in the refrigerator. I took the rest of the candy and snacks when I left and brought it into work today. Whatever is left over at the end of the day, I'll donate. I did not file a police report. Not only am I mistrustful of police in general, but I feel like Amanda has enough problems in her life without a criminal record. Plus, now that I'm gone, she can't steal from me again. Our other roommate, who was home a lot this weekend and witnessed this whole mess has gotten a lock for her bedroom door. Last night around 6pm I got the phone call I had been expecting. It was Amanda asking if I was gone for good since my room was empty and the Nespresso machine, which is mine, was gone. I said I was and it was in large part because of her taking my money and using it to buy candy. She panicked when I told her I took the rest of it with me, like a legit hyperventilating breakdown. I wasn't expecting that. I was expecting anger. She cried on the phone saying she was looking forward to coming home to eat certain things. And since the store she has got them from is closed until Monday, her entire day was ruined. She was legit crying into the phone like she was dealing with someone's passing, not missing snacks. I knew she had an issue with overeating, but I was unaware she was this emotional about food yeah because it's like you know a very nuanced intricate mental health disorder you know that leads somebody to live that lifestyle and it is not a normal response and it should make your eyebrows raise i guess um but but yeah again you didn't really have to go super hard because she's already miserable her snacks are missing and it ruins her whole day it's someone who needs help yeah that's that's that's it's sad it is it more than anything it It is a little sad. I'm glad you're out. Yeah. That's what you can control. More than anything, it sucks to live with a thief. Yeah. Have you ever lived with a thief? Well, maybe you did and they were so good you don't know. I know my cousin is a thief. She stole from my mom, but my mom called her out. There you go. That's what you gotta do. But then she did it again. My mom's like... You gotta call out the thievery. Anyways, OP says, I kept calm and I told her that the candy wasn't hers anyway. It was mine. and that she's lucky that I just took it with me. I could have filed a police report for her being a thief. I told her my portion of August rent was given directly to the landlord when I had him come in yesterday morning to inspect my room, so if she messes things up, he will know it wasn't me. She didn't care about any of that. She didn't care that I'm gone or that I could have involved the police. She just kept asking if I had left any of the snacks behind. What about the Mary Janes? Or did you leave even a few of the mini mallow cups? When I told her I took everything, she started to bawl even harder. At that point, I just hung up. I'm over it, and it's done. I haven't heard from her since, but our other roommates texted me later that night to tell me that she cried again when she found the pie crust in the fridge. And that is the end of that story. My roommate is obsessed with cleanliness, and it's a nightmare for me. Why? Is that because you're a stinky little pig pen person? Little pit person? Over the past few months, I've been living on campus in a four-bedroom apartment. We are all girls and all around 19 years old. By the way, this comes from CalligrapherNovel486. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash ok story time subreddit. I am Savannah. I am Dakota. And we are here to give some good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. where he would just tell you what we would do in this situation, but we would love to know what you would do in this situation. Comment down below. As OP says, During this time, my roommate claimed that I brought a mildew smell into our room. She even asked if I shower. Apparently the smell wasn't there while she stayed in our dorm for two weeks during summer. This was very awkward. This happened on the first day of moving in. By the way, so she did not make a good first impression. I even panicked thinking I had made her uncomfortable. I washed everything I had and immediately took a shower, but she still claimed the smell remained. I asked suite mates if they smelled anything and they said they didn't. Because of this mildew smell, she sprays our room with air freshener every day and night. I also had a multitude of problems with her, which led me to contact the people in charge of housing multiple times. The problems included her keeping her lights on constantly, even at night. She has three lights, one desk lamp, which is the brightest, another lamp near her bed, and a decently sized neon sign hanging over her bed. She usually keeps the lamp near her bed and the neon sign on. She sometimes keeps them on all night, even after I asked if she could turn them off. One day I was tired and her lights were too bright for me, so I turned them off. The next day she said that if I touched her stuff again, she would report me to housing. During Labor Day weekend, I got sick. When I told my roommate, the first thing she said wasn't, I hope you feel better, but turn your face to the wall so you don't cough in my direction. She only said she hoped I got better after saying all that. That night, I kept coughing. She kept complaining to the point where she told me to sleep on the couch, which I did because I felt bad for interrupting her sleep. After I got better, apparently I started snoring in my sleep because my roommate asked me to sleep on the couch again. I got tired of her complaining and also because I felt bad I slept on the couch for a few days one time I left my shoes on her rug which she said was disgusting I apologized and put my shoes back on my side one day I accidentally hung my loofah onto her shower hooks and I found it in the trash the next day all of this led me to ask our RA to set up a mediation meeting the thing was that my roommate plays volleyball so she is almost never here sometimes but when we finally caught her just as she was about to leave we did our first mediation meeting apparently she only threw my loofah away because she thought it was hers all she said about my loofah was oh my bad she also claimed that she didn't know we had any issues because i never said anything she lied and said she never told me to sleep on the couch she she said she would try to keep her lights off at night but that promise lasted only about four days. Sometimes they were on, sometimes they were off. She said the reason she said those words to me when I was sick was that she plays volleyball and didn't want to get her team sick. I get that, but it was still pretty rude. After this, she started locking the door at night. It was kind of annoying having to get my key all the time to unlock it, but I wasn't too mad. Literally a week after the mediation, my roommate went on a volleyball trip. One night, I started feeling a sudden knee pain, which led me to sit on her ottoman. I sat there for only a few seconds waiting for the pain to fade. When she suddenly came into the room, she immediately started yelling at me, asking why I couldn't sit anywhere else. I couldn't sit on my bed because it was too tall for me and I would usually have to jump or hook my leg onto it, which was hard to do even if my knees were in an excruciating pain. I apologized multiple times and explained my side, but she wasn't having it. Dude, I wouldn't even apologize. I'd be like, it's a freaking ottoman, dude. I'm sitting on it. Yeah. My knees. Yeah. Get over yourself. This is not it's not made out of gilded. Like, come on. Come on. I decided to leave for a bit until she calmed down. My suite mates heard the commotion and recorded my roommate yelling on the recording. She said that what I did was cross contamination. She even threatened to call campus police and housing on me. We alerted the RAs and they found her lit candle, which she wasn't supposed to have and confiscated it. after this incident I started sleeping in my suite mate's room underneath their blanket forts during this time our RA was doing check-ins and confiscated another lit candle from the room pretty sure she thinks I had something to do with it because she kept asking if everyone's dorms were being checked this happened from August to September I started sleeping in their room for most of October because I didn't feel comfortable sleeping in the same room as her when I did see her outside their room she never really talked to me or apologized for the freak out so I avoided her unless I needed something from my room this only changed a week ago I started sleeping in my room again on Monday to test if I felt comfortable while she was awake she kept both of her lights on all night around 11 30 p.m. she started watching YouTube at a loud volume so I could hear it I asked if she could use headphones or earbuds she said her airpods were in her bag but instead of getting them she just turned the volume down she was also constantly spraying Lysol I have severe asthma so I was coughing more than usual because of this I literally tasted it in the air and she was only spraying her side I went into the bathroom for about 10 minutes to recover when I returned she had her air pods in we finally got a meeting with the head of housing on Tuesday where my roommate explained her side she admitted that when I sat on her ottoman she overreacted but said it was due to my repeated behavior of touching her things. During September, our entire apartment area experienced a power outage, turning off everything, including her air purifier. When she returned from volleyball, she asked about the purifier and I explained it must have been off due to the blackout. At the meeting, she revealed she didn't believe me back then, even though she could have asked our suitemates. She also claims that after her freakout, she realized she never saw me sleep in the room. She allegedly contacted our RA and head of housing about it, but neither mentioned that to me. She claims she also has asthma, which I don't get because she used candles and sprayed large amounts of air freshener daily. But people can have different severities. She said she didn't know there was a problem because I didn't say anything. I admit I didn't tell her about some issues mainly because she yelled instead of listening. Yeah, she's like, I don't understand why she didn't tell me any of this stuff. It's like, it's not like every single time we interact, I just scream at her. Because I sat on your ottoman and you ate me out. That was probably the wrong. That might have been the wrong turn of phrase there. Because I sat on your ottoman and you bit off my head. There we go. She had things to say too, so she could have easily addressed them. She said the lights were always on because she was used to that with her previous roommate. She locked the door at night because that's what she was used to. What do we got? Yeah, I think you can just work it out to where you don't have to live with this person anymore. I think that's the whole point of like RAs and like the housing authority for campuses and stuff. Like, I think that's where you should take this. I wouldn't want to live with this person. She sounds insufferable. Yeah, it sounds like she needs to live alone because she doesn't want any roommates. She doesn't want to have to deal with anyone else. So she should just live alone. That seems like the obvious thing to do here. Anyways. She basically said she is a germaphobe and reacts harshly when anyone she isn't close with touches her things. Because the people that you are close to don't have germs? Yeah. I don't know. Let me retranslate that. I don't talk to people I respect this way. I only talk to people I don't respect the way I've been talking to you. There you go. She sprays Lysol because she is sensitive to smells and still smelled the mildew. The head of housing suggested a maintenance request and granted me permission to turn off her lights if she is out late, with her permission. She said she wouldn't stop using Lysol, but would spray less. Alternatives suggested include wax melts, which are allowed. The head of housing asked if I felt comfortable sleeping in the room again, and I said maybe. I'll try, but I honestly don't feel comfortable after everything. My suitemates feel the atmosphere is less tense, but they think some of her explanations were total BS. I still don't want to sleep in a room with someone who clearly doesn't like me on rare occasions when I see her on campus she avoids me. This all happened long before the first mediation. I don't want to leave because my mom knows where my dorm is. She even popped in unannounced once. I haven't told her any of this. If she finds out she will make the situation about her and make it worse. There are some comments. Would you be able to move out or get a new space to stay in? This seems detrimental to both your mental and physical well-being. I wouldn't have survived this OP response. I might be able to move, but the moving process to a different dorm would take a while, especially when every RA I've talked to said the dorms were jam-packed. And even if I did move, it would be kind of redundant because we only have a few weeks left of college this semester. After the first mediation, my roommate was given the option to leave because the mediation didn't work. She was approved to move to a different apartment. They even gave her the key to it. But for some reason, she didn't want to move, even though she clearly has issues with us not liking her. Yeah, she didn't want to move because then she loses. Yeah, honestly. She might be a little competitive if she plays volleyball. I just, I don't know. Why would you want to stay in a room where you just complain and don't have a good time and, you know, don't like the people you live with? If they're offering you a solution, it's like, nah, I'd rather just complain. That would be quite lame. Because she never moved out, the moving process was automatically canceled. For the process to be approved again, we would have to go through another mediation to get approval. Anyways, my roommate said there's a 50-50 chance she would be moving out next semester to share a dorm with her volleyball team, so I hope that actually happens. And that's the end. Hey, it's Carly, your favorite axolotl host here. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. Almost 30 years together, four kids, and some of reality TV's most unforgettable moments, we know a thing or two about living life out loud. We're taking you behind the scenes in our new podcast, Between Us, with me, Heather Dubrow. And me, Terry Dubrow. Between Us isn't about perfect lighting or curated Instagram grids. It's the unfiltered, behind-closed-doors conversations you wish you could eavesdrop on. Equal parts smart, funny, and a little bit scandalous. Every week, Heather will bring you an unapologetic take on the headlines, the trends, and the cultural moments everyone's texting about. And Terry will deliver insider beauty, health, and wellness insights you won't find on TikTok. Together, we'll tell the stories, spill the secrets, and share the hacks that keep life, marriage, and everything in between feeling fresh and fun. We may live in a gated community, but there's zero gatekeeping here. And plenty of, did they just say that moments? Listen to Between Us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. bodies don't follow neat rules and why modern life makes rest so hard to come by. The second half of our series takes us to the digestive system with a multi-part series on what happens after we eat. Okay. I just have to say that all of my favorite words apparently are digestive words. Sphincter, peristalsis, duodenum. It's fascinating. It's funny and it matters so much more than you think. Episodes of our new series run from January 20th through February 17th with new episodes every Tuesday on the Exactly Right Network. Listen to This Podcast Will Kill You as part of the Exactly Right Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Danielle Robay, host of Bookmarked, the podcast by Reese's Book Club. And this week on Bookmarked, we're basically hosting the ultimate girls night. Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Garner Judy Greer Rita Wilson and Gauri Rice and author Laura Dave These are the women behind season two of the Apple TV series The Last Thing He Told Me We talking about turning a book into a hit show and what it really takes to bring a story to life. The most important metric for me is do I want to share this book with somebody? That's what creates community. And that's the main thesis of our book club and why we started it was just to connect people together. Listen to the bookmarked by Reese's Book Club podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. My assistant lied about me, so I refused to let her have her vacation. What? You can't take that away. The title sounds rough, but hear me out on this. I, 31 female, have been managing a small Starbucks kiosk in my store for a little over a year now. And in that time, I have faced nothing but struggles, mainly with my assistant. We'll call her Betty. By the way, this comes from Honest F*** 5400. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Carly. And I'm Savannah. And we're here to give you good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We only know what we would do. So let us know what you would do in the comments. N.O.P. says, when Betty was first hired, she made a deal with the old manager that she absolutely needed Thursdays and Fridays off, but never gave a legitimate reason for needing those days in her interview. At the time, I was the bookkeeper, so I heard her entire interview since the bookkeeping office and store office are side by side. Our old manager granted that to her, but it never became a written agreement. That was over two years ago. Betty calls out sick twice a month after her weekend, claiming that she has the flu or food poisoning, but comes back the next day as if nothing happened. And she takes four 10-day vacations a year. Is that stressful on me? Yes, but I've always managed to get through it. However, when I am sick, which is rare because I have to feel like I'm passing away to call out, she refuses to cover me or anyone else, even though I have covered for her countless times by working doubles when she calls out. Betty is always ready to leave the minute her shift ends, whether someone is here or not for coverage, leaving me high and dry. I normally do not care about someone taking vacation since this is part of our compensation. I put my vacations in as soon as my vacation renews so there's no need to fight over it. One of my vacations includes my one-year anniversary with my boyfriend right after New Year's. Two days ago, Betty came up to me and said that she talked to our ASM about getting January 2nd through the 10th off for a wedding she has been discussing endlessly. I get her excitement, but I told her, unfortunately, that's not going to work because I have January 2nd to the 6th off. January 2nd is my one-year anniversary with my boyfriend and I won't be in this part of the state. One of us has to be here. Betty looked shocked and said, well, can you change the time you go out of town? We already put the deposit in on the venue. I told her, this is why I have the planner for us to put our vacations in so we know when either of us is gone and avoid overlapping issues. I've had this time off approved since the end of July And I'm not willing to change it or give up my planned vacation time that works for my boyfriend and me before he begins his next quarter of school. I could tell Betty was furious and all I got was, we'll see about that. Today, Betty went up to management and lied, saying that I agreed to change my vacation in January so she could get married. She could get married? I thought it was her friend's wedding. Yeah, wait, I'm very confused. I'm not going to lie, at the beginning of this, I was very much like... Like when she sounds like she just is working at a job that she doesn't really like and she does her bare minimum. And you can't really be mad at someone for doing the bare minimum on something. Like as long as was she not being the most considerate? Yes. But like I thought the same thing. I was like, it's just someone who like just works because they have to. And as long as she's doing her job when she's there and like supposed to be there. Sure. Now this is like, girl, come on, buddy. What are we doing? Yeah, and also the fact that like she lies and it's like, oh, she said that she would change it for me. For my wedding when it was like a friend's wedding before. I'm confused. I am very confused on whose wedding it is. Management came up to me on the sales floor in front of her and said it was generous of me to change my vacation for her life plans. I was furious. I turned to Betty and said, what on God's green earth made you think it was a good idea to lie to management? I have never stopped you from taking a vacation in the past, nor did anyone else here, but I told you I am unwilling to change my anniversary trip to another weekend so you can get married. I'm sorry you'll be losing money, but you have to pick a different day. This is where I told the management and told them, if you still approve this, not only will I go to corporate and the union to complain, but you'll be looking for a new manager for this department. I will not be treated this way for one person to get whatever she wants. Betty was infuriated with my response to the point where I saw her starting to cry, saying she needed a minute. A slight part of me feels bad for blowing up, but in this situation, she only did it to herself. Am I the a-hole? No. Yeah. Betty needed to put her time in. As long as this planner thing that you were mentioning was the legit way to get, like, because she was like, I went out and bought a planner. As long as that's like the legit approved way for putting in time off and she had access to that and she had the time off she should have put in for it it's also not right of betty to you know come in and lie and be like oh they uh said that that i could change it and take their days like i'm glad they checked with you so that didn't happen to you like yeah your op's vacation get taken away yeah because that would have been in fury and i would have been like um excuse me i'm just more so like we really have no one else that can cover just two people taking time off yeah at like all my friends that have ever worked at starbucks have so many backup people maybe this is just tiny they said it is like a kiosk but like relevant comments commenter one not the ale she doesn't get to lie to management to get her way you claimed the days first be aware she's likely going to try to sabotage you and your manager need to plan to go if she quits right before or just doesn't show up and if that happens it is still not on you to stay back and cover the shift. Your time is still approved. If she quits beforehand, you still get your time off. That's on the company at that point. Yeah. That would be effed up if the company tried to do that to you. If you're caught unaware, it's 100% on you guys. What country are you in that she gets this much PTO? Four 10-day vacations? I have zero problem with her getting Thursdays and Fridays off, like it or not. That was agreed to when she was hired. I also have no problem with her not picking up extra shifts. That is not required. She doesn't have to be a team player. This is not a family. It's a job. Calling in sick on a predictable basis is a problem and should be heavily documented. Explain the issues to your direct manager and to HR. Ask them how you can handle it because it's not all right. Track all of her calls outs with details about when, relative to the shift she called out, who was available to cover what her excuse was when it happened relative to her other days off, if it was on a holiday or especially busy period. If you have access to her social media, see if she's posting pics on those days or pics of partying the night before. Build a detailed file. OP says, I live in the U.S. and how it works with my company is the first 10 years of the company, you only get 90 hours of PTO. Between 10 and 12 years, you get 100 hours. 12 to 14 years, you get 160. 15 and above, you get 200. Allotted PTO is based off how long you've worked for the company. I just hit 12 years in July, so I'm at the 160-hour mark. Betty has been with the company for three years, so she only gets 90 hours PTO, and the rest is unpaid time off, which employees don't get reprimanded for, as it's a requested day off. I do have a year's record of her call-outs, but not just her, everybody, including myself. I didn't want anyone to feel targeted, and I make sure that everyone knows I keep track of this stuff, including me. I have presented her attendance issues, not just to upper management, but to both my DMs on the company side and Starbucks, since I deal with both. They have spoken to my manager, and nothing has happened. At this point, it's on him. I do also have the morning crew alert me if she called out, and I come in sooner, as the department is my responsibility to keep it up and running. Another thing I forgot to add in, agreements that are not written with previous management are null and void when new management steps in in my company. But Betty goes to the union each time something doesn't go her way, forcing management to roll on their backs. OP responding to a downvoted comment about when she got hired at the company at such a young age. OP says, I'm 31. I got hired right before I turned 19. Technical and community colleges accept people well beyond 18 for education in the U.S. op explaining what happens if she and betty can't be off at the same time even if it's just for a few days op says if the main manager is out the assistant needs to be present vice versa basically a manager needs to be present each day regardless how it works out what happens if you both actually get sick yeah i feel like that's not a good system yeah commenter two betty is an entitled brat but you could have picked a fight with her on any other time that wasn't her wedding op says I understand your point. The wedding just came up within the last week, months after I had my time off approved. Well, now we're lying because you talked about how she's been talking about this wedding nonstop for months. Yeah. That all you've been hearing about is this wedding and now you've only known about it for a week. So I think maybe Betty didn't share the date but was talking about getting married, you know, blah, blah, blah. And then I'll give you that one. Oh, I'll just, you know, put in my time, whatever. not thinking that it was going to correspond i don't think that op actually knew that the wedding was at that time if you did op well i don't think that changes when you're with your boyfriend is though like that's still inconvenient timing in my head i'm at the point where she maybe was like oh my god these are the same weeks better get that in which like and you did it the right way yeah that's true you did it the way that you're supposed to but you also could have said something you know but also she doesn't really respect you in that way so yeah you know yeah i'm with that comment or what it's like couldn't you have picked it before the wedding kind of thing like i i hope that she doesn't lose out on all these deposits for a wedding because that's a lot of money but yeah at the same time i am like she probably knew the protocols but like i don't know i'm always like if you can help someone out why don't you help someone out but it's like she doesn't help you out. So yeah, no, I'm exactly the same. My boyfriend is still in school and this is during his vacation. It would be one thing if I could pick a different weekend with my boyfriend, even with major holidays being a blackout period. But to lie to management to take my vacation time after it was approved months ago is not OK with me. I won't roll on my back for that. Commenter 3, not the a-hole. Why is Betty still employed there? Opie says we're a union, so it's very difficult to fire someone. Can Opie go to the union and report Betty since she lied to the management? Opie says, I have talked to my ASM, assistant store manager, about her attendance issues, and there has already been a problem with Betty going to corporate and making a false accusation on HR. Nothing has been done on their end. I can only make so many suggestions to them about having a documented conversation when they don't seem interested. We are a licensed store, not a franchise, so we are technically employees under the other company in the partnership, Kroger, and union. It's very hard to just fire people in the union. There has to be a big reason and fighting for time off that was approved months ago for a last second notice is not grounds for termination. Dishonesty is, but they don't do anything about it. Commenter 4 says, it doesn't sound like Betty is doing anything out with her rights on any of your background info. You're the manager. If there's no coverage at the end of her shift, that is a you problem. Sounds like you need to hire another person. Obi says, I understand your point. We are a partnership kiosk, not an actual franchise store. I already work six days a week and can't work a seventh. That's part of our union contract. If it happens on my day off, Betty is in charge, so it becomes her responsibility to find coverage, much like how it is my responsibility to do the same when she calls out. That much I understand, but I tend to work doubles since my closers can't come in early due to school interference. I wish I was part of the hiring process, but HR leaves department managers out of that. OP clarifies on the pay cut for her position. OP says, I actually didn't take a pay cut for this position. I was under the impression that I was going to get a raise for being in a manager position, but they took that away, so I kept my current pay and the tips make up for it. I developed the habit of tracking things very early on in life, so this is just natural habit to this point. When I was the bookkeeper, management also wanted me in three other departments helping out, and I got to a point where I just wanted something stable and reliable for work and this was my ticket. As Opie spoke with the proper district managers of her company about the situation with Betty and the days off. Opie says, I have already spoken to Starbucks DM and my company Kroger DM about her in one of my planning visits. I didn't have to mention her work ethic as they already knew about it, but I did mention and present how often she calls out, stating that her attendance is a liability. I know it was put in an email because I have it printed out in a file in my locker with my boss CC'd in it, but nothing on his end was done about it. As far as her days off go, that was the least of my issues with her because I have a set day off each week. However, we're going through some scheduling changes where Thursdays and Fridays off for Betty is not doable for business purposes. I even had to change my day off, which I was fine with. So maybe she'll just quit. If that was kind of like already written up that those had to be her days off, if you guys can't do that anymore, maybe she'll quit. That's true. Yeah. Maybe if, because i wonder what she's doing thursdays and fridays i mean it could actually be something serious it doesn't have to be like oh i just want to pre-game and i don't think she has to disclose that information yeah no you definitely do i want to know yes am i nosy maybe yes there's a couple problems with the thursday friday weekend for betty now one not doable for business purposes two that was a non-written agreement under different management so that agreement is now null and void i don't know why i've been getting maybe i've just felt very against ops today but some things that everybody keeps saying i'm just kind of like why are we doing this like why doesn't it work now is this just because something happened and she lied which is terrible but are we now changing things because of that or is this like in actual need i just want to know everything i feel like i said i'm nosy well especially like with you know talking about the stuff it seems like these people like op very much like is doing everything by the books so then why is it not working so like that's what i don't understand is like how did all of this come to head when you've been complaining you've you keep records you keep all these things but they just don't do anything yeah it sounds like your upper management sucks even more than betty somehow yeah and i don't know how you could go over their head and like go to the union i feel like that's like overdoing it you know but well the union's gonna be way more on betty's side though the union is there for betty not for the company running i know which sucks i'm sorry ob the unions are great at the same time it's it's true because they fight for you but but they also fight for all of the people in it that are sucky which sucks our current manager doesn't need to honor that three she's pulling everything she can to get her way even if it means calling the union and we have an update Oh, just get to it. I'm here. One month later, for a recap, my assistant Betty asked me to reschedule my one year anniversary trip with my boyfriend so she could have her wedding, to which I declined. Then Betty went to management and lied, saying I would do it for her only for it to blow up in her face. One thing I forgot to add in the original is that I keep a planner in the department, not just for important things coming up like a launch or sale dates, but also so Betty and I can put in our vacation and work around each other. So no vacation overlaps due to previous problems last year. And yes, Betty is fully aware that this exists. I not only put my vacation time off in the system, but the planner as well as soon as my vacation hours renew. All vacations six months to a year in advance. So there's no question of it. Fast forward to today. Betty did it again. Did what? Lied? I was flipping through the planner, so for the coming months, I knew what to expect and have a plan weeks in advance of important dates. I knew Betty scheduled her wedding date, but didn't know when. I only had the hint that it would fall towards the end of May to early June. In a local park you can rent part of for the day. No shaming, but I know that dates can be switched easier than an actual venue, which works for me as well as I will be around. Wait, I thought that... I thought it was like January. That's what I also thought. It was like I think that's what we're about to find out. Yeah. OK. For the last four months, I've been pretty vocal with my plans the week of the 21st to the 27th of June as my boyfriend and I will be going to Yellowstone as an end of school year summer punt off vacation. When I saw the month of June, I noticed she wrote in her wedding day falls on the start of my vacation. Three days ago, Betty looked at me and said, I know you're excited about going to Yellowstone in June and you've been planning it since the end of March, but I was hoping you would do me a favor and push your trip back so I could have my wedding day. I scheduled it for the 21st. I looked at her in disbelief because apparently she didn't get the hint the first time. Okay. Okay. So they had rescheduled it. Now, OP, I'm sure that a park with a tent is way easier to be scheduled, but I also do feel like she could potentially be limited on dates. And you knew, you did know months in advance this time that it was going to be around that time in June. And I know it's once again like, okay, but you followed the books and you put it in first. But if she had rescheduled her wedding and told you the time of year down to like roughly when in the month it would be, and then you planned your vacation for that exact time because you wanted it to be a summer punt off Oh God this is so bad This is just messy It so messy You guys just need to not work together Yeah there like no communication and when there is communication it just like i can do that and i can do that well well you schedule this and i schedule this and then it's just like like i get it she's hard to work with but now i'm kind of like let this girl have her wedding i mean yeah i'm the same i'm like i understand you did it by the books op and like you know you're not changing it whatever like you know i get being stubborn about it but at the end of the day you know like it is very hard to very hard to plan a wedding and plus like dates are very specific you know yes i did have to gather my thoughts because it's clear to me she's doing this on purpose at this point i don't know i don't know either i calmly told her no we've been down this road and i'm not rescheduling anything i've had planned and approved on work's end for months because you planned poorly. I'll also remind you that we have a planner for these reasons, to schedule around each other's vacation so nothing overlaps. We are both in leadership roles, so when one of us is on vacation, the other has to be here. Yeah, I mean, yeah, she does need to learn that eventually, though. That's true. Betty stayed silent, and I saw her face turn red. But instead of giving her the opportunity to lie to management again, I went up and said something. I showed my boss the planner and our system and that this is a problem she doesn't see. I made it clear. Even though it shows one day, expect her to call out in the next day or two. I will be in Wyoming and will not be willing to change anything as this trip is half of my boyfriend's big Christmas present. Management confirmed that her day off has not been approved and she will need to rearrange the day as I got it approved first. Betty did look like she wanted to cry because she's not getting the princess treatment she wants, but she also doesn't realize that other people have lives too. I do fully expect her to call out and leave the department high and dry like she has done many times in the past, especially while I'm gone. We will see what happens. And we have some relevant comments. Commenter, what kind of person books a venue for a day that they know they have to work? Opie says, a local park. She does because we all know she's going to call out. But what she should know, since she's called the union so many times is making false accusations that if she calls out on a denied request, that's grounds for termination. That is the end of that story. Hey, it's Keon, your favorite Filipino here. We're going to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. Almost 30 years together, four kids and some of reality TV's most unforgettable moments, we know a thing or two about living life out loud. We're taking you behind the scenes in our new podcast between us with me, Heather Dubrow and me, Terry Dubrow between us. Isn't about perfect lighting or curated Instagram grids. It's the unfiltered behind closed doors conversations. You wish you could eavesdrop on equal parts, smart, funny, and a little bit scandalous. Every week, Heather will bring you an unapologetic take on the headlines, the trends and the cultural moments everyone's texting about. And Terry will deliver insider beauty, health, and wellness insights you won't find on TikTok. Together, we'll tell the stories, spill the secrets, and share the hacks that keep life, marriage, and everything in between feeling fresh and fun. We may live in a gated community, but there's zero gatekeeping here. And plenty of, did they just say that moments? Listen to Between Us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Usually on This Podcast Will Kill You, we talk about the diseases, infections, and biological threats that can make us really sick. But right now, we're doing something a little different. We're stepping back and looking at what the human body needs to keep going. When you consider what we know about sleep in humans, there's one rule that comes out. We are predictably unpredictable sleepers. We're talking about why sleep works the way it does, why our bodies don't follow neat rules, and why modern life makes rest so hard to come by. The second half of our series takes us to the digestive system with a multi-part series on what happens after we eat. Okay, I just have to say that all of my favorite words apparently are digestive words. Sphincter, peristalsis, duodenum. It's fascinating, it's funny, and it matters so much more than you think. Episodes of our new series run from January 20th through February 17th, with new episodes every Tuesday on the Exactly Right Network. Listen to This Podcast Will Kill You as part of the Exactly Right Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Danielle Robay, host of Bookmarked, the podcast by Reese's Book Club. And this week on Bookmarked, we're basically hosting the ultimate girls night. Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Garner, Judy Greer, Rita Wilson, and Gauri Rice and author Laura Dave. These are the women behind season two of the Apple TV series, The Last Thing He Told Me. We're talking about turning a book into a hit show and what it really takes to bring a story to life. The most important metric for me is do I want to share this book with somebody? That's what creates community. And that's the main thesis of our book club and why we started it was just to connect people together. Listen to The Bookmarked by Risa's Book Club podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I want to report my manager, but I'm scared of the retaliation. They're not allowed to do that. My boss is a bully, obviously. I 33 female work for a popular craft retail store. I genuinely enjoy my job and the people I work with except for one person. My boss 50 ish female. I started this job at the end of December 2024. Before I was hired I was very specific about my availability and it was agreed to without question. By the way this comes from useful afternoon 662. And if you want to submit your own stories, go to the r slash OK Storytime subreddit. I am Savannah. I'm Carly. And we are here to give good advice goofily, but we don't have all the answers. We would just tell you what we would do in this situation, but we would love to know what you would do in the comments. As OP says, right after I started, the guy who hired me left for another company. It took them three months to get us a new GM. We had a temp manager who had been with the company for years from another store to help us until then. During that time, we still had the assistant managers and the replenishment manager from the original crew of people. While the temp manager was a bit aggressive and could be bullish, she was good at her job and extremely knowledgeable about the company policies and procedures. We had a couple of people leave during that time because things were a bit chaotic, and like I said, she was a bit more aggressive than necessary. I wasn't that upset about one person because they never wanted to work when they were there and had a super negative attitude that brought everyone else down. However, the other person was great, worked hard, usually positive, and did their best. So the new general manager started and everything seemed pretty good at first. She jumped in, worked side by side with you, laughed, observed how all the employees were currently, even had a friend she worked with previously follow her in. Then one day, it was like something just snapped. Suddenly, no one could do anything right. Y'all aren't working fast enough. You don't know what you're doing. No one wants to work around here. I have to do everything myself. Meanwhile, we have all been staying well after our scheduled shifts, agreeing to overnight shifts on top of them, and busting our butts trying our best to get the store where it needs to be. We are all looking around at each other, including her friend. Like, who on earth is she talking about? Because it sure as heck ain't this team. It only proceeded to get worse from there. She started systematically bullying people into leaving. Anyone she decided wasn't doing a good enough job. She would constantly berate them until she couldn't take it anymore. She would talk about them. So and so it's got to go. She can't do this job. She never should have been given the responsibility if she can't do it. To other employees, which is completely against HR. Also being made aware by multiple people, including the person herself, that she is autistic. Whoa, that is not where I thought that was going to go. I thought that was gonna be like that she is mean or something. She is doing her absolute best in trying her very hardest to do what she is asked, but doesn't always understand what the GM is wanting her to do. It didn't help that the GM changed what she wanted every other minute and expected everyone to just know. You gotta love those people. When told the girl was autistic and might need extra slash more specific instructions to accomplish tasks, she flat out said, I don't care. She should know. It's common sense. If she can't figure it out by now, then she shouldn't have this job and she needs to go. Oh my God. That's kind of crazy to say. Like, I don't know, girl, maybe say what you're saying better. Yeah. I don't even know. Well, then at that point, though, I would think that that employee could go report something under like the Disability Act kind of being like, you actually can't say that. Like I am allowed my accommodations of like more time or like needing a second kind of thing. Yeah. That's the thing. She caused this girl to cry on multiple occasions by constantly berating her to the point where she was terrified to even move or ask any questions for clarification on tasks. It got to the point that the girl, who was a part-time assistant manager, eventually just quit because she couldn't take it anymore. The GM has done this to multiple employees since. Unfortunately, some of them were actually really great employees who always worked extremely hard and had great positive attitudes. Several of them even quit without notice or walked out mid-shift due to her bullying. Dang. I feel like that's something that needs to go on record. Yeah, and does management not take note of that, that multiple people walk out quitting? Yeah, I don't know. The GM has a habit of telling everyone that if they aren't sure about something, then just ask her. But when you do ask, she immediately goes off about how it is common sense and you shouldn't be having to ask. But if you go ahead and do a task you've done multiple times the same way as always, then you've done it wrong and you should have asked. Oh God, you're danged if you do and danged if you don't. That's horrible. Her favorite thing to do is belittle you, but only in front of customers or other employees. She will do everything she can to make you feel as incompetent as possible. The GM also refuses to listen to anyone about anything. If you try to tell her there is a problem with the system, she says there is not. and the employees just aren't doing their jobs. Example, inventory keeps getting unlocated or relocated to other areas in the system. I have personally gone through two specific departments and fully corrected the locations of every overstock item in every spot in those departments multiple times now. Four different managers have witnessed this. Days later, the locations are wrong again, usually after the system has been updated overnight. I have been telling her this for months. She is 100% insistent that there is nothing wrong with the system and I am just not doing my job. Four managers that you hired because you bullied all the others out of the store have witnessed me correcting this multiple times but apparently I'm doing nothing. Sarcasm. Other examples. SOP standard operating procedures are not followed. I know about SOPs. We all know about SOPs here. If brought to her attention she says you're wrong and asks who is the manager here. She has berated several employees over allowing people with animals in the store that are not service animals because we can't do anything about those. Her words, not mine. I love animals and service animals are fantastic, wonderful, hardworking creatures. She is insistent no animals are allowed in the store and has kicked out customers over it, even when the animals were leashed and well-behaved. I came across the SOP regarding animals recently. They are actually allowed as long as there is no open food and the animal is well-behaved. It even specifically states that if an employee is afraid of them, then have another employee assist the customer. If you in any way go against something she wants, then your job is threatened. She always has a golden child she uses as an example to other employees, usually without that person's knowledge, until they make her mad and then they become a target. God, this girl sounds horrible. Sounds like the worst. Hey, I know because at one point it was me until I said no to extending my availability. As soon as I said no, she said, well, if I have to hire someone for these shifts, that's going to cut into your hours and that will put you out the door. Keep in mind, I was very specific in my availability before I was hired. That is true. She knew that when she started three months after me, I stay late multiple times a week to help, don't take breaks, miss lunch most of the time. I forget about it when I'm focused on my task until I start to shake because I need to eat. I've never said no to an overnight shift to help out. and I build all the Holiday Village displays because everyone else is afraid of the wiring, as well as any other displays. I bust my butt at work, but she threatens my job when I refuse to adjust my availability to fill schedule gaps she created by bullying employees until they quit. We have had at least three full staff turnovers, minus one person, me, since December of last year. You would think that corporate would notice, but the store numbers have gone up so much from us catching up on store resets and sales because the resets are up to date and you can find stuff. That they made her a part of a manager training team, someone who will help train other new store managers when they start. When you walk in the store, you know immediately if she is there because the store energy is so heavy and all the employees look miserable. If she isn't there, everyone is super upbeat, laughing, having fun, and working hard because we feel good. Her friend who came with her even quit and walked out one day because it was so bad. I wonder if people coming in for this training program though will be the ones to kind of start reporting her. Yeah. Because if she's mean to them they're just there to train. True it's true yeah I hope I hope that happens. I hate bullies. She came back a week later but still that says something. The friend is always trying to keep all of us positive and to stay. When the GM is on a war path she will tell us to just ignore her and let it roll off because we are doing good. They've worked together at other jobs and apparently it's like this at each one, but the GM doesn't seem to notice the pattern. We would all love if her friend, who is an assistant manager that came with her, took over the GM position. She won't, but we would try to get her to for sure. I've been asked multiple times by the DM, the temp GM, the visiting manager from the other store, and the other current managers about taking a management position and I flat out refused. I don't want it. I want to work what I agreed to and keep doing my outside interests that make me happy. Good for you, OP. I genuinely enjoy my other co-workers and the job itself. The only problem is her. What do we think? Yeah, she just sounds awful. That's one of those things where I do unfortunately feel like it's going to take a while, but management will notice and kind of see. I don't think you should be afraid of retaliation, though, from reporting this more like what's she gonna do just be the same level of mean she's already being yeah and like she can be really mean but the more that they hear about this the more likely it is that she gets reassigned or like you could get reassigned or something like hopefully it'd be her but like i think that they need to know yeah and she it's not she can't fire you for that see that that's illegal yeah and see in this situation like me personally i have no backbone and i would be like i mean i don't like how she's treating it but like i'm doing my work fine so you know whatever but it does like suck when you're like trying to you know keep it positive and keep everyone like you know in the loop and like even if you make friends like during it then you know then all of a sudden they're gone because they didn't get along with the you know gm or whatever we had a visiting manager from another store who witnessed her treatment of the employees and asked some of us about it. We all spilled the tea, the whole pot, and most of the cabinet, but not all of it. When she asked why none of us had said anything to the district manager on their visits, we all looked at her like, are you serious? Can you imagine the retaliation she would rain down on all of us if they let our name slip? We don't trust them. The only time they've asked how things were going with the new GM, she was standing next to them. Oh. She made sure we were all aware that there is an anonymous number we can call to report her actions. Oh. This was a couple of weeks ago. We were all skeptical of the anonymous number. I found out on Friday that multiple employees, including the other managers and the manager who visited us, are planning to use it to report her. Would I be an a-hole if I did too? No, do it. Do it. No. You'd be an a-hole to yourself if you didn't. Yeah, that's true. That is actually the end. When segregation was a law, one mysterious black club owner, Charlie Fitzgerald, had his own rules. Segregation in the day, integration at night. It was like stepping on another world. Was he a businessman? A criminal? A hero? Charlie was an example of power. They had to crush him. Charlie's Place, from Atlas Obscura and Visit Myrtle Beach. Listen to Charlie's Place on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This Women's History Month, the podcast Keep It Positive, Sweetie, celebrates the power of women choosing healing, purpose, and faith, even when life gets messy. Love is not a destination. You have to work on it every day. Keep It Positive, Sweetie creates space for honest conversations on self-worth, love, growth, and navigating life with grace and grit, led by women who uplift, inspire, and tell the truth out loud. I have several conversations with God and I know why it took 20 years. To hear this and more, listen to Keep It Positive, Sweetie, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's the new me. And it's the old them. This Woman's History Month, the podcast, If You Knew Better with Ambergrimes, spotlights women who turn missteps into momentum and lessons into power. My like tunnel vision of like, I gotta achieve this was off the strengths of like, I want to make a better life for us. If You Knew Better brings real talk from women who've lived it, unpacking career pivots, relationship lessons, and the mindset shifts that changed everything. Listen to If You Knew Better with Amber Grimes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.